851. The Visibility Wound: Why Powerful Women Still Play Small

27:15And every time you silence yourself to keep the peace, to stay small, to make everyone like you, you stop this energy current. You stop yourself and this energy in your body from moving and you deny yourself the opportunity to not only commune with God and creativity, but like to be seen by people and to be really heard by people. And that's the thing about being seen and heard and having visibility is it's not just you on Instagram creating viral reels. It's also you and your soul being seen by another. This work of visibility doesn't just go again with social media. It goes with soulful relationships and you really being dropped into this experience that you have and this voice that you have within you that needs to come out, that deserves to come out.

28:06So sometimes this stagnation and this loss of confidence and this inability to speak in the visibility womb can often feel like depression, confusion, lack of direction. You can feel really stuck in life. You can feel unseen in rooms of people. Visibility and purpose actually requires energetic circulation between yourself, between God, and between others. And your gifts are activated through expression. This is one of the things why I'm so obsessed with expression and why I'm going on tour this year for the fully expressed tour in Oceanside, Chicago, and London is because this is how you experience God.

28:47This is how you experience life. And this is how you experience your purpose is through expression. Our purpose isn't just thinking about something in our mind and like sitting with it and being like, I really want to help people. It's just like, no, oh, it happens when you say what it is that you want and you say the thing to someone and you learn from someone and you express how you want to create and who you want to be. Like your expression is essential for your purpose here on earth and your expression is essential for fulfilling the destiny that you came here to do. Visibility wounds are formed early.

29:26Much like many wounds, visibility wounds are formed early in life. And many of you have done work on tracking this and sort of, you know, understanding this. But I think it's really important that we kind of talk about this because if we want to understand how to heal things, we really have to understand where they came from. And if you are feeling like you want to be seen, you want to be heard, you want to be in your fullest expression, in your purpose, and you're not, and you're uncomfortable and thinking of being on stage or being seen or being fully heard or being understood or being fully seen in a relationship, you need to heal your visibility wounds.

30:04Visibility wounds come from moments where you realize that being seen or being more visible wasn't safe. So maybe you were dancing in the kitchen and your parents told you like stop doing that, you know, go back to your room. Maybe you were crying and emotional and you got shunned for it. Maybe you had a moment where something really good happened to you. You got an award and then someone made fun of you. Maybe you had a year where you blossomed and you became really beautiful and everyone started to hate you. Maybe you were the class clown and you got in trouble for it. Maybe you were someone that was really popular and then people turned on you and betrayed you.

30:43Maybe you wanted to be seen and you felt like you never were. So you felt this resentment and this anger because you felt like there was this aspect of you that could knock it out. Visibility wounds are literally everywhere. And usually they come through parents or caregivers that were emotionally unstable, check, check, or emotionally unavailable. They come from being praised for achievement, but not essence. So the things that you do, not who you are, which is for so many of us true, from being criticized, corrected, or shamed for expression. So that could be sexual expression, energetic expression, emotional expression, like vocal expression.

31:25There's so many ways that we've been criticized for it. It's crazy. Being told to be quiet, polite, agreeable, or small. This is a lot of the wound of the feminine. A lot of these are feminine wounds. If you guys aren't picking up on what I'm throwing down, being told to be quiet, polite, agreeable, or small. Oftentimes when I work with my girlies in metamorphosis, goodness, I'm trying to decide if I want to go down this rabbit hole, but let's just go a little bit down, okay? A lot of my girls in metamorphosis, which is my body transformation program, have visibility wounds because their mom wanted them to be smaller or more thin.

32:00And so then they think that they cannot be seen or heard until they're thin or they're small. And so their desire to be thin actually is detrimental to their desire to be visible. If you and your head and your subconscious mind are like, I need to be thin, I need to be thin, I need to lose weight, I need to lose weight. What about that is going to be like, I should be on stage in front of people taking up space. If your subconscious is littered and fed with messages about you needing to be thinner or smaller, and then in your conscious mind, you want to take up more space, that's not going to work.

32:36It's not going to work. You cannot take up space while on the other side trying to starve yourself energetically. You can't take in a lot of energy from other people while starving yourself energetically. A lot of times people have visibility wounds if they are parentified because then, you know, they had to take on their parents' emotions. They never really figured out their own emotions. This is the biggest one, I think. If you were bullied, if you were excluded, if you were misunderstood, you most likely have visibility wounds. I think a lot of visibility wounds come from childhood. I think a lot of them come from high school.

33:11High school and seventh and eighth grade. Eighth grade, worst year of my life come at me. Dude, worst year of my life. That year and then freshman year of college, worst years of my life. I should look at that astrologically, what was happening. But just like so painful. And we learn so much and our brain is so impressionable during that time. So, so many people bullied and have those old wounds that they're carrying around them that tell them that it's not safe to be visible. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. So March is all about celebrating women and everything they carry at work, at home, in relationships, and in the countless roles they hold every single day.

