#37 Behind the Scenes at the Attitude Awards

0:28Welcome to this week's episode of Your Internet Boyfriends. was lying down on the ground three hours waiting for an ambulance. I obviously rescued him, saved him but Lisa said, they don't want to hear that anymore, they're sick of it. Do you know what they want to hear about? The other thing we saw on the street. What's that? I'm going to give you a few guesses. It's a sport. They were in full attire. Any guesses? This weekend gone? This weekend just gone, yeah. What street? It was in Knightsbridge. But that, I don't think that potentially might actually help you if you're in on the know, it might actually help you?

1:00Americans? No, not Americans as far as I know. No, because all the American football people were back. No, I'm going to give you another clue. It's a big Asian art week this week. Oh. Taekwondo? No, bigger than Taekwondo. Sumo. Sumo wrestlers. Oh, ads. I don't know where these ads come from. They're doing a big sumo show in the Royal Albert Hall. That's where the lads must have been coming from. Oh. Three big boys walking down Knightsbridge. Wow. Full attire. In the little. The full thing. squeak squeak yeah wow and they were walking down like they own the place how big lads uh that i mean i've never seen guys i've never seen guys kind of wider than they're tall yeah i've never seen guys as big as this that like kind of also proportionately looked like that you know giants like they look like giants yeah um cool it sparked something in me where i definitely had a fascination with sumo wrestlers when i was younger do you remember were you into sumo wrestlers?

1:59Not really. Are you saying you? No. Didn't. Wasn't. Just wasn't. Sorry, what was that thought you were having there? Just wondering. Yeah. Was it on TV? It was on Eurosport. No, it didn't. Did you not have Eurosport? No. What did you have? Did you just have the main channels? Yeah, yeah. For anyone who doesn't know, there was the main channels, the staple channels of RT1, RT2. TV3 came in and out at some point, but mainly just those. No, we didn't have the... And then it was multi-channel. Foreign television. Multi-channel had Eurosport. So lads in small little what do you call them what are they called actually I don't know the little suits I know what we were calling them before we won't say it yeah is it that bad to say it that that's what we were referring to I don't know but they're very yeah big and strong kind of fat and strong and muscly huge all at the same time huge needs the weight like you know I really admired sumo wrestlers when I was younger I had you ever hear Yokozuna no Yokozuna he was in wrestling he was in like WWE WWF at the time I don't know I think sumo wrestling was quite big in Ireland at one point we go to the show I'd love to go to the show I have no idea what it is is it a concert is it a fight yeah I think it's Royal Albert Hall what the hell what do you mean it's very grand very prestigious honestly you have to see them it is they are imposing and do you know what they know it yeah yeah they 100 % know it you know all the times I've been in Japan I've never gone to a show we nearly went once and then just just didn't work out or show or fight or whatever it's called because you can go like they have huge big arenas and isn't there I'm just getting a little flashback isn't there kind of a ref going around waving something I don't know he goes around waving something I used to love it I used to watch it all the time I used to pretend I was a sumo wrestler and they must have been doing a bit of promotions was it yeah all they have to do is walk around the street tic tocs yeah honestly they look like they were just going out for lunch oh could you imagine that imagine you're working the lunch shift coming in under a bit of pressure three sumo wrestlers come in yeah eat your house

4:01and they'd get some food Christ they'd be the wrong they'd be the wrong yeah I saw this the branding they'd be the wrong men to eat your house yeah God be wrecked the branding is very good yeah it's like big red signs I literally saw them today for the first time yeah whoever is putting money behind this well it's working because we're talking about it on the podcast we're talking about it have you seen anything interesting on the streets of London I was I was accosted on the train on my way here. I was flirtated. I was on the Bakerloo. Okay. Which is a very... Do you ever get it? Yeah. Can I describe it for people?

4:38Yeah. If I have the right one. The Bakerloo looks like back in the 70s it served carvery dinners in it. Yes. Lovely. Timber paneling. It's cockatly old because they're they're waiting to do up the Bakerloo and they're going to extend it down to Lewisham. Maybe. that's been going on for about 50 years. So they haven't really bothered to kind of zhuzh it up for a very long time so it's a bit bockety. But it's kind of quiet when you get down I shouldn't say where we are but there's a bit of it that's a bit quieter than the other bits. And I was in the carriage on my own and there are these kind of four-seaters like the seats face each other rather than all along in a line.

