Ant Middleton | The Fear Bubble, Fatherhood and a Call back to Service | Extraordinary Life Stories

28:44Ant Middleton:you need to do love that that's a real sense of purpose and there's a real sense of something that's much bigger than you yeah which goes back to the queen and country and listening to you I'm proud to be British talking to you I'm 48 but it's a couple of years in here but both my grandparents were in the military RAF and Brigadier and the I think so I think there's an element of pride great britain that was up around it and then i don't we've got to stay positive at this point right yeah but there's a real undertone negativity that is uh that is actually caused a crisis in young lads particularly growing up the lost boys report by the csj the center for social justice then have you seen that no i haven't seen that damn it i know and so much of what you're saying i've heard relates yeah so you've got you've got certain facts like uh kids without a father that relatability that role model is probably where I'm going a bit which then leads for them to try and find the role model perhaps on social media which takes them to all the wrong people and all the wrong identity if you like and that's what I think is missing the lack of the lack of identity the lack of respect and my question to you and it's a harsh question but it's a conversational one is how to get that back because that's what feels like it's missing and that's causing a crisis in our next generation which goes back to our kids their kids that's

30:00John Reynolds:the legacy do you know what we are it's a lack of identity um a lack of um a lack of culture um and i would say more suppression of culture uh but the identity piece all fits into this so when you have uh when you lose your identity and i know this from a personal perspective and everything i sort of do you know when it comes to teamwork team bonding motivation it's all sort of like on a personal stroke team basis but I sort of it's scalable right so I look at it now sort of on a London basis and my identity when you lose your identity you lose a sense of belonging where do I belong a sense of purpose you know where what's the purpose of what's the identity of an organisation what's the identity of a person you lose the sense of purpose and therefore you know it scales or it descends into confusion you get confused when you have a lack of identity where do I belong what's my purpose where you know where where where where am I confusion which then leads into frustration it's just about a sacred which leads to anger frustration anger anger violence so that and I've been there when I left the military lack of identity where do I belong, do I belong in Ciri Street, do I belong in the military who am I, do I need to reinvent myself right, okay, what's my purpose, well I've got no purpose anymore and it does, and I went back, I was confused frustration, frustration is sort of like the tipping point, your frustration and you either find a purpose or you find a new sense of belonging or you find a new identity and you can salvage that but then once you go into frustration, into anger it's very hard to pull that back because people don't know how to manage anger because it's you know it's not like you've been in a situation where you've been told and taught how to control that that often then teeters into violence and you see it in modern day society you know when we've got no identity you mentioned it we're in an identity crisis culture crisis but they fit you know fit in hand in hand um you know when a culture is being suppressed and when you when you have a severe lack of identity look at the streets people i would say people out there in are in the anger stroke violent frustration i would say highly frustrated anger definitely you know people are angry out there you can see it you can feel the tension and then you can you can see the violence on the street you know people are starting to get you know starting to become violent now and that we must avoid at all costs.

32:51John Reynolds:So big, big task ahead, mate. But when you look at safety and security, that's such an important element of being able to survive and thrive. Now, when you feel safe and secure, you start to trust. When you start to trust, you start to unite, you start to come together. And that's what builds unity is when you feel safe and secure so you can get on looking after your family, providing for your family, building your business, building your family, building your community. This all leads to unity. So the safety and security point is so important. And I go back from a team building, team bonding standpoint and motivational standpoint, but this can just be done on a bigger, bigger scale.

33:35John Reynolds:I know what needs to be done. I know how to tackle it. And if I surround myself, which I'm doing with SMEs, with a team of individuals, not just politicians a team of individuals a team of SMEs subject matter experts within that field then I would just boom I will throw throw the furlinks to either side to get the job done come on yes I feel inspired talking to you now because I we're in London now let's make that

34:00Ant Middleton:point we're in central London right now I spend a lot of my time here and you're about to spend a lot of time here with the campaign and that's a big commitment as well I'll come to that but but the the fact that at any one time i have to now make sure i remind myself not to have my phone to my ear or carry my phone and put earphones in because i have watched so many people's phones right in front of me could have been me you know and touch wood and then the the violation that goes with that where to someone saying well you just stole a phone but that could lead to money out of my account just the whole thing huge it is huge yeah the pain that ripples out from that that people I know who've had it happen to them.

