Confidence Classic: The Art of CONNECTION (Why Serving First Changes Everything) with Jordan Montgomery

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1:07And who can I serve this week? I think over time, you wake up in a world where you created so much impact, but you've also created a ton of opportunity and you have all these relationships. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed.

1:42I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet my guest this week. Wait a minute. You've met him before. This is Jordan Montgomery. He's the owner of Montgomery Company's highly regarded performance coach, keynote speaker, whose clients include businesses, executives, sales organizations, and entrepreneurs. From a small town in Iowa to a dominant force in the performance coaching industry, Jordan travels the country speaking and coaching executives at Fortune 500 companies, professional athletes, and salespeople. In addition to his work speaking and coaching, Jordan is an accomplished business leader who has managed top performing sales teams in the financial services industry.

2:21He resides in Tippin, Iowa with his wife, Ashley, his son, McCoy. I thought it was Mac. Wait, have I been calling your baby the wrong name all the time? And his three daughters, Audrey, Claire, and Olivia. When he's not writing, coaching, or speaking, Jordan spends time with his family and enjoys the outdoors. He is a lover of sports and all things Iowa Hawkeyes. Jordan, thanks for coming back on the show. Heather, thank you for having me. And you know what? I just appreciate your friendship. And like, you've just been such a dear friend. And so it's fun when you get a podcast with someone that you just genuinely want to catch up with and hang out with anyway.

2:57So fun that we get to hang out. And you've been such a good friend to me and Ashley. And we just appreciate you. Oh, my gosh. Sadly, we don't get to record all of our conversations for the podcast. We would have much better ratings. All right. But listen, here's what I want to get into today. You shocked me. Okay, guys, listening. First of all, I met Jordan. Jordan and I met through David Nurse, who another guest on the show connected us. Oh, my gosh, a while ago now, back when people didn't see people in real life. So we got to know each other and establish a friendship over the computer, never having met in real life.

3:30And then just a couple of months ago, we finally ripped the Band-Aid, met in real life. I didn't know if you were going to be four foot tall or six foot tall. I didn't know what to expect. And I was so excited. if you guys haven't been going to in-person events, like now is the time to do it. It is pure magic getting to be with people after a couple of years of this isolation. But, you know, getting to hang out with you in real life. I thought I was going there doing you some big favor because I'm such a social media influencer or whatever. And I'm like, oh, that's so nice of me. This is literally what I, guys, this is so embarrassing that I tell you my true story like this, but I'm really thinking to myself, oh, I'm so nice.

4:11I love Jordan. He's such a great friend. love Ashley, love their family, do anything for them. They want me to go to this event. Yes, I will go. Never having been to a Maxwell, anything in my life, didn't know what to expect. Walked in there and literally, guys, and I've already said this, I was blown away by John Maxwell's event. Maxwell leadership team, by him, by Jordan, by the crew we got to run with for the time we were out there. The incredible people, the men with the vulnerability, crying in the room, talking about how much they love their wives. I'm talking about God in business. I've never, ever been a part of something like that.

4:48Literally changed me forever and just elevated the bar on my expectations for people and reminded me, power and proximity is a real thing. It can change your life and the people you surround yourself with, not only on your day-to-day, but also on who you choose to go hang with, even for an event, can be game-changing. So I just want to say, I'm so thankful that you got me there, you invited me there. and I'm the lucky one. So how do you get invited to these things? First off, shout out, yeah, Maxwell Leadership, John Maxwell, and shout out Chad Johnson. It was kind of his idea. I mean, so I was having a conversation with Chad, who's the right hand to John, has been chief of staff with John for a long time, dear friend of both of ours now, Chad Johnson.

5:30And we were talking about John pouring into the next generation of leaders. And so the behind the scenes on that one is Chad said, well, what if we invited some leaders to a Maxwell leadership event to pour into the next generation. But here's what's so cool about John Maxwell. Instead of that being a way to generate more revenue and sell tickets and get more people to buy and increase revenue, John extended an invite via Chad. They found a sponsor to pay for us to be there. And we're going to run it back again and do the same thing all over again in August. And you're going to be there and I'm going to be there and it's going to be great.

