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26:22it's just not the only thing that many of us want. And now we see, like, I mean, you're pregnant, you're doing this interview. I've, you know, I'm traveling right now. It's a Monday. It's a school week. But there are still a lot of people who do not feel the permission to do that because of the judgment that you receive when you are a woman and you decide to go after what you want. And even the disappointment, shame, and grief that lives in that might be something that you've been carrying that you need to get curious about to be able to get to where I go in the book, which is the remembering of who you were before you had to carry all of those things.

27:00And so just because you have a new idea of who you are, that you feel now that you have to put on this armor of who you have to be, because, okay, I'm a mom. So that means I only can do these things, or I'm a wife or even sometimes it's I'm a CEO. And so that means I don't get to be a mom. Whatever it is, that's a point of inquiry for us as we begin to move into this moment of transformation.

27:31Lindsey Simcik:Yeah, it leaves so much more room for nuance. You know, I think, yeah, because I was thinking about, I have friends who are CEOs, but also moms and just feel that tug and pull and it's both, you know, and I'm kind of in that mom era where I'm like, who, like I am this absolutely, but also, you know, being pulled to other things, but maybe not in this moment, but what does it mean that it's not in this moment? Will it ever get done? You know, it's just this very nuanced, complex experience when you're kind of, um, it feels like a little bit of an in-between, but I, I love the, the point of allowing yourself to grieve a little bit because it's, I think it's proof that you are passionate and that you love and that like there is a connection or once was a connection to the thing, you know?

28:31Lindsey Simcik:And still. Yes, totally. I mean, I, there's, there's still moments where I think about things that I wanted to do that I maybe didn't take seriously or maybe didn't think, well, that's for those people. You know, that's not something I would get to do. Sometimes we didn't have enough self-belief to be able to do some of the things we wanted to do. I do believe that ultimately a lot of people right now are waking up in the morning, their feet are hitting the floor and they are thinking to themselves, there has to be more to my life than this. There has to be more than me just taking care of everyone.

29:10There has to be more than me just sitting through a meeting where no one actually cares about what I have to say. There has to be more than me just doing this thing. And there's nothing more frustrating than spending or dedicating a large amount of time to a relationship, to a career, and realizing this is not it. I have to start again. if you are in our age group, if you're entering midlife, that is the last thing that you want to hear. I mean, I didn't realize how uncomfortable getting older could be until I started getting older. And it's fun and it's brilliant and it's amazing. But you realize, one, the time that used to feel like was endless it's not and two one we don't have the energy that we used to to dedicate and to i mean like i don't know about you but i can't pull it all nighter anymore no i don't want

30:12Lindsey Simcik:to i don't want to i want to be in bed at nine oh yeah girl i mean i need to be way more rested than I was in my 20s. I can't. I can't do a Red Bull. Oh my God. The way I used to sling back sugar-free Red Bulls is illegal. Sugar-free Red Bull. Glass of wine to go to bed. I can't do that anymore. And I don't want to. But I also believe that a lot of us have found different ways to try to keep ourselves productive for things that we don't care about. And I do believe that there is like a coast playing of wellness that I've seen happening where it's like, oh, I'm going to do all of these things. I'm going to creatine.

30:53I'm going to electrolyte. And I'm, I'm taking the creatine. I'm taking the electrolytes, but like it's, we're thinking it's going to get you to a place of like, oh, I'm going to be able to do what I was able to do with the Red Bull and wine days. It's like, no, we just don't have the energy to keep up. So our time is more limited because of that. So what we spend our intentions on is more limited because of that. And so you really are worried about the riskiness of taking the chance to start again. Because will it work out? And if it doesn't work out, I don't want to give five years to this if it's not going to work out.

31:27Like in five years, I'll be this age. You think so much differently. And so I say all that to say, if you are struggling with starting again, even though you know that it's time for you to make a move, you need to be a lot more compassionate about how hard it is to make that shift because transformation is not easy no matter how exciting the other side is going to be. Making the decision to choose yourself is going to be a change that probably upends much of your life. And I'm being like kind with that word. It's probably going to blow your life up. Your partner is going to be invited into a journey that they did not foresee going on with you.