34:38Ant Middleton:And then photos lost because it's not backed up. Wherever you go with it, it's a real violation. And it's just one example of what is a real undertow that I feel. And I wanted to flip the question.

34:50John Reynolds:Spring is here, and there's a whole new way to chai at Starbucks that's made perfect for you. Choose your sweetness, dial it up, or keep things light.

34:59Ant Middleton:Add a touch of pistachio, a hint of strawberry, or vanilla, or make it a spring classic with lavender. because this season, there's endless ways to chai at Starbucks.

35:35John Reynolds:RJ Decker, series premiere, tonight on ABC and stream on Hulu. That's a great example. And I just want to quickly jump on that why you're there before I forget it. And I like to keep crying a lot. I know that feeling. But you're exactly right. You know, phone theft. You know, it's not just someone taking your property. It's not just a theft of property. It's not the value of the phone. Feft of property. You've got identity theft. You know, theft of identity. You've got your passport on there. I guarantee you got some form of ID card you know talk about identity theft then bank details financial theft and I find financial fraud you've got car you could go on with that you know you've got then you could even go into photos children's you could go into the deepest darkest corners with a phone because we put our lives on a phone so zero tolerance policies when people say oh and what policy and I talk about zero tolerance policies people go oh you know I'm not just talking about knife crime and gun crime i'm talking about hitting it at ground level now when someone steals your phone they are going to get charged for identity theft your financial fraud whatever it may be you know stole theft of property um there's going to be a whole list that could potentially you know for one phone potentially land you in prison for you know two three four years let alone just going oh okay slap on the wrist away you go

36:59Ant Middleton:because there's no deterrent right now, is there? Literally none. And we've seen zero tolerance work elsewhere, right? Mayor Giuliani.

37:06John Reynolds:But at the ground level, mate, it needs to be done at the ground level and you need someone, you need a mayor that's accountable, that's present. And I say, you know, any fatal stabbings that happen in London, I will turn up at the scene. I don't care if it's two o 'clock in the morning, three o 'clock in the morning. I don't care if I'm out five, six times a night. any fatal incidents that happen within within my within my cordon within London I will turn up on your doorstep and I talk about accountability policies so you've got your zero tolerance policies you've got your your deterrent policies which act as deterrent policies and then a huge one accountability policies now if I'm turning up in your borough police HQ straight to the top superintendent why have we got another stabbing on your on your patch right you're going to be held to account councillor these councillors that just get voted in and they just sit back take on them and they're making all these decisions i'm going to the council of that boa as well and i'm going to be like that but you're held accountable you're held accountable you you two i suggest you communicate this happens again on your boa you do not want me turning up on your doorstep and guess what there's probably going to be a free strike rule where if this happens three times you're going to lose your job you're going to lose your job and again you know they may have london you've got to hold myself accountable as well accountability so accountability is huge mate and this is how

38:27Ant Middleton:we're going to tackle crime in london so there's only one and middleton and um one of the things that i've been as a british person feeling quite almost insecure about is watching the police force diminish and reduce in size and people that have been outspoken that have been incredibly experienced to police officers then saying well i'm getting to use their words sort of woke comrades coming in where have they really got my back so good people have left and then there's the whole military kind of well mate where i'm going with it is i'm i've always wanted to ask you this is is and now of course with where you're going with with the campaign and what you want to achieve is i feel that with that simmering undertow of frustration anger what could become violence the country could be overrun i'd have to ask you whether you've got that inside knowledge and whatever you can choose to share with me, that there are organisations that are there and ready to be able to actually stop what could become a massive uproar before you get into the position of mayor of London because it just feels like that has gone.

39:28Ant Middleton:What you are able to achieve in the SBS and the Special Forces as they are, it's almost like what is sitting behind the scenes that could in any way stop mass disruption?

39:40John Reynolds:Because I come from grassroots myself. you know this is where i feel i feel as mail of london i would fill the gap between you know the grassroots and politicians the gap there is is so big people can't relate to politicians politicians refuse to relate to to the to the ground level because they won't go into these areas they can't even leave their armored vehicles in their houses without getting you know screamed and shouted um shouted that but the people were you know there's a there's a calm undertone it could go it could go any which way but you can only push people so far before it does but also there's a there's a really which you wouldn't expect there's a really calm undertone on right you know let's not play into their hands let's not play into the hands of the government which they want us to do um let's let's let's be smart you know let's let's there's more than one way to skin a cat if that makes sense sure but um what i and i say not what i love about this situation because we're in societal decline.

