903. You’re coaching people for free already: Here’s how to actually become one + get paid

26:21You know, I had been doing IFS work with my therapist for years, but I started to pursue just deeper education and deeper understanding of IFS. I did the foundations course. I did a bunch of their trainings. Now I've been on pilgrimages with Dick, the founder, but I was really kind of started to get really deep into that. So from that point became both starting to take on new clients and then really, really deepening the work that I was doing behind the scenes to become an amazing coach and practitioner. From this point, I've done IFS. I did NLP training. I've done somatic practitioner training.

26:57I've done attachment theory trainings. I've done Byron Katie's The Work training. I've done the two institute. I've done Institute for Coaching Mastery, Jay Shetty's program. I've gotten Reiki certified master teacher level like twice, a bunch of different things. But all of those things have helped me along my path, but have also been instrumental for me as a teacher. And so what I've recognized early on as a coach was that, like I said, this was a reflection of me and the work that I've done and that I had to really be the person that could be worthy of sitting in front of someone and holding space for them and, you know, providing them guidance and answers and support and being the nervous system, being the tuning fork for that relationship where I was going to hold the frequency and I was going to hold the pose of what it is that we're doing and where we're going.

27:51And that I was responsible for maintaining the composure, the calmness, the coolness as we navigated really, really deep waters. In my coaching experience, it has been something that has been such an interesting, immaculate gift where there are times with some clients where, you know, both seeing a spaceship and aliens come out and we're talking to their guides and we're talking to their angels and I'm having messages come through of past loved ones. And then there's some that are incredibly tactical of us looking at their social media analytics and understanding why some posts did better than others and making a strategy for how they can be authentic and expressed and still successful online.

28:32And so there's a complete range of this. And before I would always get curious, like, do I have to niche? Should I be like a specific type of coach? And I've known in my work that God just puts me where I'm needed to be and that I am just placed in this places and spaces of where I'm most needed. And so it is not my job or responsibility to sort of limit who I am and what I do. And I just go into the room that I'm requested and I just sort of work with whoever in however capacity that they need in that moment. That's not saying that I don't have preference and I don't have discernment. And I think for anyone that wants to be a coach, one of the pieces of advice I would definitely give to you is that it is okay for you to have preference and it is okay for you to have an idea of the person that you want to work with and who you want to serve.

29:15I am not for entry-level spirituality. I am not for entry-level personal growth. I am not for someone that's never meditated. I am not for someone that is not curious or open-minded. I am not for someone that doesn't have an already developed sense of a spiritual life. I am not for someone that is deeply entrenched in patterns or limiting beliefs or someone that has not first dealt with their PTSD or complex PTSD or has specific patterns or beliefs or ways of existing that could limit them from the curiosity and openness that is required. I am for the woman that is at a 201 level in their life of spirituality and growth that is looking to go 301 to 401 level, like looking for next level, next, that is looking for next level that is at the new timeline that wants breakthrough.

30:05I always say the women I work with are on the edge of breakthrough. They can feel that there is breakthrough that needs to happen. And I am the person that takes them over the edge. And so my woman is specific. The energetic of her is specific. She is like someone I deeply love and am obsessed with and enjoy and passionate about and believe in and care about. And that is because I have the ability and preference to work with people that I only love and see the best and good in. And that is the best interest for them. And that is the best interest for me. I think a lot of times people that are new to the coaching space, they will, because of finances, want to work with anyone and everyone to make money.

30:45And because they're afraid of not being able to earn enough or they have scarcity as the running current in their system. But what I know to be true is that if you are taking on everyone and everything, you are not going to be essentially the best fit or the best service to them. Because I know in some cases I've had people come through for consult conversations and there's a better person to serve them. Maybe it's a somatic practitioner, maybe it's an energy healer, maybe it's a therapist. There needs to be a sense of spaciousness and expansion in the work that you do because this is a deep committed relationship that whoever the coach is has with their clients.

31:26In the coaching industry and space, it is a relationship that I do not take lightly and no coach should take lightly. It is deeply informative and important and powerful. And this person is truly trusting you with their future, with their thoughts, with their psyche, with their dreams, with their relationships. You are given access to so many different areas of this person's life, their relationships, their childhood, their future. And you are providing this guidance and this reminder and this recalibration for them consistently. And so I've been taking this so incredibly seriously. And I know that the work that I do is so transformative and alchemical and instrumental that I have no doubt or need to prove anything to anyone because I was that critic before.

32:17Like I completely thought coaching was fake and stupid and not real. And then I started doing it. And now I have no need to explain who I am or what I do to anyone because I know what happens in those sessions. And so do my clients. So to get back to the timeline, I started to get certified. I started to work with a few clients at once. And then I started to acclimate to a certain book of business or a certain amount of clients. And I was still figuring out what does this look like as far as time spend and energy? How much do I have capacity for? How much can I hold? I was still running almost 30 with Lindsay, recording episodes all the time and doing other aspects of consulting in my business.