33:52I want to take a moment to celebrate a woman who has made a lasting impact on me, my mother. She is just the strongest, the kindest, the most giving, generous, warm angel on earth, just the way she shows up for others, for her family. But we all know how much women carry, and I've seen her carry a lot throughout her life. And sometimes that means that our own emotional well-being gets put on the back burner. I've experienced that. I've seen her experience that. That's why therapy is such a powerful, powerful space to pause reflect, and care for yourself in the way you deserve. I have gone to therapy for the last, oh gosh, I think like seven years.

34:32My mom has done therapy. It's been amazing. BetterHelp makes it simple with licensed, fully trained therapists and a therapist match commitment. Just answer a short questionnaire and BetterHelp finds a therapist aligned with your goals. And if the match isn't perfect, you can switch at any time. It's easy. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform with over 30 ,000 therapists and an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews. It works and it's a place to feel lighter, supported, and seen. Your emotional well-being matters. So sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash almost 30.

35:11That's betterhelp.com slash almost 30. Okay. Can we talk about aging for a second? You know, I love to talk about this. I feel like in your 30s and 40s, you start noticing little things. Sleep isn't as deep or energy isn't as consistent, maybe just some changes in your physical appearance. And you're like, wait, is this just how it goes right now? Healthy aging is something I care deeply, deeply about. I think ever since becoming a parent, I'm like, I want to feel as good as possible for as long as possible. And I've spent a lot of time trying to get ahead of it instead of reacting to it. That's why I am so excited about C15 from Fatty15.

35:51It's the first emerging essential fatty acid to be discovered in more than 90 years. It was actually discovered by co-founder Dr. Stephanie Van Watson while working with the U.S. Navy to improve the health of older dolphins. That's right, dolphins, which is really incredible. Based on over 100 studies, we now know that C15 strengthens our cells and helps slow aging at the cellular level. This is what I'm interested in. Let's get to the cellular level of everything. When our cells don't have enough C15, they can become fragile and age faster. And as many as one in three people may have lower levels.

36:28So I've been taking fatty 15 consistently, and I love that it feels like I'm supporting my long-term health in a foundational way. It's vegan-friendly, 100 % pure C15, and even comes in a gorgeous reusable glass jar. Fatty 15 is on a mission to optimize your C15 levels to help support your long-term health and wellness, especially as you age. You can get an additional 15 % off their 90-day subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.com slash almost 30 and using the code almost 30 at checkout. Again, that's fatty15.com slash almost 30. Use the code almost 30 at checkout. You also could have a lot of chaos in your childhood where then you understood that being invisible means you were safe.

37:14So if everything was crazy at home and you're like, whoa, I don't even know what to do. You're like, I know hiding or being invisible makes me safe. I knew that for me, completely exiting my own experience and my own inner world and my own body was safe. So I would hyper-attune, go in people's minds. I would just be fully immersed in their experience and their psyche and all that to get safety and to get connection. When this happened, when you had these things happen, your nervous system made a very simple decision that said that it is safer to hide parts of myself. this wasn't conscious your nervous system said it is safe for me to hide myself I should hide myself to be safe and then that decision becomes embodied and wired in our system where we're like okay now I believe that it is literally unsafe for me from a nervous system's perspective to be seen this is why too when you go on stage when you put a podcast mic in front of your mouth when you have to give a toast at a wedding, when you have to give a speech, when you have to say something hard, when you have to present at work, your body goes into fight or flight.

38:35Because your body has literally been trained over time to believe that being seen or heard is dangerous. Mom's going to get mad. Dad's going to get mad. Someone's going to judge me. Someone's going to abandon me. Someone's going to betray me. And we're not even talking about past lifetimes here. Okay? Because there is past lifetime woundage that is unique to all of y 'all that has a lot to do with this too. A lot of my clients, when we work through their stuff, it's lifetime of their visibility wound. We're also going back because there's a lot of lifetimes where visibility was not safe, especially if you have a witch wound, especially if you were a powerful woman in a past lifetime, that is a tough one.

39:17And you have to go back a little bit in that to heal. But a lot of working with this lifetime can do a lot of it because the subconscious is sort of like the memory bank of the mind. So your nervous system really is carrying the trauma and the wanting to hide and not be seen and heard into your relationships, your creativity, your leadership, and your love. And it is really, really keeping you from the deepest relationships, the most expressed life, the most abundant business, the most thriving social media, everything you want is on the other side of you healing this invisibility wound, I think.

