Sarah Douglass. Post-Wealth Search for Happiness

0:00I go back and forth from like thinking, well, is it like a contentment? I want to help people and I want to create an impact in the world. But at the same time, how do I just be happy with where I'm at? My dear friend, Sarah Douglas, sold her incredibly successful e-commerce business three years ago, achieving the financial freedom she had always dreamed of. But soon after, she found herself grappling with a new challenge, balancing her newfound success with an ever-deepening desire for contentment and a powerful drive to create impact. In today's conversation, Sarah shares her journey with disarming authenticity, opening up about her deepest struggles.

0:43We explore the unexpected void left by success, the difficulty of resisting the urge to immediately start something new just to feel productive, and her shift from chasing external milestones to embracing intentional living, rediscovering who she is as a whole being, not just as an entrepreneur.

1:06Hi, Sarah. Hello. Thank you so much for joining me today. You're welcome. So you sold your business in a big exit four years ago. Three years ago. So 2021. Oh, three years. Yes. My first business that I created was a music school, small, in the Los Angeles area where I'm from originally. I was born and raised in LA. And that was tiny, built that up from scratch and then built another one. and then was just exhausted from the service side of the business. And so I was like, I want something more hands-off and just to give more freedom, I guess, is what I was searching for. My husband and I found out about selling things online and how that works.

1:51Is that okay? And we were at dinner one night with one of his friends, and he's like, well, she's like, I sell stuff online. And we're like, how do you do that? And so she explained that she took a course on how to do it. And we're like, okay, well, let's dive in and figure out if that works. So we did. What did you sew? We first started by selling camping gear, like camping equipment, lightweight camping hammocks. The brand we created was Wise Owl Outfitters. and we kind of saw the aspect of where the idea of camping came about was I went camping a lot as a kid and we went on a backpacking trip my husband and I in like 2014 I guess with friends of ours and we spent like$2 ,500 on camping gear and we're like that's a lot of money to go and like enjoy nature and the outdoors and it shouldn't be that much and so we're like let's make something really high quality for an inexpensive price so anybody can enjoy it and so we started with camping hammocks that at the time the good quality ones were around a hundred dollars and we sold them for 35 or so um and so it was a lot of like back and forth to china and that's cold like through the process of that but so you expected it to be easier and to get more freedom out of it comparing to the music school but then you had to travel to china all the time Yeah.

3:18So the freedom part of it was like, I wanted to be able to do what I wanted when I wanted was kind of my definition of freedom without restraint. And I did get that. I also got, I mean, it was a lot. It was a lot of hours working. It was a lot of, a lot of late nights, a lot of, especially late nights dealing with China. We did all of our sourcing for that brand in China. and we launched the company the same month that my son was born. So that was my, yeah, that was my now eight-year-old son, Lincoln. We launched it in September, 2015. And so then it was kind of a whirlwind in addition to moving.

4:04We moved up to the Seattle area and then we were there for a couple of years and then moved to Nashville. And then right after we moved to Nashville. My daughter Adeline was born. She's now five. Um, so it was young, very young children moving cross country in addition to building a company when we really had no idea what we were doing. How did it feel building a company with your husband? Um, it was, um, challenging at times for sure. Um, he was very good at, um, like the design aspect of things. So he was really helpful in that. Um, technology wise, it was kind of my strong suit. So I kind of fell right into that, um, having to do with things constantly changing in the e-commerce world and having to adapt and, um, and all that.

4:56So it was a, it was a whirlwind to say the least. Um, he really stepped up as a dad, um, to be able to be really involved with the kids and he's an amazing father. Um, Um, and so that he was able to really, really step up so that I could do the things like going to China and he was able to be with the kids without me worrying about it for, you know, 10, 12 days while I was away. Um, and so between the two of us, it worked out very well in the end. Um, he now gets to paint full time. So, uh, he's an artist, he's an oil painter. He's always wanted to do that. And so when we sold, um, that brand, we were like, well, what do you want to do?

5:37And he's like, I want to paint. And I said, okay, great, go paint. And so he paints full time. So he's just in his studio painting all day. Okay, so let's go to that moment when you decided to sell. Why? Okay, so when I decided to sell, I was one person that like, I was that, I'm never going to sell my company. I love my brand. I love what I created. And I truly did. And I still do, actually. But I was listening to a podcast by Moise Ali, who did Native Deodorant. He created Native. and he said in the podcast something about, um, he was asked the question of like, why did you sell so quickly? Like your, your company was just skyrocketing going up.

