883. Why your purpose is asking you to let go (not push harder) with Blu + Lily Ashwell

41:45No, that's crazy. It was crazy work. Like sometimes she's done the truth. I thought you did maybe because you saw her had purchased five. She had purchased five decks. No. No. Yeah. There was like this cosmic ping that had happened. I was on the side of the planet. I was in Greece. She's in Los Angeles. And because I just bought her deck, her name, I was like, oh, wow. And she sent this beautiful message. and I was like well I'm giving a talk at the Conscious Life Expo if you want to come by you know I'll be able to see you then and she did which again is another really out of character it's almost like something was moving her that she just knew inside of her being that she just needed to be there and at the Conscious Life Expo at the end of my talk there was like a meeting greet and I was like like a line and she waited in the line and the second I hugged her that feeling I talked to you about before we started filming I knew when I hugged her I was like oh wow like this person's going to be a significant role in my life and when I hugged her at the end um we had like a sweet little moment and that was it and then we'd messaged each other afterwards and I went over to her house for lunch and kept being inseparable ever since wow did you also have that feeling too yeah yeah I was in a very strange chapter of my life I'd kind of blown my whole life up and I was living at the time in Topanga in an unfurnished rental and like mattress on the floor vibes just very limbo and so I was and I again I wasn't forcing the pillars of my life to start taking shape again but I was my prayer was very much about bringing the people and the and the anchors back in but only what was going to feel truly authentic and expansive and and I came across one of Blue's podcasts and I just had a a feeling that she was someone that I needed to know and and it yeah and then she and then she moved five minutes away from me.

43:47To Depengate it wasn't a plan either but I just I happened to move five minutes down the road from but I have. Wow. That's it. I love that. I you've said it, I think twice now. And I just love the concept of the choiceless choice. And that is like, oh man, I pray for everyone to have that experience. Cause I'm just having the words in context to think about that of like meeting Lindsay or doing almost 30, like there have been such things in my life that felt so fluid and felt so natural. And I was even saying that someone was asking me about like finding my person and dating. And they're like, what do you want them to be like?

44:20What do wanted to be like and i just was like i wanted to feel like how it felt like with lindsey where we met and it was like okay now we're now we're moving forward and it wasn't like it was obviously amazing and magnetic but it was just like now you're here now i'm here now we can move forward to where we're supposed to go or what we're supposed to do and it feels like that choiceless choice yeah there's a current yes and it's when you're aligned yes the courage just takes you yes and so there is a feeling inside of our body even the mind can make up stories and try to understand it or project it from past experiences or have fear from past moments of being hurt and project it onto a future timeline of what this may be or what it might not be but there is a current in life there is a hum in life that when we can actually quiet ourselves down enough our body remembers and taps into this flow and when we meet another person it kind of reminds me of in finding nemo when those turtles are like come on me it's getting the floor

45:22i've met the most significant people in my life when i have found the current and they happen to be there too for you guys both you know you mentioned transformation season you were kind of like when you met you were like i'm what is up with my life all the pillars are gone i'm in this season and then you're not you know afraid of transformation and seasons of transition yourself. A lot of people and even myself are going through periods of deep transformation and feeling lost but found and all of that. So can you guys talk about some of the seasons of your life where you were going through deep transformation and transition and what that's been like?

45:59Truthfully, it's been my entire 30s. My life felt very established by 30. My 20s felt like really, I felt very anchored in my career and in my relationship and in my friend groups. And, and at 30, I had this Saturn return experience where I understood everything that I had built was not actually it. And that there was a version of myself that couldn't come online within these structures. And so I, I took all the scaffolding down and I just turned 39 and - because you're not casual things, that you're, you're casually talking about very non-casual things. I realized nothing in my life was actually real or aligned.

46:46And so I started to take it all down. Like, that's fucking crazy. It's, it was truly that. That's crazy. Like, most people were like, oh, they realize that. And they're like, no, no. And they keep it. And they're like, more, build more. Like, for you as a soul, that's what's so cool about being a, like, when you're a soul, You're just like, the soul's like, sorry, man. You know what I mean? Like we got a, pillars are gone. Like it's like. Isn't that just life? It's like, like we don't keep our body. It's, you know, it's, it's castles made of sand fall into the sea eventually. It's we build these structures and we become so overly identified with the structures.

