#45 Irish Family Meltdowns and Gay Cruises - w Joe Sutherland

0:00Well, because apparently on these swingers cruises, they actually commandeer some of the venues. the staff will set it up for them. They will fill the venue with mattresses and then the staff just do not enter. And what's the rules, I wonder? Welcome to this week's episode of Your Internet Boyfriends. Hello, Mark T. Cox. Hello, Dennis Lynn. This week we're talking about snogging on the tube, backdoor browsing and a meltdown in Specsavers. And we'll have our very special guest comedian, Joe Sutherland is here. What did you get me at the shop? We have a guest coming in, which means we have to put on a spread.

0:32Okay So I got loads of drink And then I thought Maybe he doesn't drink So then I got juice And Protein shakes But I don't think You're allowed to have one Until he arrives And we can see what he wants And then you can have Whatever's left Okay So it's the typical Party of any house Where you just get the leftovers And the guests get the chews You're going to wait Great Fantastic I was looking forward to that That's fine The lights are extra boiling today Can I make an announcement Go on I have a red nose Bye Mark, just in time for Christmas. Santa Claus been on to you. I have the most social week of my life coming up.

1:10Right. And I have a little red nose. Yeah. I think either it's like pimple or it could be sunburn. Yeah, a little windburn. Because yesterday I was doing a tour and it was a lovely day. And I, because if I have a crowd on a tour, I have to put them with their backs to the sun. So they're not blinded. So I'm staring into the sun for two hours and I think I got burnt. Maybe, Mark. Have you ever thought about that this is now your nose colour for the rest of your life? Have you thought about maybe you've just reached the age where, you know, some people's noses turn a different colour? Do away with myself.

1:46It's what's on the inside comes, Mark. Yeah. So, anyway, that's my trauma for the day. And how are you? Are you feeling good now that we've got a guest coming in as well that will attract even more listeners? Yeah, I can't wait and I have to go to an event tonight. I have an event tomorrow. I'm going to see Alison Spittel in Seoul Theatre tomorrow. And I'm going to launch a queer calendar in a couple of days. I'm going to see everyone the next couple of nights. Is this a, where would you rate this on spot on your neck if you ask what happened? It's the same level of stress. Yeah. So I hope this is going to be in black and white.

2:24Can we actually do that? Yeah, we can make it black and white. It's just termed black and white for any of the viewers on YouTube. do you remember when they went black and white into colour TV ah yeah the moment that they did it it'd be the reverse this is the bit where your nose goes from red to just normal a nice grey you're not grey anyway I'm delighted for you yeah fantastic this is great I'm not going to be the one to pick the podcast up this like I can't do it like as in so I was really hoping you'd come in charge but now you've got your nose problems I will now which you see when he comes in I'll be all action different man I was on a plane this morning yes I was swanning over in Ireland It was There was a man next to me And he You know when they brace against the seat Oh Hold Yeah like when they hold They're nearly holding onto their knee and stuff And I'm not a nervous flyer But that starts to panic me a slight bit Like he was pushing the seat in front of him When any sort of bump would happen at all Was it bumpy?

3:22It was actually a little bumpy Which is unexpected But then you could see the lad on my left he was starting to feed into the panic from the guy on the right yeah then it started then it was like a little bit of an odour thought that he may have evacuated himself with the nerves yeah yeah I was in the middle seat kind of over it do you know what I mean I was like you know what just go down the stage I'm over it what time was that flight that flight was it wasn't too early it was I don't know nine o 'clock half nine it's early enough yeah I had to leave at seven yes to get out the road the traffic was awful Do you know what The poor lads Going out Making their way To workplaces Just on the side Of the road Walking and stuff Or on little scooters And stuff But you know what Everyone has to find Their way home And everyone has to go to work But lads get a high-vis jacket Do you know I hate to be Sounding like that guy Visiting schools And turning his chair around And saying hey kids Light up at night But like seriously Put on a high-vis jacket I don't The amount of people That I go past Never saw him Oh yeah He could be gone in Under the car Never saw him God.

