804. How Love, Sex, and Friendships Really Change From Your 20s to 30s

0:13Hey guys, welcome to Almost 30 Podcast. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. I'm going to the derby today, and Lindsay's... I'm a mom from Gap. Honestly. You're a mom at pickup. Well, for these intro-outros, man, I'm not trying too hard with my fist anymore. Dude, this was crazy. I just found it upstairs, and I was like, I've never worn this outfit I should wear. It looks great on you. Yeah. I mean, it's not something I would... It's not my style. Oh, really? Mm-mm. you're more i usually don't wear tank tops oh like tube tops yeah i don't like tube tops or tank tops normally um and i also don't like midi skirts on me so this outfit sucks come see me on youtube come see what i'm rocking on youtube it's not bad it's just like not my journey the green's nice the green's nice welcome to the show um we're gonna do a freaking q a today yeah we got some great questions i love these we just did one recently and And I did one on my stories the other day, and I just really enjoy doing the Q &As so much.

1:22Well, I think we kind of downplay how people love to listen to these types of episodes. Oh, totally. Do you know what I mean? Because I'm like, oh, what do we have to say? But I'm like, no, it's fun. Oh, it's so funny. Actually, do you remember back in the day we did someone else's podcast who was advice? advice and at that point in time I didn't feel like I could give advice do you remember that yes I do I remember being I don't feel like I'm at the point in my life where I could give advice and I was truthful about that because I didn't feel like I truthfully was like I don't feel like my life is advice worthy now and I do feel good I feel like my life is advice worthy now not like not all of it obviously but I just feel like I've lived more life totally you know and you're like in that coaching.

2:07Yeah, totally. So it's like you have kind of that ability to. Even though like advice that I give here is a little different than coaching because coaching is like so much more tender. Oh, yeah. You know, when you're with someone. You can't be like, girl! Yeah, I'd be like, dump him! Even though I was just laughing. Yeah, I was like, hang out with me long enough and you'll think your boyfriend's cheating on you. I'm like, are you sure that he was alone at the concert?

2:37Okay. So we're going to answer some questions about relationships, health, personal questions, and the like. All right. Let's start off with a softball. What supplement have you taken recently that you're like, that didn't do anything? What's been happening with me with supplements is they've been making me tired. So I was doing research because there was this new supplement I was taking from this brand and it's a real food multivitamin. So it's basically vitamins and minerals sourced from real food. So instead of like manufacturing, you know, vitamin B or C, you actually would take it from quinoa or oranges or whatever.

3:16And so I was taking the refood supplements and it made me look at other supplements. And what I realized is that my body, it takes so much energy for your body to break down these artificial or like supplements. So I was getting really tired. Like even yesterday, I haven't taken supplements in a month. And I took supplements yesterday and I had to take like two naps. It is a lot for your body. Especially if you're taking them all at once, which I think a lot of us do. I do that. I do it too. And I do it with no water. Ugh. It's crazy. I can take like 20 supplements down, no water. That is so nasty.

3:50Dude, tell your boyfriend that. That's crazy. That's crazy. No, it's actually so crazy. You're like a frog. No, I mean, I'm like a snake. I'm like, ugh.

4:04so any in particular you're like you don't have to name a brand but like a more general um that i didn't you know what's one that i do love that i rep hard super you from moon juice they're not i think the almost 30 code works but that's really good um what ones have i tried that weren't um you know honestly i think a lot of probiotics are a little mid for me there's some that are good and work.

4:31What about you?

4:38I think the same as far as the probiotics go, because it just varies brand to brand. For me, digestive enzymes don't work. I know you like them. Yeah, I do. And they work for you. Yeah, they don't. I don't know if I have, I don't really have like digestive issues generally speaking. So maybe that's why I'm just not noticing. Yeah, that's true.

5:04I do take a skin supplement or a liquid skin supplement that I notice right away if I don't do it. Really? Collagen I notice right away. Magnesium and collagen are like my... I think there's been a lot more supplements that have come on that are kind of more specific to things like cellular energy or more specific to certain aspects of things that I don't know if they're necessarily, but what I've noticed is a lot of the supplements that I had, had a lot of different goals. And so they were like doing like 50 different things in one. And sometimes there's no way you need all of those things. Or there's no way to really know what's actually helping.