47:24But really, the work is in the evolution and the alchemy and the growth that happens while we're building. And the minute that we become overly identified with what it is we're building, it's over, you know. And so I had to let it all go. And long story short, I had some chronic health stuff that came up. And as soon as I took all of the pillars of my life apart, I got so much sicker. And I now realize that the symptoms and what felt like me being so much sicker was always there, but I was just too distracted and I wasn't connected enough with myself to actually hear the signals, the pain that my body was holding.

48:21and so that that took quite some time many years of needing to just be with my body and just listen to it and and so to answer your question I would say I have so many experiences of since since that big bust up of my life there have been every few years kind of versions of that and so I've become very practiced in the art of letting go and trusting that process of dismantling. And I think it's allowing the grief, allowing the fear, but holding on to like a bedrock of trust underneath it all and remembering the intelligence of life woven through even what feels so wrong. And I know that I would rather be alone and I'd rather feel like I'm in a void than be surrounded by distraction or noise that isn't true and that isn't right.

49:32And so for me, it's, I don't have the answer. I just know that leaning into, into trust and that create, we have to create the space in order for God to bring us what it is that is, is true and is aligned. And so I was very much in that place. And when Blue came into my life, and that was just, you know, that was definitely a God thing. I know. And if I hadn't had the space, then it wouldn't have happened. I want to hear yours. And I just also want to say, too, I also love that you put in an effort. Yeah. You know, for the friendship. You're like, I listened to the ping, I follow the call, and I'm going to go forward and make an effort.

50:20because I think it's like, it's also in our culture, it's like not cool or it's, I think just being like, oh, I feel called to this person. I want him more. I want to see what's like beneath or what is here. So I love that you did that too. Blue, how about you? Like when you think of all the transformations and transitions that you've gone through, some of them public, some of them not, like how do you sort of like process deep change? I mean, I mean like biggest one right now to be honest um save a little bit of context uh in august of last year i became legally deaf so um i'm still navigating like being somebody that's had my hearing for 35 years and now no longer being able to be in communication probably thinking well how long is she speaking right now i've got headphones on i'm the only one that's wearing headphones and when i have amplified sound in my ears it's directional i can still pick up conversation but that is not life so if i don't have headphones on um even hearing aids don't really work for me i i've for the past six months been outside of the realm of communication with anybody so um this transition has been tremendously challenging yeah um and there is no one that has handed me a manual that has been like okay this is how you navigate life now i've who spent 35 years of navigating everything to a certain degree in a certain framework and now it just it literally overnight it changed and I woke up one morning because I had loud sound exposure that blew out my ears um and I woke up the next day I couldn't hear my own voice and it hasn't really shifted since then so everything that I've ever been I've ever taught or I've ever shared or through my podcast or my teachings of being on stage or being in circles is the a deeper trust in something much bigger unfolding beyond my will into thy will and I've always had a prayer specifically recently that over the past maybe three or four years I've said most mornings and sit in front of my altar and say a prayer and the prayer has been something along the lines of please God please spirit that they cannot be named that they created everything that they also created me.

52:41May I be in co-creation with you so that I hand over my will to thy will and I can truly be of service to the planet, not only just to me and my own individual egoic needs, but to nourish me in the process of something that can actually feed and support life outside of myself, maybe connected to the whole web of life and all sentient beings for the collective liberation of all beings through my gifts, through what brings me joy and through makes me feel love in my heart maybe so and the last final sentence would be i'll do whatever it takes and i knew that when i said i'll do whatever it takes it was just a weight to it and i was like am i willing to let go of everything that's distracting me so that i'll actually truly fulfill what i'm here to do and what i'm here to deliver on this planet and ironically uh at the exact time that AI chat GBT came out is when I went deaf and that is when the noise the world got really really noisy and it's almost impossible almost impossible to tell what has been written by an eight robot and what is actually real from someone's creative process of carving themselves out to become a vessel so that they can actually become a heavenly body and and be the star in the tarot which is to call from another realm into this earthly plane to change us in a physical way of making us believe more in ourselves so that we can actually do good and no longer be so distracted and so I'm moving through this passage of asking myself is what I'm teaching a philosophy or is an embodiment to trust the process and this has been the most confronting journey for me and something that I've learned with Helen Keller's teachings I've been learning about Beethoven and And how he was 100 % deaf.