40:43John Reynolds:Probably the worst position we've been in for a while, certainly in my time. It's been sliding for a while, hasn't it? Yeah, it has. Seemingly with no one doing anything, which is why it's so inspiring to talk to each other. People are ready. People are ready. Yeah, they are ready to step up and step forward. And now you've got people like myself who are willing to give the ultimate sacrifice of giving up my career, giving up no time with my family you know a bit like it being in the military i see this this role

41:13Ant Middleton:you know as mayor of london can i jump in there i'll forget something that's really important to me so to humanize you i said there's only one aunt middleton and that sacrifice and that commitment that you're making to it's giving you purpose right it's giving you purpose but also that's now again a heartfelt thank you for me and you know english people thinking of someone real someone that is um you know not doing it politically not doing it for any other ulterior motive that has had enough but the humanized question to me and this brings what you said about your wife and kind of your own personal safety if you'd like is you are in your zone in combat you would have been formidable right now walking along the street with you anyway i'd feel safe you know how but you're entering into a political kind of battle if you like dirty tactics and your self-awareness is phenomenal so i wonder how you how you're being advised and how you're having to almost learn a new a new kind of warfare if you like because that's what it's going to be there's going to be all sorts of stuff coming there's going to be smear campaigns there's

42:11John Reynolds:going to be all sorts of stuff how ready for you i'm i'm the least but you're prepared for that and

42:19Ant Middleton:also is there an element of your own personal safety you've got to consider here when it comes

42:24John Reynolds:personal safety I'm not any more security conscious now than I was when I was you know I'm always so that's just bred into me I'm always looking over my shoulders to some certain extent looking at personalities characters groups um you know locations uh ins and outs you know that's just built in my DNA so from a security standpoint no I'm still very much you know aware but when it comes to politics politics is for me is is sort of military tactics um military strategies but instead of using weapons you know they use words but when i look at the strategies and the distraction methods and the you know the fear-mongering and uh you know the the more than one way to skin a cat or the you know the smoke and mirrors it's military tactics i'm a military strategist i was a sniper i was a special forces operator you know i was you know multiple things within the military where you know a team leader a section commander so when it comes to military strategy um you know i know it all and i very much see politics like that now what i need to do is i need to draw myself into into the political game on how things are said and how things are done and um but from a standpoint of being a politician this is why i want to run for mayor of london the mayor of london is not a politician right the mayor of london position if i want to be a politician i'll go and jump on a constituency um a by-election and i'll become an mp i'll be in the houses of common of commons the mayor of london position you don't have to be a politician to get that position it's the mayor it was never meant to be a political position yes it has political you know it has pnls attached to it absolutely but that's why i want to run independent i want to strip politics away from that position because everything the current mayor of london does he um everything he touches he politicized look at the metropolitan police they are being used as a political tool it is so obvious you know you don't you don't have to have the contacts within the metropolitan police and yourself what you just said about the the disconnect within the organization they have um to know that it translates onto the streets it is so obvious because it's been politicized our justice system you know if that hasn't been politicized i know it fits in with law and order and but talk about being politicized to the current political party right now you know they are pulling you know some major strings to bend some major rules um so the reason why i want to run independent is because i want to be accountable to the people i want to be there for the needs of the people and the needs of london not the needs or the narrative or a political party so if you look at when that position came around in 2000 he ran independent he was that that position was it in my eyes should be an independent position yes he was he had political alignments and affiliations but he ran as an independent that the position should be independent um at all times because it's not a it's not a politician that should be right that should be holding that position.

45:54John Reynolds:When you want your spring break to feel like. And your kids pool day to feel like.

46:03Ant Middleton:And your hotel bed to feel like. Oh, and room service to feel like. Because at Hilton, hospitality feels like. Your cabana's ready. Would you like fresh towels? It matters where you stay. Book now at Hilton.com.

46:22John Reynolds:Hilton for this day.

