796. How To Feel Good Where You Live (While Calling in Your Future Dream Home)

0:13Lindsey Simcik:Hi, everybody. Welcome to the Almost 30 podcast. It's Lindsey Simcik. I'm so happy you're here. This is a solo episode. If you know, you know, we do solo episodes every single month here at Almost 30, whether it's just me, just Krista, or the both of us together just wrapping on things that we feel are very relevant to us, that are relevant to you, musings, the like. And I just hope this episode resonates with you guys. A few orders of business before we get into it. Thank you so much to everyone who has purchased our new book, Almost 30, A Definitive Guide to a life you love for the next decade and beyond.

0:54I've just been receiving so many messages, so many tags on Instagram, just stories of people who have found this book at the right time, really beautiful synchronicities happening after they've read the book. And I'm just so grateful

1:12for your thoughts. And it's such a weird thing to put something out into the world that you wrote for nearly a year or so. And yeah, it's just a trippy thing. And then to kind of feel the heartbeat of it out in the world and get your feedback means a lot.

1:30Lindsey Simcik:So thank you so much. This book makes an incredible gift for people in your life who are moving through change and especially those moving through change in their late 20s. So go to your local bookstore or Barnes & Noble, Target, Amazon, grab a copy. It means the world to us. The more people that purchase the book, the more places will pick up the book. Yeah. We just love you. Thank you so much. If you're new to Almost 30, welcome. This is a place where Krista and I just wanted to create a sense of belonging and comfort, resourcefulness in seasons of change. We were moving through a lot of it in our late 20s.

2:09Lindsey Simcik:We continue to move through it, but now feel more equipped because of what we learned through this podcast, the conversations that we've had over the last nine years. So if you're new, we have an archive of almost 800 episodes for you in the realms of health and wellness and relationships, spirituality, and probably most things in between. So go back and just kind of play a little roulette, see what episode calls to you. But today in my solo episode, I wanted to talk about this like kind of this pull, this tug within me that's been happening lately. So as many of you know, I live in Brooklyn, New York, considered city life, if you will.

2:54And I have just a nature loving soul, you know, a part of me that wants to kind of get up and move to the country and be barefoot most of the time and, you know, have a farm and all the things. I think it's a millennial thing perhaps, but I just feel this pull between that nature and the allure and what I think are incredible positive aspects of this concrete jungle life. And so I wanted to speak to that and I wanted to just share how I've been able to stay as present as possible where I am now, how I've been able to vision with my husband and open the aperture of what's possible in the future as far as where we live or opportunities to have a place that we can go outside of the city, how I've been able to reframe just the everyday.

3:53I'm walking around and there's construction here and there's loud sounds here. And it's, you know, at times very overwhelming, but I've found just some tools to reframe my current reality that have been really, really helping. And then I wanted to share just ways in which I've brought nature and just slices of what I'm actually craving into my home and into my everyday experience. Because I can imagine I'm not the only one feeling this. I'm sure there are some of you that are in the city feeling the same way. I'm sure there are some of you living in the suburbs that are craving the buzz of the city.

4:34So hopefully you can kind of take what I'm sharing and apply it and get specific for your own life. But I do just want to start with where I'm at. So as many of you know, I lived in LA for seven years. Before that, I was living in New York City for about two years or so. That was kind of my first foray into living in the city. It was intense. I was just trying to survive. I was trying to at least like at very minimum pay my bills. Some months I was not able to do that. I was working like three or four jobs. It was rough. And I just felt like the city was eating me alive, to be honest. And I didn't enjoy it the way that I think now I could have if I didn't have all of those responsibilities and pressure.

5:28Then I moved to LA and I felt like LA allowed me to breathe a little bit. Not only did I have more physical space, but I also just had access more readily to nature, whether it was the ocean, the mountains, the desert. Like LA is just, LA and just California in general, just have so much for you as far as nature goes. And it was something that I didn't know I needed and was really just helpful in grounding me in more ways than one. Then I reconnected with my now husband and he brought me back to New York. And I just felt like a different person coming back here. I just had a different perspective on the city and how to work with the energy of the city and how to create a life that actually serves me so I don't feel so overtaken by the strong energy of New York City.

6:20So here I am today. I am a mom of one, married, working from home in Brooklyn, New York. Specifically, I'm right on the border of downtown Brooklyn, Brooklyn Heights, and it's busy. It's busy over there, but I've been able to create somewhat of a retreat, I would say, in my home and just find more peace than I thought I would be able to. So this episode, again, is for anyone who just wants to create an environment that matches their energetic and spiritual needs. I'm someone who is very, very much affected by my environment, whether what it looks like, how it feels, the natural light, the amount of like living things in the environment affects me.

