850. You Need to Stop Trying So Hard: Why Forcing Is Blocking Your Flow

19:50And a lot of people saying, hold on, like this isn't really the life that I

19:56Lindsay Sibson:want and I don't want to keep going this way. And this doesn't feel real to me. This doesn't feel right. So I think we're seeing this dichotomy and I feel like it's coming together into more of what, you know, getting back to authenticity. Because if you think about it, authenticity is sort of the melding of the light in the dark. It's not this like fakey, like I'm just, you know, happy all the time or like the fake positivity, all that. It's just sort of saying, hey, I'm really struggling, but I'm learning. And that's really where I feel like I'm at. I'm like, you know what? Like, ah, I have these old triggers and I'm going to sit with myself and go into my heart coherence practices instead of project them out or channel it into my old pattern, which is like more doing, I'm not good enough and sort of sit with that and grow.

20:45Lindsay Sibson:And it just creates so much more inner peace.

20:48Kimberly Snyder:Can you break that down a little bit more slowly? Like, so what would you do if an old trigger comes up? So for anyone listening, they have an old trigger that comes up. What is the old way of doing with that? And then what would be the best way to use the heart coherence to sort of work through that?

21:02Lindsay Sibson:Yeah. So a lot of practices are battling the thoughts and the triggers from the mind, right? It's like, what's the number one thing people say about meditation? They sit and then the thoughts come in and they don't really meditate. They're just trying to fight their thoughts or just spending a lot of time up there. So what's really powerful about this work is we're traveling that, you know, few inches, but this powerful journey down into the heart. And what research published in the American Journal of Cardiology shows that how naturally I touch my heart. Bring your awareness here. Just doing that, Krista, is the beginning of rewiring your nervous system.

21:43Lindsay Sibson:So if you're listening to this and you're driving in your car or you're doing the dishes or walking your dog, you don't even have to put your hand on your heart. If you just place your awareness on your heart, that's how powerful we are. Again, you're changing the input signal from your heart to your brain. Your heart actually sends more messages to your brain than vice versa. Wow. So we did a research study with the Heart Math Institute, which has been studying heart coherence for, I think, over 35 years now. And we took 30 participants. It was really fun doing a research study after reading thousands over the years.

22:18And we took them in the lab and we measured their heart coherence,

22:22Lindsay Sibson:which is basically not just your HRV numbers, but it's the pattern. You can look at how jagged or how smooth your heart patterns are, you know, simplify. And then we gave them this meditation track with these simple steps. And we just said, you know, practice this four to five times a week. We had to trust they were going to do it, right? We don't know. I did a group one once a week with the group. And then we came back and in four weeks, their heart coherence, getting into coherent state was increased on average 29%, something almost 30 % in a month. So what does heart coherence mean. It also has a lot of physical benefits.

22:59Lindsay Sibson:We live in a world where everybody's trying to do all these, and some of them are amazing, the red light, the biohacking, the cold plunges. But when we're coherent, we don't age as quickly because it means all your systems are more entrained. So there's more energy efficiency. You know, when you're stressed, let's say you got a piece of bad news and you're like eating something for lunch and you check your phones, like what happens? Like I know my stomach starts to hurt. So immediately the stress response comes, cortisol is released. So energy's pulled out of your GI tract and get bloated. Your hormones get out of whack.

23:29Lindsay Sibson:Again, the cortisol goes up, DHEA plummets. So when you're coherent and you're able to move through, you just save so much more energy. And there's other research in the book around cortisol going down, DHEA going up 100%.

23:45Kimberly Snyder:And DHEA is a precursor to hormones.

23:47Lindsay Sibson:Yeah.

23:48Kimberly Snyder:So it helps people. I actually took it for a while. I got my blood test. My hormones were kind of off. And what's nice about DHEA is that it supports your body and creating the hormone that it needs, not just putting in like a different hormone.

23:59Lindsay Sibson:Exactly. Like it's, you know, it could, it could turn into testosterone, estrogen, progesterone. Yeah. It's actually amazing. It's, you know, said to be one biomarker for vitality. So I got my blood work too, done a couple of months ago and I don't, you know, my husband's a big, like, you know, I know, you getting blood work makes me happy. So I did the blood work and it was, and they looked at my whole hormone profile because you want to look to make sure like something's not overly high. Obviously it's all balanced, but it was the DHEA of an 18 to 22 year old woman. And from, so what's powerful about these practices to go back to it is you can change your hormones from these practices, which again, our heart aligned meditation is only eight minutes.

24:42Lindsay Sibson:So it starts with focusing on your heart and then you can focus on your heart while you start to do a certain breath pattern. There's coherence breathing and then you just do a couple steps. But I just want to emphasize how powerful we all are. You're not taking something. You don't need a device. You're not having to inject something. It's something that we can do. It just shows again, when these ancient cultures from all around the world, everywhere the Torah, the Quran, the word Kelb is mentioned 132 times, which translates to heart, the anahata chakra all around the world ancient spiritual traditions have always extolled the heart's power so like you said people in our world are like well what do i do to manifest yeah what give me the peptides or like all these things and that can be great too but it feels to me and i know for myself we're under utilizing this incredibly powerful tool which we all have

25:37Kimberly Snyder:it was interesting last week i was in london and i was with i was with a friend and i had just gone I was in Florida the weekend before, and I flew from Florida to London, and my dad's really sick. Oh, sorry to hear that. Yeah, I was with my dad all weekend. So when I landed in London, my friend after the first day was like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm fine. She's like, you don't feel like you're in your heart. And she's like, you're normally so in your heart, and it's very obvious that you're not in your heart. And it was so helpful because she was so right, and I couldn't put my finger on why I felt so off.

