#523 When to Push, When to Pivot, and When to Ask for Help with Heather

0:00Hey, welcome back. I'm so excited to share this special episode with you bringing back mic drop moments from three of your favorite solo episodes I've done. It's time to dream bigger, take bold action, and trust that life is rigged in your favor. You'll learn how faith forms the unshakable foundation for success, why going big and investing in yourself opens doors to new opportunities, and how embracing uncertainty is a powerful catalyst for your growth. Plus, you'll learn the direct connection between who you surround yourself with and what manifests in your life. I know this episode is going to get you pumped to take action and put in the reps to unlock your next level, especially if you're afraid.

0:37Now let's dive in. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. One of the things that I like to do on my birthday, I just mentioned, I just turned 47 years old. And anytime I have a birthday, I want to reflect on the past year, you know, what I'm proud of, what went well, potentially what could have gone differently, and then forecast and look out, okay, over that next year, what are the goals that I have? You know, what am I looking forward to and what things can I do better differently or do more of that work great?

1:15One of the things that I realized for me, and I don't know if you feel this way, is that I've noticed I am not a patient person. And the older I get, the more I notice it, right? So I stopped myself and started thinking back to what I first got into the radio business when I was 22 years old, right? And I left the radio business when I was 43. So over 20 years in one industry, obviously after 20 years in an industry, you're going to be an expert. You're going to be incredibly well-known. You're going to have tremendous contacts. Well, when I got fired, I started over as a first-time author and then new to the speaking business and then new to the podcasting world.

1:53I was a rookie in everything, right? But I was so used to being the expert because I had been in media for so long that I never stopped to say to myself, wait a minute, you need to compare yourself to your 22 year old version of yourself getting into radio. So I don't know if you fall into that same category as someone who puts tremendous pressure on yourself, has no patience, and really doesn't give yourself that runway that you may need to find success. So I know that for me, the past few years since I got fired, I just have this tremendous, I have very high expectations for myself because I've achieved massive success in another industry.

2:31However, I found I need to be, you know, good things take time, great things take even longer. And I'm starting to really see that firsthand. I want to explain to you how that is. So when I first got fired, the first thing I did was I wrote and self-published my first book, Confidence Creator. I had no idea what I was doing. None, zero, right? Now, fast forward a couple of years, I've done it once. So I have some experience to lean on as well as this time I'm doing it with HarperCollins leadership. So I have a team of people who are experts, which is incredibly different, right? So it's a very, in just a short window of time, a couple of years, I'm in a very different situation.

3:05And it's helping me to gain insight into experience takes time and experience really helps you access more success and do it more seamlessly, right? So for me, I look back on that first book and I didn't even know to pre-promote or do pre-orders. I really didn't have that base of knowledge. And now here we are. It was three months to the day that the launch will be. It was August 9th. The book comes out November 9th and the book hit number one new release on Amazon on that day. And I was so excited and so proud. And it took me back to my first book and thinking, wow, I didn't even promote my book three months out because I probably didn't even have it done yet, or I didn't know how to do it.

3:50Or it's just, it's so interesting what you can learn in just a couple of years or just going through one cycle of creating something and publishing it or building something just even one time, it teaches you so much that you're better positioned for more success that next time. So, you know, whatever situation you're in that you're doubting that you're not moving fast enough, that maybe you're just not being patient enough with yourself, give yourself some grace because I'll tell you, I really am trying to find that for myself right now. And as things move forward with my new book, Overcome Your Villains and HarperCollins Leadership, I'm learning so much more, which will not only set me up for more success this time, but for the next time moving forward.

4:34And I'm trying to liken it back to my career in media that I didn't start at 43 as a chief revenue officer. I started at 22 as an account executive, a sales rep, and it took years to build myself up to that level of success and knowledge and expertise. It didn't happen overnight. So please be patient with yourself. I hope that you see that I'm really, I'm trying so hard. I'm trying to live it. It's not always easy because I would like things to happen faster. Wouldn't we all, right? We want success to happen overnight, but the reality is if success was easy, everyone would have it. And I'm constantly reminding myself of that.

