Best Of: Finding Agency In Chaos

0:07How are you? I mean, really, how are you? If you've listened to 1A recently or if you follow the news, one word we hear a lot from you to describe the world right now is chaotic. The current presidential administration is challenging the norms and basic operations of our government. The climate is warming faster than it was a few years ago. The economy has become more certain. There's conflict and famine around the world. It can be a lot to take in. At the same time, you need to go to the grocery store. Oh, and you got to finish that report for work and got to care for your child or an aging relative.

0:48Don't forget, you got to pay the electric bill and file your taxes. It may feel hard just to get through the basics of life, much less try to engage with what's going on in the news, support your community, or organize politically. So how can we keep a level head without pulling away from the world? You've been sharing how you find balance and agency right now. I sit down at my piano and I look for some chords. I look for a song that somehow captures and speaks to that part that I can't define about what's wrong and just put it there. And it'll always be there. And I don't seem to have to carry it when it's in the keys.

1:33The thing that I do is to listen to the interviews, readings, and thoughts of individuals that I trust, whether it be established writers like Tony Morrison, Edward Stantacat, or Bell Hooks. or I listen to jokes, comedians, thinking through situations and just life experiences in ways that are not conventional. You're asking what we should do for stress and I would like to suggest meditation. Approximately 10 to 12 minutes a day is all that's needed and it doesn't have to be fancy. Just sit and relax. James, Tamika, Ingrid, thanks for that. Today, we talk all about finding agency in the midst of chaos.

2:27Why should we actively focus on something rather than simply react to what's happening? We get into it after the break. I'm Jen White. You're listening to the 1A Podcast, where we get to the heart of the story. Stay with us.

2:44Joining us now from Nashville is Margaret Rinkle. She's the author of several books, including The Comfort of Crows, A Backyard Year. She also writes a weekly column for the New York Times opinion section. Margaret, welcome to 1A. Thanks for having me, Jen. And joining us from Austin, Texas, is Dr. Pooja Lakshman. She's a psychiatrist and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the George Washington University School of Medicine. And she's also author of Real Self-Care, Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included. Pooja, welcome back to the program. It's great to be back. Thanks, Jen.

3:18Pooja, psychologically speaking, what is this feeling of needing to develop a sense of agency or control in our lives? Yeah, I think that when we think about the word agency, it probably links the most closely to the concept of self-efficacy in terms of psychological terms. self-efficacy is this concept that means your actions your behaviors matter that even in a very difficult situation even in a chaotic environment the choices that you make no matter how small can lead to some type of impactful change and we can think of this on the micro level and on the macro level. I think a lot of what many of us are struggling with, certainly my patients are struggling with, is that on the macro level, things feel very much out of our control.

4:14And in a lot of ways, they are. And if we lean into agency or self-efficacy, thinking about, okay, what are the ways that I can problem solve? What are the ways that I can take back some meaning, some energy, some of my attention, and put it back into ways that are filling me up. That's what we're talking about here with self-efficacy or agency. Margaret, in your life, what has that process looked like for you, that claiming of agency in your daily life? Oh, gosh, there's so many ways that I, this is almost a spiritual practice for me these days. What can I do to stop panicking? One of the things that has always been a cure for me is the natural world.

5:08The way that you move through the natural world is the pace of our bodies, You know, the pace of a stride, of a stretch, of a breath, of a heartbeat. These are the kinds of motions that we aren't aware of when we're living at the speed of 21st century life. Even aside from the question of the news, just the way, the speed at which the world works and the noises that come to us through that world are overwhelming. And so stepping outside to me has always been the surest cure for basically hyperventilating. But I also think that these days, here lately, the trick for me is to put guardrails around when I consume news.

