Confidence Classic: Break Free From NEGATIVITY and Start Moving Forward with Heather!

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0:46Heather Monahan:Right now, save 25 % on your first order at Zazzle.com. That's 25 % savings on your first order at Zazzle.com. Go make something amazing. amazing zazzle.com you haven't met all the people you're going to meet yet you haven't met all the champions that are going to be there and stand up for you yet you haven't met all the people that will love you in your life start putting yourself into the uncertain start taking the call pick up when you do have connections to good people lean into those good people because they're going to know other good people the magic of in person is undeniable irrefutable big things happen when you're in person.

1:23Heather Monahan:You start making magic happen because you're in the room. Get in the room. Take the chance. Let this be your sign. You need to go for it. You need to invest in you and get in some different rooms. I'm so grateful I made this trip. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close up. Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed.

2:04Heather Monahan:I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so if you've been with me week in and week out, you know that last week, I had an incredible opportunity to go to a special private Maxwell leadership, John Maxwell event with 17 other people. And I had no idea what to expect. It was funny. So much is who we surround ourselves with. So pause for a minute and think about, you know, obviously the person you're married to or in a relationship with is the most important because that person has the most influence on you day in and day out.

2:42Heather Monahan:And then besides that person, the people you work with that you spend a lot of time with or your closest friends, right? Those people impact the way you think, the opportunities that are presented to you, the doors that open or are not opened and so much else. It reminds me so much of my book, Overcome Your Villains. The key and most important thing is to get negative people out of your life. get people who are trying to hold you back out of your life and get around the rooms and the people that are ahead of you, that want to stretch you, that want to encourage you, that want to pour into you and want to love on you.

3:16Heather Monahan:And if you haven't met those people yet, I want you to know the best is yet to come. There are better days ahead. And the minute you start removing the negative people, you make space for those positive people to show up. So that journey for me started five years ago when I was fired and I had been surrounded by some really negative people that wanted to hold me back, wanted me to play small and did everything they could to try to make that happen. What a blessing and gift it was to be fired and get thrust into a totally different space. Suddenly positive people started showing up for me. And it was like a domino effect over the last five years.

3:54Heather Monahan:So many incredible people have shown up into my life that I didn't know even just a couple years ago. One of them is my friend Jordan that actually got me connected to Maxwell Leadership and then got on this invite. So I had one good friend that was going to be there at this event. And the funny thing is, and I think I told you this last week, for the last couple of years, I've been speaking at conferences all over, many virtual, now much more in person. But this was going to be the first time I was attending a conference. And I hadn't done that in years, Right. It's so different to go into a venue in one way, one perspective.

4:30Heather Monahan:Right. You're being paid to be there as a speaker. You have pre-calls. You know what to expect. You see the agenda, the itinerary. You're all behind the scenes and you're all, you know, coached up on what the goals are. This was different attending. Right. So it was super exciting. I didn't know what to expect. Of course, it's new. So there's some fear. I didn't know the other 17 people in the room at all. and it was definitely, you know, exciting. I guess there's a fine line between fear and excitement. I always choose to lean into excitement. And so I went, not even knowing what clothes were the right clothes to bring, right?

5:06Heather Monahan:I brought a few different outfits because I thought, you know, geez, it's in Orlando. It's this huge conference hall. Is everybody gonna be in business suits, right? I think about these things ahead of time. Are people gonna be wearing jeans? Should I wear a dress? So I just brought a bunch of different options, jumped on a plane and went, having no idea what to expect. And the first night we got there, it was incredible. I literally have to tell you, these two days changed me for the better. And if you ever think about investing in yourself and, you know, buying a ticket to something, let me encourage you to do it because this was incredible, life-changing.

5:41Heather Monahan:And I saw after the event, after our event wrapped, ours was a two day event. The event opened up to thousands of people, right? And they had a three-day event with thousands and thousands of people. And I saw all the social media and so many people's lives were changed, not just mine, right? You didn't have to be in the small group to have a life changing situation going down in Orlando at Maxwell leadership. It definitely thousands of people were on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, posting about how life changing John Maxwell is and Maxwell leadership. So invest in yourself, take the leap, get your, get in those rooms with good people that are ahead of you that will encourage you.

6:19Heather Monahan:And if you're not right now, that's okay. They are out there. These people exist. You maybe just haven't met them yet. And so this was a one of a kind, unique, life-changing experience for me. I can't say that enough. It was just so positive, so unexpected, and so incredible. And I want to remind you that not only are those people out there for you, you can be that person for people as well. You know, that was one of the messages that I walked away with was, you know, servant leadership is such a big part of who John Maxwell is and who Maxwell leadership is as a team. I saw it firsthand how they pour into others, poured into me, poured into everyone, give, give and give.