4:28Was it home? Was it nice? It was lovely. I went back for my sister's birthday. That's very close to the Christmas now. I'm not going home for Christmas. Oh, Mark. That was the visit. Do you know what my mother said to me? The breakfast, right? Now, bear in mind, right? I don't even have a son. Bear in mind. Who's my son, right? Bear in mind, I organised all of this. Okay. Organised the whole thing, right? She came over to me. Lisa's next to me. She came over and she said, I better come over and talk to you Because I probably won't see you For another 12 months Oh And then she came down And she said What are you doing for Christmas Mark She knew very well I wasn't coming home for Christmas And then I said Oh I'm not coming home for Christmas And she said So your poor mother Will be alone on Christmas Yeah She's not like I mean all my siblings are alone And she's going to my sister's And then You know I mightn't have many left Yeah yeah That'll be the last one now But you know what I noticed When I was back home And it was actually lovely Was the people Like I don't like I don't actually like using the word service, but you know, like the service back home.

5:28It's just the people working in those industries are just amazing. Yeah. I mean, especially amazing. Like there was a woman serving all of us breakfast and she was going over to the children and instead of saying the plate is hot, she was there, watch your little fingery-wingeries now. To you. To everyone. You'll burn the fingery-wingeries there now. And how are you this morning? Are you good? It's nice. Yeah, it was really, really nice. It was, it's just a, like, I mean, they just, they wouldn't even tell you the plate was hot over here you should just burn your ass oh yeah they'd throw it in your face lovely though that's a funny time now was it Christmassy?

6:03was it like a Christmassy lunch? kind of a yeah it was it was pretty Christmassy the tree up at home I'll tell you what no there was a couple of shiny frocks out yeah do you know a couple of shiny blouses glittery numbers yeah the New Year's Marks and Spencer blouses blouses were out yeah a solid all one cut all silver all gold yeah yeah yeah I love those yeah yeah so she was out And is the tree up at home? The tree is I don't know I wasn't there Oh you didn't go to the house? Oh you Where'd you stay? You didn't go to the house Mark I actually thought about this on the way here right? Didn't call to the house Will you shut You didn't call to the house They listened to this as well And you know my mother kept saying Oh my god I texted you this She was driving me up the walls going I'd love to meet your man I'd love to meet your man I'm her favourite now You know He's so funny Your man's so funny I was like You know what You actually would love to meet Mark He's your new son Yeah driven, demented.

6:55At another point, we were all sitting down and my brother made a joke and everyone laughed and my mother goes, he should have been the comedian. Oh. Oh. It's like, ah. But comedians are not funny day to day. No. I'm like, tell her I'm the most miserable damn thing. She doesn't believe it. He's lovely. The camera goes off. He's lovely now. A lovely voice. Yeah. But Mark, you know what I was thinking? Mary. Hello, Mary. Do you know what I was, hello, Mary. Mary Low Talk, Mary. She's loved this though. Do you know that I was thinking that I'm actually the voice on this podcast of the dysfunctional families, you know?

7:27That's the flag I'm flying. Do you think? Yeah. Yeah. You know, because you're saying you didn't even visit the house. That's a big deal now. I didn't call to the house. Where'd you stay? Staying with sisters. Okay. Yeah, yeah. That should be the side house. You wouldn't go see the house? No. Is it close? It's, I mean, relatively close. It's around Cork, do you know? Yeah. Sitting 20 minutes this way, half an hour that way. Whatever. That wouldn't do now. You know? That wouldn't do. Have you still a bedroom? No, bedroom was gone. The bedroom was lost when I moved to America and was pronounced figuratively dead.

7:57Cleared out. Binned. Wow. Yeah. So I came back to the new room. Okay. Do you still have a room in your house? Oh yes, Mark's room. You don't. Do you have posters up? No, do you know what we did? Because we modernised after I left. So all my stuff, because I had painted the ceiling of the bedroom brown.