5:14And I want you to remind yourself of that too. Success isn't always easy. you don't just fall into it. It takes a lot of trial and error. And over time, you'll develop experience and then you'll develop expertise. And then you'll start to have the contacts and know the hacks and know who to call. And you can start seeing and getting ahead of challenges before they happen. So I've just had this really interesting week to reflect because of my birthday, because of going to Naples again and being with the board and reflecting on how I wasn't on the board and I had pitched myself for so long and I couldn't get on the board for that company.

5:49And now again, looking back, you can see how the dots connect looking back, but I can tell you for sure those days when I used to sit back in that media company, pitching myself and getting the run around, I had no idea what was going on other than to look at myself and think something might be wrong with me. And if you're in that situation, I challenge you to question that because I needed to question it for myself because I was enough. I was the right fit. That company, that board, they were not the right fit for me. And I was being blocked. And just in case you are, pick your head up, start talking to people outside of your company, your opportunity, your industry, wherever you are, and realize it might not be you.

6:30It really might be them. And that's why we all need to work on overcoming our villains, whether that villain is inside your own head or sitting across from you at the table, at work, or even at home.

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10:15I asked you to try to find your passion. This was interesting. I received an email to my website this week that I, it's kind of big, but we're going to have to get into it. Okay. Hey, I've never reached out to someone like this before. I love the Q and a section of your podcast. Thank you. And I'd like some advice. I have been listening to your podcast and your book is next on my list. Thank you. You're going to love Confidence Creator. Okay. I resonate with your story, especially some of the events that have occurred while you're in corporate America. I'm a mom with three little kids and okay, here's the situation.

10:49It looks like she was getting fired or let go or furloughed or whatever. And they offered her the same type of deal that I was offered. And what this is, is it's essentially a non-disclosure. So in corporate America, when you're laid off or fired or whatever, parting ways with a company, the company always wants to protect their rights, their entity, their team members, their leadership team, their board members, whatever. They want to protect the information that's gone on while you're there, the information that you have that's relevant to the company, the employees, or whoever. So they ask you to sign a non-disclosure, non-disparaging, which means you will never speak badly about the company.

11:28You will disclose no information about any experience you had with the company or any of its partners or anyone that worked there for the entire duration of your time at the company. And in lieu of that, you receive a check. So they pay you. However, I had seen that movie play out badly so many times as I had been an executive at that company for 14 years. And one of the themes I saw is someone would get a check and these aren't like million dollar checks, right? These are oftentimes, I mean, it's different for everybody, but maybe for some it's 20 ,000, maybe for some it's a lot less. It's not something that you're going to retire off of.

12:03If mine had been retire worthy, I probably would have taken it. But I, in that moment for me, I had to say, am I going to take some B rate check right now to basically force me to put a muzzle on about what I've gone through? Or am I going to roll the dice on me and just go for it? And I, as you know, chose option B. Well, this woman and everyone has to choose what's right for them in the moment, right? So at the time I chose not to take the check and not to sign, I was 43 years old. I'm pretty confident in myself. And I was pissed that they had treated me so poorly. And that kind of fueled me as well.

12:40I don't know this woman's situation, but it's different because she decided to take the check, which by the way, 95 or 99 % of people do in my experience anyways. Okay. Early on my time in the company, they had made me a shareholder and thank me for my extra efforts. At the time, I didn't realize there was no out clause and it was really just a way to prevent me from leaving. Major life lesson learned. Declining to leave was a legal battle. They did pay out my shares. I did sign the NDA as a breadwinner for my family. The buyout was, you know, the bridge play. And I totally get it. You felt you had to do it.

