#87 Would You Go to a Naked Barber?

21:08Denis:Do you want me to slightly introduce it and go like, does anyone play that grand piano? That could work, yeah. And then you hop on. And I'll say, oh, no, I couldn't possibly, this is not about me. Yeah. and then we'll get you over to play it. And then I'll do two numbers. Have you decided a song? I have two numbers. Oh, have you decided a song? In the pocket. Of course they need it. What are you going to sing? No, it's a secret. It's a surprise. Okay, well, you'll hear it in the bonus episode I don't know, maybe a week after anyway, at some point. I think that'll be nice. And then we can just stay there and have a chat and mix and mingle.

21:41It's a lovely little list of people. I've been looking at the bookings. Are you arranging them? Yeah, they were very good they booked in their little groups so I can see who's who lovely and we'll scatter them around

21:55Denis:and just completely off topic now we've been in the episode probably about 20 minutes at this stage and you still haven't brought up my haircut oh it's fresh how could you not bring up my haircut but it's very Declan Kelly's been here about 6 hours he never said anything not a word no I know Declan Kelly's getting a lot today but he's been here 6 hours he hasn't said a word you didn't even notice well it's very settled what do you mean like we've what the fuck does that mean as in it looks great Jesus Christ if Lisa came home and she's ever getting hair done it's very settled it looks because we're gone away from the my head's been fucking scalped and I look like I've had a haircut yeah the good haircut doesn't look like you've had a haircut alright okay so I'd say actually me not saying anything is a huge tell me look a huge a huge compliments.

22:47Compliments to the... Give us a turn. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very slick. What do they call it?

22:54Denis:I don't know. I have no idea. It's hair. The mini mullet. Back more? Yeah, so it's been an ongoing project now. I've been working with Maya. Oh. Out in Breathe Barbers. Oh. Yeah, I have. I wish you hadn't seen her. It's great. Hello to Maya. I was out there yesterday and I rocked in. Yeah. and the jaw dropped when she saw my hair she was like oh my god that's long and it was long it didn't even look as long on the podcast it was crazy long and I had these little like kind of mullet-y bangs out the back the twists right which are still there but I popped into the chair now this is a little bit of conflict that's happening at this point I popped into the chair and there was another girl working with her and I said oh look you know we're trying to grow the hair out long you did a great job first but Lisa wants to get rid of the little furry lads at the back.

23:45Denis:The curl. The little mullet-y bit. I like them. Yeah. And Maya basically said I'm not cutting your hair if I have to cut those off. Oh? She said I'm pulling the foot down. She said they're everything. So she refused. Everything. And I was delighted. I was delighted. She's dead right. Yeah. I'm a sucker for a compliment though so. Yeah. And I said fine. I said I'll report back. They can't be cut off. So she just trimmed them a little bit and here we are. Okay. I like that peekaboo. Yeah I do too. I'm not going to get my hair cut now for like another six months. You're saying fortune too. No you do.

24:17Denis:You do say fortune. I'm gone now. I'm pushing it three weeks, four weeks. Oh wow. I used to go every two weeks. You used to be popping in every morning before work. Every ten days. The place has gone mad. It's falling around. Yeah I like that. I have this one. Peek-a-boo. Yeah yeah. Little curl coming out here and it just says have a look around the back. Do you know what I mean? There's something else to see. There is yeah. I think that's what it says. and what's the product routine have you had to change grow and there's not much product routine to be honest yeah the only thing Lisa said to me was oh it's it's fair it's shinier than usual and she said you know and now you just have to you just have to style it more yeah and I was like what do you mean because I'm not styling it I'm just a very busy man is there a blow dry there's no blow dry you just throw it back I remember an ex of mine rang a hairdresser as before and asked could she be fitted in for a curly blowjob at one point no blowjob so you have the kink in it what's the kink you have the kink in it there's a bit of a kink to it where my hair yeah yeah there's a little wave to it oh yeah yeah mine is very straight this is all fake I have to twist and turn and make it curly Maya actually asked me she said has Mark been like talking about your hair yeah and I said no because Mark is actually experiencing his own hair moment that's right currently and there wouldn't really be that much room for that it's more of a self-appreciation kind of thing that's right yeah which is proven today because we're 20 minutes in he didn't even notice that's right I have to tell you about a barber maybe after the break because it's a long story well after the break I'm going to do you a little treat we're going to I'm going to bring you through have you ever heard of the writer Dolly Alderton no Dolly Alderton is a big hit especially with millennial women I think she's got about half a million followers she's a writer oh she's a big deal right but she's written some very very popular books and Lisa was reading one of these on holidays oh and I happened to pick it up and give it a read and it gives a good insight into women so there's a thing in there and it's something along the lines of like 20 things you need to know as a woman and I want to see if you resonate with any of these things oh if I know them.

