GUEST: STOP Boring Your Audience! Public Speaking Secrets! 🛑 GUEST!! Bestselling Author and Founder of Speaking School w/Eileen Wilder | Ep. 481

0:01Welcome to Do This, Not That, the podcast for marketers. We share quick tips, things you can do right now, and then we add a little bit of chaos at the end of every episode. We also keep it short, like this intro. Let's check it out. We are back for Do This, Not That, and I could not be more excited about who is here. I am being so real. So let me tell you who is here and then why I'm so excited. So Eileen Wilder is here. Now, you may know Eileen Wilder because she's one of the biggest names out there speaking about sales and about how to get people going and all this stuff. But let me tell you really why she's here.

0:39There's very few times that I go to a session and see somebody speak that, and that's not just because I'm not like some great speaker or whatever, but usually I go to a session. I'm like, this is so boring. And I do a fake phone call and I want to get out of the room because I can't take it. and I didn't know who Eileen was. I'm sitting in this room and she gets up to speak and it blew my mind. She is on, she's like on the Mount Rushmore of public speakers of anybody that I've ever seen speak. And we're going to talk today about all of that, but her story is so inspiring because she didn't like come up the ranks and be like, I'm going to be a public speaker and I'm going to teach people how to sell and do all this stuff.

1:19She has the most wild background. And for anybody out there that's like, you know what? I'm stuck in this one thing. I can never do something else. Eileen is here to tell you otherwise. She went from being a pastor for 20 years, okay? And she pivoted. And within just two years, she had a multi-million dollar business. Who can do that? Eileen can do that. She's here. I'm so excited. Welcome to the show. Thank you, Jay. I'm so pumped to be here. It's so fun. All right. So I did a horrendous job of explaining who you are because I got very excited. I was all over the place. Can you tell everybody who you are and how Eileen became Eileen?

2:01Yes. Well, primarily, Jay, I help people crush it from stage, not be boring, and install a virtual event to accelerate sales now. But close to 40, I was a pastor, like you said, and I was a pastor, but I was also super broke. So I was living in an apartment, a two-bedroom apartment, three kids. my husband was uber driving just five years ago and since that time and since we learned how to communicate help other people communicate we've done uh over about 14 million dollars in sales and now um just growing our business like crazy and helping people like crazy so super fun okay so wait let's unpack this a little bit you're in your small apartment your husband's driving an uber This is five years ago.

2:47This is five years ago. Yep. Yep. Five years ago. And what happens? You wake up and you say, stop with the, don't deliver the pizza. I got a new idea. I'm going to make a lot of money. Yeah. Well, this is so cool. I went to a conference, which I, um, I love events. And so I learned about how to do an event, like how to host an event and how to speak at that event in a way that you could sell something, especially Jay selling something premium, like a coaching consulting offer. That was high ticket. I was very nervous to do it my first time. And I got six people in my very first event, but I learned how to communicate in a way that caused people to want to buy.

3:26That's the big difference that I see between like boring speakers and speakers who crush it is they're able to cause desire from the audience to want to buy, whereas boring speakers are just like lulling everybody to sleep and therefore zero people want to buy. So I learned how to create this desire in the audience to come toward me, to apply, to get on the phone. And I did$108 ,000 in that one event. So I went from like zero nothing to being able to have this skill. And then I like did$108 ,000 and I turned to my husband and I was like, babe, you got to quit Uber tonight. We got to go, we're going all into this.

4:04And that's what we did yeah so okay so so you went to this conference you learned how to do it you start doing it and now you're making some money whatever but let's unpack a little bit for everybody that's listening is everybody that is listening they might not get on a big stage maybe they present on a zoom maybe they talk to people in a conference room a small thing or even a group of people at a cocktail party what is you know the eileen secrets to number one not being nervous uh when you speak or do you always get nervous? And then how do you capture attention fast? So people are like, yeah, I want to listen to this person.

