Brandon Block | Extraordinary Life Stories

0:11Brandon, thank you for joining me. Tell me, who is Brandon Block? Oh, who's Brandon Block? I've learned, I think I've learned that he is empath. I'm not going to label because my concentration struggles, let's say. but you will see that um i don't know i'm very very grateful very lucky to be here today very fortunate in my career very uh and just walking into your environment today very even more grateful seeing that the stuff that i'm very passionate about is being magnified by young people by you and but this this just walking i was disillusioned recently lost faith just lost faith in in in humanity again not because of any it's quite easy to do it yeah because like as you well know when you do stuff in the field of let's say helping people without you know labelling anything necessarily what I've found is recently there's a lot of upselling for want of a better word you know what I'm talking about exactly so it's like I just find you know I got my help for nothing and I got you know I find that I'd prefer to give my help for nothing so I went on a journey right yeah now look I'll digress already I just that's who I am I'm very happy to be here I think this environment you've created is absolutely necessary and wonderful so Brandon Block now is re revisiting um his support network and wanting to you know offer some more support for the human race as we move forward re-evaluating your tribe re-evaluating my tribe exactly yeah and you know I didn't think it was possible but you know I've just realised that it is possible yeah I'm walking in the right place meeting the right people well I'm super pleased that there's been inspiration and humility I almost sort of put back into because I crave that like you you're just genuinely raw authentic right and I want that in my life and we've been connected by someone Glyn I know who is raw authentic and so that's the tribe element right good people know good people I'm feeling that word gratitude at the moment you know they say gratitude of feeling.

2:29I mean, we know that because you can't just say, I'm grateful. You've got to feel it. There's a meaning in the words. You know, words have power. So when you say that word, grateful, and you mean, I actually am feeling grateful. But there's a lot in being grateful. There's being present. There's being reflected. Exactly. In this moment, because you can't be grateful for everything without being here. Tell me, a young Brandon, I want to know whether you followed your dream or kind of almost fell into what you did. So what the kind of the who and the what influences as a young Brandon? Tell me about that.

3:01I'm not going to say Brandon was a... I suppose he didn't have a trauma. I was an only child. Someone said to me the other day, are you an only child? I said, I'm 60 years old. So I'm not a child anymore. Thank you very much. It's quite an interesting thing, isn't it? You started out life as a youngster on your own. I think there was that whole thing about having siblings and someone to bounce off and maybe not having someone. So you create some person. You create me. I don't know. The me from back then wasn't who I am now because I think the me then was a real crazy... I protected myself with my madness, if that makes sense.

3:44So I became the nutter at school because I got bullied a little bit. Not massive, but enough, I suppose. You know, when you don't have anyone to turn to and you go, oh, I'm being called names, I'm being, you know, threatened this and that, and, you know, you've just gone to your first day at secondary school and everyone's calling you names and you think, oh, what have I done here? You know, like, so you create this, don't come near me. Barriers and protection, right? Because I might bite you. Or, you know, or, you know, not... I can't even imagine about you. So you were actually quite defensive.

4:19Well, I mean, I think, you know, I think the mask and the madness was to say, oh, he's made, he's, you know, to coin a phrase, he's mental, him. We were talking about earlier, right? Yeah, exactly. So, you know. Let's open it up. And acceptance, you become, oh, he's a nutter. He's accepted now. And I sort of became that loony. And I don't mean that in a horrible way, you know. I mean it quite. The society pressure and bullying and the way you're made to feel, which ultimately is then the way you feel. Yes. And we were talking earlier about the whole being called mental and then this whole mental health thing.

4:58I mean, that's a big part of your life, right? Because what I want to know is whether there was a young brand that was able to get into something that he dreamed of doing. Did you dream of being a DJ and becoming this huge sensation, if you like, from your career point of view? But we know with anyone watching or listening that knows you will know that you battled with mental health. We all still are in some way. So being called mental, we're all battling mental health, right? I mean, look, I think I want to reframe that slightly. I wouldn't say battling because, look, the thing that escapes us all is we all have a mental health.