32:53And so I really just kind of let it expand and grow into the point where I had a capacity that was a pretty large amount of people. And that was, you know, probably last year in May when I reached the absolute capacity of how much people I could hold and sort of created this new limit and boundary of how I wanted to work with people. And from that point, it's just been a lesson in learning of so much over time of how to be an amazing coach, of how to be an amazing guide for people. And it's been such a pleasure and a delight to see people change and transform in ways they never thought possible.

33:27I have this, one of my clients who's a dear friend of mine. And so I'll be able to speak about her. I've known her for longer than 10 years. I met her through my ex husband and we've always been cool and friends over the years. We've traveled the world. We were never like day-to-day friends. We didn't talk all the time. And I remember her coming to me like, I want to work with you. And because we weren't super close, I was available for it. I don't want to work with my close friends. But I was like, yeah, I'm down. And I knew she was skeptical. I knew she didn't believe. But to see her over the past six months get over or conquer or make peace with her crippling social anxiety, where she no longer has social anxiety at all, she's able to confidently go to places and spaces and be herself and have fun and be powerful.

34:15Her crippling fear of her own power and being an imposter to starting her own entire new business venture. She's becoming an entrepreneur. And it's funny because she's also become so much herself. She's gotten promoted two times. She has a deeper relationship with herself and her body and belief in herself and peace in her mind and peace in her heart. and just like it's the small reframes that sort of create that space in the environment and there's also this element of me being in the self and so in internal family systems the psychotherapy technique that I use in love by Dick Schwartz one of the aspects that he talks about is being in self and being in self is being in the the soul it's being in the most powerful loving aspect of you it's the most grounded embodied experience you could have and when you are in self, it begets the self of others.

35:05This is much like therapeutic relationships. That therapist being in the regulated nervous system, the peaceful center, begets a peaceful center from you. So me being in this regulated version of me has cultivated and brought through this regulated, calm, powerful version of me. Okay, can we talk about picky eating for a second? I have a toddler. I'd like to say he eats a little bit more than other kids, but he is still picky. So if you have a kid who basically survives on the beige foods, you know the struggle. And with Mav, I just don't want every meal to turn into that negotiation. That's why I have been giving him Ella Ola.

35:39It's basically a completely tasteless, colorless vitamin powder. It's not a gummy. It's not a chewable. So into his water, I have electrolytes in there too, but I put it in his water or his milk. Sometimes he'll have yogurt. I'll throw it in there. His oatmeal. Don't tell him. Smoothies. Super easy. and he literally cannot tell it's in there. So it has 19 essential vitamins and minerals plus nutrients from 15 organic fruits and veggies, including B12, D, zinc, and it'll support his mood and brain development. It's a pediatrician and pediatric dietician developed. It has zero sugar, it's vegan, gluten-free, free of the top nine allergens, and has no artificial sweeteners, dyes, or additives.

36:21And honestly, for me, it's just one less thing to stress about at mealtime. Ella Ola is offering our listeners 20 % off your first purchase. Just go to ellaola.com slash almost 30. That's E-L-L-A-O-L-A.com slash almost 30. The discount is automatically applied at checkout. So you don't need a code. You can try it risk-free with Ella Ola's 45 day money back guarantee. So go to ellaola.com slash almost 30 for 20 % off your first purchase. So this was the second time that I was pregnant and I just love pregnancy because I get so attuned to like everything that I put in my body. And one of those things is my prenatal.

37:01A prenatal I recommend highly is from Ritual. The Ritual Essential Prenatal is a part of my routine and I really love it because it has just these essential nutrients that we need during pregnancy, especially like choline, like folate and omega-3. I also love it because when I'm taking it the sensory experience it doesn't smell weird it has like this little tab in there that keeps it really fresh like a citrusy taste and smells and I just found it to be gentler on my stomach first trimester I was so nauseous but over the course of my entire pregnancy and I still take prenatals postpartum it's really gentle on my stomach ritual selects bioavailable key nutrients designed for optimal absorption so that's really important your body actually absorbs these and all of their products are evidence-based.

37:49So don't settle for less than evidence-based support. Save 25 % on your first month at ritual.com slash almost 30. That's ritual.com slash almost 30 for 25 % off your first month. So where we've done the mindset work, the subconscious reprogramming, all of that, it also was my existence that called forth this very peaceful aspect of her that she now knows and has access to and is able to be with and live from this new type of experience. And now my journey with coaching and where I am today, you know, after years of doing the work, checking my own biases, making sure that I could be the woman that could hold this experience.