6:18Why did you sell? And he's like, cause I had all my net worth in my company and anything could happen at any moment. And if something happens, like there's, it's gone. And I was like, Hmm, I have 90 % or more of my net worth in my company. Like I didn't have money. I had a business. Um, but it all goes back into it. Like any business owner knows all that money goes back in. We bootstrapped it. So we didn't have any investors. We owned the whole thing a hundred percent. Um, and so it was, you know, from the beginning of everywhere we could get money from, it was piled into the company. So you basically wanted freedom when you started the company and then you wanted financial freedom when you already you had it.

7:01And that's why you exited. Yeah. And so it, it kind of was the point of like, we need to, I don't want to have all my eggs in that basket. And, um, yeah, it was, it was also, I think, um, as a, as an entrepreneur and when you're in that phase of building something that's growing really quickly, um, your mind is completely wrapped up in that. It's not, it's not elsewhere. It's not on, let me, you know, let me take time to prioritize, you know, my kids in addition to prioritizing my relationship, in addition to prioritizing my business. There's no prioritization of anything, except there's no building a business.

7:40There's zero balance of any kind. And, um, I don't think I realized that even until after it wasn't part of my decision-making process of why I want to sell. Um, but so yeah, uh, then I started down the process of selling. And it was a very quick turnaround of once I decided, I'm like, this is what I'm going to do. Um, it was like November, I think of 2020. And then right after that, um, I started down the process, getting everything done. And we got, I think to market in February or March and we sold May, I think May 14th, we closed. Wow. That is fast. It was very, it was very fast. Did you have a banker helping you?

8:19Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We went through a whole process and created the whole deck and all that. I just pushed it very quickly through. I was like, I, there was something in the universe. I'm like, I have to sell my company and I have to do it now. Now looking back at it, we sold at the peak of the market. I mean, in terms of our types of business of what we did. So financially, no regrets, I assume. No, I have no regrets financially. I actually have no regrets in any regard when it comes to selling my business. I know a lot of people kind of have that. At the same time, I'll say, I'll take it back. Um, um, the company that bought us, and I can say this is it's, um, they're basically just declared bankruptcy.

9:01Um, and so they're going through that whole process and that's a whole new learning curve of like figuring out how does that even work and what does that mean for my, my brand? And how did it make you feel That they declare bankruptcy? Yeah. You know, I would say looking at what they've done to the brand, it makes me a little sad. Because I can look at, like, they killed the website. They put it all in this massive website with other brands mixed together. Like the brand itself, they've kind of killed, which doesn't feel great. At the same time, I wouldn't go back and change anything, like knowing what I know now.

9:43I'll say you can't go back and change anything so I'm like what's the point of thinking I would buy it back at a very discounted price I mean they've messed it up pretty good but you know I would buy it back I mean I have all the it's pretty simple to build it back up I think to what I would want it to be and so it would be kind of cool to be able to do that I've heard now since like a lot of people do that and I'm like I didn't even know that was a thing I heard quite a few stories yeah yeah people doing exactly that um great um so let's go back to that moment when you sold sure how did that feel that so I was actually at a mastermind in um Arizona I think with a group of people that I've been with for a while and I was closing that day and like the day I had to sign the paperwork so I wasn't even like home with my husband it was kind of weird I was like I feel like I should be home right now.

10:38But the timing just happened to work out that way. And, um, I remember I was sitting on the side of the pool in the backyard doing all the paperwork. Like it's all just digital. You literally just click through some things and like sign something and you're like, okay, you don't have your company anymore. And it was just this overwhelming feeling of like gratitude and like, I don't know, almost awe of like, I can't believe that I'm actually here. And like, this has happened and that this has been done. Like it was very surreal, I guess is the best way to put it. Um, and that's how I felt. And that's how I felt for the next several days of just like, I'm just so grateful.