8:24You are absolutely spoiled. You, the brown, Mark, that's horrendous. I had a brown ceiling and I had a cast iron headboard that I made my mother buy. And it was very, because I loved watching the interior design programs and I used to try and like copy them and do like a feature wall. I think I had a red wall for a while. So it was all very, it was all a bit mad. So they modernized. So it's kind of, kind of been just brought back to like just white and simple. Magnolia. Simple, yeah. But it's Mark's room. Where did you get the inspiration for the, like, can you remember the moment you taught yourself I'm going to paint the ceiling brown and also, how did that conversation go over with your parents?

9:02Oh, they thought it was great. She's very artistic. Oh, for God. There's no way in hell I wouldn't have to do that. I'm spoiled. Oh, yeah. He's very artistic. He's going to be an architect. He knows all about these things. I designed the garden. Have you heard about this? No. No, actually. I haven't heard about it. I designed the back garden. Oh, everyone in the world has heard Mark design the garden. I had done, I'd say about six weeks in UCD because I studied landscape architecture. And I came home thinking I was just, yeah. Oh, even better. Like, I don't know, Corbusier. Like I thought I was going to be the biggest thing on earth.

9:36So I designed the garden. And then my poor father had to build the garden and was digging and building walls and dragging muck. And like, you did none of the, no, I did nothing. You didn't do the landscaping. and my mother every time people come she's like Mark designed a beautiful garden and my poor father is there built with his bare hands broke his back for about six months Jesus Christ did you have a waterfall? there's no waterfall I used to make water features when I was smaller we used to have a big load of sand in the back garden and I used to stick a hose into it and let the water feature sculpt yeah very artistic yeah yeah very artistic so they your dad was the labour for your landscaping you painted the Seedling brown.

10:17Yeah. Sponge paint. Oh, that's... That was, yeah. That is absolute changing rooms if I've ever heard it. 24 hours to go. Did I ever tell you about Mary Sponge? No. Sorry, we've gone completely off. Doesn't matter who cares. Go on. There was a woman at home and she must have done a course about sponge paint. Have I not told you this? Oh, it's my favourite story. And she must have done a course about sponge painting. Do you know what that is? Yeah, yeah. Dipping a sponge into paint and putting it on the wall in funny textures. It was a big thing during like the changing rooms type deal, right? 1996, 1997.

10:49I won't say her name. Everyone knows who she is. But are you just calling her Mary Sponge? And then we called her Mary Sponge. And I didn't even know what her real name was. She was Mary Sponge. And she'd come in every house in the village. She'd do like a board. It was very nice. And she'd do like a little half. The lower half of the wall would be Sponge. And then the upper half would be a plain colour maybe. Mary Sponge. And did you get Mary Sponge in? I think we had Mary Sponge. Yeah, in the dining room we had Sponge. For a few years. Yeah, but I think I did my own Sponge. But I was inspired by Mary Sponge.

11:24Yeah. She was very glamorous. Is she still going? I'd say she might be. I don't know. I'd say she wouldn't have that much work now. We kind of moved on from the Sponge. Horrendous. But in Roses, you know, the bar in Dalston, there's a lot of sponge but subtle if you sponge a colour that's almost the same as the base colour you get like a nice little rough little texture well you know what if you look back at the 90s stuff and it can be it can be very like almost like Nickelodeon you know what I mean where it's like a lot of it can be a lot of blues yellows, oranges that kind of stuff swirls tie-dye all this kind of stuff but like I think we've strayed too far now because some of the stuff now like if you go into a lot of bars and restaurants they all look the exact same and it's just very like clinical and you know white and brown and a little bit of natural green but it's just a little bit fun In Dublin there's a there's a real scourge of chairs green green velvet chairs do you know them?