13:16I understand. That bridge play gave her the ability to start her own business. Here's the complication. They're paying me out over time. Yeah, that makes it way harder. And she has to play nice because of certain people who work at the company who are still in her circle. Here's my ask. I feel stuck with my NDA. That sucks. I'm just going to say it right now. That sucks. There's certain decisions we make in life that we look back on and we say, oh, I would have done it differently. I will tell you this. For me, that day when I got fired, I thought to myself, this sucks. I wish I had quit five or 10 years ago.

13:48I really feel like that. had I known what the future held, I would have left years ago and taken that time and effort instead of building that woman's company, I would have been building my own company, right? But these are the moments you have to say, I'm going to learn from this in this moment and apply this knowledge to the future version of me because I can't do anything about the past one. So it sucks. I feel you on that. And we are with the NDA, but you are now on your own and you are building your company, which is super exciting. I feel like they still have the power over me. And I totally get that.

14:18That's why I didn't sign it. I totally get it because they will not allow you to tell your story to speak about what's happened. How do I navigate building a successful business and showing up authentically while honoring my NDA? That's confusing to me. You absolutely can show up as a real version of you. You just can't tell the story of that business. That's fine. You have other stories in your life. That wasn't your whole entire life. I tell a lot of stories of my business today and lessons I'm learning today and less about what happened when I was at that company. So the further you distance yourself from that time, the more time that lapses, the more stories you have.

14:53So you don't have to just focus on that one window of working at that company. And also during that time, you have other stories you can share and tell that happened outside of work that aren't part of your NDA. So I wouldn't get so laser focused on that. I challenge yourself to see what's outside of that in your life. And it's a full life. You have three kids, right? You totally have other stories outside of just that when you worked at that company Without some of the context and backstory, I feel my experience is less credible. I completely disagree with that. Your experience is only less credible if you say it is, right?

15:26You can come to market and you can go to social media and position yourself on your website or podcast or whatever it is you do that you are exceptionally credible. And here's why. And here's what my clients say about me, right? Testimonials and experiences working with someone are so incredibly powerful. I would leverage those. That's not you telling your story. that's somebody else speaking up and telling it. And that's a really powerful credibility point for you. And you don't, again, need to be talking about the other company. You just need to get creative in how you do it. And you need to believe in yourself that you are credible, whether you can speak about something or not.

16:00And you absolutely are. So she doesn't feel like she's going to be taken seriously. And I totally disagree. And I challenge you, if you're listening right now, to see that differently and to have that conversation with yourself. Tell yourself a different story first. Tell yourself, I signed an NDA. It gave me the bridge play to start my own company. For that, I'm super grateful. Now I'm challenged to find a way to tell my story without being disparaging to the company that I work for. And I'm going to make that happen. And it's going to work better than anything else. Get really clear and intentional about what you're going to do and challenge yourself to do it.

16:35Just remember, I was so upset a week ago when I saw all these charges from Amazon and thinking yet again, a complete debacle and something I can't figure out. And now that seems just a week later that it could potentially be opening up some very major partnerships for me, opportunities for me, and things that would have never occurred had I not been faced with that challenge. Stay focused on the solution. Challenge yourself to find the solution and the obstacles will not stop you. Meet a different guest each week. Raise on the chair. Confidence clear. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app.

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17:58You'll meet with an experienced licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and can prescribe medication when it's right for you. Your care stays consistent and evidence-based. Head to talkiatry.com slash confidence and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's talkiatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes. I ask you to try to find your passion. As you know, I'm a rookie author with HarperCollins Leadership. My new book, Overcome Your Villains, is available for pre-order now, but I have no idea what I'm doing, of course, as this is the first time I've done a book with a publishing house.

18:45And so we have, every two weeks, we have a team meeting with HarperCollins to go over a variety of different things. This week, we were talking about our pre-order campaign and pre-launch and hitting the goals to sell 7 ,000 books before the book launches. And so as you know, if you want someone to do something, you need to give them more value than you're asking for. So right now, Amazon's running a sale on my book. It's$24.99. What I decided to do was put together a bonus bundle of offerings, my$299 confidence video course, my 30-day email accountability program to help you achieve your goals, the new Overcome Your Villains workbook that I created, the first chapter of the book.