54:24But made music that really lasted generations. And Helen Culler. And her teachings. And her wisdom that she received. From no longer being able to see. And no longer being able to hear. She shared something that kind of rocked me to my core. That if you're blind. You get cut away from physical objects. But if you're deaf. You get cut away from people. And I've been in a very isolated. Lonely experience. and that also puts emphasis on then i don't want to go get coffee of course i don't want to hang out with friends i don't want to jump on voice calls i don't want to start conversations with strangers but where is my life for asking me to go right now and in a world that seemingly was being ripped apart ripped away from me i felt like i actually could turn and make art and build a world that was incredibly beautiful and with all the areas where I was so distracted from the noise I actually refocused that energy into creating a legacy project and I even had a vision that when I pass away and my grandchildren are playing with the cards I'll speak to them through the cards and Matt was like wow that's some gangster stuff like they can be like moving to like another dimension and still being able to chat with the grandkids and ultimately there's always a blessing there is always a blessing if i'm looking that my life is supposed to be this way and i'm attached to the outcome i'm trying to control it then the blinders are not allowing the peripheral view of the gift that's also being presented and that has always been what i've shared and taught and then i was invited into this initiation and becoming a deaf woman and what everything that comes with and i also believe in my heart if i really get quiet i'm being invited to learn to really listen and in greek mythology you'll see that this the sea is the ones that can see the future usually blind and i'm being invited into coherence and resonance and frequency as opposed to words that for the most part like we're just saying things to feel validated in the space or to share a story that we think will maybe get you like me or whatever it is right and we unconsciously just running and then now with everything with social media we're just regurgitating things that we have just seen online and like it's quite rare to come across an original thought now and it's more so just recycling information and the world is just so loud on a frequency level and then in addition to that the world's splitting into two and the the split is a frequency split and it's between authentic and synthetic and you can see in everything it operates in humans it operates in words it operates in food it operates in clothes it operates in the way that we choose to live the words that we choose to share everything holds a certain frequency charge and one frequency and there's many different variations of this frequency but the authentic is like

57:42and synthetic is

57:49and that is all i hear is hum and static and so being in the car or you know arriving here i've just been in the car for the past 45 minutes and there's a static sound that comes with whooshing through you know driving at 60 miles an hour and so it takes me a while to land into the space um and start to be able to hear what the space is saying what are you really saying you know what is lily saying what is my dog saying what are you saying you know but not saying with your words but with the frequency and every single 60 000 thoughts we're thinking a day that is emanating a certain vibrational charge that is operating out into a vibrational reality that is bringing back more of what we're emanating so to to piggyback off of what lily said it's a longer process to go i'm going to dismantle my entire life because everything i built right now is actually not authentic to my soul and yet it seems to take longer but what actually is longer is building a life from a synthetic truth from living from validation from that outside in and realizing that we're living in a completely fabricated reality based of what we think the world wants from us and then we get to 40 50 years old and we go through a midlife crisis where everything has to crumble it actually takes much longer so we're fast and we're all the things and we're doing all the things but the the evolution of consciousness that's happening i believe right now is that we are shifting everything that is not authentic is crumbling and it's so confronting um and so that is also me full circle of how i keep trusting the process being like okay spirit I'm deaf now, but look what you're fast tracking, even if it feels like I'm slowing down.

59:42Was there ever a period, especially with having the sound happen, that caused a lot of it in a moment? Did you ever have rage or frustration? Not for a while until afterwards. Sadness, yes. Oh my God, I could do my afters. But rage, no. Not for a while until I was in a conversation with my fiance and he was... wanting to share with me the impact that my deafness had created on the relationship. And I did not have the bandwidth to also process how I was harming the people around me or like creating a process for the people around me because I'm now deaf. I was too busy holding the fact that I'm deaf and everything in my life was crumbling as I knew it.