26:10Lindsay Sibson:Yes. And why I felt so, I was like floating everywhere.

26:14Kimberly Snyder:Like I was kind of disassociated, just wasn't really in touch with my body. I think it was the travel and just the trip. And I was like, wow, that was such a poignant way to explain how she was experiencing me, which is a good mirror. Like, because it was true. And sometimes people can be like, are you okay? Or what's wrong? Or you're kind of off or whatever. But it was like, that was actually what the experience was, is I was out of my heart because the feeling of if I dropped into my heart was too much, you know, that moment, like it was a protective mechanism to kind of go up. And so it was really beautiful because the rest of the week, then I had that focus of like being back in my heart and dropping back into my heart.

26:49Kimberly Snyder:And eventually, you know, a day or so later, I felt so in my heart, I felt so great. And it was like just a perfect guide. And I think when you are in your heart or live in your heart, it's a somatic experience that you understand. But I would say, and I'm curious if you would, if you would say this, like, I don't know if people know or understand when they're in their heart or not.

27:07Lindsay Sibson:Oh, I was going to say when people, a lot of people, first of all, they think they're in their heart, but they're in their head. And then they think these big emotions, like, you know, let's say you're really triggered or you're really angry or you're really jealous. People are like, oh, it's my heart. But actually big emotions are of the ego. When we're talking about this steady heart. It's very, very calm. It's like dropping a stone and then you get to the bottom of the lake and there's just this clarity. So when your heart, when you're in your heart and you're more coherent, it actually, the research shows it changes your perceptions.

27:50Lindsay Sibson:Suddenly, let's say you're incoherent, right? And there's the jagged patterns and you're in the thoughts and then the thoughts are going and you're kind of look at a situation and you're like, you know, she sucks. Like she did this to me. But then when you're really clear in your heart, you're like, hold on here. It's very practical. Well, maybe the way I said that, you know, did this. And then maybe, you know, she was looking at this and maybe I overread that. So there's this, it's just, I say practical because you cut through so much drama and this embodiment, which people are talking about.

28:22Lindsay Sibson:Like when you're really in your heart's energy and awareness, you're really embodied versus, you know, this, you know, the ideas, woke, but you're not really living these teachings, which sound really good, but you're not really in it, you know, not perfect again, back to the authenticity, but you're not like really even being connected to yourself. So for me, when I started to get into the research and the spiritual teachings, it was both working in tandem. So in the Hidden Power of the Five Hearts, there's a section on each heart stage and there's science, there's practices, and then there's spiritual teachings.

28:59Lindsay Sibson:So when I started doing it, I did measure my heart coherence and it was amazing to see the changes. And now I don't measure it, to be honest, because I can feel and know when I'm off. But we were saying earlier or before we got on, you know, this is my eighth book and they've all had science, but this one is where I went, you know, practical science, not crazy. I actually cut 10 ,000 words of science before we published the book. But it's so interesting to see, you know, there's over 500 research papers published on the heart and heart coherence. And again, most people don't know about this. I've been working in wellness now for well over a decade.

29:38Lindsay Sibson:I'm like, why don't more people know about this? Because again, it's free, it's easy, and it just feels so good to be here. So again, back to your, you know, very long answer to your question when I get triggered or something happens, I say, you know, instead of, you know, trying to do all the practices of like talking back to myself or what's really going on here, I drop into my heart. I forget everything. I do the heart aligned meditation, or there's another practice called the heart aligned study in life. And when I'm more in my heart, then I respond. Or then I see, and sometimes some of these practices are only 10 seconds, two minutes.

30:16Krista Williams:You guys, as the days get longer and warmer, which I am loving, I am leaning more into my strength training game. Yeah, me. And I've been loving it. And you all know we don't build muscle without protein. And I'm getting my typical proteins, but I also love bread and I'm not giving it up. That's where hero bread comes in. I'm all about easy, satisfying meals that fit my macros, if you will. I'm not counting them, but I'm just being mindful of getting my proteins and all the things. So I love that I can enjoy comfort food favorites like grab-and-go breakfast bagels and veggie-packed lunch wraps without worrying about my fiber or protein goals.

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34:25Kimberly Snyder:With the heart, I wonder if people are avoidant of being in the heart because they associate the heart with heartbreak and they associate the heart with pain rather than like the truth of what the heart experience is.

34:37Lindsay Sibson:What do you think about that? I've tried to do the heart aligned meditation with some clients and some people. And three things can happen or a multitude of things, but like put them in three categories. Right away, people are like, wow, I feel so connected. It's like there. Number two, some people may say, I don't feel anything. There's like a numbness. Or number three, people are like, I don't like being in there. There's a lot in there. So this is what I would say. If there's a numbness, it's sort of like retraining a muscle. The more we go back or like nourishing or getting your gut to work well again, like the microbiome, the more you do it, you start to re-enliven these.

35:23Lindsay Sibson:There's like nerves and there's again, 40 ,000 neurons. There's connections in there and you can start to bring back. A lot of us had childhoods where maybe there was such big things that happened that we shut down our feelings. We shut down our heart connection or a big heartbreak, or we never got over grief or something happened. And the third is like, ooh, there's a lot in there. Again, there's practices we don't want to overforce or go too hard or push ourselves through. But when you get really coherent, it's been my experience, you can start to go into feelings and feel them through as much as you can handle in a session.