5:19They're like a train train where the seats are facing each other. And I was there on my own and then LGBT tea, got on and where did he sit? Right across from me, spread legs spread out and he was giving me smiles and he kept looking at my shoes. What kind of shoes are you wearing? Just little runners, little trainers, kept looking at my shoes and he was giving me big smiles and I didn't realise that my socks have a provocative phrase. What do they say? My socks. Read it? They say, use me because I ran out of socks and I was farting around the house and I grabbed these and I genuinely genuinely didn't realise that I was wearing these.

6:00When I show the camera I think I go absolute and he was giving me his smiles. Of course he was. And I was like what do you want about my shoes? I couldn't understand. I love the way you're like me? Coy me? My shoes. I had to get off anyway. I was busy. I had to come here. What did you do? Nothing. I was just kind of smiling back but I was like also this is an empty carriage. I'm small bit, small bit. I think that increases the intensity of it. Harder. Yeah, I think, especially on the Bakerloo line, it has a little bit of a shining to it. Sometimes the lights go out. It does, like the flashing and it gets a bit dark.

6:33Then it comes back on and he's got the socks on. The socks on, or is it? Yeah, I need to not wear these. The Bakerloo line is like something that someone would maybe design and put into like a restaurant or a club in Dawson. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's real nice. And the bouncy seats, it's old style. Like, yeah. I have another pair of socks and they say, down the back they say S-L-U-T Wow I thought they actually just said down the back Yes and I wore them one day by accident in Edinburgh doing my flyering got loads of loads of attention Wait you were in shorts though were you? I was in shorts Oh well there you go What else do I have to say?

7:15I have misplanned my haircuts I'm very flat I'm feeling very lacking juge You're giving me do you know what you're giving me today it's the first time ever country life you know country file country life yeah yeah I met my friend today she said I was looking like someone going trying to catch fish yeah you do you do or like just have my little vest on but like kind of you're going down you're going down to visit the farm manager to see if he's done all the jobs right oh I'm not doing the jobs no you're not doing the jobs per se but you do talk about farm work but you don't do any of it I have staff to do the jobs yeah you do yeah yeah she said I was like someone going to try and get a fish hmm um don't know why Put this on But what's happened With the haircuts Don't you get your hair cut I'm doing it tomorrow I misplanned I misplanned myself So yeah it's a bit long It's a bit flat It's a bit Just need a little What have you been doing I've been You know Gymming away There's a new part To the gym now That's after opening up Showers way at the back Way at the back So there's a lot Of commotion in there Slippy floors Very sleepy floors Is there carry on Yeah There's carry on Have you seen it I a bit of caffling a bit of laughing and stuff and a bit of like I don't think they were coming in to get the shampoo from the other lad like it's their own fault they put the showers in a very secluded area it's a free for all what's the configuration is it one big one big shower little cubicles one big door big hose one lad in there with a hose and dungarees no it's the problem is is that you have to go from the changing rooms yeah then into another little area then around the corner and then into the showers.

8:55Totally hidden away. And then the showers themselves, the shower panes, like they're almost hidden. So if you went down to the back right or back left, there's no traffic passing. But every once, there's a lad inside there waving at you like. Yeah, yeah. But there's no one passing through. No one can pass through or not. And okay. And is it cubicles? Is there doors? There's doors, yeah. So you can go in and close the door? Yeah. Oh. It's madness. Absolute sheer madness inside there. That's great. But I found out a little jacuzzi fact. I don't know if you knew this. Yeah. Do you know all the lovely foam in jacuzzis?

