In short
Meghan Swidler’s shift from “masculine” overachieving and control into “feminine” surrender and safety—leading to love—plus how her health/detox background frames her approach to cleansing and rebuilding her nervous system.
Guest background
Meghan Swidler is an LA-based health and wellness expert who works one-on-one on detoxification/cleansing. She previously worked in venture capital and has studied multiple modalities including attachment coaching, Hoffman, Kabbalah, and masculine/feminine polarity coaching.
Key claims
- Many women feel “in the masculine” because they don’t feel safe enough to be soft; safety must be created internally.
- If a relationship dynamic isn’t safe, trying to “go feminine” won’t work—sometimes leaving the dynamic is necessary.
- In dating, anxiety may be caused by the situation/container, not a personal defect (reframing “anxious attachment”).
- Love and attraction improve when both partners take responsibility for the polarity dynamic; acts of service can help soften a partner.
Notable examples
- She quit a venture capital job the day after a transformative coaching session during COVID quarantine in Canada.
- She ended a toxic, narcissistic-leaning relationship; days later her golden retriever died suddenly (angiosarcoma), which she later felt “freed” her to move to LA.
- She didn’t date for 18 months before meeting her current partner.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOReflecting on Past Episodes
0:45 to 2:29
Discussion on memorable past podcast episodes and themes.
“I think that I was talking to someone the other day and we were talking about kind of their hormone journey.”
The Importance of Detoxing and Feminine Energy
2:29 to 6:09
Exploration of detoxifying and embracing feminine energy for love and connection.
“didn't we have that like really far out quantum physics conversation that I feel like I just like walked away from it like I had no idea.”
Shifting Polarity in Relationships
6:09 to 13:43
Discussion on the dynamics of polarity in relationships and how to navigate them.
“Or like just something about, I don't know, the energy was just off, whatever.”
Helping Your Partner Embrace the Masculine
13:43 to 14:03
Tips on how women can encourage their partners to step into a more masculine role.
“I think women too really just want help.”
Navigating Emotional Language in Relationships
14:03 to 16:45
Learn how emotional awareness and communication styles differ between genders in relationships.
“helping her with as an active participant in your dynamic is going to help soften her and support her.”
The Power of Intuition and Surrender
19:32 to 20:59
Explore the journey of personal evolution and the importance of following intuition.
“Please allow us to be who we are and to serve how we do and to have the most fun and the most connected and expressive way.”
Breaking Free from Societal Expectations
20:59 to 28:00
Understand the significance of living authentically and breaking away from societal pressures.
“Like what, how did you feel and how did that look in your life?”
The Power of Coaching and Personal Revelation
28:00 to 30:10
Explore how a single conversation can shift one's life path and perspective.
“yeah, that conversation needed to happen.”
Parental Expectations and Personal Happiness
30:10 to 34:07
Discuss the contrast between perceived parental pressure and their true desires for their children.
“I don't think my parents thought I was going to be anything.”
Navigating Life Changes During COVID
37:15 to 40:56
Delve into the unique challenges and opportunities presented by COVID during career transitions.
“yeah, like I, I think in that moment, I just, it had been built up for so long that I just knew that I had to take that leap and there was no other option.”
Show all 35 chapters
Personal Loss and its Impact on Growth
40:56 to 42:00
Understand how ending relationships and dealing with loss can lead to personal transformation.
“it helped get more structure and form to quitting the next time.”
Navigating Breakups and Loss
42:00 to 44:12
Explore how the end of a toxic relationship and the loss of a pet can lead to personal growth and transformation.
“What did the relationship that you broke up, so you broke up with someone and then your dog passed away.”
Recognizing Toxic Patterns
44:12 to 46:34
Learn about the journey of recognizing toxic relationship patterns and the importance of self-awareness in finding love.
“you know, ending that relationship and kind of knowing that it was toxic.”
Understanding Attachment and Relationship Dynamics
46:34 to 49:26
Discover insights on attachment styles and how to navigate emotional challenges in dating.
“type of partner that you want to attract, take a moment to take a step back and say like, what is it within me that is calling this into my reality?”
The Journey to Self-Discovery
49:46 to 52:44
Hear about the transformative experiences that led to self-love and meeting a new partner.
“like it's on you of what you're attracting and what you're calling in.”
Manifesting Love Through Vision
52:44 to 56:00
Understand how visions and experiences can guide you to meaningful connections.
“And so can you tell us kind of the story or leading up to when you met your current partner and just kind of what that, how it felt different and just, yeah.”
Meeting Santi: A Nomadic Connection
56:00 to 57:29
The story of how Meghan met Santi and their initial connection.
“And, um, yeah, I had met someone at my, our mutual friend's wedding the year before, um, his name's Santi and he, he was nomadic for many years.”
Recognizing a Healthy Relationship
57:30 to 1:00:24
Meghan reflects on her past relationships and describes the safety she felt with Santi.
“So it must've been like 30 to 35 days straight.”
The Shift from Friendship to Romance
1:00:25 to 1:02:10
Discussion on the transition from friendship to romance and the importance of feeling safe.
“Like, do you feel nervous system regulated or do you feel anxious?”
The Role of Signals in Relationships
1:02:11 to 1:06:33
A conversation about the unspoken signals in romantic relationships and the need for clarity.
“And I think it's really important to feel that safety, that security, that, um, that yeah.”
Growing Together Through Challenges
1:06:34 to 1:08:48
Meghan shares how she and Santi navigate challenges and grow within their relationship.
“And I never felt any, any pressure whatsoever to like transition into a romantic container.”
Finding Love on a Personal Journey
1:08:49 to 1:10:03
Exploring how personal journeys can lead to meeting the right partner.
“And even when my friends have been single, I think they've had that.”
The Journey to Finding Love
1:10:03 to 1:11:50
Exploring how personal journeys can lead to unexpected relationships.
“going to give you a lesson, be a part of the path, be a part of your journey.”
Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
1:11:51 to 1:13:38
Understanding the dynamics of masculine and feminine energies in daily life.
“masculine men came into my field because I created the space for a man to do so.”
Emotional Availability in Relationships
1:13:39 to 1:15:34
Discussing how emotional openness impacts relationship dynamics.
“And, um, yeah, when I come out of that container, I think, I think I need moments to like switch out, you know, energetically.”
Learning and Growing Together
1:15:35 to 1:17:56
The importance of mutual growth and understanding in partnerships.
“most tenderness and his most open-hearted and like how emotionally available he is and how attuned he is.”
Attracting the Right Partner
1:17:57 to 1:23:36
Insights on becoming the person who attracts a conscious partner.
“And I think he enjoys, you know, being in the feminine of flow and creativity and just like softening.”
The Power of Surrender
1:23:37 to 1:24:06
Surrendering to the feminine can open doors to new relationships.
“final step because I had done so much work on myself and I had, you know, I had done all the things, but, um, I really think it was less about the doing and forcing, but really about the surrendering and the coming back.”
Embracing Surrender for Love
1:24:06 to 1:25:49
Learn how surrendering can lead to unexpected romantic connections.
“into that feminine essence that was already within me that allowed that partner to come in.”
The Beauty of Being Single
1:25:50 to 1:27:18
Discover the value of enjoying solitude and self-care before finding a partner.
“Like I really wanted that person to come in.”
Detoxing for Love
1:27:19 to 1:29:24
Understand the importance of releasing fears and beliefs for healthy relationships.
“I mean, for me, at least it happens so fast because it was like we were we were meant to be together in this lifetime.”
The Journey of Healing in Relationships
1:29:25 to 1:33:44
Explore how relationships can serve as a catalyst for personal growth.
“I mean, just to echo what you said, like, it's really wild to think about the parallel between my work and, um, my work doing detox with people and relieving yourself from the physical blockages.”
Finding Yourself in Nature
1:33:45 to 1:36:24
Learn how connecting with nature can enhance your self-awareness and essence.
“yeah, a whole new set of things come to the surface that you literally have not seen in your lifetime.”
The Essence is Within You
1:36:25 to 1:38:00
Recognize that the qualities you seek in a partner are already inside you.
“Like I feel the most myself and at home within myself in that container.”
Finding Your Essence and Overcoming Blocks
1:38:00 to 1:39:20
Learn how to reveal your true essence and overcome personal blocks.
“So just remember that and think about the things that you can do, the work that you can do to kind of reveal those blocks to come back to that essence.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:13Hello and welcome to Almost 30.
0:16Lindsey Simcik:Welcome to the show. It's Lindsey and Krista. We're so glad you're here. We have a time clock in front of us for the first time and I'm feeling the world's going to end. didn't. It says, quit yapping. Keep it. And it's like, let's say one sentence, how long we can land the plane. It is watching that gives you a little bit of anxiety. Yeah. I think when you're kind of timed. Yeah, I got to ignore it. If you're new to almost 30, welcome to the show. You don't need to be 30 to listen. We've been doing this for 10 years. We are spirituality, personal growth, self-development. We like to bring a really curious, honest, compassionate, and loving view to things and like to really just explore topics that sometimes aren't always talked about or aren't always discovered and want to always bring a light, playful spin to things.
1:01Yeah.
1:01Lindsey Simcik:I think that I was talking to someone the other day and we were talking about kind of their hormone journey. And this was like such an ego moment, but I was like, you know, I was like, early on the podcast, we were talking about hormones. I was like, there's an episode I can direct you to. 2016, baby. Just recycle. I'm like, there's so many topics that we can honestly recycle like I think I did I talked about going my sober curious journey in 2020 uh-huh and like now that's like everyone's like sober curious yeah not to say we're always the first but I do think that sometimes we just feel feel the inclination to to bring topics to the pod and sometimes we don't know why or why certain people pitch us early on we don't know who they are but like the topic's interesting and then we find out that it's like we've also done some really weird wacky episodes.
