825. Move From Low Self-Worth to Inner Power with Radhi Devlukia-Shetty (Bonus)

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1:17Hello and welcome to Almost 30 Podcast. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. It's Lindsay Simsek and Krista Williams. We got Roddy on today, our homegirl, Roddy. This is one of our favorite episodes. We've had Roddy on a few times, but we wanted to highlight some of our favorite reruns of the pod till the end of the year. And this one I loved because obviously Roddy can talk about Ayurveda and plant-based eating and all of that all day, but we really dove into her relationship life, both friendships, romantic relationship, how she uses Ayurveda as a tool in those relationships, her challenges with maintaining and nurturing female friendships, which is so relatable.

2:07Yeah, I thought it was one. I didn't expect her to talk about this stuff when we went into this conversation. Yeah, being so vulnerable. Yeah, she's, I mean, she's gem. She's such a pure, amazing gem. Her and Jay are just both beyond incredible and amazing and everything you would hope and more. So we're so grateful to, you know, know them and be in proximity to them and have them be friends of the pod. I think it was nice to have a conversation with her about female friendships because that's such a topic that so many women are always kind of in process with or going through. I was even talking to one of my clients about this today, like a female friendship transition that she's in.

2:45I think I was thinking about this year and I was thinking about my, I was actually talking about this last night at dinner. I think my female friendships have pretty much stayed the same this year, except there was one transition. But that was like mutual and all good and like with love and it wasn't even spoken about. So it's kind of like just like just a shift. But I feel like my friendships have stayed stable in the past year or so, which has been nice. I feel like there are years where – what is that quote? Yeah. What is that quote? There are years that ask questions. There are years that answer.

3:14Yeah. But I feel like there are years within relationships where like you're kind of questioning like, is this person actually worth my energy? Is this a reciprocal relationship? You know, how does it make me feel when I leave this person? Like I've had years where that just is full on. Yeah, I agree. And then what you're speaking about, which is kind of like the fruits of the labor of actually tending to that is having like really solid relationships. It's interesting because I feel like you and I have surpassed that. you and I and I would say I have like two other women in my life that have surpassed even analysis.

3:49Yeah. Periods. You know what I mean? It's like with some friends, like they get, you get close and then you kind of start to, you know, there might be something, but then you kind of get in that. You're like, oh, is this working? Is this reciprocal? But I have, I have women in my life that have passed that where it's like, if we'll hang out and it's not as fun, it's like, whatever. Totally. It's just beyond even needing to think about. Yes. It's nice because there's not a lot of, like the overanalyzing is like kind of such a chore and like so much energy. But then also you kind of know that this is a lifelong friend and hopefully life is long and like not every, just like dating someone.

4:27It's like not every time you hang out is going to be the best time ever. Every time you have sex, it's going to be the best sex ever. It's like really just honoring like, yeah, the flow of relationship, the humanness in each other. And yeah. And in each of the friendships that I have that are, you know, I would say even I've made before, it's like they've gone through, we've had a repair, conflict repair. You know, there's been issues and we've had to have conversations and come back together and, you know, speak truth. And, you know, so there's like definitely that is sort of what creates that for me where someone's not going to go away.

5:07Because I think otherwise there's always a kind of wonder what would happen if something comes up or if something really needs to be said, if there's some real truth that needs to be said, if this friendship is going to go away. And conflict repair is really what proves to me if it's going to like go the distance or not. Definitely. You know? Definitely. I think it's easy in conflict repair opportunities to either let the ego or just let kind of your younger self kind of run the show. So it's like that's when you know when that is like not there. That's when you know that there's like a shift in maturity in a relationship, I think.

5:43Because I've definitely had like, you know, times where my ego absolutely. For sure. Even like today where I'm like, oh, that's interesting that this is showing up in this type of relationship. What is that? Interesting. Like why is it coming up in that way? Whereas like with you, I don't have that come up as much. And usually it's what the other person is triggering in me. For sure. You know? I don't know if it's because we worked through all of it. Totally. Oh, I think so. I think about that a lot, even in my romantic relationships. I'm like, am I going to make us go through like hoops? Initiation.

