873. The Toxic Side of Wellness Influencer Culture

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1:11Hello and welcome to Almost 30 Podcast. My name is Krista Williams and I am beaming with delight to have you here, especially if you're an OG. You've been with us for a while. That's so much of our community, we've been around for 10 years now. We are podcasting dinosaurs. They say we are OGs, whether I like it or not. Sometimes the OG label that people give us, I'm like, it's like, you know, they're like, oh, you've been around. You're like, yeah. Is that a good thing? Anyways, we started almost 30 when my podcast co-host and best friend, Lindsay, were almost 30. Then we felt really lost in life and we felt like we had more questions than answers.

1:53And so we came together in our confusion and our rock bottom to hopefully find what we were doing here, what the purpose of life was, what the meaning of life was, and to discover who we are. And through that process, we have to, we have, and through that process, we really have discovered ourselves and been able to build a really, really beautiful community of almost 30 people. We interview amazing experts and leaders, authors, and teachers in the space of spirituality and personal growth. And then we also do solo episodes. And in these solo episodes, we teach on topics that are meaningful to us, whether it's Lindsay talking about motherhood, or me talking about divorce.

2:32Oh, just you got to giggle. Relationships, body image issue, narcissistic abuse, you know, becoming who you came here to be, we run the gamut. And today's episode is going to be about body. The topic of body is such a ripe one for women all over the world. And I will never stop talking about it because I have never been to a place in space where I've been with women that have all been healed, that have all been liberated, that have all been free, that have all found themselves at peace with who they are and how they look. And there's a lot of data and research that actually talks about how 80 % of women are holding themselves back because they feel like they don't physically feel confident.

3:15So they feel fat or ugly or whatever the things are. And so many women are holding themselves back from being fully expressed, from the raises, from the jobs, from the relationship, because they feel like they don't deserve it because they aren't thin or look physically how they feel like they should look. And it's so funny because before I did this episode, I was changing because I recorded one right before this. And I was like, I had this shirt. I'm like, I don't want to wear that shirt. And then I was like, I'm going to put on the tank top. And even myself, who's done a lot of work in this space, the little Krista that grew up in Ohio and was, you know, for a little point in time, a little chub was like, Oh my, I was even like little chubby.

3:50Krista was like, can I wear a tank top on camera? What if my arms look fat? What if my arms looks like something's wrong with me? And our body programming, our body, not enoughness, our body fears, our body woes, our body struggles are just so deep. And so, although I've done so much work around this, and I've done so much work where even I have that voice that comes up, but I still wear the tank top. It's not always easy to be a woman of the world and be loving and liberated in your body when there's so much messaging around it to hate your body, to be smaller, that being thin is the ultimate, that GLP ones are going to save your life.

4:26And that, you know, being perfect is the only way to be loved. I wanted to do this episode because it was inspired by a post that I wrote on my Instagram, that's going pretty viral. And I feel like a douchebag saying that, but it's kind of like qualifies it, but it's around the body. So on my Instagram, it's Krista. It's I-T-S-K-R-I-S-T-A. I talk a lot about body and voice and overall empowerment and spirituality. In one of the posts that I did, I wrote about body and I wrote about a trend that I had noticed in the space of wellness for eight or so years. So this has been a belief that I've held for almost my entire time in this community, in this space.

5:05We have normalized taking health advice from women who secretly hate their bodies. Eating disorders are egocentronic. That means they don't feel like a problem to the person inside them. They feel like control, discipline, identity. This is just how I am. So of course, they don't announce that they have eating disorders. Instead, it becomes protocols, principles, what I eat in a day, my non-negotiables, my rules. Behind the camera, it can look very different. Obsession, restriction, binging, overexercising, deep body hatred, fear of food that never gets named. I have been around influencers who were not honest about what they were eating.

5:52More than they admitted, less than they admitted, healthier or less healthy it goes both ways. Maybe it's the cool girl who eats whatever, or the wellness princess that eats perfectly clean. Both are masks. And you're watching them thinking, why can't I be like that? Why isn't my body responding? What am I doing wrong? Let me say this clearly. There is nothing wrong with you. You might just be measuring your body against someone else's unhealed relationship with theirs. So you are measuring yourself against someone else's disorder. Your body is not a project. Your body is not an addition. Your body is not a comparison chart.

