808. How To Stop Obsessing Over Food + Start Actually Living Your Life

27:43And 30s, there's a ton of building of a foundation. And yes, you know yourself better. And yes, you are learning how to use your voice. And yes, you are most likely feeling a bit more stability in your career, but you're also kind of working for all of that stuff. And what I feel happened is that because my healing journey was so intertwined with the work that I was doing, it became so much a part of my identity. So whether it was signing a client on to work with them or doing a launch or putting together a book proposal, if it didn't work, I felt like a failure. I felt like I wasn't doing enough.

28:31I felt like I wasn't smart enough. How come everyone else can figure out these sales funnels and I can't figure it out? Like, what am I doing wrong? Am I not a good enough teacher? Do people not like me? And so... And it's funny because it's almost that same part with the food. not enoughness you know you're not good enough comparison looking at other people yes that same part just kind of transitions to a different obsession yes so what I'm feeling now is just so much more settled and grounded in the knowing and not just knowing it in my mind but knowing it in my body, that even if I have some debt sitting over there, or even if the launch doesn't go well, that it has nothing to do with who I am as a person or my worth.

29:23And with that knowing has come the ability to almost step back and look at the work that I'm doing and say, okay, what is working? What's not? It has nothing to do with you. Like it's, it may just, this might not be the final stop on your journey. Like what's next? What, where are you being asked to go? And I think that connection to something bigger than, and really in this time, leaning so much more on my spiritual practice has created a deep sense of freedom. Like I flew down here knowing that three months ago or four months ago, who knows when it was, we recorded a full episode on food freedom.

30:07And I was on the flight being like, I don't even know if that's what I want to talk about. I'm obsessed with that. But I also don't know what the next thing is. Yeah. But I feel okay with that. Yeah. And I think just for,

30:26for a lot of people listening right now, there is such an energy on the planet of change and transformation and of letting go of old identities and of shifting into a more spiritual experience. experience. I've been thinking that a lot lately where this is all spiritual now. Like the game of being a human on earth is all about spirituality and all about the connection to spirit and all about things outside of what we're doing in the 3D or in the aspects of life that feel like define us for who we are. And I think really seeing ourselves outside of these boxes that we've created and the labels we've created for ourselves and really liberating ourselves to live beyond these, these like identities and just remember how infinite and expansive we are.

31:13And it can be very scary to try and like let go of an old identity and step forward into something that you don't know what it is. And I think for most people, they grip so hard onto the old because they don't know what's new or they don't know where they're going, but that's actually like the most beautiful thing? It is challenging. And I would say I was gripping for a long time. And so I would love to be able to say, you know, I did this one meditation and that's what allowed my nervous system to feel more settled in this. But I think it's been the inner work that I have been doing since I was 16.

31:51And what makes me so excited about this is one, being able to sit here and being able to say the inner work works. Like it works. I know. You can grow. You can change. You can see things from a different perspective. If things aren't feeling good in your body, in your life, you really can. You really can create change. And And I want people to hear that. And I want people to know that because I know what it feels like to be stuck or to be stuck in the comparison game, to be stuck in your relationship with food and your body, to be anxious all the time, to not be able to get out of bed, to question whether you're on the right path.

32:44And that's part of the human experience. Very much. It's okay to be there. that's fine. And you can also experience so much joy and beauty in life. And you can get to a place where you feel safe, even when shit is literally on fire around you and life isn't all lined up and perfect. Yeah. Okay. One of my goals for 2026 was to actually train consistently. It's hard as a mom, but I'm doing it. I'm committed. That means I'm lifting heavy and trying to build as much muscle as possible. Just, you know, getting healthy. But honestly, the hardest part about this for me has been getting the right amount of protein to support my workouts.

33:32It's very important that you are having enough protein as you're trying to build muscle. With everything I have going on, I need my nutrition to be simple, even like mindless. So that's where cachava has been so important, so huge for me. It's basically my go-to all-in-one shake when I don't have time to really overthink meals. Two Scoops has 25 grams of plant-based protein, six grams of fiber, greens, adaptogens, and it actually tastes amazing. I love the chocolate mint right now. I also love the chocolate. I blend it with frozen banana and almond butter, macho with iced coffee. It just depends on the time of day and I love it so much.

34:12It supports my energy, digestion, strength, all the things I need to stay consistent and keep putting on muscle. And I love that it's non-GMO, no soy, no animal products, no gluten, no artificial flavors or sweeteners, just real ingredients. And it tastes amazing. So stick with your wellness goals, go to cachava.com and use code almost 30 for 15 % off. That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com. The code is almost 30. When I think about pregnancy prep, there's already so much to hold. physically, emotionally, mentally, all of it. And honestly, I don't want supplements to be another thing I'm stressing about.

34:48That's why in my first pregnancy, I really trusted Ritual. Their essential prenatal feels very intentional and well thought out, from the ingredients to how it's designed. And I like knowing it's clinically backed and made with traceable ingredients like choline, folate, and omega-3 without unnecessary extras. I've also really appreciated the experience of taking it. It's hard to take pills in pregnancy, especially in that first trimester. The capsule is designed to be gentle and it's one of the few prenatals I've tried that feels easy to incorporate into my routine, especially during those sensitive seasons.

35:20It has like a citrus essence that really makes it easy to take. And Ritual focuses on bioavailable nutrients and thoughtful delivery, including a delayed release capsule designed to dissolve in small intestines. That attention to detail really matters to me and I appreciate. so don't settle for less than evidence-based support save 25 off your first month at ritual.com slash almost 30 that's ritual.com slash almost 30 for 25 off your first month i think when i working with women one-on-one like in the work that i do it's so interesting because you know women will come with like the presenting thing like in therapy they call it the presenting problem where it's like i have my presenting thing of whatever this thing is from the ego hook perspective or from like the hook perspective of I think I'm going to get this.

36:08And then we get in container and work together. And it's like the growth and change that happens is so subtle, yet fucking powerful. It's like, oh, I approached my, like I was on the phone with a client the other day, just like the way she's now approaching her parents and that dynamic now is impacting how she's approaching her husband and that dynamic, which is impacting her ability to show up in life authentically, which is impacting her ability to make money and be herself. Like, it's just like the ripple of effect of these small things of you speaking your truth in a micro moment that impacts like the frequency of people that it's like, the inner work is so interesting because I think when you don't know what, you don't really have clarity on what you're going to get.

36:58Yes. It's like, okay, I think I'll love myself more. What does that mean? You know, you're like, like, I think people have the hook of like a glow up. And I even talked about this, but like the hook of a glow up or the hook of looking better or the hook of being happy or the hook of something. And then you actually get in the work and you're like, no, this is like peace. And this is like best friendship with myself. And this is connection to God. And this is like being able to be around food and be free. Like it's just, it's freedom and living and it's so nebulous and hard to understand until you're in it.

37:32But once you have it, it's like, life is so good, even when it's hard. Like even when I'm like, oh, I don't know if I want to be around, you know, because I very much have that part in me where it's like, what's the point part is very present for me. But even when I'm in that, like I can still quickly after being bliss and like weeping, life is so beautiful because it's just this myriad of experiences and things. For you, what was the journey and how do you feel like breaking free from the food prison you're in has impacted your ability to like find peace and love your life? it's kind of what you touched on when you said that you come in to do the work because of some sort of hook right so I came in to do the work because I was thinking about food 24 7 counting calories couldn't go out to a restaurant without you know googling the menu beforehand and then thinking about what I was going to eat and then watching what everyone else was eating comparing myself to what they were like.