6:16Yeah, like literally I'm like, am I going to like make it, make this person work for my intimacy and safety? You know, of like proving it or like knowing they're not going to leave or whatever. But it is like, it's so earned. I agree. You know, and I think for a lot of women that, I think for a lot of women, honestly, I don't know a lot of women that have deep, intimate female friendships that go through conflict repair. cycles. I think a lot of women have good relationships with women that they feel supported by from like a very positive level or feel like they can relate to. Yeah. But there is a depth of intimacy and trust that is created when you're able to go through conflict repair that's really unbelievably more deep and real than just like a relationship with a girl that you like really get along with.

7:06Oh, yeah. You know, I have like, I mean, I think we all have that. And I've had that many of my relationships in my life where I'm like, I just really vibe with this person. I love her. But there's next level of like someone bringing something to you, saying something to you and you getting over it. Yes. Yes. And it's usually healing that whatever conflict, the experience of conflict was like for you as a child, especially maybe with your parents, what you saw or with your parents or whatever that looked like in your family. It's usually an opportunity to like really experience a healing in that to like be in conflict, experience repair, and know that you're okay.

7:42You've got you, but also that you are still loved and respected by the other person. Totally. I had a friend say something to me like two days ago and was like, Hey, will you da da da da? Like I had done, I had said something or done something publicly that they didn't like, or it didn't want me to share about them. And oh my, my cortisol the whole day. Of course. I was like, I'm bad. I've done something wrong. Yeah. Da da da da. just like so crazy. I don't know if that'll ever go away. I know. I was like, I'm bad and I've done something wrong and then there's something wrong with me. Yeah. You know, but I was like, no, I love myself even if I've messed up.

8:17Yeah. Even if I messed up, I love myself. And there's no part of me that needs to be perfect. So in this episode, all of that to say, just excited to talk to Roddy again and to bring this episode again. You know, we've had so much fun bringing back some throwback episodes with people like Zach Bush, like Jenna Zoe, like Glennon Doyle, and just some of the best of the best, John Wineland of almost 30 over the years because we had such phenomenal conversations. So this is definitely one to share with a friend, to have conversation with a friend, to talk about different things about and to explore more about what we discuss on the show.

8:51And she has a pod called A Really Good Cry. So you can check out her pod as well. All right, Roddy, we love you. Thank you as always for being a friend of the podcast. And we will see you guys soon. Enjoy this one.

9:05I'd say so when we were dating we spent a lot of time mainly around my family because I'm a bit obsessed with them um but we didn't we spent a lot of time together too but I reckon when we got married it was obviously the time where we had so many changes like we moved to New York straight away and that was just me and him I didn't know anybody there it was just us two he was working a lot I was at home because I couldn't work um at the time in America and so So it was kind of like we both were in a space which was so unfamiliar. And so I feel that when things are unfamiliar, things end up feeling a lot scarier.

9:41And then the worst of you kind of comes out. And I definitely think New York was that for us. We both noticed so many things about ourselves, how we were reacting in our relationship, how we were not at all speaking each other's love languages in any way. Like we were getting it wrong so bad. and that was causing us to drift apart so much and we got to a point where we were just like okay we could be in this relationship and be mediocre and cool like we we definitely were we weren't at a place where we hated each other we weren't at a place where we couldn't stand each other but we were at a place where we weren't as happy as we could be and so we were like okay we literally had a conversation like this could be mediocre and we could continue with this for the rest of our lives for 30 years 40 years being completely mediocre or we have a choice right now where we start putting in the effort to understand one another better to try and shed our bad negative habits that we're either carrying from seeing other relationships in our lives or in relationships that we've been in um and we chose that option and we just it just meant we had to observe each other more we had to take that extra second every time we were speaking to one another to think how does she or how does he actually appreciate me saying this how will he respond to this better for example this is like a very small version small thing but it used really annoyed me when he would leave his shoes out not because shoes at the door and like just scruffy and like leave everything around and in my mind I explained to him that that was because I felt who else are you expecting to pick that up because if you're not doing it that in my mind means you are expecting me to do that which makes me feel disrespected and in his mind when he explained it to me he said it's absolutely not that it's that I don't have the time and energy with all the other things that I'm doing to then have to think about that concept of picking up my shoes and putting them away.

