Start with Yourself: Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life

0:10Hi, my darlings, and welcome back to the Aspire podcast. I am so glad you're here today because I have so much to share with you, including a big announcement that I'll reveal in just a moment.

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2:38Let's get right into today's episode. What I want to dig into today is how you can reach your full potential and achieve lasting success. The truth is most people don't, and it's not because they aren't smart or talented or hardworking. It's because they never learned how to master their mindset. Now, I know this because I've lived it. I've worked jobs that I hated. I've dreamed endlessly of something more. And it wasn't until I realized that everything starts with yourself and your mind that my life truly started to change. And here's the good news. You can actually do the same. And over the next 30 minutes, I'm going to give you the tools to rewire your thoughts, to quiet your negative self-talk, handle your haters, and train your mind to create the success that you want.

3:27This is how you turn your mindset into your superpower. Now, before we dive in, I have to tell you today isn't any old day. Today, I've got a big announcement, a huge announcement, in fact. The announcement is that I wrote a book and it will be out next year. It's called Start With Yourself. This book is for anyone who's seeking success on their own terms. And honestly, I wanted to write it to share with you all what I believe is the central theme of my life. Call it a philosophy, call it a mindset, call it a tool, call it whatever you like. But when I landed this title, nothing has ever felt more true for me.

4:05Learning to always start with yourself is the theme of this book, and it's going to really give you the tools and the mindset to unlock your full potential. This book is a blueprint to my mindset and how I think about business and in life. It's structured in easy takeaways, so you can immediately apply my philosophy to whatever you're trying to build and create. It's not about prescribed actions, do this, do that. It's about a way of thinking. The book is about creating a mindset, an overall system of thought that manages and clarifies ideas. And it points the way to the right next step while always, always staying positive.

4:44It's about gathering yourself after failure. It's about being accountable, but it's also about forgiving yourself. It's about never expecting shortcuts, never being shy about grabbing things when they appear in front of you. And it's about pushing hard for the wins and never, ever apologizing for being a winner. In this book, I'm going to share my secrets. I'm going to reveal the hard-fought truths, no bullshit allowed, and the lessons collected during my 20-year journey. I'm going to explain how, against all the odds, success can be achieved and sustained because it's not magic. And I'm telling you, you can do it too.

5:23It's going to be out in the spring, 2026, and you can pre-order now wherever books are sold. I cannot wait for you to get your hands on it. It's a lot for me to take on. Okay, so here we go. Back to business mindset. Now, it doesn't matter what job you do, whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, if you work in a hospital, in a restaurant, if you're dreaming of starting a business, or if you're thinking that you want to make some extra cash with a side hustle. But I really believe that our success is directly linked to our mindset. For all the successful people we think about, from entrepreneurs to athletes to artists, mindset is the invisible force behind what separates those who rise to the top and those who stall.

6:06Mindset shapes how you see yourself, how you face challenges, how you deal with uncertainty, our daily habits, and we all know how I feel about habits. The mindset that you have can literally rewire your brain and all success starts in the mind and you can shape that starting today. So the question becomes, can you change your mindset? What if I told you, you can engineer success, you can learn to deal with the haters, you can learn to cope better with negative thoughts, you can train your mind to think positive and not BS toxic positivity, but real shit that will help you become successful. Get comfy because in the next 20 minutes, I'm going to spill the tea on the way you will actually master your mindset.

6:53So let's begin. We hear the word mindset thrown around all the time, but let me give you a clear definition for what it is and why it's so important so that we're all on the same page. Your mindset by definition is your established set of attitudes, beliefs, and ways of thinking that shape how you interpret the world. It's how you respond to situations and how you make decisions. Pretty important stuff. So you really, really want to be in charge of it. Think about your mindset as a garden. Whatever you plant, whether it's weeds of negativity or seeds of growth, they will take root, grow and shape the environment that you live in.

7:34You have to be intentional about what you plant and what you pull out. And one thing I know is that it's all within you. It starts with yourself. See how I did that? I know for me that the attitude I bring into my office and to my team and to the people I work with every day, that is what has helped shape and determine my success. So I want you to take a minute and have a think about what attitude you bring into every day and what is that manifesting for you. And I want you to share this episode with anyone that you think could benefit from hearing this too, because what I'm going to take you through, if taken seriously, will change your life.

8:14Now, remember that your mindset influences your behavior, your resilience, and ultimately the outcomes in your life and your business. And I know there's going to be so many people that listen to this podcast that have a really, really difficult life, difficult circumstances. You might hate your job. You might be in debt. You might be struggling to get where you want in life and things are not easy or quick to change. But that's your reality. And trust me, I know I've been there. I've worked every crappy job imaginable and dreamed of a different life. But it wasn't until I took full responsibility for my life that everything changed.

