836. How To Set Direction for 2026 Without Burning Out

0:00If you've ever felt like the world is designed to keep you distracted, disconnected, disconnected, honestly kind of asleep, this is for you. On Gaia.com, you get access to over 8 ,000 ad-free series, documentaries, and classes, plus a global community of people who are actually interested in expanding consciousness and questioning reality. I am obsessed with Gaia. One of my favorites is the Gaia original series, Mystery Teachings with Sarah Echelde. She cuts through the spiritual fluff and gets straight into the real mechanics of consciousness, how thought, frequency, and awareness actually shape our lived experience.

0:37This isn't love and light shortcuts. It's deep. It's grounded. It's just really incredible work that you'll probably want to watch more than once because it doesn't just inform, it activates something deeper. If you're ready to question consensus reality and reclaim your inner authority, watch Sarah Ecclady exclusively on Gaia, a completely ad-free member-supported streaming platform dedicated to expanding consciousness.

1:16Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Almost 30 podcast and Happy New Year. We're in January. I hope you had a beautiful, restful end to the year and beginning of this one. And I don't declare any goals, any resolutions, anything on the first of the year, to be completely honest with you. I need a moment because for me, the holidays kind of come in really quickly, kind of like a wave. And I need a moment to like dry off and catch my breath and wait until everyone goes back to work and school. Not that I don't work, but it just kind of feels like that. And And then I can, like, okay, let's see what feels true for me this coming year and in this year that just passed.

2:07And so I wanted to do an episode for all of you who kind of feel the same where you need a beat. And you would also like to be reflective about the year that has passed and the upcoming year. This is an episode where we're going to tell the truth about this year that just passed with compassion. We're going to look outward. We're going to look inward. And then look to the year ahead and just kind of get clear about what we're available for, what we're not, what we're working on, what we can continue to be proud of and praise ourselves for. I just really want to invite self-compassion into the room.

2:54It's something that I can say, yeah, I have self-compassion. But if I'm actually looking or observing my thoughts, there's not a lot of self-compassion all the time. There's more judgment and pressure and high expectations and standards that make me a little anxious. So self-compassion has been shown in psychological research to just really help people to be more emotionally resilient, more likely to re-engage after setbacks than people who self-criticize. And I guess that makes sense when you think about it. But wow, what a profound thing to be resilient, to be able to get up after a setback rather than have it set you back.

3:47for a long period of time. And it is that self-talk. It is that like very true, real perception of yourself that helps that. So I want to set the tone here with this conversation. There's going to be no moralizing. There's going to be no like this is good or this is bad based on outcomes. Um, we're not going to speak about ourselves in like all or nothing stories. So for example, like this year was a waste, um, anything like that. It's, it's not fact, you know, your nervous system is reacting to the year, but it's actually not fact. Um, and then no rewriting reality. Okay. We don't gaslight ourselves into positivity.

4:41We're not going to say it was like, an amazing year. Like if there were some things that you're like, no, I actually, there were some like really tough points. And sometimes I do that to myself. I can say, you know, yeah, there was a few things that were, you know, kind of hard, but like overall, it was an amazing year and I'm so grateful. And that is not inherently bad, but I think what I am discounting is those hard, challenging, emotionally intense times were teaching me something, were moving me through something, are meant to be felt fully. And so, you know, rather than thinking like, oh, no, that's like, that was a bad time.

5:25And I don't want to think about it too much. And life is good. Otherwise, like steering away from having that perception that it's bad and we shouldn't look at it. And rather just being like, that was a part of my year and seeing it in the whole picture of like, wow, that came at a time when, you know, that really helped me to realize blank. That was an experience that helped me to grow in these ways or just really opened me up in a way that I didn't expect. So I just wanted to kind of set the tone there. Two questions that you can ask yourself to kind of kick this off. If this past year had a headline, what would it be?

6:14This past year had a headline, what would it be? And I think for me, the first word that comes to mind is resilience. There were many moments, big and small moments, in my 2025 that just really showed me how resilient I am and also showed me what resilience really means. Resilience doesn't mean just like popping back up and like getting back to it. it's like I've had a couple experiences where, and I'm not sharing clearly what they are because I haven't shared publicly yet. I probably will down the line. But these experiences were very unexpected and just kind of rocked me physically, mentally, emotionally.

