How to Find the People Who Will Help You Grow, Scale, and Succeed with Stephanie Cartin

22:57Like, is everyone really this amazing? I'm like, yes, because we share upfront in how it is at Entreprenista. Like we, no one needs to be a taker. No one needs to be in it for themselves. There really is actually more abundance and more opportunity when we have conversations with each other and say, you know, what are you working on? Where do you need help? Here's what I'm working on. Here's where I need help. Who can we introduce to each other and how can we help each other?

23:23Heather Monahan:It's such a refreshing approach because, as you know, you know my story being fired by another woman. And it's so nice to see in the entrepreneurial world. It definitely doesn't feel as cutthroat backstabbing as it did back in corporate America. Yeah, it doesn't need to be like that. It really doesn't. And again, you know, we were put ourselves in the right rooms and in the right groups and invested. And when I tell you, Heather, we really invested in ourselves and our business early on. We had no business spending over$2 ,000 the day we went full time in our business to join a group. But we did because we got advice, just invest.

24:01if you invest in the right things and you really believe you can build this, the money will come, the business will come if you are serious about doing this. So we did, we put it on a, got a business credit card, we put it on a business credit card and that was the first step. And all of the people that we met were like how Courtney and I are. You know, everyone wanted to help each other. So we came from this world, this entrepreneurial world of just seeing people collaborate and refer business to each other and help each other and pick up your calls at 11 p.m. when something is going terribly wrong and we're just there to support each other.

24:37Heather Monahan:I love that. It's such a nice feeling to know people have your back. And not only do they have your back, but they can add value to you in the same way that you're actually adding value to others. And I know you see this a lot online, especially people want to take and they want, want, want from you, but there's really, you're saying to yourself, wait a minute, but what, you want to give to people where you can, but you also are running a for-profit business and you need to drive value, drive dollars and drive revenue because we all have families to take care of. It's interesting to me to see that difference because I definitely saw it at Entrepreneista was everybody wanted to, who can I connect you with?

25:13Heather Monahan:Who can I help you? I'll try to help you get clients here or there. I have an idea for you. And it's that add value and add value recipe, which is incredible. Okay, so you've talked about Courtney and I think it's important for myself, for everyone who hasn't had a, you know, a true partner in business who's been doing things on their own or been doing things on the side, how do you make a decision? Okay, this is the right person to partner with. This is how we're going to define roles. This is how we're, this is, you know, how, how does it work when you truly have a partner and you're not just the only one making the decisions?

25:48So the first step when deciding if you should go into business with someone is to make sure that one, you can absolutely trust the other person 100 % and that you are vision and mission aligned. The one area where I will use the word that I got lucky or we got lucky was just in that first meeting that we met together because we became first. Like we got lucky that the two of us just became friends and clicked. Everything else from there was work, right? It was really figuring out, dividing out our roles and responsibilities, getting really clear on that. I mentioned our business coach, Leslie, that we worked with for many years, we called her like our business relationship coach, because a business partnership really is a relationship that you have to work on.

26:31And you need to be able to have conversations. And we call them like tougher, fierce conversations, and not be afraid that the other person is going to get like upset or offended or be like, I'm leaving the business. Like we know, and again, we've worked together now for, you know, a deck almost, we're getting closer to two decades now than one decade. So we just like know how we operate and how we are. But in those early days, we didn't have the ways to know how to communicate together. We hadn't been business partners for a long time. So we invested again, and worked with our business coach, Leslie, to really help us, you know, define what these roles were, what these responsibilities were.

27:06And then again, as you see from our, you know, trajectory, like the businesses evolve, we've sold businesses, I was in, you know, I was on bedrest for six months and out of the office for six months. And that was all obviously chaotic in the business. And Courtney's now having to carry the business. So these are all things you have to talk about. And you have these hard conversations up front. We worked with a business attorney and we put together an operating agreement a couple of years into starting the business because we didn't know when we first started to have an operating agreement. But that's something I advise founders now to do is when you're first starting a business, if you're going into business with a partner, you want to make sure you have an operating agreement for all of those what ifs and worst case scenarios.