1:00:31And I remember when he was just holding the pulse of being like, but can you, can you acknowledge yeah that how it impacts the people that you love and i started feeling tremendous amount of fire inside of my body and it was almost like i couldn't control it anymore and i turned to walk outside because i thought i've got to release this it's literally like a dragon over overwhelming me and i dropped to the floor and just screamed like primordial scream like oh i've been conditioned in my entire life that my rage will destroy worlds and i must keep that under lock and key because if i let this out i'm gonna ruin everything that i love and i've created a story in my head so i sadness fine but rage i hadn't had access to it till that point and it was just got to the point where i couldn't hold it anymore and fully let it out and um and still there's still lots in there that i don't really fully have access to but i can feel it inside of my body and it releases when it's time yeah um but yeah it's uh it's a daily it's a daily process of me of like trusting in something and having faith in something greater and i think lily and i have had a very deep connection point for each other around that place because both of us have felt like because of something in our bodies we've pushed the world out whether it's adrenal fatigue or it's deafness but we've actually found each other in that because i don't i can't i don't really want to be around people um because it's too confronting for me to be so close and not be able to connect and for lily like having adrenal fatigue doesn't want to be out in the world and then for a sudden her adrenals crash and so we've kind of we've gone all right these are our wounds how do we create a world from it and how do we make beauty with something that is so challenging wow i just I'm obviously touched by it, but I'm just very touched by a moment with your fiance where there's a sovereign expression of something where I think the thought before would be, be nice, don't say anything, you know, like about this, about her losing her hearing, kind of like holding it, you know, like that there was just like a deep experience of him wanting to be witnessed by you in his life.

1:02:54own pain of it. And that request is so beautiful and so real and so healthy, but also a perfect example of it's not fun and it's challenging. It's like, this is the truth. This is what sovereign partnership looks like in the pain of this experience. And I want you to not hold it, but see it. And then your natural reply, it's just like, it's really stunning. Because I think i'm repeating what i'm saying but i think the natural inclination would be like to stuff it down and hide and be like oh you know like act like it's not and it's like no this is deeply impacting for our lives and our relationship and the love that i have for you holds it and also is experiencing it you know yeah it real deep honest excavation and honestly how on earth could roots that withstand any storm go deep without those kind of moments yeah you know otherwise the wind blows and the tree gets ripped out because the roots are only surface value you know so it and then in our experience we got to pass a threshold of being like when we started dating i wasn't deaf and so it was a choice point in our relationship of being like are you ready to commit your life to a deaf woman are you are you down to do this with me because this is going to be like a real journey you know and um for him to really like check in and choose me still in that it's like it's it's a bond that i can say yeah yeah let's do this thing together then i don't know um and it really just highlights the honesty and the sacrifice that you know marriage and lifelong relationships really take.