38:31And over the years, some of the things that I've learned in this process is so much about counter-transference. It's about making sure that I am regulated in my body and my nervous system, that I am doing my own spiritual work and practices, that I am doing my prayer work, that I am resourcing myself, that I am sort of reorienting myself to a new experience because now as a coach, I'm holding space for people almost six hours a day. And so the type of energy and the type of experience that I'm having is different than just working on the computer or recording a podcast. And so over the years, some of the things that I've learned in this process and some of the things I really think about now, going into my third or fourth year as a coach, before I do our Q &A, where I'll answer all the juicy stuff that you guys have, is thinking about concepts like countertransference, which is essentially when your emotional reaction to someone else, especially in a helping or relational dynamic, gets activated because of them.

39:32And it's not about them. It's like what it stirs in your system. So you feel overly responsible for their outcome. You want to fix them or save them. You get irritated, bored or judgmental. You usually feel attached or invested. So a lot of times with therapists or coaches or consultants or mentors, you might get too overly involved or invested or, you know, wanting them to get over the belief or break up with the person or leave the job. and that has been such a practice for me of making sure that I don't have too much counter transference going on that I can let people be in their own process.

40:05I remember I had one of my clients that I still work with today. I think we've been working together for two and a half years and she had something going on in her life that was really, really, really deep and I remember one call getting so worked up and I was so emotional. I was like, oh my gosh, what if she doesn't fix this? What if something goes wrong? I just was so overly invested. And so my fixer helper part was just, you know, obsessed with her healing or her getting this right or nothing bad happening to her. And it's okay to care. It is a good and beautiful thing to care for your clients, but you need to really watch when your counter transference is in the room because you cannot be fixing them, saving them, helping them, doing the work for them, making you the savior of them.

40:52It is a deeply spiritual, personal growth-laden path for you to stay in your own lane, for you to stay detached, for you to have the law of assumption where you're assuming the best outcome, but you're not staying attached to it. And so I've really had to work on my countertransference over the years where I feel really good about it. There was only that really one deep flare-up, but you have to watch it in micro moments where you're getting just a little bit finding yourself too in the weeds of their progress and their path rather than holding the highest vision and allowing them to find their own way to that next level.

41:26Some of the other things that I've had to work on or notice in my path is making sure I have clear energetic hygiene. And because I'm in deep processes with women where sometimes intuitive things are coming through, I'm channeling, you know there's a lot happening I have to make sure that I'm cleansing and clearing my aura regularly I'm maintaining good energetic boundaries I am connecting to God very regularly and I'm really maintaining this healthy energetic center or else I could get pulled in all sorts of ways and I think this is what a lot of people don't realize when they think about coaching they think about you know just sitting on the phone and giving someone advice and for me and the work that I do it's not like that it's so much more about you and your experience and creating spaciousness around that.

42:09And then of course, sharing what I've been through, what I've experienced, what messages are coming through. And so there's a lot of energetic attunement and maintenance and hygiene involved in the process. So I have to work with my own healer. I have to work with my own therapist. I have to work with other teachers in the space to make sure I'm maintaining my integrity in that way. I think the third thing is really understanding my boundaries. I've really had to work on my boundaries of not being on Slack all day with my clients of figuring out, you know, when I'm going to say no, when I'm going to say yes, when I have to hold the example of someone that is in their power and having their boundaries of someone that's not going to overgive, that's not going to fix everything for them.

42:52That's not going to make my entire life about making sure that they're okay and that they are like solving whatever problem is at hand. I can care very deeply, but I don't need to carry what they have. so I can care, but I don't need to carry. So understanding counter-transference, I've really learned in this process, understanding energetic hygiene, and then the third would be understanding boundaries have been incredibly essential for my path in this process. Before I go into the Q &A of this process is, what I've also learned is that I've only been given as many clients and the type of clients as my capacity is able to hold.

43:27So as I've evolved and changed, my clients have evolved and changed how much they could spend on coaching and the value that they see in coaching has been directly correlated to the value I can provide and the value I believe I can provide. So the more I've been able to charge has been equated with the types of people that I'm drawing in, the types of clients that I'm drawing in, and the amount of capacity I have for the human experience, for their experience, for growth, for change, for evolution, for people's power, for people's magic, has only allowed me to expand my vessel to hold and support more people through the process.

44:03So it is a very spiritual process. It is a very deep process. It is a very alchemical process, but it has been just the journey and joy of a lifetime for me to work one-on-one deeply with people in the process of coaching. And it's a funny thing because, you know, I was talking to a friend recently and she's like, it's funny because, you know, in your career you went really wide first and now you're going deep. You know, with the podcast, we started with reaching millions of people. We didn't start that way. It was like a couple thousand, tens of thousands, whatever. And I just reached a lot of people being myself.