27:48And if you can't talk about those what ifs and worst case scenarios upfront, when you first start building the business, you're going to have a lot more trouble when something actually happens.

27:57Heather Monahan:It's so interesting. I have a good friend who's been in a business partnership with another woman for many years and the partnership just fell apart. And when you look back and I remember, I know both of them and friends with both of them, and they're very successful people. But I remember starting to notice the communication was faltering. They lived in different parts of the country. They didn't see each other very much anymore. You know, one person felt that they were carrying the weight. The other one felt that they had come with the idea first and that it was warranted. So how were you able to not allow, you know, a bad feeling or a word that wasn't shared or communicated start snowballing the way that I saw just happen with somebody else?

28:42Ultimately, it's the vision for what we're building long term and just knowing we're going to have disagreements. And we don't like we both know the ultimate goal. We don't, we do not always agree on the way to get there because our, our, our brains work differently and our creative brains work differently. Our financial, like everything works differently, but we're willing to let each other test and figure things out and not try to like harp on everything over and over again. So it's really just that communication and you really have to work on that. It's just like any type of relationship and you have to be, and you have to have those conversations up front.

29:22like we're probably not going to agree on everything. If we get to a point where we don't agree, what can we be doing in those moments together to have these conversations so they don't feel uncomfortable? The other thing I would say too is you want to make sure that you're going into business with someone who also is emotionally regulated. I think a lot of the challenges that I see are when people are working with someone who does not have a great experience at regulating their emotions because you're like, I am someone, if someone was like screaming and yelling at me all the time, like that just would not work for me.

29:58Like Courtney and I don't communicate that way. You're like, we're never screaming at each other. We're never yelling at each other. Well, you know, share our points and be really clear about something, but we're never going to like disrespect each other or yell at each other. That's just not how we communicate. There's a lot of people out there that communicate like that. So you need to decide early on, is this someone I can really communicate with and build a strong foundation and relationship with.

30:21Heather Monahan:And that goes the same for in corporate America, for who you're going to work for. And like you said, looking at the top of the company too, because it is a top down dictate mentality. And if people don't realize that, oh my gosh, pay attention to culture beyond just the person you're going to work for, because it will filter in and affect everyone. And there's a lot of people, like you said, that yell and are not emotionally regulated. And that is not a fun ride. that is a no, I want no part of any of that. No, I'm with you. That's I mean, that's, that's why I think when I look back, that's why I didn't go back.

30:58Heather Monahan:I initially wanted to go back. But then I remember thinking, the only way I'm going to be able to ensure that doesn't happen is if I'm the one driving the ship. And, you know, it's just, once you start taking the action steps, figuring out the problems you can solve, figuring out what you can charge for, like you said, figuring out along the way, you know, what could you package? What could you sell? How can you drive value? And then how can you replicate that, you know, at speed and in a systematic way, it starts coming together, but it definitely doesn't happen overnight. Absolutely. Okay, so let's go down your health journey, because it is such a big part of your story.

31:34Heather Monahan:It is so powerful. And I know that my audience will love to hear about it. Oh, my goodness. So I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was 27 years old. And it was right around the time when Courtney and I were first starting our business. I was actually diagnosed when I was still working full time for another company and trying to start our business on the side. And I remember when, you know, I first heard the words from the doctor that you have MS one, I didn't even know what it was, I literally had to go on Google and start learning everything about it. And what helped me was actually finding community.

32:10And back then it was through Facebook groups, which years later, when I went through my infertility journey, was where I found, you know, other people with again, common challenges that I was going through that I could actually connect with and learn from. So for me, it's like everything I've gone through from building businesses to my health journey, really everything, everything has come back to who can I connect with and find support and learn from? And then how can I help other people and, you know, pay it forward to continue to share to help other people. But what I really learned from going through all of my health challenges is, you know, mindset.