1:04:43He's a good guy. He's beautiful. He's amazing. What have you learned about love since being with him? Because, you know, you've had public relationships, private ones, but you are a woman that many people look up to. And so seeing you happy in love with someone like this, like what have you learned about love? That it actually can be saved. That is real. I in this experience with him I have never and I I've had a blessed relationship with Andre and he's epic real high integrity man I in my experience with John I've experienced such a tremendous amount of energetic safety that he is so clear and so devoted and because of that anything of my past that i have had betrayal or mistrust or leaky energy and i've gaslighted myself out of it and just said that there's something wrong with me when actually i'm picking up on something you're reading my actual biography for this season of my life and i've been like wait it must be jealousy no honestly you're picking up on leaky energy i've learned that when someone is genuinely on a thought basis energetically safe everything that comes up for me is very apparent that it is my past and it's not my present where where in the past i didn't know what was real and i sort of tried to gas that myself out of the experience but in the in my experience of truly being with a safe person i am actually healing and i'm realizing that to heal the parts of my my being that have not felt safe which for as long as i can remember with men um it it can only heal relationally with a genuinely safe person that genuinely is devoted and so i've i've done a tremendous amount of healing in being in relationship with him because he has uh he's shone a light on all of the parts of me that are still learning that i and I'm safer to show my rage and for him to still hold a pulse for me to show my grief or to to go into a depressive state you know for a month two months and for him to still stick around for me to go deaf and him to say I still choose this you know I'm just I'm I'm absolutely amazed the amount of healing that can happen in the presence of a truly safe man how can women know that a man is safe like how did you know he was safe what can they look for because there's been so many opportunities where women have been like come over and being like flirting with my hand on his lap everyone is attention no we're in a relationship but still it's kind of just wow not on the radar you know it's inevitably gonna happen and he's a very attractive human and very warm as well very inviting so when that energy and i can sense it is kind of leaky from somewhere else i just watched him just time and time and time and time again where there's been many different temptations and opportunities and he's just here just solid and it's just evidence and proof of it you know not me feeling something's off or him yeah and then gaslighting me out of it but actually being like hey you want to talk about this where is it showing up for you in your body is there anything that i can do to support you more in these moments and i'm actually responsible for my own emotions and when something's coming up for me i take full responsibility of it i don't make him the problem if he's not done anything i literally am like oh wow i'm feeling this thing come up inside of me i think it's like fear and okay what's the fear saying that you're going to run away with this person okay well why do you feel like that because she's really attractive and she's showing you all this attention i'm like is there anything that i've done that has shown to you that that that you're unsafe and i was like absolutely not and you go i'm like okay can you just speak to the little girl in me um that's afraid right now and can you let her know that that she's safe and so he then talks to her wow it's like just let you know talk to that part i'm going nowhere absolutely love you and there's nothing that you should be afraid of it and i'm like okay thanks for saying that and then we move forward so he's actively in relation with the part of me that hasn't been safe in the past and um just absolutely blown away how tremendously healing is to to the point now where i don't worry about these things genuinely don't even really come up for me at all wow it is true that you can truly heal that betrayal trauma that part that gets like i think for any woman listening to know that it is possible to move beyond the hyper vigilance the fear the you know checking the phone, checking their energy, being afraid of all that kind of stuff.

1:09:35And I think a lot of men, this is a whole tangent, but I think a lot of men aren't aware of the leakiness of their energy. I don't think they're consciously aware of it. I think they're getting the hits of the dopamine or maybe they're subconsciously used to being in like, I think men don't really know about their leakiness, but even to hear you kind of express that, I think is so liberating for women about the gaslighting that they do of themselves. And I know I've been a woman that has done that for a long time on the sense and feeling that you have. What's it been like for you seeing your best friend like fall in love and find her person it's it's healed something in me that I I didn't know was possible um he's also he's become one of my best friends as well and you know uh Blue and I have established this this way of of life previous to her falling and love.

1:10:30And we were deep, probably halfway through the project at the time that they got together. And so I, you know, there was, there was a recalibration period. Yeah. And he - It's so real. It is. You're switching your primary. I remember when Lindsay found her husband and was like, whoa, this is the wobbly when we're switching the primary connection here. And so that happened. And he was so attuned to the sensitivity of that process and had all the time and space in the world to speak with me about it. And it was just so apparent that this man was only here to expand my world. And he's the safest man that I've ever met as well.

1:11:23And so it's something, partnership is absolutely, I feel ready at this point to open myself up in that way. And I know that I wasn't ready previous to knowing him and witnessing them in their journey. it's provided a template for me that I've never experienced. Wow. Yeah. I've been on this path of being like, what? I was thinking about in my life, I'm like, who is an actual man? I'm like, who do I actually know that's a man? That's a, you know, a true man. Like, what are the people in my life? What are the men that like exude that? And then you could even think, you know, what are the true feminine women?