7:18And I also want this episode to speak to people who feel like they're kind of in that in between. You know, they might not be in their final, final place of like, this is my place. This is where I'm going to be for the rest of my life. But they find themselves in that gap. and I find myself there too because I don't think Brooklyn's our final final, but I also don't know what our final final is. So how do we like dream from that place? It's so interesting. Okay. So first I want to get into, after setting the tone, I want to get into why the city can be just at times very assaulting on our nervous system.

7:55There is chronic noise. I feel like I didn't notice how intense the noises were or the sirens, the beeping, the honking, just kind of the constant hum was until I would go out of the city, whether it was on vacation or go to visit my parents, just realizing how quiet it was outside of the city. Those constant noises can be over time, like very overstimulating. It can raise your cortisol, the stress hormone, and research has actually shown that city dwellers have higher rates of stress-related disorders due to that constant sensory input and lack of access to green spaces or nature. Um, nature itself, uh, has been shown to reduce rumination and lowers amygdala activity.

8:51Actually, a study from Stanford university found that 90 minutes in nature decreases activity in brain regions linked to depression and repetitive negative thought. So if we think about that, um, you know, and we think about what the city offers, I, I live in a place where there is, are these little pockets of nature and I've been able to just make concerted time and effort to be in those places and spaces, whether by myself or with my family on a regular basis, because even without having found this research before, I knew how much of an impact being in a green space, being among like living things actually had on my nervous system.

9:39I am someone who can compartmentalize and yes, feel overwhelmed, but kind of get it together and push through things. But I realized that if we're doing this chronically over time, over and over, every single day, there is going to come a point where you're going to have a system overload and it might express itself in a way that feels like a total freak out. You might not feel like yourself. You might, uh, become overly reactive in situations that you might not have beforehand.

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12:23Lindsey Simcik:And I love that Ritual aligns with the choices I am already making. They're non-GMO, gluten and major allergen free, and don't use synthetic colorants. Don't settle for less than evidence-based support. Save 25 % on your first month at ritual.com slash almost 30. That's ritual.com slash almost 30 for 25 % off your first month. So just know that you're not crazy, that the overstimulation, the constant noise, the constant stimulation of like, you know, crossing the street when there's a lot of traffic or a lot of people around, you know, various like energies always around you. Imagine living in an apartment and there's literally people above you, beside you, below you.

13:12It's a lot going on. So you're not as crazy or not too sensitive for feeling off in an urban setting. There is a lot going on. And I don't believe that we were necessarily made for this. I feel like we've adapted to this over time. and we're not really made to live in a state of heightened alertness. You know, I believe our nervous systems really want to come to like a homeostasis. So in this modern age, we really have to create the environment for that for ourselves. It's not something for most of us that is just like happening around us unless we live in a really, really peaceful place. Um, and I think the last thing on this nervous system note that I want to mention is that I've realized that my craving for nature is my body's wisdom speaking to me.

14:19Um, you know, my husband knows this about me. He knows that I love nature. I love being in the peace and quiet. He, on the other hand, loves city life, loves the buzz, loves being in the mix. I think it really makes him feel alive and connected and we're different in that way. However, however, when he does find himself in nature, we recently went on vacation, for example, to Jamaica, and it is like just a beautiful slice of nature where we are. And I could tell that his body was totally able to relax in a way that I hadn't seen before. You know, I think his constant buzz of being in the city allows him to feel really plugged in and thus very plugged into work and thus thinking about work quite often.

15:14But pulling out of that and unplugging, I was able to see a side of him that was really, really cool. Someone who didn't feel the need to always check in on work. He felt confident things were being handled. And I really feel like the effect that being in nature and hearing the sounds of the birds and the bugs in the morning and just the sweet smell of grass and being by the water really had that effect on him. So just because he's, quote, a city boy and maybe you're listening and you're like, I'm a city girl for life. Like, this is where I'm going to be. That might be true. And you also might be discounting the effect that being in nature or having a more peaceful environment might have on you on a regular basis.

16:03doesn't need to be all the time, but to create that for yourself or be more intentional about it could bring you a bit more groundedness or at least regulate your nervous system in a way that could improve everything, your relationship, how you show up to work, your creativity, your physical body, your digestion, the way you sleep, like the effects are endless. So I mentioned I wanted to share some little rituals, practices, things that I've created to just help me work with the city. You know, because the reality is we are in, we just moved into our new apartment at the top of the year. We will be here for at least two years, but probably three.