5:42Because I think people today are taking so many supplements. And one, I don't know if you know by blood work, whether you need all of those things. And then also you're overlapping. So if you're taking a multi, you know, if I'm taking a prenatal, but then I'm also taking an additional omega, but the prenatal has omega or, you know what I mean? Like where you're kind of like overlapping with some things. You could be getting more than you need. You could be getting, you know, just kind of interesting levels. But I've simplified, like I don't take things every day. Yeah. I don't either. It's so funny.

6:19I was talking to somebody at the gym and we were talking about my, I was talking about his workout. We're talking about mine. And I'm like, I'm like intuitive. I just make it up. I go in, I'm like, what feels good? I'm going to do abs today. I'm going to do oblique. Like I, same with supplements and this isn't a recommendation. This isn't what anyone should do, but I just take things when I feel like I need them. Yeah. Yeah, totally. But there is an effect of like kind of compounding over time with supplements. Totally. I think vitamin D is something, vitamin D I take pretty regularly for mood and immune support.

6:55I think I'm more like concerned with what Mav's taking for sure. Which like also you kind of have to monitor because like kids don't need a ton, but they're not getting everything that they need through food all the time. So. I'm curious about CMOS. what is the benefit of that so they say it has a ton of like minerals um and we don't get like our minerals from our food that often so like trace minerals i don't know if they're antioxidants but sea moss is it similar to seaweed or sea algae because that's a good question that's a good question benefits but i don't know i know i'm like is that working like there's just so many different yeah because it is expensive yeah and i'm just like i do feel like mineralized water drops have always worked for me.

7:43Every time I take mineralized water, I get intuitive hit to take it on my period, and then I start my period the next day because it mineralizes your blood so that your blood can like... Oh, wow. So whenever women don't have their periods, again, I'm not a doctor, you guys. You can tell, but I just tell them to do mineralized water because it really helps to remineralize the blood. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Because maybe... Yeah. Good one. Maybe they aren't getting it from food. Yeah, totally. So that wasn't clear, but you guys can figure it out from that point. You guys can kind of put the pieces together.

8:12Like, here are the things that we are taking. Honestly, honestly. I was like, almost 30, go. What's one belief about love or sex you had in your 20s that totally shifted in your 30s? Oh my gosh, guys. Do you have all day? Like, pull up a chair, come sit at my feet. Completely different. I believe everything differently about all of it. I think especially sex. Like, I don't know what it was. Like, I felt like I needed to put on a damn show, but in a way that was, like, not healthy. Like, where I needed to not prioritize my pleasure. I needed to, you know, be an actress in a porno or something. I know.

8:55And just satisfy the other person. Yes. And I didn't even allow myself to get turned on. Yes. Like, I would, like, pretend. Yes. But, like, physiologically, I was not. so that i got into the habit of that which was not good so many women yeah why have like one of my friends has never had an orgasm with a man oh no wow that was me for a long time but then i was like there came a point where i was like no more yeah i will never lie again yes which has like changed yes yeah i think that's a huge one i feel like the now in sex it's all about me I could give a fuck about whatever it is I just want to do what feels good for me and that's what men love is when you're so into it that it's like magnetic yeah and the right man I mean maybe a psychopath is like something but I'm like I just am fully focused on me and my experience I think that's changed because that was different um I did the same as what you did for sure.

9:55I think I also didn't, yeah, I also have learned more about with sex, like that you can have really, really good connected sex with someone that like isn't your partner. Like you can still have really good experiences. I didn't believe that when I was younger because I'm so sensitive. So I think that's something I've also learned. I think related to love, I think when I was younger, I wanted to be in control. I wanted to be in the lead. I wanted to be the one managing and facilitating their relationship. I wanted to be the one that was like the more vocal one. I wanted to be the decision maker.

10:42And now I don't want that as much. I want to be included, obviously. But I think, I also think I didn't want my man to have as much of an opinion as I want him to now. Like, I want him to have his own opinion and perspective, and I want him to share it with me. And I want him to be confident enough to have that. I think I didn't want a man that was as strong as me, and now I want stronger. I think I didn't want, yeah, the texture of man I wanted was just so different. And what I thought about love. I think I also felt like love was more conditional, more controlling. You know, like if you change, you'll love you.

11:23Like it was always kind of that. Like someone had to change to prove their love. Totally. You know? Yeah. I think in my 20s, like love was like avoiding conflict. It was like very good. Let's just keep it. Such a good one. Good. Like I don't want to talk about the hard things. I don't know how to do that. I never saw like conflict resolution. So I don't know how to do that. And so it just, a lot of things like kind of got swept under the rug and then it was like very dirty under the rug. And then it would eventually come out and you're just like, oh, like this is not, this is not what I desire in a relationship.