6:08Now I write every week for a newspaper. I don't tune out the news, but I do. I think a lot about how my parents consumed news. Back in the 70s, they got a daily morning newspaper. They got a daily evening newspaper. They got a news show in the evenings, and they got little breaks on the radio station, just little updates. They didn't have these alerts going off the latest thing that's horrific. And I think that that was, even though they didn't have any choice about it in those days, that was a good model. Like, what can we do to stay tuned in but not be overwhelmed by it? And for me, that just means, honestly, it means I don't take in news when it's dark.

7:00I make sure. I mean, there's something about that sundowning thing. I don't know if it's my age or if it's just a little bit of an atavistic return to the sense of vulnerability in the darkness. But I make sure that I don't immediately open the news. I don't immediately check the headlines when I wake up. And it is absolutely not the last thing I do before I go to sleep. So if I'm keeping those guardrails religiously, it's possible to do both. to stay aware as a citizen, and to protect my vulnerability. Well, that echoes this message we got from Linda in Charlotte, who says, What is going on is not only destroying our country, but trying to destroy me.

7:52I can't sleep, very anxious, have never been filled with hate as I am for this administration. I'm listening to more music, going to more theater, trying to listen to only two NPR newscasts per day. hey, I read only the headlines in New York Times just to be in the know. I am worried about our country. Pooja, what are you hearing from your patients? What are they doing to develop this sense of self-efficacy in their lives? So I'm in Austin, Texas, but my patients actually are in Washington, D.C. I practice virtually in my practice. And so my patients are in it. You know, a lot of them work in the government or, you know, for different government agencies.

8:26And what we've been talking a lot about is now is a time to ground in your relationships, to develop really strong community bonds, to stay connected to the people in your life that matter. So small things, small things. I have a patient who started going to her neighborhood. Some of the moms and women in her neighborhood get together once a week and they go for a walk. And it's the same scheduled time every week. And these are not like her best friends, but they're these loose social ties that are local. And she mentioned, you know, surprisingly just how helpful it's been for her mood to have that.

9:09I know folks that are, you know, kind of trying to get monthly get-togethers on the books with friends. I think one of the really nice, one of the ways to make this happen, because I know it can, especially in our day and age with technology, we're also prone to isolating and sitting in our own houses or our own apartments and scrolling. And that is not the answer. Instead, I think that we need to get closer to the relationships that matter to us. So having a standing once a month, every third Wednesday, we all meet up at this restaurant or we all get together at someone's house for a potluck.

9:45One of the keys there is that it's standing so that you're not constantly re-litigating the decision each time. And also similarly to what some of the callers have said or the listeners have said. Instead of listening to the news in the morning, I have a patient that's listening to jazz in the car. People really coming back to just small, small little moments of creativity, like a lot of knitting, puzzles, feel good TV. And I think that like what Margaret said, you know, I think especially for some of us, there can be this tendency to feel guilty, like, oh no, am I tuning out? Or is it bad that I need these escapes?

10:29And in fact, I always say, no, we need this because this is the way that we protect our humanity. And actually the way to consume news right now and stay engaged is to have boundaries around it. So that when you are sitting down to listen to a show or where you are sitting down to read something, you're actually present and you're taking it in and And you're saying, okay, what can I do based on reading this? And let's go back to our voicemail box. Here's a message we got from Nicole in Michigan. I get a lot of peace of mind and comfort from the native pollinator habitat, the garden we keep at our home.

11:06I also have two bird baths that I wash out and take care of every day. And I recommend these practices for everyone, even if you don't have your own space, maybe at your place of worship or business, a local park. And making that habitat and having those visitors come to you, birds, butterflies, frogs, toads, that brings a lot of comfort, a lot of joy and affection. And so that's great on the day to day and also is reassurance for the future that those lives will continue and that you are part of that. Margaret, we heard there a listener sharing that connection to nature that they feel. And this is something you write about, how to observe nature and how to integrate it into your life.