6:37It is a living system with history, trauma, genetics, wisdom, and rhythm. Influencers don't have it all figured out. They are not your guru. They're not the authority on your hunger, your fullness, your metabolism, or your worth. Your body and your psyche don't deserve to follow someone else's illness. you don't need her body you need yours and the courage to build a relationship with it that is honest private and real okay like there's so many things I need to break down for y 'all in here so what inspired this was the fact I've been in the wellness and spirituality space for so long I've been an influencer for like 10 years now I've gone to dinners I've gone to I've hung out with a lot of people I have been around so many so much disordered eating I have been around so much orthorexia.

7:24I've been around so much, you know, clocking what everyone else is eating. I've watched people take pictures of the food and not eat it. I've watched people eat, pack dinners and food to meals and not eat anything. I've watched people go to dinners and not eat. I've watched people, you know, like eat tons and act like they didn't eat it. Like both sides, I've seen women act like they eat healthier than they do. And I've seen women act like they eat worse than they do. And this is all putting out the false sense that's confusing people and making people think there's something wrong with them. And what I've noticed that a lot oftentimes the people that are the loudest about food and nutrition or supplements or peptides even, is these women secretly deep down, hate their bodies and do not accept or love their bodies and have always wanted to change their bodies and have only accepted and loved their body when it's thin.

8:16And I've only accepted and loved their body when it's a certain size or age. And at the beginning of the slides, when I talked about how eating disorders are egocentronic, this was a term that I heard from my therapist because my therapist specializes in eating disorders. And she's been so helpful for me on my journey, but also in my journey as a teacher, because I always check her as a reference point and as a guide so that I can make sure to be as mindful as possible and as thoughtful as possible in this realm. And what's fascinating about eating disorders is the egocentronic basically means that someone with an eating disorder wants to hide it.

8:53They don't want you to know about it. They don't want you to suss it out. They don't, they want to protect you from it because they don't want to change. So they are not a problem. They're like, no, I just love to eat this way. I just love to do this thing. This is just who I am. When if you were to meet someone or go to therapy and someone has depression, they're going to therapy because they don't want to have depression anymore. They're like, take depression from me. I don't want it. But someone with an eating disorder normally hides it. So it's hard to track this because oftentimes people with disordered eating or eating disorders don't know they have it and want to hide it.

9:29Because they think that if you catch them, you're going to make them eat and get fat and then they won't be loved and their whole life will crumble. So people are usually unaware or hiding it oftentimes in their life. And this sort of turns into the principles, the protocols, following all the things, doing all the things. And really what you guys are seeing is a curated day of food, a curated day of fitness, a curated day of things. And it could be them being obsessed with food, being obsessed with perfection. They could be over-exercising. They could be binging at night. Like you just don't know the full picture.

10:02And, you know, I've just seen it so many times I've been around it so often. And there's so many women that have fear of food are scared of food, controlling of food, at war with food, and yet are the people that people are following for fitness and wellness advice or training tips or, you know, it's like, you have to really remember that for someone to get in the space of fitness and wellness, oftentimes it's because they've struggled or because it's been a problem for them or because they've had to overcome something or they're just obsessed with it. And it's the way to channel their obsession basically.

10:41And I think there's a trope in this influencer space. That's like the cool girl where it's like the cool girl eats whatever she wants. And like the cool girl, you know, can have the pizza. Like you've seen that influencers with pizza, which is like my nightmare. And a lot of that is like, that's not healthy or that's not real. When if you're a rail dog, super thin girl, and you're like eating tons of pizza, it's like, that's not a good thing to promote, because that's not realistic for a lot of people to be able to do that, that wouldn't be realistic for me. But also, it's like the other way where it's like, I eat perfectly isn't a helpful thing, because then people feel like they have to eat perfectly.

11:14And it's like, where do we find the medium? And where do we find this space where we're tuning into ourselves? And we're tuning into our own intuition, our own body signals and languages.