1:54Lindsey Simcik:Let's talk about the weirdest. The one conversation where like the man came over to our house before and was a healer and was telling us that we had a dragon. And this is, you know, it's so crazy about all this stuff. I like, I'm like, he had told us he had a dragon. I'm like, I have a dragon. Yeah. Like so much of the crazy shit. I'm like, I like go, I like walk away and I'm like, I'm like, it's okay, dragon. We won't, we won't tell anyone about your little journey. And, but then he was like, oh, you have like a chain around your neck and we have to take all this chain off and and he had been in jail he was like a criminal previously it was just like for an outsider it was just wild and wacky i think that's one of them yes we also interviewed the highest paid sex worker that got taken off youtube gave us some strikes on youtube alice little it was a really fascinating conversation and like just so fascinating articulate just like Like it was an unexpected flavor to a conversation that I didn't expect.
2:52She talked about sexuality and healing and how it's really helpful for a lot of men that have disabilities, are veterans, like people that can't really get women easily and connect with them and how it can be really helpful for them. Yeah. It was a beautiful conversation. Hey, that's the thing about me. I'm like, sounds great. Hey, YouTube. Yeah. You don't like healing? Yeah. Honestly. Another way I'm like, this is demonic. It's like ruining our earth.
3:13Lindsey Simcik:didn't we have that like really far out quantum physics conversation that I feel like I just like walked away from it like I had no idea. With who? Oh she was like a sweet older woman with glasses I don't remember her name. Oh I loved her. It was quite a long time ago. Fascinating but I was just like this is a little over my head. I loved her I remember her but I don't remember I remember a few parts of that conversation and it was like cosmic code or something like I also remember talking about how the financial system is all rigged and how like you actually don't have to pay taxes. And this is how the financial system like traps you.
3:52I remember that conversation.
3:54Lindsey Simcik:I remember being in that conversation and kind of clocking psychically together that we can't release this. Did we release it? I thought we did. Or something about it where we were like, I don't know. And then it's crazy. And then the next week we're like, this is how you invest in your 401k to set you up for success like we're like okay whatever talking about Pleiadian star seas there's like an episode we did on aliens yeah ETs entities we've done it all oh like healing with water like how remember the one we did on water with the mother water dropper there was this thing that like basically you buy this tube and in the tube it has mother water that's perfectly structured water that structures the rest of all the water.
4:35So you put it in a glass, put it in like a filter and it just, no matter the water, it will perfectly structure all of your water. And having perfectly structured water creates more health, more immunity, more energy, more happiness.
4:48Lindsey Simcik:Balance in your body. Balance in your body. I remember that one. I believe that one, but it was, it was hard to, it was hard to get people on board. I feel like they're like a wand. You know, what's crazy though, is I feel like sometimes the weirdest things we've ever talked about are the things that pop off the most. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. We had the Soma Vedics, which are the EMF little alien spaceships, like crushed. I still have those all over my house. I have eight of them at my house. Yeah. They like don't even work anymore. It's so good. I have one under Mav's bed. Yeah. My little light has gone out in them.
5:18Oh, really? Yeah. I need to like replace the little light bulb.
5:21Lindsey Simcik:Oh, interesting. Does it still work? They plug in. I don't know. That's the whole thing. I don't know. I don't know if the light is what's keeping it. I have no idea. Yeah. Interesting. You know, one that was interesting to look back on and like I was triggered to think about it because I saw like all of these viral videos around the Free Tonic. What was that? Oh my God. Kava. Kava and Kratom. But what was the product called? It was called Free Free or something like that. Yeah. And we had the founder on. And I remember sitting in that conversation. We removed it. We removed it. And being like, something doesn't feel right about the intention here.
6:09Lindsey Simcik:Or like just something about, I don't know, the energy was just off, whatever. Well, it was. I actually candidly never tried it. I think I, yeah, never tried it. Did you try it? Yeah. And I didn't like, I didn't feel anything. Yeah. But anyway, there is, there are rehabs for this now. There are like hundreds and hundreds of viral videos and stories of people becoming addicted and then like, you know, getting sober from this. Kids are like holding up like 7-Elevens to get this stuff, like coming in cracked out. I had a client that was addicted to it for two years. Oh my God. Yeah. It was like took her down.
6:48It was like completely, I don't know if it's the kava or the kratom, but yeah, it was, yeah, you could find so much information. about that. I don't know if they're going to pull it or what, but I don't know. Yeah. I'm glad that we took that one down and didn't like release that one. I remember we had a conversation about polyamory. I think that was with Dan Savage maybe the years ago.
7:09Lindsey Simcik:Yeah. Talking about that, exploring that. I mean, it's just been, yeah, we've, we've had a lot of conversations over the years. I'm sure I would love to hear if you guys remember your favorite. I would love to hear that. Like what has been the weirdest thing? Even one of my clients actually was like, yeah, I remember for a while you guys were doing wellness and I was all in and then you guys started to get really spiritual and I was like, eh, this feels out. And she's like, and now all of it I'm like into. I'm like, I know. And now I'm out of it. And now I'm like, I could care less about that.
7:41I'm like, funny thing because then you're going to be out of it and be like, life is good. So today's conversation, we have Megan Swidler. Megan is one of my dear friends here in Los Angeles. And she's an expert in detoxing. She's an expert in health and wellness. She works with people one-on-one. And she can really help people to cleanse their bodies. She works with detoxification. And while there's so much we can talk to her about her detox process and her method of that, I wanted to focus on her love story just because it was something that was so beautiful and I think gives people so much hope in a process of finding love where people feel like they are hopeless or it's going to be hard.
8:27And a lot of her journey was her going from being overly in her masculine, over-functioning, burning herself out to slowing down, stepping into her feminine, into surrendering and releasing control, which ultimately led her to the man she is with today, who's amazing and I've met. And I think it's such a great example of what it looks like and feels like to let go of old patterns and old ways of being when you're in the masculine. And so many of the women of our audience are always like, I'm in the masculine. How do I get out of it? I want to feel better. I want to relax. I want to release. I want to surrender.
8:59And so I'm hopeful that we can see in her process an example of what it looks like and what it feels like. And ultimately a result that I would love for everyone, which is to find love or to feel better about who they are and where their path is headed.
9:13Lindsey Simcik:Yeah. Do you feel like, because I feel like you've talked a little bit about kind of that shift more into the feminine and how that's like more of a magnetic state for like attracting that polarity and whatnot. Yeah. I mean, it's just like essential. I think I had to get out of my previous relationship. You know, you can be in a relationship. It is possible for you to shift your polarity. If you're operating in the masculine and you're currently in a relationship, that is causing your partner to react and create a shift in his polarity most of the time it means he's slipping more into the feminine or if you're in toxic masculinity you know you guys are kind of in a polarity dynamic so for me I had to get out of that dynamic to be able to find my more feminine polarity because in that dynamic it wouldn't be safe for me to be in my feminine I couldn't slip into that because it wasn't a safe container or space and so I had to leave a relationship to really reclaim my softness and my femininity and my ease and my sense of connection to self and body and pleasure.
10:17And it took a while, but it was like one of the most beautiful pursuits, you know, of my life and has made me more of myself and more magnetic and more radiant, more beautiful. And what that looked like was slowing down, feeling my feelings, committing to speaking my truth, changing the way I moved from a workout level changed the way I ate from a food level. And then the mental work of creating safety enough in my body and my system so that I could allow that more soft and tender part of me to be expressed. Because the most important thing to be more in your feminine is to find and create safety within yourself.
10:56Because for women that want to be in their feminine, you don't have enough safety in the containers or spaces that you're in to do that. So you're putting up a masculine shield. And so I think it's just a worthwhile pursuit for many women. And I'm excited that we have this as an example. I had a friend recently come to me,
11:16Lindsey Simcik:asked for advice in her relationship where she is in her masculine a lot, whether it's with her business, in running her household. And she's really desiring that shift into her more feminine in her dynamic with her partner and wanting her partner to step into a more masculine, strong, dominant, like someone who initiates and leads. And I kind of like talked through it with I didn't really have like a concrete answer. What would you say to that? Because it's like, can someone change? You know, can the other person change and shift into that if that's not something that they naturally do? Or is it just a part of the pattern that they're in?
12:10So you kind of have to shift the energy. When working with people on this and working with women on this, I think there is a possibility for you to change how you're operating and then have the man shift. without even speaking to him or saying anything. I think for me and the preference I have in my relationships is always to have conscious awareness of what we're both bringing to the dynamic. Because that can cause just a quantum leap in how fast you're able to shift if you both have agreements that this is where we're trying to go. Oh, I'm noticing that me as a man, I'm really passive. I'm not initiating.
12:47I'm not stepping up. I'm not, you know participating in the way of meeting you halfway as a partner or 60 percent or whatever the way that I want to shift it is x y and z and then she says you know because you both need to take responsibility for what you're bringing and I think women kind of take on the responsibility of feeling like they have to change the entire polarity dynamic in their relationship in addition to everything that they're doing that's causing them to feel like they can't be in their feminine feminine yeah so you're just adding something else to your list of things you feel like you need to do and i just don't know if that i think it can work i just don't know if it's something that i think i think you should include your partner in on it you know because you can't all of a sudden be like ah i'm now soft and my feminine and i'm a trad wife and it's he's like whoa what's going on here right you know you both are subconsciously bought into some dynamic right Right.
13:42Yeah. A hundred percent. I think women too really just want help. I think a lot of times they're like, I want my man to be in the masculine. I want him to, you know, whatever. And it's like, girl, you just want like help. You know, like it actually for a man, it's, it's not as complicated as you think. It's like noticing she's got quite the load and helping her with whatever she's helping her with as an active participant in your dynamic is going to help soften her and support her. So like acts of service becomes a greater love language. I think when you have kids and you're in young motherhood, because it shows for a lot of women that like you are taking the lead in supporting her in a way that she really needs right now, which can create more softness and more availability for her emotions and even physical intimacy because she feels like you care for her.
