Confidence Classic: The One TRUTH to Elevate Your Mind, Unlock Your Power, & Heal Your Soul with Jon Gordon 15x Best Selling Author & Thought Leader

23:00You're in a low state, he was in a low state and it didn't go well, but it's never the circumstance. It's our state of mind. And that's a big part of the book. When you understand this, that is a game changer because in one moment you have a high state, you're fine. The circumstance happens and you rise above it. When you're in a low state, same circumstance happens and you don't handle it well and you wind up fighting. So this happens all the time. And the key is to understand high state of mind, low state of mind, and understand it's never the circumstance. It's our state of mind that moment.

23:30So when Eric and Jimmy were going at it, they were just both in a low state at that time. It didn't mean anything was really wrong. They had a little bit of an outburst. I'm sure they got together. You have an honest conversation. You You have a meaningful conversation. And then from there, you find greater connection. And then you walk away as one team. I had a coach and a Super Bowl, incredible player, quarterback, right? Struggling during the year a little bit. Got together, had a heart to heart about their fears, the expectations, what the world was looking for, what the world was expecting, fear of not meeting those expectations.

24:08Got together, talked it out. from that moment on, they were now one team working together. And then they wind up doing amazing things, win a Superbowl as a coach and as a, as a quarterback. So that's the power of those kinds of moments of, of coming together after maybe a fight. But I think what happens so often is you have a bad moment. You have a bad game. You have a bad sales call. What happens with a bad sales call? Okay. You have one bad sales call. You're in a low state of mind. It doesn't go well. You get rejected. If you're in a low state, now you start going, what's wrong with me? What's happening here?

24:41Oh man, my future is gone. I'm going to lose all this business. I'm not going to reach my targets. I'm not going to reach my goals. And all of a sudden you get lower and lower in your state of mind because you have more clutter, more thought, more revved up thinking, which lowers your state of mind and causes separation. Now let's look at a mind that has a lot of clarity. Let's look at a mind that is a high state of mind. There's less thought. There's less clutter. There's more focus. There's more positivity. I always draw two circles for people. And I do this in the book, three circles, a thousand dots in one circle, a circle with three dots in the other, which mine will perform at a higher level.

25:17The one with the three dots, not the thousand. So that salesperson who made the call and it didn't go well, who's rejected now has a thousand dots and they're reeling and they think something's wrong. So now they move into a slump, more fear, more insecurity. The person who that has, that has it happen when they're in a high state and something happens where they get rejected, it's like, ah, whatever, I'll make the next sale. Let's go. Because they're in a high state and they move forward. So it wasn't the rejection, it was their state of mind. So just understanding this allows you to move forward in a more positive way.

25:51And the key is you're on that roller coaster and you're going down the roller coaster in a low state. And so often you want to jump off and you want to escape when it's not going well, or you have revved up thinking and that makes you want to jump off even more. Key is, no, just realize what's happening. We just got into a fight, not a big deal. The sales call didn't go well. Okay, what can I learn from it? The next one will go great. Stay on the roller coaster. And then what happens is you ride it right back up and you'll experience a high state of mind and more success as a result. It's like the baseball batter goes 0 for 4, 0 for 3, and 0 for 4.

26:24Now they're thinking a lot. Now they have revved up thinking, as I wrote about in the book, and now they think something's wrong, something's broken. Now they're in a slump and it leads to worse and worse in terms of their performance. Same thing with that teenager who has a lot of negative thoughts coming in. All of a sudden they have all these negative thoughts. They think something's wrong with them. Something's broken. And as they learn in the book, there's nothing wrong with them. There's nothing that's broken. They're just in a low state and a lot of thoughts. The key is to understand what's going on, to get yourself to a higher state.

26:55And the more you do this and understand this, then you're able to overcome it a whole lot faster. And Heather, someone who, you have a teenager, I have kids who are now 23 and 25 and my son struggled over the years. And so did I in the past with depression, anxiety. This is a must read for people who have kids who are struggling because all these kids are having these same experiences and they think something's wrong with them. And this is going to help them realize nothing is wrong. And having worked with a bunch of kids who are depressed and even suicidal, I share this with them. all these kids have literally, have literally after just even one teaching have transformed and turned around like a 180 immediately, which has been really powerful to see.