16:55which I'll admit when we signed that lease, I was like, oh, so that means we're going to be in the city for two more years. Like, what does that mean? And it overwhelmed me at first, but my mantra as of late has been life is long. And that's not to say I don't want to follow and trust my desires, but also sometimes I feel like I'm rushing my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm rushing into buying the house, going to the suburbs, settling down, you know, being in the place that we're going to be in for a very long time. And I'm missing the opportunity and life in this moment that wants to work on me and that wants to like play with me and co-create with me.

17:43So, you know, two, three years sounds like a long time to part of my brain. And then the other part of my brain's like two, three years, like the last two, three years has gone by so fast. Like what is here for you in this apartment, in this city, in this part of the neighborhood for you, for your child, maybe future children for you and your husband and how can we make the most of it? So first thing I wanted to share that honestly has brought me like intense joy and I recognize that not everyone can do this. However, I think it is easier than most of us think is I created an herb garden. So we do have a small outdoor space.

18:29We have a small terrace off of our apartment. I know not everyone has that. Some people have an outdoor space like on the ground. Some people have a terrace. Some people do not have anything, but you don't have to have an outdoor space to make an herb garden. You can absolutely create it in your home so long as you have access to light, whether it's natural or artificial, that would be appropriate for a garden. But I cannot begin to explain what like tending to these herbs, I have tomatoes, lavender, lemon verbena, mint, basil, Thai basil, chives, what tending to these plants has done for my mental health, has done for just a dose of joy every single morning, has done for me and Mav because every single morning we go out to check on the plants, we check on the tomatoes to see if they are getting even more red.

19:32I have loved it so much. And it's like filled a part of me that I thought only moving would. So I just want you to think about what is one small or pretty small thing I could do to bring my desire or basically satisfy my desire now or within the next week where I currently am. And for me, I dream about having like my own garden and growing, you know, some of our own food. Again, a millennial thing, you know, the girl who wants to move to a farm and have her own cow and stuff. I want that. But what can I do now? So the herb garden was the next best thing. The fact that I just made freaking pesto the other day with my own basil is blowing my mind.

20:32I'm in the middle of a city. I hear cars honking down below and I'm tending to my basil. So I just want to give you permission. It is possible and it has made such a profound difference. I can't stop talking about it and it's probably annoying, but I love it. Another really important reframe that has helped me cope with the insane amount of construction happening in our neighborhood is that my son, he's almost two years old. I don't know if it's just a boy thing. I think it's just a kid thing. Loves trucks, loves construction sites, loves seeing all of that. And so our view, while gorgeous, also has two enormous construction cranes as a part of the view.

21:26Not my favorite, but he is obsessed with tracking the cranes, when the cranes are moving, when they're sleeping for the night. And so I have reframed this as like my son is in a state of total and complete awe and wonder every day as we walk around our neighborhood. We see an excavator. We see a backhoe. We see the cranes. We see the construction guys and he waves. It's bringing him so much joy, which if you're a parent, you know, or if you are close to kids, their joy is just, is your joy, period. So slowing down to see the city through his eyes has really helped me to dust off the jadedness I have with the city.

22:17Because imagine a child just seeing this stuff for the first time, experiencing this on a day-to-day basis. It's really remarkable. There's a part of me that's like, is this overstimulating for him? Is it crazy? And I don't know, it could be. And also from my observations as a parent, I think he's enjoying most of it, if not all of it. And so that has really helped me to be where I am, to know that this probably isn't forever and how can we really love it and take advantage of it now.

22:54another thing that i think is really helpful is to find the micro moments of nature where you are uh i know this depends on the city it depends on where you are but we have parks you know we have playgrounds we have trees you know on lining the street and so to slow down enough to become present enough to see the butterfly that flies from the bushes over there on the corner of the street, to see or listen to the birds and the trees, to go to the park and see the squirrels chasing after each other, to go to the water's edge and see the waves and the sun shining. Like these are really simple things, but I think the overwhelm of the city can sometimes overshadow that nature that does exist here and that does live and thrive there, which I think just reminds me of like the resiliency of nature.

24:04and yes, you know, I think it was their place first. And so this urban jungle is definitely not their preference. However, to see them adapt, see that they are still here. And I think kind of like serving as a little medicine and reminder for us city dwellers that they and nature does exist and is impactful and is important to our mental health, physical health, spiritual health is a really beautiful thing. So I wanted to mention that. I think last little practice that's really simple might not be good for your air conditioning bill, but opening the windows when it's appropriate. I'm someone who loves to have an air filter in my home.