4:40So good. Yeah. Well, let me get, let's capture attention fast. Cause most people can just with this one little move, they can instantly form a more magnetic connection with people. And the big speakers do it from stage too. So it's, it's a move called going from I to you. So when you meet somebody, normally they'll say something like, Jay, tell me what you do. And you'll be like, I, and then if we can make that as short as possible, okay, like, Jay, if I asked you, Jay, what is it that, what you do? What would you say? I have a digital agency and I sell media products. Yeah, perfect. And then as soon as Jay's done saying that sentence, if Jay can switch to you, and you'll see great, you know, networkers be able to just be like, what do you do?

5:24If we switch to you as fast as possible. That's the key to engagement. There've been studies that show that the brain lights up when it hears the word you. And this is what most speakers are not doing from the platform. So what does that mean? How do you switch to you? So when someone says, what do you do? You say, you sell digital media products? No, no, no. Sorry. So you're like, yeah, we're a digital agency and I sell media products. You could go to me like, tell me what you do oh you could say thank you you could say you know how you know how uh people struggle this is a great next this is a great like kind of follow-up line like you know how people struggle with getting their marketing to work well what i do is i install a marketing system inside of businesses that immediately drives leads or whatever you does that make sense so you're go to you know how you know how or what do you do we're going to just move to you yeah and is that what you've okay so now you start out your web presentation your talk whatever say like literally is it instantly relatable like you know you know how you have this thing that blah blah blah and then everybody's like yeah that's me and they connect that's the move yeah let me get like so let's where so let's say you're walking into the boardroom you're walking into the room walking into the platform you're gonna a great first liner here because now i can't have an individual conversation with Jay, I'm going to go to the whole room.

6:52I'm going to say, how many of you, boom, so it's in the first couple words there. How many of you, fourth word, how many of you would like to install a digital marketing machine inside of your business that's going to drive sales and leads? Somebody shout, that sounds good. So we're just going to go, that's called a universal question. Universal question, just everybody saying yes. Now, immediately you have the room right there. So now what? Now I got the room. What do I got to do next? Well, what I love to do is, so you want me to kind of walk you through like first couple moments here in a presentation?

7:31Yeah. We're going to go, how many of you? Universal question. And then this is what I like to say. I say like in today's short presentation, I'm going to show you boom, boom boom so now now the audience is like number one i've i've got command energy so they're they can relax now they want to feel like every all of us want to know the speaker is not going to waste our time yeah 100 so and if i have that command energy coming on the stage lowering my tonality how many of you okay so and then i go in the short presentation everyone loves jay a short presentation. Yes, you know, right. So in the short presentation, and it is I don't I don't care if it's not short, just say it's going to be short.

8:16Anyway, it's your presentation, you're going to boom, boom, boom, I'm gonna show you this, this and that's everybody. Now, you can almost see it in the room, exhales, everybody's relax, we're now we know somebody who knows how to drive the car is driving the car. You know what I mean? Like when you know you're in like, you're with a good driver yes you're like i can relax right okay i love this and so first of all the greatest thing you've ever said is that tell them it's short even if it's not short because i'm going to use that because it's so true i mean that's why this podcast is short but like no one wants anything long it's just no it's ridiculous too much too much it's like when i go out for dinner my wife would be like, okay, we have plans with this couple.

9:03I go, where are we going? If it's more than 20 minutes, I'm like 0%, I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm the same. I'm the same. Yeah. Too far. Too far. It's too much. Too much. And so now, okay, now you go through the things, you get everyone going. Is there like a closing thing to really close the deal? yeah yeah well and i mean and just kind of like a few few kind of peaks i've hit after that opening i hit you know my my origin story of how did i discover this digital marketing system now we're bought into tell me more now this is where you can feel the desire then i'll go into like how the system works and then as i close i'm gonna probably do a case study something that worked for me or a student and that just seals it with another story anchors the authority this dude knows what's up.