11:30Okay, one thing that's really shifted for me during pregnancy is how intentional I've become about what I'm putting in my body. I've always been like that, but I don't know, just like it's a little bit more serious every time. I'm paying more attention to ingredients, sourcing and choosing products that align with the standards I am holding right now. That's why I've been using Rituals Essential Prenatal. It helps me feel supported without overthinking. and I love that it's vegan, non-GMO gluten, and major allergen-free, and made without synthetic colorants. It also includes key nutrients like choline, folate, and omega-3, we know this is very important, in pregnancy with traceable ingredients, which I really, really appreciate.

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12:50one thing I've learned about skincare is that consistency matters so much more than having a bathroom full of expensive products I used to fall for the beautiful packaging or the trendy formulas what was happening on Instagram only to realize a few weeks later that I couldn't realistically keep buying these things or that my routine had become way too complicated to stick with every single day that's why I've been loving Naturium it feels luxurious but it's actually something you can use consistently every day. Their Glow Gooder Bundle has become one of my favorite rituals. The multi-oil body wash feels very nourishing.

13:22I use it in the shower and it leaves my skin feeling super soft, never stripped. And the body scrub, y 'all, the body scrub, I use it in the shower. I use it on my belly. I'm pregnant right now. It just leaves my skin feeling smooth and radiant. And the body oil and body butter together, it leaves my skin feeling nourished, hydrated, glowy. It's fantastic. And I also love that Naturium is clinically effective skincare for everyone, everywhere, every day. And they make skincare feel simple, elevated, and actually sustainable. So give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. You deserve it.

13:54Truly go to naturium.com slash almost 30 for 10 % off your first purchase today. That's naturium.com slash almost 30 N-A-T-U-R-I-U-M.com slash almost 30. The thing is, is like, you don't need her body, you need yours. And you really just want what you think that body will give you, which is confidence, which is attention, which is ease, which is love, which is belonging. We're not following the advice of influencers because we like, you know, we think we're going to get something from having that type of body. And our mind likes to look to the feeling of like, if I look like her or eat like her, then I can feel like that.

14:36Then I can be free or then I can be successful or all these things. And I'm saying this as someone that has done that for a long time in my life. I felt like my life was on the other side of being thin or having a certain type of body and looking a certain way. And that's not how this works. Your body is not just physical. Like this body is not just physical. It's not just what you look like. It's emotional. It's relational. It's shaped by your nervous system. It's shaped by your history and it's shaped by your identity. Like, I think we forget that our body is the home of our soul. It's our vessel for divinity.

15:08And so much more than just like this thing that we can control and contort and cut back on and chess game, all of this stuff. I wrote about this so much in the Almost 30 book. There's a whole chapter on body that I really think you should read, but it's like the body is just so much more than just being this like meat suit that we carry around. And so forcing your body to look like someone else's disconnection or someone else's illness or follow someone else that isn't even on the right path themselves is going to get you no closer to yours. So the quicker that you can get off the bandwagon of following what everyone else is doing online with anything, but especially food and wellness, the better.

15:49And again, you guys, let me just make this crystal freaking clear in saying there's amazing creators and women doing amazing things online with food, nutrition, and body. Amazing women. Incredible. One of my best friends, Jessie, glucose goddess. Incredible work. The hacks have changed millions of people's lives, helped them feel better, be healthier, change their bodies, transform in such a powerful way. There's a lot of incredible creators that are living in integrity, sharing good work, doing good things. I'm not saying that that's not true. Everything always needs to run through your own internal compass, your own internal dialogue, and always needs to be a conversation with yourself about what feels good for you, what feels supportive of you, instead of just following the guide of what everyone else is doing.

16:38Most women that I know, the women that I work with and serve aren't struggling with their body, they're struggling with control. Control around food, control around weight, and control around perception. And control, as we know, is a trauma a response. So we believe that if we get this right, we'll be safe. Maybe if I just knew more information about diets, maybe if I just follow this recipe, maybe if I just do this workout, maybe I just take this supplement, maybe if I just do this thing, then I will figure it out and I'll get it right. Maybe with all this external stuff, I'll finally figure out this journey of my body and then I'll be safe and I'll be loved.