26:40Denis:Yeah. I'm going to give you a little test. Don't do a break now. Yeah, let's go for a little break. Hello. If you're listening on Spotify, if you wouldn't mind to hit the button there to give us a five star review and follow. Thank you very much. We're back. I'm caught. What are you doing? Mid movement here. It's fairly depressing outside, Mark. I have to say. What's wrong? It's got the old gray evenings in. Do you know what I saw coming here? What? I Often think What What could be next As I move through This city of London What do you mean What could be next What could be the next Spectacle That I am going to Come into There was a man God bless him In a very Upside down state On that road As I got off the bus Fucking Screaming shouting running around running like into the traffic running around the street and then lying down on the street in front of buses and shouting and saying I've been knocked down pretending and then getting up again and running around and everyone just like just kind of like looking like this is going to go very well why didn't you say hello to me?

28:00I said will you get in and put on the blouse get into there Fucked to you I'm not wearing the fucking blouse Fuck off Thrown down in front of a bus I couldn't But the reaction of people Like I don't know Just kind of And I did the same I was like You lit down as well God that's mad I wonder will someone Call the police Let's go now I must get the meatballs In Ikea I have to go It's only here A minute before I came in The door here Jesus Outside here What here? Yeah Oh lord On the bus Outside the bus there Oh no.

28:34Denis:Wild. Wait, wait, before you go there, it just reminded me of something. I was with a friend of mine in America in Dorchester, in Boston, right? In Dorchester, at the time anyway, it could be a fairly hairy experience around some of those places, right? It's a cool neighborhood, but it can be pretty hairy some places. But he said he wanted to take me to his favorite pizza joint. So he rang ahead and we ordered some pizzas. And we went in there and there was a woman and she was collapsed on the floor. didn't know if she was like dead wasn't too sure there was people around there attending to her and there was like an ambulance on the way and I think there might have been some sort of doctor or something there right but we were waiting there anyway and then we hear Matt pepperoni pizza she was starving her?

29:23Denis:no she's down the ground oh she's dead we hear Matt pepperoni pizza she's down the ground in front of the counter and my friend Matt just automatically steps over her. Oh yeah. And gets the pizza. Oh yeah. And goes back out. Yeah. I was like, she could have been fucking dead. They don't care. Just walked over. People dead in the street all the time. They were only pizza, Matt. Yeah. Woman dead. 34. Gone. Sorry, you were saying. Very bad. That's all I was saying, really. But it's really, it's a whirlwind. It is a whirlwind. Out there. But then I had a lovely, I came across something very exciting.

29:58The other day, I was doing a tour and I ended up in Soho Square and there was a commotion. And there was a gathering and it's usually when there's a commotion in Soho Square it's often a TikTok person has done a drop. I've talked about this before. And you get these fucking But we sound like 90 year olds

30:19Denis:when you talk about it. It's so funny. But they do because I don't know I don't know who they are but they're like here I am and every teenager in the country seems to arrive and there's a big stampede of people. But I heard a commotion and I said, I'll just go and take a look. And what did I walk into? Only the Tom Holland lookalike competition.

30:42My God. Was it nice? Just, do you know what? Part of me just, if I only knew when I was 22, how to be a ride. Mark, you act like you've lost out.

31:06Denis:You have... Well... How do I say it? You've... What? You could stop now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'd have your fill. Do you know what I mean? But there's always... You always missed out. I know, but maybe it was better to start later. Do you think? Because you'd be burnt out at this stage. Yeah Do you know what I mean? Just So fresh They all had long hair Kind of Bit like you Yeah I know They've all got the style It's a new thing But it was very funny And a lot A lot of screaming A lot of shouting Was there any Spider-Men? There was a few Spider-Men There was a few Kind of like A Spider-Man And then I'm going to take Off the Spider-Man mask And I'm sexy And reveal that I'm sexy Yeah Was it a lot of LGBTs You think?

