🥳I’M 50 TODAY!🥳 My Life Tips! (On my big birthday!): Jay’s SCOOP | Ep. 486

0:01Welcome to Do This Not That, the podcast for marketers. We share quick tips, things you can do right now, and then we add a little bit of chaos at the end of every episode. We also keep it short, like this intro. Let's check it out. We are back for Do This Not That podcast. And today I turn 50 years old. It is my birthday. And I'm not saying that because everyone's got to hit me up and say happy birthday, but you can do that if you want to. But I decided I'm going to make this a special episode because when you turn 50, you're supposed to like, you know, reflect, think about life. I don't know what you're supposed to.

0:37You're supposed to say you're old because that's true. But I decided I'm going to share the most random life tips, marketing tips, things that are in my brain that I think are important for humanity to know, or at least for just me to say out loud, because I don't know, that's what you do on a day like today, I feel like. So I want to go through a series of the most random, some are marketing, some are life, some are meaningless things that I think are really, really important. So I'm just going to start. Here we go. The first one is, and this happened to me the other night, And it happens to be all the time and I don't care anymore.

1:13When I go to a restaurant, okay, and the waiter comes over to our table. I was out there with my family. The waiter comes over to the table and we're at a sushi place and he has no pad. And he's like, what's your order? And they were like, well, are you ready to take it? And he's like, yeah, I'm going to remember it. I no longer accept that answer from a waiter. I am 50. I haven't been accepting it for a while. I do not accept it because I am not impressed by a waiter that can remember our order. We're ordering 700 different things, sauces on the side, all this different stuff. The best possible outcome is getting what it is I asked for.

1:51So even though it's slightly rude, and I think everybody should do this, I tell the waiter, I am sure you can remember it all. I know you've been doing this forever. I would appreciate it if you write it down. So life tip number one, write it down. Oh, no. Okay. Now marketing tip. I, I, all the time I come across different marketing departments that I'm working with, my agency is working with, or I consult to, and I'll suggest them like, oh, use a pop-up or put this on a subject line or do this ad on Reddit or whatever. And, um, somebody in that marketing department be like, well, I don't like that.

2:28That bothers me when I see that. Or some higher up will say, I would never respond to that. So I don't think that we should do it. You should never avoid a marketing test of any kind because you don't like something. Who cares that you don't like pop-ups? Who cares that you don't like emojis? Who cares that you don't go on Reddit? Other people do. You are not your database. The stuff that you avoid because of that is exactly what you should be testing. Now, let's get to a relationship relationship tip advice. I don't know when I learned this, but it's probably the most important relationship tip of all time.

3:08And it's any relationship with friends, with significant others, with anybody. Don't fight with history. What do I mean by that? When you are having an issue with somebody, okay, oh, you're in a fight with one of your best friends. The worst thing that you could do is instead of fighting about the thing that you're in the middle of arguing about that you're not agreeing about what you do what some people do a lot of people do is they go yeah well a year ago you did x y and z and i'm still that's still blah blah blah blah and you pull out all this stuff like a greatest hits of what that person did wrong and then what happens is you wind up fighting 10 different fights at the same time i never fight with history if i have an issue with my wife or friends or anybody.

3:57I just deal with whatever that topic is in that moment. Because when you fight with history, it can get a lot, lot worse. Okay. So don't do that ever. All right. Another thing, by the way, let's talk about another marketing tip. Your call to action buttons in your emails, on your social posts, anywhere, the long rectangular things. If they say register, if they say learn more, if they say buy now, those are all terrible. Your call to action buttons should always be written in first person. Instead of register, it's yes, count me in. Instead of buy now, it's yes, save me my 25%. Writing your call to action buttons in first person will increase your click-through rates over 20%.

4:41I know these are all over the place, but it's my birthday. I could do that. Why not? Let's get back to a relationship one. Here's what I believe. If you are starting to date somebody and you're like, how's it going, whatever. If you have to ask the person, where do we stand? Then you already know the answer. You stand nowhere. When you have to ask that question, that is a red flag. That's not good. Get out of that relationship. All right, back to the marketing stuff. When you go on social media and you use some dollars, some advertising dollars, and you boost a post on Instagram, maybe it's a reel, on meta with Facebook, on LinkedIn, and you're like, we're going to put some dollars behind this to get it going.

