Alex Bowen | Extraordinary Life Stories

0:07Alex, thank you for joining me. Thank you for having me. Tell me, who is Alex Bowen? It's a very difficult question. It's the hardest one, don't worry. Yeah, I mean, if I had to look at myself now, I'd just say, like, loving husband, father. And do you know what? I'm just one of these people that's very positive of pretty much everything that I can be. Have you always been like that? I mean, yeah, ever since I've been a kid, I've kind of, like, growing up, I didn't really have my dad or anything like that. so it was pretty much just me and my mom then I had like my granddad was my father figure so he kind of taught me his values so I think I'm quite like old-fashioned in that sense like the way like respect women and like just being there for your family and stuff I'm quite like that so yeah the positivity is a constant and authenticity as well they're the sort of things that came off everything I've watched and listened but you've had a life kind of I guess before Love Island and after but you haven't actually changed there's nothing that's distracted you or changed that those sort compass if you like yeah to be honest I think that's why like me and Liv we was on it like a decade ago I mean that's crazy to say um but I think we've kind of like kept going and kept working because we haven't changed who we are and I think some people kind of fall off that yeah um so being authentic is key really of like just progressing in life I guess so because one of the things I wonder your perspective actually on Love Island you were the second series and ultimately I believe the only couple to have gone on and married from for the show.

1:35Have I got that right? At that time, yeah. I think there's maybe two, two or three now, I think. Okay. Well, we was the first, I'll tell you. Yeah, of course. But there's, for me, you're, I don't want to say normal guy because what's normal, but you're grounded, you're good company, you're someone that, you know, clearly, I would say your friendships are solid, whereas there's people that I would feel have come through in more recent times where are they being chosen to be extreme, to be different, to be kind of more click-baity for viewership? For the viewership, yeah. Do you follow it? Have you watched that?

2:06Because it just feels like that's crept in. And I think maybe that's where some of the original people that went on have built such a following and been able to go on and achieve new things. I mean, I think when we went on, I didn't really know what the first season was. And then the message me on Instagram a couple of times. And then I remember I was scaffolding at the time. And it was raining. And I said to my baghuffer, I was like, ITV's messaged me. And he was like, what? And I said, do you want to go on the show? And then I just ended up going on. but we didn't realise what we'd get when we come off here so there was kind of like that innocence there I guess.

2:39That worked for you right? Yeah I mean to be like. There was no agenda? No there was nothing yeah like I mean I went on there for a laugh and a suntan and see what happens do you know I mean that was like my mentality back then but then obviously I found my wife on there and it's like with like previous Love Islands like the later versions like to me when people say it's not authentic anymore there's going to be people that go on there for the people say the right or wrong reasons but if they want to go on there to better their life and better their career and maybe get make a face or a name for their self then I don't really think that's a bad thing does it take the authenticity away from love island being like just about couples maybe a little but I don't think you can go against them people just wanting to better their life I guess no and it sounds like you went into it totally open-minded again without any kind of agenda did you then realize upon coming out that you had a massive opportunity to harness things you've never been able to do before?

3:31Yeah, so my friend was looking after my Instagram account. And on the day of the final, my Instagram, I mean, Instagram was fairly new back then. It went up like 250 ,000 in a day. And my friend, when I was sitting at him, he looked at me and he said, what have you done? And then I knew some people in the industry anyway, and they said, you've done really well. And then, yeah, it kind of just went from there, really. And I think having lived by my side, we was there for each other, experiencing like everything that come our way together. We wasn't on our own, so we kind of had that support system there.

4:00That's a really good point, actually. I was thinking about this with you and Liv. People that meet and then date, maybe go on a meal a week or what have you, you were like, the intensity. By the time you came out, you knew each other so well. There was kind of nowhere to hide. Yeah, well, it's like 24 hours a day. You haven't got your phone. You haven't got a watch. There's no clocks on the board. You don't know the time. If you're meeting someone on the outside and you go out for a dinner once a week for six weeks or six months, whatever, I was in there for six weeks, 24 hours a day, sharing a bed with that person instantly.