38:42Girl, not a fun dinner date. Not a fun dinner date. I've been to many in LA dinner, many in LA dinner with many women like that. They're not present at all. They're actually consumed. That part of them is so present. You can't even have a, you can't even be, have a conversation. It's so crazy. No, so much empathy for it because it's not their fault. No. It's a, it's a bigger picture thing. And I want people listening to hear that as well, that if the food thoughts are allowed, if you hate your body, if you don't feel like you are enough, it's not your fault, but you do have to take ownership of that and do the work.

39:19Like you do have to show up if you want to create change and you can, and it is the path to everything that you're looking for in your life. So, I mean, I started doing the work to stop binge eating was really it. If I'm being honest, it wasn't actually because I wanted to stop the food thoughts or stop counting calories because in my mind, that's what was keeping me safe. Oh, so you wanted to stop binging because binging meant eating a lot of calories. Exactly. Binging meant eating a lot of calories, feeling totally out of control around food, felt shameful and didn't want anyone to know that that was happening.

39:53I didn't even know it was binge eating. I just thought I was like out of control. I didn't have a label for it back in the day. And I was gaining weight. I was gaining to go to the gym for two hours a day the next day. So that's what I wanted to stop. And that's what I help people stop now is the binge eating. But when people come to work with me or when I went to do the work, yeah, they want the solution to stop binge eating, which I have. But once we start working on it, then it has nothing. The conversations we have have nothing to do with food or the weight on the scale. It is everything to do with how you feel in your life, your inner world, your nervous system regulation, the thoughts that you're thinking about yourself.

40:42And as you said, once you start doing the work, it doesn't just impact your relationship with food, it impacts everything in your life. So by the time people are done their six-month session, we're talking about new relationships that they're in. someone's being proposed to, somebody's gone after the job that they want because they're feeling more confident in themselves. And the food noise is quieted so they can actually look at these other segments of their life that feel important. I always say how you are with food is how you are with life. And if you're constricting, if you're controlling, if you're like hyper fixated, if you're just all these things, you're never going to be living a life that you love.

41:23And I think that's what was the most heartbreaking for me was losing all my potential because I was so obsessed and that I spent so much of my energy and my intelligence and my joy and my creativity, even like my creativity. I'm like, this is the workout I'm going to do. This is what I'm going to eat for lunch. Like it's psychotic. It is the gifts of women just being wasted on thinking about their food and body. And I see so many women still, you know, in metamorphosis or just women that I work with just consumed with the thoughts of food in their body and never living up to their potential because of it.

41:57When you say do the work, I just want to be clear for people. Like, what do you mean by that? Because I think a lot of times people say that, and I want to make sure that we unpack what that means. Yeah. I mean, for me, that took shape in many different forms. And it was always, I guess, following my intuition as to what the next step was. So it looked like therapy, working with a life coach. It looks like meditation and eventually becoming a meditation teacher. It looked like hard conversations that were uncomfortable. It looked like creating a vision board and then taking big, scary, radical steps to actually bring that into fruition.

42:39It looked like getting uncomfortable trying new things with food that I didn't want to, but that stretched me out of my comfort zone. It looked like developing a spiritual practice, ketamine therapy, SSRIs. I mean, I could go on and on and on, but I didn't do all of this at once. And I think that's important because so often in this healing journey and in health and wellness right now, there's a massive amount of overwhelm leading to people doing nothing or feeling frozen or that they're not doing enough. So I started the healing journey when I was 16 years old in that hospital program and I'm 40 now.

43:25And so these things layer on top of each other. There's no right or wrong equation or way of doing them. You have to trust your intuition. In moments when I couldn't hear my intuition because I was so anxious, I had to listen to my mom, my husband, the people who love and care for me the most. Um, and so just, just give yourself permission though, to invest in your wellbeing and to invest in continuing to work on yourself until you feel so proud of the life that you have. And I love what I love too, about creating a life that you love. And what I always want people to remember is that I think we, when we have a scarcity mindset, we can kind of approach the life that we want as the life that everyone wants, but actually my dream life is different than yours.

44:22Yes. And so people need to remember that, that when we live a life that we love, it's actually our creativity that creates the life that we love and our expression of our soul that creates a one that's very different than what you have than what I have. And so there isn't a scarcity around what we can do or what we can create or how we can live in our soul's expression. But I think doing the work at first is necessity and then it becomes pleasurable. You know, until I had the confidence and like the self-love enough and the anchoring enough to now enjoy when I'm like, ooh, this is coming up, you know, I can like approach it with a zest and like an excitement of what's on the other side.

45:05But it did take some very radical first moments of going to the depths or going to the edge and walking myself through the edge or walking myself under or walking myself over and then coming back. But then being able to like do that time and time again, because now I see the growth on the other side and the expansion on the other side. But I think it gets easier and easier over time. You know, you have the first radical things and then it's just like softer and softer and more supple than it was before. But it's the most worthwhile thing because I think when we don't examine our lives and who we are, we're just asleep.

45:42And it's just sad and miserable. But I think what we have in common is that my first step into the work was because of my body. I think, yeah, it was because of my hatred for my body and my imprisonment in the voice of my self-hate and criticism. And I think for a lot of women, that can be an entry point where it's almost like the wellness path is like, I'm going to fix myself or make myself better. But it's almost like that disordered eating that leads them there. Do you find that? Because I think a lot of women are in the wellness space, in the personal growth space, and there's such a culture of being better or being your best or bettering yourself, but it's almost like an addiction in its own.

46:27Absolutely. 100%. I think that that is something I consider almost every single day. And women are, women are like me experiencing a huge moment of transformation. Men too, but I work with women. And so that's really what I can speak to. And they're exhausted. They're tired. I mean, we're seeing these funny videos on Instagram of people being like, I need to eat 70 million grams of protein and tape my mouth and, you know, go to the gym this way and tape my face. And tape my face. Exactly. Don't get Botox. Do get Botox. It's just the list of things that we could and should be doing is absolutely endless.

47:18We can always strive to better ourselves. We can biohack nonstop. It's never going to go away. That's never going to go away. But all of it in my mind is really just touching on a very cerebral level almost of health and wellness. It's not getting down to the soul level. We've all been there where you work out consistently and you feel more toned and you feel great. But like at the end of the day, you just go back to worrying about, am I going to lose this now? Is it going to shift and change? What's the next best thing that I can be working on? And just never, never, never, never, never enough.

47:58And so it's cool to be in a place where now, like I do like mouth tape and I get Botox, you know, twice a year. And it just, it feels different. It's like, it's a fun thing to try and tinker at. It's not going to make myself worth, I don't know, I'm just not as anxious as I was before. So it's like, you can add it in or not. I think once you get at a soul level, like I just feel like I'm so present with my soul that my soul is leading. So it's like, oh, let's try this thing and experience this thing. Yeah. Like when you're self-led or when you're soul-led, everything becomes experimental and fun and you approach it with lightness.

48:36Whereas before it's like the gripping to like, this will be the answer. This will be the solve. This will help me find peace. This will help me get here. This will help. It's going outside of yourself to get something. Yes. Rather than inner sourcing it. Yeah. And it's funny because the more I was trying with beauty or looks or my body, because my subconscious program was I'm not enough, I'm not attractive enough, pretty enough, thin enough, whatever the things were. It was that was my drive and desire. And it was almost creating an environment where I wasn't my most radiant self. And whether I am now or whether I am then or not doesn't matter.