11:20It was like I could breathe for the first time in a really, really long time. Um, and I, I never really felt like I needed that like sense of security, I guess. Um, I always had this like internal sense, like no matter what happens, I'll be fine. And I still have that sense of like, no matter what happens, I'll be fine. But to just not have to like feel like I have to go, go, go, go, go, go, go, no matter what. And I have to provide and I have to like that sense, it was just kind of gone. And I'm like, whoa. And so it was like a breath. It was like I could breathe. How do you feel now about it?

12:02How did the three years go in terms of your feelings about selling the business? The three years. It's been a wild ride for the last three years. Right after I sold, it was a lot of like, it wasn't just like, oh, I sell now. Everything's done. It was now, okay, now I have to transition everything over. I have to, you know what I mean? There's a lot of like checklist items that have to be done. So it was about the end of 2020, I guess, when I had gotten everything completely over. I sold 100%. So everything was transitioned. I should say also, I still had my company. So I just sold one brand that I had, but I still had another.

12:46So I have like a supplements health and wellness brand also that I still have. I still have today. Um, but I still had that then as well. And so I still had a team and all that. And so I thought, um, cause people had warned me, like, make sure before you sell, like that, you know, what you're getting into and like talk to people that have done it before. And there's something that happens afterwards. And I'm like, okay, I'm like, well, that's not going to happen to me. I'm like, I still have a company. It's not like I'm just stepping away entirely. something definitely happened to me. I kind of got to this point, I don't know, probably after things kind of settled from the sale.

13:26And I was, I guess I had time, I guess when I started to have some time where I started to realize like mentally and physically, I was not in a good place. and it took some time to figure that out and I started going to doctors and trying to find like what is happening with me I'm extremely tired all the time I had like just headaches mental I don't know a lot of different stuff going on yeah and started seeing some people and I had like severe adrenal fatigue and exhaustion and like things they're like you need to chill out and stop and And I'm like, okay, like I didn't realize how physically exhausted I had gotten.

14:13And just completely burnt out from the years. And it's, yeah, it's not just the years of building this business. It's also the years before that. And it's just a lot from when I was young. So a lot of years of working very hard, I guess I would say. And so after all that, then the mental part kind of kicked in. I started looking at my life and going like, so I've done all the things that I was supposed to do that I thought I was supposed to achieve in life. I did the, you know, I've got the family, I've got the kids, I've got, you know, I've got the big house, I've got the car, I've got, you know what I mean?

14:55I can travel, I have the freedom, I can do anything I want. I have all those things and I checked all the boxes and those are all the things that are supposed to make me happy. And yet I feel just not happy. It was just this feeling of like, is this all there is? Like, this is life. This is everything that I've worked for. And I'm just like, this can't be it. This has got to be something different or something more. And so that really hit me hard. And like for a good year and a half, probably, I was not in a good place. like as, and I mean, from the outside, people are probably like, Oh my gosh, everything must be amazing for you.

15:38And I'm like, yeah, no. And so it's something that, um, I think people that have not exited or have not gone through a huge event like that, like athletes, I think go through something similar. Um, and people say it's identity. I don't know if I would identify it as identity personally for myself. Um, it's more of just like, everything that you've been taught about the world of what is supposed to do something for you or bring something. I don't think, I think it was getting to the point of like, oh, that's not it. Those aren't the things. And, um, Jim Carrey has a quote that kind of sums it up so beautifully.

16:21And I'm, I might butcher it, but it's basically like, I wish everyone could get rich and famous and have everything they've ever dreamed of so that they could realize that that's not the answer. And I'm like, yeah. One of my favorite quotes too. So true. Yes. But you have to live through this to understand. You do. And so trying to find other people that can get that, it's great to be able to meet people like you, like you that can understand. Thank you. Yeah. So today, what do you think it is that was missing in your life? You said it's not identity. Yeah. What would you call it then? You know, I'm still trying to figure it out.

17:02I think some type of spirituality or higher power of some type. Um, I don't know what the word is. Um, I go back and forth from like thinking, well, is it like a contentment with how things are? But then I go, if I'm just content with how things are, how am I going to make the world a better place? And how am I going to help people if I don't have that drive inside of me? So it's this real kind of like dichotomy that goes against each other of like, I want to help people and I want to create an impact in the world. But at the same time, how do I just be happy with where I'm at? So I'm still trying to figure that out.