1:12:05I want to talk a little bit about the fact that you guys did tarot, just getting back to the deck. The fact that you guys did tarot, of all the things you could have done. You could have made an oracle deck. You could have just had your beautiful drawings. Like why tarot? Well, to be perfectly honest, I, we, do we talk about this? Yeah, of course. Okay. Uh, no, no, no. So the, my previous deck is an astrology deck that I, I created with a publisher and they approached me wanting to do a second project with me. they introduced the idea of a tarot deck it wasn't something that I had previously considered but I I'm a esoteric nerd I love to dive into these systems like astrology and tarot has a system to it as well it's and and so I was interested in the idea of discovering how it all works tarot also connects with astrology.

1:13:03And so I was interested to go on that academic journey. And months later, we actually are no longer working with a publisher and we're self-publishing. That's a different conversation. But studying the tarot, I now understand in this chapter of life that I spoke to earlier, where I'm kind of coming out of the clouds and connecting more deeply with myself as a human and my life and creating this body of work in connection and in relationship, the tarot takes us on the hero's journey and it introduces this idea of we have to move through these various initiations or rites of passage that sometimes are not comfortable and that there are inherent moments of expansion and contraction and fear and collapse that are archetypal and for people who don't know what archetypal means it's they're they're ever present truths that whether you're a human living in 2026 or in 1526 there's a pattern to this thing called life and that we're here to discover discover ourselves and to surprise ourselves in who we might be able to become beyond our wildest imaginations.

1:14:31And tarot provides a framework for that journey. And so back to all of us craving depth and intimacy and purpose, none of those things can happen without mess. And the way that we meet these messy and uncomfortable moments in life is the it is how how big we're able to to grow and and so I've fallen in love with the tarot as a as a map for for that process of becoming what would you say if you guys could say one card to represent this time on earth what card would you say is it this time on earth oh time on air

1:15:22question our individual time or a collective time let's do collective and then yours okay uh collective tower yeah um it's just anything wrong at the foundation has got to crumble inevitably through the evolutionary process and the tower card is a representation of anything false that's crumbling any false altars that we've built thinking that our altar is to that money is the goal our altar is the external power is the goal and a lot of altars in a lot of our lives is like trying to get more money and trying to get more power and we're seeing this on a collective scale and it's a false altar um and so it's going to crumble just like the tower card and that's what the time i believe that the time that we've incarnated into is a massive evolutionary process of the ripping off the band-aid of a false disney world that we've created that isn't actually authentic and we are birthing into a new iteration of authenticity so i think the tower card i would say collectively um we don't love pulling the tower card when we get that card like oh darn it really um and extremely necessary if you want to kickstart an evolutionary process in your own personal life so collectively i say the tower card for me individually right now let's see is the wheel of fortune oh my favorite card it's ruled by jupiter it's also the front cover of our deck no way uh-huh that's the front cover it's our wheel of fortune and it's my ruling planet on my chart and i feel like um the wheel fortune is such a powerful card in the sense that it's in inviting us into that nothing in life is ever the same it's not stagnant it's always moving the river is always moving and you can't step in the same river twice so what that means is that you're never going to step in the same water because life is inherently just the nature of it nothing ever stays the same and making peace with that is actually finding the center of the circle and center of the wheel and so the only thing that really remains is our peace in the process of everything always changing and that is the gift then that the wheel of fortune is inviting us not to chase happiness and i was like i want to be happy and i want to be laughing every day this is the fleeting moment just like sadness is but if you can be at peace with life's inherent uncertainty then you found the center of the wheel of fortune and that for me is my greatest teaching is to continue to find the peace within wherever life is is dished and from that place so much beauty is gifted to those um that don't fight against the current of life collectively i agree the blue the tower um i would also say the moon which is about the subconscious mind i think that a lot of our subconscious stories and the the false beliefs that we all hold that are holding us back and keeping us small are revealing themselves.

1:18:31The moon is associated with Pisces, which is in shadow about illusion. And so the illusions of the mind. And I think for me personally, it's the queen of discs is who I relate to most. So all of the queens are associated with the element of water and discs are associated with the element of earth. So I feel this is a time of embodiment and external actualization and of building and taking up space and anchoring more in my human experience. And so that's very earthy and grounding, but with that sense of listening and softness and patience and humility and not asserting my idea of how my life needs to look and staying flexible and mutable with it.