31:55A lot of my sexualities Oh okay fair A lot of bisexuality in Soho Square Generally There's a Gen Z Early 20s, mid 20s Bisexual Community out there That's fantastic to see it

32:11Denis:Do you know I had a conversation I was shopping along With famed stylist Alistair James And we're going into all these little vintage stores everywhere And I think people thought we were A fantastic looking couple Which was nice Are you dead out there? something I never really thought about but I assume yes in that arrangement in that arrangement yes I assume so but we had a lovely little time walking around there but we had this conversation actually about younger generations I don't have a fucking clue of the answer to this right I'm just kind of pondering it yeah but younger generations having a kind of a similar but different experience of maybe coming out so like in your generation, coming out would have been harder, so people didn't talk about it.

33:02Denis:But no, I think there's kind of almost a nice version of that, where coming out is hopefully easier, but people don't talk about it. Do you know what I mean? Like, when you have, from my experience, when you have people from the LGBT community in your own family, people don't, like, kind of shine a light in it as much anymore. It's kind of like, yeah, let them kind of mosey along, figure things out. Does that make sense? there might yeah yeah there mightn't be the need there isn't like I'm not saying this is everyone's experience I'm sure some people have a terrible time coming up etc etc etc I've said it there's a disclaimer but like there's kind of maybe a nicer thing for some people where it's like oh yeah you know they're we're not sure yeah you know like and let them let them off I think a load of people it's just not as concrete as before as well people are not really sure what they are and they're like here's my boyfriend oh here's my girlfriend now and or here's all my friends they're all boys and girls we're all like hanging out together I don't know is there such a big for some people there's an awful lot of more queer bisexual pansexual behaviour so they're not especially in the Tom Holland Spider-Verse in that particular scene there was a huge field full of people in their 20s and any one of them could be gay or straight or bisexual and you wouldn't be shocked.

34:28It's kind of like a bit vaguer about how you're even meant to be or look.

34:33Denis:When you come into a scene like that, do you feel like kind of like a lion out in Serengeti? No. I brought my tour. It was me and my tour, my LGBTs. And you said, hold on here a minute. I was like, come on, let's go and see what it is. And we were trying to guess. I had guessed because I knew. What would you guess? If you saw a crowd of screaming people in Soho Square and you know it's a place for lookalike competitions this week, what would you have guessed? Who it might be? Yeah. I was trying to guess. Who could it be? Maybe Lord of Madonnas? Could have been Lord of Madonnas. Yeah. Oh.

35:19What?

35:23Lord of Menace

35:28like imagine actual Madonna not the drag queen Madonna from the 80s that'd be so fun like actually women her age

35:39Denis:I came across the Pitbull concert I'll tell you that there was a fucking million Pitbulls walking around the place huge with the LGBT huge with the lesbian community Pitbull there was a load of yeah yeah yeah a load of lesbians actually I don't know what the hell yeah so who wait now who else would you guess oh this week lookalike competition this week I don't know what's after happening I thought it would be Troy Savan Troy because it's usually like I don't know who ever gets that hyped it's hyping something like there's a new movie or there's a I watched an interview with Troy Savan oh yeah do you like him yeah I was going to send it on to you but then I forgot I watched an interview where he was talking kind of about the the annoying and painful experience of dealing with a straight man oh who might be dipping his toe in the water a bit and then pulling back and not being gay after all oh and kind of refusing to acknowledge that it's kind of gay interesting yeah and that's some of his songs are about that on the new album i think yeah yeah yeah he's great he was at the vmas last night yeah did he win anything no i don't know if i didn't catch up yet he was there with madonna and jerry xx in a little gang well then she must and all about the song being used that's right wait i want to go back to something so we were mentioning um spider-man and all this kind of stuff right yeah is there any costume that you would be into so romantically yeah so to give you an example someone i know is into their partner dressing up as a rabbit oh so it doesn't necessarily have to be a comic character it can be anything.

37:20Denis:What do you think about the rabbit thing? It wouldn't be. No. No? I'd have no interest there. In anything? Not in a rabbit's no. No. Not in a rabbit's no. But are you thinking about like anatomically correct kind of like viscerally like a rabbit or are you thinking like little tail? What about a twunk, right? And he's got a little bunny tail. I have seen it. Yeah? I have seen it. Not for you. Where did you see that? I have seen Tonki's dressed as rabbits. I have seen that. Yeah, running her own soul. I'll tell you what gets me going. Go on. I have seen a Spider-Man who was quite the piece. Did you see Just May?

38:05No. Dressed as Spider-Man?