39:49Because it's like being seen in authenticity in relationships, being seen in your purpose, being seen as who you are, it's like essence, visibility, authenticity, truth, it just all comes together as one, truly. So there's a reason why visibility feels charged. I was talking to the metamorphosis group this week and some of the girls were talking about how recently they had a presentation and they're like, something happened to my body during that presentation where I was terrified, I was sweating, I was overwhelmed, I wanted to run, it was so scary. And that is your body fighting for survival.

40:27Your body is like, this is absolutely not okay. This is absolutely not safe. I need to go or something bad's going to happen. So visibility does feel charged. It's not just a mindset thing. When we're working with visibility, we are working with the body and the nervous system so much. So when I'm working with anyone on this, it is a body and nervous system as well so that we can create safety in your body so that you can be fully seen and heard. So archetypes can be sort of helpful for understanding visibility wounds. I love doing archetype work with the women that I work with, whether we're talking about queen, lover, maiden, crone like it's just really nice because archetypes hit on the collective consciousness you know young talks a lot about archetypes in the fact that it really is something that sort of can help connect all of us because we have this collective unconscious that sort of stores things like archetypes in it so when you think about the archetype of the queen it's easy we all kind of think of the same imagery and then you can kind of embody that feeling of the queen because we all tune into this shared understanding of what the queen is.

41:35So with visibility, I like to work with archetypes because then we can kind of personify it, work with it, and heal it. Personification is great for the brain to heal and work with things. So when visibility isn't safe, these archetypes sort of develop in your mind. These are protective identities that your system builds to survive. They're not flaws, they're adaptations, much like parts. So we could even see this from a parts perspective. You guys know I love internal family systems, parts work. This could be even seen from a parts perspective. The first one, y 'all are going to know this one.

42:03This is going to be, you know, so many people. This is the good girl. Good girls stand up. Good girls, where are you at? I actually don't identify as a good girl. I don't think I actually, I've actually been more rebel, so I'm not a good girl. So love you guys, good girls. You're my sisters, but you are people that found safety in being quiet, people-pleasing, and agreeable. So you learned it is safe for me to be quiet, people-pleasing, and agreeable. Visibility for you, like I said earlier, that client I had, feels selfish. Okay? You think if I'm taking up space, I am being selfish. That is bad of me because I'm a good girl.

42:48I let everyone else take up space. Oh, you good girls. I tell you what. I think my rebel part is always like good girls. I don't mean to judge. Okay. I just like, I just don't know what that would even be like. You know what I mean? Cause I'm just like, I think there, I'm just so active where I'm like, come on. So could be a good girl. Love you. Good girls. The next one is the performer. This is where I step in. The performer needs to be, God, this is so crazy. The performer learns to be impressive to be loved. So my performer part, honey, she needs to be the smartest one in the room, the most well-read person in the room.

43:32She needs to have something interesting and prolific to say. I remember when I'd go to like workshops or retreats or trainings, I'd be in women's circles and I'd be like, if I am not dropping the mic, okay, I am not even going to speak. I need to bring these women to tears or I'm not going to talk. So I have this part of me that's like, unless it's literally the most insanely impressive thing, I'm not even talking and I need to be impressive to be loved. So with my parents, I had to be incredibly impressive to be loved. Visibility, y 'all. Oh my God. Let me just take a moment for this to honor the exhaustion.

44:13Visibility feels and becomes exhausting because each time you're out at a place, you're like, all right, performer part, strap in, step forward. It's time to be the most impressive, interesting person in the room. and if not, we're bad. We failed. So the performer, performer feels exhausted and the performer has to be the most impressive person in the room. So you stop yourself from being visible because you're like, if it's not fucking amazing, I'm not going to do it. The third one, so we have good girl performer. The third one is the caretaker. This is, can relate. I think a lot of you guys are this one.

44:52The caretaker learns to focus on others to avoid being seen. Ooh, honey. hurts me, hurts me deeply, hits me, hits me in a real way. Feel it in my gut. Feel my palms sweating. Your needs disappear. I used to be so like malleable. I'd be like, I don't even know I had a body. Like someone would be like, oh my God, I love your shirt. I'd be like, who's wearing a shirt? Like what? I'd be like, oh my God, my body's here. so I would so much focus on others I had one time a good example as a story to understand the caretaker a friend say she's like I love you and you're so giving and you're so loving and you so show up for people but you almost give so much that it's almost like there's an arm in front of you and you don't ever let anyone in or take care of you so you so much focus on everyone else's needs to be seen this is the nurses this is the teachers this is the healers this is people that are just codependent, really focusing on everyone else's lives to get them out of their purpose.

45:56I have had clients like this where I've seen them until working with me, completely disregard their purpose and what they came here to do because they're prioritizing everyone else's needs over their own, their team, their partner, their perception of their parents' needs. Like this is freaking huge. This caretaker, huge one. The intellectualizer is the mind instead of the body, baby. They explain instead of express. You can see and understand this part or this archetype a lot of times when you see people speak. There's an experience that happens when someone becomes magnetic when they're speaking.