12:01And now it's like leaning into those hard conversations, knowing that you're going to be loved and seen and supported unconditionally in those moments and not running away.

12:14And I also think like, definitely in my 20s, I just thought like kindness, clarity, communication, consistency was like boring or I thought they were a loser, you know, where I kind of liked the chase. I liked the inconsistency. I think it allowed me to not fully show up. So it was almost like easy and I could look good anyway. I could like be the one who's like folding their laundry, you know, like whatever the fuck. Yeah. I think that's like the expectation I had for men was so much lower. Yeah. Was so low. Not like so low. I think I've always, I've had really great relationships with men that have really been very deeply impactful.

13:00But I think I just had a low bar where I was like, oh yeah, they'll be fun to hang out with. we'll relax and watch TV and we'll enjoy each other's company, but I didn't expect them to show up for me emotionally or like be able to hold space or like, I didn't expect this level of depth and intimacy of communication and of texture that I expect now. Yeah. So I think that's also changed so much where I was like, cool, we can be like buds and have fun and like joke around and like prank each other. And now I'm like, oh no, I need you to be able to like hold this.

13:39Okay. One of my goals for 2026 was to actually train consistently. It's hard as a mom, but I'm doing it. I'm committed. That means I'm lifting heavy and trying to build as much muscle as possible. Just, you know, getting healthy. But honestly, the hardest part about this for me has been getting the right amount of protein to support my workouts. It's very important that you are having enough protein as you're trying to build muscle. With everything I have going on, I need my nutrition to be simple, even like mindless. So that's where cachava has been so important, so huge for me. It's basically my go-to all-in-one shake when I don't have time to really overthink meals.

14:18Two Scoops has 25 grams of plant-based protein, six grams of fiber, greens, adaptogens, and it actually tastes amazing. I love the chocolate mint right now. I also love the chocolate. I blend it with frozen banana and almond butter, macho with iced coffee. It just depends on the time of day. And I love it so much. It supports my energy, digestion, strength, all the things I need to stay consistent and keep putting on muscle. And I love that it's non-GMO, no soy, no animal products, no gluten, no artificial flavors or sweeteners. Just real ingredients and it tastes amazing. So stick with your wellness goals.

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16:54Another thing about sex in my 20s was like, I felt like every time needed to be the best fucking time. Oh my gosh. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I'll never forget my ex, an ex I had said that one time. He's like, do you want to have it all the time? He's like, do you want to just have it like really and have like do it really well? And I'm like, oh, that's a good one. Cause like the more you do it, you're going to have times where it's like, it's good. Like I enjoyed that, but it's not going to be, I actually like the range where it's like you take every sexual experience just as this like curious little journey.

17:29And like, you might find things that you're like, oh, that really does work. Let's like actually double down on that or that. That's like, eh. You know, so yeah, I thought every time should be the best time. And if it wasn't, I was like, something's wrong. Totally agree. Something's wrong with me or something's wrong with them. Yeah. Like what's up here? Yeah. Instead of just being like, this is just another day, a human coming to an experience. Maybe they're not at their best. Honestly, maybe they just ate pasta. I think also I had a different understanding of men and I went to men expecting them to hold me into a tune to me like women.

18:04And I think now I just understand men so much more. So that means like, I understand that the men needs time to, you know, they can't, example, if I'm on a road trip with a man, he's not going to be talking for eight hours. But if I'm with a woman, we'll be going, you know, eight hours is nothing. And so the way I just have so much more respect for the way they run their energy and the way that they live and the way that they create, where in my 20s, I would go to my, I'd be in that same car ride with my man, and I'd be like, something's wrong because it's hour four, and we stopped laughing. You know, I'd be like, I knew he was going to laugh.

18:42Totally, making meaning out of everything. Making meaning out of the fact that like, he's staring out the window, listening to the game. Literally, not having a thought in the world. Yeah, like there's like, there's elevator music going on up there. And I would, yeah, if we lost connection, which is normal, I would make it a story, you know? It's not even lost connection. It's like just like letting yourself take a break. Yeah. Yeah. It's not connection. It's the full deep attunement. I would just, I would just be looking for constant connected attunement. And it's like, you are going to have a life.

