485 - A 3 Question Year-End Reflection to Awaken Your Creative Spirit

0:02On the creative journey, it's easy to get lost, but don't worry, you'll lift off, sometimes you just need a creative pep talk.

0:21Hey, you're listening to Creative Pep Talk, a weekly podcast companion for your creative journey. I'm your host, Andy J. Pizza. I'm a New York Times bestselling author and illustrator. And this show is just everything I'm learning about building and maintaining a thriving creative practice. Let's get into it.

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2:28I can get so busy that I lose sense of the reason why I'm doing anything. I can lose track of why I wanted to make creative work, what it's about, the feeling of it, getting into the spirit of why do I care about this? It's easy to get so bogged down with the to-do lists and the tasks and the deadlines that I lose sense of what matters to me about making creative work or why I chose to go in this direction in the first place. So are you resting right now? Are you in a moment where you're taking some time off or even just stepping back from your practice for a moment, a day, an hour? If you're in that space, this episode is for you.

3:19No matter when you're listening to it, if you're stepping back for any amount of time to find some perspective about your current creative season, try to tap into what is the reason for this season? what am I currently in the middle of creatively and how do I need to lean into it to get the most out of it to make it the most enjoyable it can be to get the best results so that I don't you know just fast forward through this thing and miss out on the opportunity I think it's really important to step away sometimes it's not a groundbreaking thought you probably absolutely agree with that But when I step away, I like to take some time to reflect and set intentions before I go back.

4:11If I do that process well, I start back in a much better place than where I left off. As we wrap up this year, I've been in a place just running wild from one thing to the next, like mad, wrapping presents, wrapping up projects, shopping, hustling, et cetera, all of that stuff and everything in between. I usually at some point in that mad dash to get through the last part of the year, lose track of what the heck I'm doing, let alone why I'm doing any of this stuff. Like what is the reason for this creative season that I'm in? This episode is set to drop on Christmas Day. So we thought let's not do a Christmas episode per se.

5:03We want something more evergreen than that and something that applies whether you celebrate Christmas or not. But let's do a stepping back and getting perspective episode for when you're taking a moment or a break or a weekend or a week or even a sabbatical, maybe even. and give you some questions, some prompts to tap into the moment that you're in so that you can remember and refresh and not just think about the reason, but feel it fresh all over again. So Sophie and I are doing a Charles Dickens-inspired Creative Carol episode where the ghost of creative past, present, and future each come with a journal prompt question to inspire reflection and insight into your creative practice today.

5:56Soph and I are going to share our answers in hopes that it might trigger ideas for you and we will end with a creative call to adventure that you can work on over the next few days where you will find something to take with you from this exercise. So put on your holiday PJs and prepare for a visit from three timeless creative ghouls. Woo!

6:44Okay, this is dropping on Christmas Day. This is an episode that is holiday inspired and we're going to riff on the Christmas carol and we're going to transmutate it into the creative carol. Yes, but we like to keep Christmas in December. Yeah. And I just hope if you're listening and it's not December, this isn't like. It can apply at any time you want to do this exercise. It isn't that festive. like we look quite festive but that you know you don't know that like this is you don't need to know what we look like right now we're decked out in holiday attire what we're wearing why do they go why do they get really weird already i don't know but we are we got i got a christmas sweater on yeah um i already threw off my santa hat because it's too tight Yeah.

7:43This is about getting in touch with the reason for the season that you're in, whatever season it is, getting in touch with that creative self. And so we're going to get visited by three creative ghosts, the ghost of creative past, creative present and creative future. And they're all going to bring a question that we're going to answer ourselves in hopes that it might inspire your answer and you thinking about these same questions so that you can get back into the spirit of creativity, wherever you are. Now I will say, I created this little kind of journal prompt and I worked through it with some bullet points.

