Confidence Classic: Why Growth Starts When Comfort Ends with Heather

0:00Heather Monahan:If you've ever looked into starting your own business, you know how complex it gets. Setting up systems, finding partners, building processes. Fora simplifies that by packaging everything you need to launch and operate a successful travel business into a single platform. There's a big difference between having an idea for a business and actually launching one. Fora bridges that gap by giving you access to the technology, partnerships, and training you need to start operating a successful travel business now. Fora is a modern travel agency platform designed for entrepreneurs who want to build and scale their own travel business without starting from zero.

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1:14Heather Monahan:Go make something amazing. Zazzle.com. Right now, Keeper is offering our listeners 60 % off personal and family plans at KeeperSecurity.com slash confidence. This offer is only for podcast listeners. Make sure you use our link so they know we sent you. KeeperSecurity.com slash confidence. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to Quint.com slash confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash confidence for free shipping and 365 day returns. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.

2:00That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Upwork.com.

2:06Heather Monahan:When everything is uncertain, anything is possible. You can only see the dots connect when you look backwards. It's impossible to see it looking forward. You have to move forward in faith. When I look back, it's always taking me to something bigger, better. And God's plan is always going to be better and bigger than mine. There is something so much bigger out there for us if we're willing to step into that possibility, if we're willing to turn it over and surrender and just have faith. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow.

2:45I'm ready for my close-up.

2:47Heather Monahan:Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to, so these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so I just received a DM on LinkedIn, and I wanted to share with you what it said and what I responded because I get a lot of messages like this. So the DM I received was, it's super great what this woman's doing, someone I don't know that was reaching out to me saying, hey, Heather, I have this new initiative or this passion project I'm working on.

3:32Heather Monahan:And she wants to help to reimagine how the government and justice system handles domestic violence cases. Apparently something around domestic violence happened in her life. And she saw how difficult and hard it was. And she has made it a passion project and her purpose to find a way to improve it. Amazing. Love to hear this. Like all good. There's nothing bad there, right? It's so good to find your purpose and passion and to pursue that. And I'm totally commending this woman for what she's doing. It's amazing. However, she writes to me to say, hey, basically, this is so much harder than I thought it was.

4:11Heather Monahan:And she said, basically, people don't want to have a conversation with her. They're avoiding the topic entirely. She says it basically seems like it's not a popular topic and that it's got a negative connotation. And so now people are just trying to avoid me. How do I fix this? You know, she feels stuck. And so I thought that was so interesting because if success was easy, everybody would have it. That's the first thing I go back to is I just think about business. Right. And I just remember coming up in sales and becoming a sales leader and then a VP of sales and then an EVP and then a cheap revenue officer and then getting fired and reinventing myself.

4:49Heather Monahan:None of this stuff was easy. Right. So you can either in any situation sit somewhere and think about how things stink because of the conditions, because of the way other people respond, or this is the better option. What you can do is challenge yourself to say, okay, how can I put myself in their shoes and make them want to take this on, make this their idea, make this special and important for them? them how can I change the way I'm doing it so that I can connect and get their support right so the first thing that I thought to myself that's how I thought when I heard her question when I thought about there's always a solution number one okay I don't care what challenge you're facing there will always be a solution available to you it's on each one of us to find it and listen it might not be the thing that you like you might not like the solution but it's out there that I know for sure so I think to myself okay if I want to help this lady find a solution I need to put myself in the shoes of the people that are giving her a hard time that are basically saying this has a negative connotation.

5:58Heather Monahan:I don't want any part of the discussion. So the first thing I thought to myself is, OK, change the narrative. Whatever that discussion is, we've got to change it. So how you've been doing it, that's not working. Right. So, number one, you've got a clear intention and a goal, which is great. And we want to have that clearly defined. And she does. Now she's got some data because she's gone out and tried to make it work with her narrative she initially used. The data came back and said, this doesn't work. Okay, great. So we know what doesn't work, which is fantastic. Now we have to try some alternatives.