49:13but I feel more radiant and beautiful than ever before because I actually like, I enjoy myself in my life and I approach life with like gusto and pleasure and ease. And like, everything is just like a beautiful experience for myself. And now with food, my relationship is so, um, it's just so easy and it's so, I don't think about it. And I literally, if someone would have said that to me 10 years ago, I'd be like, shut up. When people were like, oh, I forgot to eat. I don't forget to eat. Let's say that. But when they were like, oh, I forgot to eat or I, you know, like I feel peace around. I would be like, honestly, that's not possible.

49:57That's not real. It was, you know, and now to be like, oh, I just exist and I eat food and it feels good. And it doesn't run my life is like the greatest blessing I've ever had. And I think for me, by focusing first on my soul and first on like the woman I came here to be. And I think what you mentioned previously was about my creative expression and my purpose. And when I focused on my purpose so much that it took so much space in my life, it took so much time and energy. And it really kind of satisfied that part of me that was searching or wanting, that was previously searching and wanting with food and body was now kind of expressed in purpose in life, it became so much easier for me to be in a body I love because I wasn't so focused on that being how I expressed or created or even was validated, we'll say, even in the negative part.

50:48It was like, I could do this thing. So how do you feel about that for women that want to feel better in their body? You know, what do you feel about the relationship to purpose or, you know, like focusing on becoming the woman that they came here to be in the process? I feel like for a long time, money felt way more stressful than it needed to be. I stress so hard about money, especially when it came to banking and all the random fees you don't even realize you're paying. I feel like one day I woke up, I was like, wait, how was I charged$40 like eight times? What is happening? That's why I've really been into Chime.

51:23It's a smarter, fee-free way to bank that actually feels like it's built for real life, not old school banks charging overdraft and monthly fees just for existing. With Chime, you get paid up to two days early with direct deposit and their MyPay feature lets you access up to$500 of your paycheck when you choose. That flexibility alone has helped me feel way more calm and in control around money. It's awesome. They also help you build credit history stress-free and you can earn up to 3 % APY on savings, which is seven times higher than a traditional bank. Plus, they're rated five stars by USA Today for customer service.

51:58Real humans available 24-7. And their new Chime card is such a shift. You can build credit with your own money and earn cash back at the same time. It's awesome. No annual fees, no interest, no strings attached, no anything. With qualifying direct deposits, you get 1.5 % cash back on eligible purchases. I use this and honestly, my younger self would have benefited so much from it. Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.com slash almost 30. That is chime.com slash almost 30.

52:34Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services, a secured Chime Visa credit card and MyPay line of credit provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. MyPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges$20 to$500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com slash fees info. Advertised annual percentage yield with Chime Plus status only. Otherwise, 1.00 % APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on-time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms.

52:55I never realized how many harmful chemicals were hiding in my old nonstick pans. Teflon, PFAS, all that stuff that can leach into your food and home. That's why I've been loving Our Place. Their cookware is toxin-free, high-performance, and honestly very beautiful. The four-piece cookware set is such a game-changer. I love it so much. I even display it on top of my stove top because it's just so pretty. It comes with two always pans and two perfect pots, which are coming in different sizes. It's great. They replace a whole pile of bulky cookware, letting you saute and sear, fry, roast, boil, basically everything, all in just four pieces.

53:33And I wanted to mention the Wonder Oven. It's an air fryer and toaster oven in one. It's sold out eight times for a reason. Cooking at home feels simpler, safer, and actually enjoyable. Stop cooking with Toxic Cookware and upgrade to our place today. I'm excited for you guys. Visit fromourplace.com slash almost 30 and use the code almost 30 for 10 % off site wide. With a hundred day risk-free trial, free shipping and returns, you can try it completely worry-free.

54:04Yeah. I mean, I think it's a huge piece of the puzzle. I know for me, it was probably the number one thing that created shift. I'm a Pisces. Oh yeah. You're a Pisces I started working with the life coach. One of the first things she did with me was the wheel of life, which has this, it's this circular wheel with different segments of your life. And you give each segment of your life a score from zero to 10. And in regards to how fulfilled you feel in that area. And my wheel of life was very deflated in almost all categories. So my relationships didn't feel great. I didn't feel connected to purpose.

54:45My financial well-being wasn't there. Um, and so once you complete this, you pick an area of your wheel and think about, you know, how you would build that area up a little bit. And I think I picked like financial wellbeing or something. And my coach was like, I'm just hearing loud and clear for you. It's creativity. Wait, you picked that as number one, my financial wellbeing. Yeah. Because at the time I was so focused. I love it. I just love our brains. You know, when you're like that, you're like, it's like relationship zero, love zero, everything. You're like finance, number one, you're like money in my weight more money less weight you don't have a friend you trust you don't have a person you love well exactly that was my 23 year old brain right say no more this is what we need we're shopping on this wheel we're instagram followers yeah so i mean she was like let's go with creativity for 100.

55:40And, and that's where I had a blank piece of paper and I started doing mind map on it. And then this idea kept dropping in, dropping in, dropping in. And that's where raw was formed. And it took on a life of its own. And everything started to shift from there. So I think it's incredibly important for people to get clear is the wrong word, but like to explore their purpose, which I feel can be very overwhelming. That's a good one for women. I agree. And because people, when you say the word explore, people think purpose destination. There's no destination. So when you say explore purpose, that's an oxymoron for people.

56:26It's, it's, it's an exploration for our whole life and we can have many different purposes and different seasons. Our purpose can be something just that brings us joy. It could be creating art, creating beauty in life. It could be adventure, curiosity, or it could be something like I want to be a nurse and work in this hospital, in this neighborhood and have a home and a family. So everyone's purpose is different. This was also a bit shocking to my 20-year-old self. I thought everyone had the same dream. And now as a coach, I get to read people's vision for themselves and understand, no, not at all.

57:03Actually, if everyone has, you know, some similar values or things that they might want or desire, love, belonging, community, connection, but how that looks is so different for most people. I do want to, while I'm here, because I've worked with the food freedom topic for like 10 years, I do want to give people some actual tangible tips. And we're not going to go off of that Because yeah, it's like, I know you want to move on, but my girls need the food freedom information. And I, you know, even still, I need to be refreshed. So yes, please. Well, I just, I think that at the end of the day, there are a lot of women who are struggling with food and their body, who are in the space that you and I were in where they don't feel comfortable in their body, where they're in this cycle of overeating, binge eating, feeling out of control around food and then feeling like they need to restrict control, put guidelines around what they're eating, diet, cleanse, all of these things.

58:01And so they get stuck in this wheel that takes up more and more mental capacity and their body is reacting to that. Like your body will feel or it takes a toll. We know that 90%, 90 plus percent of diets don't work and that 70 plus percent of people gain the weight back that they lost and more within a year of starting a diet. So diets don't work. Diets don't work. The trouble is when I say that people are going to think, well, F, like, what am I going to do? My I'm overeating all the time. If I don't have control around what I'm eating, if I don't restrict, then I will gain 500 pounds. And that's not the direction that I want to go in.

58:47So there are five guidelines, I call them the food freedom five, that people can start to follow on the journey towards eating intuitively. Because people may have explored intuitive eating a little bit. But one thing that I find that's missing from that narrative or paradigm is that when you've had a complicated relationship with food for a long it is very hard. What do you mean? To know when you are hungry, when you are full, do I like this food? Do I not like this food? The food rules, the food police are so loud in your head. Like you are, it's very hard to get in touch with your body. I mean, I remember intuitive eating.

59:26I was like, shut up. Right? That is not real. No. And by the time you're, you're, when you're a child, your parents are making your food. They're telling you what to eat, what to not eat. They're telling you to finish your plate, not to finish your plate. There's tons of messages from media, friends, all these things. There's like very few people in life that ever ate intuitively. Yes. My family, we didn't eat intuitively at all. So I do think though that most people, it's helpful for most people to hear that most likely at one point in their life, they were an intuitive eater. Like they, we are born with intuition around when we're hungry and when we're full.