46:37You're like, damn, I am on every freaking word of what they're saying because they feel it in their body. They're telling the truth. They're congruent. They're aligned. You're like, oh my God, it's magnetic. They're fully embodied in their truth. And then there's someone that's like, yeah, so there's 300 million studies of this that go up the research ladder. And if you really look closely at the longitudinal studies, you're like, what the, you're like a sleeping because they're just in the mind. So they hide themselves from actually being seen because they intellectualize everything and they don't allow it to move through their body.

47:15and be their creative force and their essence. So the intellectualizer stays in the mind instead of the body. I have one of my clients like this who's really great at her job because she's learned to be an amazing intellectualizer. She knows the data. She knows the research. She knows the contracts. And she's not in her body at all. And so she explains everything instead of expressing it. And so we have to get her in touch with her heart and the truth and her body to move energy naturally instead of just intellectualizing. You are being seen by data, but not by the truth. Okay. So I have to share something that has been such a game changer for my mornings, especially paleo valleys, bone broth protein.

47:58I love it in chocolate. I share about it all the time. This is replacing my coffee in the morning. It's just so nourishing. So yummy. If you're like me and you care about gut health, skin, hair joints, but you also want something that's really clean and easy. This is it. It's made from 100 % grass-fed bone broth, and it's so simple to add into your routine. I throw it in with hot water and it's delicious, but I can also add it to my coffee. I add it to smoothies for myself and for my son. It's delicious. What I love is that it's not filled with junk, no weird fillers, no artificial ingredients, just real nourishment that actually supports your body.

48:35And it's gentle on digestion, which for me is everything. I found that when I was waking up and just having coffee first thing, it was not the vibe. Okay. And this is something that is both gentle, but also giving me a ton of protein. I had two scoops to like a nice big mug with hot water. And sometimes I'll add a dash of milk, but you don't need to because there is, I believe coconut milk powder in this that is just so yummy. It makes it creamy, but it feels like it's one of those small upgrades that really adds up. My younger self would have benefited from something like this so much in my mornings.

49:10If you want to try it, head to paleovalley.com slash almost 30 or use code A30 at checkout for 15 % off your first purchase. Again, my favorite is the chocolate, but they have other flavors that are just so delicious. Check it out paleovalley.com slash almost 30 or use code A30 at checkout for 15 % off. Okay. A few years ago, I learned something that changed my entire kitchen. and I need you to know about this if you don't know already, most nonstick cookware still contains forever chemicals like PFAS. So these are the things that will not leave your body, which can leach into your food and your home, even some air fryers and utensils contain them.

49:47And once I knew that, I was like, no, we're upgrading. That's why I switched to Our Place. Their cookware is completely toxin-free, no PFAS, no Teflon, but the performance is unreal. The nonstick is so good. eggs just glide out and it's ridiculously easy to clean that's one of my uh non-negotiables when it comes to cookware i have the four piece cookware set two always pans and two perfect pots it's a great set this covers almost everything and it replaces a whole stack of like bulky pans i used to have you can sear saute steam bake boil everything and buying the full set saves you i think like$150 plus they all match in those gorgeous colors.

50:28You can have these on your stovetop just to display and people will be like, wait, what are those? Those are beautiful. I also have the dream cooker, which is phenomenal. It's a pressure cooker. It's a slow cooker. You can sear in there. It is phenomenal. Highly recommend. I make my famous coconut bone broth rice in there. And then I also just got the wonder oven. Yes, this is an air fryer. It's an oven. You can dehydrate things in there. It is an all-in-one and it's non-toxic. Our place is incredible. Stop cooking with toxic cookware and upgrade to our place today. Visit fromourplace.com slash almost 30 and use the code almost 30 for 10 % off site-wide with a hundred day risk-free trial, free shipping and returns.

51:08You can experience this game-changing cookware with zero risk. Again, that is fromourplace.com slash almost 30. Use code almost 30 for 10 % off site-wide.

51:23So the fifth one is the rebel pushes visibility aggressively to protect vulnerability. The strength masks softness. So this is the person that's like, you know, always being seen at the parties, always like speaking in the circles, always being seen, but like really isn't sharing anything and isn't actually being vulnerable. They can express ideas and concepts and theories and talk about things, but never share about themselves. and the rebel really like doesn't want to be seen for the truth. So this can be very triggering for people when you're like with someone like this because you're like, okay, you're very seen, but I'm not seeing you.