11:52How can the natural world help us find balance or agency in our day-to-day lives? I think people have forgotten that human beings are part of the natural world, too. We're creatures, too. And so I think that when your listener talking about establishing a pollinator garden is a classic example of the way our spirit revives in the presence of our wild neighbors. And it's easy to forget that. It's the world we live in. And we are on public transit or we're driving straight into our garages or we're checking the mailbox and then moving on. It's easy to forget that we belong among these wild creatures and they belong with us.

12:43And so I think when you do plant a pollinator garden or you build a brush pile, make a practice of leaving the leaves where they fall, you are creating habitat. And when you create habitat, you bring in butterflies, as your listener said. You bring in toads and frogs. And you see it almost instantly. It doesn't take very long, especially in a world where habitat is dwindling. And that would be true everywhere, but especially wherever human beings live. When you establish any kind of habitat, you skip the poisons. You put up a nest box. You keep clean water available. You turn your lights off at night.

13:25Those things are rewarded almost instantly because there's such a desperate need for those places to nest and to drink and to eat. And that reward is very self-reinforcing, I have found. Well, briefly, Margaret, if you don't have a big yard or you don't live in an area where nature is close by in an obvious way, any quick suggestions for how you can still find ways to engage with the natural world? I'm glad you said in an obvious way because the truth is that nature is everywhere. I mean, there are coyotes in New York City. There are possums in Philadelphia. There are mountain lions in Los Angeles.

14:09We live among these creatures. They make a practice of hiding from us, but they are there. So a lot of what you must do when you don't live in a natural area that is very obviously natural is I think you have to slow down and you have to look around. So that means lifting your eyes from your phone, taking your earbuds out. I have sat on a city bench and watched house sparrows bringing nesting materials into a crevice in the cement between bricks. And that's nature, too. Or just looking up and observing the way the clouds pass across the sky. Or to listen at this time of year, especially for migrating waterfowl.

14:59They're very noisy when they fly sometimes. And, and even just those little things are reassuring. The key is just to slow down. I know I keep coming back to that, but the key is to be quiet and to be still. And then you'll see what's there. Poojie, no matter where our stress is coming from, how can we tell when that stress is having a noticeable effect on us? And when there might be a benefit to, as markets, it's slowing down and building a sense of self-efficacy. Yeah, you know, I think one of the most reliable things that can give you the hint that you're overwhelmed or you're too stressed is noticing that you're irritable.

15:43You know, that you don't have the same sense of patience. Somebody asks you for some things, an email comes in, there's a small request on your desk, and you want to fly off the handle. That you find yourself constantly sort of like in this state of rage, actually. Um, that is something that I see pretty often in my practice. And that is a sign that it's time to slow down. It's time to take a step back. Let's take a quick pause here. Up next, we hear from someone who finds self-efficacy through organizing in their community. That's just ahead.

16:22Let's get back to the discussion with a new voice. Our next guest is someone who finds agency in organizing and fighting for change. Sam Green is the trans justice organizer for the ACLU of West Virginia. And they join us now from Morgantown. Sam, welcome to the program. Hi, thank you for having me. So you're a professional organizer. What do you work on day to day? Several different things. And it changes a little bit throughout the year depending on what's going on. Right now is the West Virginia legislative session. So a lot of my time is working with LGBTQ plus people in the state to talk through different ways that we can advocate at the legislature against anti-LGBTQ plus policies that are happening.

17:05A big role of my job is also working with the West Virginia Trans Coalition. I founded that in 2023. And it is a space for trans people across the state to be able to work on different projects with each other. my job also entails a lot of work with LGBTQ plus youth and teaching them advocacy skills, organizing skills, and empowering them. What led you to this work? I came out as trans in 2016, and I was 15 years old. And shortly after that, Donald Trump was elected. And I received so much love and support from my parents whenever I came out. And many of my friends that I was in school with that were LGBTQ plus didn't.