27:38So you talk a lot in the book about science behind oneness, meaning in a relationship, whether it be romantic or otherwise, when two people come together, that that is the ideal time to heal. Two hearts become one. And you talk about this research, which I think is so interesting, makes all the sense in the world. I, for myself, thought about when I first gave birth, like one of the biggest moments of love. All I want to do is become a better person. And like, how can I, you know, I want to, I want to be better. And like, I'm so connected to this human being. It's such an incredible healing feeling.

28:12But one of the things that I wonder, John, from this teaching, which I do completely agree with, but I feel like could be confusing. I know so many people in bad relationships out there in the world, right? Like we all do, right? So how does someone decipher for people listening when you're in a bad relationship and you're just staying because you're thinking, oh, I'm supposed to be in a relationship to heal. God wants me in a relationship and I shouldn't be alone. One is together, a relationship together versus saying, wait a minute, I need to take care of myself and my well-being. And it's okay to be on my own for a while until I can find a situation that is more healing.

28:51when two people are connected and they're having a conversation, a meeting with a conversation, and there's a oneness there. What happens is research shows from heart math, there's actually a synchronization of the hearts. They actually start to synchronize together and two hearts become one. When there's a loving relationship that's happening as well. There's a oneness that flows that you feel when you feel connected to that person. So I would say relational psychology says that we heal in a loving relationship. So we heal in a loving relationship. But if that relationship is not loving, if that relationship is draining, if that relationship is hurting you, if that relationship is sabotaging you, guess what?

29:33You can't heal in that relationship. And then you shouldn't be in that relationship. So I would say to people, if this relationship is helping you heal, if you're able to grow in this relationship, and sometimes fights along the way are gonna be part of that growth process, So we might have a fight today, but overall, we're moving towards growth. We're talking about our issues. We're working through our issues. We're trying to get better individually and collectively. And we want to make this work. And we're not the black hole that's sucking up all the energy. And we're not the narcissist that's making the other person feel less than while we try to make ourselves feel better.

30:07If there's a give and take, then you stay in that relationship, of course. And the goal is oneness. The thing is, as you said, we're trying to always seek connection. We are designed for oneness. As a result of that, we will often then stay in an unhealthy relationship because we're designed for oneness, just like in work. If you have a work environment that might be some positive, but some negative, and you don't feel connected to the company, you then might start sharing and being negative with other people who are negative, and you find your little negative tribe because you're looking to connect.

30:43But now you have a group of negative people that are still looking to connect, but it's done in an unhealthy way. So are we creating health or are we creating dysfunction? Are we growing and healing or is the wound getting deeper and greater in the relationship? I do believe that in relationships, you know, we all have wounds and you're meant to be in a relationship with someone where you have your wounds and you come together and the goal is to heal your wounds together. And that's not easy. That's why relationships are so hard because we all have wounds and we'll have separation because of the wound.

31:17What is a wound but a separation of skin? In the soul, there's a wound of the soul. There's a separation. And the whole point of relationships is to heal the hole in our soul and become whole and become one. And it's that relationship spiritually also with God that we have this hole in our soul and we're meant to connect with our creator so that God can heal us so we can become one. Now, there might be people that say, okay, hey, John, this God thing. I was thinking about this a lot. How do I explain this to people? Well, in relational psychology, we know that, okay, you heal in a loving relationship.

31:51Can you heal with a stranger? No, you can't heal with a stranger. It has to be a loving relationship. Well, if your higher power is a stranger, then you can't heal in that relationship. That higher power has to be a personal God. It has to be a God of love, a God of forgiveness, a God that loves you and you are here to receive that love. That's where real healing takes place. And so I think it's great to believe in a higher power that moves you in the right direction away from separateness. It's why addiction programs are powerful because they believe in higher power, a higher power. But as you move from that separateness towards oneness through community, which is a big part of addiction programs too, and then you move towards that higher power, great.

32:32But then real healing takes place in the loving relationship between you and the higher power that actually is a God of love and here to love you. And we're here to receive that love. And we do, that's when we start to really heal. And I'm someone who needed love and forgiveness and had a lot of wounds. And I know personally, this is what happened to me. I needed healing. And once I did, my life changed and I found more wholeness. And that's allowed me to do this work. And it's why I want to help other people become whole. It's not about religion. God is not about religion. I'm a follower of Jesus.