44:38But now I so deeply love and I see why that's such an aspect of me is the deep one on one work, the attunement, the healing in the moment, the relational work that I do and coaching. And most people want to go the other way. They want to go one to one and then out. I just love going deeper with less people. It's been the pleasure and journey of a lifetime. Okay, so summarizing it a little bit. When we started almost 30, I had no intention to become a coach. In my corporate world job, I was in consulting. I was in marketing. I wasn't really in industries that supported my coaching, but definitely the corporate world helped me as a coach to understand people in the corporate world, to understand how to do a business in coaching.

45:18But the first coach and therapist really transformed my life, really inspired me to become a coach. I then had the intuitive push myself and then the guidance from a coach to become a coach. I put it out to the universe and I started to get the training and the teaching. I started to really, really hone my craft and really develop this deep sense of my own inner work and my own teaching with people. And then I allowed my coaching ability and capacity to expand as I became more grounded in my worth and my value. And as I became more clear about how it is that I help and who it is that I help. So it's been a journey and evolution and a process.

45:56And it's been about three years in, but it's been one of the greatest gifts of a lifetime. So let's do questions from Q &A. So I basically was just like, guys, ask whatever you want. Because I think for me, before I knew about coaching, I was like, what the frigging heck and Bob is this? I'm from Ohio. People work at GE and people work at P &G and no one knows what a coach is. And why are you guys making so much money? And what the heck is even this world? So I wanted to open it up and just have you guys ask me any questions about coaching. Okay. So someone asked how to manage your own boundaries and mental health while coaching clients.

46:28So this question is incredibly important. And I'm so grateful because I did so much of the work with boundaries, with understanding that I'm an empath and someone that's super sensitive and really understanding the energetics of what being an empath is, of making and clarifying my own energetic boundaries, being in my own energy and my experience, learning to not take on other people's stuff, learning that I was not responsible for other people's stuff and becoming my own fully formed person before I started to coach. So I definitely had to do work as I deepened with my coaching practice. I did that work with my therapist to make sure I could be really good at that.

47:06But I did a lot of that work before I started taking on clients. What I see happen a lot of times is I see people that are incredibly empathetic, intuitive healers, teachers, people that want to help become coaches. And then they burn themselves out because they feel like they're responsible for everybody, that if the people don't change or heal, it's their fault. And they become so much more invested in that person's growth than even that person is. And they just burn themselves out and kill themselves because the helper part of them takes over, takes the reins, and makes them think that this is all part of their responsibility.

47:43It is not my responsibility for my clients to do the work, to do the healing. I provide the guidance. I provide the map and I provide the cheerleading and I provide the accountability. It is not me that does the work. So you need to remember that your client is not the person that does the work. How do I maintain boundaries? So I do my own boundary work in the moment. So if I find myself in a moment with one of my clients that's very deep or, you know, very intuitive. For the most part, I've created enough safety in our dynamic where I can feel myself. So my boundaries are my responsibility. So I am the one that is responsible for the boundaries in my coaching dynamic.

48:25Of course, my clients are too, but I really take that full responsibility. So I'm responsible for our container, for the hygiene and cleanliness of our container, for the safety of our container, for the safety of our relationship. and I do that by being very honest, by being very authentic, by being very clear, by speaking even when I'm uncomfortable, by going first a lot of times and doing a lot of my own practices on my own spiritual and energetic boundaries by myself. For the mental health piece, I think there was a period in time in my journey where I struggled with all of the problems and issues that my clients had and were going on, going through and it's hard to not because you're really getting access to the deepest parts of people.

49:09And I think like many people in the service industry or the healing space, you really get acclimated and desensitized to a lot of the things that people are going through. That doesn't mean there aren't days where I cry or I don't really feel what's going on, but I've become desensitized in a way. But more so I've become more trusting of the path that they're on and more trusting of the soul and trusting that their soul knows what it's doing. I do not get worried or upset because I know their soul is taking them somewhere and somewhere better than they are now and I know that because we're working together and you would not be working with me if you were not serious about your growth or serious about your path or wanting to go to the best place possible for yourself and your soul in this lifetime so I do practices for boundaries on my own I bring boundary practices into my work and then for the mental health piece I've struggled, but I also now make sure to be less responsible, but still present to the process for my clients and trust their soul on its path rather than thinking like I have to do it all.

50:11Someone asked how to showcase the transformation you provide. So I think the greatest way for anyone that's a coach, a healer, a teacher, a practitioner, a podcast host, your life is a representation of the transformation, period. So you will know them by their fruits. Galatians, you know, they're part of the Bible that talks about knowing who they are by their fruits. You know the tree, you know the mango tree because there's mangoes on it. You will know if I'm a successful coach by the life that I live, the relationships that I have, the work that I teach, how I show up in the world. I am authentically myself online with people that I meet.