6:30Heather Monahan:So this is just like pitching anything, whether you're pitching a book proposal or you're pitching a$20 million deal to a client in the ad sector. It doesn't matter. It's all the same stuff. You've got to gather your data, know your product, know what problem you're solving, and you have to find a way to connect to the other person and make it meaningful to them so they want to do it. They want to say yes. So one of the things I said to her in a message back was, you know, put yourself in their shoes and how can you make this connect or resonate with them? One of the most powerful ways you can do that is through storytelling.

7:04Heather Monahan:So to me, I'm thinking if people don't like this topic, they see it as negative. what I want to do is I want to make it more human, more relatable so that they can, they've got to know someone in their life. And I'm making this up. I don't know, but maybe it's telling a story of a woman who seemed happy in a relationship at first and slowly over time, you could see she wasn't as happy. And on the outside looking in, you started wondering if she was okay. And how can you make this more relatable so that whoever you're telling the story to, everyone knows someone in that situation, because suddenly you might pique their interest.

7:37Heather Monahan:suddenly it could be a more pleasant, curious conversation instead of a off-putting one, right? So, you know, how can we humanize the topic? How can we make it relatable? How can we involve story so others can become emotionally tied to it and relate to it and identify with it and want to be a part of the solution, want to be a champion for it? So I would start there, right? And again, you're going to have to test and try. You're going to have to do research. You're going to have to interview people. You're going to have to do the work. It's not easy. There's not a magic answer for this, but there are different paths and roads you can go down to test and try until you can find the solution.

8:17Heather Monahan:The next thing I said to her was another alternative, and I'd actually fire off on all cylinders if I was really committed to this. I would go that first route I just described, and I would test and try to get feedback and data to understand if I'm moving in the right direction and what's resonating and what's not. And then I would also look at who out there in the world has a large public following who has had domestic violence issues that might be an advocate or might be willing to help share this passion and purpose and work collaboratively together. Because the more people you can link up with that are good and on the same page with you in regards to what your mission and purpose is, the more success you're going to have, right?

8:57Heather Monahan:Two or 200 or better than one. And so you want to build that community, that tribe, that outreach so that you can build a movement. So I asked her, I said, you know, are you reaching out to any larger profile people to see if they could be advocates for you or if you could work in conjunction and collaboration together on this? And she responded back that she had reached out to one celebrity and hadn't her back. OK, this is sales 101. Reaching out to one person, making one pitch is never going to be enough. Right. I'm going to multiply that times a thousand. If I want to have some success, it's a numbers game.

9:33Heather Monahan:Right. If you reached out to one celebrity, the chances of you getting a yes back are zero, which this example that she gave us proved that case. So you need to multiply that times hundreds, if not a thousand pitches. Right. And this is where you need the help and support of others and start eliciting support and asking for help and finding other like minded people to join in on this with you that share your purpose and passion. So again, the point of this whole story is I get so many messages like this, not about domestic violence in particular, but people saying I'm starting a business and it's just not taking off or I want to get promoted and it hasn't happened.

10:10Heather Monahan:The reality is it's so good and so critical to have those goals, have the clear intention, write these things down, revisit them daily, what your dreams are, visualize them happening, speak them into existence and surround yourself with people that are going to hold you accountable and challenge you to grow and can advocate for you and cheer you on. And of course, be your own cheerleader during this whole process. But you also have to do the work. And I think sometimes people just forget about that part. Maybe we don't talk enough about it, but it's hard work. A lot of times people will reach out to me and they ask, oh my gosh, I followed your journey.

10:45Heather Monahan:It's super inspiring. Can you share with me how I can break into the top 50 list of keynote speakers? And those are the moments I scratch my head because here's the thing. This is just real time example. I started speaking publicly on stages when I was 25 years old. That's more than 20 years ago. So I've been putting the reps in on public speaking for 20 years. That's crazy. I mean, that's, I can't even tell you how many speeches I've given thousands across the course of my life. Right. So you've got to do the work. You've got to put the reps in. You've got to take chances. I mean, I almost fell on my face at the Drift Sales and Marketing Conference right before the pandemic when I was interviewing Sarah Blakely live on stage.