7:16And I kind of needed to let myself be in that, to feel it, to heal. And I just, I met a new version of myself on the other side that I felt was like just very resilient. So if this year had a headline for you, what would it be? If it had a lesson, what was it trying to teach you? What was 2025 trying to teach you if it had like one big lesson. I think one of the big lessons for me, which is just a common one for me in my life, but it's like to trust the timing of your life, also to trust your body. I think as I get older, you know, sometimes the social programming can creep in and it's like, the body gets older.

8:11You can't trust it. You got to, you know, got to do all these things. and my body, our bodies are just so insanely intelligent. And if we give them the right conditions and nourishment and love and self-talk, like it will, it will perform miracles. Um, and so, yeah, I would say that the lesson was trust the timing, trust my body. Um, Um, so what was yours? Tell me. But I think it's a good, those two questions are kind of nice to just get a high level of like the flavor of last year for yourself. Oftentimes when we hit the end of a year, beginning of the next, we think about our accomplishments.

8:55We're thinking about, okay, what did I accomplish this year? What do I want to accomplish next year? Um, Um, and oftentimes the brain will forget the accomplishments because we're thinking about the things that we haven't done, that we didn't accomplish, that are still challenging. Um, that's our negativity bias. We've talked about it on the show before, but negativity bias is like our brains, um, basically prioritize threats and problems, which is useful for survival, but not really for reflection. And then there's also the hedonic like adaptation that we as humans have. We get used to good things quickly so winds fade into like normal.

9:49Or we're just so focused on like, okay, the next thing, like the next bar, we're just going to raise the bar at every win. So we don't really like celebrate those accomplishments. They just become like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or we're afraid to celebrate them. So it really makes sense if you're someone that can list like 14 things that you didn't do and you forget like the nine things that you did do in 2025. But I want you to do a little exercise. So take a few minutes. You're going to make two lists. The first list is outward accomplishments. So let me help you to conjure some of those with these questions.

10:35What did I complete? Ship, launch, learn, earn, change, you know, what have you, or commit to this last year. What did I complete or what did I launch? What did I learn? What did I earn? Change or commit to. This can be in the realm of your work, home life, personal life, but these are outward accomplishments. So things that like people see or felt, you can see or feel them. Second question, what did I handle that would have overwhelmed me two years ago? I love this question. I love looking back two to five years and being like, whoa, I would not have handled that conversation the way I just did if this was like three years ago.

11:20And I just love thinking about that because I'm like, you've grown. You think you have so much growing to do what you do, but like you're so focused on what you haven't grown through yet, but like you can celebrate like I have grown so, so much. My therapist is so good at reminding me of that. She's like, this is crazy. Like two years ago, it was a totally different story. Third question, where did I show leadership? At home, at work, or in my community? I just think we knock ourselves. We don't give ourselves credit for moments or seasons of leadership in our lives, you know, especially in our homes.

12:04I think we discount that because we're like, yeah, whatever. But no, like, where did you lead in your home, in your personal life, self-autonomy? Like, what did that look like? Then we're going to work on list B, and this is inward accomplishments. So, some prompts to help you define these. Where did I choose myself even when it was uncomfortable? Where did I choose myself even when it was uncomfortable?

12:38I think for me, one that stands out to me in 2025 was choosing my peace and my focus on my family over a friendship.

12:57and it was hard, you know? It was one of those things that definitely triggered in me the, am I a bad friend? Am I wrong for doing this? But I actually am really proud and I trust our souls, you know, me and this friend that this was the best and highest decision for both of us. what boundary did I set or uphold? Boundaries, baby. A triggering word, but hey, we got to have them. Boundaries, what boundaries did you set or uphold? How did it make you feel? What did that look like? Third question, where did I come back to myself faster after getting

13:45dysregulated. Maybe you went home for the holidays and you were triggered by something your dad said and you recovered much quicker than you would have and just kept it moving and understood, you know, the dynamics at play and understood that you are safe, that you got yourself, you got your own back, you're not going to abandon yourself. Oh, does that feel good? ooh what pattern did i interrupt even just once what pattern did i interrupt i did a solo at the end of the year about you know being able to be in the boring moments have you interrupted the pattern of needing to stimulate yourself in those boring moments i have done that that's felt good thus far and last question to help you conjure some inward accomplishments what did i grieve accept, or soften around?

14:37What did I grieve, accept, or soften around? Just giving ourself our flowers for grieving, you know, for really accepting, for integrating, for just softening around something that maybe we just felt so hardened by or just so defensive around. And then we can go just a step further and ask ourselves, what accomplishment am I most proud of and why. And I think I surprised myself and maybe you will too. Like it was the inward accomplishments that I was most proud of because I know how much work those have taken over the years. Um, second question, what did it cost me to do that? What did it give me?