52:02And for a lot of people listening to the show, you know, you guys that are deep feelers and empaths and people that read energy, this is a tough one because you're like, you are being so loud and so obnoxious, but yet you're literally hiding the truth of who you are. Wow, do I struggle with this one? Because I'm just, I'm reading energy. I'm reading your mind. I'm reading your energy, seeing what's up. And so if there is someone that's like this, that's like not being truthful, but also being loud, it's very hard for me because I'm like, that's double trigger. You're not saying anything normal or helpful, but yet you're also like hiding the truth and love them.

52:40It's one of the archetypes that we have. Their strength and voice and grandioseness masks the truth of what they feel and the truth of who they are. So they're being visible, but they're not being seen for real. The last one is the invisible one. So the invisible one is someone that disappears entirely. They feel safest by hiding completely and not being noticed. So they're just like, I'm out. I don't want to do this. I'm hiding in my room. I'm going to just prop this other person up. I'm not going to even try. I'm not going to even put my hat in the ring. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not for me.

53:15Not for me. That's them. That's them, not me. The invisible one. And so the invisible one, a lot of the work for the invisible one is to find yourself, to attune to yourself, to find how you actually feel, what you actually want, who you actually are, and allow yourself to first be noticed by yourself. noticing and attuning to yourself. Noticing, ooh, who am I? What do I feel? What's going on with me? What is my internal landscape? Ooh, okay. Now I have a form. I'm going to create safety in myself and then be safe to be seen by others. So these archetypes, let's summarize these archetypes. The good girl, the performer, the caretaker, the intellectualizer, the rebel, the invisible one.

54:02Each of these archetypes really did an amazing job of keeping you safe. This is why I love parts work. This is why I do it with my clients is because the archetypes are so helpful for keeping you safe. Each of them was helpful for me. Being a performer, so helpful because you guys now my performer part, my girl gets breaks. You know, when I'm with my friends, I'm like, girl, performer part, you can take a load off. We're with the homies. We can chill. but performer part, when I'm speaking on stage, it's her time to shine, honey. So she's like, girl, I'm about to be so impressive. I'm like, okay, girl, let's be impressive.

54:38It's time. It is time. It is time to shine. But I'm not unconsciously having performer part lead. I'm not exhausted because I choose when she is being expressed and visibility is something that I'm comfortable allowing when she's there. So each archetype kept you safe, whatever it is. but they will limit your aliveness. They will limit your ability to be in your purpose and live your life. So this shows up and these limits of your archetypes, these show up and you feeling called to share, but freezing up, you overthinking your voice and what you have to say. Oh my gosh, I see this so much. And this was me for so long.

55:17I'd be like, okay, well, if I say that I'm uncomfortable, then they're going to say, well, that's your fault. And then I'm going to say, okay, well, that doesn't even matter. And then what's the even point? A lot of breaking codependency is breaking the conversation that you have, assuming you know what the other person is going to say. So overthinking your voice, judging yourself is a huge thing that we let go in this process. This also shows up with you second guessing your intuition. Yeah. Like you not being in your visibility and healing your visibility wound is also about your intuition. Your intuition is telling you to say something.

55:54It's telling you to go. It's telling you to help people. It's telling you that you're made for more. And yet this visibility wound is keeping you from listening to the actual truth of your intuition. You crave being seen, but you hide at the same time. When you have these visibility wounds, your self and your parts and the truth of you really wants to be seen, but you hide at the same time. This is not just about being confident. This is not a confidence thing. This is about your nervous system remembering the trauma or the experiences that happened to you previously and pulling upon that data to keep you safe.

56:29So an example of you wanting to be seen and hide at the same time, I remember being an experience with a past relationship and they didn't like when I would be really like sparkly and shiny and get a lot of attention. They loved it when we first started dating, but not at the end. And I remember being at this event and I was like, just crushing. My performer part was crushing. Everyone was laughing. I was making the jokes. I mean, life was good. And then when I leave, I get in trouble. He is not pleased with the fact that I've taken up and gotten all the attention. And so my nervous system was like, yep, can't be sparkly, can't be shiny.

57:08It's not safe. So I want it to be seen because I love making people laugh and sharing and expressing and just, you know, creating conversation and all of that. But then my nervous system was taught that it is bad and I needed to hide because if I did become seen, I would lose attachment and I would lose the relationship. So my nervous system learned that I wanted to be seen and hide. So my nervous system was like, I really want to be seen because it's my truth. And I also need to hide because I need to keep attachment. And so a lot of people within their parents or even relational dynamics have learned this issue.

57:45So when we work on healing the visibility wound, kind of transitioning to talking about the healing of this wound, visibility healing really is nervous system healing. So you don't heal visibility by forcing confidence, by like, you know, being like, it's all good. You have to bring the body and you have to create internal safety. So your body has to believe it's safe to exist out loud. One of my favorite practices that I do with my clients, what I'm going to be doing at Fully Expressed and in the Mastermind is to actually practice being fully seen. So this is an exercise that y 'all can do. Sitting in the comfort and safety of your home, in your bed, wherever is safe for you, having your body feel completely safe, what you're going to do is close your eyes.