4:30With the whole world watching it. I mean, to be fair, you kind of forget that as you're in there. But yeah, everything's just magnified by times thousand. So coming to that, so you got to know Liv and you got to ultimately have a friendship and relationship that's blossomed, right? And we'll come more to that. But you now come out and you have probably been intrigued about what might be happening out there to then realise it's become big. Who's looking out for you then? So you've got your mate looking after your Instagram. but now all of a sudden you've got all sorts of opportunities you've got you know um job opportunities and I guess that the the tv star that becomes an influencer opportunity how do you manage that um to be honest I was very lucky I mean I went out with a different agency and I did well at the time but my new agent now he's over there he's pretty good Megan let's name it Megan and Freddie Freddie yeah Freddie I was with from the start but yeah like I think it's good to just have like we're kind of we're friends as well do you know what I mean like so it's a Trust.

5:26Yeah, it's like a family thing and a trust thing, so that's really helped. But obviously people that come off the show, someone just wants to earn money from you. Do you know what I mean? And I guess that's the name of the game, but we've got that good connection with our agency, so that's really good. I was going to ask you that. So take Freddie and Megan as examples. So you've got all this coming to you. There's also stuff you potentially like to do. You're big into your fitness, so can I influence that part of my journey to be able to have fitness as something that I can then make money out of?

5:55Yeah. So how, talk to me about that sort of process, you know, and is it really intense? Have you got to make those decisions in days, weeks from the show? Because there's so much limelight on you at that point. Yeah, to be honest, I think the reason me and Liv have like carried on and continued, we've kind of said no to jobs that doesn't align with us. Like sometimes like if you want to do well and earn money, I get that. So it's not about the money, it's about longevity. I'm not going to say that we haven't done jobs like for the money because we have, but if it's something that I really don't agree with, I'm not going to do it.

6:23And then when it comes down to my fitness aspect, I was training people before I was scaffolding. Back in the day, that was always my passion. And then obviously this wild ride that we've been on for the past decade, it's been amazing. But now I'm reverting back to that passion. So obviously I've started my own fitness company. DJing? Yeah, DJing. I mean, to be honest, that was kind of like for fun. And then I ended up getting booked and more booking scum. Isn't that the best way? That's my point. Yeah, exactly. Because you've got a following. You can do something you enjoy and actually then people know who you are.

6:52like you're talented at it and then you can actually get booked for it. Yeah, I mean, what I love to say to people is, like, you've got to say yes to every opportunity you get within reason, as long as it aligns with your values. Because if you say no, you could have met someone on that shoot, even though that shoot didn't work out, for example, but you've met someone that's going to take you somewhere else. So I think you've always got to say yes to every opportunity you get, really. So there's momentum there. And I think that was going to take me to almost staying relevant. So that's what it feels to me like you've done.

7:21you know and and it was like you say a decade ago you were on love island and we're talking about it now but there's so much more you've done and i want to sort of fast forward to future you know what is it you've not done yet that you would love to be able to do do you know what i'm pretty i'm pretty simple like i love just having me my wife my son now i'm gonna i've got a little girl on the way i like going to like the local pool with my friends enjoying that i like the simple life from that kind of thing from a work point i want to try and build my fitness company as big as it could be and I'd like to do another TV show if it was right but I'm not sure what I would do.