11:23I love him. I love him. That's amazing. And it's got nothing to do with me disrespecting. I don't expect you to do it. I don't expect you to clean my plate. I don't expect you to pick up my shoes, but I would appreciate it if you allowed me the time till the end of the day to do that. And actually when we took the time and that was such a small example, but something small like that can be like, if you're really annoyed at that person through all the random small, small bits, that one thing you can want to chop their head off it compounds over time yeah and so just the ability to explain to each other so now when he leaves stuff around it makes me feel like oh i love him enough to just pick it up because i know he's so busy and i know it's not disrespect to me yeah and that's what it is it's knowing that that person's not doing things to disrespect you which i feel like most of the time it's either you don't feel heard or you feel disrespected and so we had to weed through all of those things that made us feel that way i wasn't speaking his love language I'm acts of service constantly so me cooking for you is like I love you and I'm pouring my heart into this um and me cleaning up is like I'm doing something that's that's contributing to this relationship but for him it's like he's not acts of service he's like quality time and I know his words of affirmations in some way and he really likes you know me saying and appreciating him whereas I haven't been like that before so I think it was really you know working our way through all of those things which may which took two years three years the reality of our relationships like so much of it lives in our heads so it's really it's really cool to like have these relationships about what is going on in our heads so for you to say like hey I actually assume that you would think I would pick that up literally I'm sure 85 light bulbs went off in his head and he was like oh my god yeah so it's just really beautiful and I just you know in in talking to Jay when he was here and even just talking to you before the interview it's it's so cool and apparent that you both are so different but that you balance each other out I'm curious like how how you see that in the relationship we are so different like everybody well the only thing that people think we are the same is is people like you guys look like brother and sister well actually I don't think we do but yeah no in personality we're so different and you know a lot of people ask me like do you feel really um pressured and like feel like you have to perform because of how high performing he is because he is so you know he's someone and that's purely through his monk training that he's so attentive he's so focused he doesn't waver in like what he wants to do he's so determined and I'm very different I sometimes want to do this and I sometimes want to do that and I'm like oh I every like month I'll be like I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know whether it's right or wrong and you know it's actually so beautiful because what what I feel I've experienced in the relationship is an acceptance of the qualities of each other and an appreciation for it like I appreciate that about him so much but at the same time I don't feel pressured by him to be that way he doesn't expect me to be him and I don't expect him to be me and actually I think if he was me our relationship would not work at all and we would you know we wouldn't have got as far as we have and and if I wasn't and if he was like me um no wait if he was like me and if I was like him I think we would butt heads so much because we need you know it's like water and fire and like you know earth and air like you need the stability and you need the frantic and you need the exciting but you also need the grounding and so I think um we've managed it because we both appreciate one another's qualities and we choose to see you know in every single friendship or relationship is like you can choose to see the differences as things that could separate you or you could choose to see them as something that's so beautiful and so unique about that person and yes every quality like you know for him as determined as he is that could also if he's um too determined it can make him frustrated and agitated quite easily and so I recognize that but I also have a relationship with him where I can be you're like, listen, I can see you're a bit out of balance right now.

15:26You need to do this. Like we need, yeah, you need to ground yourself a bit. You need to calm down a bit. You need to slow down a bit because as beautiful as that quality is, it can also be, everything has a good and bad to it. So I don't know about the answer. Definitely. Yes. Yes.

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18:23For the, you know, you mentioned love languages, which is, I think so many of us are fans of love languages. What is another tool that you guys have used, you know, besides that as like an understanding of the way you guys communicate on a, on that level? You know, we're not, oh, another tool that I use has a lot to do with Ayurveda. um it's uh ayurveda is actually just an ancient health science in India it's actually the most ancient health science to have existed have you guys are you guys quite familiar with it yeah so I relate to him as his elements that he's made up of predominantly so we all have all elements in us but for example he's definitely got more fire in him and I've got more earth in me and so sometimes I'll be like that's why I said out of balance because sometimes I'm like your pitta which is a dosha of Ayurveda, which is a way that you can determine your body type.