6:03So I think there's an abundance. There's an attitude of an abundance with John and their team. How do I get to be there? I don't know. I feel lucky too just to know Chad Johnson. You're so good. We're going to talk today about connections and building relationships. You're so good at adding value to people. I don't know that I deserve to be in that room. I don't know that I deserve to know John or Chad. I just try to be intentional about adding value where I can. And sometimes I can add value, sometimes I can't. But where I can add value, I want to be intentional. And so I think that's just an echo.

6:31Those opportunities are an echo of the value that you provide. And sometimes the echo is big and sometimes it's small. But I think if you live in a way that you're serving, you're adding value, I think those things just kind of naturally happen to people who are focused on adding value to others. And you do that so well. Like you're doing that, I think, at the highest level. And so you're quick to give away credit. But I think that's been an MO for you and how you've led your life and how you've grown your business. For sure, that's been part of your MO. Meet a different guest each week. I'm not a team.

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9:42Your care stays consistent and evidence-based. Head to talkiatry.com slash confidence and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's talkiatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes. I ask you to try to find your passion. Lead with values first. That is the key. Too many people, and this happens with the podcast, guys, all the time. I get so many requests to be on the show and I'll get an email like this teed up. Hey, Heather, really want to be on your show. I'm unbelievable at blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When do you have time to interview me?

10:24A hard pass right to the trash. I don't care who that email came from. It's going right in the trash. However, I'll have someone show up on email to me say, Hey, Heather, here's a picture of the review. I just left your show. I listened to Jordan Montgomery's episode and here's the three takeaways I took that I really loved it. So telling me they're actually consuming my content. They actually care. They get that. They told me what they liked about something that we did. They gave me a review, which was thoughtful and kind and took time. I'm going to go read that email. Then they talked to me about how they could add value to my listeners, how they can add value to me.

10:56That's adding value to me. Heather, I have never heard you do a show on blah, blah, blah. Here's how I think your listeners can benefit from learning this. And here's some of the giveaways that I'll provide for your listeners, doing more for my listeners. When you bring value to others, it comes back to you. So, so crazy. Two quick examples. And this is like, I hijacked my own show. I bring people on my show and then I interview myself. Okay, perfect. So two quick examples. Back in 2018, I had written Confidence Creator, didn't know what I was doing, pitching myself everywhere to sell books. BNY Mellon says, yeah, we'll buy a bunch of books.

11:32It wasn't a lot of money. They said, we need you to come in and do a talk for this women's group. Yeah, sure. I'll do it. I go, I show up, I killed it. Like I, I made this thing big for them and I wasn't making a lot of money. I didn't do it for the money. I did it because I knew I need to build something. And I wanted the message of confidence creator out there. Wouldn't you know, I didn't know it at the time. And this is why guys keep showing up and just believe, believe in yourself, believe in doing good. And those doors will open cut to five years later, I'm at a dinner, a technology dinner in Miami last week with a bunch of CEOs and founders I don't know.

12:05A really good friend of mine orchestrated this dinner. So it was cool. I'm meeting people from all different industries. You know, I don't know anyone. And all of a sudden, the founder of Emerge Americas, which is one of the largest conferences in Miami, Tom Brady headlined it this year. It's huge. Walks over to me, extends her hand and says, I don't think you remember me, do you? And I said, I don't. I'm Heather Monahan. I'm introducing myself. She reintroduces herself, says, you spoke at BNY Mellon Women's event five years ago, blew me away. I completely forgot you lived here. I'm wondering, could I get you to keynote next year?

12:44And I'm thinking, that lady wouldn't know who I am. Otherwise, if I hadn't shown up at that small event that I really wasn't making any money for, now the only misstep is I should have been at the one with Tom Brady this year. But we're going to go ahead and we'll figure that out. All right, cut to another example that just happened yesterday. I was headlining an event for an MLM last year in Orlando. They did the event with me. It went great. I left. They called me a week later and said, we have a virtual event we're supposed to be doing. Our keynote speaker just bailed on us, got sick or something.

13:16Is there any way you can jump in? It's nowhere near the money that you get paid. But I love the people. They were so great. I'm like, you know, I'm team you. Let's do it. I jump in, I take whatever they give me. Wouldn't you know that woman ends up leaving that company, goes to another MLM. Last night on DMs, she's messaging me, hey, just took over a huge new company. We'd love to have you come in and headline our keynote this year. My point being, if you work with good people, you show up and go the extra mile for them. You never know when they're gonna open that next door or how they're gonna pay it forward, but don't you believe it always comes back tenfold?

