Confidence Classic: Why Your Energy Attracts Everything Into Your Life with Heather!

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2:12Heather Monahan:The only answer is always to just be you. And I'll tell you, the only times in my life I've really fallen short is when I was in situations and work environments where people didn't like me and I was trying to get them to like me. I was becoming a watered down B-rate version of myself. When we show up as someone we're not, we attract the wrong people to us, the wrong opportunities. But then I also truly believe when you start stepping into your purpose and your passion and showing up as that real, authentic, true version of you, you start attracting the right people towards you. You'll attract the right opportunities to you.

2:46Heather Monahan:The right doors will open for you. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited you are back here with me today. Okay, we have a lot of new listeners lately, I'm finding, because I've been getting a lot of DMs, and I wanted to just reintroduce myself in case we haven't formally met.

3:36I am Heather Monaghan, and I'm so happy you're here.

3:39Heather Monahan:For my ride-or-die OGs, please just indulge me a minute. Okay, so my background is I came up through corporate America and made it to the C-suite. I was killing it in the media business for over 25 years. And after 14 years at one company and being promoted three times and being named one of the most influential women in radio, I was suddenly fired. And it was a crazy, unexpected turn of events, which in the moment sucked. It was awful. I don't know if you've ever been fired, but it is a major punch in the gut in the moment. But like anything, you know, in time, you know, I have this perspective now that I can look back and say greatest gift I was ever given.

4:24Heather Monahan:However, it was not a painless road right to get here. But growth is not always easy. We have to step into the uncomfortable. And in fact, maybe that's where the actual magic happens. It is. So that's what I've learned is, you know, stepping out. I had an 18 month non-compete, non-solicit, which meant I could not go to a competitor. I couldn't work in the media business for 18 months and I couldn't hire any of my former employees for 18 months. So basically I had to start over somewhere as a rookie. I had to start over as a beginner somewhere. And somewhere along that way, I figured out if I'm going to start over as a beginner, why don't I just double down and roll the dice on me?

5:04Heather Monahan:And it wasn't like an epiphany I had, by the way. I didn't just wake up the next day and decide that. That process actually took a while, too, because I was toggling back and forth between do I go back to a corporate environment in a new industry and try that? Or do I keep trying to go to work for myself? You know, I was so uncertain and unclear. I didn't have this strong confidence and this knowing and this clarity at that point in time. And that's listen, there's going to be situations in all of our lives where we have to muddle through that lack of clarity, that lack of knowing to find it. And I'm grateful I never gave up.

5:44Heather Monahan:I'm grateful I didn't go back and start over in a new industry and just, you know, sign up for something else. I'm grateful I listened to my intuition. I stepped into the unknown. I took messy action, made lots of mistakes and lots of really great things happened. And I started asking for signs. I was asking God, the universe, please show me signs. I'm on the right path. And the more I've done that, the more amazing messages I've gotten, the more incredible things have happened. OK, so here's the breakdown. I got fired. I posted that I've been fired. That post landed me on the Elvis Duran show.

6:19Heather Monahan:Halfway through that show, he says to me, well, Heather, obviously you're writing a book, but I wasn't writing a book. I didn't even know anyone could write a book. I thought you had to be anointed or a literary major. Turns out any jackball can write a book. So this jackball did just that. I wrote Confidence Creator in five months time because I knew I needed a product to sell. And I launched that product. It trumped Donald Trump the first week it came out for number one on the business biography list. I had no idea that was going to happen, swear to you. And I laugh when people say to me, oh, of course you knew it would be a success.

7:01Heather Monahan:No, I didn't. I had no idea if anyone, if one person would buy my book, much less a lot of people. So I was blown away, super excited. But that happened from stepping into the unknown. That happened from showing up as a beginner author having no idea what I was doing and taking that chance on me. And that's what I want for you to take that chance on you. Then I googled how do you sell books and it said speak. And I thought, great, I've been speaking for 20 something years in corporate America. I just didn't know there was a speaking business. So I stumbled into the speaking business, which was amazing because there's billions of dollars to be made there.

7:40Heather Monahan:And I absolutely believe I was born to speak to audiences. I love it. That's when I feel like magic. If you aren't doing something for a job that makes you feel like magic, you have not found your passion, your purpose and your mission yet. Keep looking. Keep asking God in the universe what that is. Keep looking for those signs and you will find that right path and that right place in time. It only took me, what, 43 years, 44 years. Oh, my gosh. OK, so that speaking led to me interviewing Sarah Blakely live on stage in 2019. and my speaking business blew up. My TEDx talk got promoted to TED, killing it.