19:16And that constitutes more of fire. So I'm like, your pitta is way off balance. We need to give you some serious earth or like some grounding because or cooling he needs a lot of. And so I actually have learned a lot about him through his elemental composition, because I'm like, he's fiery. He needs this, this and this in his life, whether it's environmental, whether it's food. and for me I'm kapha which is more earth and water so I know I actually need someone to like push me and drive me I need fire under me or people that are fiery around me so I've actually learned a lot about him through that actually to learn the elemental composition of someone which sounds crazy I'm like not at all but yeah that's us that's women though we're like oh yeah we like figure it out and we're like how can I use this and it kind of helps you to understand someone's nature deeply yes actually and like the fun everybody's fundamental nature is so different and so actually if we if we don't figure that out and if we aren't able to see somebody's fundamental nature then actually we're ignoring such a huge part of them that actually we could be understanding and allowing their mishaps because of it it's not that like he has a right to be agitated for example but it makes me see okay cool like that's actually just him out of balance he's not being mean to me that's just him when he's in this situation that's what it causes so how can I how can and both parties have to do that otherwise it doesn't work it's like he could be like okay she's feeling really anxious right now how can I hold this space for her to be able to come out of that how can I bring her out of that and in the same way he's feeling a little bit agitated right now how can I hold the space so that I don't fuel it further but I can actually help calm it down and I think that's so important yeah it's so we know our we know we know everybody that we're close to we know their spots to push to to get them agitated or angry and you know that's that's the hardest part actually I think a lot about love and relationships is and actually showing deep care for someone is even if I know your push points and even if I know how to make you angry even when I'm so angry let me not do that because I would love for you I don't want to do that and I think that is that's slowly I've learned that that's actually such an integral part of whether it's a mother-daughter relationship or a sister relationship or a romantic relationship it's it's really important and it's super like reactive like you were saying how in New York it was like very reactive and you're also I was thinking about the environment of New York too sometimes it's like and depending you really need like the earth and the grounding as like kind of a support when you're in New York and it's hard to get but it's like you have to make the effort to do that because I found myself to be very reactive when I was there yeah yeah it's definitely got that energy totally you mentioned um and we know this about you just that you are so multi talented and um just interested in so many different things and it's really cool to see um I'm wondering if you ever feel challenged by like the ability to to focus on one thing and or channel your creativity and how you do that?

22:21Well, I'd say when I first got to New York, which was maybe five years ago now, I went through such a breakdown of really not knowing what I was good at. Like I had no idea what to do. I felt like I was seeing J6C, which I was so excited about, but it then made me reflect on my skills. And I was like, what do I even have to give? And everything he was doing was giving back to so many people. And I was like, I need something in my life and I want something in my life where I feel whatever skill I have I'm able to recognize it and I'm able to give it to other people and I really struggled with that so much because I felt like I was just mediocre at everything and I felt like I was like okay cool I'm okay I was either mediocre or really really really bad at it and I was like well how do I you know figure that out and I went through a sad phase where I was like you know I'm just not good at anything um and then I realized that everybody has something like even if even if you don't realize it you have to do the work to try and figure out what that was and so I always loved health and nutrition I actually studied as a dietitian and nutritionist and then when I moved to New York I actually just everything that I've ended up doing has just been a very beautiful magical random interaction with someone that sparked something in me so I met an Ayurvedic practitioner and Ayurvedic chef called Divya in New York and I just was like I am obsessed with this human I need to just study her and I need to just be around her so I just became her assistant in her cooking classes and I was just like I just want to learn from you and absorb you and like in any way possible so let me just follow you around and shadow you so that's what I did I helped her in her cooking classes and then I went on to do yoga teacher training there so I'm a yoga teacher technically but I've never practiced it I didn't actually end up end up following through that but it was the most beautiful way that I felt I found myself through that yoga teacher training I found out so much about me so many unhealed things that I had to deal with um and at the same time it made me so much more confident in who I was and you know I always used and I at that point it made me realize that you know I've had so many points in my life where I felt jealous of other people or envious of other people and I realized that actually that had nothing to do with them in any way it had nothing to do with even what they were doing it was me seeing someone have that spark of purpose and happiness and joy through what they were doing.