19:14Totally. Which is like, Ken charade is like codependency sometimes. 100 % where it's like you're like are we good like how connected are we da da da yes yeah also I needed new lingerie every time say less I brought that back well you're dating so that makes sense to me I bought some the other day and I was like he was like I think this is bridal lingerie he's like why is it white with pearls no it's not with pearls on it no it was like a pearl set and he was like yo I think this is bridal I was like oh shoot what I was like what do you think about that I'm just kidding honestly I'm like well that's crazy but what if imagine yeah I was like yeah like picture this and I'm in Bora Bora what if I had even like the veil I'm like that's so crazy it came with this

20:12oh my god yeah the new laundry thing was so crazy i mean i could i could stand to get some new exciting things for sure i think yeah you know it's like once you i need i need to like get rid of the stuff i've had since i got pregnant i concur high-waisted some of my favorite some of my favorite underwear is yours i know say less that lindsey's left she does laundry at the house and leaves them. They're these granny, granny short shorts. So comfy. That are so comfortable. So comfy. In the right light, they look hot, you know? They're a little see-through. Yeah. If you're like, just like listening to music in the kitchen with like a wife beater on, you're like, ooh, ooh.

20:54But now Sean's expectation is like at a certain bar. So if I have something new, he's like, whoa. For sure. I was like, great. This is just from the gap. Yeah. I went from skins to like the gap. This is just Charlotte Roos. I don't even know what the question was. Yeah. It was, it's just how love and sex have changed since their twenties to your thirties. We got it. We got it better.

21:22Okay. I loved how they phrased this. What's one thing about your friendship that has saved your ass during hard seasons? Saved your ass. I can't eat with that question. What is one thing that has saved our ass? I wonder if it's our relational ass or our like. I think it's like, how has our friendship saved us during hard seasons of our life? That's what I read. Yeah. I mean, navigating my divorce for sure. Like.

21:56every step of the way like I was like all right I'm getting divorced and then I was like oh I didn't and then I was like I did and then just like you were like okay we ride at dawn we just got a cruise so I think that was instrumental yeah yeah letting letting you be in your process but like supporting. I think I like, I'm good at that. And then I also always want to check in with myself to see if there's an opportunity. Cause I think you did this well, just to hold up a mirror. Speak more truth. Speak more truth. Yeah. I think there could have been that potential. No, but like, not even like, he's not the one, what are you doing?

22:34It's more like reflecting on like what I'm hearing you say or anything like that. Like, and that goes for anything with any friend like I just think I can do that more consistency consistently with love yeah I agree you know because I'm good at like just allowing people to be in their process but I always wonder I'm like if I'm observing something what would behoove them for me to share I don't know I think it's a gift because I'm always going to be you know I'm never not one to not see but I think I saw the pattern and you reflected the pattern that we were in. So we were both aware of the pattern.

23:14I think I was just, I don't know what it was. I don't know if I felt like it could change or. Yeah. But yeah, it was crazy to be in the experience of having a few friends that knew about the dynamic that we were in. And we're like, I remember like, we'd be like walking and they're like, yo, this is crazy that this. And I'm like. Are you talking about you and me or you and. Sorry, me and my ex. Okay. That like you were aware of the pattern. Oh, oh. And I would talk about the pattern. And people, we'd be like talking about it, like laughing about it. And it's like a very serious pattern of things.

23:54And yeah, it was just funny that like I was like so aware of it. And I don't, I wonder if we were, I was just like, I think for a bit I was just putting the puzzle pieces together. Because I was like, oh, wait, what? This and this and then this and this. And I kind of was just like figuring out the lay of the land. Yeah. You know, I was like, whoa, this is what this is. And this is what this is. It's such a deep untangling. Yeah, it was huge. You've been together for a long time. Like, you know, you can't just like strip it all away or like take the rug completely from underneath. You kind of have to, in a healthy way, it's good to take your time and just be like.

24:30Yeah, I agree. 2020 timing too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say like during 2020 and just when so much obviously in the world changed, so much in our business changed, there was so much like unknown. It was really nice to have like the container of our friendship just to like lean on and remember like who we are. But then remember that, like, remember what's important, you know, because, yeah, there was just a lot of projecting and distortions and, like, fear and. Unknown. Yeah, lots of unknown. So to say, like, you know, if all this disappeared tomorrow, we still have each other is, like, you know, a comfort to me.