32:09And you will learn whether you have the kind of partner who is willing to go on it with you or not. things will change. And so you're not lazy. You're not deciding that, you know, you're not worth it. You're not ignoring yourself for on purpose. You're doing it because if you say yes, you can't continue to betray yourself anymore.

32:34Lindsey Simcik:Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. The self-betrayal is so painful. It eats away at you. You don't realize you're doing it until like it's eaten a decent part of you. And then you wake up one day and you're like, wait, what? You know, there's just, yeah, it's a very specific experience when done over time.

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34:29Lindsey Simcik:One thing I really try to stay consistent with is my morning routine. Even when my schedule gets really busy or I'm traveling, which I'm doing next week, I really like to have something to help me start my day feeling really good, really healthy. And for me, the challenge is doing that even when I'm on the go. But I have been loving and saying this from the rooftops, cachava. Their new travel packs make it so easy to throw a pack into my bag and still have my favorite all-in-one nutrition shake wherever I am, whether I'm heading to the studio or traveling to LA like I am next week or just running between things, it really helps me keep that ritual of nourishing myself without overthinking it.

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36:00Lindsey Simcik:So knowing that it could essentially kind of blow up your life. And I say that in kind of an excited way, because I think there's like an aspect of it that's scary and the initial shock, but also there is a liberation in kind of that blank slate in not having the pressures that were once kind of weighing you down every single day. What is that first or first few steps or ways in which you would coach someone to make it a sustainable, somewhat manageable journey that they're going on? Yes. So I want to start, I'm going to just do three things because I think that would be easier for people. The first thing is it's small steps every day.

36:55And so I use this as an example. Let's say you want to redesign your bathroom. If you're someone like me who is design challenged, that sounds overwhelming um and so i definitely would look at my bathroom and think i have no idea where to start i have no idea what to do yeah and i would do that probably every day for years so what i do is i talk about it in the book but we want to just start with the trash can if you could get your dream trash can what would it be and i would think i'm thinking personally it would be one that I just press the button. It opens, it closes slow, doesn't make a large sound.

37:30It has the liners that fit. And then I just start looking just for that trash can. Once I get the trash can, what it does is one, it reminds me that I may be quote unquote design challenge, but look at this fantastic trash can I just picked out. It helps you to build self-trust with yourself when you start small. A lot of times we think I have to overhaul everything at once. It will become a project that is too hard to manage because everything is in motion. If I just start with the trash, now I have a place to put all the rest of the junk as I move through. And so then I can do the shower curtain.

38:07Then I can do this. Then I can do that. And so if you think about your own life, what's the first small step that you want to take that's going to be helpful for you? Nothing related to this project. So for me right now, if I wanted to actually begin to start something that I want to do that I'm excited about working on, I'd have to clean out my email. And I know that's not very large. Well, that's large. I mean, it's not very small. But what I've done is I just have to do 10 emails a day. Okay. It's just 10 emails a day. And I'm not starting anything else until I do that. Like that's the thing that I need to do.

38:40Why? It's just taking up clutter in my mind. For some people, they have 17 ,000 emails and it's nothing. thing. If that's you, don't start with the email. Start with the thing that every time you walk into your home or every time you're about to start something, you think, you know what I should really be doing right now? And it's like, why don't we just start with that and start small with that? Because it's just an opportunity for procrastination to find a way to distract you because you're actually probably not ready to start. And that leads me to number two. The second thing that I talk about in the book is the seven seas of purpose.

39:12and when we think about the dream that's inside me or whatever it is I want to really be doing, what we're talking about is creating a meaningful life for ourselves that is beyond whatever it is that we do in the world. For some people, it will be your job. Like you run this beautiful podcast. That is your business. That can be the thing that crosses both the purpose and the meaning. But for other people, it'll be something that's completely unrelated to what they do in their daily life. One of the things that the seven C's of purpose allows us to remember is that if we follow these C's, one of them, I'm going to name a few, but for example, if you're doing something that's challenging, you would think that's probably not something that would give me meaning that's going to be a headache.