36:01Lindsay Sibson:And then it is like, you know, again, so much of my work is, you know, nutrition and then the spirituality and the heart work. It's almost like you're digesting all the energies, which can be stored and trapped again in these neurons in your body. And then you're starting to release them for the first time, but doing it gently and doing it at your own pace.

36:20Kimberly Snyder:What would you say the connection between the heart coherence was in you finding John?

36:25Lindsay Sibson:Oh my gosh. I was just thinking you were so connected, Krista. I have to take a step back and say there was this period of my life, and I've known you for a while, where my mom passed away. And a few months later, I moved out and I broke up with my ex. And they are related because we got this cancer diagnosis on Valentine's Day and she passed by the end of March. And it was like every completely out of control feeling was thrown up for me, anger, fear, this shouldn't happen. My mom always ate organic food, like everything you can think. I know how to heal this. I've worked with so many people with cancer, like all this stuff.

37:09Lindsay Sibson:But in Dr. David Hawkins, who I also love in the book, Letting Go, he says one big, and I'm paraphrasing here because I would use like heart opening experience or one big experience like that can change your whole life. And I had to go in so deeply to the pain of the grief, that something happened, where some frozen parts of my heart. And again, the tactical, the thinking, the sort of, you know, again, and he's a great person, my ex, but like, hey, we know the same people. We're both kind of in the same crowds. And, you know, like, we look good together. Whatever I was thinking, it was just sort of like, hold on here.

37:53Lindsay Sibson:Like, when my mom passed away, it was just like, well, anything can happen in life. And this is not the closeness that I want. So if that didn't happen, it's like, you know, everything happened. So then, and then I moved out and then I was. The tragedy helps you see things clearly. Any tragedy, right. Or any sort of big change. Like let's say you, you know, you lose your dog or you have to move. I mean, just so many things. I mean, life is so up and down, but if you actually allow yourself to feel and go into it. There's power in that. And then realizing, you know, God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle as hard as it feels.

38:31Lindsay Sibson:And that was so crazy losing my mom like that. So anyways, so then I'm like sitting there and I spoke to brother Satya Jananda. And I know I've told you this story before, but he's a monk at the Self-Realization Fellowship. And he said to me such poignant advice. He said, just don't do anything but go into you. And he gave me a prescription that was very specific. He said 10 months. At the time, I was like, 10 months? So for 10 months, and I think this was the genesis of this book even, Krista. I read the Bhagavad Gita. I read the Bible over again. I was meditating. I was cooking food, but I wasn't very outward.

39:08Lindsay Sibson:And then in that 10 months, I did date someone briefly. and I was just like, oh gosh, it's like the same old like pattern of sort of like okayness. And then I just said, no, like I'm not going to do this. It was just such a clear no. And then there was just almost like this quiet feeling in my heart. I would describe it like a full, I mean, this word is really important, but trust. Trust, like trusting God, like trusting the way, like when you can't see in the dark, right? That's what the dark heart is, by the way. It's not evil. It's just that we don't see. But then as your heart power starts to come forward, you're like, hey, you know, I'm just going to go forward as aligned as I can.

39:51Lindsay Sibson:So when I broke up with that guy because of the trust, 10 days later, I met John at a dinner party. Someone who came on my podcast, who I didn't even know, invited me to this random podcast dinner. Like I knew him from a podcast and this other guy I knew from a podcast. But I was like, I don't know. You never go to anything. So that's very rare. I say no to almost everything. Yeah, everything. You're also gone. And why? Yeah. But of course, this is before we buy it. So this is, again, the clarity that comes, which is out of time and space. The mind is like, this is how long it's going to take.

40:28Lindsay Sibson:And this is how long we're supposed to date before we talk about getting married. And by this time we're supposed to be engaged, like gone. So I met John and he said within 15 minutes, he knew I was going to be his wife. But then, which sounds crazy because here's a guy who went in for a vasectomy who said he would never get married. The next, I was like, oh, I got to go. I got a beach walk I do every morning. And he's like, well, I'll come. I'm like, it's two in the morning. Are you sure you're going to come? It's in five hours. He's like, yeah, I'll come. So he comes. We talk for two hours. And then I was like, again, out of my head.

41:02Lindsay Sibson:And I literally said, you know, I don't ask guys out, but I have this event with Levi's tonight. I was doing speaking for Levi's at the time. Do you want to come? Instead of let me play this little game. He should ask me. Let me not text back right away. It was just like here, present. Hey, I want to hang out with this guy. Do you want to come? Right? So much thinking. So then we hung out, Didn't see each other on Sunday. Monday went out to dinner and he told me he loved me. And I didn't say I loved you back. But I was like, oh, that's nice. Because I wasn't, again, you know, just not quite there.

41:36Lindsay Sibson:But long story short, six weeks later, we went to this amazing journey. We went to the spiritual sites and we went to Petra. And we got engaged. And then we were married less. And then the plane ride home, he's like, that's it. He's like, I don't want to be not married to you. So from the plane, we went to the courthouse. And it was closed. It was like blocked out. But they were like, four days later, you can get married in Compton. So we got married four days later in Compton.

42:05Kimberly Snyder:Where was the wedding? You guys had a wedding, though. So then we had a little wedding in our backyard. Okay, got it.

42:10Lindsay Sibson:And then, you know, then the second house we looked at. I mean, I don't want it to sound like fluffy. Because, but this is really what happened. I'd be like, oh, this is so fast. But when you're in your heart, it's really clear. And then we moved and then we got our farm and had Moses. And I say this because I am someone, Krista, that was so in my head and so anxious. And it's not like everything works out perfectly. But what I do say is when something, you know what it is? It's like the tacticalness of like, oh, I need to do this or I need to work this hard. Yes. The more we come into our heart, I really believe we all are endowed with this incredible intelligence.