46:25Ant Middleton:eczema is unpredictable but you can flare less with efglyss a once monthly treatment for moderate to severe eczema after an initial four month or longer dosing phase about four in ten people taking efglyss achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks and most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing efglyss lebrikizumab lbkz a 250 milligram per two milliliter injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults

46:50John Reynolds:and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema. Also called atopic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBCLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to EBCLIS. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with EBCLIS. Before starting EBCLIS,

47:15Ant Middleton:tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection ask your doctor about ebglis and visit ebglis.lily.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX or 1-800-545-5979 thank you i'm learning so much from my brain spinning and i think anyone watching listening in naivety or ignorance what is the principle of how you now

47:32John Reynolds:campaign how do you how do you become a male and what is that journey so surrounding myself and building the right team around me like i said a team of smes subject matter experts in transport in finance in health you know health and safety in education yeah um yeah best best in team class a team of individuals not a team of politicians uh but also you know building my own so i'm almost building my own cabinet if you wish my own war chest my own you know my my own ecosystem where i'm fully reliant fully self-reliant within the ecosystem so there's no there's no way of of any corruption being able to get in being towed by any political you're doing it all daylight right doing visibility which is what you exude and transparency i want to be completely transparent with um with with the public because the thing about the government the government are there to work for the people however we've given so much power to government that now we the government know we work for the government and they've made that you know extremely clear yeah kia starma getting up there if you don't like it then you know where the door is oh what are you talking to the people like that if we don't like the government or what the government's doing then we can leave i should never be an option what that that that statement alone and then and again with uh with khan when he first got in up when khan first got in i was like yeah you know let's see how it goes um i don't really take his um job what he used to do into his you know into his new job let's see how he gets on you know the proof is in the pudding but when khan one of the first statements when he got in and when he was asked about terrorist attacks because it was rife back in back in the day when he got in you know just the stabbings on the street the cars running people over um and he said well you know terrorism is part of big city living my heart sunk because i thought my response would be we will do everything in our power to ensure that even a sniff of any terrorist organization any terrorist activity it's a warning dealt with you know the full force of the law we will come down on you like a ton of bricks and we i'm going to stamp this out from day dot that's what i was expecting from a mayor yeah he normalized it he he normalized it and then you can just see how he's not and it's like wow and when you see that the distance and this is why i want to go as an independent um when you see the distance between politicians and you know grassroots i call them grassroots uh survivors and thrivers you know so there's some survivors out there when you see the and the inability innate ability to read a room or to you know to to read you know to read people to read the the layout of the land um then you only have to look how drastically wrong it's gone and the proof is in the pudding it's like the leadership zero leadership skills zero accountability you know it's and i want to just i want to fill that gap mate oh that's what i want to do i just want to press that gap and again you know get things wrong of course i'm going to get things wrong but i'm going to be transparent and i'm going to hold myself to account and i'm going to hold other people to account yeah as a englishman i can't

51:05Ant Middleton:tell you how i've already said inspiring but also like there's there's a slogan there the country needs you i mean 100 you know you you we could carry this conversation on and give a lot more examples but i wish you the absolute best of luck with it um and i think just you know success in what is you know the best person needs to be running the mayor you know from the london point of view because it's broken right now yeah you know so yeah may the force be with you on that

51:31John Reynolds:but that position as well just looking at the mayor of london position the mayor london position was to create a greater london a bigger london you know to bring the powers together to you know communication community communication unity you know creating a bigger london you know really bringing everyone together and when i talk about accountability policies accountability policies will force communication between bowers will force communication between the mayor of london you know whoever whoever sits in in that position and it will it will create unity and create a sense of community and that's something that has been again has been so politicized yes that it's it's caused

52:12Ant Middleton:division yes it goes back to the role model it goes back to you know use the example that which ended up normalizing something that you'd have been like no stamp it out and then people go yes and it's old school leadership but it's missing yeah i used that word success flipping that back