9:27What is it? Human fat. Oh, you think? No, I was told. Floating. This is probably definitely completely factually incorrect, but that's just what it is. It's all the fat that comes out, sweats, and then it goes into kind of a soapy foam. Does it not get sucked down the gutter? No, that's what it is. You know when you think you're going in, you're getting a few bubbles or whatever. What was the name of the shampoo that was a pirate? do you remember that no oh it's come on it's a it's a it's a kid's shampoo that's a pirate it's like no more tears pirate no I don't know what the hell was the name of that the bottle was a pirate the bottle was a pirate yeah I can't remember but yeah so supposedly jacuzzis that's what that's what's going around in there and there's a new jacuzzi there's a new jacuzzi in there yeah okay but it's you know I just I can't do jacuzzi do you ever go does anyone ever get into a jacuzzi right none none like having a great I would in a in a yeah in a nice hotel in a swishy yeah nice hotel but still like some old lad comes in and he knocks his knees off you or something like you know do you know I absolutely hate and you're sitting down then and you're going how are you getting on like and you're screaming because it's quite loud yeah it is you're absolutely roaring the bubbles are roaring and someone has to be in charge of the bubbles push it there again get it going again and is the jacuzzi unisex or is it within the changing room no no it's unisex it's mixed okay yeah if it was in the changing room so there's women coming in and you're trying to just look at the ground trying not to be a pervert it's the climbing in and out like where are you meant to look where are you meant to look you know yeah yeah yeah just submerge yourself you can't submerge yourself either no that's a rogue move as well have you ever seen people do that dunk themselves in a jacuzzi they should be arrested like on the spot arrested get their hard drives like have you ever seen that happen yeah no a lad will like submerge himself under it You'd have to go down on your knees.

11:20Be gone for five minutes. Not that deep. God. Did you have a pool at home? Do you have any idea what you're saying? What kind of pool did you have at home? What? What kind of pool did you have? Not at home, like in the town. Oh, just like, oh my God. Did you see, sorry. Did you see the comment about, was it in a swimming pool on one of the videos? I don't read those songs. Oh. I do, I do. Oh my God. I do, I do. Someone said, did you ever, was there an NNN swimming pool? Yeah. What was the name of it? just Ennis swimming pool? Yeah. They were like, did you ever do wides in Ennis swimming pool? Oh.

11:54Because you couldn't do lengths. Oh, because it was small? Yeah. Oh, yeah. But they built a new one. They're always building new stuff in Ennis. They built a new one in Kilkei years ago. Yeah. And it was very exciting. It was the shape of a boat upside down. And it had a lazy river. Do you ever go on there? So you float along on it? That's great fun. That is good. Just slide. I don't know how it works. It's very exciting. There's one of those in the aquedown in Tralee. Have you ever been on that? Yes. They have the wave machine. They do, yeah. That's treacherous. I've seen, oh my God, I've seen old ones get caught off by that.

12:25It's treacherous. I mean, I shouldn't be laughing, but it is one of the funniest things in the world. Yeah, do they put off a big siren or something? And then the waves start. The old ones would be hanging on to a swimming cup. I was close to each other, just gone. It's pretty vicious. They'd be all piled up at the end then. We used to travel to Trilly to go to that. That was like the national wave machine. It was a big deal. there's big news from Ennis go on queer heart of Europe announced I'm sorry did I tell you what the fuck is that that is not true it's true why why is it the queer heart I'm sorry what the fuck is this and you're from there 2028 yeah watch me now try and get a bit of work 2028 Euro Pride is going to be held in Clare and Limerick Isn't that exciting?

13:19So it's not Ennis? It's the region Okay Limerick and Clare Okay The west of Ireland You have 55 shows on Morning, noon and night And lick everyone's ears Like hello I'm back again Isn't that great? So it moved Like it was in London A few years ago And it goes to like It's generally fairly big cities And now It's like the Olympics It moves around every year Is it every year? I don't know Pride must be savage Oh furious but they'll all they'll all group in but wait how did they get it how did they land it just do a big campaign and there was a big meeting the other about two weeks ago and everyone makes their pitch it's like the Olympics you make your pitch and you say these are the things we're going to do and they won wow it's great so all the politicians now are suddenly we love the gays oh they love it the business every business will be putting up the flags 100 % yeah they're putting up all the wrong flags and everything yeah but sure look get them in it'll be great money for the town That's amazing.

14:16So what kind of events is there going to be? I don't know. I don't know how they're going to split it across. Because Limerick is obviously could be at risk of dominating the whole thing. So they'll have to spread it around. Do you know when a Winter Olympics is held across five regions? Nobody goes to the other one. Yeah, so to try and we use the sign. This is a small sideways, I think. but yeah do you know what I was looking up today because I was thinking about sumo wrestling have you ever seen a biathlon you're really excited about the sumo sumo wrestling is so cool it's so cool you know the biathlon what's that it's where they ski and they shoot a little bit right but I was just looking that up to say that like that is one of the coolest things in the world but then I looked up how they actually came about with it and there used to be military training in Scandinavia and then they made it like an original sport or something like that but I was just like isn't that bonkers.