15:17So just thinking about that process of accomplishing that thing, what did it cost me and what did it give me?

15:26this episode is sponsored by better help february can bring up a lot around relationships there's so much talk about love and dating and it can feel like everyone else has it all together whether they're married coupled or moving effortlessly through it all but the truth is most of us are still figuring it out hi i'm definitely still figuring it out and i've been married for three years. And wherever you are, whether you're dating, single, or focused on yourself, you're not behind. Therapy can really help you take some pressure off. It's a space to understand what you want, what feels heavy, and what may be weighing your relationships down so you can start to feel clearer and lighter again.

16:06BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched with a qualified therapist through a short questionnaire. And if the fit isn't right, you can switch anytime. They make it super easy. So sign up now and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash almost 30. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash almost 30. Revolve is honestly my go-to for everything. I'm wearing all Revolve today. We can go through it in a minute. Everyday outfits, date nights, weddings, even those I want to feel more put together days, I go to Revolve. Now that 2026 is officially here, I've been doing a little wardrobe reset and Revolve makes it super easy.

16:43I love their curated edits and the recommended for you section. It actually helps me find pieces that fit my vibe without endless scrolling. I don't like to be on there forever. And I've been loving brands like Lovers and Friends, A. Goldie, and Amanda Uprichards lately. And everything just feels like very high quality and effortless. I'm obsessed. So between inclusive sizing, new arrivals daily, and fast two-day shipping. It's the best with easy returns. It's truly a no-brainer. Whether it's a weekend away, a big night out, or just a much-needed wardrobe refresh, your dream wardrobe is just one click away.

17:22I hope you're watching on YouTube. You will see my full Revolve look. The theme is brown. We have an incredible sweater, these swishy pants, and some Nike. Are these... These are dunks? They're cool, right? They're brown. I love them. Head to revolve.com slash a30pod, shop my edit and take 15 % off your first order with code A30POD. Fast two-day shipping, easy returns, the easiest of all time. It's literally the only place you need to shop from. That's revolve.com slash a30pod to shop our favorites and get 15 % off your first order with code a30pod. Offer available for a limited time. So happy, happy shopping.

18:07I never realized how many harmful chemicals were hiding in my old nonstick pans. Teflon, PFAS, all that stuff that can leach into your food and home. That's why I've been loving Our Place. Their cookware is toxin-free, high-performance, and honestly very beautiful. The four-piece cookware set is such a game-changer. I love it so much. I even display it on top of my stove top because it's just so pretty. It comes with two always pans and two perfect pots, which are coming in different sizes. It's great. They replace a whole pile of bulky cookware, letting you saute and sear, fry, roast, boil, basically everything, all in just four pieces.

18:46And I wanted to mention the Wonder Oven. It's an air fryer and toaster oven in one. It's sold out eight times for a reason. Cooking at home feels simpler, safer, and actually enjoyable. Stop cooking with Toxic Cookware and upgrade to our place today. I'm excited for you guys. Visit fromourplace.com slash almost 30 and use the code almost 30 for 10 % off site wide. With a 100-day risk-free trial, free shipping, and returns, you can try it completely worry-free.

19:18Okay. So I want to move on to an inventory part of this conversation. the goal is to kind of give you like this compassionate dashboard of sorts without making it a dramatic identity crisis. I want to kind of take inventory of your health and relationships and alignment. So starting with health, I think a biggie is stress. You know, stress psychology says that chronic stress load, which is an allostatic load, they call it. It impacts sleep, immunity, mood, cravings. So health isn't just willpower. It is like these silent killers. Honestly, I think stress is a silent killer. It's something that we absolutely need to be concerned about or maybe just aware of.

20:16And it's about the small, consistent changes, the small consistent actions. It's not about changing your life 180 tomorrow.

20:27Your behavior over time will change. And so for me,

20:34I've really neglected my meditation and breathwork practice. And I know it's something that people are like, oh, eye roll. I'm not going to meditate. Sorry, girl. But I noticed that I am happier. I feel stronger and healthier. I feel more able to regulate in a moment, patient. I feel more present when I have a meditation practice in place or a breathwork practice in place. So important. And so I've begun integrating it. And even if it's just five minutes at the end of my day or the start of my day. It makes a difference. I'm not going to discount like a short practice. The consistency of it for me is what really matters.