14:28Lindsey Simcik:Yes. And that you have awareness. I think sometimes like we take on the awareness of both people. Totally. And we're like, they're not aware. So I'm going to be aware. You know, It's just like such a... And the men don't have the language or the lexicon. You know, I was talking about this recently with my boyfriend. I'm like, the men just like, it's not that they don't have the problem or the issue. Because he was talking to me about, he's like, why are so many amazing women in bad relationships? Because he always sees my friends and stuff. And I'm like, well, first of all, women have more of language and lexicon to understand what is bad about their relationship.
15:03when you break up with someone me and my friends have broke it down up down side to side about his side my side what we co-created so we're understanding things more so it seems like it's worse whereas for a man they break out of the same relationship and they're like yeah just wasn't a fit and so it seems like it's not as bad but they were in the same relationship not processing it the same. Right. So I think for men, they just don't have the language. So you kind of have to help them. Maybe that could be a place where you help them in the relationship is understanding like the language of sort of what you're talking about.
15:38Lindsey Simcik:Yeah. Again, not my journey. I tried that where you have to like, where I had to like dumb down my language to meet someone that didn't have the same library of words and. And also like capacity to feel that deeply into like what's actually going on totally you know because it's like some people might feel frustrated and angry and it's like what's beneath that yeah like they have to have conscious awareness like oh i'm feeling angry i'm feeling resentful i'm feeling disconnected like dude they need to emotion wheel themselves once a day and look at that mother freaking emotion wheel that they show you in therapy for a man.
16:21Okay. So Megan Swidler, again, dear angel friend, you can connect with her on her website. It's meganswidler.com. It's M-A-G-H-A-N-S-W-I-D-L-E-R.com. And she can connect with her on Instagram at Megan Swidler. And she also has a book, Deep From Within. So enjoy this one on love and relationships and slipping into your feminine, a girl's chat today. Love it. Enjoy this one.
16:49Lindsey Simcik:There's nothing better than getting into bed after a long day and feeling completely comfortable and relaxed. That's why I've been loving Cozy Earth. Oh my gosh, their bamboo sheets are made from viscose from bamboo and they stay cool all night. My body temperature is all over the place right now and it's saving me. So it just makes falling asleep and staying asleep so much easier, more comfortable. I am also obsessed with their pajama sets. My husband actually recently got me a Cozy Earth pajama set for my birthday. so soft and lightweight, they drape perfectly and keep your temperature just right.
17:21Lindsey Simcik:It's not, it doesn't overheat me. It just feels really, really good. It's one of those small changes that actually transforms your whole routine and makes your home feel more like a sanctuary. Just changing those sheets, making sure they feel amazing. They regulate your body temperature and they're good for you. And I love that you can try it risk-free with a 100 night sleep trial and 10 year warranty. Head to CozyEarth.com and use my code ALMOST30 for up to 20 % off. And if you get a post-purchase survey, just let them know you heard about Cozy Earth from Almost 30. That would mean a lot because home isn't just where you live.
17:54Lindsey Simcik:It's how you feel. So let's go home with Cozy Earth. Again, that's CozyEarth.com. Use our code ALMOST30 for 20 % off. Enjoy. Okay, I have to tell you guys about Chime. It's literally changing my life and makes me actually enjoy dealing with money. I switched in just a few minutes and it was the easiest move I've ever made. I didn't just switch banks. I upgraded to a smarter fee-free way of managing my money. So let me tell you about it. Chime is built for everyday people, not the 1%, no overdraft fees, no minimum balances, no monthly fees, just banking that actually works for you. With my pay, you get up to$500 of your paycheck early.
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19:16MyPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges$20 to$500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com slash fees info. Advertised annual percentage yield with chime plus status only. Otherwise, 1.00 % APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together for this beautiful conversation and session and please just allow the messages and insights and the lessons and learnings that we've embodied and experienced to serve the greater collective, the greater good.
19:49Please allow us to be ourselves. Please allow us to be who we are and to serve how we do and to have the most fun and the most connected and expressive way. Amen. Amen.
20:02Lindsey Simcik:Amen. Amen. Amen. Just did something. Thank you. Pray for that one. Oh my gosh. Well, baby, I'm so excited to have you. I feel like with almost 31 thing I've known is that conversations always happen at the perfect time. And there's always been so much that you and I could talk about, we could all talk about as it relates to detoxing and parasites and all of your expertise in that space. But I think I've been so gifted in seeing you soften and evolve and fall in love and really like surrender in a way that I think is so inspiring for so many that are looking for love and that are looking to change their life.
20:45And I'd love to do a few things first before we fall into the love story and like the happy ending. Walk us through where you were at this time last year. Like when you were in your masculine phase, like when you were in your pushing and forcing and forcing phase, what was that like? Like what, how did you feel and how did that look in your life?
21:08Yeah. I mean, this time last year I was definitely in my masculine and I'll talk about that, but let's rewind five years before I quit a venture capital job to pursue my passion for health and wellness. I was living in New York, working for a hyper growth tech startup. I had lived in San Francisco before, got a job in venture capital. And during that window of time, I was, it was, you know, looking back, I'm so grateful for that part of my life, but I was really in my masculine, waking up at five, doing double soul cycles, double berries. Amen.
21:47Lindsey Simcik:We know the life. You're safe here. You are safe here. Um, I was actually next to you in the front row, showering, going to work all day, going to a happy hour, going to a late dinner, going to bed late, waking up and doing it all over again and just traveling. I would be traveling seven, eight weekends in a row for a bachelorette or a wedding or work travel to Europe. It was just nonstop. And so since that period of time when I was when, yeah, I kind of went through my first spiritual awakening during my Saturn return and quit that venture capital job to pursue my passion, which was health and wellness and detox.
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22:28walks. Um, that really started the unraveling of my masculine, but, um, yeah, you know, becoming a coach and doing yoga and Pilates and moving to Los Angeles and not being in the city anymore. Like a lot of, there was a lot of unraveling during that period of time, but yeah, this time last year, I was still, you know, even though I'm a coach and even though I live in LA and even though I do yoga and Pilates, like I definitely still think there was a masculine shell that I was operating, you know, underneath without even realizing like it was still there. It was still very much there. Um, and yeah, I don't think I even fully realized it at the time, you know?
23:16So it, there, there was still a lot of doing, there was still a lot of forcing and pushing, even though it was things that were productive, let's say for my overall health and vitality, it was waking up early and like having to do breath work and having to meditate and having to go to yoga and having to hit 10 ,000 steps a day. It was still me being in my masculine, even though I had softened so much, it was still very much present within my life. I feel like that's so common, you know, where this transition going from like hyper-masculine,
23:55Lindsey Simcik:especially in masculine structures like New York City, like finance, all the things. And then when you have this awakening and kind of step more into a more spacious, spiritual, flowy life, but you still have that like program within you to schedule it and have your list and, you know, do all the things. So I really relate. But I'm curious just for people listening, because I think a lot of people are going through their Saturn return and are approaching their Saturn return. What did it look like for you? What did that spiritual awakening look like? Oh, yeah. I, you know, I had been a self-proclaimed type A overachiever.
24:39I grew up in Canada. I went to an Ivy League school. I was like, I'm going to work in Silicon Valley for a tech startup. I'm going to get my MBA. It's Stanford or Harvard. I'm going to work in venture capital. And I created this whole narrative around what my path was going to be. And even though I had healed myself through all the modalities I was using, even though in my free time, I spent all my free time practicing and studying holistic health and healing, I had told myself that that's not a viable path. And in between the tech job and starting the job in venture capital, I had a month off and I had left New York to move back to be in Canada for the holidays because I was moving to LA for that job.
25:24And during that space, because it was COVID, I had to quarantine in Canada for two weeks. When you went back to Canada, you had to quarantine for two weeks. And in that emptiness, I was started to feel this discomfort of like, I don't think that this is what I'm meant to be doing. Like really this feeling of contraction in my body. I'm a sacral authority. And I didn't even know what that was at the time, but felt the contraction in my whole state of being. And yeah, I think there was, I had a coaching session that was really transformative for me during that window. I had heard someone speak on a podcast, reached out to him.
26:08He didn't have room. And then I ended up... Was it Heath? Mm-hmm. Heath? No, not Heath. His name is Ben Harris. And it just kind of came into my field at the perfect time. And through that session and through my own sort of sitting with myself during that window of time, I realized that I was living for everyone else's expectations of me. And I wasn't actually living for me. And, you know, I had a lot of pressure around me since a very young age. I felt like I had to earn love. And so that resulted in me being a perfectionist and being a performer and I need to achieve and please everyone and perform and be perfect.
26:50And that really just caught up to me. And I realized, wow, I'm not even living the life that I want right now. and I yeah I came out of that call and realized that I was really trying to live for my dad and to get his approval and just had a conversation with him and he was just like I just I just want you to be happy you know and there was camp coming out of that it just became so clear it was just like, I just need to live the life that's meant for me. I love this line. The only reward for conformity is that everyone likes you, but yourself. I love that you immediately had a conversation with your dad.
27:38Usually people like process and like cycle and they're like, they kind of like do that. They don't do that even. Are you close with your dad? Is that what made it easy? Yeah, we're really close. And it was like, I was in the house. I had done the call and he was in the house. Right. So I came out of that experience realizing that that was, yeah, that conversation needed to happen. I was starting the venture capital job the next day. I quit the job the day later. Wow. You only did one day. Yeah. No way. Wow. One day. And also too, just like how that one call changed everything. Like that's the thing with coaching or like, it is so powerful.
28:19Like it just can completely reframe or like change your perspective on anything. And I wanted to say one other thing about, about the situation. It's so interesting because what I've noticed and in my behavioral science studies of watching love is blind and love violent and all these shows, I've also noticed that so often people have these deep perceptions of their parents and what their parents think that they should do. And then when they actually confront their parents of like, you always want me to be a doctor or a lawyer or whatever. The parents are like, I just want you to be happy. Like 99 % of the time, the parents are like, I actually just wanted you to be happy.