50:49And that experience of meeting me or being with me or listening to me is similar in some ways to what you're getting coaching, but I represent the transformation that I'm selling. I want people to love their bodies. I had my own body journey. I want people to love their friends. I had my own friend journey. I want people to love their businesses and their entrepreneurship journey. I had my own journey with that. I really represent all of these aspects of what I help women with, body, voice, transformation, business, relationships. And I've been talking about that really publicly about the things I've struggled with, about how I've healed it and what's worked for me.

51:25And I'm an embodiment of the transformation of that. Does that mean I'm perfect? Absolutely not. There's a lot of places and spaces I could be better and I could be living better, but it's really like you just being who you are and showcasing who you are and what you believe is enough of the transformation. I also think there is an element of the women that are working with you will become the embodiment of your work. One of the clients that I've been working with for like two years now, one of her other friends I'm working with now, and she was telling me about the situation where my client, the original client, stood up for the women and spoke very clearly from the heart in a discerning matter about a situation or scenario.

52:11And my client didn't even tell me that, her friend did. And I was like, that's my girl. Like that's my little protege where I'm like, that is a case in space where she was understanding of her own power, her voice, her purpose, and she's an embodiment of the transformation that I provide in the way that she's living. I don't even need to advertise because the women that I work with are so transformed and so shifted that they become the walking representation. Now, am I saying that you don't need to get testimonials or photos or before and after or videos? Definitely do that as well and have those be shared, but really the representation and the real show of the transformation you provide is in the women and how they show up in the world.

52:55Kate asked, what is a session structured like? So my sessions, again, my work is, you know, all coaches are going to be different. My work is very intuitive. My work is very soul led. So if we were to work in a one-on-one session, I would have an intake form that has a lot of information and gives me a lot of guidance to where you're wanting to go and what you're wanting out of the session. We would definitely begin the first part of the process with me channeling a prayer, a message, insight, us getting in your body, us attuning to one another, us opening our hearts. And really the channeling isn't anything crazy.

53:32I'm not channeling like Yeshua, but it's me channeling your guides, your angels, your highest self, and really bringing through what we need to bring through in that moment. And sometimes it's unclench your jaw. Sometimes it's drop your shoulders. Sometimes it's, you know, you could be pregnant. Sometimes it's your grandma's here. Like it just depends on the person. I don't force anything. I'm not seeking for anything. I don't go in and I'm like, oh my gosh, I need the Arcturians to come in and give me a really hot and spicy, juicy message about how to solve world hunger. It's like, I'm just here and available as a channel for what's happening.

54:08So that will be the first part. We'll set the intention together, open space, create a space and container that feels supportive and, you know, helpful. Okay, Kristen and I have built this business and this brand over the last 10 years, not just by ourselves. We have had lots of support in many different ways. And Upwork was an essential part of our growth and our evolution at points. You can't do this alone. So you must, you must outsource at points. That's why Upwork is just incredible in bringing very highly skilled freelance specialists for almost anything you need in building a business, whether it's marketing, design, AI implementation, business operations, but you don't have to commit to a full-time hire.

54:55So it's really kind of like this freelance vibe, but everyone is vetted and incredible, especially in this age of AI I feel like people are overwhelmed by the idea of incorporating AI into their business so Upwork has got you you can browse profiles you can see their past work you can even like get help scoping the role we have used Upwork for creating graphics for designing a campaign for a partnership and with business plus AI powered shortlisting can deliver a curated short list of top freelancers matched to your goals in under six hours. So visit Upwork.com and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.

55:38That is U-P-W-O-R-K.com. I just took my son to the dentist for the first time. It was very cute. He did a great job. I was very nervous that he would just have a total meltdown and not let them look at his teeth, but did a great job. But I was thinking about my own dental health, postpartum, got to get back to the dentist. I was really excited to find this brand for us all. Okay. So it's called Lorene and this is a chewing gum. Okay. This is a chewing gum that is better for you, better for your teeth. It uses nano hydroxy appetite, and this is the mineral your teeth are actually made of. So this is going to support your enamel health.

56:17So if If you're eating and drinking things that aren't necessarily good for your teeth, like let's replace it or at least follow it with some Lorene. They sent me some to try and I was like, wait, this is actually very good. The mint flavor is phenomenal. So that's my favorite. I'll usually chew it after meals or after I have my coffee in the morning and my mouth just feels very fresh, which is always a nice feeling. My husband loves it. so right now laurenco is offering our listeners up to 50 off at by lauren.com slash almost 30 that's b-u-y-l-a-r-i-n-e.com slash almost 30 for up to 50 off and then we'll go into what is sort of happening in your life where do you want to go and what's keeping you from getting to that place that will lead us to have a lot of clarifying questions a lot of reframes a lot of aha moments a lot of discoveries, a lot of parts work sometimes.