33:09Jesus was not about religion. Jesus is all about healing and wholeness if you actually study what he taught, what he came for. And so for me, that changed my life, receiving that for the first time when I was 35 years old, a little older, and that changed everything for me. It's so powerful and it's so good and it's very relatable. And I want everyone to hear this quote that I took from John's book. I was a student of psychology all through college and have studied a lot of science, interviewed a lot of scientists. And I just think that this is so powerful because I've really been having the same epiphany lately.

33:42And I was so glad that you articulated it. When science, psychology, the scriptures and reality point to the same thing, it can't be refuted. You know, it's the truth. And it's so powerful to see in this book, you're pulling together research, you're pulling together real life business examples, sports examples, scripture, your own personal, it seems undeniable when you connect these dots because they're ultimately all saying the same things. Totally. And I wrote book one and book two, book one is the higher state of mind, low state of mind. Book two within this one truth book is all about examples of oneness and separateness, real life examples.

34:21And then book three, which is basically section three of this book is all about the solution to the separation. And how do we heal the hole in our soul? How do we implement the solution so we don't feel so separate, so we can actually find healing. And looking at science, looking at neuroscience, looking at the brain being an antenna, tuning into the positive versus negative, fear and love, the two dominant forces, fear divides, love unites, looking at the scriptures as I did. And the wildest thing about this, Heather, is when I wrote this, I didn't know a lot of the scriptures. I'm a person of faith, but there's a lot I still need to learn.

35:00There's a lot of growing I'm doing in my faith. So as I was writing this book, I was getting these ideas and these downloads. And then when I would share with people and I met with a few theologians that were actually, you know, matching my ideas to scriptures by basically my conversation with them going, Hey, I'm thinking about this. What do you think about this? Oh yeah, John is right here. It says here like no way. Oh yeah. It's also here. And it's also here. I'm like, whoa. So what I realized was that the truth doesn't need, for instance, the Bible to exist. The truth exists without the Bible.

35:33The truth is the truth. The Bible just explains the truth that we already know. And you'll find it actually, if you really do look, you actually find it right there. So I bring up all these different truths that I found that I was thinking about, like take every thought captive. That's in the Bible. But guess what? If we don't take our thoughts captive, they will take us captive. the renewing of our mind is a big part I share there. Oh, that makes so much sense. We have to renew our mind, which is our soul. And our mind and our soul, the more we renew it, that's what leads to healing. And so talking about that, because everyone has patterns of dysfunctions of their past and wounds that need to be healed.

36:10So you might find a Christian that's been saved and they've given their life to Jesus. And at the same time, they're living a miserable life and they're depressed. And they're also really struggling with all sorts of things. So why would that be? Because even though they've been saved in their spirit, their soul still needs renewing and their mind still needs renewing and they got to change their thinking and the patterns of the past have not been healed. And that's what I explained also a little bit towards the end of the book, explaining how we really need to find healing. So I really thought of every possible way, but meeting with these people and then, and talking to them and finding out that it was there blew me away.

36:46And especially even like I share in the book, the Old Testament story of Adam and Eve, That's not a Christian story. That's an ancient Jewish story about two frequencies, positive and negative, about separation. Think about it. It's a story of separation because they ate of the fruit of the tree. They were separated from God and each other. That's an ancient Jewish story, a story about separation. And then what am I sharing? Oh, the problem is separation. And let me share the answer, which is the solution to the separation and coming back to oneness. And it's like, whoa, it's there. It's also there in the Cherokee story of the two wolves, you know, two wolves, positive and negative.

37:24That's an ancient Native American story. And yet it's represents the truth of two frequencies, positive or negative. And the same things you'll find in the scriptures, that it's a battle between good and evil, two frequencies, positive and negative. There's a power that wants to love you and unite you. There's a force trying to divide you and separate you and weaken you. Which will you choose? And we have that choice. again, woven into psychology, pop culture, into ancient teachings, and into our own experience. Because we all know what it feels like when we feel separate. We all know there are moments where we feel empty and we have that hole in our soul.