15:13What would the sumos do? It's surely an Olympic sport, is it? Yeah, I don't know how unbelievable would it be, right? If we could make this happen, 2028, get sumo wrestling to NS, the NS, like, whatever, I don't know what it'd be called. What's your main hall? I don't know. Is there a town hall? I don't know if there actually is. I could be mixing too many traditions here that I don't know if they'll go together or not. But sumo wrestling, NS Hall, Yeah 2028 Mayo Pride Great Oh Glore Glore The theatre Yeah Into Glore Glore theatre Yeah Banging in there That'd be great Yeah Yeah Dress them up Any other news What else do I have for you I What else was I going to say I can't remember Sumos I had a main bit of news I don't know I was famous Oh you went to some awards I went to the awards I wasn't nominated But I still went along to the Attitude Awards thank you Attitude Awards for having me I'm surprised you didn't win that I'm surprised you didn't win that I wasn't even considered to be honest I think I have another bit of work to do they're very like I've been in television for 15 years oh yeah there's a there's a there's a crowd there now that I'm not part of yes getting there it was very swish now if you were up for an award you can make it up yeah what would you think you'd get nominated for chat big chat biggest chatter Best Chet Yapper Yapper of the Year There's a comedy award There's a music award There's a drag There's an ally You could get that Danny Minogue Swept it from under your feet Okay that would be She swept it It would be fairly hard To beat Danny on this I'd say Yeah she swept it Remember she said She was queer a few months ago But kind of by accident And then she was like I'm not actually Yeah And it's lost her marvels I didn't mean to say that I meant like I like queer people Yeah she won the ally Tiara Sky she's up there on the wall she won the drag award do you know her Tiara Sky she's something we got in oh if she was in here she just screams she just screams she never stops screaming it's soundproof so it's good yeah she's just so happy and loud and excited and she goes around the streets interviewing people I have seen her do you know her yeah I have seen her interview people and she screams at complete strangers I love you and I met her I don't think I had met her before and she just makes everyone think best friends I love you baby it's like you don't fucking know who I she's a lovely but you do come away with a big smile on your face oh she makes everyone feel so special I was watching her she was going around 500 900 gays and she made all of them think that they were the only gay in the room yeah yeah she's a very she's like a proper she's just meant to be in front of people any bit of scandal there must have been all sorts happening there was an awful lot of scandal that I can't tell you anything about oh come on oh celebrity celebrities falling down.

18:09Yeah? I saw a few celebrities falling down. Falling down? There's a lot of free drinks. There's a lot of free drinks. This isn't a euphemism. This is just so much. I mean just falling upside down. Actually falling down. Falling upside down. Falling upside down. The drinks. Like an aunt at a wedding. Like there was no end. I don't know where the money. Well they get huge sponsorship. It was sponsored by Virgin Atlantic. So like massive. Just they had air cabin crew people all over the place. Like it was just mad. The money. It was like Yeah TV Very swish So I went I brought Rory McInerney Oh yeah Who hates her guts Yeah he better You used to have Something going on with him before Did you?

18:49We had a podcast before Oh yeah He's coming round now He's coming round to you So we went He's only dying to get on this He's great He's a very good He You just turn And he's talking He'd talk to anyone Like the most famous person He actually had that Same effect on me When I met him first He started talking to me And I was like I am great. Yeah. He honestly makes you smile. He's ridiculous. He's all action. And every time I turned, he was talking to... It doesn't matter. Was he wearing a jumpsuit? He was wearing... No, he was wearing a very jazzy 70s blouse. Oh. Quite low in the V. Right. Yeah.

19:26Is he hairy in the chest? Is he hairy in the chest? No, I think he might be, but it was gone. I think he would be. Oh, yeah. But it was gone. But for the blouse, he got rid of it. That night for the blouse Beat it Yeah he's very handy You know you can just Set someone off And he was talking to everybody Oh yeah yeah Follow him like a trailer Yeah Get in on all the good conversations Really good Come on Come on Well I ended up in a taxi Home with someone Who was very nice And Is my neighbour And we found out So we shared a taxi home And There was a bit I don't know Was there a kissing competition?

20:04No There was just a bit of but you're still kind of working and everyone is kind of someone so there's a bit of a holding back because you're not you don't want to end up in a meeting with that person then in a few months and have let yourself down so there's a bit there's a little bit of dancing around getting too close to things but we were like oh we'll get a taxi home except to separate houses but to the general direction and we might have a little a little little flirt in the back of the taxi or something and we were just taken off and two gays jumped into the taxi. I don't know who they were.