58:28So now that you're comfortable and you feel safe in your body and you feel like, okay, physically, I know for a fact I'm safe, you're going to close your eyes and you're going to visualize yourself and your most expressed state, the dream state of your most expressed self, whether that's on stage in front of Madison Square Garden, at the Oscars, whether that's at a boardroom speech, whether that's holding hands with someone that you love, telling them you love them, whether that's growing on social media and speaking to camera, whatever that is for you, that your soul wants to be seen and heard doing.

59:02And through the visualization, activating your nervous system to respond because your subconscious mind is connected. It's not seeing if it's reality or not. It's going to activate your nervous system. So you're going to feel the response that is the truth of your wound. So that's, I'm anxious. I'm scared. I'm sweating. My heart is racing. I'm overwhelmed. Your body will tell you what your nervous system thinks of that. and so in the safety of your home you regulate your nervous system in the experience that you're having in your mind so in the safety of my own home I'm hand on my body I'm just kind of regulating I'm relaxing into the body I'm deepening the breath and I'm allowing myself to oscillate in and out of the experience with the activated nervous system regulating my nervous system so that I finally feel safe in the visualization of my biggest most visible life your body needs to feel safe in this experience so a few other things that you can do in this process besides that really powerful exercise that I love to do with my clients is regulate before you express so before you are in a meeting or something big that you really want to be seen and heard in put your hand on your chest put your feet on the ground feel your feet and just allow almost the feeling of a channel opening.

1:00:25So, you know, from the crown of your head, energy moving all the way down your spine, through your legs, through your feet. You can imagine that channels opening to heaven, opening to your spirit guides, to your angels, to the truth of your essence and who you are. I love to connect to God before I get on stage. I'll just attune my channel to God. And I'll just say, God, move through me like nothing but the highest for this experience. like help me move out of the way so that you can move through me. So attuning your channel and regulating that space before you express is huge. And what happens here, the one thing that people get wrong that I want you to pay attention to, people stop too quick.

1:01:04So they'll take a second. They'll be like, hand on chest. Okay. Open channel. Okay. You need to actually somatically feel this experience happen. You need to feel the regulation, the slowdown, the feet on the ground. This could take a minute, two minutes, three minutes. Give yourself time. It will get faster and easier over time, but it's going to take a second for you to literally feel a channel opening to heaven and like energy moving through your body. Your presence is what opens up this channel. And this channel is for your essence. This channel is for God. This channel is for your highest self.

1:01:38This channel is for the truth of what you want to be seen and heard and the truth that goes beyond any wounding that you have. The second thing that I want you to do is acknowledge the protective archetype. So acknowledging your rebel, your invisible one, your performer, your good girl, acknowledge her. That's what I do with my performer. I'm like, hey, sis, you know, we're at dinner. You don't need to do this. You don't need to try so hard right now. I love you, sister. Sit next to me. But I'm in charge. Self is here. I can be myself. And then when I'm on stage, I'm like, girl, get ready because it's performer time.

1:02:15It is time to turn on the lights to put on a show. I acknowledge that protective archetype and how she has served me so well. I acknowledge how she has helped me and I give her another role or help soothe her to relax her so that I can be seen. So invisible one, love you, girl. I love you so much. You are the best. Sit next to me because it's time for the queen to step forward. It's time for the truth of me to step forward. So acknowledging that protective archetype and loving her, essential. Okay. One of my goals for 2026 was to actually train consistently. It's hard as a mom, but I'm doing it.

1:02:54I'm committed. That means I'm lifting heavy and trying to build as much muscle as possible, just, you know, getting healthy. But honestly, the hardest part about this for me has been getting the right amount of protein to support my workouts. It's very important that you are having enough protein as you're trying to build muscle. With everything I have going on, I need my nutrition to be simple, even like mindless. So that's where cachava has been so important, so huge for me. It's basically my go-to all-in-one shake when I don't have time to really overthink meals. Two Scoops has 25 grams of plant-based protein, six grams of fiber, greens, adaptogens, and it actually tastes amazing.

1:03:36I love the chocolate mint right now. I also love the chocolate. I blend it with frozen banana and almond butter, macho with iced coffee. It just depends on the time of day and I love it so much. It supports my energy, digestion, strength, all the things I need to stay consistent and keep putting on muscle. And I love that it's non-GMO, no soy, no animal products, no gluten, no artificial flavors or sweeteners, just real ingredients. And it tastes amazing. So stick with your wellness goals. Go to cachava.com and use code almost 30 for 15 % off. That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com. The code is almost 30.