38:06Denis:No. Oh. I don't think so. She's every curve and... Was this at Comic-Con? Yes. Ah, I did see this. She's a full-breasted woman, our Just May. and she got a suit I don't know where she got this and it's perfectly matched well the womanly curves I don't want to be objectifying the woman though so I'll leave that to you you should she'd love that she'd love that she'd love that and she got a huge amount of attention from that new business yeah come on now have you won I can't think did you have any won not that kind of what are the classic ones in the gay world? This is an interesting question. So the classic ones in the straight man world or the straight woman world straight man world would be French maid I know.

39:00Denis:The tickler. The tickler? I don't know what the tickler. With the fuzzy feathers. It's more about the French maid costume rather than the tickling of the duster I think. French maid costume, nurse playboy bunny, actual rabbit, those kind of things. Do you have any, like... The rabbits. And then the other side would be, like, fireman, pilot, you know, that kind of stuff. Declan Kelly there suggesting that gas mask is the community's favourite. Or what about, remember in the plague? Do you remember the fellas with the big... Oh my lord. The big beak. How about that? Imagine that turning around looking at you.

39:41What would they like? They'd love They'd love a bit of an army thing A bit of a soldier

39:48Denis:A camp soldier? Or like a Oh do you know what they'd love? A camp leader That kind of thing With tiny shorts Tiny shorts And a little hat Camp leader? Do you know that kind of thing? What's the hat? Do you know like the little hat Like a little forest ranger Kind of a thing Oh a Mountie A lumberjack A lumberjack With a big axe A big bear

40:15Denis:Policeman Lumberjack policeman swaps Yeah, policeman is definitely Plumber, electrician Mechanic, big tool Mechanic's a good one for women as well Any of that, really Yeah A lot of them are just Their suggestion is flying over here from a hyperactive Just hot, a leathery man And a leathery biker Anything hot A lot of these are kind of fitting into the Everyday things you know the like the kind of classic gay there was a lot Ariana Grande I keep saying it Ariana Grande bunny ears for a long time that was quite a that was quite a with the gays quite a scourge one flopped down and one flopped up one up one flopped down two up and quite a scourge that was quite what do you mean where are they wearing that she had she had like no but where where were they for Halloween okay they put it on I have nothing planned No wait Forget about Halloween A second Wait So what's your I have no idea You never picked You don't have anyone As a little As a little fantasy Like maybe Very tricky territories here Balaclava Oh lord Someone just said Balaclava A kneecap Balaclava That'll get a lot of people going Tricolour Balaclava That'll get a lot of people going Nothing else.

41:41Come on. You must have something. I was going to make a little joke there. You're dressed like an orange man. It's a very sensitive topic. They were marching. They were marching the other day. Oh, up and down the road. I did see, I won't get into it now. Please don't. Very sensitive topic. But I did see one funny little video of the orange men coming down the hill marching. And then they had to turn around and march back up the hill. But it was set to that funny music. little little little very good oh like Benny Hillstone very good I like that there was only about

42:12Denis:20 of them a little march 35 35 yeah 35 men they went down a place they're not normally meant to go down because of you know it's another little place they shouldn't be marching but there was 35 of them a lot go down it was pissing around up and down the road anyway Mark I can't think you don't have anything I don't know what's coming to my mind have you ever dressed up as something I've only been nonsense my highlight was I dressed up as Florence from Florence and the Machine and I was an alcoholic and I broke a bus stop.

42:44Denis:That tracks. The full white dress. I suppose it was. A floaty number, long red wig, destroyed. And I, it was outside UCD, the bus stop, and I had a little drink. And I was leaning against the bus stop. I should have got money. I should have sued. And the bus stop broke the glass. Panel of the bus stop. smashed and I smashed back destroyed. I smashed back. I broke it. But sure, it shouldn't have broke. Fuck, and you went through it? Dressed as Florence and the Misha and then off into it. Did the next stage you give up drinking? Soon enough. Fairly soon. After that. Into town then, into war, I think, or one of those clubs.

43:29Jesus. I had a wonderful time.