1:19:30And so that's the water. And archetypally, the Queen of Discs has been through a period of barrenness. She's in our artwork, she's looking back on a dry desert on a barren field, but there are little sprouts of life that are starting to grow and I think that I like I said a lot of my 30s have been this kind of inward tending not forcing anything to kind of take shape outside of myself and and I I I see I see those little sprouts of life starting to blossom from that the patience that I've had with my own process what is it that you guys what would you love to see for happen from this deck like if you could proclaim a manifestation or like a desire or a dream what would be like the dream but there's something incredibly special about the vision that that i feel inside of my heart of thousands hundreds of thousands of people around the world utilizing this transmission is the best way i can describe it it really was a transmission a three-year transmission um of what makes us human but also heavenly bodies um connects us to something so much greater than the narrative that we've been fed since we were born and the fact that it has been made by humans through a very human process that connects us and allows us to be able to see ourselves in the beauty of what's being reflected through the deck.

1:21:12The vision I have is people sitting in their sacred spaces in a moment where their life seems to be really confusing in a moment where everything is upside down or I don't know what the next direction is or I just need some guidance or there's one sentence that could really help me bring a little bit of clarity in a very confusing time in my life and to visualize like even while we're sleeping like somebody somewhere is reading a prayer that changes the course of their day and that's their life into a deeper more authentic more aligned version of who they are authentically because it's something that we've created and the difference between a deck and a book is that you read a book you finish it you put it down if you've got enough attention span right now to even finish the book god bless and and put it back on the the shelf and never touch it again the thing with the deck is it's an ally it's a friend it's a moment right where you're just asking for a little bit of support and you can grab the deck and you can sit with it and you can go to that prayer i wrote 78 original prayers that go with every single card lily intrinsically wrote these descriptions that are so rich and so meaningful the cut the artwork in itself even if you don't read the description has so many so much symbology and the choice of the color and the choice of the animals and the positions of them and the way that they say on the card you can get so much information from this pocket friend that we no longer have to physically be with you and you can have this this guide for you in this very weird wild wacky beautiful confusing grieving and joyful human experience of being alive to have this authentic friend that's that sits with you so the greatest vision would be for hundreds of thousands of people around the world to be able to have access to this creation and for us to be able to watch the consciousness of this creative baby that we've created to spread and blow our minds of what's possible when this artwork and this beauty is out in the world and I've never believed in anything more that I've created than this creation it's my it's it's it's my greatest work yet and um to be able to have done it with lily is is such a blessing to genuinely we we're crowning right now our baby is about to get out into the world and and so the yeah the vision would be that there's hundreds of thousands of people around the world usually utilizing this deck and if this deck is used for generations to come for me i feel like i shared at the beginning of this conversation i feel very sad and overwhelmed by just how much noise there is in the world right now and how empty so much of whether it's the information and the content or the products that are mass-produced and I know that this this project that we're releasing is a stand for a slower more present more connected way of life that we all need to protect and fight for.

1:24:15And the wisdom that is woven into these cards and into the descriptions are a compass back to that center point within. And, you know, even though on a philosophical level, I am a stand for everything slow and everything real. I also lose my center sometimes and I get lost in the noise and I get distracted and and this project it's it's infused with everything that brings me back to center and so I pray that it offers that same grounding energy and connective energy to everyone who comes into contact with it So grateful that you guys came on. It's such a beautiful opportunity and experience to sit with you.

1:25:05And I just, to have a conversation about friendship, about creativity, about collaborating with spirit, about, you know, the grief and joy of life and love and friendship. Like I said, for the second time is just so beautiful. And I'm so grateful for everyone to get the deck. So where can they get the deck? Where do you guys want to direct them? They can go to our website, which is weareheavenlybodies.com. Good one. And that will take them on the journey to bringing the deck home with themselves. I love seeing heavenly bodies. It's such a great name. It's so good. And I was thinking about when you were showing earlier of how your previous deck was so ethereal and very heavenly.