28:57And I'm not saying that your reality or the beliefs you have that tell you that your parents want you to be something successful, whatever, are not real. But it's really interesting that when you truly confront it and you're like, do you want this for me? And they're just like, no, actually, I just want you to be happy. You're like I've been living my entire 30 years of my life trying to get a master's degree and trying to do all this stuff. And it's also a reckoning for them.
29:19Lindsey Simcik:I'm sure. You've been taking on all of this pressure. You know, most parents are like, no, man, just they like don't. I'm sure they don't process. But I can imagine that like there was like you're saying, like very real. My dad was the same way where there's just kind of this narrative and like this story fed into us from a very young age. Totally. I didn't have the conversation, but I think he would have said the same thing. Like, I just love you. I want you to be happy. I want you to do what you love. And I'm like, okay. Yeah. So true. Totally. But there, yeah, there was, I mean, since I was two, I was, yeah, I felt that pressure.
29:55I was the star child. Like I got straight A's in school. I was on every sports team. I was the lead of every school play. And it just sort of like it, yeah, that pressure just sort of built up over the years and got to a point where. Well, creates this identity and that part of you realizes how it gets love and how it gets attention. Totally. I don't think my parents thought I was going to be anything. So I think that was a benefit to me. You know what I mean?
30:19Lindsey Simcik:Your mom thought you were going to be a lawyer. I thought I was going to be a lawyer politician because I'm a good liar. So that was, that was her sights for me as an amazing liar.
30:32Okay.
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33:37Lindsey Simcik:And you really wouldn't know that it is this healthy based on the texture and the taste. So Hero Bread is offering 10 % off your order, go to hero.co and use the code a 30 pod at checkout. That's a three zero pod at H E R O dot C O. But yeah, I don't think they ever thought it. So it was actually liberating. Cause I had like the freedom of not pressure. Like I had other pressures, of course, whatever, but it was like, yeah, it's so interesting. Cause I never felt that, but I know my sister felt like that. I think my mom wanted her to be like an engineer or something and she like still to this day is like i wasted so much time in school trying to be an engineer because of mom i'm like fuck i think it's also your oldest youngest your youngest but i feel like i act like the oldest yeah that's very old vibes i've always said that and people always say are you the oldest you're very old of how many of three and i have two older brothers oh interesting maybe it was a girl okay yeah i yeah interesting so it was good girl programming, people pleasing programming, achievement programming.
34:41Yeah. Productivity. Yeah. What would you, would you say that's right? Yeah. Maybe not people pleasing. I'm, yeah, I'm very like good at advocating for my needs and communicating my needs. So maybe not that as much, but yes, definitely. Like I remember going to Hoffman and I don't know if either of you have and going through all the patterns. It was like the, that, the, the category around perfectionism and achievement. And I was like, check, check, check, check, check. You're like, you're like cross-preferencing it with your diary. You're like, wait a second. Cause they have different categories.
35:15Right. And you start to feel into like what categories are most relevant for me. And I was like, this one I'm checking on every single one. And so when you had that awakening with the coach and then you talk to your dad, I guess how, why, how was it so easy for you to make moves? Like a lot of people have to really like, they, they find something out and then they're scared and they're anxious. And then they like, like what made you act so quickly? Yeah, it is interesting because in other points of my life, like I've thought something and it maybe there was a window of time between ideation and action where like you think something and then, but I think it had built up over so many years.
35:54Like there were, when I was in tech, I remember, I think saying that I wanted to do IIN, like wanting to do a health coaching program to my dad and my dad was like, well, what are you going to do with that? Or like, what, like, what's the point? You know? And so there was this deep desire to be, I was helping people at my company with health. Like I, there was this deep knowing and desire that I wanted to do this. And I think it took getting the dream quote unquote job. Like I got the job in venture capital that I would have wanted to get after business school. And I was like, got the dream job.
36:31And I felt this deep emptiness that I think there was no, there was no other choice, you know? And yeah, I'm super, you know, looking back, I, that leap was so hard to take and I'm so proud of myself for actually tuning into my sacral, tuning into my intuition and just feeling the fear and doing it anyway, because, and it didn't stop there, you know, for years after a year or two years after, I still felt my ego come back in and be like, wait, no, you should be in venture capital or what are you doing? Or my dad making comments that would bring me back into, yeah, that kind of ego driven place.
37:14But, um, yeah, like I, I think in that moment, I just, it had been built up for so long that I just knew that I had to take that leap and there was no other option. Powerful.
37:25Lindsey Simcik:What was it like to go from kind of a short thing, a short paycheck, you know, that kind of stability into more of an unknown, into something that you were going to build that wasn't guaranteed right away? Yeah. Because I think a lot of people struggle with that, especially related to money. A hundred percent. And I think there is kind of a journey that I I think both of us have been on and a lot of people out there have been on related to like our relationship with money and kind of like the masculine feminine pull and how we kind of play with those energies around money. Yeah, that's a really good question.
38:04I was in a really unique position because it was COVID. I was supposed to move to LA for that venture capital job. I had an apartment here already. My stuff was already in LA, but when I quit that job, I was home in Canada. I had started remotely because they were like, don't fly yet. COVID's really bad. And I canceled my lease. I think I paid a month's rent. I got a moving company to move my stuff back to Canada. And I actually lived in Canada for a full year at home. And keep in mind, I had left home when I was 17 to go to Cornell. So I hadn't been in Canada and I was, it was COVID. I was living at home.
38:45I wasn't paying rent. I wasn't paying for like going to restaurants. I wasn't buying clothes. I wasn't doing anything. It was, it was, I mean, in Canada, especially it was quarantine. So I had, yeah, I had, and a lot happened over that year. I broke up with someone, my dog died suddenly of a heart attack. So I was like, I was trying to build, but I was also really in it. Like that was just the first thing of many different things that happened over the course of that year. So yeah, during that period, I was home, but I wasn't really spending any money. And I did have savings that I could kind of use to support myself during that window of time.
39:25But when I moved to LA the year later, I actually consulted for a health tech company like 10 to 15 hours a week. And that gave me, you know, I actively said, okay, these two days a week are going to be this job. And then these these remaining three days are going to be me building my business. And it gave me the financial stability to be able to move to LA and get an apartment and pay rent and be in Venice, which is obviously more expensive. And that then propelled me into being able to launch my business. So I think, yeah, I think everyone's in a different situation. COVID was very unique to be transitioning during that window gave me an advantage because I didn't have to spend that much money.
40:09But yeah, I think everyone does things differently. I think like, you know, I think if I were to do it again now and I was just living in the world, I would probably start something on the side while working and then also actively trying to save and have like six to 12 months of runway. Because I think energetically for me, I had to fully step like, yeah, I personally think that energetically I had to fully step away from my old life to be able to start what I wanted to start. And I don't think that had I been working full time, I would have energetically had the capacity to build something new, you know, and everyone's different in that way.
40:50We always say, I think, I forget how many months of runway we had when we quit, but yeah, I think because I'd quit like unsuccessfully before without a plan financially to try and pursue my dreams, it helped get more structure and form to quitting the next time. And it was like, there's like a very whimsical romanticized, like quit your job, follow your dreams. And if you have the nervous system capacity to hold that fucking rock on. But I did not like money for me is still a little, a wood chip in my nervous system of like safety. And so I needed to have like months of like safety set. And I think it is so smart for people to be super like in the masculine and a healthy way.
41:37If you are thinking about pursuing your passions and your jobs, like you have to think about money. Like how much do you have? Like how much are you spending a month? And I think for me, at least that kind of went in willy nilly where I was like, I'll figure it out. Like I'll end up spending more, but like, I didn't really have a genuine understanding of that. So I think it's really super smart that you got a job in the industry that was close to it. I think it's smart that you saved money by staying at home. Like, I do think that's such a good idea. What did the relationship that you broke up, so you broke up with someone and then your dog passed away.
42:05What did the relationship ending, how did that propel you forward? Like, was that a necessary ending of an identity or what was that like? I, yeah. Was it a college one? No, we, we dated in Montreal during, during COVID in Mont-Tremblant where I was living at the time, which is like a ski town north of Montreal. all. And, um, yeah, we, we dated during COVID and obviously it was COVID. So it got pretty intense, pretty fast, but yeah, I broke up with him and then a week, eight or nine days later, and it was so hard for me to do. It was, it was a very tough, it was a pretty toxic relationship, but I knew that I had to end it.
42:47Didn't make it any easier. And then eight days later or nine days later, my dog, my golden retriever Tommy died suddenly of a heart attack at my feet. He had a tumor on his heart called an angiosarcoma, which, which we didn't know about. And he just died at my feet. Um, and looking back at the time, I didn't really have a deep spiritual practice and I was just so in it that I couldn't understand like, what is the gift or what is the opportunity here. But looking back, it feels like breaking up with that boyfriend at the time and my dog dying suddenly actually freed me to move to Los Angeles. Because I think deep down, I was kind of nervous to switch my dog's environment at the time.
43:33I was like, oh my God, moving across the country into a new city. Like, I don't know that I can do that to him. How am I going to bring him on the plane? And I feel like he was like, no, you go. You go, like, spread your wings and soar and you go live the life that's meant for you. And yeah, I was kind of stripped down to nothing. Like all I had was me. And so at that point, after I went through that, the processing and grief of all of that, I came out on the other side and I was like, you know, I can move and I can live the life that I want now. And yeah, it really freed me to do that.
44:08Lindsey Simcik:That's beautiful. In terms of, you know, ending that relationship and kind of knowing that it was toxic. Were there any, like, was there any processing that you felt like you needed to do in the wake of that? Or just, I guess I'm, I'm kind of walking towards, you know, where you are now, where like, I feel, I feel like you're in such a healthy relationship. So it's like, how do we get from maybe being attracted to or like that more toxic? What was that like? The toxic was our boy. Yeah. I mean, yeah, definitely narcissistic tendencies. And I, I did date a lot of transparently, yeah. Emotionally unavailable men over the years, over my years flavor.