6:58Heather Monahan:But they were still regular, cool, fun, smart people, right? It was nothing short of amazing. That's what I will tell you is nothing short of amazing. So, okay. So the first night we get there, I only know my one friend and he had already gotten there earlier in the day. So I walk into a venue to a room with 20 people that I don't know, except for my friend. And I sit down and the conversation's already going and they're kind of round tabling. The Maxwell leadership people are there and they're talking about, all right, everyone had to introduce themselves. Everyone had to break down, you know, what challenge are you currently facing?

7:35Heather Monahan:Essentially be really vulnerable in a room of 20 people, very intimate that you don't know at all, right? And I mean, a few of the people knew a couple of people, but no one knew everyone. So everyone was kind of in the same boat and you had to share who you are, what your deal is, what you do. And there was everyone from CEOs, there was a lot of speakers there. There were a lot of pastors there of massive churches. You know, it was like a mixed group of leaders in different niches in business and in life, but everyone had a tremendous amount of success in some arena, you know, Whether they were an author or a speaker or a pastor or a CEO, they had established a great deal of respect throughout the room just by reading the bio.

8:16Heather Monahan:There was NFL players there. I mean, it was crazy. So I jump into this and sit down. And of course, I'm a little nervous because I'm thinking, oh, my gosh, what am I going to say? Right. You know, in those moments, you have to open up and be vulnerable because that's the only way you're going to get through a situation like that. And when you're with a group at a really high level, you don't want to be the one that holds back. That's not going to add value to anyone. No, you want to lean into that fear. You want to be a leader in a room full of leaders. And that's what I was trying to say to myself in my mind.

8:49Heather Monahan:And then, you know, some people started crying and sharing such vulnerable family stuff that they were going through. It was the first time in my life that I sat in a room of people. It was the majority were men. There was three women there that were talking about how important their marriage is to them and how they wanted to better their marriage and asking questions and for support. How can I be a better husband? I am not used to being around groups of guys like that. I haven't I didn't grow up like that. And, you know, it was not the guys I hung out with. So it was so warming and incredible.

9:24Heather Monahan:And it just made me realize that 48, I'm meeting new people that are unlike anybody else I've ever met before. That's amazing. Right. So you're not, you haven't met all the people you're going to meet yet. You haven't met all the champions that are going to be there and stand up for you yet. You haven't met all the people that will love you in your life. Because I just met a whole new crew that I'm so grateful I met and so excited about and so encouraged about. It opened my eyes to what else is out there in the world, which I wasn't aware of previously. So if that happened for me, and I tell you, I have traveled all over this country for 25 years for work and have been to so many conferences, events, meetings, and met thousands and thousands of people.

10:06Heather Monahan:If I hadn't met these kind of people, let me tell you, there's a really good chance you haven't met those right people for you yet, too. So be open minded. Start showing up for events. Start putting yourself into the uncertain. Start taking the call. Pick up. When someone asks for you to go to something, go. I was wondering when I first got the invite to this because I wasn't paid to go to this. So I thought, well, this is weird. I'm going to a speaking event and I'm not getting paid. But then I thought about the person who was asking me to do it. And this guy is such a wonderful human being. I said, I don't care.

10:35Heather Monahan:I'm just going to blindly. I'll figure it out. I'll cancel my two days. I'm going to figure it out and just go because I believe in that person so much. So when you do have connections to good people, lean into those good people because they're going to know other good people. And that's really what this was a testament to. is that one great person introduced me to this onslaught of amazing people that now I have a really tight bond with and relationship. And I'll tell you, after a couple of years of virtual, being in person with people for two days straight, the way that we were in that tight proximity and those vulnerability groups in this leadership conversations, it was spectacular.

11:14Heather Monahan:And people got so close so fast versus, you know, over the internet or on the phone or on text, it takes, longer. It just does. The magic of in-person is undeniable, irrefutable. Get in person. Big things happen when you're in person. You change, exchange cell numbers, opportunities present themselves. You start talking about who you can connect someone else with. You start making magic happen because you're in the room. Get in the room. Take the chance. Let this be your sign. You need to go for it. You need to invest in you and get in some different rooms. I'm so grateful I made this trip.

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13:14Heather Monahan:Client experiences will vary. That was the beginning of that first afternoon. And then from there we went to, so that meeting was incredible. People were crying. They were being so real, so vulnerable. We became close so fast. I knew so much about this group of people so quickly because people open their hearts. The most vulnerable person wins, right? When you open your heart, you allow others to feel that love, to feel that vulnerability, and they give it right back to you and they encourage you and stand by you. And I just, it was a domino effect that was incredible. So we went from there to, we went to dinner with John Maxwell and it was just us and John Maxwell, which is so cool.