42:54Lindsay Sibson:And I keep using this word power, which isn't like this political power. It's just this magnetism, this energy, this knowing that I think we don't utilize. But the more that comes up, I think we attract the soulmates. I think we attract the work and the things that we want more easily. And it doesn't mean it falls from the sky. There's work and there's things you have to do. But I think that, you know, just like your body becomes so much more energy efficient. I think that happens more in life. Yeah. I think with the mind versus the

43:26Kimberly Snyder:heart in relationships, it's like you could have your mind manifest something like we're all powerful creators, but what you're truly going to want or the long haul will be something that you magnetize from the heart. And that means it's going to look like something different than what your mind.

43:45Lindsay Sibson:Yeah. You have to see through all the ideas, right? So it's sort of like, you know, if you read the Tao and it's so top of mind for me, cause I read it again, we're so full of what it like, should I should look like this. This is what success looks like. This is where I should be in my career. This is what my partner should look like, like all these ideas. And when you empty that, there's this clarity that just, you know, There's a statement, and I'm paraphrasing, where the action just arises by itself. It's like an athlete that's just sort of moving and not thinking. So it's like, yes, do you want to come to this speaking event with me?

44:25And so John is completely different than me.

44:29Lindsay Sibson:He's completely tattooed. He has a gold grill in his teeth. He's a huge meat eater. I'm plant-based. He does CrossFit. He does all the things that on the outside are not compatible. But we always laugh about this. and we've done podcasts together too, where, you know, it's like people think if you ski, you both ski or you do things like that. I mean, that can be nice, but there's also this heart connection. It's the same thing with friends. You can't just put it on paper why you are so connected to some people. Totally.

45:04Okay.

45:04Krista Williams:Can we talk about aging for a second? You know, I love to talk about this. I feel like in your 30s and 40s, you start noticing little things. Sleep isn't as deep or energy isn't as consistent, maybe just some changes in your physical appearance. And you're like, wait, is this just how it goes right now? Healthy aging is something I care deeply, deeply about. I think ever since becoming a parent, I'm like, I want to feel as good as possible for as long as possible. And I've spent a lot of time trying to get ahead of it instead of reacting to it. That's why I am so excited about C15 from Fatty15.

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48:18Kimberly Snyder:I was talking about that this weekend. I was meeting new people, and I was like, I just know within the first seconds, when I look in someone's eyes, I'm like, oh, yeah. This is a yes or a no. And it's not like there's a problem with anybody, but it's very obvious to me what's something I want to pursue from a frequency level and what's something I don't. And I think at this point, it's not like I'm mean to anybody. like I'm enjoying everything. But I think for deepening of relationships, there has to be either that heart coherence or just a connection where you see in the eyes, like, oh, this is like a yes for me from a soul level and being in relationship.

48:54Kimberly Snyder:But I think where I think about the heart too, it's been interesting in my path of leaving my relationship and now opening my heart, a new relationship is like, I just, I kind of, and this is, I guess, a vulnerable share that I'm curious your thoughts on opening my heart has felt, I can feel it opening and then I'll get in the head. It's like open, then get in the head. And it's almost like I'm in this process of the opening and then in the head. And I'm having to be really hypervigilant of my thoughts and the thoughts that I have that are making me run or making me fearful and something I don't need to be fearful on.

49:31Lindsay Sibson:So you're saying you're in a new relationship now. So I feel, first of all, the heart journey is nonlinear. Like I was, when I was talking about the stages, we can feel really steady, but then a trigger comes up and then we're back in that dark heart moment, that incoherence, that fear. And we're like, Ooh, right. So it's, we're in and out, we're in and out. And so with John and I, the love was so strong. But what was interesting is, you know, I always say this, our first year of marriage was the hardest year. Now we're going And we're going on seven.

50:09Lindsay Sibson:Why was that, do you think? I think because in other relationships, I wasn't so open and vulnerable. Very true. And I also think I picked safer people because I didn't want to get hurt. So then this trauma came up, Krista. I was like, what? I never thought I had abandoned minicius or whatever it is. And it came up. And that is the power of a truly conscious relationship. is it's like, you know, molding each other into a more clear heart and you can really help each other grow. Because if you're single, you can kind of live out your own patterns and no one's really challenging it and you're not challenging yourself.

50:46Lindsay Sibson:And of course, I don't want to, you know, for some people, the single path is the path, right? All these amazing monks, you know, growing their way. But I'm saying for me and for many of us, the partnership path forces us to look and grow and we have to do the individual work. And then you come together and it's like, oh my gosh, the growth that I've experienced in my marriage with John is more than like any other period in my life. Of course, freedom when I was backpacking in this amazingness, but for me spiritually as a human has been in our relationship. And I think you just have to stay present to what is and aware and things come.

51:24Lindsay Sibson:And then you notice that you're retracting or you notice you're up in your head and it's okay. And you don't judge, but then you, you know, you journal, you do your practices. For me, it's the heart aligned meditation and other things. And then you can digest, you can sort of self-soothe and then come back to the heart and respond from the heart more and more.