45:01Yeah. Favorite flavor. Um, I have enough emotions for the both of us like preceding that relationship when I was living in San Francisco, New York, and then even moving to LA and, um, starting my life here, I still was, I would say self-identified as, you know, more, more of an anxious type, um, dated emotionally unavailable men. And I think, Like, again, it comes back to earning love, like feeling need to, like I need to perform and please and be perfect to be loved and to earn love. And yeah, I went through a lot of deep inner work and coaching to really unravel myself from that. So I worked with an attachment coach for probably almost a year.
45:49And then, you know, I went to Hoffman. I studied Kabbalah. I worked with a masculine feminine polarity coach. Like, I mean, that's only a small snippet of the work that I've done. So yeah, it required a lot of self-awareness to be like, this is, this is a recurring pattern and problem. And like, what is it within me that I need to change? How can I grow, evolve and shift in order to attract what I'm looking to attract? And that requires a lot of accountability and self-awareness and responsibility to like take that ownership. I think, you know, we see a lot of women who are like, there's no men in San Francisco.
46:28There's no men in LA. There's no men in New York. Like, and I don't think that's true. I think in that situation, if you're in this situation where you're not attracting the type of partner that you want to attract, take a moment to take a step back and say like, what is it within me that is calling this into my reality? Um, and so, yeah, I, you know, I took a step back. I didn't, I didn't date. Oh my God. I didn't, before I met my current partner, I didn't date for 18 months. Wow. Not even dipped a toe in the pool. Nope. Nothing. Zero. Wow. Nothing. How was that? It was, it was good because I think I really came to a place of feeling wholeness within myself, you know, and just being like, I love myself.
47:14I love my life. I love my friends. I love, Yeah. And just like this feeling of, yeah, on a Sunday, just being alone and waking up and going to the farmer's market and going on a hike and going to the beach and then doing yoga and having dinner and just being like, I just love spending time with me. And I needed that to then be ready for the partner that I called in. So what's one thing you learned from your attachment coach and what's one thing you learned from the masculine and feminine polarity coach?
47:54Yeah, I think on the attachment side, let's see. Yeah, I think it's interesting, right? It's hard to self-identify as anxious attached. and what do you mean I don't I don't know I think I think I think what came up during that was I had self-identified as anxious attached you know and she would say to me no like you're I don't think you're you're moving away from that but I think what's really coming up is this situation is making you anxious. Oh, interesting. And that's valid. Any woman in your situation being treated this way or like being ghosted or being left behind would be anxious in your situation.
48:50And so it kind of... Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Like it just takes the pressure off of you being anxious to touch. Like it made it that, oh no, this situation is actually what's making me anxious rather than, oh, I'm anxious attached. It's on me. There's something wrong with you. Yeah. There's something wrong with me. It was really, oh, the situation is making me anxious.
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49:45Just on that piece, it's so interesting within dating because there's so many times where it's like it's on you of what you're attracting and what you're calling in. But then there is a lot where I've realized where it's like, it's not about you always like that kind of liberated you to be like, Oh, actually this like settling in your nervous system of like, okay, I'm not insane. I don't need to continue to adjust and try and fix myself and change myself to make this situation work or make this work. It's like freeze you from the feeling like you need to continue to fix yourself and like something is wrong with you.
50:20And so that is really liberating for anyone listening. It's like, if you feel like you are anxious, maybe it is a situation where the situation is not providing you even a space to heal, you know, like you could have anxious attachment in your container and it could still be a place where you could heal, but a lot of times it's probably going to make it worse or exacerbate it. Totally. Yeah. And I think, yeah, it's this kind of, we, if we're in this, we want this growth and development. it can actually be to a detriment. I feel like sometimes because we're like always trying to fix, we're always trying to improve or always trying to, and yeah.
51:01So just to, as you said, like it took a lot of pressure off of me to then realize, oh, it's actually just this situation and being in this container would make anyone anxious. Um, just helped to alleviate pressure there. And yeah, I think the masculine feminine polarity coach hit this corresponded with the plant medicine ceremony that I'm happy to talk about, but, um, yeah, just like realizing that the feminine wasn't something that I needed to find or chase or like builds. Yeah. It's like something that was actually already within me. And it's interesting, right? Because my work in detoxification is about stripping away the physical blockages in your body to come back to your true essence, which is love and light and expansion and abundance and freedom.
52:01And, and that's what the work is. And it's the same thing in the mental, emotional, spiritual realm. It's about stripping away your fears and blocks and traumas and patterns to come back to your true essence. And yeah, it was this realization that that was already within me and it was about stripping away those hyper-masculine shells and that I had created to protect myself to come back to that, that essence within me. So that started a journey of a lot of um, ego dissolving and unraveling and shedding, um, to, to come to who I am today.
52:43Lindsey Simcik:Yeah. And so can you tell us kind of the story or leading up to when you met your current partner and just kind of what that, how it felt different and just, yeah. Yeah. Your, your understanding of kind of why this came into your field now. Yeah. Well, I'll give a little context, um, that leads up to meeting him. So yeah, I was working with this coach and I, I went to Costa Rica. I was a very, again, sacral authority driven trip to go work with this doctor to do detox. And the purpose of that trip was to learn and expand my knowledge for my work. And I did a 14-day fast in the jungle in Costa Rica.
53:37Had no intention of plant medicine during that trip. But on day 11, I sat with peyote. And during that ceremony, I connected with motherhood. So I gave birth. I was with my kids. They were young. They were old. All the important mothers of my life were in the field during that trip, during that ceremony, excuse me. And when I came out of that, that masculine shell that I had created for myself had completely dissolved. Like I came out of that a completely different person. And coming back from that trip in LA, I had a difficult time with the integration. I kind of felt like... I remember when you came back, you're like, I'm hiking for 12 hours today.
54:30I was like, enjoy. My soul had expanded and it felt like my physical body hadn't caught up to the expansion I experienced in my soul. And it was so uncomfortable. um but in that discomfort I had a vision of going on a camper van trip so I started dreaming about being in a camper van multiple nights in a row I started I was hiking I hike a lot um and I would have a vision of being in this camper van and I had never been in a camper van in my life
55:14and you're like in the dream you're like making a mansion yeah and I remember at our dinner at my house we had a girls dinner at the house and I said to the girls a group of 10 girls I was like guys I I have this vision of going on this camper van trip and I think I'm gonna do it like I think I'm gonna and everyone was super supportive and like do it you know and yeah that's what's cool about LA is like in other towns, they'd be like, what are you doing? Why would you do that? Everyone's like, rock off. They're like, I have that vision. Like sound sick sister. Um, yeah, it's yeah. So I, I had, I was home in Canada in July and I booked a trip to leave at the end of August to go for like six weeks and booked like a really cool sprinter van.
56:00And, um, yeah, I had met someone at my, our mutual friend's wedding the year before, um, his name's Santi and he, he was nomadic for many years. So as I was gearing up for this trip, I, I was freaking out because I was like, I'm going on this, in this camper, you have to figure out so many different things. Like you have to figure out the water and the RV dump and all these little intricacies. And he was nomadic. So I hit him up to have him help and he helped me and we had met at the wedding and we had connected there, but nothing romantic at all kind of came up during that period. And yeah, we started voice noting and chatting because I was just so overwhelmed leading up to the trip.
56:46He was helping me with my itinerary and helping me figure out all the intricacies of the van and what to pack and all these things. And we kept in touch and left on that trip at the end of August, drove all the way up to Wyoming and he was kind of making, he, he was in Canada and making his way down to Mexico. And, um, yeah, basically we met up in Wyoming and don't want to like go through the whole story, but after a couple of weeks of spending time together here and there, um, fell in love and ended up traveling the American West together for like, I ended, I extended my trip like two weeks. So it must've been like 30 to 35 days straight.
57:33We were together. Um, and then he moved in to my house. So yeah. But, um, what was it like at the beginning when you first met? Were you like, this is it? Were you like, this is it? Like, what was the feeling like? Yeah. So to answer your original question, cause I just said, I think you said like, what did that feel like? Like, how is that different from any other person you've ever dated? And it was interesting because at the beginning, I didn't see, like, I didn't see it in a romantic way at the beginning. It just felt, you know, I think when you're previously have dated a lot of emotionally unavailable men, there is this like toxic pull that you sort of get used to that you have to unravel yourself from.
58:21It's like a nervous system hit. Yeah, it's a nervous system dysregulation. It's like a, and that isn't, that's lust. That's not love. And it's, that's something else I learned with that attachment coach. It was like, there needs to be an unraveling from that feeling. So I think when I met him and we hung out, it just felt so useful. It just felt like a friend that I had already had for 15 to 20 years, you know, and we were just hanging out and we were, he was in his sprinter. I was in mine. We would like cook dinner by a lake or go hiking or yeah, meet up to watch the sunset. And we ended up making our way to Colorado.
59:00This was before we kind of transitioned over romantically, but we had a weekend in Steamboat Springs and just like hiked and laughed and it just felt so easeful. And I think I hadn't fully like realized yet, like, oh, this is what it's supposed to feel like. Yeah. Just this like safety, this, yeah, this feeling like I am held, I am safe, I am secure, I am supported. I'm seen, you know, and I don't think I had ever felt that way before with someone. and so yeah there was there was like a a window of time where things shifted I was I had actually we had been apart for a week I was in Aspen with a friend and he was elsewhere and I think during that window of time of being apart like I realized like this is this is exactly how I want to feel and yeah I mean I it's so cliche when they say like it should be easy but it's like it's really when you actually feel that and you experience it for the first time, you really understand what that means because it's just, it's just so different and it's exactly how it's meant to be, you know?