39:59Actually, we tend to not stick to things that aren't challenging. So if you have something that you are calling your purpose, but it feels very easy, you will most likely drop that and move to something else. This happens a lot with people who say, I want to pick up a new hobby. Have you ever noticed people who pick up a new hobby and it's like, oh, I want to make pottery and they kill it the first time. They never go back. They rarely go back because it didn't give them the mental challenge they needed to be able to sit down and figure something out. And so the same is for me with writing. This is my third book.

40:30I love it so much because not only do I love it, but every time I do it as a challenge, One of the other C's is choice. We usually like to do things that we have a say in. I have a teenager. If I give her choice, it is more likely that she will buy into it, even if I am the one whose idea it is. And so asking yourself, did I choose this or is this something that people said, oh, you have great style. You should start styling people. Do you really want to do that? Or is that just something that people, you know, suggested and now you're doing that? So the seven C's help us to really begin to connect to, is this something that's going to keep me in it?

41:10The last C that I'll share is committed. Because like I said in the first one, if I'm not actually committed to it, I won't stick to it. Then you move into the third thing that I would recommend. So we're going to start small, small things every day. The step two is, what are the things that are going to keep me committed? Am I going to be challenged? What am I going to choose? And then the third is how am I going to make space for what I'm trying to bring into my life? Something's got to go. So you don't have to make any choices right now about what is going to leave, but begin to get curious about maybe some of the things that you've said yes to that you don't actually have the space for, you don't have the time for, or you just don't actually want to be doing them.

41:51Right. So this is going to sound terrible, but for me, it was a PTA. I not only did not want to do it I did not have the time for it but I felt parent teacher association parent teacher association you were asked to do it or you volunteered I was asked okay and I was like oh that'd be great but then they like put my name down and I was like damn I don't want to do this but I knew I would be good for the job and I knew they needed someone like me in it and then I also just kind of felt guilty and like a bad mom for having never been on any of either kids PTA. So I joined and then I started getting the emails and I was like, I actually cannot do this.

42:32So I had to send an email and say, like, I really wish you guys well, but I have to like bow out because I have a job. Like I have two kids and the PTA at my kids school is run like a nonprofit. So that kind of conversation could have been avoided had I been honest and honored that like when I initially was asked, it was a clean no. And so as much as I've, you know, my previous book was about boundaries, I've talked about them before, but we're still always working on those things. And so that was something that had to go if I really wanted to be able to have the time for myself. And so when I say blow up your life, it might not be like necessarily your marriage, but there may be a lot of things that you said yes to that need to go.

43:19Lindsey Simcik:So when you're looking at things that need to go, it's the feeling of a clear no. It's a clear no. And I know, you know, like you may not want to know because it's going to hurt that person's feelings. Like the PTA was easier because I'll move on. They'll move on. There's tons of people who want to do it. But when it's like, I don't want to be a maid of honor. Right. Right. Because I don't think I have the space for what that role is going to require. That's a lot harder to say no to. Sure. And so or maybe it's because you can't afford it or, you know, whatever the reason is, those conversations could could really blow your life up.

44:00Or if your spouse wants another child and you don't because you don't have the space or the time. And so those are those bigger things that we have to be honest with ourselves about that we know. We know the answer. We just are wondering, can we be flexible with it? Because it seems easier to just do it than to have the conversation that you're going to have to face. Yeah.

44:25Lindsey Simcik:And it just brings me back to what you were saying earlier around self-trust. Like when anytime I've said no and been clear about it, sure, it might disappoint some people. Maybe I have a little like, you know, disappointment hangover myself. But then in the privacy of my own home, I'm like, yes, good job. Like you did that. Like that was for you. And you knew that and you were clear and you communicated it. And that's built a muscle over time that, you know, has served me in this season of my life where like I don't have capacity for everything, you know, and I can't feel bad about it and I can't meddle in how everyone feels about it, you know.

45:10Lindsey Simcik:and so yeah I think so much of this is like building that self-trust which builds the confidence and what we're talking about is like taking the actual action you know doing the small thing saying no like we can't just be thinking about it no you know I think so much of the book is is really supporting people and it's like we get to take action in our life we don't need to just sit here and do the things that we've always done. Right. You know? And it's killing us. I think the other thing that we don't admit is a lot of us, like if you're admitting that you're burnt out, you're past it. Yeah, for sure.