7:54I'd like to do SAS because I just feel like that would be a challenge. You'd be good at that? Yeah, I won't be able to do the jungle or anything like that because I'm, no. We need the critters. That's not for me. I want to talk about the confidence element, right? So I know there's a part of me, I'll never know, right? But I know there's a part of me that if I'd been given the opportunity to go on Love Island at, you know, my mid-twenties, I reckon I'd have f***ed myself and probably said no. And why? The fear of judgment. the um the whole lacking the confidence to do that was there any part of you that because any part of you that sort of doubted yourself we just went as soon as opportunity was there you went straight in do you know what i always people think that i'm like really confident whatever and i'm like i'm not that confident i just don't like losing or like my mind beating it beating myself really um so i kind of think that like i said before you just got to take every opportunity and i just hated saying no and i mean to be honest i was so scared when i went in oh you were that's good to know I was very scared when I went in but the fear of regret and not doing something feels like it's more of a drive yeah because then I'd have to live with me thinking I should have done that why didn't you just do it yeah because sometimes like even coming here today you get a bit of jitters like thinking what we're going to talk about but then as it happens like you're settling I mean I feel comfortable fine but a lot of people are scared to get to that stage yeah yeah it's the whole put yourself out of your comfort zone it actually builds growth and resilience and talking about talking about that pre-Love Island scaffolding so you've got a phenomenal physique proper framing scaffolding is obviously a very labor intensive job if you like yeah i imagine you were super good company on site right which is carried on to right now yeah um but tell me i know that there was a really dark time for you your mate joe took his own life and i know from my own background in property and construction that the stats in construction are awful in mental health particularly from a male point of view have you kind of you know i'm taking into a dark place but have you sort of seen any improvement of that the mates you had from old are they is there any kind of a glimmer of hope that that's getting a better place to be in an environment that's nice to be working in or is it still a tough place to be um i think it's still a tough place to be because it's tough work to do do you know what i mean um long hours it's not a lot of pay yeah it's not a lot of pay and i think that's the thing like the climate's just getting worse like it's harder to buy a house of your own and being in that industry like money at the end the day money doesn't buy your happiness but it does make the world go in and takes that stress away from you um so i think it all boils down to that the sort of male man-to-man conversation which we're having now i think there's there's an element of say 10 15 years ago if we'd both been playing football last night or been in the gym and i've pulled my calf i'll talk to you about it i said oh this really hurts but i won't say i'm struggling with my relationship or i've got mental issues where do you sit with that because i feel like i could talk to you about anything and I've only just met you.

10:41You've got that vibe about you. I'm like that. Have you felt that changing in your friendships with guys? Yeah. When I lost my best friend, it was like the hardest thing I had to go through. And I think when it comes down to our friendship group now, we check in with each other more. But what annoys me the most is it took my best friend to die for us to think that way. And that's why, I mean, I was starting to do some challenges and stuff, but I couldn't because I got injured running or whatever. So I kind of took a step back. But I just wanted to spread more awareness to it because to be honest, it was like an annoyance that it did take my best friend to die for us to like kick us up and do something about it.

11:17I do get that. But yeah, like with our friendship group now, we will check in with each other and say if someone's quiet in the group chat, we'll be like, I'll text him and it's like, it's really like minimal. I'll say like, right, mate, how are you doing? And then he'll be like, yeah, I'm okay, you? Then I'll ask him again, no, really, how are you doing? Then that gives him like a little like glimmer just to say, oh, he's actually checking in on me to see how I'm feeling. And me and my lad spoke about that after we lost jail, just checking with each other more. That's awesome. Have you had any experiences where that's opened someone up a little bit?

11:48Because I imagine, and I want to come out of this now, but I imagine there was that almost guilty best friend. I didn't see the signs, I didn't know, and that's not a reflection on you at all. I know people that have got that and I'm close to something similar that happened that, you know, it shocks you and then you can feel weirdly guilty. But have you since doing that and practicing that, had anyone come back and say, actually can we can we catch up with me i've got someone to talk about oh you've seen that validation on doing that yeah 100 % like uh one of my i'm not obviously i won't name them but they've gone through a few different things like spitting up with girlfriends or whatever or losing the house and stuff and like that's when you know that someone needs your help more so than ever especially after we've already lost someone in our group so i think we're very lucky for our lads group like that we we've been through it so we know how to kind of like react to it and see when others are down yeah because like you said like lads act differently to ladies yeah and i think some of the lads that you know and actually without it being you the guy that can often be coming across as super confident and uh you'd never think it was him sometimes they're the ones you have to look out for really what do you do to look after your own physical and mental i know the fitness side of things is important i want to know what you actually do there's so many things we can do to keep fit right it's important to me so i have a uh if i can a morning routine where even if I'm in a hotel or I'm staying over I'll try and just do press-ups and a plank and so on and I also know that's really good for my mental health what works for you?