1:04:15You all know I love Revolve for when I need a really cool outfit it for something, or even when I just want to refresh my basics. I'm a basics gal, but they have to be elevated. They have to be fresh. Whether it's for a day date with my hubby that I've been doing on a weekly basis, dinner with friends, or recording this podcast, I do need looks. So I honestly don't look anywhere else but Revolve. It is so easy to shop on Revolve. It is a joy. It is a pleasure. And I highly recommend. I recently got a few pieces I am obsessed with. First of all, I've just overhauled all my sweaters in my closet.

1:04:48I just feel like I am a big girl now and I need to get really nice sweaters that don't just fall apart the next day. And so I have a bunch that I wore recently on my trip to LA with Krista. And then I do have this top that I've had for a little bit now, but it is from Revolve. It's this like off the shoulder. It's so cute, little buttons, and I'm obsessed. So you can search anything on Revolve and it'll pop up. The search engine is amazing. And what I really, really love, it makes it so easy to shop with curated edits. It's really awesome. I go to the curated edits all the time for every occasion, whether you're going on vacation or you just need like a weekend outfit for a date or for Valentine's Day.

1:05:29Recommended for you picks are also amazing based on your style. They get to know you. No endless scrolling, just instant inspo. They have over 1 ,200 brands and 100 ,000 styles. Think like high-end labels, emerging designers, and all the trends you love with sizes from extra, extra small to 4X, new arrivals daily, and fast free shipping and returns. The free shipping and returns. It is insane. I love it so much. Makes it easy. Honestly, I'm already eyeing this dress that I want to get for the spring, this like really long, beautiful flowy dress. I'm just, you know, I have my eyes out there for the future coming months and you can too.

1:06:08So if you're ready for a closet glow up, head to revolve.com slash A30pod. Shop or edit and take 15 % off your first order with code A30pod. Your dream wardrobe is literally one click away. The third is starting small and embody. So starting small. Visibility isn't immediately about volume. You guys may not be able to hold energetically in your vessel all of the light and energy of Madison Square Garden next week. Start small. Start with telling your partner what you actually want for dinner. Hey, what are you craving for dinner? Oh, you know, I'm actually, I really, really want Thai. That's what I really want.

1:06:53I really want Thai. How can you make that happen? Literally, visibility can happen in any moment by you tuning into your internal landscape and dialogue and telling the truth. Make it small. Start small with friends. Practice on each other. This is why I love having the mastermind group because there's so much practice and accountability. This is why I love doing fully expressed, the immersion in person because people literally get to practice. This is the one thing about visibility work that I've found is like, I can tell you guys this, but like you get the reps in person. At the fully expressed immersions, again, Chicago, Oceanside and London, like you will get the reps.

1:07:36It's not just talking and thinking about stuff. It's you actually practicing, being on stage, holding a microphone, being in front of people, sharing your truth, sharing your story, sharing your mission, sharing your values. Like there's nothing like reps. And for the mastermind, I mean, it's six months of like deep visibility power work. So like you're getting reps all the time and you are seen all the time. And so while I love to teach you guys this, this is relational work. It's energetic work. Like it's so important that you're doing it with other people. The fourth is express without outsourcing your worth.

1:08:13So let your voice belong to you before it belongs to the world. So having your own safety within. So what does that mean? For me, that means having my own internal dialogue and landscape. An example, I was on the phone with a friend this morning and she was saying something. She was giving me advice and I was like having an internal dialogue. I'm listening. I'm like, oh yeah, uh-huh. And then my internal dialogue says she's projecting. And I'm just, I'm available to have that thought. It's safe in me to express in my mind. Well, before I'd be like, you're judging her. You should listen. She knows what she's talking about.

1:08:53I'm like, no, I can think she's projecting. I can think she's, I can think that's not right and that's okay. So have an internal dialogue that is safe within yourself. The fifth is choosing resonant environments. Not every single person deserves access to your medicine. Gosh, I was reading about Neville Goddard talking about demons and Neville Goddard doesn't see demons in the religious way. And this is going to tie back to what I'm talking about, I promise. but Neville Goddard talks about demons as entities that people have that are basically their own fears and projections so if I was to go up to someone and be like I'm so excited to go on stage this weekend they'd be like oh my god everyone's gonna boo you and like they're gonna judge your outfit that's their demons they are projecting onto me their own fears and insecurities completely unconsciously because in their reality, you are judged for what you look like and people make fun of you.

1:09:51And so their demons are coming at me and they're trying to get me scared. Honey, nope. Choose resonant environments to share your truth. Again, mastermind or fully expressed are freaking perfect opportunities for you to be fully seen and heard. The one thing about me, my containers are pristine. This is a part of my dharma and this is a part of what God has made me here to do, but pristine environment. So resonant environments, whether it's with me and my groups or with friends, choose a resonant environments because not everyone deserves your medicine truthfully. And when you can really discern and understand that you're going to be so much better.