45:53And we can burn ourselves out on living in a way that is not an integrity with what we really want and who we really are. You don't realize that until you get older because you can kind of do a lot of pretending when you're young. The validation feeds you as you grow. And when I say older, I don't necessarily mean it's not always age. It could be in wisdom. As you grow, it drains. The validation you thought you were receiving is now a leak. And so I am really in a place where I don't feel because, you know, this is my third book. And the first one was about, you know, set these boundaries. And I was like, oh, yeah.

46:37And then I realized my clients are setting these boundaries. They're losing relationships. They're walking away from things, but still not full yet. And then, you know, my second book was Wisdom of the Path. Okay, you bring these lessons with you and then it's going to grow. And then it's, no, we're still not there yet because what happens after I set the boundaries, after I get the wisdom, then I begin to move into what I want. And now I have to really begin to investigate what are the stories I'm telling myself that are keeping me from being able to actually live in my truth. And am I willing to walk away from those stories?

47:13The stories are really cozy. It's a lot easier to live there than to have the hard conversations and maybe be in it by yourself. I talk about this in the book, but one of the things I've been practicing, and this is funny, I'll tell a funny story. I was at a party in the city the other day and this woman asked me how I was doing. And I've really been practicing just being honest. And I want to be clear that I'm not a liar, but I think what we all do is we say, I'm good. How are you? And I told this woman how I was feeling and she about faced. And I did not overshare. I'm not an oversharer. I shared with boundaries, but it was just honest.

47:54And my friend and I were laughing and I was like, maybe that was too much. And it was funny, but it was like, okay, now I know she's not my person.

48:03Lindsey Simcik:And also it speaks to like people's inability sometimes to hold, you know, like she didn't need to fix it. She didn't need to do anything. No. But it's like, now I know she's not my person. She for sure knows I'm not hers. And we don't waste any time because that's how we get in those situations where we're like, oh everything's fine yeah no yeah it's so true yeah and also I mean I feel relief when people tell me how they're actually doing because I definitely get in that mode sometimes where I'm like I don't want to go there so I'm just like I'm okay I'm good um but that is a little tiny form of self-abandonment or self-betrayal in that moment because I'm either I'm not good or I'm overwhelmed and it would actually be beneficial to maybe share that not needing anything from the other person other than just like a being, another human being and reminding people that that's okay.

48:59Lindsey Simcik:But yeah, I think it's so, it's so powerful. But I think the more you are yourself in these moments, you get so much more information that's helpful for your path. Like you said, like, I know she's not my person. I know this, like you, if you're not yourself in these moments, you're getting false, like feedback in a way. You're just, you're not getting the right data. And you believe yourself. Yes. Over time. That's the scariest part. Yeah. Because you believe the lie. You believe the lie. You're living the lie. That's why one day you wake up and you're like, what, what was, what, what has the last decade been?

49:37How did I get here? Sure. And that's when you really start to go into that mode of, oh, I'm burning it down because I, you know, I can't live one more moment like this. And I think that we can prevent that a bit by being honest. But I also think that there is a natural burn it down moment that happens when women are like, OK, I'm not doing this anymore. Whether it's I'm not pretending, I'm not portraying myself, I'm not keeping the peace, I'm not keeping them comfortable. And you notice it like I can I can notice when I'm sitting with someone who is performing. performing. They don't know they're performing, but I know.

50:19And you can see how the mood changes. Everyone around is like, wow, like really like they're like, hi, how's our, you know, like there's this mask. We've all worn a mask. We've all tried to just pretend that the pain we're feeling, the disappointment we're feeling, the dream, the tug, whatever it is, doesn't exist because it's too painful to face it. I really believe if we just look, we'll free ourselves in a way that we do not imagine is possible. I totally agree with you.

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51:30Lindsey Simcik:spring's calling ross work your magic

51:37Lindsey Simcik:what would you say about because i feel like i've kind of felt this in more recent years where you mentioned earlier just feeling like i we don't have as much time or energy for certain things which i know to be true and also what are your thoughts on the idea that life is long And like, I feel like everyone feels like they have to get it all done in their 20s, 30s, 40s, mostly 20s, 30s. It feels like a very intense, energetic time for just producing things, getting, you know, reaching your goals and successes. What do you think about that? I mean, looking back, life is a lot longer than I realized for certain.