17:46And whenever I experienced bullying from classmates, I had a safe place to go home to, but so many people I knew didn't. And having to kind of reckon with my own privilege at such an early age made me realize that I had a lot of opportunities to do work for those people. And that was kind of the start of it was that level of privilege and being able to notice that. So what's your pitch to people about why they should choose community organizing around, you know, whatever issue is important to them to build a sense of agency or even to feel better personally? Well, I think there are a thousand reasons.

18:25And there are a couple of really important ones that I want to touch on. I'm going to read off a couple of quotes that mean a lot to me. So the one that I come back to the most is one by Martin Luther King Jr., which is, freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor. And I was recently at a conference where a ton of organizers from the South got together and someone read a quote from Frederick Douglass that I've been really holding to the last couple of weeks. And it's, power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will give quietly, submit to, and you have found the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them and these will continue till they are resisted.

19:05So I think it's just important to know that we are seeing a lot of oppression, a lot of violence against communities right now. And we aren't going to see those things change until there's a lot more solidarity and a lot more people pushing back against them. So I think that is one of the most important points that I can push through is like, nothing's going to change unless we decide that we want to see that change happen. Another pitch that I always give to people that's on a much more positive note and my personal favorite pitch and favorite thing that grounds me in my work is loving the people around you.

19:37I love my community. I love the West Virginia Trans Coalition and every single member that's part of it. I love every kid that I work with with the Appalachian Queer Youth Summit. I love every queer person in West Virginia and in this country. And that means that I don't want to see them be hurt or be oppressed. And there are communities that I'm not part of that I still carry that same love for that I would defend every chance that I had the opportunity to. And I think every single person in this country has someone in their life that has experienced some sort of oppression that could be changed.

20:06And I think if we ground ourselves in loving people and wanting better for them, then we'll find different ways that we want to fight back for them, whether that be mutual aid, whether that be political advocacy, whether that's just a phone call checking on on them and making sure they're okay whenever a bad bill happens or something like some sort of national tragedy happens that would impact them. But love is really the central thing. And whenever we love people, we protect them. I imagine you spend a lot of time thinking about what it takes to get people to organize. And you're describing on one hand, the need to build community with other people through social bonds, but on the other, to do work that pushes for political change.

20:50But for many trans people right now, the Trump administration's executive orders and rhetoric about trans people target their identity and their ability to live freely. So in this case, how to successfully create political change is an existential question. So how are you striking a balance between finding space for joy and community while also dealing with the stress of organizing for the cause you believe in when it's under threat? A few different ways. One of the core ones that the West Virginia Trans Coalition talks about is the fights that happened before us. We saw the Civil Rights Movement happen, act up Stonewall where marginalized communities pushed back and proved that we are able to be resilient and that people and our communities have gone through worse than what we're experiencing now and they still survived.

21:42And because of them, we get to continue the fight right now in a much more privileged place than ever before. So we hold really tight to the people that fought for us to be where we're at today and already made so much progress. another piece of it is really really getting grounded and joy and community where we can find it that means building trust with each other outside of just trying to think about political advocacy that's uh having phone calls conversations checking in with each other sharing positive and happy moments a lot of my work is also creating community spaces where people can feel safe and affirmed with one another.

22:20My absolute favorite part of my job is the Appalachian Queer Youth Summit. The ACLU puts that on every summer and it's for kids ages 15 to 19. And they get five days where they can just be with other LGBTQ plus youth in Appalachia who understand what it's like to live in a state that is constantly trying to attack them and suppress their voices. And they get those five days to feel empowered with one another and to feel safe. And we also teach them advocacy and organizing skills that they're able to take back into their communities. And I really can't drive home that safety aspect enough and that joy.

22:56Part of the attacks that are happening on the community are so grounded and trying to erase us. So another part of my job has been events that really showcase just how beautiful our community can be. In August, the West Virginia Trans Coalition put on the first ever Appalachian Trans Music and Arts Festival. and we had all kinds of different bands and drag performances and artists showcasing their work and we let it just be a celebration where we sat aside any attack happening on our community and we just felt love with one another and we felt seen this weekend we did a trans day visibility show where we worked on making sure the exact same thing could happen and we had about a hundred people there in morgantown listening to music by trans artists in the state watching drag drag performances, so many different things.