32:49Mindset is absolutely everything. And it is hard if you don't feel well. It is very hard to, you know, stay as positive as possible. And you hear people say online, like, just be positive. It's like, it doesn't work like that, right? But it is really, it goes back to business too, like just having this vision and staying so focused on what that end goal and end result is. And what are the little steps I need to do each day to get to that end result? So I always say that running a business prepared me for my complicated journey with infertility and then my even more complicated pregnancy journey.

33:27but everything has been like solved. And I've gone through everything because of community. And my daughter who just turned seven a little over a week ago would not be on this earth if it were not through community and sharing on social media, because through other women, that's how I found the support and the doctors and the information that I needed to bring her into this world.

33:50Heather Monahan:Which is incredible, biggest blessing and happy birthday to her. I'm so excited for you guys. Meet a different guest each week.

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36:08Heather Monahan:Okay, so you mentioned mindset with health and I totally agree with you. I've had a couple of my best friends in the past month have had major surgeries, unexpected, you know, not great things, right, that they're dealing with. So as you watch people in life, and you, I mean, you were still young at 27. And that's shocking to have that happen. How do you even process something like that? I'm sure there had to be levels of anger and upset. And like you said, when you're just not feeling well, like, how do you get back up the next day and say, I'm going to keep moving forward? I think for me, I've just always had this like life goal and vision.

36:46Like I and I was I had a lot of challenges, health challenges when I was growing up as well. So I was like used to always being the one that was like getting sick and not feeling well. And my diagnosis, I think finally explains a lot for me as well. But I've also always been a problem solver. So I've always looked at everything as just this challenge that I can get through because I have this ultimate vision for what I want my life to be. So I'll take you back actually to when I was inpatient at Columbia Presbyterian, where I spent 11 weeks inpatient in the hospital when I was pregnant with my daughter and did not know whether she was gonna survive.

37:19For me, what I did was I did visualizations every day and just visualized what it was gonna look like a year from now on her first birthday and what it would look like when we were gonna take her to Disney World, which we ultimately did. And I would just visualize that every day because even that practice of visualization, it just does something to your body and can really help you like feel and relax and get through. I also had positive mantras that I would just tell myself every day, even if I didn't like believe them in that moment. When you speak things out loud, I just learned that eventually your brain does start to believe them if you say them over and over.

38:03So I would say to myself, every day pregnant is a good day. Every day pregnant is a good day. Like she's still at a heartbeat. I'm still here. Like every day pregnant is a good day. and I would write. Like for me, I was writing out my journey. I was writing out how I was feeling. I was writing letters to my daughter in a notebook that I've now at seven years old, I've read to her and showed her. And I just kept my mindset as strong as it could possibly be because in my mind, I'm like, I have no other option. I can either do the best that I can do to stay strong and do what I can do to bring her in this world.

38:38My other option is to give up and that's not an option.

38:41Heather Monahan:Oh, my gosh, that is so powerful. I'm so proud of you because I know that is discipline. That is not easy. But as you said, the power of the tongue, there is nothing stronger. And visualization, I was just watching the NBA finals last night and Wemby talking about the amount of time that he spends visualizing the game ahead. I mean, it goes from professional athletes to speakers to a mother in a hospital. I mean, visualization works when you work it. And I'm so grateful you had that tool. You said something funny that I know you'll think this is funny. You said that you're a problem solver. And it's interesting.

39:17Heather Monahan:Yesterday, my son's leaving for college. He's leaving for Europe for the summer first, and then he's leaving for college. And people don't talk about this enough, or I wasn't listening when they would talk about it. You feel like you're grieving a loss. It's a strange thing. I can't explain it. I've never gone through it before. This is the first time. So I'm a rookie at this. But all of a sudden, you'll feel sad, or all of a sudden, you feel upset, or all of a sudden, you get concerned about your future. And it's, nope, he's healthy. Everything is great. Like all you want to do is get your kid to graduate, you know, to go to the next level in life.