1:10:26Quick, quick story about that. I auditioned for a TV show with some friends and I got on the call and I realized that this was like a TV show for like people that don't believe in spirituality, don't understand spirituality, don't have like a spiritual practice. And when I got on the call, I realized immediately that they were going to make us like the jokes and the laughingstock of the show because they were going to call us like the spiritual people, the woo-woo people, you know, all of that. I'm out. I'm complete. I do not need to go to a TV studio to go to people's homes to prove to them God is real.

1:11:05Spirituality is real. Energy is real. No, I'm all good on all that. I have no desire to try to prove myself to someone else and not everyone deserves my medicine. This is a very specific energy that you hold that I'm able to access and we're able to commune in this way. The six is so important and I want you guys to get this. Allow imperfection in your process. Energy responds to authenticity, not polish. Some of the most powerful TED Talks, I read this book on TED Talks, were when people made mistakes at the beginning. They're like, hey, this is really vulnerable. Renee Brown, her TED Talks are some of the biggest TED Talks in the world because she was incredibly vulnerable and not polished.

1:11:45Energy responds to authenticity and truth, not polish. Visibility is absolutely a part of your spiritual path. I'm leaning forward when I'm saying this. You being fully expressed and seen and heard is not selfish. It is not wrong. It does not mean you are doing something wrong. It does not mean you are taking up too much space. It does not mean that you are off your path. It actually means you are on your path. The bigger I am, the more on path and on purpose I am. God is going to bring me and move me in the rooms where I am meant to serve. And I am meant to be big. I am meant to take up space.

1:12:18And the more that I can lean in and understand that and allow God to move through me to do that, the absolute better. So just remembering that healing your visibility wounds and going through this practice of understanding your archetypes, looking at the different ways you can heal your nervous system to do this is essential for you being on purpose and in your dharma and on mission. And that is what I'm so excited to support you in doing and so freaking here for because when you hide, a part of your soul hides. Like your soul wants to move through you in this lifetime, wants to be expressed in this lifetime, wants to be seen on stages, online, on Instagram, wherever it is you feel called, your soul knows you are meant to be seen there.

1:13:01When you speak, create, lead, and share, you really activate these really beautiful dormant parts of yourself. And it's when you become who you came here to be. I am so excited to see what you do, to see what you create, to see who you become. And if you want more support in this, Fully Expressed is the tour that I'm doing this year. I'm going to be in Oceanside, California in May. I'm going to be in Chicago in September. I'm going to be in London in October and it is the fully expressed immersion. So it's a day long immersion where we are going to be going through the entire fully expressed process to get you into your full expression.

1:13:34And then on the second day is VIP for people that are entrepreneurs, have personal brands that want to go super, super deep to amplify what they came here to do because they know they're made for more and they know they want to be seen. And then the mastermind. So it's going to be super intimate. There's only 12 women. There's only a few spaces left because I have such amazing women in it already. And this is for women that want to be seen and heard, that have personal brands, that want to take it to the next level, that want to be in their most full embodiment expression, that want to magnetize clients, leads, opportunities, magic, and miracles, and want to do it in a space where there's a community of women that see them, that know them, that love them, that hold them accountable.

1:14:09It's going to be me doing a lot of teaching and then experts and guides that I trust, that I know. It's like my X-Men team, my squad is coming in to help you build your brand and business in a way that would never happen without this group and this magic. So it's Krista.com, I-T-S-K-R-I-S-T-A.com for both of that. It's Krista.com. I would love to see you. I would love to have you. This is like my frigging favorite thing to do is see women absolutely transform and evolve. The testimonials from fully expressed are like, I literally changed my whole life. I changed my whole business. I built a whole business.

1:14:47I did a Ted talk. I actually got a raise. I got a promotion. I finally find the man because I expressed my needs. It is like a whole experience. And so I would love to see you there. So if this is something that resonates with you, highly suggest coming with a friend, whatever it is. I can't wait to support you. And for the mastermind. It's Krista.com slash mastermind. It's Krista.com slash mastermind. And then you can apply there. It's application only. So you're the best. I'm proud of you. You're doing the work. You're here on purpose, on mission. You're showing up every single day. I got you fam.

1:15:23It's Krista on Instagram, I-T-S-K or I-S-T-A. Then you can find all my solos on Almost 30. We have 800 episodes of amazingness and fun. And you're just incredible. You're doing the damn thing. I love you. Almost30.com. Almost30podcast on Instagram. We are on YouTube. I hope you're watching me on YouTube and seeing my face. Almost30podcast on TikTok and Instagram. Okay, guys, you're the best. I can't wait to see you shine. Bye-bye.