52:26I will also say, though, you're broke in your 20s and 30s for most of us. And so the inclination to work hard isn't just because you want to be successful. It's because you want to pay your bills. You might want to move out. And so I can really understand that desire to get it going so that you can feel a sense of safety. I talk about this, too. And I've been experiencing this within myself, redefining what safety means. Sometimes we're moving and pushing for a goal because we're still operating from that scarcity that hasn't existed in a really long time. But we haven't had a moment to like remind ourselves, oh, wait, everything's fine now.

53:07I'm just now starting to be like, wait a second.

53:09Lindsey Simcik:I know. Yeah. Maybe I don't have to do this in the way that I've been doing it. And I think that that is something. And you may not be, to be clear, like this isn't about having millions of dollars now or having a mansion or any of those things which are wonderful and lovely, but you can be really comfortable in a smaller version of your dream than you initially realized and like enjoy. Yes. And what would that be like? What would it be like to be proud of yourself before the big announcements and all of these things? And I don't know that we talk about that form of achievement and abundance. It's like the blessings are on their way to you.

53:54But what if they're here? What if they're already here and I'm just not looking at them so I don't see it?

54:01Lindsey Simcik:Yeah. Yeah, I love that. the just really um honoring them honoring the let me articulate this in a way that is clear because it really hit me like the I think we hold out on ourselves celebrating honoring like just really like being proud of ourselves and whatever that looks like until the very specific thing happens. And I just think it's so, we're just holding ourselves back from experiencing so much more joy in the process. And I think that's why people don't love, say people in general, but like don't love a process because they're holding it out until the very end. And so to your point of like, okay, maybe we're not in like the dream home we imagined or, you know, bringing in a salary that's the dream salary we imagined, but like we're so good and like life is so beautiful and good and peaceful and stable.

55:14Lindsey Simcik:Like, can we be here? Can we be proud of like thus far what we've created? My belief is that that it creates more, you know, eventually because you're kind of in that more of a place of gratitude. But it's just such an interesting thing we do as human beings. We just hold it out here. Like not there yet. You know, and it's – I talk to my husband about this a lot because sometimes he does that. And I'm like, look at our life. Like it's so beautiful. And I know it will get more beautiful. I get that. And he has to remind me of this too. But it's like, this is so crazy that you went from this to this.

56:02Lindsey Simcik:And now we're here. And we're going to say in 20 years, you know, it's just, I try to kind of expand the life, you know, a little bit. Where we're like, we get to look back at this. Yes. You know, like hopefully. Yes. And I think also, we're not trying to save that little girl anymore. Or that little version of us anymore. If you can allow that part of you to speak, you'll realize that they're actually trying to save you now. They're like, can you remember that we worked to get here so that we could have the joy and fun and play and flexibility that you've forgotten? I also feel, too, that this is not the elimination of goals.

56:46This isn't the elimination of working for whatever you desire. But it is redefining it in that why does it always have to ask such a big part of yourself? Why does there always have to be so much suffering? I ask myself this because I think that I am a person that was wired for hustle, wired for like scrappiness, like we got to get it going. And it's made me really successful. and and it's interesting too I just want to say this because there's been a lot of conversation about like trad wife life versus girl boss which I really love because I've never seen women giving themselves permission to really be like I just want to be a trad wife or I just want to be a girl boss I just want to you know whatever you know pick your poison um but I but I I'm very interested in why we feel we have to choose one.

57:43Lindsey Simcik:I know. And I'm also, and to be clear, like, I'm the least traditional wife, like, in my own, like, that's just not who I am. And I feel very strongly that there are moments where I wouldn't have given myself permission to be cared for or supported because I was so tied to one idea or one way of being or believing. And so my point in mentioning that is just I do feel that the good thing about these kinds of conversations or just seeing the discourse online is that we finally got into a place where we realize women are the people that get to choose what they want for themselves. I hope that the women are the ones that are in the driver's seat of what they're choosing for themselves.