24:55I have my Jasper air filter. I'm pretty crazy about that. But having an open window for a little bit at points in the day, just kind of hearing like the outside, even if it is the hum of the city, I do love the idea of having windows open, just kind of like airflow, a connectedness to the outside. And so if you have the ability to do that, it can kind of release the pressure of being in like a pressurized box that is your apartment or your home. Like it's just a nice, a nice way to kind of circulate to, yeah, feel less trapped. Cause I can imagine that sometimes us city dwellers feel a little trapped.

25:41Um, so opening a window is just a great way to, in a city, do a little forest bathing, if you will. Now, some ways in which I'm able to cope with the overstimulation that I think would be helpful for you, I do have noise-canceling headphones. Sometimes I'll take my walk with those. I'm a girl that doesn't love to listen to things as I'm walking. It's just actually too much for me, but I will pop in some noise-canceling headphones if it's a loud, crazy, noisy day outside. I can be amongst it and witness it, but to have the noise canceling is actually really, really nice. I'm able to hear my own breath.

26:27I can just observe my own thoughts a little bit better and I'm less overtaken by the noise. So highly recommend that. The perks of being in the city is that you're probably walking everywhere, which is really, really nice and great for the body. Walking is an incredible form of exercise, but I feel like sometimes I am like just dead at the end of the day from all of the walking I'm doing or going up the stairs, riding the subways. It's just a lot. So give yourself permission to have that decompression at the end of the day. I love doing legs up the wall. Legs up the wall is one of my favorites.

27:11So lay in bed or lay on the floor, put your legs up the wall, just allow the blood flow to recirculate down rather than all of it kind of circulating down towards your feet. It's kind of recirculating up towards your heart. Um, and it can just be so, so restorative. Last restorative tool, um, Um, the vagus nerve stimulation, we've talked about it on the show before, but I have been reconnecting with my singing voice. I've always been a singer, but, um, singing activates your vagus nerve. Um, so this is really helpful to calm you, um, in a very deep, profound way. And so I will just find a low, deep tone that feels good and I will hum and I'll just close my eyes, I will hum.

28:04And it might feel silly at first, but this is a profound way to like recalibrate to your own resonance rather than the crazy like orchestral performance of the city that we find ourselves lost in and kind of swept up by. So singing a low tone is going to profoundly affect your ability to feel at rest, at peace and centered. I think one of the things about living in a city is that inevitably we're not going to have as much space as we would if we were outside of the city. And I think you just get used to what you have and you don't know what you don't know. But I think for me, it's been important to have a consistent way in which I am checking in on my space because I am severely affected by my space in a positive or negative way.

29:10So I purge often. I think when you have space, you inevitably will fill it, but I purge often because physical clutter to me is a mental fog guaranteed. So I will literally go through my clothes every single season. What can I give away? What can I donate? Same with my husband, same with my son. Like we are just constantly purging. If I haven't worn it in a couple months, once it's out, like we are not holding on to much, to be honest. With a child, you're accumulating things on a regular basis, whether it's toys, things, gadgets. And so I'm going through that on a regular basis. What can we donate?

29:56What can we give to someone who has a new child, younger age that this is more appropriate for? And so that has really helped to keep the space as clean and clear as possible, as open as possible. It doesn't feel like there's as much stuck energy as there might be if we kept everything around. I'm cleaning out my fridge. I am just evaluating stuff as far as like furniture and knickknacks and things like that. I really love a clean aesthetic. It helps my mental health. So give yourself permission to kind of simplify in that way, to purge in that way on a seasonal basis.

30:44I also feel like it is really important to create like a corner in your home to designate as like your peace place. So even if you've had a chaotic day, even if you've been out in the city, in your neighborhood, you've been around a lot of people, very overstimulated, This is a place that you can come to in your home and know that you can completely decompress, that you can release, that you can just feel as peaceful as possible. So for me, I've created a space in, we have a guest bedroom. Thankfully, I feel very lucky because we can have our parents come and stay. But in that bedroom, I have my red light panel and I have my singing bowls.

31:41So this is a place where I feel like I can sing. I can create music. I can sit in front of my red light. I know that if I'm going to sit there, I am going to lock into a feeling of just full surrender, full relaxation. I know that I can dump any worries from the day, from the week right there. It's almost like an altar of sorts, but this is something that I protect, something that is just mine. So again, Give yourself permission because city life can just feel like you don't have your own space. It can just feel like there's a lot going on. You know, there's not a lot of storage. You have people living above you, below you, beside you.