51:43Kimberly Snyder:What would a response to a fight or a trigger look like in a relationship versus not in the heart? So I think when ego is battling ego, then it's rapid, you know, I know for myself,

51:55Lindsay Sibson:and you're saying the same things over and over. Because one of my triggers is not being heard and seen as a child, right? So then I'm like, you know, let me say it again. Let me try to say it again. You better listen here. He's like, I heard you completely. So it's, you know, now when I'm in my heart, it's more about what is this person really saying to me versus the self-focus of letting me get across my point. And it's so different, Kristen. And when I hear what the need is, and I would say, you know, to be open, the biggest thing that comes up right now in our relationship is I give so much time and energy to the kids.

52:35Lindsay Sibson:And John's like, I need more of this. Like, I need more of this. And I'm like, I hear you, but, you know, we're still all together. And he's like, you're not changed. So it's like, he really needs this. And it's really hard for me because I am such a hands-on mom. But then there's stuff for me to look at too. It's okay to have a little more separation with the kids, but it's like really listening to the other person and the heart. Again, the devoted heart is more about connection and what is this person need? What can I give versus me, me, me? Are they hearing me? Are they understanding me? Are they validating me?

53:09Lindsay Sibson:Which is when you think back to that propelled heart energy, what's really driving us? Why do we need to have so many followers? What is it about all the achievements? Like for people we don't even know, like a lot of strangers, like what's behind that? This like need to be seenness that's so widespread in society, right?

53:28Kimberly Snyder:I don't know if it's because parents weren't paying attention. Like our generation of parents weren't paying attention or weren't attentive or weren't thoughtful, but there is a huge need to be seen. Yes.

53:37Lindsay Sibson:And you know, it's really interesting because the heart keeps opening and opening. And I've been, you know, I look back on my life, a lot of propelled heart energy from straight A student to, you know. That's a lot of our audience. You know, wanted to be not enough, like author, then New York Times bestseller, then three times on the list. Like how many times? Like it's just over. It could be anything, you know, in any field, wherever you are. And I can honestly say, especially this summer, a lot of the summer has just been like tending to our trees. We grow cacao and we have honey. And I'm never so happy as just weeding and pulling the cacao and just like really ordinary moments of in the dirt.

54:21Lindsay Sibson:And it's like, what is all this stuff that we're always like layers on top and always wanting to show? And there's just so much energy in it. And now, you know, really my definition of success has so much to do with groundedness, authenticity, inner peace. Because we can hear all this stuff like, oh, money doesn't make you happy and all this stuff. But how much of us really like, how much do we really explore? are like, well, what really does make me feel fulfilled? And in my day, I think the heart is these little moments. Like I'll be watching a bird with one of my kids for a few minutes and it's like, I know it sounds kind of funny, but just watching the bird or, you know, just playing in the sandbox like we were last night.

55:05Lindsay Sibson:Like these become incredible moments, these ordinary moments instead of, hey, look, you know, how many people signed up for my course today or whatever it is. And there's greatness in that too, but we don't want to be reliant on our worth for all these things in the world telling us what success is. I think about that too for kids

55:26Kimberly Snyder:from a sensory somatic experience of like playing on video games versus like looking at nature at birds and trees and how just that sensory experience is completely different. But I've been curious about this. So I was in London last week for tour and one of the questions that someone asked was, you know, a lot of women on their path, like you are now in the trees, you're in nature, you're looking at birds, but you were hustling for a really long time. And I hustled for a really long time. And I'm not looking at birds yet, but I'm getting close. I stopped to say hi to every squirrel on my walk.

55:54Kimberly Snyder:But like, how do you feel like you could be doing this right now if you didn't hustle then? Oh, wow. So many women in our audience are like, okay, but you still hustled to get where you were and now you're chilling.

56:06Lindsay Sibson:And I don't know. Well, hold on. So So I don't want to say I'm chilling, right? I'm still creating, but it's very different. Okay, that's great. Then expand. Okay, but hustling to me feels like answering emails at 10 at night and like doing, doing, doing, where now it's like I meditate in the morning. Today I had to drop both my kids off at camp. I come back, I get settled. I knew I was coming here. I'm going to do a walk. I get really great ideas when I'm walking. So I write notes in my phone. It's very different than when I used to work, which is like get up early, like get on the computer, answer the emails, like what else can by doing, doing, it's a very different way of living.

56:41Lindsay Sibson:So for me, it was C, like I had to maybe go through that to, you know, sometimes you go through a bad relationship to know what you really want. But listen, there's people that have virtually or very little trauma in their childhoods. There's people that get married when they're 24 years old and they have a couple of kids and maybe they don't have that path. Maybe they're on this sort of more peaceful path and it just gets deeper and deeper. I don't think we can say the same path for anyone's journey, just like the right diet isn't correct for everyone. I think we're such unique beings, depending what we believe, our past lives, our childhoods.

57:18Lindsay Sibson:I think we get what we need in this lifetime to keep growing back towards God, which I think is the purpose of while we're here, growing back to the heart. So, you know, I don't think everybody needed to go backpacking for three years like I did, but I sure know that that part of my journey was a hugely instrumental part, you know?

57:36Kimberly Snyder:What would you, so I guess this is probably a question I should have asked earlier, but I wanted to ask you, I was asking before, when we're talking about the heart, what are we talking about?

57:44Lindsay Sibson:So the heart is physical and it's energetic, right? So we all have a physical heart right here. We know it's, you know, it's a, it's a muscle, it's pumping blood, but it also is, which again, many of us don't realize. And I didn't realize it's also a type of a brain. So there's a physicality to the heart and there's a physicality to what it's doing in our body. And we can work with the heart on a physical level to create more health, more hormonal balance, increase our immunity. There's a lot of research studies in the book, but not too dense. And also our digestion, many things. But the spiritual heart, Krista, the energetic heart, however we like to think of it.