57:13Sometimes we'll drop into parts work wherein we will see a part of you coming through. Maybe it's your perfectionist or your inner critic and then we'll work with that part on the spot. We'll do like a half hour parts work or 20 minutes of parts work. So really it depends on what you need in your soul. It could be a super strategy session where we're just kind of like looking at your business and looking at a conversation you need to have with your lawyer and how you could do that best. Like it really runs the gamut of where you are now and what you need because we're all multidimensional creatures.

57:40We all just like need something different at every time. And some of my women want to talk about relationships someday. Some of them want to talk about like how to ask for a negotiated raise and I've done it all. So I'm here to talk about all of it. Someone else asked how to position yourself as a high ticket coach and stop attracting lower budget clients. So in this journey, the only reason why I've continue to raise my price is because I have a wait list and so many people that want to work with me. And also I've realized how valuable my time is and how deep the transformation is that I provided.

58:13That like within the amount of moments and the container that I have, there's so much transformation happening that sets people up for the rest of their lives that it enabled me to continue to raise my prices. So sometimes with prices in this space, I think people can kind of throw a number out there or have an idea. But if the market isn't going to pay you for what you're wanting, you have to adjust that number. Sometimes people will work with me and then they'll kind of create their own coaching package and it will be like similar to mine or the same price as mine. And I'm like, you have to consider, take into consideration you as a coach, what you're bringing to the table.

58:50I'm bringing, I'm a published bestselling author. I've built two seven figure businesses. I've been in the corporate world for eight years in management consulting. I've sat with some of the most powerful teachers, healers in the world. I have eight years of healing expertise. You know, like it's just, I've done a lot of stuff over the years that have allowed me to charge what I charge. So what you can do is understand who you are, the gifts, skills, and abilities that you have. Maybe you've been in the corporate world for 15 years. You really know about X, Y, and Z. Maybe you've gotten trained in X, Y, and Z.

59:19What is it about you and your skills, your teachings? what are you naturally good at that would cultivate and call forward someone that is paying a certain price. Because I do have a public platform and I have more access to a greater audience, it allows me to charge more because I have more of an audience that is able to work with me and wants what I do. So having a larger audience helps. Having an understanding of your skills helps. Continuing to acquire new skills can also help. And then it's a lot of worthiness and worth work. Do you believe that your work is worthy of what it is that you're charging?

59:53Do you truly somatically understand that if you're charging$1 ,000 a month, however much you're charging, that that is absolutely without a doubt worth it and that even if someone doesn't believe it's worth it, you knew that they got what they came for? You have to do a lot of that work. And I don't always believe that higher ticket is like better. I think I've gotten a different type of client, the higher ticket I've gone, but it's not like people that can't pay as much aren't as willing, aren't as able. And sometimes you're the perfect coach for the perfect set of people at that time. And so I think that there's this like obsession with high net worth or high ticket clients that people want more of it.

1:00:33But really it's like you have to be willing to serve who you're serving right now in front of you at this now moment. You have to be willing to continue to do your worthiness work and continue to sculpt yourself as the person that is worthy of charging the higher rates. So that's what I have to say about that. I don't know if that was helpful or supportive, but I'm hopeful that was helpful. Basically, don't put a cookie cutter price on anything. You have to make it your own. You have to really figure out what works for you and what works for you based on who you are. Colby asks, finding your voice as an introvert, shy girl, but integration coach in training.

1:01:05So I actually love this question about being someone that's shy or an introvert and becoming a coach. because you absolutely do not need to be loud and boisterous and magnanimous and bold and all these things to be a coach. It actually is a very powerful skill and it behooves you to be shy and introverted in some way to be a coach for some people. Some people might really want to work with someone who's more shy, more introverted, like quicker to listen than to speak. Like your gift of this is your gift in coaching. Whoever you are in the world understood through you is a gift in coaching. If you are, you know, highly sensitive, it's a gift.

1:01:45If you are incredibly strategic, it's a gift. If you're type A, it's a gift. If you are like always see the best in people, it's a gift. Like there's so many things that sometimes in the real world are not always seen as gifts that are gifts in coaching. So because you are like this, you're a better listener. You're more attuned. You're more empathetic. You could be reading more. You could be more intuitive. As long as you're being honest and truthful in your advertising and in your promotion and in your conversations with people that this is who you are, I think that that's a huge asset to you.

1:02:17I think that that is such a gift to you. There is an aspect of this where you do have to find your voice. So I'm not saying you need to be loud or crazy, but you do have to find a voice because there needs to be a clear anchor and a guide to the relationship. So you don't have to be, you know, talking all the time, but there has to be general inquiry, questions, reframe support for this person in a way that feels unique to you. So I truly think that your shy girl elements could be the perfect fit for someone in the space that needs a coach that has more spaciousness, more patience, and more grace than potentially someone else.