17:16But there's a part of you that wants the perfect body and believes that your worth is on the other side of that perfect body. And then there's another part that often resists this. In metamorphosis, I call this the rebel, the inner rebel. A lot of people that have grown up in the dieting space or dieting from a young age or with a mom that was really hard on them for eating and for their body have a part of you that can self-sabotage or numb or protect with food. and IFS parts work is like, I think essential for healing their relationship with your body, but we can have this like split parts of ourselves.

18:00And in IFS, they call this polarization, but there's a part of you that, you know, wants to get it right and be perfect and like follow all the protocols and do all the right things and buy all the right stuff. And then there's a part of you that often is like self-sabotaging and numbing and protecting you and sometimes protecting you from being seen, sometimes protecting you from being visible, maybe from being desired, maybe from being judged, maybe from changing. And this creates this like internal war that I think a lot of women have that I wanted to also call forward in this post, that one part of you is pushing you to follow the protocol, the principles of the influencer that isn't on the right path anyways.

18:41And then there's another part that's pushing, and your body is oftentimes in the middle where you're having this crazy internal dialogue or war with yourself. And so much of our body conversation is actually so simple, but it's made so complicated because it's so emotional and relational. Food is not just food. Food is not just, if you were to put, you know, a cookie in front of you, there's a lot of drama that's going on in your mind about that cookie. I shouldn't eat that. I should eat that. I ate a lot today. I didn't eat a lot today. I have to earn that. I don't have to earn that. Just a bite.

19:19Oh my God, I'm bad. This is going to make me this. It's going to make me that. I shouldn't eat sugar. I should eat. Is it gluten-free? And a lot of that's fine. It's supportive of our health and clarity and whatever. But then most of it is just so much drama. And so when we're at war with ourselves constantly, and we are just struggling so much to find a peace or a plan, it can be so easy and we can be so vulnerable to follow an influencer or to follow their diet or to follow their protocol or to take their supplements or to take what they're recommending rather than doing our own internal work or our own internal discovery of what is best for us and what is meant for us and what is true for us.

20:04In my practice and in my work in metamorphosis, I don't really talk about or teach what I eat in a day. I've never really done much of that. I have people ask me stuff and I'll kind of answer certain foods that I like, but I don't really talk about or teach that because what I eat in a day to tell you guys that doesn't really make sense because you don't have my, you're not my height. You're not my weight. You don't live where I live. You're not moving what I'm moving. You're not, you know, have the same metabolism, the same history, the same genetics, the same access, the same budget, the same bank account, like, there's so many different the same ancestry, the same taste buds, like, there's so much that goes into what people eat and why they eat.

20:45And the less we can spend focused on what everyone else is eating and how everyone else is eating, and more on what works for us and what doesn't work for us and what's supportive of our body and supportive of our energy and supportive of our vitality, the better. And a lot of this is hard, because this means we have to go inward. And this means we have to look inside of us at what is causing the relationship with food? What is causing us to numb with food? What is causing us to self-sabotage with food? What is causing us to use food as an outlet for joy and pleasure? What is causing us to, you know, spend more time obsessing over food than we are actually eating it during the day?

21:21A lot of times people are thinking about food almost all day long. And then when they actually are eating the food, are trying to rush as much as possible. And so there's this really layered relationship with food. And so to look outside of ourselves makes a lot of sense. It would make a lot of sense to me that we would want relief, and we would want support, and we would want guidance from someone outside of us. But really, the quickest way to find the path that's for you, the most loving path, the most healthy path, the most supportive path is going to be usually finding out on your own, tuning into yourself, healing the relationship you have with yourself, feeling your feelings more so than it is to follow an influencer that, you know, might actually secretly hate themselves in their body and be telling you what to do with yours.

22:11I think it also makes me sad when I pontificate on it a little bit because there's also this element of like making money off of people, you know, like benefiting from people's insecurities and, you know, leveraging an audience of people that might be vulnerable and using them to make money on whatever you're selling or shelling. And having that benefit you and having that be just kind of short-sighted of what people are going through and what people struggle with. And I think on my journey, I've always sought to be honest and open about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, but not be too much into that because I do want people to find their own path, whether that's blood work, working with a functional medicine doctor, finding the right supplement protocol, finding the right peptide for them, whatever that is.

23:01It's like showing them what I'm doing, but then also being like, it is for you to discover and you to be in your process with.

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