24:42And I was like, it's not that I want to be them. It's not that I want to have what they have. It's that I want to feel that joy in myself and that contentment in what I have to be able to give to other people. And I was like, wow, that's actually such a beautiful feeling to know that jealousy actually for me comes or dissatisfaction comes when I don't understand who I am and I don't understand what I have to give to other people. and actually we all just want to give to other people and the problem is if we don't know what we have to give that's actually where the frustration for me came from and i feel like that's probably for many people yes um powerful and i don't know what the what the what the question was no no you answered it and i i think too like to your point of like oh i did yoga teacher training but i i didn't end up teaching but like you use that practice i'm sure every day yeah i heard that so much with people with yoga teacher training they're like oh they didn't use it or they did it but it was just profoundly transformational for them it takes you through such a journey what what is that like because you said there was unhealed parts of you that it helped heal yeah so I a lot of it is to do with breath work like you do a lot of breath work practice in it and actually um breath is so linked to your emotions and actually it says that we have so much stagnant energy that let's say you go through something traumatic in your life you end up and if you don't process it whether it is um a loss or a breakup or whatever it is you end up holding that in physical form in your body like energy is trapped in your there's different channels in your body there's physical channels like our digestive tract and but then there are subtle energy channels in our body too and it says that if we don't go through the healing process then actually those things get trapped in different parts of us and I and actually we feel that pain physically but we also feel it emotionally and then that trickles in in in Sanskrit the word is samskaras it's called and that basically is almost like footprints that are left on you from past experiences past um past anything that you've gone through leaves samskaras and if you don't end up working through them they get deeper and deeper and so it really just helped me see parts of me that I really had to work on and that were really dark and that I really needed to and And I had so much, I really had very low kind of self-worth maybe.

26:59Yeah, very low self-worth growing up. And I knew it was purely based on, I grew up quite overweight when I was younger. And it made me realize that I had so many doubts in myself from growing up. And I think the problem is sometimes when you have doubts about yourself physically, it ends up seeping into how you feel about so many parts of you. And I'm like, that's so sad. Like I grew up and I was like, that is so sad that I that I wasted so much of my and everything happens for a reason. But in hindsight, I'm just like, I feel like I wasted so much of my teenage life thinking that I just was not worthy.

27:33And that seeped purely through physical. And then that seeped into so many places in my life that I ended up at the age of 20. I don't know three in New York not having no clue about what I have to offer to people because I had not appreciated anything about myself until that point and I was like wow like we base it on and obviously it's based on so many external things and in and yoga teacher training made me realize that actually all those external things even if I had a hundred people every single day telling me how amazing I was how beautiful I was how incredible my mind is whatever and if I didn't feel it and if I wasn't able to appreciate certain things about myself it will not make any difference and that was really liberating too because it's like actually that's what it was it was liberating to know that every single thing that I allowed to affect me and every single thing I feel about myself is purely and solely me like it's all me and I was like that is incredible and that helped me so much because I now am able to snap myself out of things so much faster I'm able to recognize and spend time with myself enough and that's another practice that yoga teacher training taught me sit with myself until I moved to New York I would have every single person in my life tell me and I'd invite it I'd want people because I didn't know what I wanted myself I'd constantly want my mom to tell me what I wanted to do my sister to pick things for me from like my cutlery that I want to buy to like the wallpaper like everything was made was decisions that I would want everybody else to make for me because I was too lazy and I was unaware of the fact that I knew nothing about myself and I wanted everybody else to tell me it and so yoga teacher training taught me so much but those are some of the it was the most incredible life-changing thing that I did for sure super powerful that's amazing yeah you're so you're so confident like but in a way that is like very much um I think to your point of like just knowing it yourself like you it's not that like things are validating you necessarily and then you become confident but are there like daily practices that you have that just support that yeah definitely um you know I mentioned that we were moving around a lot and I really needed an anchor for me because I felt that wherever I was going um everything was changing around me everything like the place would change the place we were living with change I didn't have anything that was constant with you and jay right yeah yeah yeah whenever we were traveling around um and i the only thing that stayed constant for me was my meditation practice which i could do anywhere anytime um but i i love having a routine i've always loved having you know a specific thing that i'm doing at different times of the day and so for me my my daily practice is i usually wake up around 5 30 ish and then um i boil my water because I have a little digestive and detox tea in the morning.