58:31and if we're in the driver's seat, are we actually asking ourselves if this is what we want? And I also, beyond what we want, then the action that comes behind it, what are we going to do with what we want? Have you ever had a lunch or been at an event with someone and they're talking about their goal or every time you see them, they're talking about what they wish they could have done? Like, you know, one day I'm going to write a book. I don't know when I'm going to get around to it. And it's just like, well, when? When are you going to sit down at the computer or sit down at the pad and write?

59:06And that, the part that's keeping you from doing it, that's what the book is going to help people with. it's usually there's something living in between you and the thing that is keeping you from doing it it's not that you're not resourced people write books on the back of receipts it's not that you don't have the skill we we see very well you do not have to be the most talented person to have a book come out it's not talent that keeps people doing what they want it's it's the determination, it's really the ability to go after it. And so what is it that you believe to be true about who you are, where you come from, or your makeup that you believe that there's something else that you need?

59:53Another version of that is people that feel like, well, I have to go back to school for that. Have you ever met the person that's like, I got to get another degree. And then once I get that degree, then I'll be able to get the certificate. And it's like, they're just addicted to the process of doing what they believe they need to get there and never get there. So if you're listening to this and you're thinking to yourself that this is hitting something within you where you're like, I definitely feel like I'm in a moment of transformation. I definitely feel like I'm ready for something different.

1:00:23I definitely want to take a chance on myself. Then this is an opportunity or an invitation, what I call it in the book or in my work. It's an invitation for you to begin to ask yourself, what does it look like for you to give yourself the freedom and the space to explore it in a way that, because if you get this book, you're going to end up doing something with it. There are steps throughout it that actually help you move out of your own way. And as someone who's living my own very messy middle comeback era moment right now. I know that it's uncomfortable. I wouldn't have chosen it. And I am receiving more love, support, and I'm getting to know a version of myself that I didn't know existed.

1:01:12I don't believe I would have met her without hitting a bottom.

1:01:16Lindsey Simcik:That's the thing. I know. It's like, not to be corny, but there's just so much there for us when we allow that, what we thought our life was or what was sure or who we were to just kind of dissolve a little bit. And then we're kind of in that, like the unknown ooze, like there's just a lot there if we're willing to be there, you know, and I think it's just very uncomfortable in general. um can you speak to this moment for you this like messy middle middle comeback like what has been your biggest challenge and biggest like learning through it I know you're still in it but just to kind of I know it will get this is why I love you and your work it's like you're so you are yourself so much completely in these moments.

1:02:21Lindsey Simcik:And you live the work. But what has been most challenging and what has just, I guess, come to light because you've been there, like because you're actually here and present to it? Yeah. I will absolutely say that I think I've been in a moment of comparison. it's hard not to be when you're in an industry like podcasting books anything that's again a bit public but not even at work if you you know receive an assessment everyone's talking about it but the comparison that I've been experiencing has definitely been based on I am in a place where I was worried that I was failing in my industry with my books it wasn't doing what I thought that it would do.

1:03:05And I was doing everything that I thought I needed to. And I don't think there's anything harder than when you show up and it still doesn't work out the way that you hoped. And so privately, and this isn't the only thing I was going through, but this was just one of the many things. I was having some personal stuff too. But it started to look like this was just evidence of, I'm just not doing enough right now. I'm just not meeting the mark. And so I'm the kind of person that when things start to fail, I go into go mode and I go into fix it mode. But this was the first time in my life where I could not move.

1:03:44I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't operate in the way that I felt had saved myself so many times. And then it's like, I just began to watch myself not be able to save myself. And so I was experiencing it pretty silently. The shame was incredibly loud. I was struggling to even like do interviews. Like I, the words weren't there. Like all of the parts of me that I'm like, oh, this is a strength that I know at least I can rely on this, gone. And so a few weeks ago, actually, I finally decided I'm going to share this publicly. I'm going to share this on my Instagram. No one may see it, but I'm going to share it.

1:04:32And I think at least it'll free me. And I think as someone who lives in integrity, unfortunately to a fault, because I think most people would just move on. And I was worried because I think I didn't want people to think, well, she's a mess. So we're not going to do a partnership with her. I knew I was going to be judged. Sure. When you're honest, you're going to be judged. And when you say something like, oh, I'm not doing well in an area where everyone thinks that you should be doing well. And I think after I shared it, so much began to become clear to me. First of all, how well I've made it look like I don't need help.