13:13If I don't go to the gym I feel really bad so if I haven't gone to the gym for about 3-4 days Liv will see a change in my mood so being really physical and having that side will help you mentally so for me personally I think I say this to my clients as well because if they are feeling down they can always talk to me but it's not always just about going into the gym lifting weights or going for a run just go out there and walk on your own fresh air can be super good just walk your dog just get your steps in whatever it can be and that will really help you mentally as well so yeah I listened to something that actually made me realise I've never talked about this to anyone before I was a really thin kid and I wasn't more slim than any other lads but I felt it and I noticed that I've always loved my food I still do but I seem to need to eat a lot to actually keep my weight.

14:04Now, in a different conversation, plenty of people go, oh, hardship, mate. You know, I need to look at an ice cream and I'm kind of overweight. I've never had that. And although I'm not asking for any sympathy, I read that you sort of almost had the similar thing. And I wondered how much of that means you, because you are super fit and you're super bulky as well, right? I wonder how much of that you actually feel. Because I have the same. I have days where I don't feel particularly fit and I'm not the size of you, but then people will say, oh, you know, you look fit or you've been in the gym. And I'm literally feeling that point, nothing like that.

14:37So clearly we both have this psychological thing where I'll go in the gym tomorrow morning and I will do something to make myself feel strong. Where's that come from? Do you know what? I think that's why a lot of young men go to the gym. Like I was really skinny and I wasn't that tall. I had a growth spurt, but I was like, as I was having a growth spurt, I looked really lanky. I did the same. And I just really hated it. And that's the reason I went to the gym. And I say like, this was like, probably not so much now, but maybe just, especially when I come off LaVille, and you had to like think about your appearance a lot more.

15:06Like I was going out doing all my appearances, I was drinking quite a lot and then I was losing weight from it and people were saying it in the comments and it would affect me. Then I'd wear like two t-shirts under my jacket just to make myself look bigger. That would like, people might look at me and they're like, that's so ridiculous. But it's not like, from being a bigger person or like a slimmer person, you still get that body dysmorphia. That was kind of the point I was making. It's like, you know, I think it's not necessarily understood as a, I guess the term would be body dysmorphic disorder, you know, but I do feel really uncomfortable at times when other people are like, mate, I'm not feeling great about it.

15:40Yeah. That's the thing. Everyone thinks differently. Like someone might look at another person that's in great shape and they might be feeling awful about themselves. You just never know. I think it's like an internal battle with yourself really. But that's what I think we've got to do. Like being into fitness and looking after yourself is the most important thing I think yeah it's really important to me I don't know if you're aware of this I'm a dad of two daughters 13 and 15 year old girls growing up and so a lot of what I'm watching them sort of consume on on social media and so on translates into about the gen z 70 % of them that probably numbers getting bigger and bigger all the time want to be an influence when they grow up and that word influencer I've heard you say it's sort of it's not who you say you are yeah I hate it I totally get that so so and I think labeling is clearly something I want to touch on as well but But the opportunity to influence, the opportunity in Gen Z's eyes to be able to pursue something they'd love to do, go traveling, be given a car, do stuff that doesn't necessarily mean they sit behind a desk in an office.

16:41Yeah, you've already said it, but I want to know where you sit with kind of who you are, what your identity is. Because for me, you smashed it on TV. So in the past, people were never then called an influencer. So if you were on a sitcom and then you went into something else, you went to an influencer, it feels like the reality TV sits in that space. Let's be honest, you were on Loose Women before you came here on ITV, right? Yeah. Which is really cool. We're privileged to be invited on to that. But is someone going to then say you were invited because you're an influencer? Where do you sit with all that?

17:14See, I think I struggle with this question, and I bet my agent's looking at me like, well. Tell you what I find fascinating. 70 % of the next generation going through want to do something that actually I know you don't want to call it so what is how do you how do you guide that I just think the word influencer like to me if you're doing something to change someone's life that's showing influence if you're just like showing what you wear and just selling for a brand so there's a purpose behind it yeah I think you're kind of I know this is what I said but you're like an online salesperson do you know what I mean in a weird way but like influencer I think it means more than what it is no it's just labeled like Like, oh, all these kids just want to get all this free stuff.