30:30And then I sit down for my meditation practice, which usually is about an hour and a half. But I built up to that. Like I, I started in 2012. And at that time, I was like, you know what, if I started hearing about meditation, my mom used to my mom actually, I used to wake up to my mom praying every single morning, like she's been very spiritual growing up. So is my grandma. And it was always a beautiful practice but I never really connected to it I really just saw it as more of like a religious thing and as much as I appreciated it I didn't have a deep connection to it because I hadn't invested time in it and so when I did it was after my first it was after university after college came back home and I started going to the temple that was close to me where everybody would meditate in the mornings and I made a decision that for at least 30 days I was going to go there every single morning and just participate in the meditation that they did in the morning and that would be me waking up at like 4 30 in the morning and getting there for oh no yeah getting there for 4 30 in the morning and 30 days went by and I did it every single day before work I would go there be there from 4 30 to 7 a.m go home change for work and go to work and every single day I did that for 30 days and I was like you know what let me keep going so I did it for about a year a year and a half and it was the most it was incredible because I feel like with meditation as with anything else for example if you want to become an Olympian if you want to do it you're gonna have to you just have to pour yourself into it to really feel the benefits of it to really feel the like spark and magic of it and and once I did those 30 days I was just like hooked and I was like I need to feel this and I want to feel this constantly and it just became part of me and I would feel if if I didn't do it the the difference in my heart and I was I call it a bhakti bubble actually bhakti in Sanskrit means love and um I found that my if my meditation practice is strong and it's good it almost forms like a bubble around me of how I react to things how I perceive things how I interact with people the person that they receive the me as a person that they receive is far better when I've had my meditation practice and so that's something that I've held on to not only for myself because there are so many days where I wake up and I'm like oh just lie in like Like, you should just sleep.

32:44Like, it's okay. And then I'm like, no, because this really does make me a better person for other people. And I think that pushes me even more. It's like, I know I'm snappier. I've got a worse relationship with people around me if I don't do it. Bottom line. And so I'm like, well, it has to be something I do. So that's definitely a ritual. Hour and a half is pretty baller. That is baller. And just silence. No, I do mantra meditation. Oh, you do? So I do breath work beforehand or before and after I'll do breath work. But bulk of it is mantra meditation. and the reason I actually tried many many different types of meditation but the reason I love mantra is because you know our senses are so wanting to be stimulated yeah and I find that if my meditation practice has a deeper focus where all of my senses are being are being absorbed into it so that way with mantra we also hold beads like I hold beads while I'm chanting or meditating and so the mantra that I'm saying I'll also use beads counting the mantras so that's my touch my mouth so I'm listening to the mantra as well I'm speaking and then I'll have like a smell that's familiar to my meditation practice whether it's incense or a specific um um what's it called essential oil that I'll put on so all my senses are very very absorbed into this one practice it just leaves less room to wonder and I find that you know sacred mantras are so powerful they've been spoken for so many years by so many incredible people and I really connected to it when I when I started doing it and I found that it has melody in it and it's got so much depth words have are so powerful like words hold so much energy and sometimes silence I found for me I love silence too but but in terms of connecting deeper to myself I found mantra was more powerful it says that mantras have a cleansing effect on your soul and on your heart and they help you really dig deeper And so I found silent versus mantra was a much more powerful mantra was for me.