17:42Do you have the answer for me? Well, I think spirituality is the right direction. That's what helped me a lot. I think there are answers out there. They are hard to find, not because they're not out there, but because they're often wrapped up in either religious or spiritual texts. And sometimes they're hidden in, you know, behind various memes that are more like band-aids. Yeah. But they don't give you answers necessarily. Right. But for me, at some point, I set up a different lifestyle, which I call spiritual fitness. And I just realized that as long as I have a direction, a clear direction, how to grow into a better person who is both content and has a meaningful, impactful and purposeful life.

18:36Once I have that general direction, then my responsibility is just to have the right lifestyle. Like if you think about physical fitness, right, it's not that different. Yeah. So once I figured that out for myself, I kind of feel I'm getting there. And that gives me a lot of contentment and satisfaction. Yeah. But it took time. It took me 13 years after the exit. But the exit was definitely the catalyst. Yeah. No question about it. I don't think I would even be there now without it. So I'm grateful to the exit. But I wasn't grateful on day one like you were. You're a more spiritual person than me.

19:15Yeah, well, I felt that at the beginning and then I went nice and down on a roller coaster and it's been a roller coaster ride for the last few years. So tell me what worked and what didn't in your search for that answer. Yeah. So I did a lot of different things and I feel like I've kind of been on a searching journey of some type for several years now, even before I sold. Um, I've been to different like personal development events to try to see if maybe, and I've gotten a lot of, a lot of like helpful benefits out of that. Um, and that, that has helped me a lot. Um, being around people that can understand and have those conversations, um, of digging in deeply on different subjects around spirituality or around development in some way, or how to help find a better version of yourself, I guess.

20:10Um, coaching has really helped me. Um, I have a great coach who has kind of been able to dig in and kind of, I don't know, help me, help me see past myself. Um, I think is probably the best way to put it. Um, and then exercise, getting healthy physically has helped me, um, making sure that I feel good mentally versus, or feel good physically instead of like mentally. It helps me mentally when I'm that way, I guess that's the best way to put it. But yeah. So most people I talk to, their main question soon after an exit is what's next. But for you, it sounds like it's more of a question, what is my life about?

20:53What I want my life to be like. Yeah. Is that correct? Yeah, it is. It's really not. And people have said that, like, what's next? What are you going to do next? And it's not that I don't have options. I've got all kinds of options I want to do next. But I want to intentionally live my life in a different way versus just do what I think I should do. And it's so easy to just go back in that pattern. It's easy to go in and just do business and to just work. And like I can outwork anybody. I have no doubt about that. but doing it in a way that, um, I do have a higher purpose in some way and something meaningful, um, that I care about is more important to me.

21:38Um, and so the things that I am looking at now, I mean, I've, I've looked into a few different things in terms of like investing where I'm like, I kind of like it, but I kind of don't. And it's digging in deeper with that where I'm like, I'm understanding something for the first time. I didn't grow up with money. So like, trying to understand money as a whole topic in itself, um, that I've kind of dove into that. I don't feel like I'm very good at. Um, I feel like I'll get better at it over time and then just understanding it. Um, but I do love helping people. That's something that I've always done.

22:14Um, and that I will continue to always do. I think my whole life, um, being able to help them in whatever way I can, either with, if that's changing their mindset on something or getting them to think a little differently, um, or helping them in something that they're stuck on. Um, my family, I do the same thing with as well, but, um, I do want to get back to doing something in business. And so there's a few things I'm looking at right now that are kind of exciting to me. Um, and just over the past like month, I've had probably six different business opportunities come up that I'm like, the universe must be telling me something like it's time to get back into it.

22:54Um, I, I tried like a year and a half ago, I had all these ideas. I'm like, okay, I have all these things I need to jump into and do. I'm going to start three new businesses. And, um, a couple of groups I'm in, they're like, are you sure? Yeah, I need to like, it's been too long. It's been a year. You know, I was, I think it was like a year and a few months. I'm like, it's been, it's been almost a year and a half. I have to get back into it. And I was just forcing myself and forcing myself. And I'm like, this is not, this is not good. I don't like this. And then I was like, wait, why am I doing it?