12:28With narrow metal legs Yeah Scraping along hard floors Scraping along Moving around Maybe a pink cushion then and a fake plant Would it be little kind of beads on them you know what I mean yeah did I ever tell you about the beads Mary beads no we had like an African inspired oh here we go here we go here we go go on kitchen feature for a while with these beads that were kind of hanging off the ceiling and you kind of have to go through them do you know oh yeah beads to go through a door they're like shopkeeper stuff yeah yeah they were I think they were the same time as Mary sponge same colour palette orange and terracotta very nice it's very making an entrance type thing with those beads isn't it yeah you have to shoo them away a little bit we need more beads we need more no we don't decoration everything's very plain and just bland I'd say I draw the line at the beads or the butcher's kind of flaps you'd be coming with two plates of dinner and you get caught up in the beads yeah and your potatoes are caught into the kitchen behind you like the beads nothing very practical yeah what have you been doing for the weekend I was trying to organise myself I've got a bit of a ticking I'm actually having a breakdown now thinking about it I have a very the next three weeks are just kind of torture So Amar Very good fun thank you everyone Just want to say there's three cameras on you at the moment right and you look like it's all over I'm just literally thinking about every day is different I've no bit of a routine and I'm going loads of different places and there's loads of different people and I have to wear different blouses and I have to pack a bag it's just I'm going around with tote bags that's my December full of tinsel and shite and pianos and it's just a lot of going but I've loads of shows and they're sold out very well so I'm very happy about that nice so I need to stop complaining it's just a bit of bit of organising and did you do anything you enjoyed over the weekend?

14:30what did I do? oh I put up a tree oh lovely I went shopping very nice spent a fortune with my friend and I was a big strong man and I carried the tree down the road real tree? yeah real tree about 6 foot heavy enough oh yeah big strong man and then we got kind of halfway to the house and struggling and I was a bit toxic and I didn't want to give in did you have it over the shoulder? I had it under the arm oh wow digging into the hips and I struggled on but I was not really strong enough did you make it home? we made it home yeah absolutely flat erm but we did a great job yeah did you decorate when you got home we did yeah yeah lots of decorations and how was the tree and we pull up the tree then perfect tell me something else so at the weekend I you know because I've lived away for a little bit now right so it's getting a little bit more weird when I go back because I'm like starting to notice stuff whatever but like you know my family are you know continuing on with their lives together and stuff and in London you get very you get London brain right like it's exactly what we're talking about you know you go in flying into Specsavers going I want my lenses you know what I mean so I have to kind of calm that down when I go home but at the same time like trying to get my family to like just I don't know go in and have lunch together cats mad cats running around Kenmare like you just couldn't get them to do anything and Lisa was with me and I think you'll agree with this Lisa was with me and at times I think Lisa was saying like why can't we just all stop now for a minute and decide where we're going.

16:08And I was like saying, no, no, what you actually have to do is you have to, it almost appears rude, but what you have to do is I'm going over to Murphy's and just go for the door. Fuck you all. You know, I'm going to Murphy's, I'm going over there and then they'll just follow you in. Okay. Do you know what I mean? Because if you keep talking about it, like at one point we decided where we were going and then as we're going, there's just, like there's about 15 of us. There's like, there's a discussion going on behind us about where we're going, why we're going there when we've already decided. This is for the birthday?

16:38No, this is just, this is like for lunch the next day. The birthday was sorted. We sorted the dinner, we did everything, we got it all done. But the next day, like, we couldn't get them to go. Like, who's the... I organize it. Are you in charge? Yeah, I was in charge because it was the person who's usually in charge's birthday. Oh, yeah. So then I filled in as lieutenant and got it done. But one of the best things was, was like, the accents are absolutely wild. Like, you really miss them. Like, even in London, right, you're obviously going to hear different accents. But for, to be honest, like, even the different accents are kind of paired into a...

17:09Give us a taste then. I'll be, hello, can we, we're 15 people, can we come in for dinner? And who booked you in? Do you know you get a question like that? What the hell does that mean? I went up to get the keys, right? We had seven rooms. I went up and I rang a doorbell. Your man is inside the bar, right? His arse is at the window. He wouldn't turn around. So I went into the bar and I said, can we get booked in there? And he goes, tell me what you need. He goes, tell me what you need. And I said, I need the rooms. like that I've booked? I didn't know what the question meant. And then he had written down on his notepad my name seven times.