52:27John Reynolds:to you um how would you describe success success for me within a team and within a family is when when everyone is content with where they are in that current position in time you know it's being present you know when I'm super present you know I don't think too far into the future I certainly don't drag any of the negative stuff in the past along I'll drag the lessons along with me but it's about being super present you know present in the moment and just reconfirmation if my team's happy in that moment and they're in a good place then then that's success for me if we're if we're progressing if we've got a challenge in front of us now with i love being challenged on all verticals if i'm not being challenged on a daily daily basis or if i don't step into a challenge then where where's the success from that so and that could be you know that could be stepping like you said into the vipers nest ultimately which i'm stepping into is politics right let's call it what it is you know but it's it's a huge challenge look at the i always look at the what's the positive uh solution well the positive solution is that um i become mayor of london and um i make london safe and a thriving community once again you know thriving city once again but first and foremost safety and security that's my that's that's my niche um that's why you know and if i if i'm doing that right in the moment and i feel good then that for me it is success i think if you chase success or if you think that if you chase success then you're chasing something and you're not being present if you think that you you've succeeded then you you will function on autopilot you almost press pause because you think you've been there and done it and then slowly which i have done you'll see the world overtake you you see people organizations you know yes sure i would take you so i think success is is is in my success is really in the moment like i'm sitting here now and i'm thinking about my family automatically i think you know they're you know my kids are at school um my wife spoke to my wife this morning they're happy my son's playing rugby he's happy i'd have spent the weekend with him um my daughter's uh i think she's starting a driving her first driving um test today um they're happy they've got food on the table they've got a roof over their head that's success to me because now i can focus it allows me to fully focus on what's ahead of me to create this milestone into success that milestone into success i love that i'm very much in the now john i'm super present with everything

55:09Ant Middleton:that i do i can feel that and i thank you for that and that's why we get on so on i want to

55:14John Reynolds:no you are and you know i'm going to throw it back at you because that's why we've connected because there's there's a there's a positive energy around us you know you know when you say our paths were meant to cross you know you say that to people and you know this is the moment where our paths are meant to cross because there's so many similarities and without sounding cliche and going ah you know but you can feel the energy you can feel the vibe vibrate you know the frequencies it's just yeah being present i know when someone's present and when someone's not at all you know and they're just going through emotion they might be going for a sales pitch but they're not present in the moment no that's all i want is when i'm with someone i will give you 100 me you know you will have for me my emotions my mindset my yeah if i'm doing a task with you i'll give you you know anything physical that i've got yeah 100 to the moment we part ways love that we're so much like that i can feel that coming from you i'll take it and

56:13Ant Middleton:thank you thank you and i and i think i'll share this with you i started extreme life stories three years ago and somewhere in that journey your book led to me then backing myself pivoting which we can relate to pivoting and different entrepreneurial things I think this is something I want to know I want to have the conversations with people that come from all walks of life but the one key common denominator is authenticity and relatability so you can see just how heartfelt that that was to then want to film with you there's an element of something I think we can also parallel which is no days the same and i actually thrive off that because i have lots of different business interests all sorts of different things i also love a challenge now compared to to you climbed everest k2 some incredible things that you've done but i get that there's a stimulation that comes from a new challenge and looking for that but i almost want to bring it back to that element going back to that success side of things a lot of people will say the only way you can be successful is having a crazy early morning routine get your work out and meditate read a book and so on i want to know what that looks like for you and how you're managing this period of your life where perhaps routine is a bit skewed because there's lots of different things going on i think

57:22John Reynolds:people get it confused um or they they've got the priorities mixed up i go i i'll take you back one for me it's a nighttime routine my nighttime routine will dictate my morning routine so I go back to preparing at night what does my preparation look like if I'm not in bed by 10 o 'clock at night something's wrong or I'm on a business meeting or different time zones you know if I'm not eating correctly that evening because obviously once you go to sleep you know absorbs digestion etc etc that will dictate how you sleep how much sleep that you have you know whether it's broken everything for me and this is what I teach my children

58:12John Reynolds:starts just when you go to bed. So the morning routine, yes, you'll have a morning routine, but that's the easy part. If you've got a really good nighttime routine that's consistent, your morning routine will just fall into place. Bang, bang, bang, bang. And I'm talking about mindset. I'm talking about waking up on the right side of the bed, i.e. in a good headspace or a bad headspace. I'm talking about enough sleep. are you going to wake up and just force yourself into that morning routine? I wake up and I fall into my morning routine. What does my nighttime routine look like in bed by 10 o 'clock?

58:48John Reynolds:I'm in bed by 10 o 'clock. If I'm in bed earlier, sometimes I go to bed at 9.30. I'm certainly not squalling on my phone. Business is done. I've been with my family anyway. I unwind from about seven onwards. for me to unwind it's being with my children my children are jumping all over me i'm doing a bedtime routine i'm going on you know it's reading a story to one i'm probably play fighting with my son which annoys my wife because i'm hyping him up before he goes to bed um but memories exactly yeah but my nighttime routine is sort of down into that uh make sure that i don't eat too late i probably eat about six o 'clock half six latest time to digest um again uh to make sure I've got the right fuel in me.