8:33And then today I woke up and I was feeling very Scrooge-like. I really was. And you're like, why don't you just go through and kind of thoroughly answer these things and just see if it gets you into the spirit of it. And it freaking did. It did? Yes, it did. I really started feeling it. And so, I mean, if I'm in a good case study for it, this might actually work for you. So let's get into it. We're visited by the first ghost of creative past. Ooh, what's the first question? What problem are you facing in your current creative season that once was a dream goal from the past? Yes, now, you've probably heard a version of this somewhere at some time.

9:17But for me, it's really good to apply this idea to creativity because it's so easy to get bogged down in the challenges and forget that the things you're working on right now that are driving you nuts were probably things you dreamt of possibly doing one day as really big or really small, everything in between. And so for me, what this brought up was something kind of dumb and simple, which was ads for this podcast. When I started this podcast, I didn't think it was possible that we'd ever reach a size where we could get sponsors whatsoever. Now that we have them, Everything, it's added all these layers of complexity because I want to serve the audience first and foremost.

10:05And so I've taken it really seriously. Like, who do we have sponsor the show? How does that work? We want to just make it a great experience. But it's also this huge gift that means that the overhead and the time commitment and energy that gets poured in the show isn't just a sunk cost. five, six years into having a show that's sponsored, I've forgotten that this once was a dream. And I'm very, I can get really grumpy and overwhelmed about managing all of the different aspects. And there's new layers of complexity with podcast sponsorship and the ways that it's evolved. And in the day-to-day, I can get so ungrateful with the situation we have.

10:52and uh so this was a good prompt for me to remember like this is this is a real gift yeah and i guess thank you for tolerating ads as listeners because you know we we're listeners to podcast too and we know no one loves ads like but it does mean that that person is making a living and it means that they can keep doing it so this sounds like an ad for an ad though like that's for ads but i but i i'm glad you brought that up because it makes me think of some of the comedy podcasts I listen to will have a lot of ads and I'll think I honestly feel when I hear that I'm like I'm glad that this person is being supported in their creativity yeah and you can press skip you can skip it yeah you can skip it you can skip 30 seconds and so when we've run into little complexities like uh about a month ago something in the back end got messed up and it meant that uh it let in more of the ads than we planned on double ads double ads yeah and that's a huge headache because we're so we try to be so intentional with it for something like that to mess up is just like no oh man it was only happened it only happened for like two days or something yeah but um it's easy to forget that these challenges were things that you wanted yeah which uh i think touches on the one that you wrote about uh spoiler sorry you only know that you only know that because it's a segue this is take two yeah it's a segue because i messed up saying it the first time roll with it that's podcasting okay yeah i i think like one thing as we've been starting to be reflective of a year which is crazy that's been a year is we've had a different year to each other yeah which is really odd as a couple and i guess it happens a lot and we do have some shared joys and we've had some shared hard things this year we've also had very different years very different themes personally and for me it's been a year of I I think something that feels like a problem I'm in the middle of now that's actually a dream I forgot is a dream is challenge like you know and in a lot of ways like part of the challenge of challenge being my challenge is that there's been that many different kinds of challenges.

13:14Like I literally started in January as a more hands-on member of creative pep talk. So for the whole year, I've been doing like this, this technical side of things, which I won't bar you with the details. They're very boring to me, but I'm a person who, you know, a year ago, like could barely send an email, right? Like, you know, I'm one of those idiots that hits reply all or doesn't, I think the last week I was emailing, this was last week. I clearly haven't got there yet. I was replying to, in a book thread with our editor and our agent and I accidentally deleted myself from the message thread and then replied as Andy, my email from Andy's email address, but signed it me.

14:02So then it's like multiple layers of, of weird mistakes. So I'm that person. So being the person that's now like in this really complicated podcast system, like uploading episodes and adding ads and titling and, and, you know, writing, there are creative parts, but there are technical parts that have challenged me. And the creative side of it is, has been connected to writing, which has been good. Like I've had a year of kind of leaning into words, like I kind of hid from words. Like I've touched on this topic in the past, but being challenged to own words. And then more recently, my challenge was taking that one step further from writing words to reading words, which who knew writing and reading were like hand in hand, right?