9:53And then what I like to do, Jay, is I like to close actually kind of with, I call it a Mr. Rogers ending. So I close with like a piece of literature that might be well known. It could be like a poem. It could be sometimes song lyrics. I can give you an example. But as I do that, I'll say like in closing, and then I'll share something that's meaningful. And you can almost hear the audience at the end of that go. and and then you say thank you so much for like having me the audience just stands to their feet it's like it's like a performance so wait a minute what do you close with like a sentence from pearl jam what do you mean you close with this you know that that might be that should be yours so let's write this down yeah like what are we closing with yeah like um for instance um There's a, you know, I would say pure imagination.

10:48I'm thinking of the, you know, the movie Willy Wonka? Yes. I'm Augustus Galoob. I like the chocolate. Okay. So Gene Wilde, he sings this song called Pure Imagination. Now, almost every child has heard this. Yes. So I'm kind of inspiring people in my speeches. So I'll say in closing, I would like to close with this song from Willy Wonka's Pure Imagination. And then I go right into it. And it's almost like this childlike joy, this anchored memory of pure, unbelievable, like everything's possible feeling comes across the room. So it's like it's emotion. What we are trying, what we want at every peak and valley is low emotion, high emotion.

11:33This drives the sale. Wow. I like that. I like also like Lego movie when they say everything is awesome. I'm going to use that song. That's going to be my song. Yours is going to be so on brand.

11:47Unfortunately, that's exactly right. So, okay. I have another thing I want to talk about, but before I get there, do you, you were a pastor for 20 years, so I feel like you have a cheat code. Like you don't get nervous at all. When you go on a big stage, you're like, I've done this 4 billion times. I'll, I don't care. Or do you still like have to hype yourself up? Like how do people get over nerves? Yeah. I mean, I think sometimes people, they do say that to me. they think, oh, you're a pastor. So, I mean, I think people don't, I used to have anxiety attacks, even as a pastor. So I went back one time I ran off the stage when they announced me.

12:20So I've, I've seen, I've done it all right. So yes, I still do get nervous. I've learned a couple reframes in my mind that redirect that nervousness into excitement. So for me, I have to reframe and I can give you some of those if that would be helpful, but I'm just going to reframe some of those thoughts so I can tap into an excited energy rather than a tight, rigid, pulled back fear energy. And that's what you want me to mention some of those things. So one of the things is to think about your audience, how the audience has no idea that what you know, like we do not know Jay, what you know, and what you know would change our lives.

13:03so if you as the speaker are backstage and think about the one person in the audience who was like you 10 years ago and who's like would do anything to have achieved what it is that you've achieved and to know what it is that you know and to speak to that one life and think about that life like I am that person's best hope at like achieving success then you're motivated now it's like we're getting out of ourselves and we're focusing on them. They do not know your content. Like the lack of the gap between where they are and what you know is so big, they need you so bad. So we're just going to focus on how much they need what it is that you have.

13:46And that starts to pull that has a pulling energy rather than a pushing demand energy. I love that. I'm going to use that. That's actually really, really helpful. So while I still have you, there's one topic and this is my own consultation right now. So I have never been comfortable. I want to get comfortable selling like products, if you will, content products or selling like access to videos or whatever, all that stuff, that whole world. I've always felt like I should give that away for free and then I'll sell my business services, whatever. I'd love to be, I'm being honest, I'd love to be in that business, but I feel nervous asking people to spend a lot of money on stuff.

14:33I feel like this is crap and it's not worth it and whatever. How do you get over that? How do you get over that? And is that a real thing? And like, this is your world. You're selling these products. How do you do it? Yeah.

14:51I built up conviction, but it was when I realized that your information in your mind has like inherent intrinsic value on its own, aside from you. So differentiating, like taking almost what it is that you know, Jay, like this is my energy drink, right? But like it's outside of you, your system, your knowledge, your consultative experience, your steps, your frameworks is separate from you. It is not you. It's not, and you're not even 100 % attached to that delivery. Your knowledge has intrinsic value. And this intrinsic value, if somebody gets it, is could move the needle significantly in their business.

