Confidence Classic: Break Free from Limiting Beliefs with Heather David, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist

0:00Heather Monahan:It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com. Upwork.com. Whether you need help covering payroll, managing cash flow, or investing in growth, you deserve better. That's why I recommend the small business marketplace Fundera, powered by NerdWallet. It's free, easy-to-use platform that lets you compare real financing offers from trusted lenders all in one place. Go to nerdwallet.com slash confidence to find the funding you deserve. Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince.

0:43Heather Monahan:Go to quince.com slash confidence for free shipping and 365 day returns. Go to quince.com slash confidence for free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash confidence. On Whatnot, you go live and sell directly to people in real time. You go live, show off products and turn what you love into real income. Visit whatnot.com slash sell to start selling. When you are now judging your brother and sister, you are opening yourself up for that judgment and you are not coming from your powerful self. So we can't control what everyone else does, but we can control what we do. And it's not about perfection.

1:31We're human. When you realize we're all the same, we're all connected. Your confidence goes up because you're like, I can be with anybody. I can be around anybody because no one is above me and I'm not above anyone.

1:44Heather Monahan:I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet our guest today. Heather David is a clinical hypnotherapist and a certified advanced rapid transformational therapist.

2:24Heather Monahan:Heather's office is located in Corona Del Mar. Her clients benefit from her expertise in regression based hypnotherapy, which allows them to tap into childhood scenes to discover what limiting beliefs are affecting their relationships, careers, and happiness. She loves working with teens and young adults since she has firsthand knowledge of the issues they are faced with in today's stressful social and educational environments. Heather, thank you so much for being here. You're welcome. Thanks for having me. This is great. Thank you. Well, I'm so excited. I want to share a very dear friend of both of ours, Lou Parker from KTLA-TV, introduced us during one of her live events.

3:05Heather Monahan:And I had the pleasure of hearing you deliver a keynote at the event, which really impacted me in such a big way. And I want to get into that. But before we jump into what you did that day and how powerful it was, I wanted to ask, how in the world does someone get into the line of work that you are now in Heather? Well, I guess there are many paths. Mine was about six, seven years ago. My kids were getting older. I knew they were going to be out of the house. I would be an empty nester. And so I decided that I needed a career for myself. I had a career for 12 years in the financial planning area, stopped my career, raised my girls.

3:47And then I thought, you know, I need something else for myself. And I actually was going through my own struggles of finding myself and my identity and what am I going to do in this next chapter of my life. And so I went to a hypnotherapist and somehow I was steered towards a therapist. I had done traditional therapy, but then this was something new. And when I went to see this woman, she kind of, as we were talking, said, have you thought of doing hypnotherapy yourself as a career? And I I thought, no, I could look into it. She referred me to Marissa Peer from London who started RTT, Rapid Transformation Therapy.

4:26So for about a year, I listened to Marissa Peer's recordings and videos, and I loved her message. And a big belief she has and puts out there is I am enough. So it's really powerful and confidence building, this concept of I am enough. And so I just decided, you know, I'd love to learn more. and she was coming to California for the first time in 2017 to teach. So I went to Malibu and I took her course, worked with her for a few weeks, you know, long days, took a test and said, this is what I'm going to do. So then I started a practice, opened my office in Grenada Del Mar, started just helping people.

5:10I really didn't have a niche. It was like whoever needed to come to me. I found that I was getting a lot of referrals and a lot of people were coming for anxiety and confidence, little bit of smoking and habits, which wasn't really my favorite thing to do. I really like working with people where I'm showing them their personal power. When I meet with someone and I talk to them and they come to me with, this is what my problem is. What I see is their power. I see all the things they can do. And so that's what I do is I work with them and showing them how to overcome those limiting beliefs that maybe started when they were young.

5:51And what Marissa Peer taught me was age regression hypnosis. So you take the person back to a younger time in their life when some of these beliefs were imprinted. So it's like it could be, you know, it's not like the parents tried to do this to their kids or the teachers or people around them that influenced them. But the kids pick up these ideas based on personality, based on their age, what's going on in their life. And these beliefs get imprinted at different times. And so when you go in with hypnosis, you can kind of go back to those memories, those situations, and look at them and turn them around from a point of now you're a powerful adult.

6:35And you can stand up for yourself. You have a voice. You can run away from that bully. You can call the authorities, you know, I mean, showing them how that's not me anymore. This is who I am now. So that's what I learned through Marissa Peer. And that's what I've been doing for the last several years with my practice working with people. And I also do tapping. That's another tool. So I have different tools that I use with my clients, depending on what they need. But hypnosis is very, very powerful, really can help get to the crux of the problem, I think, a lot quicker than talk therapy. I'm not putting down talk therapy.

7:19I've gone to talk therapy. There are great talk therapists out there, and there are times in your life when you need that. I just know that when I take someone into their first appointment in an hour and a half, I can get into very deep feelings. And I mean, I have many people, you know, with tears in their eyes and they're not reliving, but they're reviewing what they experienced and they're getting it out. And what Marissa Pierce says is where tears flow, healing goes. So it really, I think bringing this up, these emotions, really, it's a healing experience.