8:50What I'm 100 % sure of is that mastering your mindset will change the way you relate to everything in your life. It will change the way you see things and your ability to handle what life throws at you. Something that's really helped me understand how mindset works is this framework from Carol Dweck. There are two types of mindsets, a fixed mindset where you believe that your abilities and intelligence are static and unchangeable. You know, when you say things like, I'm just not good at math, I'm bad with money. We can all recognize that in ourselves or other people we know, right? Then there's the gross mindset.

9:28When you believe that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and through learning. As an example, I can get better at math if I practice. I've taught myself to be 100 % responsible for my finances. That right there is a gross mindset. And by the way, here's a little tip. If you haven't read Mindset by Carol Dweck, you need to go out and immediately buy that book. It's one of my favorites. And if you happen to be Carol Dweck and you haven't seen my emails or my calls, call me love because I'd really love to have you on the podcast. So here's how I like to think about mindset.

10:02A very, very wise woman once told me, the most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. And that stuck with me for so many reasons, but mostly because we all have a conversation going on with ourselves daily. And you've heard the quote, what you think you become, or my other favorite, what you tell yourself repeatedly becomes your life. It's so true. So this episode is about making your mindset a superpower. And the first step to change is to understand what your baseline mindset actually is. You might have an optimistic mindset, a defensive mindset, a pessimistic mindset, but it's key that you understand your baseline so that you can begin to shift it.

10:47So pause for a second and write it down. What is my baselined mindset? Be honest. Are you optimistic, pessimistic, defensive? Whatever it is, that's okay. But make that your starting point. And then it's really important to figure out when the mindset you have, the mindset you've adopted no longer serves you. And the most amazing news is that it's completely within your power to change it. You just have to make a decision and get serious about that decision and then use some of the tools that I'm going to show you to make a big, big change. So ask yourself, when challenges show up, what's my first instinct?

11:24Do I see them as opportunities or as threats? Do my daily thought patterns build me up or tear me down? Am I more focused on what's possible or what could go wrong? And does my mindset energize me or does it drain me? If I stayed in this same mindset for the next five years, where would it take me? That's a big question. It's a really big question. And most importantly, does my current mindset align with the life I actually want to create? Just write it all down. Ask yourself those questions. And if your honest answers don't feel empowering, that right there, that's your signal that it's time for a shift.

12:04So take a minute to jot down one question from that list, the one that hit you the hardest. And if you feel bold, text that question, the one that hit you the hardest to a friend or share it with someone who needs to hear it too.

12:21I'm always talking to people about starting a side hustle to make some extra cash. My view is that you have to start with what you have exactly where you are already. And it got me thinking, what about your own home? When you're away, your home doesn't just have to sit there. A lot of people are put in their space to work while they travel by hosting on Airbnb. It's a simple, flexible way to earn a little bit of extra income without a big time commitment. Even just a few nights can help offset travel costs, meals, or maybe even a nice dinner while you're gone. It's a practical option that doesn't require much.

12:54Just making your place available while you're away and letting someone else enjoy it. And because you're in control of your schedule, it really can work around your life, not the other way around. If you've got a trip coming up, whether it's work related or just a weekend away, it might be worth looking into. Your home could be more valuable than you think. Check it out at airbnb.com forward slash host. Calling all sourdough tamers, souffle whisperers, and jammy egg savants. Whether you're a professional chef or just whipping up something delicious on the weeknight, there's one brand that can truly up-level your kitchen style and functionality.

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16:10So here we go. The first tool that I want to talk to you about is the power of dreams, or what I've come to understand as creative visualization. Now, as a kid and still now, I am a day dreamer. I've always spent a lot of time playing in my head with what I wanted to see in my future. Two things happened to me to make me understand why creative visualization is really real. I read a seminal book about it in my twenties. And then later I visited the Hoffman retreat. I did daily visualizations and I've kept it as part of my routine because it works. And the benefits of creative visualization are huge.

16:51Now, before you think I'm a little off here, It's not magic. Visualization doesn't replace action, but it does fuel it. When you practice this technique, it is a game changer. It can boost motivation and clarity. It increases your confidence and your focus. It's actually proven to help reduce anxiety and fear. Creative visualization can rewire limiting beliefs or mental blocks. And here's the absolute best part. it actually primes your brain to notice opportunities all around you. So as I mentioned, I learned this technique after reading the most amazing book. It's called Creative Visualization by Shakti Gwain.

17:35The premise is exactly what it sounds like. You use your imagination to create vivid, detailed images of the outcomes you want to achieve. It's like mentally rehearsing your ideal future, tapping into your brain's ability to influence your emotion, your focus, your motivation, and even your behavior through imagery. Now, you've probably heard about athletes that use this technique where they mentally run a race and they visualize themselves like moving down the track, crossing the line and winning. Well, the same technique can be used for anything that you want to achieve in your life. When you vividly imagine something, your brain responds almost as if it's happening for real.

18:16And that activates neural pathways, making your goals feel more achievable and aligned with your subconscious. So if you've never tried this before, why not? I'm going to teach you my step-by-step to getting started. So first you have to have an intention, decide exactly what you want to visualize. This could be a really specific goal. Like you want to start your own business. It could be that you want to give a great presentation in the office. It could be a feeling that you want to have, but you need a concrete example for your intention. Then you want to find some solitude, a bit of quiet space.