1:00:01And we know this by looking at babies. They cry when they're hungry, they get fussy, then they eat, they stop, and they move on to sleeping or playing or doing whatever they do. So intuitive eating is not something that you have to learn from scratch. Your body is already perfectly designed in order to be an intuitive eater. But what I find with just talking about intuitive eating, as you said, people are like, that's so effing annoying. I don't know when I'm hungry, when I'm full. If I give myself permission to eat, I'm just going to keep eating forever and ever. So these five guidelines that I'll share with you now, you can write them down and you can just start playing with them a little bit.

1:00:42Start practicing them and get curious about what happens when you follow them. The first one is to have something to eat within an hour of waking up. This is a rule or sorry, this is a guideline, not a rule. I don't always eat something within an hour, but generally I'm having something in the morning. Aim to eat every three to four hours. We're fueling our body. We're balancing those blood sugar levels. We're not giving our body time to get so hungry that we are craving, you know, what the body is designed to crave when it is 10 out of 10 hungry, which is sugar, carbs, fast foods, and things that we can grab easily.

1:01:22There's nothing wrong with those foods. But if we start eating when we're closer to a four, five, six on the hunger scale, we're going to make different choices. So by eating consistently throughout the day, we're keeping our blood sugar levels and our hunger in check so that we're able to make really conscious choices about what we're eating versus being reactive in an autopilot because we're starving and the body is desperate for food. Aiming to eat two or include two or more food groups at your snacks is number three and three or more food groups at your meals. So what we're doing here is just ensuring that we're getting a variety of micro and macronutrients in our diet.

1:02:07We are addressing something called the satisfaction factor. So the satisfaction factor is when you're eating a snack or a meal, at the end, you want to feel satisfied by it. And if you don't feel satisfied, the mind will keep searching for something to help satisfy you. We've all been in that place probably where you're like, I'm hungry and you're like, okay, I shouldn't have the crackers or the chips. Like I'll just have some cucumber cut up. And then you're like, oh, that didn't do it. I'll have some apple with cheese. Okay, I'll have a handful of granola. I'm going to have like a little bit of juice.

1:02:42And the next thing you know, you've eaten everything other than the thing that you actually wanted. When really, if we just include a little bit of that, which we are desiring and craving, then we hit that satisfaction factor and the mind can settle and we can move on to focusing our energy elsewhere. the final food freedom five is to give yourself permission to eat yeah I would say that the two that are the hardest for people um for some people are eating within an hour of waking up because many people have gotten into a space where they don't they just get up start having coffees and they make they go until like one o 'clock and then have their first meal um or giving yourself permission to eat because for so long, many, many people have not done that, have told themselves that it's wrong, that they're bad for eating, that they shouldn't eat, that they are glutton, that they, I mean, a wide variety of things.

1:03:43Maybe they had a mother who was food checking, always behind their shoulder. And so... So these guidelines may feel easy, but I know that they're not for everyone. and it can be helpful to have some support in navigating them. I would say that this is the entryway into getting into food freedom. And we start with these guidelines, with these practices, and then we move from there into more of the depth, more of the soul work, more of the coaching and understanding how you can feel more satisfaction and fullness in your life as a whole. I think it's important to start with the guidelines because I think the part, you know, I just always come from parts work, internal family systems perspective.

1:04:33But like, if you are approaching someone and you're trying to go straight to the soul, but they have that part of them that wants to lose weight, they're never going to listen. That part is always going to be present. Like, how are we going to lose weight? How are we going to change our bodies? And you're never going to get through. You have to subside and stacy that part and make peace with that part before you're kind of accessing deeper. I think the satisfaction thing is huge. And I think that's been really supportive for me and my journey. I eat within, as soon as I wake up, I eat at like 5am sometimes.

1:05:02I eat at 4.45am this morning because I get up so early. Not by choice. My cats wake me up. It's so hot and sexy. So I'm eating a bowl of cereal at like fucking 4.45am. But just in the morning being like, I can eat freely as soon as I wake up, whatever delicious breakfast I want creates this sense of liberation within me where before when I was like, I need to intermittent fast, I have to go till 11. And then at 11, I have to eat a fucking bulletproof coffee or drink a bulletproof coffee, or I have to eat these things created this sense of restriction in me where the binger would be like, Oh my God, we've got to do something about this.

1:05:41So when I had my restrictor very present, and then the binger would sort of do the yo-yo thing, but now just having peace with like, I'm going to eat something really delicious, something that I crave, something that I want. I feel subsided and I feel at peace because I've given myself that freedom. And then throughout the day, I crave way less things. I eat way more balanced because I've already given myself permission to eat freely, something that I really love. Yes. Which is so nice. And what's amazing is usually within about three weeks of practicing and exploring these guidelines, women notice that the food noise is significantly decreased because a lot of food noise is just that you're hungry and your brain is like, please get food.

1:06:27You're hungry. It's not that complicated. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. So when we just eat - It's like, it's not food noise, babe. You gotta have a snack. Your brain's just telling you it's time to eat. Yeah, honestly. I think food noise for me was sugar too. Like balancing my blood glucose and my blood sugar was also major in the food noise. 100%. Yeah. So that these guidelines will also help with balancing blood sugar levels. Of course, we can talk about things like including protein in your meals and snacks and aiming to include it will help with that. Another aspect of food noise while we're on that topic is nervous system regulation.

1:07:06So if your nervous system, if your sympathetic response is turned on, then for many women, the cycling thoughts of that fight, flight, freeze system is the food thoughts. That's what has, where their neural pathways have fused. And it's just become the norm that when there's anxiety, when they're nervous, when things aren't settled within them, that the mind starts chit-chattering about food. So when we start to work on decreasing stress, increasing trust, breath work, like all of these types of tools, then the food noise also starts to soften and the volume goes down. It is incredible. Like just, just try for three weeks following these guidelines.

1:07:57And I guarantee you will not find yourself binge eating. Your cravings will decrease. The food noise will go down. And then from there, usually there's more capacity to start exploring these other things. Yeah. The other things meaning? Your relationship with yourself, your relationship with your beliefs, your relationships with others, your creativity, your passions, your purpose, your dreams.

1:08:33like your vision for yourself and what is stopping you from getting there. Like that's the, that's what I really love helping women with, um, is that is all of that stuff. But the, the reality is it's hard to do that when there's so much food noise happening. So we start there. You know how in your twenties, your body starts slowing down in ways you don't notice at first definitely started for me in like my late twenties, maybe early thirties, Your joints feel a little stiffer, skin less plump, energy dips. Yeah. Okay. That's when I started paying attention to collagen. Paleo Valley's bone broth protein is made from 100 % grass-fed, grass-finished beef bones, slow simmered from small scale regenerative farms.

1:09:19They do it right. I am obsessed. I'm like kind of holding myself back because I am so obsessed for their bone broth protein. I actually have it in my little cup over there. I love the chocolate. It is packed with collagen to support skin, hair, nails, gut health, and joints. Plus it's clean. It can be unflavored if you want the unflavored and gently processed with no chemicals at all or additives. I love adding it to coffee, to smoothies, or just hot water like I do with my chocolate. It tastes like a creamy chocolate or vanilla milkshake without the sugar. It's so good. It's basically all the benefits of slow simmered bone broth in 30 seconds, giving you 13 to 15 grams of protein per serving to help you stay fuller and support metabolism.