17:41I could see it. And I was like, can I have the keys to those? And of course we had like, you know, there's kids there and there's couples and stuff and family rooms and all this stuff. So I just said, can I have, can I have the keys there? Whatever. And he goes, what rooms have you booked? I said, I don't really know offhand like whatever we're down for. Like, and he handed me seven keys and he goes, he goes, this is the double room and these are multiple beds. He just gave me all the keys. Off you go. Didn't know where I was going. That's exciting. Do you run around then like... Oh, sure. I was absolute bedlam.

18:13Absolute bedlam. Like people trying to pick up rooms and stuff and go in here and go in there. This was a bigger... This was a... This wasn't going away. It was an event. It was a big event. But we got it done, but it was lovely. But the accents are just phenomenal. But Lisa, as you know, has a lovely English accent, right? And my nephew is seven. Right And he loves chatting Just chatting, chatting, chatting But he was talking about A castle at one point But had been previously Talking to Lisa For like the last 20 minutes And then at the dinner table Said that He's going to visit A castle Oh no And silence At the dinner table At poor little Well he's I won't name him But poor little boy Yeah Now suddenly sounding like He's from A Brit A Brit But like you know A posh one as well Uh oh The castle Out the door.

19:04But then it started, my Irish accent started going bananas over there. Yeah. Like really started ramping up. I have a few friends, Irish friends, who have settled in London and now they have small little English children. That's a strange place. Very funny. Because they pick it up at school. So they have a bit of an Irish accent at home and then they get to three or four and they go to school and they have a little English child. You're like, oh my God, my child is a different, whole different. That's why Cillian Murphy said he moved home. Do you think? No, I think he said that I don't know I think he said that That like, you know One of the reasons That he moved home was I feel like I don't know what it would take For me To adopt An English accent I think it's so Bizarre Like It doesn't But you don't You don't Your Claire accent Pops out every now and then Yeah It's not like full blown Claire, right?

19:52Yeah But it's not English No, it's not It's kind of like a softened God So she's not allowed To come back anymore No, she's banned Don't let her near those children. And then... Did she like... Had she met that many of them before? She hadn't met... She had met them briefly. She hadn't met... My brother was there as well and my brother is... Like he'll hold court and stuff. But you know what kept happening, Mark, right? As is happening right now. Is I'd start talking and they'd just stop listening to me.

20:23I've listened to it. I had a bit of dust. The man's just cleaning his jumper as we're on a podcast. I had a bit of dust on my blouse. Honestly, God, stop. the feedback I get from this guy sometimes. Am I very bad? Do you know what it is? Because when I'm talking... No, go on. Go on. When I'm talking, I know the camera is looking at me. So I have to look nice. We had... And then when you're talking, I'm like, well, the camera's probably not on me now. So I can scratch myself. We had a complaint from our editing team as well. Our editing team were making clips of our lovely podcast during the week.

21:00But they were struggling to find any sort of happy reaction of Mark when he wasn't talking. Because I switch off. I'm like, well, now I can have a sub of my tea. Or I can scratch myself. Who's that man over there in the microphone? Because I know it goes on to you. I don't know. Or do you feel left out now? No, I don't feel left out. Oh, what have we unlocked here? No, no, I didn't feel left out. But it's just this thing. When you're in an Irish family, everyone's having a different conversation. No one's listening to anyone. and you just get cut off, it's actually weird. Like, the thing is, you get acid enthusiasm, and they go, oh, you have the gig on in Pleasant Snow, do you?