8:17Heather Monahan:And then pandemic and everything disappeared overnight. And I just said, take messy action. How can I solve a problem and create value from home? And something said to me, go read your DMs, see what people ask you for. And people were asking me, do you do consulting? Do you do coaching? So I launched a coaching and consulting program having no idea what I was doing. And that led to me getting appointed to the board of directors of HealthLink Corp, which has been an amazing experience. I get to work with amazing people, and I'm so grateful. That would have never happened if the pandemic hadn't come.

8:52Heather Monahan:The pandemic also led to me writing and pitching my second book, Overcome Your Villains, to HarperCollins' leadership. And after 14 no's, finally, lucky number 15, we landed a deal and we got to work on bringing Overcome Your Villains to Life, which launched in November of 2021. That was super exciting. And then, oh, my podcast, I launched, well, you're listening to it right now. I launched this in 2019 before the pandemic. You know, there's just been so many things, messy action, jumping on opportunities, testing and trying and just moving forward. just keep going and just go bigger. And so again, some of it's been great.

9:32Heather Monahan:Some of it's not been so great. I definitely was not a fan of the pandemic, but this year seems to be something so different and business is starting to pick up and speaking events and live events are coming back. And, you know, there's just this energy in the air that I'm really, really hopeful for the future. I'm so excited about the uncertainty and I've truly become excited to know that I don't know oh, it's coming tomorrow. And that's what means anything can happen. Everything's possible when you're completely uncertain. So I'm super excited about it. I hope you're excited about this year too, and that you're stepping into your passion and your purpose on this ride with me.

10:11Meet a different guest each week.

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10:56Heather Monahan:It does. 10 times fewer impurities, two to five times tighter, heavy metal limits, PFAs and microplastic screening, and even more. They've even improved the product experience with an ultra fine powder that mixes effortlessly, no grit, no clumping. That's the momentous standard, the relentless pursuit of better and what you can always expect with momentous products. The benefits of creatine are real. Choose momentous signature spec creatine. This is exactly why I take it. And upgrading to the best does matter, especially when it's your body, your mind. If you want to try Momentous Signature Speck Creatine, head to livemomentous.com and use code CONFIDENCE for up to 35 % off your entire first order.

11:39Heather Monahan:That's livemomentous.com, promo code CONFIDENCE for up to 35 % off. Support for today's episode comes from Square. And they've got big news during Square's biannual release event. They launched a wave of innovative new tools to help local businesses run faster, smarter, and more profitably. From AI that answers your toughest business questions to tech that simplifies food orders and tracks every dollar. It's all live and it's built for the business just like yours. I get a text receipt in seconds. Everything is seamless, smooth, and modern. Square AI brings all your business data to your fingertips for deeper insights, faster decisions right from the Square dashboard and dashboard app.

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12:51Heather Monahan:Designed to give your local business the competitive edge you need without the complexity. If you're ready to sell smarter, run faster, and stress less right now, you can get up to$200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash confidence. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash confidence. Run your business smarter with Square. I ask you to try to find your passion. Okay, so a couple of things that I wanted to share with you today. I have been coaching this woman for maybe about a month now, and she wants to be a professional speaker. And anyways, two weeks ago, she showed me some footage of her speaking, and she looked different, right?

13:39Heather Monahan:She was reading a script. I don't like that. I thought to myself, oh my gosh, this is not her best her. So we had a talk. I said, listen, I think you should wear your hair like you always do. It's so cute and a bun on your head and you know, really step into who you are. No more notes. I want you to, even if you just forget what you're saying, it's fine. Just videotape yourself. This is how you get better. It's just like when you're in little league as a kid on day one, you're not going to be a VIP all-star, right? You're not going to be the best player on the team. Put the reps in the same way you would at the gym or on a team.

14:11Heather Monahan:And over time, you get better. Trust that process, right? No one shows up on day one. Amazing. I certainly didn't, right? The first time I spoke, I was in my early 20s addressing my sales team. And I'm sure I was terrible back then. But after years and years of doing it, competence builds confidence, you get better, and you start stepping into who you really are. And that's where the magic happens when you start just being you. So I challenged her to do that. I said, I just really want you to be you. And today we went through her new footage. Literally in one week, this woman stopped with, um, and like literally dropped it.