13:53Always comes back tenfold. but I think if you expect it to come back tenfold, it changes everything. You know when somebody is serving to serve and then when they're serving to get something in return and if you're serving to get something in return, it's not serving. Like it actually, you just completely take away from the value that you're adding. So I don't know, I'm guilty of that, right? I think we all are on some level where maybe there's been a moment or a conversation where you say, hey, I love to help with this but your motives might not be pure. In other words, you want to help with something because you're hopeful that that person then helps you.

14:27You can't be doing good. Sometimes when I ask Gary V's partner if I could help him develop a strategy for launching his wine brand, I have hoped in the end he would help me get to Gary. I didn't know if he would. It wasn't a guarantee he ended up doing it for me. But I was hopeful, but I wasn't expecting. And I think that's okay to be hopeful. I think it's totally okay to be hopeful. It just isn't okay to be expected. Like, I did this for you, therefore I'm going to get you. No, no, no. And then we'll feel the disappointment. Gosh, that person didn't do anything back for me. It's like, well, then that wasn't really service.

14:59So okay to be hopeful. Just don't be expectant. But I also think here's one thing you're good at that I want listeners to hear. I think there's two things. I think number one is slowing down the conversation about service. So how many times do we say something like, hey, love to serve, love to help you? Like, it's like, we just, those are like throwaway comments that we use in everyday conversation. you're good at like slowing people down and saying like, hey, I really want to help you. Like, let me give you my heart behind the matter. Or let me give you some additional thoughts. Like you've done that with me time and time and time again, where you're like, hey, I really want to help you.

15:35And then here's the second part of it, get specific. And I want to help you in these areas. Or I think I can add value to you in these areas. So specificity, and then slowing it down, helps somebody to feel like, wow, Heather is being genuine and like service. Like she means it. This isn't a throwaway comment. Like she's giving me her heart behind the matter and she's getting specific with me and the ways in which she wants to serve her help. Those two things are a complete game changer. Cause I used to say all the time to people like who are on our podcast, I'd say, Hey, Heather, if there's anything I need to help you or support you, I'm all in, I'm in your corner.

16:09Let me know how I can help. And what do people say to that? They always say, okay, sounds good. you know, I'll think about that and we'll talk down the road. We changed that. And now we say, look, our company, our team has made a decision to serve the 50 guests that we'll interview on our podcast this year. We're really committed to that. I think there's some specific ways that I could add value to you and to serve you. So if something hits you right now where you're like, I got a book or a project, or I need this specific connection, then let's talk about that. But I also want to give you permission just to sit on that, think about it and get back to me in the coming days on one way that the Montgomery companies could come alongside you, serve you, add value and help you.

16:48We mean it. We're excited about that. And I really want to serve you this year. Now somebody feels like, okay, there's a strategy. They shared their heart behind the matter. They're intentional. They're getting specific. So if you're listening to this and you're thinking, well, Heather makes it seem so easy, like, you know, she adds value and doors just open wide. Well, it's because of specificity and it's because you slow down to share your heart behind the matter. When we started doing those two things, everything changed in terms of the opportunities that got created and the impact that comes with it along the way.

17:21And you're good at that. You can speak to that because that's something you do so well when you serve and when you reach out to help people. Do you see it that way? Or are you just like, no, that's just who I am and I've never really slowed down to think about how I do that. Yeah, no, I don't really slow down and think about how I do a lot of stuff, right? I just show up. But I've been connecting those dots recently, thinking about the same things that made me successful in corporate are the same things that make me successful as an entrepreneur. And really, it's about creating community and allies and contacts of people that you're elevating and helping and connecting.

17:57And then they're out there spinning up that same stuff for you. Like, again, back to really just being around good, like-minded people who, you know, are willing to help others, want to do good, and being aligned with people like that. When you're around people like that, I don't know. It's just, I find it so easy to help somebody else because I trust, right? Like, I trust that if I'm going to connect someone with you, they're going to love you. You always do the right thing. You're always working, you know, towards good. And if I'm around people like that, people I trust, it's so easy to open doors and connect other people.