15:33So I'm going to focus my mind on this energy, like the result of this once it hits someone's business? How much could, how much could, let me ask you this, how much could like your framework like accelerate revenue or drive sales in a business? A lot. A lot. Yes. What would be, if you were to brag for a second, what would be like a client that you've worked with or a company that like really experienced a big result? Yeah. They, they've seen multiple, you know, multiple seven figure revenue growth from like just a handful of sessions. okay that's nuts right and i and but that's and i'm like here here's my information and so that's why i'm like i'm not playing the game right well then so a great move for everybody listening is to have a vip day like just one day like what could you do with a business and one day and then what i'll do is i'll i'll kind of like price anchor that day really high and then also just give people like a special deal like normally i charge blah blah blah for a vip day normally i charge now this is like we're over well over six figures here like normally i charge that here but for you i could do this at this price let me give you an example so my vip day jay is 250 000 whoa what do you get for that what do you get for that well before i i tell you what you're going to get one day of my time for me to visit.

17:05Yeah, I know. And then I'll say, now for you in this situation, I'm going to let you into my VIP day for$100 ,000 down and 25 % of the revenue for the first six months. Pause. Which option works better for you? Well, definitely the cheaper one, but I have a very real question first of all you're worth a million dollars or more don't get me wrong but like do people do it yeah so yes I mean I just yep yeah I mean I just sold I was just on a private jet with four of them together doing a group VIP day so I can I ask you a question now I feel like I'm gonna want to one call with you do you just when you promote that do you send out an email to your list of people saying hey you want to hang with me for a day give me a hundred grand like and then you get people say yes I do I mean there was a quote I heard from my friend Myron Golden who said the offer you don't make no one can take right so if nobody knows about that if the offer isn't made no one can pay you that amount right so what I've done is like voice memo drops.

18:19So like I'll record a voice memo and then it gets blasted out to my hot, hot, warm leads. And it'd be like, Hey, Lynn's got a jet coming, like a jet trip coming up. If you'd like to take us up on this, like kind of hop on this one, we'll go to a call with somebody on the team. Yeah. So, I mean, you can swipe that aside. The point is your knowledge, Jay, your eye on the right avatar, the right business could produce multiple millions without you having to do anything. Wow. Like imagine if you met with their whole team, their whole marketing team, like say, you know what I mean? Like you had like a PMO or maybe C-suite, whoever, I don't know, a bunch of people like look at their, I don't know, you know, but you're, you're doing, I'm going through the whole business in that VIP day.

19:07Like do this, dude, now you gotta do this, install this here, blah, blah, blah. you know like you could you would crush well thank you i'm excited first of all i'm excited about you being here i learned a lot this is all amazing uh everybody's gotten get involved here so eileen wrote a book it's called move the room okay if you it's not just about speaking on stage if you ever have to talk to a small team on the zoom if you have to talk people in a conference them. If you have to go to a cocktail party, if you're nervous about going to Thanksgiving and talking to annoying relatives, Move the Room will help you.

19:44I promise you. Eileen Wilder, we're going to put all of her stuff in show notes, Instagram, the whole thing. Eileen, what else should people do to get consumed in your world? Oh, so thank you, Jay. Move the room book.com is where you can grab. It's free. We've covered the cost of the book and people People just pay for shipping. So it's our gift to you. So movetheroombook.com. Yeah, that's it. Every time we get to spend time together, I learn a lot. I get excited. Thank you. You are wonderful. And I appreciate everything you share. Thank you, Jay. Thanks for having me. All right. Wait, the party is not over.

20:21Go to jayschwedelson.com because I want to do stuff with you. I want to partner with you. When you click on the button partner with Jay, you let me know what you got going on. Work with my agency. Work with me directly. Get access to all of my free resources at jayschwedelson.com. And I got a book coming out this April. It's called Stupider People Have Done It. And all of the net proceeds are going to the V Foundation for Cancer Research. Go on Amazon. Buy Stupider People Have Done It. That way you can help kick cancer's butt with me. And if this podcast wasn't the worst podcast you've ever listened to, it might have been, leave it a review, follow the show.

21:00You are awesome. Go out there and crush it.