1:25:44And then how I have grounded the ship. And I'm kind of like the bodies in heavenly bodies. And we're heavenly and I'm the body. That was something I wanted to say is I kind of realized when we were talking about this that not in a depressive way at all, but I haven't inherently felt as sort of in love and connected to life in the same way that blue is. And it's not depressive. It's just I feel very connected to spirit. I feel very ethereal. And I sometimes don't know how to integrate my spiritual life and to make this human life feel as whole and true and as embodied. and I think on some level what drew me to blue and what keeps me so bonded to her is the way that she relates to her life is so connected.

1:26:49She's so, I've told you this before, I think that she's better at life than anyone I know and it's not, and she's really sad a lot of It's not that she's happy all the time. It's just she, her relationship with trust, her relationship with surrender, and as a byproduct of that, her relationship with joy, because she allows herself to go into grief and sadness. She's just a very alive person. And in Shadow, she struggles with containment and she struggles with maybe consistency and structure. And I felt very inspired as someone who knows how to create systems and knows how to kind of anchor the ship to create a body of work that I don't want to say captured her essence.

1:27:52That's a good one. But like, I felt like it was some, some kind of karmic responsibility for me to, to capture, like, she's like, you know, lightning or like a firefly in a bottle. I was thinking that right now. And I was thinking that too. And so it was a very inspiring, she was like a muse for me in that way to create this project where, you know, not everyone gets to be best friends with Blue and spend every day with her. But this and not to say, you know, of course, I'm I'm infused into the project as well. It's a it's a co-creation. But I I felt like it was it's needed that that body energy that she holds.

1:28:44I'm very heavenly. And this creation is a byproduct of her relationship to life and the responsibility I feel to to share that wisdom. and that frequency with others. I haven't told you that before. Isn't it fun that you guys are going to keep doing these and fall more in love? It's so crazy. We're going to keep doing these and fall more in love. I didn't realize that until this episode. I was like, huh. I didn't realize you were my muse in this project. You shepherded me. Shepherded me right into the... No, we caught you in a bottle. actually that's why you wanted freedom because you felt you felt her trying to catch you and put you in a bottle the journey is in the bottle you're like i want to be free you're like you're my muse yeah and now 22 000 bottles yes send it around the world but now you're so happy grateful it's funny because you guys the more you guys do the podcast the more you're gonna like be just loving each other it's like you just the expression and the experience of you know you're like what you know you just like say things it's almost like a partner you hear like a partner on you're like what you love that i do that exactly who me like exactly yeah because we spend so much time with each other we don't actually sit down and reflect on all of the moments until you ask beautiful questions and they're like oh go on you're all right you're like this old twat then the british comes out oh my god well that was a nice little channel that your soul wanted us to know.

1:30:23I love that you're like, I've got something else. I know. That has got to come through about this. It was just like. Well, then she started talking about heavenly bodies. Yeah, literally. Oh, yeah. There's so many mystical things about this and about your connection and about what you guys have done. So I'm very grateful to have been a part of it. I'm grateful our community is, you know, knows you and is going to deepen their relationship with you. So thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having us. Yeah, so fun. Love you guys. Okay, guys. I'll see you later. Bye. thank you so much blue thank you so much lily again the deck is called heavenly bodies tarot and you can get it now on amazon highly recommend blue of earth on instagram lily ashwell on instagram you can search blue blu almost 30 to find the previous episode that we did and you can also search any of the spiritual you know words and keywords that you're thinking about manifestation law of attraction aliens energy healing witchcraft whatever you really want to explore you can search that Almost 30 and you're going to find an episode because we have over 800 in our catalog, which is incredible.

1:31:25We've been doing this for a long time now. Almost 30 is our website. You can find more information about us. Find us on YouTube. We have really beautiful video. You can see all of our guest faces, what we're wearing that day. It's super fun. And then Almost 30 podcast on TikTok and Instagram. We have clips that we do not share anywhere else. And then Morning Microdose is our second show that has the best of the best of Almost 30. We love you guys. Thank you so much for joining us, for supporting us throughout the years. We love you and we'll see you on the next one. See you soon. Bye.