1:00:15And I think that's the key for people and something I wish I had just realized so much, like so long ago, it's just so, it's just so simple. Like, do you feel safe and secure in your body? Like, do you feel nervous system regulated or do you feel anxious? Do you feel dysregulated? Do you feel like you can't sleep and can't eat? Like if the, if that's the category of relationship that you're in, then it's not it. And it's just that it's that simple. I feel like to really like check in with yourself and ask that question.
1:00:51Lindsey Simcik:I think it's really key. Especially, such a beautiful story. And I feel like especially it just illustrates the beginning of how it should feel. Cause like life's going to life and you're going to have hard times and challenges and it's not always going to feel easeful. But I do feel like, you know, people, I hear from a lot of my friends and listeners where it's like the beginning stages of dating just feel so anxiety ridden. And there's like all this unknown and like, I don't know if they're going to call me and sending mixed messages and like all of that. Just that like complicated, anxious, like baseline is not it.
1:01:29Lindsey Simcik:So what you're describing is just that like ease and that peace. And I felt the same with my husband and I'm sure you feel the same in your relationship where like, it's almost like there's a moment where you're like, is this boring? Yeah. You know, you're just like, is this? And you're like, no, it's actually what I've been wanting totally and you know yeah yeah and I think yeah I I think back to like the times and I'm sure there's so many women listening where it's like should I text him or like wait what should I respond yeah or wait how long do you think he'll met like when do you think he'll message me and and like what will he say and what should I respond to that when he does?
1:02:09And it's like, that's just not like you, you want that, as you said, like life, life's and things will get hard and you go through death and grief and obstacles with your work and you have kids and there's so much that can come up in a container and a romantic relationship if it's really true divine sacred union. And I think it's really important to feel that safety, that security, that, um, that yeah. Connectedness between you two that is, yeah, is what I feel in my relationship. Yeah.
1:02:49Lindsey Simcik:What was the, I mean, you don't have to give detailed details, but like just crossing over into kind of the more romantic, was there a conversation? Wasn't an experience with kind of a spiritual, like psychic thing? Yeah, it was. Yeah, it's interesting. There was an experience on the trip. Were you thinking anything when you guys were together? Like by yourselves? It was interesting because, so Sam and Abra, the wedding that we went to, he had told them that he was interested in me. And Abra was like, you know, there was a lot of pressure. Like there was maybe the feeling like other people wanted this to happen.
1:03:34And, oh, he had mentioned something about me at the wedding. And, yeah, he had made me this whole itinerary for the trip, too. And, like, it kind of felt like, okay, you care. Yeah. I think so. Yeah, Shay, I think, had said, like, seen him make the itinerary and said, like, who's this girl? No way. Yeah, I'd be like, she is not just a friend. Wow.
1:04:01But, yeah, I lost my train of thought. Yeah. Just like that, that transition. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right. Sorry. So, um, yeah, we, I had, I had met, I had actually met someone else on the trip in Wyoming and there's a much longer story there, but I had this crazy realization that it felt like God had like planted him to represent every single emotionally unavailable man I had ever, ever dated in my life. He was like so good looking and charming and this and that. And, um, yeah, like I had this really spiritual experience on my own of like this, yeah, this realization that there were like two, it was like a fork in the road.
1:04:49I was like, oh, there's this guy who like represented, represents all these men I've dated in the past. And there's this guy who makes me feel safe and seen and held and supported. And coming out of that experience, I had something shifted for me energetically. And there was a moment where I was coming back to meet him. We were going to do a big hike on the weekend. And I told him, I want to cook for you because cooking is a love language for me. I love cooking. And he said that that was the moment he realized that I was into him too. Like he was like, wait, she's like going to the grocery store, buying all this stuff, driving three hours to meet me and cooking for me.
1:05:34And so that night he kissed me because he didn't get created. I feel like men need signals. You know, right. We think like, we think, oh, they're just going to make a move. And I'm like, that's like a really hard thing to do. I think there's research. I think there's research. Vanessa, who was been on the podcast before. I forget her last name, but she says that Ben Edwards, she says that attractive women need to signal 29 times or more to men to like get them to like do anything. I saw 29 times. I know it's wild. And you need to hold eye contact for three to five seconds. Wow. Crazy. Yeah. And that, and that, and that was like, get ready.
1:06:15And that was, yeah, that was the signal. I think good men need signals. Totally. Totally. And I think men that are like trash buckets used to like going up to women. Totally. And I never, we had spent two weeks together. Like we had spent a whole weekend together already and I never felt any pressure. Like I really felt like he genuinely just wanted to spend time, spend time with me and like become close to me and learn, learn more about me. And I never felt any, any pressure whatsoever to like transition into a romantic container. And so, yeah like that it's just funny how the signal was me making a vegetable curry for him you know
1:06:59and then yeah from that point forward we yeah we spent every yeah we were on the road in our campers for I think it was 35 days we were not apart for 35 days from the day he kissed me until yeah until he came back to LA.
1:07:22Did you have what during that process like did you have any fears come up were you guys working through things like was it just what was that like to fall? Um we no I think I think we were honestly really in that honeymoon phase during that period of time And it was just really blissful. Like, I'll look back one day and say, I can't believe I was like traveling the American West in camper van, in a camper van with you. We've definitely kind of, I think, you know, we've transitioned out of that phase. And since then we've had things come up. And I'm really excited because I think it's when you're in a container with someone, you know, I've done so much work and he has as well.
1:08:09And he's in a men's circle and he leads men's circles and he's a very self-aware person as am I. And I think it's just an opportunity to grow and evolve and reveal parts of myself and patterns and fears and shadows that I haven't seen yet. And so as much as it's challenging, sometimes it's, it really is the most beautiful thing because we are able to just grow and evolve into the best part, the best versions of ourselves that we can then feed that third entity, you know, from a place of wholeness. And I'm really, I'm really grateful. You know, what's interesting is I've worked with so many women and a lot of times it's like they'll get messages or they'll get like hits where they're like, I need to go to Poland and I'm going to be my man or, you know, I need to go to this place.
1:09:02And even when my friends have been single, I think they've had that. And I've had that where you were like, I have this hit, like I'm going to be in Paris and like, you know, find the person and doesn't normally happen like for them or for me or for anyone like that. And it's funny, I was thinking about your situation because it's like you had the hit to do something for you. It wasn't like to find him. It was like, I need to do this for me. And then you found him in that. And I think that's the big difference between when we have the premonition for finding the person. And I'm not saying that we don't have hits that are right or intuitions or premonitions about when we're going to meet someone.
1:09:43Cause I absolutely have seen that to be true. And I know that to be true. But I think more often it really is when you're following your own path and you're following what is true for you, that you find the person and the person that is most aligned for you. Because oftentimes if we have the premonition hit actually about a person, it's a karmic relationship that might not be your person, but it's like, you're going to meet someone that's going to give you a lesson, be a part of the path, be a part of your journey. But for the most part, the person that you're with is not always usually the person you have premonitions about, or like kids about.
1:10:17Yeah. I mean, my friend going into the trip, my, my feminine sort of coach had said, I think you're going to meet your partner on this trip. Interesting. And, and my friend Naz had said, I think you're going to meet someone on this trip. But even though I actually, my astrologist too, had said, I think you're going to meet someone on this trip. And even though a bunch of people were saying you're going to meet someone on this trip. I wasn't going on the trip to meet a partner. It was fully like, I just know I need to do this for me. And, but I do think why he came into my fields and why, yeah, my, my coach at the time said this was like, you are in your most raw, messy, vulnerable, feminine essence right now.
1:11:08You were going on a trip, especially a camper van trip. Like you have literally no plan. You don't even know where you're sleeping the next night. And I really did. And on that, the beginning of that trip feel like I was for the first time in my life and such a state of flow and surrender. And, um, like I really stepped away from work for the first time, which I had never done. And I was really in this, yeah, this feminine state of being that I had never felt before. I was like, I wake up in my camper and be like, you know, okay, I'm going to go here. And then, oh, look at that. It's cool. Maybe I'll turn this way.
1:11:47Like I'd never been in that state really before. And I feel like he came into my fields and embodied masculine men came into my field because I created the space for a man to do so. And I think that's really important. Like I think for women listening, you know, my message there is if you are like you're building the business and you're like hustling and you're doing all the things, um, that's beautiful. And I'm, I'm so grateful for my masculine. Cause I think it's brought me to where I am today and I'd never want to get rid of it. But if you're really in that, like super hyper masculine state and you're like, I'm a girl boss, I'm hyper independent.
1:12:29I don't need anyone like think about if that's serving you from in like a romantic context like if that energetically is allowing space for an embodied masculine man to come in because yeah in my case I don't feel like that energy served me and I think finding that balance and coming more into my feminine and really yeah being in being able to dance fluidly between the two states really allowed me to call in that masculine partner that I was looking for.
1:13:05Lindsey Simcik:I guess, what does that look like in your day to day, in your relationship, kind of dancing between the masculine and feminine? Have you found kind of moments where you're both in your feminine or both in your masculine? Like, and how do you, how do you soften or how do you hold structure? I guess, what does that look like in the day to day? Yeah, it's, I feel like because it's so new, it's like still something I'm very much learning and growing into. But yeah, in the day to day, like I think when I'm like focused on work, I'm in my masculine and I'm doing my thing, whether it's calls or being on my computer or building or whatever I'm doing.
1:13:52And, um, yeah, when I come out of that container, I think, I think I need moments to like switch out, you know, energetically. So it's like maybe a short walk or maybe a breath work or a meditation or doing something to like shift me out of that masculine container so that I can then kind of switch into that feminine container. And, um, yeah, I think I, you know, I am like a planner. I'm, I have a lot of Capricorn in my chart. It is in my innate inherent nature to want to plan and, oh, like, what are we doing Friday? Or what are we doing Saturday? But just kind of like taking a step back and allowing him to step into that, make the reservation, plan out what we're going to be doing.