1:05:16I cannot believe how well I put... I'm not even doing it on purpose. I think I must just look pretty well put together when actually I needed help for a long time. I think secondly, I am probably being judged in some places, in some group chats, which is fine, but I think the support was overwhelmingly positive and people were feeling exactly the same and just not sharing it. And I think third, the shame disappeared instantly within me. Once I shared it publicly, it was like, oh, I don't have to pretend. I don't have to go on this tour and act like I have it all together. I get to go here and say, yeah, the irony is that my book is called The Comeback Era and I'm in a moment where things aren't working out the way that I hoped.

1:06:09And now I have to tell you as the author that I'm talking about something that I haven't necessarily figured out because as humans, we go through these phases again and again and again. This is like my umpteenth. But I think that I've learned that I'm stronger when I'm vulnerable. I'm stronger when I allow myself to be seen falling apart a little bit and that there is community on the bathroom floor. The way that I feel, even the way that I'm answering you right now is not something that I would have said before. And I don't think that I've ever been more proud of myself to be in a place where I only want people who see me in this moment.

1:06:56And if I'm not a match for you because of this, that's fine. But I wasn't pretending before. There was definitely a mask on. Again, being public, it is a different version of you. You're yourself, but a different version. And right now I'm just, you know, going on, going on this journey a little exposed has been incredibly healing for me. So, yeah.

1:07:19Lindsey Simcik:Yeah. I mean, thank you for sharing that. I, when I saw your video, I told you this when you came in, like it was so refreshing and I know that wasn't your intention, but like just as someone who's been in the, um, this process of writing a book and releasing a book to the world and working with a publisher and all the things. It's not what you think it is. You know, there's so much happening behind the scenes, both on your end as the writer. There's the business of the book. There's these like spoken and unspoken expectations. There's just so much happening. And I was just really inspired by you sharing honestly, because, you know, we went through some of the same struggles of like numbers not being what the publisher wanted, numbers being disappointing to us.

1:08:20Lindsey Simcik:But at the same time, I was like outside of that I'm so proud I'm so proud of our book I I know you are deeply proud of this book and so what is that I'm like that really made me look at that duality of like I'm having fun we're like creating this fun content for the yeah a lot of it isn't working from a numbers perspective. Right. But I think it looks fantastic. It feels fantastic to her. Like I had to stay and I probably was annoying Krista at times because I'm just like, we wrote a book. Like, I don't know. Like, I think when I'm 60, I'm going to be like, I wrote a book. Yes. Do you know what I mean?

1:09:09Lindsey Simcik:Yes. So like, yes. Like I, I, I, I feel you so deeply. And I'm so happy you shared that because a lot of people, whether they comment or not, are like, damn, she said it. Like it's just such a real thing. And especially for creators who bump up against the business of, it's like, don't steal my joy. Don't steal the piece of art that I just created for the world just because this isn't lining up with your vision for whatever. Like, whatever, we could talk forever on that. But yeah, there was a part of me that was awoken that I was like, no, like, you're not going to steal that from me.

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1:10:35Lindsey Simcik:This is your last chance to shop up to 50 % off site-wide during the Memorial Day mega sale at blinds.com. Rules and restrictions apply. And I think also the comparison part that I mentioned is... The comparison. You can't compare yourself to someone's book tour who is being run by, like, a multimillion-dollar machine. A hundred percent. And I think that is what sometimes we see and we're like, I want it to look like this. I want it to feel like this. and you really just have to root yourself in one, the people that are meant to see it are going to receive it. Two, it is successful. It is. That's the thing.

1:11:14It's the comparison part. And I think three, I really want to enjoy this. You know, I'm lucky to have, I worked really hard for it, but I'm also, I feel lucky to have written three books and I want to enjoy this one and be fully present to it. And so I'm trying to allow myself to do both, but I named it. And it's funny. There's a lot of people that are like, well, don't call it failure because it hasn't failed yet. And I agree with that, but I think it's important to say, and it hasn't failed yet, that's the truth. But the feeling of a fear that comes when you are afraid something might fail is so important to name.