34:39What's the mantra? The mantra is Hare Krishna. Have you heard it? It's Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare. Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. It's actually just three words, Hare, Krishna and Rama. And so Hare is basically inviting female energy. Krishna means all attractive. So everything that's like all attractive and it's also another word for God. so there are so many names of God but Krishna is one of them and uh Rama is uh directly translated as like reservoir of pleasure so it's all talking about let everything that is just the sweetest the kindest the most loving thing just come to me and open me up and open my heart um and it's just a it's a mantra for surrender it's a mantra for opening your heart and soul to just anything really but just just really cleansing it's meant to be a very cleansing muncher and I've definitely felt the effect.

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38:26and then last one on your thing what's in the detox tea oh the detox tea okay I've actually I literally just uh I've been speaking about this so much lately because it's done wonders for me it's cumin coriander and fennel seeds um so it's equal parts of all three and you boil it in water for about five minutes and throughout the day I actually just keep refilling so those seeds will be at the bottom of my pan and I'll just keep refilling water into it and I'll drink it during the day. You know, herbs and spices have such incredible effects on the body. And I always talk about my spice box as being my medicine box, because I truly believe having grown up in an Indian family, it's been the base of so many things.

39:04And I've literally not really used medication my whole life. I've been purely through nature, hope, like, and I hope to stay that way. But you know, that's how I've been so far. And I think, you know, if we learn the benefits of spices and herbs we are we have these things which are not expensive that are pure and natural that can really really enhance support and nourish our bodies but um cumin coriander fennel are seen to be tree doshik in ayurveda which means um good for all body types and they're seen to cleanse detox and purify on a subtle level but if you're having them every day they really have that effect wow that's cool yeah it's amazing do you since we're on herbs do you use them outside of the body too do you like make because your skin is so beautiful your hair i'm like what are you what are we using well there are in ayurveda it talks about um are just foods are just means vitality so it's all about um imagine like all the foods and and and activities that you could be doing to increase the vitality and nourishment in your body that nourishes yourself so deeply that it provides that glow the the thick hair the healthy skin whatever it is that you feel you look your best in there's also specific foods for that so um definitely herbs and spices are in that category and i just try and keep everything very simple like simplicity is really beautiful especially with food and so you know lots of the fresher the better there's another word um that's called prana which means life force and prana is in food imagine like the best fruit and vegetables that you can get are the ones that you pick from your garden and you eat so let's say you don't have that but still try and go as fresh as possible because that's when the the food has its most vitality so if you have a choice of having I don't know canned peaches instead of a fresh peach eat a fresh peach the nutrients are far superior in that than it's going to be in something that's canned or frozen um and so i do try and keep to my pranic foods high pranic foods are just so important um and in terms of external um again i just try and keep it natural i use oils i use things with like five ingredients or less you know in them and i make my own face mask something like avocado and like turmeric and but i really think it there's only so much you can put externally it has to be a lot more of what you're feeding your cells and your bodies to nourish them totally i think especially for skin especially you know i remember one time i was getting a facial somewhere and i said something and she's like basically was like oh no you know what you eat doesn't matter for your skin i was like you what i know i was like i don't know if i'm at the right place right now there's this really amazing book actually called um i think it's called absolute beauty it's by someone called pratima something i'll send it to you guys but it's all about it's Ayurvedic skincare, but it is just everything that you've got in your house, like every herb, every spice, like how it can really nourish your body from the outside too.

42:05But it's a beautiful book. Wow. And with that, when you were talking to about you being like an overweight child, we can totally relate. So how did, you know, so knowing that and then going into the Ayurvedic space and cooking and food, like, was that healing for you? Or what was that journey to heal that part of you? Well, when I first started thinking about losing weight, I was probably in my teens. I one thing I knew for sure is I didn't want to do it in an unhealthy way. I didn't want to diet crazily. I didn't want to more so because I read into it of how it can really affect your body. And like, you know, crash dieting actually ruins your metabolism so deeply.