1:14:39Um, even though I can do it, it's important for me to take a step back and allow him to step into that. But all that to say, I think it's still something I'm very much like we're learning. We've been living together for only a couple months. So it's still very much new and we're figuring that out. I'm curious, like, what does that look like for both of you? I think I was thinking about it a little bit when you were talking and I feel like because I'm more in integrated wholeness, I don't notice the shift. I think the more I get embodied in just myself, I oscillate in moments very quickly and I can shift very quickly.
1:15:21And it feels just like me rather than like I'm being in my masculine or feminine, I think. And I think even for him, you know, I think about the moments where I feel that it's interesting because the moments when I feel him most in his masculine is when he's in his most tenderness and his most open-hearted and like how emotionally available he is and how attuned he is. So it's interesting because what I perceived to be feminine and what I perceived to be feminine feels like the most masculine in our container. And it's almost like that ability to be super feminine makes him even more masculine for me where it's like, oh, like, and even in the moments where I have had like freak outs or where I've just been like in my emotional reaction, he's always held just like, okay, I hear you.
1:16:15Like that makes sense to me. Like never once has he not been like the clear sight and the grounded force of that. And so I think that's when he's felt incredibly masculine to me, but I think we both oscillate quite a bit. Like I think he's very, he's very both. Yeah. I feel the same with my partner. Like he's able to be in his feminine for sure. Um, and I think it takes both partners to be able to dance fluidly between the two States and be attuned to each other's needs and emotional state. Like if, you know, I, I had like, I had a kind of meltdown earlier this week, like had a really hard day and yeah, I was just really in my feminine and he was just able to hold me in that.
1:17:01And if it were the reverse, I feel like, and he needed me, you know, in a difficult moment, like I'd be able to step into my masculine and hold him in that space too. I almost see, like, I almost don't see my, I almost see it as like my inner mother with him. And I don't mean I mother him, but like, it doesn't feel masculine with me at points. Like I can be direct and clear, but it feels more like, I know he had a moment about something months ago. And I remember him just having a moment and real expression and feeling his feelings. And it was almost just like holding it as a mother to him to be kind and loving rather than stable and cold.
1:17:40It felt like I'm just going to be incredibly spacious in the way that I'm attuning to this and in the way that I'm being with this. But what would you say? How do you experience it? Yeah.
1:17:51Lindsey Simcik:I think we're always actively working on this. I feel like my husband is very in his masculine a lot of the time. And I think he enjoys, you know, being in the feminine of flow and creativity and just like softening. And I've noticed that so much of it is him kind of noticing that and making those transition, but also in our patterning and dynamic where like if I take initiative to like plan our date night upcoming or something like that, it kind of allows him to soften into the experience rather than feeling like he needs to create the structure of it. And so it was interesting, like, yeah, like my, and I have that within me, but I think I've been out of practice.
1:18:45Lindsey Simcik:I think being so focused on our son and just being in the early years of motherhood and kind of feeling like I'm just coming out of the fog. And so to like re-step into that part of me that does love planning, that does love creating experiences, that does love being super thoughtful and like holding, you know, him in a moment where he's like just feeling really, you know, emotional or defeated or whatever. Like I love to be that in those moments. So it was like almost me relearning how to bring that to our relationship. And I've just noticed, yeah, it's taken the pressure off of the masculine to always, the literal masculine, like my husband to always be that.
1:19:25Lindsey Simcik:Totally. And so it's allowed more like of a dance, which I think creates more space for fun and play and spontaneity. And I noticed like when we, and he's really good at this and I'm like practicing this, but just bringing in like silliness and joy and like, yeah, just not being so in the mud of the day to day of like the logistics and the things we got to do. And it's like, I heard someone speak recently on a podcast and one of the things that he was saying, you know, are so important for a marriage is to have so much fun. You know, you can go to therapy every week, but that's the stewing. Yeah, totally.
1:20:09Lindsey Simcik:That's the stewing together. That's like, let's stir the pot of what's wrong. But it's like, are you having moments and like experiences of just like fun? Totally. You know, because it just, it just, it's like a injection of life of like seeing your partner in something new or like seeing a part of them that isn't in the day-to-day and the day-to-day logistics. So anyway, it's, it's something I think we're always attuning to and just curious about. And we're bringing it more into conversation of like what we need in those moments where it does feel a little funky, you know, and being able to like recognize like, oh, this is what's happening.
1:20:48Lindsey Simcik:Okay. This is how we can kind of shift. So work in progress. I think something about you guys that's so interesting that I think a lot of, so a lot of women in our audience, they want to date a conscious man. They want to date a man that's done the work and all of that. And I think they find a hard time finding them or like even if they're in relationship, they want their man to be more conscious. And I don't know what my question is, but I guess I want to talk about that because I know a lot of women either want their men to do the work and want them to start their growth journey. And I don't know what that looks like for them.
1:21:20And then also, I guess the question that we'll start in is like, for you and dating a man that does his own work, like, what does that feel like? And And what do you think a woman should do to find a man that has done his own work? Hmm.
1:21:43Yeah, I think it feels amazing to have a partner that is doing his own work. Like my partner has been in a men's circle for seven years, six, seven years. And he's leading a men's circle now every single Monday at 6 p.m. without fail. And it feels really good to be in a relationship with someone who is actively growing and evolving in the same way that I am and has like has that wiring towards self-awareness and growth and just like wanting to. Self-actualization is why we're all here. So to have a partner that wants that same thing is just is really beautiful and special. And then your second question was around how do women find partners that, yeah, I think, again, going back to what I said earlier, I think you need to do the work first.
1:22:52You know, I really, really believe that you attract what you are. And so instead of using that energy to try to find that conscious man, if you're not finding it, take a step back and think about like, how can I like, what can I do to grow and evolve and expand into the woman that will attract that conscious masculine man that I'm looking for? You know, like what are the parts of myself that I, what are the patterns I want to shed or fears or blocks or like, who do I want to become and how do I step into that version of myself to attract that man? And yeah, I, I think, I think for me, um, surrender, surrendering into the feminine and like really like unraveling that hyper masculine shell was that final step because I had done so much work on myself and I had, you know, I had done all the things, but, um, I really think it was less about the doing and forcing, but really about the surrendering and the coming back.
1:24:06into that feminine essence that was already within me that allowed that partner to come in. And, um, yeah, I think for, I think for like you and for all of my friends that have met these kind of partners, it's always, it's never happened from a place of force. It's always happened from a place of complete surrender and like not even trying and just in a, being in a state of like total embodiment. So. And surprise. Yeah, totally. Like, and just coming out of left field, you know, even, even though people told me like, you're going to meet someone on this trip, like when we ended up kind of shifting into that romantic container, like I was like, what?
1:24:49Like I was just so caught off guard. Like it's not something that was in my field at all. Even in the beginning of the trip. And so, yeah, I think it just happens when you least expect it for real.
1:25:01Lindsey Simcik:And I heard you say earlier, like you were just so, you know, in those 18 months too, you were just like so good with yourself and like enjoying your time with yourself. And I think that's also a key part that I experienced as well. And I've spoken to a lot of women who are in kind of that single period that like in between and yeah, it's just such a special time. You know, you'll always have that experience and you'll always be able to revisit it with confidence, you know, even within your relationship, like you can prioritize time for yourself because you know how good it feels and not necessarily fall into the codependence and the enmeshment that a relationship sometimes can bring on.
1:25:45Lindsey Simcik:Cause you're like, you're so comfortable. I love you. Like I want to be with you all the time. It's yeah. It's so wild. I think when you're single, you're just like, you, you know, we, when, when I was single, I was like, I really wanted to call in like one of my top goal in my 2025 thing last year was calling, you know, a partner and I really wanted a soulmate and I was like, you know, kind of a bit fed up of being alone all the time, maybe a little bit. Like I really wanted that person to come in. But then once you have that person, you're like, oh shit, like I barely have any time alone. And so I think for those of you listening who are single and you're alone, just like really enjoy this spaciousness in your life and like be grateful for being able to wake up on a Sunday and just like, you don't have plans and you could literally do whatever you want to do and do things that bring you joy.
1:26:41Like, don't just like sit around and scroll on your phone and watch Netflix, like do something, go on a hike or like bring yourself to the beach or do something fun, like take yourself out on a date, like do something for yourself, you know, go to a pottery class, paint, like make a delicious meal and sit in the sun naked, you know? Um, and it's just such a beautiful time. And I'm so like grateful for that chapter that I had. And yeah, I think cause like once it happens, like you're, you're like, oh shit I don't know I'm like you're like wait where's where's my alone time wait till kids I'm like I'm like I'm like I can't even imagine right so but yeah you know when you meet that person that you know that soulmate um I feel like things can transition like really really quickly Like it's not this slow burn of like, oh, we're going on dates for like six months.
1:27:40And then it's like it can happen. I mean, for me, at least it happens so fast because it was like we were we were meant to be together in this lifetime. So, yeah, just recognize that and just be grateful for those those nights that you have alone. All the girls are like, shut the fuck up. because when you're single you're like shut the fuck up you're like wait you know you're like enjoying myself like because it's so scary but it's so true and like so true everyone will have the moment where they are thinking that when they're with someone where they'll be like you should just really enjoy and what i love about your story too it's like i was just kind of tracking it as far as like you do work with detoxing detoxing is a part of your thing like you had detoxing in Costa Rica.
1:28:28You did the fast, you did the plant medicine, you stripped away, like you detox, like from your work, from the doing, from like the ideas of what everyone else wanted you or like the pressure of everyone else. And you did something that listened where you listened to your soul. Like you had to go through this process. And I think in healing journeys too, we kind of think it's going to be like, it's interesting because the first situation with the coach, it was like one call kind of turned it. you had the inclination, but one call turned it. But usually it is more like the second process of like, you went to Costa Rica, you fasted, you had a plant medicine ceremony, you did your own work of years of doing this thing.