8:00Heather Monahan:Oh, I couldn't agree more. I actually, I went through hypnotherapy myself many different times in my life. And yeah, I've had very profound experiences, not only remembering things that I hadn't remembered had occurred, which was number one, right? Because some of us just want to forget the past, block out the past. And my mind was able to do that, right? For whatever reason. But I was able to uncover things that were there that I wasn't aware of. And once, like you said, once we uncovered it, we could review it and then we could, I don't want to say redesign it, but we could see it in a different light where, like you said, now I'm separate from that memory.

8:37Heather Monahan:That memory isn't stuck inside of me, hidden somewhere. That is a separate time in my life and I am no longer in that position. And that was incredibly empowering. So I'm sure you've had some amazing experiences with your clients. Yes. It teaches them that that experience doesn't have to have a hold on them. any longer. And there's a lot of inner child work that's done in a session. So you're uncovering the hurts, you're uncovering the limiting beliefs, and then you're taking that inner child and you're nurturing it from who you are today because you have the availability, all the skills, all the the know-how to nurture that inner child in you.

9:22And you realize, wow, I don't need anybody to do this for me. I don't need my parents around me 24-7 anymore. I just need myself. I can do this for myself. So that's why it's just so helpful. It can be life-changing. And it really depends on the person and the path they're on. So I don't feel like I'm the vessel to bring this information and to help them. Sometimes people walk away and I don't hear from them again. And I don't really know what their journey is after that. And then other people come back. Other people refer more people. So everybody's on their journey. And I don't know if this is going to unlock things for them in that moment, or if they're going to remember it six months from now and say, now I'm ready.

10:11I don't know. I just, I'm with them during that hour and a half. And then whatever happens after that, they may come in again or again. And, you know, I just work with them for, I meet them where they are because everybody's different. And it's not an ego thing for me. It's not a victory or a loss. It's I'm there to help these people in whatever way I can.

10:34Heather Monahan:Like you said, one of the things that I really like about it is it's an alternative to traditional talk therapy, which can be very, that's a long journey. And I've done traditional talk therapy. I studied psychology in college. It's fantastic, but that's not something where you're gonna have a light bulb moment in an hour and a half session. We all know that. And again, it's not something to discourage people to do it. I'm all for it, but this is a very different, a shorter window to get some timely results if you're open-minded enough to do it. Now, I would imagine you do run into people who are not open-minded to the idea of hypnotherapy.

11:11Yes.

11:12Heather Monahan:If you don't want to be hypnotized, you won't be. It's just like anything. If your conscious mind does not want to take anything in, you're not going to. So you have to be open. So I don't take people who are referred by other people. Like if a parent wants their child to come and the child is not interested, I don't meet with those kids because nothing's going to happen. If I have a spouse referring their spouse and that spouse that comes in isn't interested. I mean, I checked these things before, but the person that is coming to me is usually at a point where sometimes they've tried all the therapy and nothing's changed, or they've had a friend that did hypnosis or they've heard about it and they're in pain.

11:56They're in a lot of pain and they want to get out of pain. And those are the people who have the best results. If you are in more pain and committed to changing or if you're not in pain, but you're committed to enhancing your life, you just want to exceed where you are today. That's another use of hypnosis too, just to empower yourself even more to embody your greatness. So that's another way. It doesn't have to be because you're in pain. It doesn't have to be because you're anxious. You can also just like, I just want to be, you know, even bigger and bolder than I am today. So that's another thing.

12:34But I do have a lot of teenagers and adults that come to me for confidence. And we do look at their past and see, are there some blocks? Are there some limiting beliefs that they're not worthy? They're not lovable, whatever. But I also give them a formula that's very practical for just applying in every day with confidence because with confidence, you have to put yourself out there no matter what. Like me doing this podcast, I haven't met with you before. So there's a little bit of anxiety. Now that anxiety I have to use and say, I'm going to use this anxiety and I'm going to do this podcast because I want to benefit from this.

13:16What is my benefit? Well, I want to be able to do more podcasts and I have to be able to put myself in this situation to then do the next one and the next one and the next one. I've got to build on that. So I'm going to be courageous and put myself in here instead of, you know, you know, sitting on my couch and eating bonbons, right? Because I could do that too. But this is how I'm going to use my time. So what I tell my clients is when you go into a situation that is nerve wracking for the first time, apply the formula. The formula is first you have to have hope. Let's apply it to a job interview.

13:54I want this job. So I go in, I have to have hope that I'm going to get the job. Then you add to that trust. I trust that I have the skills, I have the capability. So I know I can put myself in that position and trust that I will do a good job if I get that job. Now you divide that by humility because, because something could go wrong. We can't control everything and we have to be able to say, that's gonna be okay. I could go in and I could have my blouse on backwards and not realize it, right? But I'm just gonna laugh through that or whatever. It's humility. Now you take all of that times, courage.