1:11:52And I think that more people are experiencing it in many different areas and they want to admit and are afraid of what will happen when they say it out loud.

1:12:01Lindsey Simcik:Yes. Yeah. When you name it, it really kind of, yeah, it takes the charge away a little bit, you know, and it also frees you. Like I just, yeah, I can't say that enough. That's what I felt from your message from that video. This has been amazing. What would you leave with our audience who so many of them are feeling like they've been kind of on autopilot living a life that like yeah they thought they wanted to live and then they kind of wake up and they're like I don't want to live here anymore I don't want to do this for a career I have a burning passion inside of me that I haven't realized yet like actually fulfilled what would you what would your message be for them?

1:12:48Lindsey Simcik:Not even first step, it's just the message for them. Yeah. I would say if you're starting to feel like you can't sleep when you go to bed and you're scrolling in your phone and when you're scrolling in your phone and you see people living their dream and you feel that sadness come up or that jealousy come up or those feelings that remind you that watching other people live the way that they want to is uncomfortable for you. It's not because you're not a good person. It's because you have something in you that is burning to come out that you have not given light to. And if you don't know how you're going to make it work, that's fine.

1:13:30That's not the work right now. The work right now is to just give yourself permission to be available for something to change, whatever it is that has to change, for something to become free within you so that you can do what it is that you desire. And so ultimately, I hope that you will give yourself permission this year to do what it is that you want to be doing. And I hope that you know that it's going to be a hard journey sometimes, but the part when people say it's always worth it. It's how you feel about yourself when you finally get to the end of whatever it is. It's not the validation.

1:14:10That's what was so confusing for me because I thought, oh, when you get to the end, it'll be successful because people are cheering because you've been on TV. No, it's how you feel about yourself. That's the part you carry with you. So I hope that you will give yourself the opportunity to experience what is possible for you and what you can actually do.

1:14:27Lindsey Simcik:Mm-hmm. This is your comeback era, baby. Yeah. It's so, so, so powerful. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your story and continuing to, you know, I think that's what's, again, what I love about your writing. It's like, this is, you are not someone who has fully processed everything and perfect. And now you're writing the books. It's like, this is a work in progress. And to remind people that that is part of the point of life, you know, is to be so present for this process that is sculpting you and shaping you into more of who you really are. And I love the branding of the comeback era because it does feel so just empowering and exciting and fun.

1:15:13Lindsey Simcik:And like, even though it's, it can be very hard, it does give that like just energy and motivation around it that I really, really love. Yeah. There's a lot of fun in this. Yes, there is. It's such a fun book. Yeah. Like you will, like she said, like you will pick up this book and you will make moves. Yes. Which I love. Yes. It's like a little back pocket best friend. Yes. I adore you. Thank you for being here. Congratulations. Thank you. Happy, happy book launch, all the things. Yes. I know. The book is everywhere books are sold. Yes. Yep. It's very exciting. Awesome. Well, thank you. Thank you.

1:15:50Lindsey Simcik:Love y 'all for listening. I'll see you later. Bye.

1:15:56Lindsey Simcik:Thank you so much, Yasmin. I appreciate you being here in person. It was a joy and a pleasure to just go deep on this book and where you are in your life. And I know it will just bring a lot of comfort to people and confidence to people. Her book is The Comeback Era. It's out everywhere. Books are sold online, in person. Get it now. It is an incredible read. It makes a perfect gift for people navigating kind of that like stuckness and that like knowing that you are made for more. And thank you for listening to Almost 30. We have two new episodes every single week. So if you could subscribe anywhere you listen to the pod, and then we're also on YouTube, make sure you're a subscriber there.

1:16:39Lindsey Simcik:We have gorgeous video. I'm currently at Thera's studio in New York City. Love recording here. So check us out. And what else? We're on Instagram, TikTok, at Almost 30 Podcast. Great content and clips on there. We have YouTube shorts for you. It's all out there. Thank you for just being so sweet and loyal and supportive. Over the last 10 years, we are just happy to serve you. Okay, we'll see you on the next one. Bye, everybody.

1:17:20Thank you.