1:29:03Like healing is like compounding. Totally. It's, it's not just like you do a three month course to meet your spirit guides and you're like, good. It's like, I am who I am because of 10 years of various things over time that have been instrumental in my process. And what would you say if you thought about detox in this process to finding the person that you love? Like, what did you detox yourself from? What beliefs, what habits, what ideas? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just to echo what you said, like, it's really wild to think about the parallel between my work and, um, my work doing detox with people and relieving yourself from the physical blockages.
1:29:50And yeah, like the, the work that I did in this container to detox myself from all those, you know, fears and blocks and patterns. And, um, yeah, I'll probably name, name a couple of things here. I I mean, I think the first and foremost was the hyper-masculine shell that I created for myself for protection. You know, I had shed that a lot over many years. I think I mentioned, like, stepping into becoming a coach and moving to L.A. and stepping away from berries and soul cycle and all those things. First step, stop going to soul cycle and berries three times a day. First step to finding the love of your life.
1:30:35Yeah, totally. Um, but yeah, I think again, that plant medicine ceremony, connecting with motherhood, connecting with my kids, like really was a fast track into completely shattering that hypermasculine shell, almost to the point where when I came back, I was like, I couldn't even work, which is so wild for me because I'm of a lot of Capricorn in my chart. I've always been like work, work, work. How many planets do you have? Oh man, probably four. i have my cap capricorn rising oh interesting um and north node what's your sun staying sag love yeah yeah what's your moon um my moon is cancer wait no wait what libra interesting yeah i was like um yeah but a lot of planets in capricorn a lot in sag but yeah um yeah i just feel like that plant medicine ceremony like brought me into a whole new dimension um and so that.
1:31:35And then, yeah, like over the years, just freeing myself from the belief that I have to perform and please and be perfect to be loved. I, yeah, like I would even, I would have difficulty even celebrating my birthday. Like even, you know, uh, maybe like, yeah, three, four or five years ago, I would always be like on my birthday. Cause I, I think I had, I really held the belief that I could not be loved and celebrated for just being me. And so, yeah, I think really like unraveling myself from that belief, which was so deep and so, and I'm not, it's not gone, you know, it's still very much present in my field.
1:32:22I'm not saying that it's like, it's not, it's not like you're going to meet a partner when every, all of these negative beliefs and traumas and fears are gone. Like they're still going to be present, but I think I got myself to a point where I really like unraveled myself from that belief, um, which was really deep for me. So,
1:32:39Lindsey Simcik:yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good point just for people to understand when they step into relationship. I think a lot of people have this subconscious belief that they need to be healed before they find their person. And I felt that way at a point, but there's just like the gift, one of the greatest gifts of being in relationship is the growth and the healing that you're meant to do together. 100%. Yeah. I believe that like, you know, I feel like I did all the healing that I was meant to do on my own in this lifetime. And then I feel, I feel like you meet your soulmate or, and enter a, you know, divine sacred union or conscious partnership when you are, you've done all the refining you can do on your own.
1:33:24And then God is like, okay, now you're ready to step into this new container where you can actually do more, you know, more refining. I think, yeah, this type of relationship I would say is the greatest refining tool like ever. And yeah, I just, I don't think I'm, you know, I don't think we're ever healed. Right. But I think it's like, I had done what I could do on my own and I was ready to step into this container where yeah, a whole new set of things come to the surface that you literally have not seen in your lifetime. And then you're like, oh shit. You're like, wait, what? I didn't know this about myself.
1:34:03So yeah, it's beautiful. It's hard. It's, it's, but it's all worth it. It's the most magical thing I've, and I'm so grateful. So happy for you. Thank you. Something was coming up for me, just making a connection about when you first start dating someone. And I think when you're used to going for unavailable men, and that was my pattern too, you like, when you see that spark of the unavailable men, the part of you comes forward. That's like, I have to perform for love. And so that part comes online. They're like, Oh my God, I'm going to perform for love. And hopefully I'll get it this time, even though you never end up getting it.
1:34:40And it's almost like that chemistry creates that like excitement and that performance of that part of you. And I think when you have a love where it's like a little bit more of a surprise or you didn't expect it or you didn't see it, that part is like not active. So you can actually be loved, you know, for who you are and be loved just as you are. Because if you have the chemistry component of that type of energy, it's really hard. You have to consciously have your performer part. Oh, totally. Sit to the side. A hundred percent. Yeah. And I think for me, like just the environment. Yeah. In which I was in, you know, being in a camper on the road, I'm like, I, yeah, I'm just really stripped.
1:35:27You're like, we're dumping my poop at the end of every day. I'm like, I am in a very, yeah. Yeah. No, I actually, I had a shower in my van and I had like a little cassette toilet. But yeah, like there is, you're not like, there is no, there is no performing. I'm not like, I had a mirror. I barely had a mirror. It was literally this big. Wow. So like, there is no full body mirror. There's no mirror. I would go to like a bathroom at a gas station and be like, I don't think I've seen myself in seven days. Like, is that me? So yeah, there's no, like that performer part of myself was not online at all on that trip.
1:36:07And I think also for me personally, like I really connect with myself and with a higher power with God when I'm in nature. And so being in nature, just like I really felt like I was in like my real essence because I was so like I'm sleeping in a van. I'm under the stars. I'm in the Tetons and Yellowstone and Colorado and driving through the mountains. Like I feel the most myself and at home within myself in that container. So I feel like because of that, like I was just really in my, in my flow and on that trip, um, that create, yeah, just was really me. So yeah.
1:36:47Lindsey Simcik:Beautiful. What's one thing you want to leave our audience with? What's one thing you want women to know?
1:36:59yeah I think when we're thinking about you know I think as you said a lot of women listening like want to call in this divine sacred partner and want to seek it out and where do I find this person. And yeah, I would just encourage you to not force and try and push. And it's really more about a surrendering and a letting go and a relaxing into and a coming back into that divine feminine essence. You don't need to find it. It's already within you. It's funny because my books are called from within and from deep within. And that's from a detox perspective. It's like that energy, that essence is within you.
1:37:46You just have to relieve the physical blockages to come back to that essence. And I think it applies in this container too. It's like that essence, that feminine that you think you need to chase or find or seek out is not something you need to seek out. It's within you. So just remember that and think about the things that you can do, the work that you can do to kind of reveal those blocks to come back to that essence. Yeah. Stunning.
1:38:17Lindsey Simcik:So, so good. Thank you. So happy for you. Thanks. Where can people find you? Yeah. On Instagram, LinkedIn, Substack. I'm a LinkedIn girly. I love that dude. It's so wild. It's a little wild. Everyone's made fun of me for so many years. And now people, I know, I know now people hit me up and they're like, wait, I want to be on LinkedIn. Can you help me? I heard LinkedIn's the wild west. They're like, everyone, you can get everyone to engage with their LinkedIn. Yeah. And on those platforms, yeah, Substack too. And you can find my link tree, which yeah, you can find my website, ways to work with me one-on-one work, my digital cleanses, any speaking events.
1:38:57And yeah, I would love to hear from you if this resonated. I don't think I've ever, I always talk about detox on podcasts. And so I've never really talked about my story and just like, this is so, yeah, I really hope if you're listening that this empowers you and inspires you and please reach out if you listen, because I would love to hear from you. Okay, guys, we love you. So good. Bye.
1:39:26Thanks so much, Megan. It was so fun to have you. Again, that was Megan Swidler talking about her journey to love and to slipping more into her feminine and the magic that came throughout the process. We have 800 other episodes of Almost 30. Dig in, put us on during a road trip, just when you're cleaning the house. We're also on YouTube, so subscribe and comment on YouTube. We're creating kind of a different type of episode for YouTube recently, which is really fun. And then we also have our second podcast. That's all for you. It's Morning Microdose, and it is a five-day-a-week channel that has inspiration that's ad-free.
1:40:01We love you guys.
1:40:02Lindsey Simcik:You can follow us on Instagram and on TikTok, Adam Was Already Podcast. You can follow me at Lindsay Simsek. And I'm at It's Krista. We'll see you soon. Bye.
1:40:23Thank you.
1:40:46Thank you.
From the publisher
What happens when you finally stop chasing—and start surrendering? In this transformative episode, Meghan Swidler shares how walking away from a life in venture capital led her into a profound awakening, forcing her to confront the truth: she was living for everyone else but herself.
From toxic relationships + anxious attachment patterns to reclaiming her feminine energy and sense of self-worth. Through Meghan’s inner work + coaching, she breaks down how she stopped attracting emotionally unavailable partners and created space for real, grounded love.
Then comes the story that will stay with you: a solo camper van trip, complete surrender to intuition, and love that unfolds when she least expects it. Meghan reveals what healthy love actually feels like—and why it’s not butterflies and chaos, but safety, and deep emotional connection.
We also talk about:
How to break cycles of emotionally unavailable relationships
The truth about anxious attachment vs. situational anxiety
Masculine vs. feminine energy in modern dating
Why “ease” is the biggest green flag in relationships
The power of taking a break from dating to reset your patterns
How intuition leads you to aligned love (not chasing)
Financial and emotional strategies for leaving a stable career
Why your dream life starts when you stop living for approval
Resources:
Free Detox Quiz: https://meghanswidler.typeform.com/detoxphasequiz?typeform-source=linktr.ee
LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/meghanswidler
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meghanswidler/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meghanswidler/
Substack: https://meghanswidler.substack.com/
Website: https://meghanswidler.com/
Two Books on Amazon: https://r.amzlink.to/?btn_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fstores%2FMeghan-Swidler%2Fauthor%2FB0D66SYTWX%3Fref%3Dap_rdr%26isDramIntegrated%3Dtrue%26shoppingPortalEnabled%3Dtrue&btn_ref=org-433bb393e1b8b503
The Cleanses: https://thecleanses.meghanswidler.com/
30-Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/meghanswidler/health-history-consultation
Intro: https://intro.co/meghanswidler
Order our book, Almost 30: A Definitive Guide To A Life You Love For The Next Decade and Beyond, here: https://bit.ly/Almost30Book.
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