14:54Oh, and writing and reading. What a surprising connection. I know, but writing and reading and speaking, like, oh, who knew if you write words, you might be asked to read them. People might be like, say some of those. Yeah. And so, yeah, I've had to kind of take like quite a few steps up at the same time and get to a point where I felt like I could read our books out loud and use my words and describe what I do. And then even to the point where I just a few weeks ago did a creative mornings talk, which like I, it's a really long story that maybe I'll go into another time, but severe anxiety of public speaking meant I never saw that coming as a possible thing to overcome.

15:42and knowing that story firsthand watching just having been married to you and and know your history with that watching you do the talk I was just on the verge of tears the entire time because I just knew what it meant I don't know when I don't think the video will be out when this comes out but it will be close like it'll be out in the next few weeks but there's also a photo which I don't know if they shared or not of you looking at me and it's really cute but anyway I didn't know that. There's a photo of you looking at me speaking and it's, yeah. And I look like I'm crying. You just look like you love me.

16:17I do. Oh, anyway. Anyway. But yeah, all of that is like a big leap for one year for me. And, um, why was challenge a dream? Because that doesn't immediately make sense. I guess because it's such a contrast from where it was at. Like, so, uh, uh, for a long time I was in supportive roles of, of what you were doing, but it was much more, I was much more in it with the kids. Like it was before they went to school, right? Three kids, you know, before they're in full-time school, it takes up most of your time and, and, um, you know, without family support and stuff, it was, it was a lot of that kind of stuff was on me.

17:01Um, Um, and I think, you know, I was thinking like, I think it was 2021 maybe was when I think all of our kids were in school for the first time. And that was when it was, it had been a dream, I guess, to just have a little space to dream and to have an opportunity to like explore my potential outside of like household and and kids and, and kind of creativity within those boundaries, those literal boundaries. Um, and so I think it, it was a dream to use my brain. Yeah. Let's go on to the next ghost of creative present. Let's just say the reason why we're on take two is partly because every single time you go to say creative, you almost say Christmas.

17:56It's like you've been literally overtaken by this Christmas. It's true. The spirit of Christmas. The ghost of Christmas. Oh my gosh. You did it. It's not our fault, right? Our youngest kid is nine and they're in a local production of Scrooge and they are Tiny Tim. And so we've literally been practicing these lines. Living and breathing. We've been living and breathing the Christmas carol. And so when you say ghost of, you say Christmas. It's not as easy as it looks, is it? Exactly. I ate my words so fast. Yes, you did. Okay, you say it then. The ghost of creative present. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead.

18:41The question is, what's something happening in this creative season that you really don't want to miss? Yeah. Do you want to go first this time? No. Okay, I'll go first. so we're working on a new book i'm going to be going into what's it's super top secret so i'm not going to go into every detail but i'm going to be going into the sketching and the art phase and the thing i want to do is i want to lose my left brain logic you know responsibility money, all of that stuff. I want to put it on hold for two months. And I, you know, I can afford to do that only because I, that thing just can take over my brain for so, so much time as a, you know, working dad.

19:33And I want to spend the next few months in the intuitive, creative space, space making visual art in the way that doesn't make sense. And I, I want to do that because I can often get way into this part of the process and realize, Oh, I haven't even let myself be there at all yet. I've been trying to get it done. And so I'm going to do some of the sketches and coffee shops because that really feels good. I'm so happy for you. Oh, uh, this is, and I cry. I'm not going to, you can really i'm not i well i did but i'm not going to now um and so yeah that's i really want to just be the art side of myself yay over the next so you want to be present in the process yeah and not just chugging along in the visual art side which is the symbolic side it's the you know, dreamy side.