20:40They were like, are you going to Dalston? And they kind of just... Resumptuous? Yeah. Yeah, well... But you were like, yes, we are, of course. We were, we looked like we were. And they got into the car and I don't know how it happened. Just ended up that we brought them home as well. And they, I don't know who they are. Where did they leave the cab? They all got out then at your man's house in Dalston. So I should, that ruined the plan. but they were telling stories one of them was very excited because his ex had been kissing a very famous gay man I can't say but they were very drunk I'm completely sober so there was an awful lot of things being said in this taxi you're like an undercover spy inside there aren't you you're dangerous on a night off and the taxi man was giving me eyes in the mirror he was like they were you know when the one in the front is the chatty one twisted around like almost hanging out over the seat head through the seat yeah yeah come and talking to us bitching and giving out it was very funny the poor taxi man I'd say people hate to see Mark Teacocks coming on a night show she's listening she's listening I never say I take it all in I never say a word the human microphone I got all the news yeah I got all the news you know I have a very sweeping generalisation question to ask you I was thinking about it during the week as a loved one decided that she would try and pick burst some spots that may have been on my body.

22:09Oh, God. Yeah, I know. Shocking, right? But it's a fairly common phenomenon out there. Okay. Right? That for some reason, in my experience, a girl will be like, oh, you have a spot on your back. I'm gonna burst that. Right? Yeah. You're wincing now, right? So this is good. It's just a sharp turn. I know. Topic. It's something I've been meaning to ask and I'm forgetting every week. So, right? Sweeping generalization. but then in a gay relationship, right, since you are the ambassador and sole representative of all gay people on planet Earth, is that a common experience? I don't think so. No? Have you ever had anyone burst a pimple?

22:48I don't think so. No? I don't... No. Ever? I don't think so. And you've never heard about it or anything like that? I wouldn't be seeking it out. well you don't seek it out you don't ask them to do it it's just that it happens would she be kind of waiting to do it though oh she'd be she'd be looking forward to it oh yeah if she saw it she'd be delighted she'd check an old one stop she'd check an old one no she'd only be delighted if you've got an ingrown hair this is a common phenomenon in definitely I'm just wondering what is it grooming mothering or something there's something there you couldn't possibly look after yourself is there kind of a I think no I think there's a deep satisfaction in in kind of it's an interesting question I suppose it's deep satisfaction in maybe seeing the the the the pusses come out maybe you know sorted it or whatever dig it out yeah but I think that I think unless I'm mistaken have I just found a very very straight experience I I wouldn't I I have no desire to do that or to have that to have help with that and you've never ever had that get away with me get away I don't think so no wow I don't think so anyone out there I would close the door anyone out there who's yeah but would you would you be turned off if someone said if you just felt a sharp dart oh my god what'd she do without asking I can't handle it she'd be like give me that there and like no fucking go for it a tweezers come out or anything like absolutely not yeah I had something on my no I had some okay right I have a there's like a little what was some sort of super blackhead at some point right on my face right and that that never sealed up ever again and sometimes it'll like you know refuel itself right she goes in she'd be waiting for it like delighted no smiling like no and that is not just the sole experience of this relationship I would I would do all of that myself now yeah you wouldn't let anyone near you I've been okay now recently I have waves of it of what of like those problems I've actually touched wood I've been okay no breakouts I've been alright I remember one day you came in here with a spot oh call it off summer do you know what used to be really bad because the back we have to talk about the back the back is a problem your back for men yeah yeah it's like it gets spotty and it gets like introducing women yeah but it was pick the back off it was the summers when I was doing loads of walking tours and I was carrying a backpack and I think I had a sweaty back you had a sweaty back and then yeah that was a problem but sure do you have a hairy back I don't no No.

25:29Not very hairy. No? Until below the hips. What? The legs. A border. The legs. No, the back is fine for now. Wild image I have of a carpeted mark below the waist. Okay, anyway. Should I go to a break? That's the news.