39:46Heather Monahan:And now when you're living it, it feels like everything went wrong. It's very tricky mentally. So I went to Claude yesterday because all of a sudden I just felt sad out of nowhere and I don't get sad often. So I went to Claude, I didn't like it. And I said, Claude, what does this mean? Feeling erratic, out of control, emotionally, wondering about your future and feeling sad that your son is graduating and doing well in life? What does this mean? And so Claude went on to tell me, this is very normal. This is all part of the process. People tell you to be celebratory and proud of them. But the reality is, you know, that person's leaving your whole life and your identity is going to shift and change.

40:26Heather Monahan:And you begin to grieve before they've actually left, which is an interesting concept I hadn't thought about that way. And so I said, oh, okay, great. Now, how do I accelerate this grieving process and fix the problem? And Clyde came back to me and said, Heather, you focus on problem solving all day long in your business and you're trying to apply it to your mindset. And I'm going to recommend that you do not try to do that right now, but instead sit with it. I was like, oh my gosh, this is not the advice that I wanted. But it was interesting so often when you just see things through the lens of you, which is like, okay, I got to fix the problem.

41:01Heather Monahan:Then let's fix it. But even sometimes the answer could be to maybe sit with it for a little bit and choose to see it differently. I'm choosing to see it now as in another identity shift, like leaving corporate, like getting divorced, you know, like whatever the thing could be like being a single mom, raising a child that this is, you know, version 2.0, 5.0, whatever it may be. And getting excited about that because wow, it is, it's a wild thing. I mean, you've got a few years till Thank God, because I can't even I can't even think about it. My heart just like pounds, even the thought of the thought of her not being under our roof anymore.

41:39But it's like you will like you love watching them grow up. But then it's like, OK, now, now, what do you do? But you know what my mind goes to as you're saying that I'm in my brain problem solving for you as you're telling my class. I'm like, here's what I want to do.

41:53Heather Monahan:No, because we are we are that same way that we want to identify the problem, solve the problem and then keep moving forward. So hopefully we'll get this solved. Make sure you give me all cliff notes that you have. I'll test and try anything. And hopefully we will get through this in the best way possible. Okay. So when you look back on everything, what are those big moments for you that you can see that juxtapose? Like what I was saying for me, it was leaving corporate and, you know, writing my first book. Like when I finally knew I was going to stick with the program or, or even this moment right now, my son's graduating, I'm calming myself down, and I'm going to start doing some bigger things with my business now.

42:32Heather Monahan:Like, when are those big moments that you've had that you're like, I am really proud of me? Oh, my gosh, I feel like there's actually a lot of those moments. And something I talked to our members about all the time is like remembering to actually celebrate those moments, because we're all like on autopilot, just going about building our businesses, building our lives. And sometimes we forget to just sit back and be like, wow, I did that. That was amazing. And this, Heather, was actually advice that someone in one of our groups gave to us years ago, because we were like just going on autopilot in our business, building, building, building.

43:08And I remember this moment, we were sitting in our social fly office, and Courtney and I were in the back of the office. And we had created an office just like our mentor, Carrie that had these glass walls, because all we wanted was to have these glass walls so we could see everyone in the office. We never wanted to be isolated from everyone. And we were sitting back there. And we were looking at I think we had about 20 employees at the time, just looking out at everyone. I remember we sat there and we were like, wow, we did this. Like we were just these two young women saying with this dream and this idea to build this agency.

43:42And we sat back and this was probably about five years into the business before we actually had that moment. and looked out at everyone. And I still remember from that point on, Courtney and I are very intentional now about celebrating and talking about all of these great things, wins that are happening in our business, wins that are actually happening for our members. We have a Slack channel at Entreprenista that's called Member Wins, where anytime we see our members having wins in our business, we share links and we post about it in our employee Slack chat channel, because we are We're just so excited to see how everyone else is growing their business.