19:29And for people who want to join the launch team, they get Zoom meetings with me where I'm going to read chapters of the book and answer questions. And so I'm coming with all these offerings to get people to take action to buy the$24.99 book. And so I'm on the call with HarperCollins and it was crazy and very unexpected. My point of contact said, Heather, I just want to let you know your website, overcomeryourvillains.com looks amazing. Your workbook's amazing. Your bonus bundle is worth$500 that you're offering people for free just for buying the book. It's amazing. She said, I have to tell you, it's so nice to work with someone that gets things done so quickly and follows direction so well.

20:09She said, this is not the way it usually works. Usually it's not this seamless. I felt super proud, first of all, because I've been working so incredibly hard at this and it's not easy, right? The amount of time going into this stuff is obscene. However, I'm super proud of what I'm creating. And I'm so grateful to all the people who are pre-ordering. If you have not pre-ordered yet, please go to overcomeyourvillains.com. You can buy the book from the links there and then download your$500 bonus bundle. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, so I was really shocked and surprised about that call and did not expect it at all.

20:45However, every time I have a call with them, the list of things that I have to do grows and grows and grows. However, I know if you don't put the hard work in, you will not get the results. And that is the bottom line. Everybody wants success, but people don't want to put the work in. And the darkest days are the ones that you need to grind through to see that breakthrough on the other side. And I am so committed to this. And definitely the last year has been so incredibly challenging. but I will tell you that I see light at the end of the tunnel. I don't think it's a train. I think it's going to be great.

21:19And I'm pushing through these tough times now so we can have better times tomorrow. And I want you to do the same because you're worth it. Okay. So this is surreal. And I just noticed it that four years ago today, the announcement went out in the media industry that I had just been fired four years ago. And I put myself back in that day and remembering what it was like and how scared I was and how much anxiety I had about the unknown and just the fear of what would I do. And fast forward to now, you know, I didn't know I'd self-publish and write my book, Confidence Creator. I didn't know that book would trump Donald Trump for the number one on the business biography list, right?

22:03I didn't know I'd launch a speaking business. I I didn't know I'd be named top 40 keynote speaker in 2020 by real leaders. I didn't know I'd give a TEDx talk that will get promoted to TED and translated into six languages. I didn't know Harvard would call in January and ask me to teach a professional sales and sales leadership course for them. I didn't know I'd be appointed to the board of directors of HealthLink. I didn't know I'd sign with HarperCollins leadership and write a book with them, right? I didn't know. I didn't know I'd launch this podcast. I didn't know any of those things. And the key to remember is this, you can only connect the dots after the fact.

22:39You can't connect them on the front end. No one has that vision or that master plan that just drops down on their lap. It's something that you have to take messy and aggressive action, repeated action and repeated action to continue to find your way. And today, four years later, I can look back and I see how the dots connect and I see why They connected. But four years ago today, I had no flipping idea and I was petrified. And by the way, I'm still scared so many days because I constantly put myself into new arenas. I start over as a new first time published author. I start over, right? I'm constantly challenging myself to go into new unknown environments, which is scary.

23:24But the more that you do it, the better you get at it and the more normal it seems. So step into fear, choose to see fear as a green light. That means go and grow and go now. And the more that you do it, the easier it will be next time. So until next week, please, if you could subscribe, rate and review the show, it would mean the world to me. If you tag me, I'm always reposting you on social media. And if you haven't yet, please pre-order the book, Overcome Your Villains. You can go to overcomeyourvillains.com or anywhere books are sold, that book is everywhere. It is so crazy. It has more websites up than my first book ever did.

24:00And I'll tell you, in sales, distribution is key. And I'm thinking this is going to be a game changer. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will too. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably, something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. I'm on this journey with me.