25:52Do you know what the fans were asking for news from Lisboa? should we say hello to our international boyfriend johnny i think we will we had a little teaser there a couple of weeks ago yeah let's go full hog good right yeah i'm not missing anything um johnny how are you now lad good how are you good johnny is that something that you have ever encountered have you ever had a partner or anyone you've been with pick your spots or brush your pimples oh my god one of my ex-boyfriends used to love this as well and i just don't get I just don't get it do you love it Mark? I don't like it there's no need for it I don't want it I think people have like a satisfaction of there's like isn't there like games you can get where you can like pretend squeeze out the guts from pimples because I think it does something therapeutic to people the guts but I just don't get it squeeze out your guts do you ever have your do you ever have your guts squeezed out Johnny?

26:47a few times do you ever have wait so you because I was wondering Mark's never experienced it he's never come across it not really And I've come across it in nearly every relationship. But you've never gone for it, right? No, I've never gone for it. I was asked to one time, I was kind of like, nah. But I've definitely been with someone who is, I'm not going to name a shame, but has been into it. Into it? Yeah. Not in that kind of way, but just kind of like, it gets the job done, you know what I mean? Where does the border of into it go anyway? Do you know what I mean? Do you have to get turned on by it for it to be into it?

27:23Or seeking it out. I have no desire now. They'd be kind of like putting, like cooking oil on your back and stuff, trying to get you to break out. Yeah. Rubbing all the spasps all over here. The pussy, my mother says. Oh, Jesus. Why did they say that? It's always on about the pussy. There's some things that Irish mothers say that are just completely incorrect. Did I tell you about that before? The pussy and the ulcer. What? Someone had an ulcer on her leg. was all pussy. You actually said this in one of the original, like one of the early episodes. Yeah. Yeah, oh my God, lads, I went to show the Ireland-Portuguese game was on, the qualifier for the World Cup.

28:05Yeah, Mark was watching. I didn't know about that. Are you into sports at all, any of you? Me? No. Dennis is good. Yeah, I'd be able to keep up a conversation about it. Ronaldo took away the win, didn't he? Well, no, he didn't actually score and he missed the penalty, but like this is so funny because i know nothing about sports but like my whole entire family are obsessed with sports so i think it kind of like ruined it for me so now i'm like i like dancing you know whatever but i never knew i never went to soccer game in my life so this was my first experience going to it so i didn't even know i don't even know the rules really what did you wear so i was trying to find a jersey full full kit boots but it's definitely become a bit of a fashion thing anyway but like i think i couldn't get an irish jersey anywhere in portugal and then i was going with a portuguese friend of mine who that's the reason i went because he was like look i've booked tickets so i booked a ticket little did i realize on the way there he was like you do realize like you're sitting in the portuguese section now and i was like oh you split up that was a thing yeah literally it's all the way like irish guys are way on the other side of the stadium and uh i was just amongst all these portuguese people but i was wearing a green t-shirt but like the Portuguese jersey is kind of it's green as well the home jersey and it just has a little bit of red on the collar so you kind of confuse it close enough so wait what were you what were you sporting what did you pick up I was supporting Ireland technically no no what were you what were you wearing oh just a green t-shirt so and I bought a scarf as well and I had it had Ireland and then I had Portugal on the other side like you know it was like Ireland v Portugal or whatever but then I realized half or during the game it was just a Portuguese flag.

29:46There's a green side for Ireland. And did you have to keep your mouth closed the whole time in case they heard you? Oh my god no actually there was two Irish guys that happened to be sitting on the other side of my Portuguese friend and I'd say we must have been the only Irish people in that whole section so I felt a little bit kind of more at ease with it at that point but they didn't actually serve any alcohol in the stadium as well because I was like at least if I had a few beers I'd kind of relax into it you know because you have this stereotype of going to matches where you'd be very like it might be very alpha or something you know especially soccer so that terrifies me like so I was like granted I'll have a few beers or whatever were you having a few beers to get involved like just kind of like loosen up a little bit you know I'm just kind of sure like about three beers in then I'd be like come on Ireland that's the same thing my mother does as if my mother's watching a match no idea who anyone is or whatever she'll come in for five minutes and just go oh Jesus oh God oh brilliant oh my God like drive us all completely insane and she'll go in God yeah shouldn't have a clue what she's talking about did we win or lose we lost we lost unfortunately and a 91 minute or something like that I just say I feel like there's always a game this never ends like this thing but where is it going like they'll start again next week a new championship a new tournament never stops where's it going?