18:51And just as you would with meditation, you're going to sit down somewhere, very calm, close your eyes, breathe slowly and deeply, completely relax yourself. And I want you to do that for five or 10 minutes. then what I want you to do is to paint a mental picture as if your intention, the thing that you want is already happening. And that part is really important. You need to be clear with what you see, what you feel, what's around you, what do you hear? You need to make your visualization the most detailed possible. It's going to help your brain believe that what you're doing, like so much more deeply.

19:33You have to really feel the emotions, feel the thing that's happening to you. Like how would you feel in the moment that your wish is actually happening? Now, after you try this exercise, you need to write it down, exactly what you visualize and how it feels as though it's already happened because seeing it on paper will make it feel even more real. You let that feeling sink in and you really imagine what it feels like. And the last thing you need to do is reinforce it with repetition. You need to repeat your visualization daily, even if it's only for a few minutes. It can be first thing in the morning, it can be before you go to sleep, but over time, your brain will start to align your thoughts and your actions and your focus.

20:17The most important thing for you to take out here is this. It's seeing plus feeling plus repeating. Imagine your goal is already real. Feel it emotionally and repeat it consistently with the most clarity and confidence that you can muster. The next technique that I want to talk about is training your mind to think positively. Now listen, I want to be clear that training your mind to think positively is different from positive thinking. I am allergic to toxic positivity. I cannot take it when people try to light up a situation that is shit. I will never, ever, ever asked you to do that. But I have been thinking long and hard about what exactly in my own life impacts my positive thinking the most.

21:04Because if you're listening to this podcast, you want strategies, you want takeouts, you want things that you can apply immediately. So this is what it boils down to for me. Three things. Number one, the first thing and probably the most important is understanding this. You become the average of the company you keep. I'll say it again. You become the average of the company you keep. So you have to be super intentional about being around supportive, optimistic people that actually improve your outlook. Successful people, people that are trying to ship, people that have big dreams and are intelligent and open-minded and those that are striving to be better.

21:44Negative environments, negative people, bad relationships, they pull you downwards. One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves as we get older is take responsibility. Remember, I'm the start with yourself girl, which means taking control and sometimes making changes and doing like a little check of who you're surrounding yourself with is the best place to start and put your energy. I feel like every couple of years I have a reset. I look around me and I figure out who's net positive in my life and who could I do without? And then I shed. Sometimes, honestly, I wonder given everything that I know, how I even end up with people that drain my energy, but it happens.

22:28And the important thing is that you recognize it and you move away from it quickly. Number two, consumption matters. Now, if you know me and if you follow me, you know that I work hard to make sure that what comes into my world and what comes out of me is positive because I know that consumption matters. Your attention is your most valuable cognitive resource. What you give to, what you give power to, even the words that you regularly hear and you read, they influence you massively. Maybe you've got a friend who's like doom scrolling too much or someone that just, you know, overindulges in the gossip, like in the worst ways.

23:08You need to share this episode with them because it could help shift their energy. So think about it. What's the one thing that you're consuming daily that lifts you up? And what's the one thing that you know that's draining you? And then you need to write it down so that you can act on it because your brain is constantly rewiring itself in response to what you pay attention to. And over time, this reshapes how you think. Your thought patterns shift what you believe about yourself and about the world, what you feel, your emotions and your moods, and how you act, your behaviors and your habits.

23:43It's all constantly shifting. Remember, every time you consume information, whether it's educational, emotional, or entertaining, you're training your brain to strengthen those related neural pathways. We all know that constant comparison on social media actually lowers your self-esteem and it triggers insecurity. All of us have felt that. So you've got to balance that with purposeful, good stuff. Listen, repeated exposure to fear-based news, it trains your brain to expect danger and that just increases your anxiety. Whereas repeated exposure to uplifting, solution-orientated content, that strengthens your hope, gives you creativity, and it gives you resilience.

24:27Books that inspire you and expand your mind, they challenge your assumptions and they improve your ability to think well. Every single morning, I post a quote. I post it out to my followers on social media, but make no mistake, that quote is as much for me as it is for anyone else. I also read all the time. I usually have like two or three books going all at once. But what I choose to read, again, that's about my growth and my learning and the things that I'm going to find motivating and inspirational. And it has a massive, massive impact on my ability to stay positive because I plan it that way.

25:04And you should too. So I have made it a habit to consume one positive, meaningful, or uplifting thing every day. It could be a podcast that inspires you. I know a great one, of course. It could be a book, an article on growth, a spiritual or philosophical passage that means something to you. Could be a five-minute motivational talk on YouTube. My favorites are the Steve Jobs Stanford commencement speech and also the famous Admiral William McRaven's make your bed speech. I love that one so much. I even made my kids watch it. But this works because just like food, your mindset actually reflects what you feed it.