1:10:08You can head to paleovalley.com slash almost 30 or use the code 830 at checkout for 15 % off your first purchase. Again, my favorite is the chocolate bone broth protein. I will make sure to put this with hot water. Sometimes I'll add like a little dash of milk, even though you don't really need it. They have like a really clean coconut powder in there that gives it that creaminess, but it is so delicious. I'm telling everyone about it. Again, that's paleovalley.com slash almost 30. The code is A30, A30 at checkout for 15 % off your purchase. Revolve is honestly my go-to for everything. I'm wearing all Revolve today.

1:10:47We can go through it in a minute. Everyday outfits, date nights, weddings, even those I want to feel more put together days, I go to Revolve. Now that 2026 is officially here, I've been doing a little wardrobe reset and Revolve makes it super easy. I love their curated edits and the recommended for you section. It actually helps me find pieces that fit my vibe without endless scrolling. I don't like to be on there forever. And I've been loving brands like Lovers and Friends, A. Goldie, and Amanda Uprichard lately, and everything just feels like very high quality and effortless. I'm obsessed. So between inclusive sizing, new arrivals daily and fast two day shipping, it's the best with easy returns.

1:11:29It's truly a no brainer. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out, or just a much needed wardrobe refresh, your dream wardrobe is just one click away. I hope you're watching on YouTube. you will see my full Revolve look. The theme is brown. We have an incredible sweater, these swishy pants, and some Nike. Are these, these are dunks? They're cool, right? They're brown. I love them. Head to revolve.com slash A30pod, shop my edit, and take 15 % off your first order with code A30POD, A30POD. Fast two-day shipping, easy returns, the easiest of all time. It's literally the only place you need to shop from.

1:12:10That's revolve.com slash 830 pod to shop our favorites and get 15 % off your first order with code 830 pod offer available for a limited time. So happy, happy shopping.

1:12:26It's interesting my work in this cause I, um, the women I work with are like, I always say I work with women on the edge of breakthrough cause I want to be the person that just like flicks them to the over the edge of breakthrough. I can't take you from asleep fully. You know, like you're awake, but you need breakthrough. And it's interesting when I work with women in metamorphosis because it's such a spiritual program that the women actually have to be at a point in their journey enough to be available for the conversation. So they have to be healed enough to be open to things outside of just finding a diet and exercise plan.

1:13:04So there actually is levels that I kind of want to explore this with you of the journey of healing your relationship with food. There's kind of the unconscious and then there's like the, and I'm curious how you perceive it. And I hopefully I'm making sense, but it's almost like the unconscious program of the food and diet running your whole life. There's like the hiding of it. There's the denial. And then there's sort of the opening up to see. And then there's kind of being available for change. And then there's availability for things to look at outside of just food and diet. And that's where I really like to work, where it's like, how are you relating to your emotions?

1:13:41How are you relating to your mother? How are you relating to God? How are you relating to your soul? What would you say sort of the spectrum is of food and diet and healing so that people can kind of see where they're at and where it might make sense for them to go next? That's such an interesting question. I'm such a weirdo. No, you're not. You're brilliant. And nobody's ever asked me that. I, for myself, I never reached the point where I was like, this is uncomfortable. Something needs to change. I was too young at that point. And it was my family that was like, you have to go into this hospital program.

1:14:18And then once I was in there, I remember committing for, I would go for three days. My dad was in tears. That's what, that was what finally made me agree to go just for the three days. and within three days. What did they make you do in three days? Sorry? What did they make you do? Oh, well, you go in, you're in like an inpatient program. Yeah, they weigh you. They do all of your blood work. You meet the other girls who are in the program. All the other girls had shaved their heads because they were still in the space of disordered eating. And I came in and was very thin, which was triggering to them.

1:14:55And so they shaped their heads in solidarity with one another. And, um, and then you eat every single meal at a table with a group of people and food is your biggest fear. It is your biggest fear. And I remember the, the first meal I just ate with a nurse and she brought me, it was a veggie burger. And I just remember this white bun and her spreading butter on it. And I just like, couldn't stop crying. And I was like choking it down because it was white bread, which at the time was my biggest fear. Putting butter on it, like there was just no way. I probably hadn't had fat in that form for at least a year.

1:15:40But what was really interesting was that, again, eating consistently and then having someone else take control of my food. Within that three days, I was like, mom and dad, like I can't leave. The voice that was so loud, somebody else had taken over control. It didn't have control anymore. And so I felt for the first time like a release from the clench of that. And so I stayed for three months. I was in the program. And okay, so back to your question, the layers. The women that I work with have usually gotten to the point where they have tried so many different diets. They've dealt with this for a decade, two decades, and they're exhausted.

1:16:29They're exhausted by it. And almost every single one of them says, like, I have very little faith that this is going to work because they've tried so many different things. and so what I would say is that there's the unconscious phase where you're just doing what you're doing and you honestly think that everyone else is doing it too like I remember thinking everyone had sort of an eating disorder or if somebody like my sister didn't finish her lunch I would be like well she's why why is everyone focused on me like she's not eating either Um, and then you have the moment where you're so uncomfortable that you're ready for change and then you're going to ask for help.

1:17:15And whether that's from a therapist or a friend or a coach or a program that pops up on your Instagram page, um, and that requires a lot of trust and faith and you get going. Mm-hmm. I can't pass over the women solidarity thing. I'm sorry. Like, was that traumatic? Yeah, it was. This is my thing. So I've, a few clients working in the space that I do, I've had more access to programs, outpatient, inpatient, recovery, eating disorder stuff. it's intense that environment is this is my perception that's not professional or not supported or not anything just my feel I don't know how helpful it is to put a bunch of sick people together what do you feel I am hesitant to say because I think that sometimes it is the lifeline that people need And there's so much fear around going into program.

1:18:29Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. That I think it saved my life, first of all. Do I think that it is optimal what is offered by our government hospital programs? No. Yeah, that's true. No. But I think that now having worked with, so there are people who are full on in an eating disorder, like I was at 16. There are far more people who have disordered eating. I work with people who have disordered eating and they're not in a full on eating disorder. So it's nuanced, but when you have a full-on eating disorder, it is very hard or difficult for a coach or someone to just support you through getting through that.

1:19:22Often these individuals need meal support. They need somebody 24-7 watching over them to get them over the hump of the disorder. Disordered eating is where your body may physically not be sick yet, but you're spending a lot of time and energy on food. It's insidious. It will ruin your life. It will steal your joy. But you may never get put into a hospital program, which is unfortunate. it. Not that you would have to go to a hospital program, but that there are many women who just never do the work around this, never get the help, don't have access to the help. And they live their whole life in that mental space.

1:20:12So I don't know. I have mixed feelings. There's not one place where with my clients who you're like, we need treatment where I'm like, this would be a great place. This is a fantastic place for you to go. I don't feel that way about any treatment center could be better. Yeah. But yes, it was traumatizing. I mean, how did it make you feel about women? I guess the reason why I'm asking that is because I would go into that in that I get a reaction to that. That makes me feel so alone and so heartbroken. I think I felt that at the moment. Because they were sad that you were thinner than them? Yeah.

1:21:01I mean, I just was in general very uncomfortable going into the program. I was like, this is not me. This isn't my story. Very disconnected from the whole narrative that was playing out. And so, yeah, it was one of the girls tried to commit suicide while I was in there. And, uh, it was, so it was traumatizing. And I also really don't think that if I hadn't had that 24 hour care supervision that I would have gotten through it, that, that I would be where I am today. So yeah, it's really tough. Yeah. You get what you need, you know? In general, my relationship with women, I love women. Me too. I feel safe with them.