21:26And it's also something I can trust myself to do and depend on myself to do, which I think increases my confidence and decreases my stress level. Because I get stressed when I don't trust myself. I'm like, girl, why didn't you do that? Like, so I've just noticed the connections between kind of these little habits, these little like things that I do and my stress. And it's just helped so, so much. To kind of hone in on your physical body and stress, you can ask yourself, what gave me energy this year? What gave me energy? Think back to moments, memories, people experiences. What gave me energy?

22:12What really lit me up? And then ask yourself, what consistently drained me? Were there people that drained you? Were there experiences, daily things, habits that drained you? Getting really honest about this. Check in with your sleep. How is your sleep really? Check in with your relationship with food. How's nourishment? Is it a little chaotic? Is it restrictive? Is it soothing? Is it neutral? Check in there. Um, and what would you say your nervous system baseline is lately? Is it, uh, calm? Is it shut down? Is it keyed up? Just get honest about kind of the baseline so we can be also honest about, you know, where we want to go with it.

22:57And lastly, what is any, what is something that my body asked for that I ignored? That's one that's hard because, um, I think we ignore it in an instant and we don't really take stock of that request. But maybe sit for a moment and just kind of tune into the body and ask it, is there anything that I ignored that you asked for? Okay, moving on from health to relationships. So we know about attachment theory. We regulate through connection. Relationships shape our felt sense of safety. Relationships are incredibly important, incredibly, incredibly important in our day to day. And there's also this social baseline theory where humans are meant to share their load.

23:47You know, we're not meant to carry everything. Support reduces perceived threat and effort. It reduces stress. So, you know, really taking stock of your relationships, both intimate and even just like by proxy in your work life and family and all of that. Who made me feel more like myself? Ask yourself, who made me feel more like myself? Who made me feel like I had to shrink or perform? This is a big one, kind of sneaky. I feel like for me, I'm not going to name names, but like I definitely notice myself with certain people shrinking and just allowing their energy to take up space rather than me trying to compete with their energy.

24:36Does that make sense? So I'm just noticing that. What relationship deserves more attention? And I think that's a really good question because I think sometimes we take for granted some of our closest and nearest relationships, but we really need to pour into them, you know, and reinvigorate the base reason why they are so special to us. What relationship needs a repair conversation or maybe a boundary? We have an episode on clearing conversations that you can refer to for those, just those harder conversations. I think it'll be really helpful. And then ask yourself, where did I abandon to keep my peace?

25:24Where did I abandon myself to keep my peace? That is also something sneaky that happens. I've done it many, many, many times. Because in a moment, I'm thinking, is it worth it? Is it worth it to like say how I feel? Because I know this person won't change. And, you know, I just kind of talk myself out of it. And I just abandon how I feel. And I'm like, it's all right. And sometimes that's okay. But other times, the self-abandonment is actually just like draining the relationship. You know, It's like then you're not showing up as your whole self. Then you are not serving the relationship and integrity.

26:10And it just gets funky, you know? So I think as an adult, like that is one of my things I am working on the most, like not abandoning myself, knowing when I leave the room. Metaphorically, like knowing when my soul is just like, we out, bye. So notice that. if you are going to kind of tend to some of your intimate relationships, I have a little mini exercise that you can do that's really helpful. It's called two truths in one request. So you can share with this person and maybe you give them this, these prompts too, so they can also share with you. Truth number one is what I appreciate about us is, so you can be honest and sweet.

26:55What I appreciate about us is be specific, go at it. Truth number two, what's been hard, dot, dot, dot, and a request, what I want moving forward. I'm actually using this mini exercise with my husband this coming Friday for a date night that we're doing or date day that we're doing. So we can, yeah, just, we'd like to do this where we have these like weekly moments together, intimate moments together where we can ask each other questions. So this is what I'm bringing to this week. So I think it's going to be really good. All right. From relationships, I want to move on to alignment. So these are like your values and integrity.

27:47So there's this thing called the self-determination theory, and it says that well-being rises when we have autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Misalignment often shows up as resentment, numbness, and procrastination. So if you're living according to your values, you tend to increase meaning and follow through. which I think most of us desire. And so to check in on your alignment, you can ask yourself these questions because I think sometimes it's kind of this like ambiguous concept. It's like alignment. Okay. What? First question, when did I feel most like myself this year? When did I feel most like myself?