13:58Heather Monahan:I had never met him before. He not only is he, you know, one of the most famous speakers, authors in the world right now, but he is so unique and so different. And anytime you're going to meet someone super famous like this, you never know what you're going to get, right? Because there are some people I've had on the podcast that I will just be honest with you when I met them in real life. I was, they did not seem like the people that they seem like on their social media brand or whatever, right? Then there's most, I will say the majority are the real deal, but there, there are always a few that are not.

14:30Heather Monahan:And it's kind of a disappointment when that happens. John Maxwell does not disappoint. He walked, he didn't, I don't think he ate the whole night. He walked the room and had meaningful private conversations with each person, including your girl right here. He called me Miami, which was so funny. And that's what he called me for, for the two days I was there. It cracked me up, but he was just so cool and so engaged and present that that's, he was really listening to you. He put his arm on every person as he stood with them and spoke with them. He pulled up a chair and sat next to you. I mean, it was just so warm and genuine.

15:06Heather Monahan:And he's funny, sarcastic, regular, cool, smart guy, like just not standoffish, not fake, calling it out. Just, it was incredible. Just mind blowing. And I saw why this man, you know, has sold millions and millions of books and has thousands and thousands of people at his venues and events and coaches in his program. And, you know, he cares. And it It really seems like that bedrock and foundation for him is servant leadership. And he's so committed to giving back the amount of work this man is doing in the world, not even just in our country, but in the world is incredible. It made me feel like I'm asleep at the wheel, like I am not doing anything.

15:48Heather Monahan:Here is this icon so much older than I am. And he's exhausting himself, literally working nonstop, getting up at five in the morning and working till, you know, whatever, midnight every night doing these events. because he wants to change the world and he wants to be a bright light in a dark space. And he is, right? He's changing school systems and their programs are going into school systems to help children in different countries. And just, it's so exhilarating and it challenges you to think bigger and go bigger and do more when you give yourself the opportunity to be in a room with someone like this.

16:26Heather Monahan:So that was one of the really big things is that I'm not doing enough. There's more out there. If this man can do what he's doing at his age, I need to giddy up and get moving, sister. Like, let's go. We need to try a little harder. We need to put ourselves out there more. We need to go bigger. We need to go for more. We need to start living God's plan, not just our small plan that's trying to keep us safe. We need to step into bigger because we can do better and we can change the world, just like he is doing right now. And what an incredible leader he is showing all of us that. Okay, so that was the second part of the first day.

17:00Heather Monahan:Then we went from there to he did a book signing for all of us. And they gave us the books, the 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication, which, oh my gosh, then he did a talk for us, a keynote speech for us, which was, okay, so first of all, you get to do a picture with him, and he autographs your book. And I mean, the guy is such a pro. He remembered everyone's name. I mean, it's incredible how present and how much attention he pays and how funny he is, how cool he is. And so it was just so fun to hang out with him. And then after we did the book signing and took pictures with him, we all sat down and he took the stage to give his keynote on his new book, The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication.

17:42Heather Monahan:And it was like a master class in how to sell a book. It was incredible. Now, one of the funny things is I speak all over. And when I'm speaking, I definitely know one of the memorable things people say to me after speech is my energy is incredible. Well, partially part of that is I get myself super hyped up, jumping up and down. I'm all over a stage. Like I am out there, right? I'm like, my arms are up. I'm like moving up everywhere. What was so cool about John Maxwell, and I had never seen this done, at least not successfully until now, he sat that entire speech. He gave a keynote to an audience in the dark, basically, where you'd think people would fall asleep.

18:26Heather Monahan:People were riveted. And he sat in a chair the whole time. So his power is so massive that he can do it so differently than anyone else. He doesn't have to jump up and down backstage like I do and, you know, be a maniac physically on the stage. He just does it with the power of his words. And he was very thoughtful in his pauses. He took so many pauses. It was captivating. It was almost like watching an actor. And what's cool about that is there's so many different ways to be successful. And I want you to remember this. Success doesn't look one way, right? I can get a standing ovation at a speech by jumping up and down and imparting knowledge.

19:09Heather Monahan:in my unique way, he got a standing ovation, sitting down the entire time, taking massive pauses, like these dramatic pauses, which is very different than what I do and very different than anything I had ever seen from a speaker, right? I saw Jesse Itzler lately was bringing basically a DJ on onto his keynotes with him, right? He has a totally different approach. So success doesn't have to look just one way. I think it's great to expose yourself to different successful people, the different ways they do it, and then start allowing your creativity to start flowing and thinking like, well, they do that and they found success.