59:35John Reynolds:And this is, you know, this has only come through experience, right fuel in me, then the right rest. And when I go to bed at night, I cannot wait to get up in the morning. It's never a struggle for me to get up in the morning. I am boom up. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes I have to wake up at four o 'clock and force myself out of bed. But, you know, I know that my nighttime routine has set the precedent. It's set the bar really, really high. So I've got no excuse but for my morning routine to get in and my morning routine varies um my life I don't do a nine to five so my life varies you know massively I might have a breakfast at six o 'clock in the morning with with you know with a meeting breakfast where I'm down and I'll have my breakfast and I'll find time to work out after um I make sure that I work out at least five times a week because the moment i don't then it's a huge distraction on my mind if i don't get my workout i normally get it done in the morning if i don't get it done it's on my mind all the time i have this and it's horrible yeah it's like then i think oh no i'll fit it in at lunchtime then you know it goes on

1:00:41Ant Middleton:then it gets i carry that on into i feel like i'm not failing but i it's that positivity starts to weigh because you're well you didn't do that you didn't do that so i need to get it done in the

1:00:50John Reynolds:morning and you know what that is as well that's not as a case of i need to get a workout done that is the probably the only time before you go to bed especially myself having children and it's the only time i'm going to have to myself where i can really think with a clarity of mind

1:01:06Ant Middleton:whilst i'm working out and i can which shows you how important it is over the mental mindset but you might you might be lifting weights but it's it's the importance of this sometimes i'll go in

1:01:14John Reynolds:and i'll just i'll stretch i'll wake and i'll go right you know what and i'll have you know if you go into a proper pilates routine you're sweating trust me holding those positions um so so don't knock it it i can i can just think it it pieces the puzzle together for me it's like tick tick tick tick tick before i go into the morning um and it's never always been like that i'm not saying that i stick to that and that's my morning routine but i try and be consistent with it yes and that's where consistency is the key to success if you are consistent throughout your life with everything that you do then um you're you're you'll be on that trajectory of of your incline there'll be no plateaus and there'll be no no spikes downwards i've taken a while to learn that i'm filming in

1:01:58Ant Middleton:january in this whole um new year's resolution so i didn't have any this year my my whole mindset going into december was like just keep doing what actually you've learned works for you which might just be press-ups and handstands and some a plank or something in the morning but just make sure you're moving and it's and it's a challenge your handstand can you do yeah surprise your feet don't touch the ceiling tax act knows filing taxes can be confusing so we have live experts on hand who can help answer any questions you may have questions like can i claim my suv is my home office if i answer work emails in my car if i adopted 12 dogs this year can i list them as dependence?

1:02:38Ant Middleton:And am I doing this right or am I doing this very, very wrong? Our experts have the answers to those questions and many others. Tax Act. Let's get them over with.

1:02:50John Reynolds:Disney Plus wants to know, are you ready? For Marvel Studios, Thunderbolts, The New Avengers, now streaming on Disney Plus. Let's do this. One of the best Marvel movies of all time is now streaming on Disney Plus.

1:03:04Ant Middleton:Hey, you weren't listening to me.

1:03:06John Reynolds:I said Thunderbolts The New Avengers is now streaming on Disney+.

1:03:10Ant Middleton:Meet the New Avengers.

1:03:13John Reynolds:That's cool, man.

1:03:14Ant Middleton:Marvel Studios Thunderbolts The New Avengers, rated PG-13. Now streaming on, you guessed it, Disney+. I learned to do them when I was a teenager, getting drunk and being stupid. And then just started almost having competitions with friends about who could walk the furthest and so on. And I had this whole moment where I stopped doing them, going into sensible life. was actually they're probably pretty good for your um fitness and there's something there's something about being inverted it just kind of makes me feel different so i try and do them i do them every morning unless there's a good reason every now and then a hotel room is uh not the right layout to warrant an injury i know i get it i can imagine you just being stuck yeah

1:03:57John Reynolds:you know trying to get on the phone yeah i'm stuck in my room i'm up before my kids