1:21:51I fucking want to lift them up and I feel lifted by them. And I feel that's an area of my life where there's always been a lot of ease, which I know isn't the case for so many people. So I, I, I think that's something that I felt from a very young age. So while that would have been triggering for sure, it didn't ever shift my relationship with women in general. Wow. I think maybe because I struggle with my relationship with my mom, I probably would have seen that as like immediate, this is what women do. This is how they are. You know, they're competitive with you. They don't want you to win or whatever the things are.

1:22:27You mentioned that earlier. And just now that we're on it, it's, I always think about the relationship to food and body because I think about the mother relationship. And that's part of what I teach in metamorphosis is about the mother wound because our relationship with nourishment, you know, our mother is our first relationship and then our mother is nourishment for us as children. So if we have like an insecure attachment to mother that can also affect our relationship with food and our connection to food. And I think it's also modeled by the mother, you know, how we eat, um, and how they see and view food.

1:23:01How do you see the relationship between the mother and food? I mean, everything you just said is so spot on. And the reality is we know that with many generational patterns, they, their patterns because they're passed down, right? So our mother's relationship with food will very often become our own relationship with food. And so it's incredibly common when we start working with women that they are carrying the weight of either their mother's beliefs or the habits that their mom instilled within them. And sometimes it's not even around food, but it's just around their, as you said, their relationship with their mother, not feeling supported, not feeling seen, not feeling allowed.

1:23:46Sometimes too, like receiving nourishment, like being able to be sitting still, eating like a meal. I never saw my mom sitting, eating, like it was always moving around. It was always like fucking soup all the time. You know what I mean? So I was like, dude, this woman is not sitting her butt down in a chair, slowly cutting up a steak, eating it. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's so spot on. My mom was always three meals a day, a snack, not, not restrictive, healthy, but not, not very restrictive. But there was stress in our home that I think I just sponged right up as the oldest daughter and started caring.

1:24:32Your oldest daughter did. Your oldest daughters. Fucking bless you. So the pressure you guys have is so crazy. I mean, it was all consuming. And I didn't know at the time. Sometimes when you start carrying these things, you just think it's what you have to do. And it's just normal. You don't realize. I didn't realize until I was in my 30s and had my own daughter. And all of a sudden, anxiety came back full force. That's actually one of the deeper realizations I had from ketamine therapy is around my mother and fully releasing responsibility for her life, for their marriage, for choices, all of it.

1:25:16And allowing myself to move back into the child role that I didn't participate in as a child.

1:25:29and so that's where I say sometimes you know our relationship with food and body is what's being modeled by our mother and sometimes it can be our relationship with yes yeah that's such a good one yeah I think a lot of women of our generation are parentified you know took care of our parents or felt like we had to take care of our parents I don't know if it was the boomer generation and the boomer sort of inability to be with their emotions and be with their feelings and the fact that boomers themselves are almost children. Because I almost feel like, you know, what I've noticed in my work is that because I'm in mother now, like I have, I'm in mother, I can be in mother archetype a lot.

1:26:10It'll bring out my mom as a child and we'll kind of be in this interesting dynamic of like mother-daughter where I'm a mother that I've been in a role as like a kid and vice versa. But I think when we're able to really be the inner mother for ourselves and create that peace and safety within ourselves. Instead of, for me, I was trying to find it externally with food and regulate with food and soothe with food. It was like, if my parents are crazy and everything's going on at the house, that's restless or makes me uncomfortable or, you know, there's unsaid things or all of that, I can always find that stability with food.

1:26:45And, you know, and even my connection to my father, because my dad, sugar addict for sure. Me too. Sugar addict in the craziest way. And so we connected with food. That was like our love language was snacks and ice cream and all these things. And so even finding that connection to other through food, you know, using that as like the portal to food. One of the things you mentioned earlier that I wanted to talk about a little bit more was about how busy women are and how much they're doing. How do you think that? So I know you probably see that a lot in your clients. So I want to talk a little bit about that because I feel like a lot of the women listening are high performers.

1:27:25They're over-functioning. They're burning out. They're doing so much. How do you see that impacting women's relationship with food and just in general? And what can we do about it? Yeah. I mean, what is coming up for me first is this idea of nurturing and nourishment. And when we are always so busy and performing so high, it's really easy to completely disconnect from our body, to be existing from our mind up. And this can allow us to achieve a lot and get a lot of things checked off of our to-do list. But if we abandon our body and aren't connected to our body with time, there will be consequences.

1:28:10And I think a lot of the time women are moving so quickly now and have so many things on their plate that finding time to sit down to eat, to take some breaths, to really be mindful with their eating, it falls to the end of the list, like the last thing on the list. And we think that we can get away with it, right? We think we can get away with just shoveling something into our mouth in the car or not planning any of our meals and just doing DoorDash every single night. But there's a toll. There's a toll, whether it's weight cycling, whether it's your body becoming inflamed, whether it's chronic anxiety or depression.

1:29:02and so I empathize with women because we're being pulled in a lot of directions right now like our generation is the generation whose parents are living longer so we're caregiving for them we're caregiving for our own families we're I think we're moving out of the boss baby era but like women have careers they're they're pushing it on that front everyone's I know we've talked about it on this show as well. It's like, what's my purpose? What am I doing in life? We're inundated with images of other people living their lives, which make us, which makes us feel like our lives are insignificant or too small.

1:29:40And so I get it. Like I feel it myself. I have to constantly come back to the breath and checking in. Am I living in alignment with that, which I value? And some days I'm not. Some days you get pulled into the hurry and flurry of things, right? Two young kids. And, but the more you do the work again, the more awake you become. And the more you see yourself scurrying about down here, doing all the things, people pleasing, not setting boundaries, holding the emotional weight of everyone, which is another big piece around body image. Like I don't, I think women underestimate the amount of emotional, the amount of impact emotional weight can have on their body.

1:30:30And when we're carrying the weight of trauma that happened in the past or carrying the weight of members of our family or our husband or partner or our kids, that the body for some people physically will just start to hold on to weight. And it's not until we learn to care rather than carrying or carry the emotions of others. It's not until we learn to start prioritizing ourselves that that begins to shed. It's complicated though. Like I, I mean, I can't remember who it was, but another little clip that I saw where they were like, oh my God, it's not just calories in calories out now. Now we have to like heal the generational trauma of the past in order to lose weight and we have to do this and that and the other thing.

1:31:18But I will say that as you start to move forward on this journey, that it isn't just about your weight. Like it will open up every area of your life. That's the doorway that you're going to start going through when you sign up for a program or to work with somebody on this stuff. You go through one doorway, but ultimately it's going to lead into a home filled with many different rooms that you can start to transform and change altogether. Yeah.

1:31:52That was so beautiful. And I think it was the worst analogy I've ever come up with. No, I actually like that. It's so crazy. I'm such a weird, I'm like in the home. I'm like, but I just on the piece where you mentioned about when people, you know, it's like, it's not calories in, calories out, we have to heal stuff. I just want to bring up that I think people with social media need to have a better block or filtration system because I always hear people get so spun up about what people are saying on social media in the sense of actually taking in and processing and filtering information that they don't need to.

1:32:27It's like you actually don't need to do any of that if you don't want. You don't need to do calories in, you don't need calories out, you don't need to do ancestral stuff, you don't need to do any single thing that any single person on social media is telling you to do. That's actually not your business, not your problem. And people will be so stressed out with like so much information and opinions and perspectives of people. And it's like, it's actually none of your business. Like what's your business is your life and what feels good for you or what feels like you need to process or you need to be with.