23:26I'm like, I get to decide if I want to do this or not. And I'm like, it's not the time. It's not the right time. But isn't it crazy how our comfort zone is starting a new business, burning out, not having a balance, but it becomes our comfort zone. And I see it again and again, I made exactly the same mistake. I mean, you're not making the mistake, but I did because I jumped right into back into the business and it took me years to understand that I did it because that was my comfort zone I couldn't tolerate boredom I couldn't tolerate emptiness and talking about identity I also couldn't tolerate not having a clear identity which is really you know very egoistic selfish thing and I'm very happy that I don't have that problem now but I remember was very important.

24:14Um, and so many people make, make exactly the same mistake. And then fast forward a few years now that I've seen so many people at different stages, I can see how they would be saying, really, why did I have to do that? Yeah. Makes no sense. I just got out of that, um, rat race. Yeah, I know. So I am, I am doing better at like listening to myself more, I think, and asking myself like, how does it's actually feel, which sounds maybe a little cushy, but I'm okay with that. So going back to your motivations. Yes. So freedom was a huge motivation. Yes. Then you got the freedom and then you were like, okay, is that it?

24:55Now what? Right. And now it sounds like the word helpful is important for you. So you want to be helpful and you feel that would give you more satisfaction in life. Yeah, I think it will. And I think it does. anytime I do help people, I do feel better overall. I feel like there's some, I don't know, there's some higher purpose that I'm here to help the world in some way. Um, I don't know what exact purpose that is. I'm still trying to figure that out, but I'm open to figuring that out. I think I've, I've let go of like the need to, I have to figure it out right now and then just go like, you know what, I will do things and I'll figure it out along the way.

25:36I don't think it's something I can force, which I'm used to being able to force things and make them happen and bend the world to my will, as my husband calls it, where I'm like, I'm a little more letting things happen, but still trying to help in some way if I can. So most likely when you decide to jump into the next thing, it will be something where you would be driven by this desire to be helpful and clarity as to how exactly you can be most helpful to other people. Yeah, really. Yeah. Yeah. Brilliant. So it's probably more about your purpose than your identity. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's more about that.

26:20I mean, I'm sure there's some, I think just it's human nature to have some form of identity wrapped up in just who we are. And I'm sure there's some of that. I just haven't quite figured that out yet. Yeah, but I think at this stage, my observation at least is for people who really found that fulfillment in their lives, they found their purpose first and then identity happened. Sure. While early in life, most of us, me included, were thinking identity first. Right. And then, you know, everything else later. but talking about spirituality to me it's basically the process of growing from being selfish and self-centered into being selfless and that's the journey really and as we become more and more selfless if it makes any sense we actually become more fulfilled more whole but it takes time to find that place yes I think it does so how did you balance motherhood with all of that oh I didn't like I did not do a good job at that I don't think um I think I've always done a good job at giving my kids like unlimited love and and care and um and support um but I've never been one to like shy away from working with my kids with me um I did a presentation not too long ago and one of the slides that I had on it.

27:55I was going through pictures and I have all these pictures of me with my kids literally on top of me where I have a computer in my lap or I'm sitting at the desk at a computer most of the time on the couch in my PJs, like with my kids climbing on top of me while I'm trying to work. This is a remote business. So my whole team was remote. It was, I worked from home the whole time. Um, so I was able to be around my kids, which I loved. Um, but you know, going through all that, it's a lot. Um, so to try to, try to build a business and do that with very young children, especially as they get older, it gets easier, obviously, but, um, it was very hard for a lot of years there.

28:34Um, and going through all the challenges of, of being a new mom and, um, you know, I don't know all that in addition to all the hormones and the insanity that happens in business and the challenges that you run into. Um, I don't know. I don't think I did a great job at the same time. I, I absolutely love my kids and I have spent a huge amount of time with them. It's not like I haven't spent time with them and I was always around. Um, but I definitely could have done a better job. I'm sure. Well, everybody could have done a better job. Yeah. But I can very much relate to, to what you're saying, running a business and having kids is extremely hard.

29:18Like for me being present was super hard that was very hard switching from being obsessed yes about your business onto and I was I was obsessed with my business you had to be from the you know I would dream like I would have a problem and I would dream and I would have a solution in my dream and wake up the next morning go like I figured it out because I dreamt the solution like it was 24 hours a day in addition to now I have children hanging on me all the time needing my attention which I would give them. But at the same time, mentally, like you're saying, it's, yes, I wasn't there mentally with them as much as I would have liked to have been, for sure.