1:04:02Ant Middleton:my kids are used to coming down in the morning going morning dad i'm just inverted in the middle just ignore me another day off you go i wanted to ask you something that i feel i can ask you because i see you as an incredibly strong resilient human being who i have been able to probably become a better version of myself and a more resilient version of myself because of what i've read and this time of spending with you i want to ask you what scares you nothing scares me

1:04:31John Reynolds:uh i refuse to let life penetrate my my interior you know i focus on i say this to my especially my 16 year old son focus on the interior on the internal and external will look after itself or the external will fall into place and i'm i'm so competitive with myself i refuse to let anything control me and I refuse to let anything it will give me scars and it will but I refuse to let it ricochet off onto my family so what scares me is me putting myself in these positions, in these situations where there could be a ricochet or there could be a breach where it affects my children and it affects my wife, especially me being in the limelight and me being as resilient and, you know, forward thinking and, you know, driven as I am, sometimes I can, and then, you know, it sort of goes around me and it affects, directly affects my family.

1:05:43John Reynolds:That's the only fear that I have is that, you know, it could it could seriously um affect them in some way shape or form it goes back to something

1:05:54Ant Middleton:i said earlier which is it's bigger than you but in this instance your self-awareness is phenomenal i asked you because i see you as a mountain of a man and i don't mean that just because of the big muscles and the there's a the rounded and middleton of the mindset the whole um relentless this energy is phenomenal but it's that whole fear that goes past you yeah but because of what you're doing because of the purpose and the bigger picture of what you want to achieve but i guess you know the the desire and the need if you like of what you're doing is is worth it you have you have to try and follow that purpose and see it through yeah i have to you know and

1:06:35John Reynolds:that's in order to for me for my moral compass you know i'm a very sort of moral person does my moral compass you know is it pointing true north it's slightly off then but then i have to sometimes um look at that damage control or the um you know or the aftermath of of what i'm doing and because not about you know it's not about me like you said it's bigger than me it's it's actually bigger than bigger than my family and I say that and I'm going back to when I spoke to my wife about the mayor of London position because she said to me you know when you're in the military you know you prioritize the military over your family and you know me being you know honest I was like yeah I did I had to you know they told me to go to into combat I went into combat if you called me up and said I want your home you know I wasn't coming home so yeah I did prioritize the family, my work, the military over my family.

1:07:35John Reynolds:And then now falling in for the last sort of 12, 13 years I've been out, you know, my priorities, you know, are right now, you know, family first, family first. Don't get me wrong, work comes very, very close to it. Now, if work is affected, it normally have a sort of knock-on effect with the family and vice versa. But, you know, she's like, you're going to have to flip back those priorities again. because this is bigger than you, this is bigger than us so we're going to go back to being second best again and that, when she said that to me and again these decisions that I sort of look at and make and communicate and that's the only thing that I thought you're right, because I am back to serve

1:08:22Ant Middleton:Well you've based your family in UAE now and yet you're going to need to be

1:08:25John Reynolds:London based for the 100 % I am but what I love is going back to an earlier part of the conversation

1:08:30Ant Middleton:she's fully supportive oh yeah and that and I love the fact that you that unit about sacrifice

1:08:35John Reynolds:right for her is this what I'm saying with your partner now it's not just me so you know it's my family sacrificing is my children sacrificing their time with their dad you know because when you know breaking this down with the first four years I said to her you know the first term we will not be going on holiday. I will be in London every single day. Unless I need to be on business for London externally. Of course. That's not a holiday. No, but I'm going to, I need to be there. If I, if I say, if I keep to what I said I'm going to do, i.e. turn up every fatal stabbing that happens in London, you know, I will do that.

1:09:17John Reynolds:I will be there when it happens. I will get the call. we will make our way there you know i will make sure that you know i'm a foot soldier on the ground as mayor of london not only to put these policies make sure these policies are being adhered to deterrent policies accountability policies you know when i say that i'm going to you know give the ultimate sacrifice for for london and londoners i'm going to do exactly that