21:39Yeah, yeah, it's booked there. And then someone goes, look at the funny cat outside. Yeah. It's just gone. And do you barge in again with this? No, I give up. I go absolutely silent. I don't compete. I just go, that's it. Like, a few times, Lisa turned to me and held my hand, because she was just like, it's okay. But I don't think they even kind of know the difference as well of, like, us doing Pleasance and it being half sold out is huge. That's a massive thing. But I don't think they would know the difference between sure you're doing gigs all the time. No they don't. My mother said to me I thought she was going to finally, finally pay me a compliment.

22:18And she said do you know actually about the podcast she's saying the podcast she's like the podcast, the podcast about the podcast I was talking to someone during the week and they said they listen to podcasts oh and I was like what and I was like oh my podcast and they were like no no no they listen to podcasts as well it's not great apparently they're the new thing very big I think we're on to something good there was some neighbour at home thought I was a West End they thought I was a lead in a West End musical I'd say you did nothing but they weren't even that even if I was they weren't really that impressed like I don't know what it would take Do you know what they'd love?

23:01If you owned a petrol station Do you think? If you owned a petrol station Out a motorway Big news I think they'd love If you got on the Late Late Show Yeah that's a big one I really think That's the only thing That matters in Ireland Did I tell you that My mother told me To send my CV Into the Late Late Show Yeah Well She's not wrong And would you Would you ever think about Sending the CV Into the Late Late Show Yeah Think about it Yeah Could happen Just call them Just email them Just ring them up say I'm very funny and I'd like to do it yeah I think we might have a special friend we do have a special friend coming in nearly here we should probably powder our noses shut up

23:45I have a red nose Joe and I just need to say it I have a continual issue actually of my nose goes dry it flakes off and then what comes yeah yeah the whole thing but then I regrow a new one and then it's red for two days and then it's dry and flakes off again what's this winter or what is this I don't know it's some puberty maybe yeah you're going through it I'm Jew I think so I'm Jew I'm very bothered and upset about it and I just need I'm just going to announce it to everybody you're actually properly off what do you mean like you're properly off oh I'm thrown but should we have an attractive guest I'll tell you I'll tell you just one quick thing that's helped with the redness flare-up that I stumbled upon is a pomegranate-based sheet mask.

24:32Okay. So I don't know why. Maybe it's red plus red. Yeah. Two reds make a pale pasty white. It just reddens up the rest of your face. Maybe it's that. I thought I got sunburned, but it wouldn't make sense because it's just on top of my nose. I'm very upset, and I'm going to cancel all my work for the next three weeks. Can we have a drink? Oh, yeah. I don't know do you drink alcohol? Oh sure So you have do you want to have a little look? You have some Pinot Fizz Pinot Fizz in a can In a can I will say And there is Only the best I think there's a vodka or something and there's a rum or I got you a little protein shake because I know you're you're on the gains True I am also lactose intolerant Oh that's good Fuck that in the bin You can have that Oh great So what's happening here is I have to wait for you to pick You pick a little And then I get whatever's left You pick a little tinny And then Dennis can have the scraps What you want Can I take the vodka please Do you know how much they are What is this Marks and Spencers I'm going to say No no no Well I know you can get three for eight pounds That was£1.65 What No that's not M &S then is it No it's Sainsbury's Oh they're really coming in on that branding aren't they it's that it's that I would have gone M &S but I was too busy that was cheaper than the water isn't that shocking because I don't drink so I never buy these things I thought it would be like$4.50 is it horrible no no it smells fine we deserve well I have the gains will you pass me the gains I can't reach that far I was shocked because I never buy a drink and I always feel like I don't know a bit giddy I thought stuff had to be like a certain price now no was that a thing it feels well maybe that's why it's quite small I feel like they used to be bigger and now it's for a child.

26:27Drinks for children. We haven't even said your name. This is Joe Sutherland, everybody. Very famous, very important, international, comedian, actor. What else? Dancer, performer. No, I'd like to say could have been a dancer. Yeah. Chose otherwise. Yeah. And a gal about town. Yeah. I'm working on, yeah, I'm working on It Girl. society maven, perhaps. Around the town. Will you tell us about the funny job that you just did? That you just came back from? Because I'm very excited. So I've just come back from an Atlantis gay cruise in Southeast Asia. I actually landed this morning at 6.40am. Thank you for being here.