18:30But, you know, the first time you and I met when I did your show, I was a guest on your podcast. At the end, you said to me, I'll never forget, we were off air. You guys, the best conversations happen off air. I need to do a show just of the off air. Stuff is so good. But you said to me when we got off air, you're like, listen, Brene Brown is out there killing it. I'm going to do everything that I can to get you to that level because you deserve to be at that level. And I thought, oh, no one had ever said, I say that to myself all the time, but nobody else had said that to me. Right. And I'm like, oh, my, I love that you gave me like this genuine compliment.

19:06I could tell you were passionate about helping others. I love anyone. And you mentioned there aren't enough women out on big stages. And I'd like to play a role in advocating for you. And you've done it. So the connections you've made for me, I mean, it have been incredible. So again, back to serving first, you know, and being honest, noticing, always complimenting people with an honest compliment. That's an easy way to make a connection very quickly. That helped me huge on the Steve Harvey show when I was like the one guy that didn't belong there. Giving an honest compliment to another person made a fast connection, allowed people to start smiling.

19:40So always lead with an honest compliment and do your homework ahead of time on people. So you can see the ways that you could benefit them, that you could help them, and that maybe that you may already have connections in common. So good. And here's the thing. This, the art of what we're talking about here doesn't get taught. And so I would love to get a little bit practical here because here's what I think happens. We teach sales. We teach communication. Teaching like the art of promotion or teaching connection. People just say, oh, go connect or go promote or go serve. But it's like, okay, well, then, well, how do I do that?

20:13Like, what are the steps? What do I do? What do I not do? And so I think teaching that, like, again, there's things that you do so naturally. Here's three things that you do really well. I was thinking about this before we talked, because I know we're going to have this conversation today. There's three things that Heather Monahan does, and you probably don't know that you do this, but any like world-class connector communicator, anybody who has a lot of relationships is probably doing all three of these things really well. Number one is you promote people. So this is obvious, like even on your social media brand.

20:42A lot of people post a lot on social media, right? Like, oh, I'm building my brand and they're sharing all their own content and they're posting stuff and they're consistent and they're intentional, but they never comment on anybody else's posts and they never share anybody else's content. You are constantly sharing other people's content. You're commenting, you're encouraging, you're checking in, like you're advocating for people. So you're building a brand, whereas a lot of other people are building a brochure. If you're only posting your own stuff and you're expecting people to come to you and build relationships.

21:12It's like, you're not building a brand, you're building a brochure, the only stuff you ever post is about you. And you never take the time to comment or share. Like you're constantly commenting on our stuff and sharing and you're an advocate and you're an encourager. So like, one is I think you promote people really well too, is I think you connect like crazy, like you're always trying to find good people who deserve to know each other. We've said it this way that connecting people are connected people. Like if you want to get more connected, start connecting. And you're great at that. And I think you connect people to people, I also think you connect people to opportunities.

21:43So you just randomly say like, hey, here's a thing that's going on. You should be a part of this. And I'd like to think we do that too, where it's like, hey, there's this event that's coming up, but you should be a part of this or you should drop in on this or, hey, I want to make you aware. David Nurse does that. You do that. Brad Lominick does that. The best connectors that I know are always trying to connect people to people and people to opportunities. We were just talking about a couple opportunities offline. One of them I think we're going to talk about here in a bit more specific way with John Gordon and Pat Lencioni, which is part of the reason we're having this conversation today.

22:15And then the third thing you do we just talked about is serving. You know, this idea that like living is giving and you're trying to find ways to serve and add value. You're hopeful, but you're not expecting that it will create impact and opportunity. But I think if you do those three things, I think if you ask yourself a question every Monday or once a week, it's like, OK, who could I promote this week? Who could I connect this week and who could I serve this week? I think over time, you wake up in a world where you created so much impact, but you've also created a ton of opportunity and you have all these relationships.

22:45That's been your story and your journey over the course of your life. And I think you naturally do that. You promote, you connect, and you serve. But nobody slows that down to talk about it, to teach it, to train on it. I'd love to hear what you have to say about that because you're teaching, you're training, you're living this out. Do you think that gets overlooked? Like the art of connection and the art of promotion? Don't you feel like that needs to be taught more often? Yeah, absolutely. Or not. Maybe that that's how we keep that's our unique value proposition. I want to own that. No, we're sitting here breaking it down for you because I want everyone to own it.