38:03And we know we need healing and we don't know where to look. We don't know where to find it. We try to do everything possible to heal that. And yet we still struggle. We still feel down. And when you find the answer, you got to share the answer. And I really believe that I have found the answer, received it. And it's my job to get it out there and share it to as many people as possible to help people heal, not to convince them of anything, but to help them understand the truth so they can actually live it. For everyone listening, this is not a book about God, right? There's business, there's sports, there's some scripture, but you also bring a component in around energy and the quantum.

38:42And I think I'm so I've been reading so much about this the last few years. I was completely oblivious to it previously. But and for anyone listening right now that isn't familiar, if you could share a little bit about what that means to go really deep, you have to understand who you are and what you're made of. And when you understand that this makes even more sense, because when you think about it, what are you really when you die, your body turns to dust. So think about that. That's pretty crazy. Like we never really even talk about death. Like one day you hear and the next day you're gone.

39:13I think that's really crazy. Like in this reality, I've lost my mom and dad. Like one day they were here and then they were gone the next day. Like, where did they go? Where does your body go? It turns to dust. Okay. So what are you? And our body is made of, of energy. How do we perceive the world? If you really think about it, we see the world and perceive the world and experience the world through electrical impulses, through signals, through wavelengths and frequencies and vibrations. And we interpret to see, to hear these signals that then we apply meaning to, and then we're able to make sense of this energetic reality we're living.

39:53So what I'm convinced of, and what I explain to people is the brain is an antenna, we're energetic beings, and we have a soul and a spirit that is living in this temporary reality, which everyone agrees is temporary, but our soul and our spirit is eternal, and it's connected to God's eternal soul and spirit. Well, I should say God's spirit. So we are meant to be one spirit with God. Our spirit and God's spirit is meant to be one spirit. That is the unifying factor. That is the oneness that you feel. And it's interesting. Namaste means the spirit in me recognizes the spirit in you. So we're spirit.

40:31Well, if we're spirit and God is spirit, when we become one spirit, that's when we experience the oneness, the love, the joy. That's when we experience our purpose. So we can actually live a more powerful life as we're meant to live by being connected to the one spirit. You're never meant to be separate from that. Your spirit is meant to be one. Think about the tree and the soil, meant to be one. The tree thrives in the soil. It's not meant to be separate from the soil. The fish is meant to be in the water. And we're meant to be connected to our creator. And then scripture backs us up and says that nothing could separate you from the love of God.

41:08You're actually always connected to that love. The fact that you feel separate isn't a lie, an illusion that you feel separate, but you're actually always connected to the love of God. What does God want for you? Oneness and connection. What are the forces always trying to do on the other side? Separate you, divide you so you feel weak, scared, chronically stressed, worried, and powerless all the time. And so when you understand the nature of our realities to experience this energetic reality, and the essence is this battle between oneness and separateness, good and evil, evil divides, good unites.

41:43And as you go through this journey, your soul is learning, growing, becoming, and then healing and being restored back to oneness. And that's the purpose of our life. That's our journey. And I truly believe when you understand this, it all makes sense. We've all lived this. We all have a wound. I mean, I've talked to Buddhists. I was a Buddhist. I've talked to friends who are atheists. Hey, do we have a hole in our soul? Oh yeah. Like even atheists believe we have a hole in our soul. Like they don't know where the soul comes from, but they, you know, they believe we have a hole in our soul. And how do you heal the whole?

42:17Well, self-love, but your self-love is not powerful enough. It's not great enough. I don't know about you, but I'm an imperfect. So my love is very imperfect. It's not always great. And sometimes it's conditional. You need an unconditional healing love. Now, self-love is good though, because it moves you away from separateness and feeling crappy and feeling down and depressed and hating yourself, but it's a step in the right direction, but then we need to tap into that greater love. So again, the awareness of what you are, your soul and spirit and essence, essence, and then you have this energetic reality.

42:51Appearance is temporary, but essence is eternal. So every day we're living life from this eternal essence, and we're meant to express that essence very powerfully with love and joy, peace and purpose. And we're not meant to go through life fearful, anxious, worried, and stressed. Each week. I'm not entertained. Confidence, queen. Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with lux essentials that feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts. Their versatile styles make it easy to reach for them day after day.