58:25Lindsay Sibson:Can I see the book for a minute? I want to show you something. It's something that is not visible with the physical eyes, right? So this picture here, the heart's electromagnetic field. What is it, three feet? So six to 10 feet, actually, in this research study from HeartMath. So we don't see everything with our eyes, right? We don't see the cell phone towers and the radio waves and everything. But there is an energy. And so our brain gives off our frequency. And our heart's frequency is 100 times stronger. So it's what you were saying when you walk into a room where your friend could sense something was off with you.

59:00Lindsay Sibson:The more we become coherent and clear. So true. And the scientist, Dr. Roland McCready, who we did the research study with, used this funny analogy. It's like almost like Jason Bourne abilities. Jason Bourne, those movies, which I didn't see. But he's like, when you walk into a room. Don't ask me any reference to anything. I don't watch that stuff. My husband might know. But he's like, you could say. You're like, you know this person?

59:21Kimberly Snyder:I'm like, nope. I'm not a single person that anyone's ever asked me. Do I know?

59:25Lindsay Sibson:But it's like, you know, you sense more. It's this higher intelligence, right? It's more intuitive. So your intuition, your emotional intelligence gets higher. So that's not just this physicality. There's frequencies. And again, back to this, you know, when I was raised Catholic, and next to my bed, there was this picture, which is on my altar now, still the same picture. I've reframed it. This sacred heart of Jesus Christ. It's not coming out of his forehead. Oh, interesting. It's coming out of his heart. And then there's this, you know, my younger son's middle name is Hanuman, which is, you know, this whole story in the Ramayana where he basically saves Sita, Rama's wife, and they give him this emerald ring and this reward, and he bites it in front of the court.

1:00:11Lindsay Sibson:They're like, don't you want this big reward? And he takes his monkey fingers and he opens up his chest and he unveils in his heart, says Ram, Ram, Ram, the word for God. but he's not opening up his brain. He's opening up his heart. So spiritual traditions all around the world have talked about this energy, which again, there's science in the book, but I think like anything, there's only so much we can measure with science, which is created by still the limited human mind. There's a lot we don't understand about the heart, but what we can see in science is, wow, DHA went up 100 % doing these practices.

1:00:50Lindsay Sibson:Cortisol went down 23%. There is a measurable electrical field. In our research study, we saw 29 % increase in coherence. And there's just things we measure, but I think there's so much more to that.

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1:04:41Kimberly Snyder:How does it connect to intuition? There's some information here on intuition because I think a lot of our audience, they want to be more connected to their intuition. I think there's the joy and the pleasure of having intuitive hits and having an intuitive life. And then there's also the part of us that's like wanting to use our intuition to download a$50 million business idea. But either way, like, what would you say is the relationship between the heart and intuition?

1:05:03Lindsay Sibson:I think the more coherent we become, there's a, that's, that's where your true intuition comes from. The headiness and the thoughts are blocking the best ideas. I think, you know, if I was to, in my head, like, eh, you know, maybe I need to marry a yogi or somebody who's plant-based that's blocking this natural intuitive, like, I just feel this for this person, right? So it's interesting how, you know, when I've interviewed entrepreneurs or, you know, people that have these great ideas, it's always, I'm in the shower and I'm not thinking and this idea comes or I'm skiing and something happens.

1:05:40Lindsay Sibson:Why? Because you're dropped down into this present moment. You're embodied. You're here in your body. So the power of the work, and again, this is how you can become so much more efficient in your day. What I do is the the eight-minute heart-aligned meditation and a workday like today, I just say to myself, and I'm calm and clear like that, what is the most efficient thing or things I need to do right now? And then it's very specific, Krista. It'll say, text these three people, reach out to this person, work on this. It's coming from this really clear place, not here. So when I'm really heart coherent, again, it goes up and up the more you do these practices, you can just start to move through, make the biggest impact instead of just burning all this energy and going back and often have to circle around and like, I didn't really have to do that.

1:06:30Lindsay Sibson:Or why did I overthink this? Why did I write my caption five times?

1:06:34Kimberly Snyder:You know, how is your, I want people to know too, like how much you have going on and how this has helped you sort of organize your day and be more productive.

1:06:42Lindsay Sibson:So I am full-time mom to my kids. And so Emerson is nine. Mosey is just, they just turned nine and five and I drive them to school or camp. I pick them up. I'm with them. And then I also am running Saluna, our wellness brand. And we're just doing this whole rebrand I was telling you about with shoots. We're shooting in Hawaii. We're doing just so much content. There's articles. We have digestion products. There's courses. Just a lot. We're doing this rebrand right now with all the packaging. And then I have my Feel Good podcast, which, you know, is, as you know, lots of interviews. And then I do a monthly show where I talk about our tips for the Cornerstones, food, body, emotional, being, spiritual growth.

1:07:26Lindsay Sibson:So there's a lot. And to be fair, I also have full-time help. So Ms. Elena's with us all day who you've met. And she is like my right-hand person. She cleans and she does our cooking. She picks up the dry cleaning. She helps. So I don't want it to sound like, you know, I don't have, but I always say I can have two jobs, but not three. So I have the kids first and the family and the hubby who needs a lot of attention too and the work. And then I also write books. I wrote two books, published two books last year. So with that book, it was funny. My first book, I was living in New York and I would stay up really late and write.