5:27Only spend your ad dollars boosting posts that are already doing well. You do not want to boost posts that are not doing well, and then you think, oh, it's not doing well, let's put some money behind it to have it do better. A stinker is a stinker. You should only be putting dollars behind stuff that's already catching on. If not, you are literally burning money and it's ridiculous. All right. Okay. Another thing just in general to think about in marketing is your unsubscribe rate. When you send out emails and you get people to unsubscribe and you get a nasty gram, Take me off your list. I hate you.

6:09You're the worst person, whatever. Or you get a bunch of those or whatever. Here's the truth. If you are not getting unsubscribes on the emails you're sending out, you're not going far enough. You're not pushing hard enough. In general, I don't have your B2B, nonprofit, consumer. You should not be for everybody. Your content, your offers should not be for everybody all the time. All right. You can't have people that are into you without having people that are not into you. Don't get turned off. Don't get nervous when people unsubscribe. It means that you're actually on the right path. All right.

6:45A few other things about life, and I know this is weird, but hey, I'm 50 and I'm sharing all my life secrets. The biggest one that I wish I realized is that nobody cares. Nobody cares about anything. They don't. Okay. Nobody is watching you. They're not. Your friends aren't watching you. Nobody's watching you. Everybody is too busy trying to figure out how to navigate their own garbage, okay? If anything in your life you are doing, and you are doing it a certain way because you're concerned about whoever is going to react to it or see it or whatever, nobody actually cares. you don't even care about what I'm saying.

7:32I barely care about what I'm saying. This is the world that we're in. So just do you. And this last one, I learned about this very recently, is that when you are with somebody and all they do is talk crap about other people when you're with them, all they do is talk trash about other people, right? They talk down about other people when you're with them. And maybe it's funny, maybe it's entertaining because it's gossipy, whatever. What I've come to realize is when you are around somebody like that, you just aren't the topic yet. They're just not talking about you yet, but they will because that type of person, okay, will turn on you so fast and you will become the thing that they're talking trash about.

8:19So big red flag for me in terms of humanity is when I'm around people and all they do is talk trash about other people. I'm like, this person's a clown loser nerd. I don't want them to be in my universe. And then lastly, I will share my TV watching tips for humanity on this very, very special occasion. First of all, it's also Eddie Murphy's birthday. Shout out to the Nutty Professor. One of the all-time greatest movies. Never seen Nutty Professor. 98, 99, non-100. Great movie. Great, great movie. But in general, I think it's very important for all of humanity to watch really stupid television.

8:59If all you're watching are things like Downton Abbey and The Crown and things like that, come on. We need to dial it down. We need to watch horrible TV. And what I will be doing to celebrate my birthday, which I have not seen yet, is I'm going to be watching The Reunion, which I think is out for Age of Attraction on Netflix, which is a ridiculous reality dating show. I'll be catching up on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I love Bose. I'm not on Team Kyle. I think Kyle is in the wrong these days. What else would I be doing? I will be avoiding any and all horror movies. I will never see the movie Saw or Purge.

9:42I get very scared by all of that. What else will I be doing? I don't know, but I am here to report that here I am. I'm heading into the next half of the century or whatever I'm supposed to say. And I appreciate you all. And for my birthday, do me a birthday thing. If you've never left a review on this thing, leave me a review. I would appreciate that as a birthday present. And I'd also appreciate if you go to jschwedelson.com in the upper right-hand corner, There's a button that says partner. We should collab. I should work with your brand. We should do all sorts of stuff. I should help. My agency should help you.

10:17I should give you more bad TV records. Check it out. And if it's your birthday today too, let me know that. And happy birthday, Eddie Murphy. I'll catch you at the next one. Later. Wait, the party is not over. Go to jayschwedelson.com because I want to do stuff with you. I want to partner with you. When you click on the button partner with Jay, you let me know what you got going on. Work with my agency, work with me directly. Get access to all of my free resources at jschwedelson.com. And I got a book coming out this April. It's called Stupider People Have Done It. And all of the net proceeds are going to the V Foundation for Cancer Research.

10:58Go on Amazon, buy Stupider People Have Done It. That way you can help kick cancer's butt with me. And if this podcast wasn't the worst podcast you've ever listened to, It might have been. Leave it a review. Follow the show. You are awesome. Go out there and crush it.