31:15Do you know there's too many I thought of it Do you know what I mean? It's not even like Any time you start off a sentence with there's too many it's always dodgy But it's not even like once a year there's like what is this Are you trying to alienate like the four straight lads who listen to this podcast? What's the championship? What are the What? It's World Cup qualifiers World Cup qualifiers Yeah How often is that? It's every four years okay fair enough like the World Cup is every four years qualifiers before when is that when is it what year are we even number 2026 26 okay fair enough where's it being held is it is it held in the US that's way too much information to be is it the one in Qatar is that over that one's over oh yeah great success no the one is the one is held in the US who are you who are you there with was it a you on a date or a friend date no just a friend but he actually lives in London but he's from the town I lived in in Porto he's actually from there which was a complete coincidence I ended up in this small beach town outside Porto called Espinho.

32:10And he's actually from that town. So I was like, oh, this is hilarious. But then he was coming to see the match. And he was like, come along if you want. And I was like, brilliant. Because he's mad into it. He's mad into sports. So I felt a bit kind of like I knew someone, so it was fine. But then I was sure I was in the Portuguese section then the whole time. So it was just hilarious. But we had really good seats. It was right behind the goal. So like literally when Ronaldo was doing the penalty, we were the Irish guy was on our side so we were just like you could just see Ronaldo right in front of us like basically really we were so close yeah it was class that was the only thing I was fangirling over because it's just kind of celebrity like do you know does Ronaldo play for someone else as well outside of the country do you know what I have no idea who Ronaldo plays for at this stage but do they play for the country and then they play for yeah they play for a club then as well yeah they have two jobs they have two jobs yeah they get paid well for it though yeah so they're fine do the Irish ones do that the Irish lads somebody who's playing in the English league somebody who's playing in the Irish league oh do you know they come out like they come out warming up at the start as well so you kind of like sure like it started turning a bit you know because like they're just coming out working out in front of you then at the thing and it's just funny how you could have two different perspectives like I'm going to say gay man so I'm like oh my god this is like porn but then like everyone else is just like go on lads you know like warming up I know they don't seem to notice it's very sexual with the whole thing the lunging and the bending and the...

33:33Oh my God. Let's, like, if we're talking percentages in that stadium, a good percentage of those lads going, go on, go on, are enjoying it for the same reasons they're at home. Oh yeah. Do you know what I mean? Oh yeah, 100%. Yeah. They're confused about Ronaldo's shorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone kicked a ball actually in the warm-up. Oh my God, this is very dramatic. Someone kicked a ball during the warm-up. I didn't notice it happened, but the ball went right over my head, me and my friend's head, hit the woman right behind us. full force into the head like oh my god literally like she must have had a cup it gets a bit kind of bad now but she like she was pumping bleeding oh god she was pumping so then like a cup very dramatic so then everyone was like in Portuguese like medical medical and everyone was like like getting the thing up the blood was streaming down her face like the child her child was there but I was like my mom's gonna die and like they were just it was just very dramatic but like rightly so you know so like then all the sports like A &E guys came jumping up from the crowd to like stitch her up and everything but she had to leave she had to go to get checked I'd say because concussion probably but she'll be telling that story for the rest of her life did you see her coming and dodge it though my friend did I was paying attention but yeah he literally had glasses on but he just went like jump down got your one killed was she thrilled though would that be kind of a an honour or something What in the name of God?

35:02Would that be kind of like Hit me Ronaldo Hit me She'd get hit into the face No I'd say I'd say just be really sore Have you ever got hit With a football in the rain? I know It's very bad Yeah Really bad Was there any bit of excitement? Was there any bit of a band? The whole thing is excitement But like Do you know the way Was there any bit of a A song at the start or something? They do play tunes Out in the stadium right And then they have They have the kiss cam as well Do they do a national anthem? them is there like a performance? Oh yeah. Oh no not like a Lyra job now but like kind of like they had they just played the music.

35:39They have a Kill Fanora Kelly band come out at halftime. There's no R10. No no they're not coming out. Marching band. They don't come out. Do they do a kiss cam there? I always wonder with those whether or not they are set up like whether they clear it or whatever before in. They had yeah well it rotates you like kiss or hug or. Were you kissing the man with you? No. No, I was like, you better not come on toast now. Jumping in front of the camera. There's a thing that Ronaldo does as well. I don't know if you know this, but it's like when he gets a goal or something, he goes woo or something. Oh.