23:45And I think that level of centering joy and community and care is the most important thing we can do right now in amplifying the voices of people that are trying to be erased in ways that aren't just centering stories of turmoil and strife that happen for us, but also just how beautiful it can be to be queer because it is beautiful. That's Sam Green, their trans justice organizer for the ACLU of West Virginia. Sam, thanks for joining us. Thank you. We got this message from Beth who says, I have been repairing and refurbishing bikes for kids in my community, both for friends and by volunteering for my local elementary school, which has a fleet of bikes for their pedal power program that needs some work after the fall rising season now that we are riding again into the spring.

24:29Using one of my hobby skills has been a good way to carve out time for myself to recharge the feeling of being helpful and making a difference in kids' lives by getting them a working bike in time for the good weather feels great. And we also got this message from one of you, in these troubling times, a daily random act of kindness is helping. I recently bought a man a cookie he was admiring. I let someone go in front of me in a long line, was super nice to a service person who looks stressed, and gave a generous tip to the nice Uber driver. The genuine smiles lifted my hopes. Apuja, we heard from Sam that connecting with people locally, spending time with one another is integral to organizing.

25:08And it might not seem obvious that we benefit from being in the company of other people, but how specifically does finding and building community in chaotic times benefit us? Yeah, you know, we as humans are inherently social creatures, and so we are not meant to be going through suffering or struggles alone. I think when we look at community organizing in general, there's just, there's such a large history for that, that Sam beautifully mentioned. And I'm just thinking of my own space, which is the motherhood space and groups like Moms Demand, Action for, you know, Gun Control or Chamber of Mothers have come together because people, just regular people, not activists or advocates or lawyers, but just regular people have wanted to make a difference.

26:00And the beautiful thing that comes out of this is that you find friendships, you find relationships. And I think in these particular times, you know, we need that give and take. We need that interdependence. And so what I often say to my patients is like, get to know your neighbors, you know, get to know your community, whether it's your kids' schools or the local playground. I recently joined the YMCA here in Austin, and it's been an incredible and amazing third space to be with people of all different ages and different generations. And the reason that is helpful, again, is because we're meant to be in relationship with each other.

26:44And when you go through tough times, then you have connections, and you have those relationships to lean on for help, and vice versa. You're able to pay it forward to others. And there's tons of research out there on every different outcome, whether it's mental health, physical health, longevity. If you have relationships in your life, good quality relationships, you do better. We got this message from Marie in Minnesota who says, I try every day to make a difference in my little corner of the world, meet with friends, help older adults. I volunteer to inform people about dementia and how to support families living with dementia, specifically in rural Minnesota.

27:25Find ways to connect people to make a difference, no matter how small. We also got this from Nikita, who emails, I am not okay. I am poor. I am LGBTQ and every day feels hopeless and pointless. Hobbies are drab. Errands feel absurd, like trying to get groceries during a zombie apocalypse. I am struggling. One thing that helps is knowing I am not alone. We've got just a couple of minutes left here, and I'd love to hear from both of you. You know, people have complicated lives, and, you know, you might be a member of the sandwich generation. So if you're taking care of children and aging parents, you may have recently lost your job.

28:05You may be facing a health challenge. You may be feeling overwhelmed by the news or climate change. There's, like, such a long list. And I think sometimes just getting started creating a sense of agency, that in and of itself can feel overwhelming. So just briefly from each of you, give us some homework. Give us one or two things briefly that we can do to start this practice. Margaret? Well, I think it's, you know, important to say it doesn't take a lot of time. We think, I think we have the mindset that we have to clear the decks before we can do anything meaningful. But I wrote my first book in my 50s.