43:31Denis:My God. That was the highlight. I'll show you the pictures of that. I also dressed as a nun in my first year of college and ran around for weeks. Kept doing it. As a nun. I loved it. For no reason. Yeah, well for Halloween and then I dragged it out. What would you be doing? Into December kind of. Just drinking wine and dressed as a nun. Going around campus. Great old times. They were great old times. You know, I was thinking today how much harder this whole podcast would be if you drank. Oh, there'd be no show. No, I don't mean that. I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here An empty seat every week I'd be texting like I'm so sorry Do you know those people No I didn't mean it like that I'd be at home in bed Crying Side in the bush No ice That's not what I meant I meant like if we drank at a normal level The two of us Oh Oh my god it'd be a mess I couldn't do it It'd be a fucking mess I don't know how people do it Be dying yeah trying to perform amount of people who perform and have like four or five drinks before that's a slippery slope fuck that's a slippery slope you'd see a fella you'd see fellas there in comedy and go I have a pint there now before I go on and he's on his fifth night before he goes on stage yeah you need a little bit of kind of the door locked a little bit on that stuff I don't think you should I don't think any job should rely on you needing to have a drink.

45:05No. I think if you're good, I'm going to say it.

45:07Denis:Unless you work in the passport office, I think you should be low drink as much as you want. If you're a comedian and you say you need a little drink to get on the stage, I agree. I want to say... Do you know what? Just from a caretaking point of view, it's not good. You don't need to do it. You don't need to do it. Anyway, before we start... Show me your book. No, I'll show you my book in a minute. You mentioned the naked barber to me. Oh, sorry. Will I do that in the bonus? No, no. I want to hear what this is. Well, I don't know what to say. Why? I won't say the name. Should I say the name? Anyway.

45:45Denis:Say the name at the end when you see how you've treated it. How about that? Well, I just don't know how I... I don't know what to say. I don't know what it is. But there's a barber... People will know. There's a very famous barber in East London. Yeah. Celebrity barber who has changed careers a little bit and is now offering barbering services without the clothes. Who? Everyone. The whole lot. So you're going to put no clothes on? Yeah. I wouldn't fancy that. The fucking scissors clipping around. Fucking have you dropped the scissors. I suppose it's a bit. There's a lot if you were to go into Declan Kelly's phone or my phone and if you scrolled along enough you'd find videos there of barbers brushing up a bit too close you make the most hilarious normal things erotic rubbing it see rubbing into the into the side of you but not mentioning a word about us there's a lot of them do it there's a lot of them do it dirty things and that reminds me I need to book back into Shorty's hello to Derek big D it's a bit of a thing that goes on and it's outrageous are you saying this actually happens I'm saying that actually happens of course but how can like do you do you tick a box beforehand no no no hairstyle and a horn is that like what no no it's just a vibe it's just a bit of a vibe it's just men just being pigs but and we all play along But Why not go further And actually say Do you know what Here we go And I'd say it's more To be fair It's more like A naturist Naturalist thing Like you just want to Be naked And just hang out And have a little Have an hour What do we do for you today Three back and sides there And trim on top Isn't that wild Would you go No probably wouldn't go No I probably wouldn't go You wouldn't want that I wouldn't really enjoy that.

47:56Denis:There was a woman back in the day, a fairly famous barber, who had a massive clientele in the town. Because you'd go into her and the old tatas might be pushed up against you big time. Rub it all over you. Stop that. In Cork? They'd be flying around you. Okay. And I could never figure out whether or not it was a deliberate marketing scheme or not. She's dead right. Yeah. But it definitely happens. But like, I just imagine, like, are other people waiting as well? I'll see. I'll see. I don't know if there are any of that. No, I don't know if there are any of that. I don't think there's any of that.

48:51Oh, come on.

48:51Denis:It's one step away. I don't know. I don't think so Is there a little bit of fucking like A little bit of light Actually someone complained that we were swearing So much on one of those episodes Who? I don't know Someone said we were swearing awfully Anyway Wait I just Because I'm picturing like I'd love if it was actually like this I would actually support it If the two people are sitting there They've both got horns One lad's sitting there with a horn They've both got horns but they're having the barber speak you know oh yeah any holidays are you doing much I'm just back from Tenerife there's just two lads just fucking rubbing off each other probably is yeah should I go for research I don't know what would make you go there I'm just curious do these things not become kind of not what they are when they happen in real life if you know what I mean I suppose maybe do you know I'd love to know if anyone's been I'd love to know maybe someone else can go please text us in I'm quite busy and I'm committed to Derek and he has said he won't facilitate that for me he's always kept a respectful distance he has to be fair that's why we're friends I used to go to a Turkish barber before and he was back to Turkish and he was he used to he used to start off by feeling my head in such a way that he was like, you know, oh, here's the texture of your hair.