1:02:51I love this question. Faye, my girl, she said, how to explain how it's not an MLM to be a coach coaching coaches. Hey man. And I don't know. I actually don't know about that. I don't know how to explain that. I think there's a lot of MLM companies in this world. I think there's a lot of people that sell courses about selling courses. There's a lot of people that sell social media courses on how to grow on social media by growing on social media. There's a lot of people that just sell what they've done. And sometimes people sell the courses before they've actually done it. So I actually don't know how you're a coach coaching coaches and how that's not an MLM.

1:03:25I do know that there is a world and space where there is a need to coach coaches because coaches can sometimes get so locked in a lane of thinking that they're right and perfect and they don't have to do any work and that they know everything and that they know the answers and they can kind of lose their touch. so I definitely know that there is a space and opportunity for coaches to be coached. You always need to be doing the work. You always need to be checking in on your biases. Now, how it's not an MLM, I don't know. And you guys, you know what's crazy about me? Another podcast for another day.

1:04:01I actually don't hate MLMs. I think it's kind of beautiful that people would like spend money with their friends and like build up their friends' businesses. And I know that's taking just the surface level icing of the cake of MLM, but you know, from a concept level, I don't really hate it. God, I love this question. How do you stay confident in your coaching when you're on your healing journey? I love this question so much because I am so deeply and radically honest with my clients about my own healing journey. That does not mean that I am taking up space in our session to talk about what's going on in my life.

1:04:33My clients only get access to what is going on in my personal life if asked or requested, or if it's helpful. We are not taking up space for me, period, the end. But if it's helpful or if it's requested, I will talk about very personal things that I'm currently going through. As an example, if I'm going through a breakup and I'm relearning boundaries and how to stay in my body, I will be very honest. And I think for anyone that's coaching, this is a really great tool to use for you to be honest about where you are in your process and stay in integrity. This is an incredible tool for staying in integrity.

1:05:10I tell my clients, I'm stepping out of Krista the coach here, and I'm going to step into Krista the person here. And I want to tell you about what I just learned from this breakup. So I'm basically naming that I'm no longer in the authority position as a coach. I'm now a human that's talking to you human to human. So don't take it from an authority. This is not me telling you what to do. This is a human talking to you as a girlfriend. You know, hey, and I'll say, hey, I'm just stepping in the room as a friend and I'm going to tell you about what I went through and I hope it's helpful. So I will name when I'm going through a process that is not fully baked.

1:05:46I will be very clear about where I'm baking with my clients to stay in integrity. You do not need to be perfect to be a coach, but you do need to have awareness of who you are and where you are in your process. There was also the question, how to help clients out of a negative mindset. So one of my favorite tools to use in my coaching is playfulness and humor. And so when you can come at someone in a loving perspective where they've already built trust with you, they already have an element of play and humor developed in the relationship. I will sometimes poke at or call forward a negative part of them.

1:06:24So say for an example, I have a client that's coming to me that's like, I just hate my boss and she sucks and she never listens to me and she's, you know, doesn't like me. I'll be like, oh my gosh, like welcome to the room, to this part that is having a really hard time with your, that is having a really hard time with your boss. Like, can I, can I talk to this part? Can she tell me more? And in that moment, I've brought levity and play and awareness to the fact that there's something going on here that's deep and that's triggering her. and then I'm also calling forward the part that we can work with.

1:07:02So levity and play is huge. Not getting attached to their negative mindset, reflecting back and mirroring to them what you're experiencing. You could say, wow, I didn't know that you had this much struggle. I didn't know you thought there was so much negative thought going on right now. Tell me about that. Your mirroring and reflecting is the first aspect of this process and one of the most important and then you get curious about it. And as you move down the path, then you can find out what is the best tool or resource to provide. My job as a coach is not to come into every call and say, I know IFS, I know NLP, I know energy healing, I know coaching training.

1:07:40It's to be like, hi, how are you? How can I help you? And then to go back in my toolbox and my toolkit and provide what's helpful, not to just throw everything at you. So I need to really attune to this person to see what they need, but play and humor is one of my favorite things to ever use in the process. Haley asked, how did you know you're ready to be a coach? So I knew because I actually felt the intuitive feeling and call that I was the woman that could handle and hold working with people and being a resource for people. And it actually happened after my divorce and after the darkest moments of that relationship and the patterns I had been in and the ways that I had struggled.

1:08:22I saw the metamorphosis that I brought myself through and all the things that I learned and all the dark nights of the soul. And I was like, oh no, I have become that woman that could bring any woman through everything. So it was the intuitive knowing and then it was getting the training. So it was both of those elements. And then it was third, it was God. It was God bringing the clients to me, bringing the resources to me in a way that felt really natural. I want to become a life coach, but calling myself one feels embarrassing. The title carries a lot of baggage. Think a therapist without the credentials.