1:08:00Lindsay Sibson:And this book, I was up at 3, 3.30 every morning writing before the kids were up. So I get a lot of energy just from my lifestyle and the meditations and eating really cleanly. but to do so much, there is a very, I don't have time to mess around. And it's, if I really want to spend time with someone, I'll spend time with them. And, you know, usually they'll come with me on a walk because I walk every day. You've been on walks with me, Krista. That's the best way to hang. Yeah.

1:08:31Kimberly Snyder:I really enjoy that. We're walking. I really enjoy that. Nature, movement, processing, connection, multitasking, what's better?

1:08:40Lindsay Sibson:For me, I spend a lot of time with my kids, so I don't get a lot out of watching screens or movies. I also feel overstimulated by the noise and the sound. So yeah, so I flow.

1:08:57Kimberly Snyder:Yeah, you just flow through your day. What's one study that really blew your mind from the book?

1:09:01Lindsay Sibson:Besides our own study? Yes. So that blew my mind because I I was really interested in doing a study. I think the hormone one blew me away. Yeah. So that I talk about in the propelled heart chapter because we hear so much about hormones now. Everybody's talking about hormones. Everybody's talking about perimenopause and menopause and PCOS. There's just so much conversation and there's a lot of lifestyle and recommendations that I'm all for. I'm all for food and weightlifting. All the things that people talk about, cold plunges and things like that, but nobody's talking about this heart work. And I'm like, wait, this could really help people.

1:09:44Lindsay Sibson:And again, and I hadn't done my blood work in a while, so I couldn't say before and after I was really doing this heart work, but I said my DHEA, like my hormones were, you know, really great. My cortisol was really low. And I do have a lot that I'm managing in a day. You know, there's good stress and bad stress, but there's, you know, even today I was, you you know, we get up before six and we leave for camp at eight. Those two hours are like bananas, getting breakfast, getting my kids dressed. I'm playing chess. I'm painting with my younger son. They beat each other up sometimes. They're hugging, just cooking, like running around.

1:10:20Lindsay Sibson:It's just a lot. But I remember I was sitting at the, doing a dish and they're just kind of like getting elevated. And I just do my heart coherence for 10 seconds, like some of these practices. and then I feel really good when I'm a really centered mom. It doesn't feel good if I'm frazzled. I know every busy mom out there listening to this is like something to feel guilty about. Everybody, we're all trying our best and I've gotten frazzled, but the gift of this as well, and we also wrote a children's book last year, my husband and I called Chilla Gorilla and Mikey Lemur Journey to the Heart, bringing families together.

1:10:55Lindsay Sibson:As I become more coherent, my kids automatically are calmer. I think it's circles upon circles. I think it starts at home and who you are at home. And then it goes out into the workplace. And then who you are when you're in line at Starbucks or who you are to the person you're checking out with, you know, a target or who you are on the highway. If you let someone into the lane, right? It just starts to reverberate. Everything affects everything else. Your heart affects your whole life.

1:11:22Kimberly Snyder:I think the more I focus on heart coherence, I feel like my, I don't interact with anyone that's not incredibly pleasant or kind or amazing. Like, I can't remember. I was in London last weekend. My friend had this interaction with someone that was just like kind of drama, like volatile. And I was sitting there and it was no shame to her because we're both in the same vibe. But I was like, wow, I haven't interacted with anyone that wasn't incredibly pleasant.

1:11:47Lindsay Sibson:Well, you know what I'll say to that, Krista? It's true because on one hand, you start to magnetize, like sort of like goes to like. but I will say that my judgment has gone way down and my compassion. So then, you know, there's a part in the book of the clear heart and the devoted heart where love really becomes more nonspecific. So I used to be more like, oh, I only want to hang out with these people. I'm like this. I'm like these people over there, this kind of person. And now I really enjoy contrast. past. If someone is really egoic or up in their heads with a heart, you can still find a way to connect.

1:12:25Lindsay Sibson:And it's actually really freeing to not be like, oh, I can only be with this. And sure, I don't have a lot of free time. So you still are discerning. You still know who your best friends are. But there's also real freedom and being like, wow, I used to really be bothered by this person. I used to be so judgy. And now I just see the person underneath more.

1:12:44Kimberly Snyder:You're just like it is. Yeah. What was one thing from the Tao that you're learning right now that you really love?

1:12:50Lindsay Sibson:So it's like you read something over and over and it goes deeper and deeper and deeper. And I just really resonate with the part where, you know, the verse that's about, you know, doing nothing and yet nothing gets undone. So doing is the propelled heart. I have to do more. I have to force my way. I'm trying to find love. So I better be out every night when I'm tired. Just this doing. I have to do all these things. I have to keep working at 11 at night. But when you're really just connected to that, whatever you want to talk about, higher heart power, frequency, the true self, things are happening and you're using your intuition, but it just feels like not so much doing, it's just like unfolding.

1:13:33Lindsay Sibson:Decisions are being made. You're just kind of present.

1:13:38Kimberly Snyder:Yeah, I feel like it's been, it's such a more joyful experience of living and things have happened easier, but then also I want less. I want less. Like I'm just like, oh, this is really amazing. This is great. Everything feels added bonus. Yeah.

1:13:57Lindsay Sibson:Like this summer, we're mostly in Hawaii. Like I said, and I'm really offline. I'll batch the work and the podcast. And then when we're there, I'm really present. But yeah, when I'm there, I'll have really good ideas. And like if I want to do a video on heart coherence or I'll write something. And then, you know, all these opportunities are coming up and retreats and ideas. I'm like, wow, you know, you don't always have to be forcing for things to come to you. You know?