50:25Denis:But like, he was never touching my hair, he was touching my head. Yeah. And like really complimentary of my hair and like, you know, then he'd give me a little head massage in the middle of it and stuff. Oh. It was very intense. They can be rough too. Very intense. Never fuck your face into the sink. Jesus Christ. Do you ever have that? Forwards. Get your hair fucking washed forwards. And you go to the bar, like the proper barbers, they put your head forward into the sink and they like grab you by the back of the neck. You'd be drowned. Sometimes I am at that sink And it's obviously just built for one height of a person Right?

50:57Denis:Yeah And you've got your neck back in it and your neck is breaking And they're having chit chat with you And you're like my fucking neck is going to break off They love it Would they do the wash as well in that place? I don't know I'd love to see it Yeah someone out there has to have gone for it Show me your bits Speaking of right if we can't get this done now We'll do the next one but so this is Dali Alderton Right this is read by Lisa yeah often are Hollybobs and in a country that I know can't recommend ever going on holidays because of what they're at but oh no actually I take it back what I don't know yeah go on there is problems in Turkey and there's raids on bars and things but there's loads going on still I've had a lot of feedback and stuff and there's a huge scene and there's plenty I don't know it's kind of these stories happen and then that's all we hear and then we don't hear the other side that does whatever.

51:55Denis:Any bit of it's bad anyway. You can go to Turkey. It's okay. All right. There you go. This is page 164. Right. It's by Dolly Alderton. The book is called Everything I Know About and then all these things are crossed out. Parties, dates, friends, jobs, life and then love is left. Okay. And down at the end is what it says with a new chapter on everything I know at 30. Okay. Right. So I'm going to give you a little insight. So this is, when we were on holidays and she was sitting down, I picked up the book and I read this bit and I was like, I need to bring this back to Mark. All right, so this is called Reasons to Have a Boyfriend and Reasons Not to Have a Boyfriend.

52:33Denis:And I want you to stop me when something peaks out. Jumped out, okay. Reasons to Have a Boyfriend. More likely to get a proper birthday cake. Oh. Okay, no thoughts. No, no thoughts. access to Sky TV have you ever dated people to get what is that? Go on have you ever dated people to get better subscription services? No has it ever like stopped you from ending something because they've got the full like Disney package right? Well I will say I have a friend a very close friend yeah who has a big TV and has all the bits not just me a more romantic friend and you know I do like going to play with the buttons yeah and it's it's nice so that is a thing it's a perk okay I've never gone out with anyone who's had any subscriptions that I've wanted poor subscription ways so you have all you want I do I have a lot yeah I have all the all the stuff okay Something to talk about So you can talk about your boyfriend Okay Do you natter on that much When you meet up When you meet up with people Do you natter on about He did this and he did that Yeah I mean When we're doing stuff together Yeah No no I mean Like you meet someone else for coffee This is something to talk about I wouldn't say that's the reason To have a partner No That foot's getting awfully close Oh sorry I don't know where to put it Put it up your mouth Jesus Christ Sorry.

54:18Denis:Okay. Sometimes you can't manage a whole large pizza to yourself. This is very girl. Isn't it? Yeah. This is very girl. Regular sex that isn't weird. Okay. Warmer bed. If you have one, people will think you're lovable. If you don't have one, people will think you're shallow and dysfunctional. God, is this what women think? Yeah. The relief of not having to flirt with people. I love flirting. You do. Fear of dying alone, the void. Right. And then someone to grope your bottom in the queue for popcorn. Plenty of that. Do you grope? Concentrally. Yeah, do you? You'd have a little, yeah. I wouldn't be grooping, no.

55:02Denis:I wouldn't be grooping for the line in the cinema. Not a fucking hope. In public? I'd get fucking smacked. Little pat? A polite pat on the lower,

55:16Denis:back yes yeah a grope shot dead a little hand on the lower back can say an awful lot yeah yeah yeah but would you go for a little arse grab out and put do you ever see the fucking lads walking along with the girlfriends i know and they'd have the fucking hand down the arse crack in the jeans walking along yeah um okay look we're going to finish this off in the bonus episode i'm overwhelmed Okay, come on over for a bonus episode on headstuffplus.com where you can come on a second date with your internet boyfriends and hear all the dirt that we're not allowed to tell here to the general public. We have new episodes every Thursday.

55:54Denis:If you have a comment, question or story, send us a DM on Instagram or TikTok. Lovely.

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57:08Denis:cheering and lots of high fives.