11:29Heather Monahan:I was so flipping nervous. My feet were sweating so bad and my Louboutin almost fell off. I almost face planted and I had to make it into a joke. But the reason why I share that with you is this hasn't gone seamlessly. I'm constantly pressuring myself and pushing myself to the next level. When I gave my TEDx talk, I almost choked in the warmups that morning. I literally, words did not come out of my face. I don't even know how I walked out on the stage that day. But by constantly pushing myself into fear, constantly challenging myself to go to that next level, not knowing what the outcome will be.

12:03Heather Monahan:I never know what the outcome is going to be, but it's about living in that possibility and knowing that if I'm growing, I'm going the right direction. Right. And, and that I just had this faith that I believe in my purpose. I believe in my passion and I truly believe in myself. Doesn't mean I'm going to kill it every single time, but as long as I move forward with that faith into that unknown and step into that possibility, that's where all the magic really happens. So you've got to put the reps in. You've got to do the work. You've got to take the chances. And you don't go for one pitch. You go for thousands.

12:37Heather Monahan:And when you can start sharing that data back with me, I can promise you this, you'll already have made it. Meet a different guest each week. I'm going to change. Confidence creator. If you're like me, you are in the middle of graduation season, which is also birthday season around here, which means there are a lot of save the dates. There are a lot of thank you cards being written. There's a lot of work, but luckily Zazzle now makes it manageable. Zazzle covers the full event, invitations, save the dates, place cards, programs, signage, party favors, and thank you notes, all customizable to match your colors, your fonts, and your whole vibe.

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15:32Heather Monahan:Also this week, for some reason, I've received a ton of DMs on LinkedIn specifically about people getting fired. And because I've shared my story so many times ad nauseum about this, and I do it because I want people to know they're not alone. And just because you got fired doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. I remember people kind of implied that to me when I got fired, like, oh my gosh, don't let anyone know. So super embarrassing. Why? It's not embarrassing. Instead, flip that, right? It's not rejection. It's redirection into something so much bigger. Maybe this is God's plan in motion, not unfolding the way that I plan for, because it's so much bigger, it's so much greater.

16:17Heather Monahan:And I would have never found it if I hadn't been fired, if I hadn't had this catalyst into something so exciting, so unknown, and be willing to step into that possibility. So I've received all of these messages this week about people getting fired, and people freaking out, right, which I totally get. I freaked out the first 24 hours, literally crying under a weighted blanket with a bottle of Chardonnay in my hand, flipping out, lost my mind, panic, panic, panic, panic. But I chose to flip it around. And I would challenge you to do this in my new book, Overcome Your Villains. There's a three step process to overcome any adversity that you face.

16:55Heather Monahan:And the first step, which is what I put into motion 24 hours after getting fired when I said, okay, Pity party's over. I'm not making progress. If I'm gonna sit and lay on a couch, drinking Chardonnay and crying forever, that's not gonna work. I said, pump the brakes, let's do this. Let's boil this belief that my life is over and I've lost everything down to the most simplistic shred of fact that may be there. And when I boiled it down, I realized I had lost a paycheck. I didn't lose my business acumen. I didn't lose my network. I didn't lose my expertise. I didn't lose my experience. I didn't lose the opportunities ahead of me.

17:31Heather Monahan:I didn't lose my health. I didn't lose my friendships. I didn't lose anything but a paycheck. And once I distilled it down to that simple truth, it became much more doable, livable, and impossible to move forward. And I was able to get up, and then I put a post up on social media. I took action. That's step number two. And I asked for help. I put a post up saying, hey, I've just been fired. and if I've ever helped you at all in the last couple of decades, I need to hear from you now. That post went viral and landed me on the Elvis Duran show, right? So all of these things that were happening, I had no idea what the outcome would be.

18:10Heather Monahan:I had no idea. I didn't have a clear intention other than I just wanted to move forward back then. It wasn't like I was sitting on the couch saying, I want to be a bestselling author. I want to have a top business podcast. I want to be a phenomenal keynote speaker. I did not have any of these ideas back then. I just had this idea that I needed to get out of the bubble I was living in. I needed to find out what else existed in the world for me. What could I be meant for? Why am I here? What am I meant to do bigger than what I'm doing now? Because where I am doesn't feel good. There's got to be something else out there for me.