14:49Heather Monahan:She didn't read from a script. She was so powerful, so engaging. She looked so beautiful because she showed up as her real self and trusted herself. And that's always the answer. And it reminded me of when I recorded the audible version of overcome your villains, which if you haven't listened to it yet, oh my gosh, the reviews on it are crazy good because I stole the David Goggins idea. And at the end of every chapter, I just go off and riff and tell you the true real behind the scenes story on what's going on with that topic or chapter. And people have been loving it, super grateful that you love it.

15:25Heather Monahan:But I remember HarperCollins said to me, you know, you don't get to narrate the audible version of Overcome Your Villains. I said, what do you mean? I said, I narrated the audible version of Confidence Creator and I've had a podcast since 2019. Yes, I will narrate it. And they explained to me, that's not how it works here. You have to audition for the role of Heather Monaghan. By the way, we have a couple of really good voices that we'd like to go with, not me. I was so stressed out and pissed off, by the way. I didn't even know you could do that. Again, I had no idea what the traditional publishing world was gonna be like.

16:00Heather Monahan:So I text my friend that has a book with HarperCollins. She did the Audible version. And I texted her this long thing saying, I'm so upset. They want me to audition for the part of myself. What advice can you give me, right? I was looking to someone who's been where I want to go. Those are the people we want to ask for direction. And it was so funny. She wrote back, LOL, are you kidding me? Just be you. And her point was that if I try to be somebody else, I'm not going to be the most powerful version of myself. And if I try to be someone else on the audition and they hire me, it's not going to be who I really show up when I record the book, so then they'll be upset, the only answer is always to just be you.

16:42Heather Monahan:And I'll tell you, the only times in my life I've really fallen short is when I was in situations and work environments where people didn't like me and I was trying to get them to like me. I was trying to be different. I was becoming a watered-down, B-rate version of myself. And ultimately then I didn't like me and everything fell apart, right? So do you just be you for you and you'll attract the right people to you. You'll attract the right opportunities to you. The right doors will open for you. Conversely, when we show up as someone we're not, we attract the wrong people to us, the wrong opportunities.

17:19Heather Monahan:And I so remember, and this is so crazy because it comes full circle this week. Okay, years ago, back when I was in corporate America, this is probably maybe eight years ago. my son was maybe he was five or six. I don't know. He was little. He could have even been four. I'm not sure, but he was little. And he was in the backseat of my car, my SUV. He was in the kid's seat, buckled up. I jumped out. It was like noon on a Sunday, bright, sunny day in Miami. I jumped out of my car to put gas in. We were at a really busy gas station. I was working with a woman that couldn't stand me. I was in a relationship that I was getting the runaround in, you know, for too long.

18:01Heather Monahan:Just things were not going amazing in my life back then. I know now when I look back at it, I was surrounded by people who were essentially villains in my life and I wasn't dealing with it. I was trying to ignore it. And it was just things were getting worse and worse to get my attention to do something. And I still wasn't doing anything. So I'm pumping the gas and all of a sudden I noticed someone had jumped into my car, a man. He had stolen all of my stuff. I had left my keys, my wallet, my phone, everything in the console. And my poor little son in the back seat thought he was getting kidnapped because here this guy was, he was in the driver's seat.

18:37Heather Monahan:I was on the other side, you know, pumping gas. I was occupied with what I was doing, completely unaware of what was happening. It ends up being such a horrible situation that my house keys were gone. Everything was gone. It was a nightmare. My son was beyond distraught, right? He was so afraid. It really was a negative experience for him for years. He does not want to go to a gas station. I mean, he will now, but it's not his favorite place. He always thinks of that we got robbed. You know, the police had to come. It was just awful, really bad situation. I never stopped to think, maybe I'm attracting negative things into my life because I'm just vibrating at a really low energy level these days because I was so down about work and working with this lady that hated me and showing up as this B-rate version of me.

19:22Heather Monahan:and just, I was just emitting negativity, even though other people might not have seen it. There's no way I was vibrating on a high frequency. And I know that we all know that, that there's times in life when things are going great and you're feeling energized and things are work, like things are just connecting and working. That was not that window of time for me. I wished I'd picked my head up to look around to say, what negativity am I allowing for that is consuming my life that is dragging me down and the energy in me down. So I attract more negative of energy because that's exactly what was happening.