1:09:40Ant Middleton:well stay safe doing it yeah exactly i can feel you i can feel you know it's it's a there's a proper force within you that like you want to you want to be there you want to be making a difference yeah yeah exactly i could talk to you all day i want to round out on on what you just exuded then to me is is an unbelievably brilliant role model someone that you know you can't be what you can't see you are going to put yourself out there you already are you've already got your platform and your presence but this next chapter for you puts you in a real role model element of whether it's whether it's full-grown men or young people growing up that aspire and want to to be like you if you like and i just want to sort of have that relatability two men talking like this being very open and i see your vulnerability is such a strength i want to sort of get your vibe on how that you feel that's changed over the last few years because the mental health piece that's almost been missing the men not talking to each other you know you are someone that's you know military decorated um has the track record that you've got of being a strong powerful man but also can be incredibly vulnerable and just say ask me anything if you like and I want to sort of almost ripple that out what can men do to do to sort of have conversations more personal if you like

1:10:53John Reynolds:rather than holding everything in it's the emotional aspect of men you know the psychological way of psychologically resilient which isn't necessarily a good thing because we lock away

1:11:04Ant Middleton:the emotional aspect weakness is shown if I say what I'm thinking right could be struggling with my marriage could be struggling with my finances could be hate my job whatever but i'm not going to tell you because we're all in the pub together having a beer and that but it feels like you know

1:11:17John Reynolds:that's a relatability for you emotional it's not necessarily a mind the distraction is on the mind but that's an emotional trigger it's like you know fear of letting the family down fear of being a failure this is all emotional so when we talk about emotions and we talk about men they just don't come hand in hand do they know um you know psychologically yes physically yeah that's what we pride ourselves on is and we hide behind muscle and you know we uh we hide behind a resilient mindset because it's just not the done thing to do but it's the emotional aspect that most men are completely um cut off from and they've done it and they've it's just the norm now that they've cut themselves off from from their their emotions so much that they've uh they've suppressed them to a point where they're they're non-existent they're desensitized to any emotional um like for me for example with and i hate to say this but you know with with death i'm just desensitized to to death you know i don't know whether i cut it off you know i've just had um my my uncle passed away before christmas um and it's just i feel like you know i've had friends pass away you know multiple friends my father passed away when I was young my mother passed away um and I think and I say desensitized to it but I just I can't go in there you know maybe because I'm scared to go in there but I'm just so desensitized to it that uh and I suppose it's it's being courageous enough to to go there you know but that's one of my fears one of my fears you say what I'm scared of what one of my fears is is digging into into that that area um because yeah it either works against you or works it works for you right but um you've got your own way of managing it you've

1:13:09Ant Middleton:been in a yeah yeah been in situations where you've literally probably had to accept that you go through that door it's highly like i'm gonna die so you've had to make peace with something i haven't ever had to do so the way i feel like i can so relate with you so there's there's suddenly there's a piece there that that self-awareness which is like no no no i haven't been in a position where i may not be coming out of that that's images of your wife and kids in your head and so on and i've got to block that out and you know you know what i mean there's all of that i have done that i've done exactly that um it's when i was in afghanistan um in the royal

1:13:43John Reynolds:marines i told my wife do not write to me i do not want to see a letter from you i will call you you know I don't want to know unless you've got an emergency number for this unless one of my children are dying in hospital and you're dying in hospital then I don't want to know I don't want any distractions I don't want to think about it and she wrote me it she did write me a letter three months into my tour and I my sergeant major gave me the letter I sat around we're in um mud huts in sang in dc um in the royal marines and it gave me the letter and i recognized her handwriting and i just put it put it in the fire for the big fire pit in front you might have saved it for later she just it was literally like just got it and i was like yeah and when i got back i said why did you write to me you know i just thought i'd write you you're protecting yourself yeah yeah because

1:14:36Ant Middleton:you want to get home to your wife so that's your coping mechanism but then you know going back to

1:14:40John Reynolds:men and and they're you know the emotional side of things it's it's you know we're not in those situations i think it's just about situation awareness understanding the situation making sure you're surrounded with people that you trust there's a huge trust element in this as well john so you know people that that have trouble trusting or have been have been treated badly or have had their emotions you know uh treated in a negative way yeah sure so they they they lock up because it's a form of defense but find the right circle you know find the right circle find the right people and actually you know having that opening up that emotional armory will just you know add add to your self-being it will add to you your values your your your your learning your growth

1:15:31Ant Middleton:tenfold well you trusted me to talk with me today and i can't thank you enough i hope you've enjoyed

1:15:39John Reynolds:talking to me because it's been such a pleasure loved it mate and thank you absolute gentleman best of luck thank you mate