20:33It's the non-rational side. I want to do, I want to get back in touch with that and I don't want to miss it. Yeah. Kind of like a creative retreat, but within your own life still, but just making, making those boundaries. Yep. So that's mine. Love it. What's yours? I guess after all, I talked about, uh, dropping my kids off at school and then like loving the space to be me. Yeah. You know, it's been quite a few years now of the kids been in school all day. Yeah. And now I think we're in a season where I have found roles to contribute. I found roles to be creative. And I'm in a point where I don't want to miss the season our family is in.

21:23Yeah. Not to get too personal and kind of like random. But like right now we have a kid in elementary, a kid in middle and a kid in high school. Yeah. And it just feels like it's a really cool season where we've kind of got one of each. Yeah. You know? This is my favorite time of being a parent so far, honestly. It's not easy. No. It's probably the most busy we've ever been. Yeah. But it's really fun. They're just so freaking cool. I know. Yeah. And we're in a season where if I remember to like be open and to not kind of like be stuck in my head or stuck in what I'm doing, if I remember to really let them in.

22:08I just realized that I am so inspired by them. And I was thinking about each of them. So our oldest is in high school. And even just last night, she's doing all this theater. She's got this friend group. She was a lead singer in a band last night. And I'm just like, who are you? Like, it's just this, like a 16 year old. It's just like the, you feel they're so like on the verge between childhood and adulthood. And it's very, very inspiring as an adult to see this person form what they want to be as an adult and what they think makes a good adult. And it honestly, she blows my mind like all the time and she's overcome things.

22:58It took me literally almost 40 years to overcome and she's 16, you know? So, and then I'm middle school or like, like really inspires us with their just quiet gentleness and, and sort of their heart and their way of being able to take things in their stride like oh i just wish it's like that and you know yeah this kid's poetry and drawing like just that pure artistry that like we witness daily with this kid is very inspiring and then last but not least this kid that is the firecracker that's tiny tim and it's a funny tiny tim it's like part comedy pat improv kind of show and it's a tiny tim that's constantly trying to be the star of the show.

23:46Yeah. Um, which is so funny. Um, but you know, this kid is the kid that's like a little bit, um, like not taking life as it comes. Like they're like the kid that's like, why, why does it have to be like this? Like this is, this is like absolute nonsense. Like who made this rule and why do I follow it? And it's so inspiring to, um, to be child. Oh, Oh God, I hear my words. Inspiring to be challenged by that logic. Yeah. And it is. And, you know, like literally inspired our next book. And it's this kid who, you know, there's lots of kids books and there's lots of kind of kid conversations about what you're going to be when you grow up.

24:34Right. And, um, you know, it, it's become something I think a lot about is like, why do kids think about growing up? Like, why are they, why are they not being present? Why are we not letting kids be present in being kids? And I realized it's kind of a burden on them too, because our youngest said to us one night, I don't know if she said it just to me or if you were there, I can't remember, but she said something about, just like this really jaded idea about growing up of like, well, what is there even left to do? Yeah. Like, like everything's been done. everything's been done. Everything's been discovered.

25:13We've discovered, we've discovered everything. And we were like, you know, to hear that was like so sad. And you could see that that's the energy she was taking through life was like, I'm just doing what I got to do to get through. But there's no, there's like, there's no, uh, what's the word? Like not no hope, but there's, they didn't feel, and they didn't feel like they had purpose. They didn't see their purpose in the world. And I just thought, no, I don't want to live in a world and it inspired me this kid listening to this kid in the present moment say I don't know what I'm what there is for me to do when I grow up and so much of our work and my drive as a creative has been connected to feeling that same way when I was a kid yeah feeling like the world was given to me like a solved equation right at school and then learning with how wild our universe, how untrue that is.

26:10Right. And so that just fired us up. Yes. Yeah. And so I do think, you know, being present with that kid this year helped fuel our fire for, I won't speak for you exactly, but it fueled my fire for why do I want to be this adult that's writing kids for books? Writing kids for books? Writing books for kids. Yeah. um, what? I, that was one of those really weird moments where you're like, what happened? What does that mean? Uh, you know, why do I want to be this adult that writes books for kids? Yeah. And what am I saying to them? And, you know, no spoilers because we were not ready to share it yet, but we are working on the next kid's book and it's very much inspired by this problem.