18:44Heather Monahan:And really, for me, it was about stepping into that unknown, which for so long for me is what kept me stuck at the same company in the same role, right? Looking like I'm killing it on the outside, but really killing myself on the inside because I wasn't happy working side by side with someone who didn't respect me, didn't encourage me, wasn't a champion of mine. And for years, I was beating my head against a wall saying, why am I have I not been nominated to the board? I keep pitching myself. I'm so obviously the right person for this next move. And then it took me getting fired and a year later, landing my first board seat with HealthLink.

19:23Heather Monahan:And now I'm on a team of people who love me and are my champions. And I love working with that I have so much fun with, because I'm at a table where people want me to be. I'm not sitting at a table where people secretly don't want me to be. So again, I had no idea about any of this back when it all went down. But getting fired was the biggest blessing and redirection for me and opportunity to step into who I was really meant to be. But you don't know those things in the moment, right? You can only see the dots connect when you look backwards. It's impossible to see it looking forward. You have to move forward in faith and find that faith within you.

20:04Heather Monahan:However you can, when you look back across your life and think of other moments or times that you were in these uncertain situations and didn't know what was possible and slowly things started to unfold, grab onto that as proof that this situation or this time, whether it be that, you know, you just ended a relationship or you were fired from a job or you're trying to start something differently or in a window where you're struggling with your child, maybe that challenge is actually setting you up to teach you a lesson or teach that other person a lesson for growth that's setting you up for so much more success in the future you just don't know it yet right so just realize you can't see the dots connecting looking forward you can only see that looking back and I'm constantly struggling even to this day gosh it's crazy how many times I reinvented myself how many times I've started over how many times I've done things people told me I could never do, which I find incredibly entertaining.

21:02Heather Monahan:But, you know, all of this, I still today at 48 years old have to challenge myself all the time when I have a lone moment, when I'm discouraged, when I feel like, why did this happen? This wasn't supposed to happen so sad or this wasn't the way it was supposed to be, right? When I'm bummed out or I didn't get my way or what I wanted, I have to pump the brakes again and say, wait a minute, this isn't about being sad. This isn't about feeling bad about things not going the way I wanted. Maybe it's about appreciating this moment and appreciating that when everything is uncertain, anything is possible.

21:38Heather Monahan:And I don't know how these dots are going to connect. And I don't know where this redirection is taking me. But when I look back, it's always taking me to something bigger, better. And God's plan is always going to be better and bigger than mine. I've got to turn it over. So I've been struggling with this idea of surrender my whole entire life. I am so disciplined this year at mastering this. I don't know if I ever will, but I know if I commit to it, I'm going to keep getting better and better. And that transition will occur more smoothly and gracefully. And hopefully with ease and grace, you know, I'll be able to step into this on the regular, just letting go and let God and let that bigger plan for you, for me, for all of us, because there is something so much bigger out there for us.

22:22Heather Monahan:If we're willing to step into that possibility if we're willing to turn it over and surrender and just have faith. So I hope that you have faith today. I know that I do. And I did just get out of church. Oh, and P.S., you guys have sent me so many messages about my last, a couple of weeks ago, I did a show right after I came out of church and I got a lot of really good feedback about it. So whenever I can, I'm going to continue to do individual episodes after church so I can share that message with you. For those of you that go to church, it'll be spot on. For those of you that don't, maybe it'll, you know, make you a little bit curious.

22:57Heather Monahan:The church I go to is called VOU, V-O-U-S. You can absolutely follow them on Instagram. Pastor Rich is incredible. I mean, they're all incredible, but you can definitely check out their services online too. You can see the same service that I go to. You can see it on the internet. So if you're not in Miami, you can still vibe with me and I'm hoping that you will because VOU is the bomb. meet a different guest each week.

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24:03Heather Monahan:And with AI-powered shortlisting, you'll get matched to the right freelancer in under six hours. No endless searching required. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com, Upwork.com. I don't know about you, but I am never able to remember my passwords. And then trying to create strong passwords so that you make sure that you don't leave yourself vulnerable to being hacked makes it even more challenging. That's where I use Keeper. Keeper is a password manager that It creates strong, unique passwords for all of your accounts, stores them securely in one place and logs you in automatically across all your devices.

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