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45:05You have a chapter on having a knowing or a knowingness, and that's something that I've struggled. I feel like I go in and out of, and it's very, very frustrating when you're out of it. How do you get yourself to stay in the knowing? So that's so great because, you know, we all have those moments of in and out. We all have those moments of up and down. We all have those highs and lows. We're living in a world of duality. And so we're never going to be fully, fully high state of mind all the time. There are people always trying to achieve it, but there are moments when you experience it, like the zone state, man, it's awesome.

45:39I bet when you're speaking on stage, you feel the oneness of that moment. That's probably when you feel most alive as a speaker. I always call it, that's like the magic moment. When you feel like magic, you know, you found what you're supposed to be doing. It's so great. And there's a feeling on stage of oneness because you're not thinking of anything else. And there's this power moving through. You feel the connection to the spirit and you're like, boom. And then all of a sudden you come off the stage and there are moments now thought rushes back in. And then all of a sudden at times you might feel even a little down because you just had this peak high experience and now you feel a little down.

46:13And then it's gone. And you're seeking back that moment. And as a speaker, it's the speaker high. and there's constant moments in our life that we can remember and realize when we're in that oneness state. So you're gonna have the highs and the lows. So what do I do to stay there or try to get there? Can't do it all the time. That's what I share in the book. That's the TUNE acronym, T-U-N-E, trust in truth, unite with love, neutralize in negativity, elevate your thinking. We talk about that. Also the other action plan is the whole acronym and the prayer acronym. We don't have to go through it now, but read the book for those acronyms.

46:50And for me, a big part of getting to that oneness state is really prayer. Like we are meant to practice gratitude and prayer. And what I realized was years ago when I suffered from depression, anxiety, and I finally knew I needed to change because Catherine was gonna leave me if I didn't change, I started taking walks of gratitude and prayer every day. And then by doing that, what I was doing is I was now tuning into the higher frequency. I was tuning into the oneness, The ego is being dissolved. And now I'm tuning into and experiencing more of a oneness with my creator, with God. And as I'm walking, I'm finding renewing and healing.

47:27So literally my mind starts to change. My soul starts to change. I start to feel different. Eventually my brain is now being changed because your brain is nothing more than the hardware, but it's an energetic hardware. And the more you're tuning into and experiencing the oneness, that actually heals your body and brain. And so I want scientists to start studying this because I truly believe this is the direction of healing and the answer to our epidemic of mental health. I'm not a scientist. I have this theory, I have these beliefs. I put it out there in the book. I may even not be right. I'm not gonna say I'm perfectly right.

48:04I think that I'm pointing people in the right direction of where we should be going and what scientists should be doing and testing and creating. Because I believe the more we can help people experience, the oneness, experience this modality of prayer and doing it every day, meditation and prayer, they'll start to find more healing in their life. And I think we'll find a lot of solutions for that. So the answer, the long answer to your short question was, I think, take more time in prayer. Whenever I feel anxious, you know what I do? I say, I trust in you, God. I don't have all the answers, but I know you do.

48:40I trust in your plan for me. And I just trust and I surrender. and we've all heard the surrendering prayer. We've heard all sorts of prayers like that. Surrender is really powerful because what do you do? You're letting go of your ego, of your separateness, and now you're experiencing oneness. And of oneness, what happens? Love flows through you and to others through your oneness. When I meet people, I can always tell, you can tell their heart just by how they make you feel and the oneness that's flowing through them. Unless someone's having a bad day and they're in a low state. And sometimes we might judge someone based on their low state.

49:14Please, if you see me in an airplane and I'm a little stressed, don't judge me by my low state. Although I've gotten a ton of that. But there are moments I'm in a low state. You don't want to be judged by that. But we all go there. But the more we take time for prayer and that connection time, the more we'll actually be able to stay and experience the higher state. You know, someone pointed out to me the other day, I struggle with the idea of surrender because it sounds scary. Like you're letting go of everything. You're letting go of all control. And for so much of my life, I was a control freak in recovery now.