14:36Courage is what you're using to get yourself to this next place. I wanna get this job. I'm gonna put myself in this position that is not comfortable for me because I want the next level. I want where that's going to take me. So if you apply that formula to anything in your life, and I gave this to a college soon to be graduate because he was going to be out there interviewing and all that. And so it was like, okay, I have something in my back pocket now. I have something that I can take with me and apply this concept into any situation I go into to give me that confidence. You know, it's nice to know that there are some real world formulas that you can count on and apply.

15:24And then, you know, it gives you confidence. That's where you get more confidence when you're applying the confidence formula.

15:33Heather Monahan:Meet a different guest each week.

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18:28Heather Monahan:I love that the work that you do really gets to these self-limiting beliefs because as you've mentioned before, it's great to take things on, but if you're struggling and really dealing with this idea that you aren't enough or, you know, that you aren't worthy, how are you really going to be able to get to that next level? And when we first met doing that virtual seminar that we were both a part of, one of the things that you did was you shared a tapping exercise and we did it, all of us live. And I know a lot of people were extremely emotional. I luckily have done tapping before for years of my life.

19:04Heather Monahan:So I knew I wouldn't be emotional, but I wanted to do it because I hadn't done it in a while. And Heather, it was so funny. I was going to speak literally minutes later on a live in-person stage in Orlando. And I was running out the door. I was kind of stressed out about, oh, I hope I have enough time to get over there. And then you took us through that tapping and it completely changed how I felt. And when I got to the event, it was funny. Someone backstage said to me, the opening speaker at the beginning of our conference was incredible. Don't you feel a little bit nervous following up after that guy?

19:38Heather Monahan:And sometimes maybe I would start getting a little nervous or sweaty. I had zero reaction. And I know for certain that is a result of the tapping work that we did right before I went over to the venue. And it really struck me because that's a different response. Typically, I would get a little nervous if someone was giving me a hard time like that, you know, I might start getting flustered or, or, or sweating a little bit, but none of that happened. And it was just, not only was powerful for me to see how everybody else at the event responded, you know, some people with tears and a lot of emotion, but that I thought, oh, I've done this a million times, no big deal.

20:16Heather Monahan:And here it was, it triggered me in a very positive way that I was able to, to get rid of any self-limiting beliefs that I had. Yeah, that's great. Well, because it calms down your nervous system and it brings you into the present moment. So when you're in the present moment and you're out of your head, you're not worried about the future and you're not thinking about the past because they don't exist anyway. So when you're getting ready to go on stage and you're not thinking about you're in your moment, you are breathing, you're in the present and you're walking up on that stage. If you're in your head thinking about the future, like, how am I going to do?

20:56Well, that's future thinking. And it's not real. It's not even real. It doesn't even exist. The only thing that exists is what you're doing in that moment. Breathing, getting yourself ready to go up there, to share what you have to share, to connect with the people in the audience. That's real time. That's all we have. And that's all you had in that moment. And you are connected to it. So you took yourself out of that future anxious thinking and you were in your power. And so you probably went up there and did a fantastic job because you were embodied in that moment. You were feeling who you were at that time.

21:37And when you're connected to yourself, you can be connected to your audience. If you're in your head thinking about how am I doing, you're not connected to yourself and you can't connect to the people out there. And it's obvious because we've all seen speakers who, you know, it's like you just don't get the same reaction when you, you know, you don't feel the same about them. You feel like they're just kind of not there. Maybe they're thinking about their script. And then you have other speakers who they're in the zone. They're in the flow like an athlete where it's real time. That's all they have is the now.

22:11They're just it's like a download. They're getting a spiritual download. You know, they're just they're creating in the second as they're talking. There's a big difference when you see people like that.

22:22Heather Monahan:There's a huge difference. And we all see it in business. We see it in meetings at the office when someone has to stand up to speak to lead something. And they're thinking ahead or thinking what other people are thinking of them or doubting themselves versus just speaking their truth. There is a profound difference. So I'm hoping that you'd be willing to take us through that example of how we can do. And I'll also mention the style of tapping that you taught me that day was different than the way I had done it in the past. And it was incredibly powerful. Great. Well, I taught everyone faster tapping.

22:56So I guess because everybody's in such a hurry, which is, you know, just the way the world is right now. Faster tapping is just as effective as the longer version and just as powerful. And it's easier, I think, to learn and to teach. And so it's good for this kind of a venue. So really, all we're doing is we are tapping the meridian points, the acupuncture points in the body, and we are making verbal statements at the same time. So tapping has its roots in modern psychology and the ancient Chinese medicine of acupuncture, acupressure. so just to start everybody out what we would do is tap on five points the five points are in between the eyebrow outside of the eyebrow under the eyebrow the soft part of the collarbone and then we're going to keep repeating that as we say the statements and I'll just kind of give you an idea of what statements we're going to run through and then at the very end you hold your wrist, either wrist, and you breathe in and out, and you say peace.