1:14:25Kimberly Snyder:What's one practice we can leave our audience with today for supporting them and being more in the heart?

1:14:30Lindsay Sibson:So I would really love for everyone to do the heart aligned meditation. We have free tracks with coherence music on the website, which is mysaluna.com. But really quick, even here, I would say if you focus on your heart, we can just do it really quickly. Like just drop down and don't close your eyes if you're driving. But if you just really tune in and it starts to feel, you know, it may feel new or foreign, but you just focus on your heart and then you start to take some deep breaths and the coherence breath pattern. You don't have to count if you don't want to right now. but five in, five out.

1:15:08Lindsay Sibson:So inhaling for one, two, three, four, five. And then exhaling for one, two, three, four, five. And then just doing that a few cycles, and then you can just breathe in and out without counting. That's 0.1 hertz, which in technical terms is the coherence breath. So it's very simple, but again, focus, it's called heart-focused breathing. And it's something that, you know, heart math has talked about and all this research on heart coherence. The combination of focusing on your heart and doing that heart-focused breathing starts to rewire your nervous system. And then you can come back. Like I'll do it even, like I said, I'm doing the dishes and I'll turn to the boys and I'll be able to respond.

1:16:04Lindsay Sibson:You can come back to that email or come back to if you're having a little argument with your partner or a thought came up or you're feeling whatever. And it builds. So I want to emphasize that too. What's called your coherence capacity, your baseline. There's a baseline for many other metrics, but your heart coherence can go up and up. And then it goes, you know, maybe you have a dark heart moment, but over time you could start to come up more into those devoted and clear heart.

1:16:32Kimberly Snyder:um phases and spend more time there how do you feel like you're in clear heart i have moments

1:16:37Lindsay Sibson:we think we all have moments of clear heart right it's like you're taking a shower and you're sort of doing the dishes and you're sort of staring off in space but i think because of the work and the coherence practices i spend a lot of time in the devoted and clear heart but i still have propelled heart moments and dark heart moments too not gonna put you're not just there yeah We're not like enlightened saints, right? It's like this. And then it's like when you look at a graph and it trends up, but there's still retraction. And the goal is trending up. Yeah. I mean, in this line of work, you know, the opening your heart, when you realize that who we are, I think, is the core of our heart.

1:17:19Lindsay Sibson:Who we are is authentic and kind and loving and peaceful and compassionate. And these are heart-based emotions. They're not heady emotions. So if we do want to live loving, fulfilling lives, which I think most of the audience wants to live, that's why we're listening. Then I think the answers are in your heart.

1:17:40Kimberly Snyder:I'm excited for people to get it. Hidden Power of the Five Hearts. Tell us where they can find you and where they can get the book.

1:17:46Lindsay Sibson:So the book is available now wherever books are sold. I also read the audio version.

1:17:52Kimberly Snyder:Oh, you did? Isn't that fun?

1:17:54Lindsay Sibson:Yes. My favorite thing. I'm like, you know, eight books later, I do love it. I think it's fun. It's, you know, it's a little harder as a mom to block out all those times. But so I had to do it over more days, but I do love it. And then our website is mysaluna.com. See the new branding. And the new branding in a few months. And also the Feel Good Podcast.

1:18:14Kimberly Snyder:Which I've been on. Yes, Krista has come. She's been on our show before. So we'll link those episodes in here. I love you so much. I'm so grateful we got to spend time.

1:18:23Lindsay Sibson:Love you too, Krista. Thank you so much. We've been on our journey for some years now.

1:18:28Kimberly Snyder:I know. We've been doing our thing. It's so weird. Like, I think I told you this years ago, but I remember in my blog, I wrote, I shared your green smoothie.

1:18:37Lindsay Sibson:Wow. In like 2014. Wow.

1:18:42Kimberly Snyder:Something in 2015. I was like, this smoothie is amazing. I don't even think I made it once. I just was like, it inspired me. Oh, amazing. I was manifesting you. So I love the book. I'm grateful for you guys to get it. I love you so much.

1:18:56Lindsay Sibson:Thank you so much. I will see you guys later. Bye.

1:19:01Kimberly Snyder:Thank you so much, Kim. Again, the book you can get now on Amazon. The book is called The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts. The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts. And the book that you were referencing is called Chilla Gorilla and Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart.

1:19:13Krista Williams:Highly recommend for your kiddos. It's so cute. Writing a kid's book would be such a dream. And the illustrations are amazing. I love that. And it's like just such a fun. It's fun.

1:19:22Kimberly Snyder:I love that. Thank you, Kim. We love you very much. Kim has another brand called Saluna that you can check out as well in her podcast that we've been on. And she's also been on our show. There's 800 plus episodes you can dig into now. What I would do is just search a keyword and then almost 30. So you can search aliens, almost 30, spirituality, almost 30, meditation, almost 30, mindfulness, nervous system, whatever word you're really thinking of, I'm sure we have an episode for it. And that can help you sort of find the specific episode for you. Almost 30 podcast is our Instagram. We do clips.

1:19:50Kimberly Snyder:We have really great sliders and carousels that are educational and funny. And then TikTok has a bunch of clips from the show. So you can kind of get that quick hit of inspiration and insight wherever you go. Yeah.

1:20:02Krista Williams:And we have our clip show, Morning Microdos, which I think you'll love. And it's a great way to start your day, five to 15 minutes of the best of the best of almost 30. All right, y 'all. Thank you so much for listening. We have new episodes every single week on Tuesday and Thursday. So we'll see you on the next one. I love you guys. I'll see you soon. Bye. ... ... ... ...