36:12I don't know. They all have a little... Oh, what the hell is that thing called? Little party piece. It's super famous anyway. Super Saiyan. I think it's from Dragon Ball Z thing. What are you saying? He jumps off. It's just a different language. Yeah. Basically he jumps up and he does this kind of Superman move when he scores or whatever. But there's a noise to it as well so it's kind of like a ho-hoo or something and they all were going off. Like they were all going off. Were you into it at that point? Did they all swap their tops then after? Oh for the love of God. Did they do that? Jesus, yeah.

36:45Did they do that? I didn't see them do that but there was definitely a few bellies on display throughout the game. Lovely. Should we kind of rubbing the sweat off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, you catch them. Can you imagine how many people, 80 ,000 people looking at you. All like, because you're, a lot of the time they're not doing anything. Like the ball is down the other side of the, there's a lot of, but there is a lot of the time they're not doing anything. A lot of the time they're not doing, there isn't a lot of standing around. But there's one ball and 50, how many? 50. How many men? 50, 30 men.

37:15No, there's 22. 22 men. Two lads and goals. So like a lot of the time you're not, not on the ball. Ah, you'd be on the ball a lot. You would. You'd think? Yeah. On the edges, the side ones I'd be like everyone's looking at me I need to how can I do you know you'd just be styling yourself yeah just looking around they definitely do a bit of the lifting up the shirt and a bit of the oh no they definitely they definitely do that they do it for like photographs and stuff as well to look great 100 % I'd be at that as well who's big in the Irish team who's Kelleher he saved the penalty it's his name right he did yeah yeah he's from he's from Cork isn't he I think so Yeah Yeah I know He did a really good job now To be fair Like And the Portuguese Goalkeeper Because we were on that side The first half He didn't need Fuck all to do Like there was He was out in the middle And all Like he was doing his nails He was having a burger Like there was just like At one point he was like Halfway through the pitch And I was like You're getting cocky now Like Do you know Because it was just so Always on God love the team Like it was just They were definitely Defending the whole game Do you know what I mean Which was probably a strategy to be fair and it did an amazing job I think anyway it wasn't their strategy but it was a strategy that's what happened what else have you been doing what else have I been doing I'm going back to Ireland actually at the end of the month oh yeah for two weeks going to go back for the jazz the jazz oh why haven't I the jazz why haven't I booked why hasn't Mark been asked back famous jazz musician well there's your chance okay we'll go over to that yeah we'll go over that what are you doing over there you're just going over there swanning around because of your TikTok fame no doubt right swanning around he's going swanning around I'd say you've never been back in Cork as much as you have in the past two months me doing lapses in the city just hoping someone recognises me would you do a bit of interviewing people on the jazz on the streets that'd be nice yeah I need to get a bit kind of ballsy with that sort of thing like I was in a random pub right when I was back the last time and it was like brew or something you know like a pub but that's just kind of not a popular one you know and these two girls were kind of looking at and I was up at the counter and I was like what's going on here now do you know it didn't even cross my mind they come over at the end they were like sorry are you the fella that does the tiktok?

39:41Oh they'd never know your name? No no no they'd be yeah well I've suffered an awful fate on this podcast the straight man? No just the straight one that's it and now it's turning now it's turning into a thing where they're just refusing to call me anything else. Yeah, yeah. No one knows my, they call me the one that sounds like Moira Rose. Moira Rose. That's what they say to me. My mother is fascinated by you as well. Absolutely. They're like, why does she talk like that? That's just how I tell her. She asks, she asks more about you when she fucking rings me than me. And he's just going, and the voice, the voice, I hear him on the radio.

40:17Dad has it on there on the radio in the car. And then we see him in the clips. we see him in the clip stand and you just you couldn't match up the voice sometimes whatever the fuck that means because they think I'm like an old woman yeah the one that does the TikToks and did they like it because sometimes they'll know they'll say like oh we know you but they won't say we like you they'll say the big man like they'll say like oh I know who you are but they won't give you the sometimes I get it here now right because we're super famous right especially if especially if you have a big clip right which we've had several right follow us on TikTok but you get to see see some guy like looking at you or whatever and then I have no idea if I'm accidentally like starting to cruise or not do you know what I mean I don't have any idea they're just trying to figure you out yeah but how do they know you a lot of people have said as well Dennis looks very different from different angles yeah and they don't know very either is it you yeah from certain angles people have intense intense opinions yeah yeah yeah but yeah I'm sure they'd love to see me from all different angles.