19:45Heather Monahan:What's some different ways that I could do it? How could I make this look different? You know, what could success look like for me? Just don't get stuck in that idea that, you know, if Oprah Winfrey's the number one female speaker, I need to do it just like Oprah. No, you don't. And this just reminded me of it. And I don't need to sit the whole time like John Maxwell does. That's his thing, right? I don't feel compelled or drawn to do that. So that's not my thing right now. And that's okay. Be you. Don't be a B-rate version of someone else. So I was definitely reminded about how unique John was and how different his speaking engagement was.

20:20Heather Monahan:So different than anything I'd ever seen, but so powerful and so captivating and literally a masterclass on how to sell a book. He had everyone dying to get into that book and read it. I couldn't wait to get back to my hotel room to go through the actual content because he teased it in such dramatic and interesting way. It was really powerful. So if you haven't seen John speak before, I highly encourage you go to one of his events. It was just, it was really mind blowing. So very different, very unique, very present and very thoughtful. And the other thing I'll say is he definitely rehearsed. We tend to think that when people become this successful, or at least I tend to think this, they don't have to practice anymore.

21:04Heather Monahan:He definitely had worked hard at rehearsing. It was very orchestrated. And that reminded me of my pastors, right? And I talk a lot about Voo Church and how incredible our pastors are there. They work so hard every single week at their sermon. And John Maxwell's a preacher as well and was talking about that's what gave him a start was preaching. So again, success can look totally different for everybody, but there are some commonalities. And one is putting the reps and practicing, practicing time and time again, exposing yourself to other talented people that are different than you. So you can learn and pick up ideas and open your mind to what different and better can look like.

21:45Heather Monahan:So no matter where you are, it doesn't have to be speaking. It can be anything. Make sure you're exposing yourself to other great people in that same line of work or in different lines of work, but people that are excelling so that you can get ideas that can help you innovate in your business, help you grow in your business. Okay. So while we were there during all of this, my friend that was the one basically that connected me into this program looks at me and says, I've got a problem. And I said, what's going on? And he said, I forgot my deodorant. And I said, okay, don't worry. I'll take care of it.

22:17Heather Monahan:He said, no, you can't leave. This is John Maxwell's event. We can't walk out. I said, I'm not leaving. Don't worry. And I share this story with you because I believe so often people just think, oh gosh, there's no store in this private John Maxwell event. I'm screwed and I just have to not have deodorant. No, here's what I want you to know. No matter where you are at any point in time, there is always a solution. I live my life like that. I'm always looking for the solution. Don't look for the obstacle. Do not spend your time looking for the obstacle, looking around and saying, there's no store in here to buy deodorant.

22:53Heather Monahan:Spend your time saying, how can I find a way to bring deodorant to me? So it took me about 60 seconds to look around the room. I found one of the servers and I said, I've got a 911 emergency. Can you please get me the head of the event or the event manager and have them come over to me when you have a chance? Right away, the event manager came over and I said, listen, I've got a problem. I forgot my deodorant. I just wasn't going to say it was my friend just, you know, to be kind. And I said, I really need your help. Can you please help me to get deodorant immediately? immediately, number one.

23:27Heather Monahan:And number two, can you try fast because this thing, the ship's going down. And so this woman was so kind and she said, oh my gosh, absolutely. We actually have a store on, you know, floor five. I will have one of our runners that's going up there anyways, to get food on the same floor, stop by and purchase deodorant. I gave the lady$20, done. A couple minutes later, there's a bottle of deodorant on the table. The only mistake I made was I didn't tell her it wasn't for me, that it was for a man. So my poor friend got a nice bottle of women's secret deodorant that he got to put on at the venue.

24:01Heather Monahan:But I share that story with you because I just want you to know it's possible. Anything is possible, anywhere you are in any situation. So the next time you're confronted with, oh gosh, you know, I've got this problem or I can't find a solution for this. Stop focusing on the problem. Start focusing on the solution in that minute and start asking for help, asking questions and start looking around. Open your mind to the possibility. And I promise you, you will find one. I'll never forget a few years ago, I'd taken my son to the NBA All-Star Game and we were at the dunk competition. We were in Toronto.

24:32Heather Monahan:It was like negative 25 degrees, the coldest place I've ever been in my life. It was him and I alone and my phone had died. We were staying at a hotel that was probably a 25 minute drive away. I had booked a car service, but when we went outside the stadium, we walked out and there was 800 black cars out there. I mean, the place was so packed. It was insane. And my phone was dead. So I didn't know how to find our car. First world problems. I know, but it was scary. It was late at night. I had my little boy with me. We're alone in a city. I don't know. We don't have any friends there. Right. And I know I've got to get this kid out of here.