17:52And don't get me wrong, it's been amazing. I'm not knocking my life and my job, but just that word influencer. Maybe it's because I'm 34 now and there's kids that are like that. And I'm like, I don't want to be, I'm not a kid anymore. So maybe I should get away from that. I don't know. I've just got a really funny thing about it. I can tell, but I also feel that you're at peace with so much. So I imagine there was a part of you that wanted to differentiate and grow beyond Love Island, which you have, like massively. And then there's the whole, the interest, and I think we'll come on to this, the interest with you and Liv as people, right?

18:23Which, you know, we live in that society now, right? We have a window into people's world and we can watch and we can listen. And that's depending on how much you want to put out on social media, right? Yeah. But that's something I feel like you've embraced. And yet it's this labelling of being an influencer that seems to be sticking. I mean, to be honest, with like mine and Liv's life, like we put everything on social media. People think, oh, it's the perfect couple. What do you do to stay together? And it's like, we're not the perfect couple. We argue, we bicker, but you don't put all that online for the world to see.

18:57And like you said, people watch and follow what we do. But because they've seen us on a TV screen 45 minutes every night, the week for six weeks, people think they know you as a person. But I get it because like it's most, I mean, 90 % of people are really nice about me and which I've been forever grateful for then obviously you always get the 10 % that are always fake accounts or people that are just bitter and don't like you and yeah how do you manage that because going back to my own daughters and my own relationship with social media right you know I I was private on it until three years ago now I put stuff out which leaves me open to judgment open to those negative comments that can come in and it could be one in a thousand and I know this is talked about quite a lot but are you and live past that now or do you sit there having your evening dinner the cameras are off and you go bloody hell have you seen what this person's but yeah i still do that well okay i'm not gonna lie i still do that i'm quite glad to hear that yeah but i'm also kind of like they're just not happy with herself that they're doing you can recognize where it's yeah and then when you click the page you can see that it's obviously a fake profile no no picture no nothing because the if they're seeing you out in the street they'd probably say hello to you um but yeah i mean it depends what it is if they talk about like my son or my family then I'm like I'll look at it and it plays on my mind if it's more so about me I'm just kind of like oh whatever like well I get that I get that yeah the distancing side of things and I get the feeling that if you had um the choice you you've been the whole lot off you know how important it is to you in terms of the opportunity to get something but the fact that there's an element of the fact that you've got to do it you know and so but it doesn't feel like there's a deliberate kind of I've got to do everything feels natural but if you could just kind of go I could just be private yeah do what I want when I want would you remove yourself I mean that would be nice but then it's also I do kind of like sharing stuff and like I said I get to kind of promote and post what I want to post now more so than when I first come out um so I'm in more control of it and I kind of like I don't know like I'm proud to be a dad so I want to showcase it I want to showcase my son who like I put him he was learning to ride his uh stabilizer bike the other day like um like the balance bike sorry yeah uh and he just like he smashed it i just wanted to upload it but then i don't like putting him on there too much do you know what i mean i do i i i didn't with my two girls and their proud moments your face lit up then right yeah you know it's honestly take them to the climb when they got to the top you know it's just you know there's there's no better feeling than being a dad and actually do you think one of the reasons i know you mentioned that your granddad was clearly a huge sort of maternal influence to you but the lack of having a dad that you were close to.

21:33Do you think that's become a real priority to you amongst all the other stuff that's going on to be a really good dad? Yeah, I mean, to be honest, like, I was kind of, do you know what, I'm not even going to lie. I wasn't even worried about being a good dad because to me, like, if someone minds about their dad, but if they're just sick of him for whatever reason, I'm like, at least he's there, like, doing what he can. Like, as long as I'm there for Abel, that's half what a child needs. Do you know what I mean? And then I just want to teach my son, like, resilient, I wanted to teach him like, please and thank yous, be respectful.