19:55Heather Monahan:Cut to this is so crazy. Cut to this week. We get up really early at my house. My son has to be at his bus stop at 645 a.m. The bus leaves. It's dark out at that point in time. So I'm up at 530 a.m. every day. He's up at, you know, by 6 a.m. every day. We have to leave the house by 620 a.m. So it's a little stressful in the mornings around here. I'll just put it that way. You know, you don't want to miss the bus. Otherwise, I have to drive him an hour to school and then an hour ride home and I miss everything in the morning. Okay. So we are rushing out to get to the bus. I'm being crazy, me singing in the car to my son, annoying him.

20:33Heather Monahan:And all of a sudden I said, Oh my gosh, the bus isn't here. This is the first time we've ever beat the bus in the morning. Yay. And he says, Oh my gosh, mom, you know what I just realized today's late start once a quarter, they have a day where they start an hour late to let the kids sleep in for, you know, just to be nice, I guess. And I said, you're kidding me. We raced out the door at six in the morning for a bus that's not coming for another hour. And he said, yeah, I was so steaming mad. I'm sure you can totally get it. I was so mad that he couldn't have told me this the night before. So I could have woken both of us up an hour later and we could have slept an hour longer.

21:13Heather Monahan:Right. So I was so frustrated. I just said, don't speak to me right now. I need a few minutes. I'm super upset. I look at the dashboard and we're almost out of gas. And I said, oh my gosh, we have to go to the gas station. And he's like, oh mom, really? It's still dark out. You know, I don't like going to the gas station where it's dark, it's negative. And I said, you know what, this is a different time in our lives. We're going to be fine at the gas station. Tactically, this is so interesting. I learned you have to take your keys, your wallet, your phone, and you're supposed to lock the doors while you pump your gas.

21:41Heather Monahan:Just FYI, It's a great tip, right? So that's a tactical thing that you can do to ensure you don't get violated at a gas station. I wasn't aware of that before. But then I also truly believe when you fire the villains in your life and you start stepping into your purpose and your passion and showing up as that real, authentic, true version of you, you start attracting the right people towards you, vibrating at a much higher level. And, you know, all of a sudden, you're going to see that the right people, the right things, like things just start going better for you, right? So for me, I'm like, you know what?

22:16Heather Monahan:We're gonna go to the gas station. Things are gonna be fine. Well, I pull in to the gas station and I take my tactical steps. I take the wallet and the phone and everything with me and go to lock the door. I start pumping the gas. It's pitch black out. No one's out in South Beach, right? It's no one's up that early. And in pulls a police officer on a motorcycle, so friendly saying hello good morning so nice and it just felt like he was just sent there to look over us so that my son would feel safe at the gas station that's literally what I felt and I felt so much joy in my heart pump the gas I say goodbye to him have a great day I jump in my car I look at my son and I say did you just see that and he said yes and I said what do you think and he said oh mom forget it you know whatever like he was kind of dismissing the point I was making was when we're vibrating at a higher energy, when we're stepping into who we really are, when we're doing good in the world, when we're being positive from a true place, and we've gotten rid of the negative people, places and things around us, gifts like that are going to show up, right, just serendipitously.

23:22Heather Monahan:So I said, all right, you know what, why don't I take you to Starbucks? Because this is something, you know, he never gets to do during the week. And he loves to go there. I'm like, let's go, we'll be the only ones in Starbucks in South Beach. So we park, we walk into Starbucks, We get there, my son orders, and he doesn't get cheese on anything. He doesn't do great with dairy. And the woman says, well, let me ask a question. Are you lactose intolerant? And he says, yes. And she said, well, I want you to know I'm going to be so careful to make sure I take care of your sandwich and there is not a bit of cheese on there.

23:51Heather Monahan:I totally respect that you have that issue, and I want to make sure that you have a good experience here. We look at each other. That never happens. P.S., so many times we'll order Starbucks and the cheese is on there and he can't eat it, right? So it was just, again, another moment that we're like, wow, everything is just going so unbelievable today. This is crazy. So we leave there, we get home, and we're just talking about, oh, my gosh, like what an amazing morning this ended up being, even though, you know, we could have slept an hour later, but that's fine. So then he's going to put his necklace on.

24:21Heather Monahan:He had forgotten it at home, and now we're back at home. And he says, Mom, do you want to put this on for me? And I stand up to help him and go, so you know what? No, I need to learn how to do this myself. And I'm like, good for you. OK, so he says, can you see if I'm close? And I said, no, don't play this game of is the class close? Like either do it yourself or don't. Right. Like or I'll do it. And he's like, no, I'm doing it. And then he starts saying, oh, I can't do this. I can't do this. And then he says to himself, Dylan, stop. I can do this. I can do this. I can get this clasp on. I can get this on.