27:00Yeah. What is there left? What is there in the world? Like what's the one spoiler though? There's a lot. There's a lot. Yeah.

27:26Are you ready for the number three? Because I can segue into it. Can you the... I don't know. I think so. I was feeling confident until you questioned it. if you can say it right. Okay. This idea of why we make books for kids gets into my last answer a little bit. So the ghost of creative future. Why is it so hard? It's really hard. Every time I say ghost of, even though I'm going into it, I just instantly want to say it wrong. ghost of creative future what's the question okay if we're being present in our lives and in our creativity this next ghost is about future which is you know ideal for the new year yep and the question is if you really lean into this creative season what could it make possible yeah this question gets at the thing that's the through line is embracing the season you're in hopefully you're taking a little bit of a break, even if it's really short, even if it's a couple days off to step back from the thick of what you're doing and get a little bit of perspective so that you can really embrace the season and the reason that you're in it.

28:44And so for me, I wanted to reflect on with this question, I wanted to reflect on what, if I really, what's the incentive to really taking this seriously and seeing the meaning of it? What could that make possible? So I was thinking about kind of related to my answer about the present. If I do really get present in this art practice that I'm trying to slip into and embody, what could come from that? Now, in the new year, we're going to talk about intrinsic motivation. We're going to talk about getting into – the next episodes are going to be about remembering why we make creative work on a self level, not an audience level or a career level.

29:38But like, why do you care about this? And, and so I, I was trying to come into this question through that angle, not thinking, oh, well, if we really crushed this book, what kind of sales could we get? What kind of, you know, what all these external markers, I was trying not to go there and instead think, you know, if I really put my taste and heart and passion into the page, what will happen. And I'll come out the other side with a book that I've been trying to make my whole life in a way. It is themes and things that I've wanted to explore and the kind of kids book that I've wanted to make, wanted to have the permission to make, because tonally and thematically, it's right in the center of my taste and not really in the center of culture most of the time.

30:36Like it feels absent. And so, and it feels weird. It's like, and so if I allow myself to go all the way in, then what's possible is I might make one of my favorite things I've ever made. And I also might make, related to what you were saying, something for, you know, for all kids to enjoy, but especially the weird kids that maybe don't feel like stuff's made for them. Um, and so that really touches on that, like why to make books for kids. Um, so that's my answer. Yeah. I think. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. I think, um, also thinking like riffing from the present. Um, I think for me this year with all of the challenges and like trying to kind of like not, I mean, in the past I would want to shy away from them a little bit or just like quit things and take the easy route, trying to hit things head on and go for things.

31:42It's taught me this kind of growth mindset of, okay, when I'm challenged, all I need to do is be present. And these are the ways that I can be present that spark creativity for me. If I lean into that creativity, what it feels, what feels possible is pretty much limited. Yeah. Unlimited. Yeah. Um, what feel possible? I can't say that sentence. What feels possible when I'm feeling that creative feeling. So for me, it's, you know, if I am in my garden or if I'm painting and like kind of getting in a trance state or if I'm going on a long walk and like letting my eyes dart around things, um, that's really being present and when I am that kind of present, I have this insane growth mindset shift that I feel, I feel like limitless and I feel infinite.

32:48And I feel like there are so many ideas that come to me that I feel like I don't need to worry about how or what, like it's all right there. Yeah. Um, and so, uh, yeah, I think I'm in this really early stage of being and doing lots of things that as long as I remember like how to ground myself in how I am inspired, it feels like all kinds of things are possible. Yeah. Um, and I've also sort of fallen in love with collaboration and, um, working with others, which is not something I've crazily ever really done or not for a long time. Um, and there's even ways that like this year, there are these different versions of me, you know, there's me as the fiber artist.