22:04And then I'm happy, he can be whoever he wants to be. But you know this, kids do what you do, not what you say. You've got that coming, by the way. You want to try teenage daughters or fake tan. No skirt, you know. Well, we've got eyelashes going on. It's just like, they've got to go through it, right? But you'll have this. But there's the best, it's the best feeling ever, right? And I know, I sort of feel like we're going like this, but I know that you had the news not too long ago with Live Expecting, you lost a twin. so there was probably a sort of process you went through of visualizing what was going to happen to them have to know that's what i did how difficult that would be yeah so obviously when you get told you're having twins it was so when you find out you're having your first you're like oh my god how do i change a nappy how do i do this then when you find out you're having twins the first initial shock was like oh my god like we've got to do this but twice again and have a toddler running around then after that five minutes passed was in the car on the way home and then And for the next two weeks, I was kind of visualising.

23:01Like, imagine me and Liv in the front, the three kids in the back were going away for the weekend. And I kind of build them scenarios up in my mind. But then Liv, it's different because she has that connection because she's been growing somewhere inside of her. But I've got that kind of mental connection there already. So when we found out, it was kind of like everything had just been took away from us. Because in my eyes, I'd already pictured what it was going to be like with twins and I'd come to terms with it. but then it's kind of like bittersweet because we've got a safe healthy baby there and that's all you can focus on but obviously when you get told it was really upsetting yeah um but yeah i just like want to be there for live and make sure i was okay and my new baby girl's going to be okay so this is where i think your strength of relationship is you know the time you've been together the experiences you've had you know you must be i know you get told this and you've even said you know they're sort of the perfect couple but your resilience the love you've got for each the sort of strength and time you've had together must have been super helpful to be able to get through that together i think it's because we're very similar i mean i've got to thank love island for bringing us together because like we are very similar in a lot of ways um you have to find each other as well right yeah yeah oh yeah 100 but like i feel like we're just both not quitters so i mean a lot of people especially in today's society they'll just like it's so easy to jump on dating websites and message someone else on Instagram and just spit up with that person just the first sign of trouble and I think me and Liv have had our like fair share of arguments and stuff but we kind of just work for them I love that and you mentioned earlier like you know don't share the arguments and so on and it's almost like probably refreshing for anyone watching listening to know that you have them right because it's normal but um I also feel like a lot of what you you sitting here now you're exactly the same as when you walked in and were chatting out there there's a consistency to you and to Liv but I'd love to know just diving into that a little bit of a personal thing where when you guys do have a tiff what do you do do you get over it quickly do you have almost like a way that works for you both where you've almost got an understanding we've had a clash how do you move on I've just got to realise that Liv wins every argument and then I just carry on with my life I love that happy wife happy life but she's very good she knows a lot of words that's all I'll say and she'll confuse me.

25:18So she boxes you in with intellect. Yeah, and then I'm done. I love that. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of things you've done that would be quite rightly deemed as successful. You've got some maturity and perspective now, and I think that also comes with being a dad. What would be your definition of success?

25:41To be honest, I got asked this question before, and I think just about life is just being present because if everyone wants to be successful, but then where does it stop? I've got friends that have been on the show and they just care, I've spoke to them recently and they just care about, I want to do this, I want to do that and they're constantly on to the next thing. To me, as long as you've got your family, you can provide for your family, that's been successful to me, I think. That is super. There's so many more things I'd love to ask you, but I'm conscious of time. No. What would you, I'd like to end on this, what would you say would be your your ultimate legacy i think i just want to values is a massive thing to me so i just want my son and my daughter i don't know if we will have any more i think too and i'm happy um i just want to provide and do the best i can for live able and whatever my girl's name is going to be because we haven't decided on that yet um and i just want them to enjoy their life as much as they possibly can with like a lot more ease but then like along the way as well still teaching resilience and like build them build their characters yeah but you'll do that i can tell no hopefully that's your pleasure to what i love is you're super a super good guy that's been through stuff that could have changed you could have manipulated you could have distracted you it's so obvious you're um consistently present and you've said that yourself and i can feel that well thank you no thank you for making time to talk with me thank Thanks Alex.

27:12Pleasure. Cheers.