27:11That's quite all right. Dennis is a heterosexual man. Yes. Congratulations. Thank you. Could you describe to the heterosexual listeners the scale of this homosexual cruise. So I presume we're all aware of the concept of a cruise ship. Yeah. It's a rather large vessel in the middle of the ocean. Sort of a townstead. Yeah, like larger than a village, smaller than a city. How many? What's the population? Well, this one was, I suppose there were about 2 ,000 guests and then you get about a thousand staff who live on board. Some are much bigger. They do these ones in January, February around the Gulf of Mexico.

27:55Yeah, I still call it that. Very progressive. Which are 5 ,000 guests. I'd say the largest I think I've done was 3 ,500. Good God. And the gender balance there? Balance is generous. The gender mix there, Joe? I'd say we're talking about thousands of queer men and tens of women upon this vessel. Are they wearing clothes, Joe? Rarely. No, I tell you what, it's always delightful. So, yeah, so it's a big party vibe. It's many a gay or queer man. And there's big late night parties. There's also lovely afternoon parties. There's a lot of shagging going around. and so generally the uniform is as little as possible but for except for when it comes to your sort of evening dinner and a show time slot watching all of these gay men change into their sort of evening shirt and chino shorts is truly delightful because then you there will also be some who are just still cracked out from their afternoon session they're like oh but i must catch patty lapone and so they turn up in a harness and a kilt or a thong and their eyes are falling yeah but they're still getting up and giving her a standing ovation with everyone else so what's the atmosphere like let's say if you're walking around just the decks like is it is it a is it a is it a little bit of a free-for-all is it like is there stuff happening everywhere is it behind closed doors so i went on i met two women on a previous cruise who were in their middle age in their late 50s, early 60s, who were very used to going on swingers cruises, largely heterosexual swingers cruises.

29:44And this was their first time on a gay boy cruise. And they came to me and they said, this is the most vanilla cruise we have ever attended. She wanted more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because people were so, people had such decorum that they would perhaps take someone back to their cabin. Okay. But I said to her, I was like, But you can see blowjobs on the dance floor. And she was like, that's nothing. She wants the whole show. Yeah. Well, because apparently on these swingers cruises, they actually commandeer some of the venues where they will, the staff will set it up for them. They will fill the venue with mattresses and then the staff just do not enter other than perhaps like small time slots to do a bit of a cleanup.

30:26And what's the rules, I wonder? Do they have a license? Open water, baby. Yeah. There are no rules. There's no rules. Oh my God. That sounds... Except for some rules. Has to be some rules. There's probably a few rules. A couple of rules. Well, I don't know. I saw people mixing French fries with mashed potato on the same plate. So I think it's truly... Throw them overboard. How long were you there? This was a 12-day affair. That's quite long. Okay. Oh, is that long? Does everyone stay on for 12 days? Yeah. Well, you know, you're going into port and there are sort of, you know, excursion days. but well like 12 12 days it does uh does everyone does everyone interact with it in i mean i'm assuming the answer is no but does everyone interact with it in the same way you know like is it is it like a is it a is there some people there to see the sites that's a very good question um and this is what when some of my friends or people sort of cringe at the idea and say oh that sounds really trashy or whatever i point out i say no it's a choose your own adventure and you can do exactly that.

31:31Some of the most delightful people I've met are older lesbian couples who you see them around in the day and you see them doing all the excursions. You see them at the restaurants, but you never see them at the parties or anything. And so you chat to them when you're sat on the bus going to an excursion. So why are you here? Why are you doing this one? And they say, well, we tried the lesbian cruises, but they were too boring. We just like the atmosphere that you boys bring. So we come because we like the sights. You know, we know that we wanted to go to Athens, so we picked this one. And, you know, it's nice to see you boys having fun.