1:08:54How do I shake the belief that life coaching is cringy when I'm simultaneously wanting to get certified it and to potentially be one? So real. I had one of my clients or maybe a few of my clients, we had to really work through the title of coach. You know, she was like, I don't wanna be called a coach. And we had to work through that a lot of her claiming and becoming a coach or becoming the title that felt true and resonant for her. So first to the point of credentials, there are certifications that people should be getting as a coach, I perceive. I don't think that people should just be willy-nilly on the street calling themselves a coach.

1:09:27So there actually is training and certification that coaches are getting and that coaches should have and that you should be getting certified and trained in various modalities to be the best place and space for people. I got somatic practitioner training last year because I knew that was a space that I needed more deepening and I wanted to provide that service. so you should definitely be getting having credentials so you should be covering the base with that and then to the second point of having it be cringy you know I definitely am completely aware that being a coach is cringy coaches are all over the place and all of that but I also know that it's a bubble that I live in and that that isn't true you know I only know people because they're in my bubble and I'm sort of attracting them or you know seeking them or seeing them more because I am a coach.

1:10:15So your reticular activating system could just be finding other coaches. And then also too, what is cringy about helping someone become the best version of themselves? What is more cringy would be working at a job that is harming people, hurting people in industries that are detrimental to society, that are actively harming the planet, that are actively harming our society and culture. Like the fact that we have this system that is so warped where we think that helping people as a coach become the best version of themselves would be cringy but yet like being a politician is not or being like a fucking like whatever horrible job that ruins the earth and the planet is is not so I just also know that the outside world and what they judge and assume as cringy is not any of my business and I know what I do with people and I think I had to just land in the fact that like this is truly who I am this is who I've always been and that I know the transformation I provide to people and I know what I do to people.

1:11:16I know how I help people and that's all I've wanted. And so it's going to be normal that you feel like it's embarrassing or whatever, but like, what would I rather be like a bank teller? Like, what would you rather be? Like, I don't, you know what I mean? Like, and not even no shade to bank tellers, but it's like, what else am I going to do? Just continue to jump from job to job and not like it because other people say to not. So you could also, so you need to come into terms with like the fact that you want to help people. You could call it something else. You could say, I'm a mentor. You could say, I'm a consultant.

1:11:46You could say, you know, I provide transformation to women in need. Like you could also work your way around it, but it's one of those things that I've just had to metabolize as true and accept because it is what it is. And I can't help how people perceive or think about me. I just know I have to do what I came here to do. So last question was Kelly, how do you, what was your process step-by-step course practice, self-work, et cetera. So I would say if we were to just really nail it down of what I did, deep self-work, deep becoming the woman that could hold the frame, talking to God and asking God if this was my path, getting an intuitive hit, opening up my availability for support through getting a coaching program, doing a coaching program, asking God if he wanted me to take the next step, getting a coaching client, and then continuing to stay close to God throughout the path of getting more courses, getting more training, and getting more clients.

1:12:35You should be doing tons of work or have done tons of work to be able to be a coach. You should then get certified in whatever modalities feel good for you, but modalities that will help people and that you feel called to. And then taking on clients and then figuring out what is your sweet spot and then figuring out what is your sweet spot for how many coaches you want or how many, and then figuring out what is your sweet spot for how many people you want to work with at a time. So I hope this was helpful. Okay. So now what do we, do we want to be coaches? Do we not like, how are we feeling about this?

1:13:04I mean, I really just wanted to pull back the curtain on my process and inspire you if it's something you want to do to lift the shame of feeling bad because you want to help people and you want to be who you are in the world and you want to make money and you want to serve in the new paradigm. Like the new paradigm does not work in the same system. Like it is about service. It is about authenticity. It is about using your gifts. And so people that are able to use their gifts now are going to be so much further ahead. I'm not saying everyone should be a coach. I do not think everyone should be a coach, just like I don't think everyone should have a podcast, but I do know that so many of you have gifts, skills, and abilities that so many people would benefit from.

1:13:39So if you have any questions for me, it's Krista.com. It's I-T-S-K-R-I-S-T-A. I have a wait list for my clients. I'm not taking any clients right now, but you can get to the wait list. You can do a one-on-one, like a one-off session. Sometimes I have those available, or you can find me on Instagram. It's Krista. It's I-T-S-K-R-I-S-T-A. And then I'm happy to answer any questions though. You can DM me if you have any further questions, I'm happy to support you in the process. Maybe I'll do something for coaches in the future because I love working with people that help people. And if you want more from me, you can go to my website, you can go to my Instagram and more from almost 30 is at almost 30.com almost 30 podcast on Tik TOK and Instagram.

1:14:16I love all the clips we've been sharing. You guys have to check it out. We have our YouTube, make sure to subscribe to the YouTube. It's available now with beautiful, beautiful video of us. And then we got morning microdose, our clips channel, which has a daily dose of almost 30 that you can listen to five days a week. I love you so much. I will see you on the next one. Bye-bye.