44:19It's why we created this. So I feel like now I'm in this place and space where we're literally just celebrating women and women business owners in our community every single day. And it feels so good because like I said, and like, you know, it's so easy to just go on autopilot and not give yourself credit and not take the moments to celebrate everything that we're all building and doing.

44:44Heather Monahan:It's such a great reminder for everyone listening right now. Celebrate the small wins that you have. I mean, I know for sure I just steamroll right over them because there's always some bigger goal you're chasing down that you haven't achieved yet. And it's funny, of course, in the season that I'm in right now, the other day, someone needed me to email a PDF of my books to them for another concept that we're working on for my business. and so I hadn't pulled up my books in a couple years, right? And so I pulled them up and I looked right quick to make sure I had the right PDF. And when I went to the first page, it was a dedication, both of my books.

45:22Heather Monahan:And I'd forgotten I had done this. I dedicated to my son. And there were very different messages because they're a couple of years apart. And it was wild because my son at the time has been an NBA fan his whole life, played basketball like a maniac his whole life. But my first book I wrote 2019 and obviously now it's 2026 and now he's going to college to play basketball. And it was so cool. Like I was so proud of him. I was so proud of me that I dedicated both of my books to my son. Like I had him come out and like read the dedication with me, which of course I'm sure I read some years earlier, but it's never too late to celebrate a win.

45:56Heather Monahan:It's never too small to recognize that. And especially when you stop like what you've been doing in the Slack channel and you praise and acknowledge what other people are building and let them do that publicly. I mean, there's a lot of pride around that. And it also inspires other people to, hey, I can do that too. If you were able to do that, then I can do that too. And there is just a flywheel effect when you start getting people sharing their wins and congratulating and supporting one another. Absolutely. We have that channel inside our community as well. So members are all celebrating and sharing their wins too.

46:31And then we take that and we share it out in our newsletter as well to make sure everyone sees that on our entire list as well. Because what's the point, right? If we're not celebrating and we're not enjoying what we're doing, what's the point of everything?

46:45Heather Monahan:If we're not having fun, we're off on something, right? Like we're missing something. There's something that we're not seeing. Maybe we need the partner, right? Like maybe it's a person or a system or something that we're missing, but life is meant to be joyful. And yet again, that's another thing I love about entrepreneurial communities is that most people are doing something that they really love versus I didn't really feel like everyone in corporate America was necessarily doing what they were put on this earth to do. And for anyone listening right now, stop playing small. If you've got a calling on your heart, pursue it.

47:18Heather Monahan:Even like Stephanie said, if you just do it at night and on the weekends at first, do it until you get that momentum so that you can make that leap. Stephanie, what's a business lesson and our teaching that you can leave with the listeners today? You do not have to navigate business alone. there is community and support for you. You just have to reach out and join or ask for that support and help and people will show up and be there for you. The problem is so many people don't ask for help. They think that's a sign of weakness when in fact it's a sign of strength. Yes, ask for the help. People will show up, people will be there for you and then you'll eventually pay forward as well.

47:56Heather Monahan:How can people find out about entrepreneurs that they wanna look at joining the community? Where do they go? You can head over to entreprenista.com forward slash join to join the Entrepreneista League. And feel free to reach out to me personally everywhere and anywhere on social media, on Instagram at Steph Jill Carton, C-A-R-T-I-N, and Stephanie Carton on LinkedIn. And you can find us on Entrepreneistas all over social everywhere at Entrepreneistas with an S at the end on social. Thank you so much for all you're doing. Thank you for all the transparency, for all the teachings, for all the success that you created and for doing it unapologetically, because I love the attitude and I appreciate you.

48:39Heather Monahan:Thank you, Heather. All right, guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be.

48:58Heather Monahan:succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. I'm on this journey with me.