1:32:55And you don't need to do anything. Like none of that needs to be any of your business. Like what works for me in healing is different than you. I did ketamine therapy. I fell asleep. I like, I literally, my therapist was like, I don't know if this is like a trauma. I don't know if this was, I don't know if this is like you avoiding or what, but each time I fell asleep. She's like, sleep again. I'm like, fuck. Well, that's just it. Everybody's different. Everybody's story is different. What works for one person won't work for another person. I've had many friends go to Hoffman who, where it was like a life changing experience.

1:33:27And then I've had men, like not many, but a few people who were like, what? I don't get what the hype is about. I know. Right. I was supposed to be there this week. No way. With my friend, me and my friend Olivia. We were just cracking up on the phone last night because she's like, dude, we were supposed to be at Hoffman this week. I've been to Onsite, which is like in Nashville. It's like the same thing. And I was like, dude, I can't do that right now. I don't know. I don't know space or capacity. Yeah. Fair. For that right now. That's just it is, is you have enough of a relationship with yourself to know when it's the right time.

1:33:59And I think where we get stuck on feeling like we need to do what everyone's recommending is when we don't have the relationship with self where we can understand what we need or what we don't need, whether we have capacity to add in. I don't know. I opened my phone today and Gabby Reese has some blue liquid on her tongue that is I don't even know what it's called. But I was like, oh, my gosh, here we go again. There are seasons when trying that will feel fun to me and I will get curious about it. And then there are other times where it's just like, it creates anxiety. It feels like I'm already spending on lymphatic drainage and this and the LED mask.

1:34:39And now I got a blue tongue and I got to get just endless things. Yeah. I mean, it's the consumerism of personal growth and self-development and spirituality. And it's actually not about that. It's about you being in silence, you being outside, you like in prayer, every single thing that's important, we know is free. Exactly. Connection, hugs, like. Yes. I mean, not that, you know, I'm a business and I'm a podcast built on products that help, but it's like, it really isn't even about that. But I think people need to give themselves permission to have discernment of yes, no, an opinion or perspective and be like, that doesn't work for me.

1:35:16You actually don't need to be doing everything everyone else is doing. You need, you can like what you like. You can don't, don't like what you don't like and just have a perspective of what works for you, because based on where I grew up, how I grew up, this lifetime, past lifetimes, where I'm going, what I've done, some things are going to work better for me than others. Yes. And I think women maybe feel like we have to try it all or do it all. But then that's coming from the perspective of I need something outside of me to fix me. Yes. Rather than like, I'm already whole and I'm curious. Yeah.

1:35:45You know, like, I'm like, oh, what else is here? Like, in my personal work, now I'm doing this work with this, this Kabbalistic teacher. And it's just like so fascinating because I'm just like, it's very mental, which I fucking love mental. I can be mental all day, but it's such a pleasure because I'm like, Ooh, what else is like in my mind and what else is here? But coming from before I'd be like, Oh, I'm so messed up. There's so much wrong with me. Right. It never ends. I, you know, like it was like exhausting and painful. Um, I think on the burnout piece and the people really doing too much where I have so much room for growth and where I have so much opportunity for myself and where I feel like I fall short the most is my nourishment of myself.

1:36:31I eat enough. I eat a lot, not a lot. I eat enough. I eat well. Um, but I don't nourish myself. You know, I don't take time for my meals. I order Postmates. I eat girl, dinner, girl, lunch, girl, breakfast. I'm snacking around. I'm, you know, whatever. And it, it, I had a friend cook me dinner recently and it just, she's like, it makes me sad how you don't nourish yourself. And I just pour out like all day for everyone else. And I, in my work, I'm in service, which I, it serves me too. I'm not saying that it doesn't, but it's such a growth opportunity for me to slow down and be like, this matters as a foundational level of like, I deserve to take time to take care of myself and be slow with the food that I'm ingesting and all of that.

1:37:28It's like still a, such an opportunity for me. I love that you're naming that and, and it was my goal this year. Building awareness around it. Haven't done it. Well, also be, be realistic with yourself about what that looks like. Yeah, that's a good one. You may continue having breakfast and lunch exactly the same and dinner exactly the same three nights a week, but maybe you want to try cooking twice a week. Yeah. It becomes so big because food is something where it's integrated all day, every day. And so if we're trying to do a complete overhaul on what it is that we're eating or the way that we're eating, that becomes overwhelming and we do nothing.

1:38:08Yes. So starting with even like once a week, I'm going to cook a new recipe. And then I'm also going to do a roasted veggie bowl with whatever, chicken or salmon, something that's on repeat a little bit that I can then have for leftovers. And so you're, you just, you got to take baby steps. Yeah, I love that. You got to take baby steps and be realistic. I think you've probably seen this in your work. And I've seen this in my work. It's like, it's actually a self-sabotage mechanism when you try and go from zero to a hundred. Always. You know, you're like, I know that someone is self-sabotaging when they're looking to go for gold, when they want the perfection, when they want the all or nothing.

1:38:46And I think I found it really beautiful to bring friends into cooking or like, you know, people I'm dating into cooking. It's like, because I'm such a community person. I'm such a multitasker in a way. So I'm like, how can I make this about me and then make this about other people where we can like take time to cook? I love that. I love that. Because before I was like, I need a nice kitchen. And now that I have a kitchen, I'm like, haven't done it. I'm like, nothing changed. Now I'm just like crunching over the sink in my nice kitchen. Yeah. I love that idea though. And I had a couple of girlfriends before we had kids where we would get together and we would each make two dishes and then we would like swap them.

1:39:31So you spent the afternoon together and then everyone would swap. I think we did double batches of everything. And then you'd have all these like freezer ready meals for each other. Yeah. So if I made say like a chili and a big thing of Greek quinoa or something like that, or orzo, then you would make enough to have six servings. So each person would get two servings of whatever it is. And then, and you cook and maybe somebody makes energy balls and somebody's doing overnight oats. And so you get to socialize, have fun, and then get a bunch of different meal options. Because one thing with a lot of individuals who are like not in a partnership in the season or they don't have kids, grocery shopping and cooking for yourself is for most people, not it.

1:40:20Like you end up spending almost more money and more time. And then it's like every night of the week, are you going to cook for yourself? It doesn't, my experience is most people don't enjoy that. And so I love the idea of integrating it into date nights, into time with girlfriends, and then being gentle with yourself. If in this season you're doing more girl lunch, girl dinners, and, um, looking for little ways to like add color to your plate in those, in those situations. And it's almost like I'm still acclimating, you know, after, um, yeah, just acclimating with my new relationship with food still.

1:40:56So it's like, I know I'll get to nourishment of food and more nourishing ways of being with food, but I'm still acclimating to having freedom where I can have a girl dinner. I'd be like, oh, I can have, you know, like 15 crackers and an apple and then five bites of this and then 12 bites of, you know what I mean? And then a piece of chocolate. It's like, I can do all this stuff. But you know what? I think if I didn't have young kids, that that would be my go-to meal as well. It's so good. It's just like, I like so delicious. You know what I mean? Like you're hitting, you're hitting the satisfaction factor on all levels.

1:41:33Yes. Um, and everyone knows my favorite meal is the charcuterie board. And so it's, it's not that what you're doing is wrong by any means. It might just be the season that you're in. And can you stretch a little bit? Like, can you do that one night of cooking or whatnot? I think whenever I think about it, it's the energetics behind it. And the energetics, if I'm truthful are, it is more worthwhile for me to be productive than me to be nourished. Wow. So that is my truth of how I feel. It's not ideal. And that is, um, the experience of the productive part of me gets more validation and more love than the more inner child Krista.

