#455: Why We Don’t React, We RESPOND With Heather!

0:00I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me. We are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. That's a no-see. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so this was a, wow, a crazy intense week. Way too much fun, way too over the top. No one should be having fun like I have had last week. It's insane, and I'm exhausted. My voice is gone, and please bear with me. So here's what I know. I just had my 50th birthday and I had friends from all over the country that came in and it was such an incredible week.

0:46And I just wanted to remind you that it's the little things. It's making the trip. It's being thoughtful. It's my best friend creating a book, 10 Reasons Why You're My Best Friend, and then making a blanket of our whole lives together from when our children were babies, from when we were teenagers. just being so thoughtful and kind from one of the women that worked for me for 15 years in the radio business sending me flowers and a card and I hadn't seen her in months right just all these incredible things that people do to make you feel special to let you know that they love you that you're important to them and these are milestones and it just I felt so incredibly loved so supported now so this is a reminder first and foremost and I'm gonna keep this short because I want you to know that 150 is not something to be sad about.

1:36It's something to be celebrated, just like any milestone, any birthday, any, anything is to be celebrated, right? So my reminder to you today is this, reach out to somebody that has impacted your life in a positive way. Don't think that not making the call or, you know, make it, make the call, send the text, send the card, send the flowers, jump on the plane. People are everything. Relationships are everything. And it's just, I feel so beyond blessed for the relationships of friendships and all the love that I have. So, so grateful. I can't even put it into words. I'm so grateful. I just really meant so much to me to have so many people supporting me and showing up for me in the last week.

2:11Okay. And which is so fun too, by the way, it was insane.

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4:07So with all those good things, right, there's lots of good going on. Of course, there's some not good going on. I'm exhausted. I haven't slept. I've gone out more in the last week than I've gone out in a year, probably. I mean, we went out every single day. It was crazy. So it's a little tiring today, and we're going to have to get back in a normal routine again, which is not going to be easy as I try to get my voice back. But one of the things that I noticed as I'm trying to grow as a human being and a person is I did not like, right, a lot of people were reaching out to me on my actual birthday, and I did not like getting a message from one person.

4:43And it was so funny that I really had to witness myself. Like, have you ever done this? You know, you're noticing your behavior and you're like, oh, this is not good. Like, wait a minute. I am not impressed by this one. I unraveled. Somebody reached out to me. I didn't feel that person should reach out to me. I didn't want to hear from that person. And it put me in a little bit of a tailspin or I allowed it to put me into a little bit of a tailspin where I was upset and, you know, being negative and saying not nice things, being a baby, right? That wasn't what I wanted. it. And it was interesting because as I reflected on it, a few minutes later, another person reached out to me that I had not expected to hear from either.

5:21But this one, I felt that was okay. And so I was like, oh, that's cute. That was so cute. Oh, what a nice guy, blah, blah, blah. Right. So it was interesting as I observed myself, and I wonder if you've ever done this, where you're like, you qualify what's okay and what's not. And so the problem was this, It was on my actual birthday. I allowed this message that I got to put me into a negative mood, which was ridiculous. And listen, I ended up shaking it, but not fully, right? I was just kind of a little bit off. You know how sometimes you can react to somebody sending you a message or a note or you don't like it or you qualify it.

5:55Anyhow, bottom line is I did all those things, all the wrong things. I reacted. I, you know, did not react with class and grace. I was negative. I was cold. Not my finest moments. but then literally five minutes later another person sends me a message and I decide that that is great and wonderful and I'm so excited and it was funny to observe me doing that because I realized wait a minute I'm not in charge of what other people do I'm not in charge of who reaches out to me who doesn't that's you know about them that's not about me but I am in charge of how I respond to it right and just because I didn't feel it was right for that other person to message me that's not my choice.

6:33And when I finally, it took about a day, but it was the next day. I finally stepped back from it and I realized I was being really negative for nothing. Instead, I could just receive it as, okay, this person reached out. I don't have to be, you know, over the moon about it. I don't have to understand why I did it, but it just is. So I'm going to see it as this is another person in my life that has positive thoughts or emotions around me, my birthday, and I can leave it at that. I can be grateful for that and I can move on. And so it was such a blessing the next day when I finally decided to let that go and just, you know, not try to overanalyze it and over whatever it, but instead let it go, say, okay, wasn't what I thought I wanted, but you know what?

7:17That's nice and keep it moving. So for you with whatever you are facing, or if you are ever in a situation where you feel like someone shouldn't have reached out or they didn't reach out and they should have, right? Like you qualify all these things. And I had done that a couple of times this week. It was just interesting to observe that with a big milestone birthday, you have the opportunity to kind of notice that stuff. And I was pretty proud of myself. That only took 24 hours for me to get my head back on right and then be a kinder, nicer person, even though I definitely wasn't initially in the moment.

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9:50My message for you today is, as always, we do not react. We respond with all the class and grace within us, even though I forgot on my birthday. I definitely did. And it took 24 hours to get it right, but I did get it back to right again. And I felt so much better once I did. The funny thing is doing the right thing will always make you feel better, even though it might be so hard to do in the moment, which it definitely was for me. So that's my message for you today. We do not react. We respond with all the class and grace in the world. And what somebody else does isn't about us. That's about them.

10:21How we respond to it is about us, right? So we just got to let that go and stop trying to control it because we can't. And the other thing is showing up matters, reaching out to people and letting them know how you feel about matters and send the text, make the call, make the book, make the blanket, Whatever it is for you, do the thoughtful act because people are everything in relationships or everything in life. And I am so incredibly grateful for mine. I'm so incredibly grateful for you listening to the show. I'm so incredibly grateful for all the support. And just wanted to remind you today, make the call, send a text, make the book.

10:58You will be glad that you did. I'm so glad for all the messages that I received. I hope you have an amazing day today. And I hope you keep creating your confidence because you know I will be. See you next week. I decided to change that dynamic I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear Start learning and growing Inevitably something will happen No one succeeds alone You don't stop and look around once in a while You could miss it I'm on this journey with me