49:47It's a work in progress. And so someone said to me, how about instead of saying, I surrender to you, God, or I let go of my fears to you, or I give you my fears, God. And it was interesting changing one word. I thought, oh, yeah, that's easy to do. I had no problem. But for me, language was holding me back a little bit from truly surrendering. I love that language. Yeah, you talked about language just now. That's a great way to put it because language creates meaning. and so basically what works for you and what's the meaning behind what you're saying so you're basically saying instead of surrendering you're saying i give you right or i really or i release it means the same thing yeah no i love it but it's whatever works for you you know like i think religion is always like you must do it this way and guess what the creator of the universe has a way to communicate to you individually and the more you're open to that and you create that connection, I challenge people.

50:40If you don't believe in God, I challenge you just to start surrender and start to pray and just say, I'm open. I'm willing. If you're real, show me the signs and just start to speak to me. And I guarantee the more you listen, you're open. As you start to experience the oneness of that relationship, because it's an intimate walk with God. God wants to create a oneness with you and have an intimate relationship. I have no doubt we are meant to be connected with our creator. So as you have that oneness, God will start to actually speak to you and through you and give you ideas. Like God wants to speak to you and through you.

51:15Like I've written 28 books now and these books come to me and through me and I write them in three and a half weeks. And I'm not any special. I'm not more special than anyone else. It's because one, this is my purpose and calling, no doubt. You may not get these downloads of books because you're not meant to be a writer. You might get different downloads. But for me, I get them. And it's only when I'm silent and still in practice and gratitude that they come in. And the more I surrender, guess what? The ideas come when I'm in that mode because I'm now receiving. And I don't think a lot of people receive because they don't believe they deserve to receive.

51:53They don't trust they're going to receive or they've got the blockages and the lack of faith that keep them from receiving. So you can cry out, you can ask, God, help me. And you ask, you can trust, but you've also have to allow yourself to receive the blessing that God wants to give you and the words he wants to give you and the voice he wants to share to you. So I've experienced this firsthand as someone who never wrote books, never received much. And then as I started doing a lot of this and really trusting and surrendering, things start to flow and, and, and unbelievable. Like the ideas that I get and this, this book is the result of the connection to oneness, which is then ironic.

52:38I would write a book about oneness. And I know you're big on making a difference too. As you become more one, you then want to go help the one. And I find that the more you are experiencing oneness, you experience love that makes you want to help others. Cause why you now see that other person as part of you, They're not separate from you. So now you want to help them. And that's what I love to do. That's why like any teenagers that struck any teenager that's struggling, I will talk to that teenager because I want to I want to help them. I'm so grateful you brought up receiving. I struggled with that so much.

53:08And actually, in the book, you've got a chapter about shame and how shame blocks us and sexual abuse and, you know, abuse of any kind, but that we don't even realize, like you said, that someone could be out there seeking this relationship with God, praying for it, but whatever their blocks are within their own life that they haven't addressed yet is actually keeping them from receiving the kinds of blessings you're describing. Totally. Totally. And again, we don't receive. So your job is to ask your job is to trust and then be open to receiving. Don't cut off the flow of abundant and positive energy and love and blessings that are meant for you.

53:49Oh my gosh, this is so good. How does everybody find you and how does everybody find your new book, The One Truth? They can go to getonetruth.com. That's getonetruth.com because One Truth was already taken. So we had to get getonetruth.com and they can go there and get the book. They can actually read it before it comes out if this airs before June 27th. So they can actually read the book before it. It comes out June 27th though. And then they get a bunch of action plans and resources free. So they get the tune, tune action plan, the prayer acronym, the whole action plan. They get all of that.

54:25And then also, uh, John Gordon.com is my website. So J O N Gordon.com. They can, they can find all my books and a lot of my resources and free resources there as well. And then Twitter and Instagram at J O N Gordon 11. And I'm on Instagram. Oh no, LinkedIn, LinkedIn, which I, you know, I know you love. I'm, I, I love LinkedIn as well. I'm on there as well. All right, guys, check this book out. The one truth. There's so much in here that's going to make sense to you that you're not going to have realized until you read what John put together. And there's a whole section on applying it to your life.

55:00There's action plans. Take the step, get the book, the one truth, John, thank you so much for writing this book. And thanks for being here. Hey, thanks, Heather. Really appreciate you so much. Guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence.

55:17I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably, something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. I'm on this journey with me.