1:42:17this presenting part gets what I want, which is validation and connection. Whereas like the Krista doesn't get as much. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I relate to that. Yeah. To what you're saying. I think most women do. Yeah. No, I'm not discrediting. You're saying like, yeah, we're just such givers. And I feel like we think of ourselves last so often. I'm just laughing at myself because sometimes in interviews, it'll be so obvious of what I'm going through it where I'm like, we're talking about this and I just go into my own dissertation. I'm like, we always put ourselves last. It's good though. I mean, we, everyone can relate.

1:42:54It is what we are raised to do. It is within our nature as well. Yes. Oh my gosh. This is the whole thing where I think the modern world has taken advantage of the natural aspects of what it means to be a woman, which is to caretake and to nurture and to love and to connect. So we think about social media as a connective tool. So then social media exacerbates our desire to connect by making it seem like we have to connect with so many people all the time. Our phones make us want to connect all the time. It's just, it's not supportive of us, you know, as women. How do we like start to be the change?

1:43:36Because I know for me, I look at my daughter who's seven and she's a snacker as well. She's a charcuterie girl, which I love. Um, but I want her, I want the next generation to see us allowing ourselves to nurture ourselves while also like going after our dreams. And, um, that feels hard. I don't know if I know what the answer is other than sitting down at least once a day to eat a meal or, yeah. Yeah. I think that's a really good one. I think that's a great question that I'm pondering on in this moment. And it's different because I don't have children. So I don't have that gaze as the reminder, but I do have my own inner child.

1:44:22I think for me, it would be, and I'm not sure I'm not a mother, but the conscious dialogue of what I'm doing and what's happening. So it's like, you know oh I noticed myself I did a little too much this week like I'm going to take some time for me it's like how can I be truthful and honest about where I'm at not in a way where I'm like over sharing but it's like now we're going to use tonight as like a night where we we nourish ourselves and we stay in we're going to you know kind of take a second and we're going to be on pause um because we can't be perfect but we can be truthful and honest about where we are it might be the thing but I do feel like hopefully our generation is women and I think what can happen is the pendulum can swing ways.

1:44:59So like the trad wife thing, or just kind of the move towards a desire for more femininity and that more slow life and that more balanced life is so beautiful. And so, um, necessary because there does need to be a rebalancing and recalibration where women can be nourished and rested and resourced and supported in our modern day, you know, and not be taken advantage of for, for their natural skills. And I even think men need that too. They do. You know, like there's a balance here. of masculine and feminine. Yeah. They need nourishment. They need love. They need like, they need it too, you know?

1:45:33Yeah. This has been amazing. Let me just, let me just, let's wrap it up and just kind of go to the beginning where we were and you just in this portal of your transformation and this personal growth and your work that you're doing right now. What would be some words of encouragement that you would give a woman that's really in a season of change right now that's really in stepping into the unknown almost like giving yourself your advice what's future erin gonna tell this erin what's bubbling up is just be like just be right where you are and trust and i would love for there to be a more intricate response no it's true but But I've realized the deeper I get down the path, the more simplicity and cliches make sense.

1:46:28Where I'm like, I'm now Sadhguru. I'm now Buddha. We're talking like riddles. I'm like, oh man. The advice I want to give you is walk up the hill and find yourself at the top. Totally. I'm like, come on, more bubble up. No, it's real. It's just, it's, I mean, what I'm feeling is like less rush and hurry to get. less proving energy. I feel like you're in too. Yeah. You're no longer proving. You're like, there's a little voice in the back. That's like, what the hell did you just do in this interview? Like you still have a program that you want that, that you need to run is the narrative. Like, what are you doing here?

1:47:08Telling me that you might be over it. And so at the end of the day, like one thing that is true about me is I just will always speak my truth. And, and from where I'm sitting, I can say that the food, food, food, food freedom program has helped thousands. It's amazing. But it is also, um, this is just where I'm at in my own journey. And I might come, I might come at it with an even more powerful energy. I don't know. Yes. I'm, I just need a break for a minute right now. Also what I'll say is that I, the more detached from it, the better teacher I am. Of course. So you're actually, this is the most powerful place to be a teacher.

1:47:51Even metamorphosis, it's like I could only teach metamorphosis when I was out of my body journey and I have full detachment from it because then I don't have an energetic entanglement and I don't have a proving of self and I'm actually not in it with you. I'm teacher. Yes, which is important. Teacher that's integrated and embodied. So it's actually the best to work with teachers that are detached because when you're too attached, your perfectionist self wants the outcome. Your perfectionist self is looking for something to be validated from the community or the product. The detachment actually creates more spaciousness and more success for people.

1:48:28With my coaching clients, you could work with me. You could not, we're not going to be, I'm so unattached that it creates this blossoming of the truth of who they are. It's so powerful. So it's actually the best place for you to be, babe. Yes. And you're about to blow up because of it. I mean, you're already, you know, massive, but it's like, it's the best. I don't think we need to be attached to anything to have it work. No. And it really is. Yeah, I'm just I just feel excited to see what's to come and how it unfolds. And I wanted to show up authentically today because I think that there are probably lots of people who are in transitionary moments in their life where they're like, what's the next step?

1:49:16And there's a lot of anxiety around that, which I get. I totally get that. And is there also an opportunity to feel a little bit of excitement about it and a little bit of peace and to pat yourself on the back for the growth that and the things that you've overcome and the changes that are happening? Feels good. It's the best. I can't wait to see. So tell people about food freedom. Tell people about the work that you do so they can know. I think the best thing for people to do is to come over to Instagram, which is always like a moving diary for me. My Instagram is at Raw Beauty Talks. My podcast is Raw Beauty Talks.

1:49:58And on the podcast, I talk to women like Krista was a beautiful guest about their relationship with food and body image. and then experts and leaders in the area of health and wellness to get their tools and tips and tricks around food, body image, mental health and well-being, finding purpose, all the topics that I've been exploring myself. So you're such a good interviewer. You're so dialed. I loved our interview. It was so good. So yeah, everyone can listen to that podcast. You can search my name with it if you want to start there or just going to your Instagram is so good. I love your takes on everything.

1:50:33I feel like I learned so much. And I love you guys. I'm so grateful you're here. I'm so grateful for your honesty and your vulnerability and just loving that part of you that's really present and speaking and just letting you know that the magnetism of truth and the magnetism of where you at just supersedes anything, any, any, any fear, like, yeah, it's just when you are at a place and you're honest about where it is, there's such a lean in factor. And And I've just been, I'm so grateful we got to do this. You guys, this is our second round. I fucked up the first interview. It's all good. But it all happened as exactly as it was supposed to.

1:51:10Professional. Actually can't do anything. So we'll see you on the next one. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much, Erin. Erin Treelar, Raw Beauty Talks, my girl, talking about body and food. And if you want more on that in our book, Almost 30, I have a whole chapter on the relationship with your body. I share very vulnerably about my journey with my body. It was a long, painful, arduous one that I feel grateful to be on the other side of, hopefully for good. You know, never know though. But it's a really, really powerful, powerful, vulnerable share with tons of ways that you can find a better loving relationship with yourself and your body, which is something I want for everyone.

1:51:52And if you have not picked up the book, ordered it, it's time. It's time, you guys. Almost30.com slash book. It's time. Yeah, be like everyone else. Get the book. It's really, we're so proud of it. It is a supportive, loving, warm, funny, very resource-filled guide for any season of change. And I cannot wait for you all to read it. We've gotten a lot of early reader feedback, which is nerve-wracking. I was like, oh, God. I know. What are they going to say? But it's been so beautiful. They love the book and they're laughing. They're crying. It's a good read. It's a good one. We love you guys. We'll see you on the next one.

1:52:34Bye. Later.