5:37And it's how healthy is it? It's how we manage what goes on for us. I think the realisation is that, or what we have to realise is, that whatever what we think what we're told how how we take that is what will make us feel like that so i didn't battle it i think we we had to learn to manage it to manage what how and learn to to learn how i make myself feel by listening to what people say or things happen and how i uh learn to deal with that stuff which again it's a life journey it's not like it's gonna cure all it's not going to just change one night and go, everything's okay, because it don't work like that, does it?

6:19It's learning and having resilience and rolling with resistance and all this stuff about being able to say, okay, acceptance, like, well, this has happened, what do I do? As opposed to saying, oh, it's affected me like that. We all catastrophize. We all live in that world, and it's not easy. How do you bring that in early? right because you have gone through your own journey to be reflective mature looking back at that and then to have that chance to sort of but at times in your life you've been fight or flight oh you've been really caught and you've articulated the whole mental health thing so much better than i did actually so yeah totally get that but you know you've been in some some really tough spots you've hit the bottom you know what's got you through that look i i think and you're right i I mean, look, okay, when I was, we all know, my story's not quite, I was addicted heavily to cocaine way back in the 90s.

7:17I stopped overnight because I had an epiphany of decision of life or death. And I mean, I was literally given two weeks to live by my doctor who is still in touch with me today. 30 years later, he's my mentor, let's say. If I ever have a problem, I could still bring him my shrink. He saved my life. It wasn't anything else. He was the person, he was my higher power, let's say, at the time. And I use that because people will understand that word. He's the head psychiatrist of the Priory. So it tells you his qualifications, etc. But I think from that moment, when I was young, I was never ready to give up.

8:00I think I had this driving force which led me to... Although, look, I still struggle with, I don't struggle. I still have anxiety. I still get cortisol release. But then some of that is what we want. We want a bit of stress in our lives because we don't, I'm going to go off the road a bit here. My take on this is, right, this is why I'm interested, firstly, in how my mind works. So I want to see how, I still want to get these certain feelings. So I'm not going to let go of that. So each journey, and I'll come out the other side of each one and think, oh, wow, that's why that was so important. So that's what's motivated me to carry on through everything to end up here today.

8:48So look, just quickly, happiness, right? Everyone says happiness is key. That's what we're all trying to find, isn't it? Right. We never, this world doesn't allow us to be happy every day, right? because when you're happy you need nothing right oh come interested new pair of jeans sir do you know what i'm really happy i'm all right new car sir i'd love to in fact i love that car but you know what i'm so happy i don't need any car amazon do you need i mean we all do it but if you was happy with that you're not good to anyone do you know that's quite articulate in terms of actually you fast forward into how money doesn't make you happy because new car he's just got a better car than me or I've just got a new car they just released another one I haven't got the new car anymore the whole thing gets more complicated if you start looking at life like that right yeah of course and and the fact that the fact that we have it's not keep up with the Joneses anymore because the Joneses used to live right at the end of the street and you'd probably only walk past their house once every two weeks and say, oh, look at the new garden gnomes or look at the new lions on the garden.

10:05Look at the electric gates. Look at the Aston Martin. Look at the, you know, and you'd go. It's judgment. It's comparison. But now, there it is. Right on your hand. Yeah. How can, oh, no. Oh, it's got to be like that. Social media, right? Well, you know, technology and, yeah, typically social media. But, you know, how have you embraced that, right? Because you are old school. but you are also very relevant and relatable right now. You're dialed in, showing that by how you're talking about it. So if you look at it from a career point of view, and this is from a DJing point of view, now, aspirationally, it's probably the number one thing that kids want to be good at, right?

10:46And they're rock stars. They're the heroes of kind of celebrity, if you like, and they're making a fortune out of it. And that's kind of why I was wondering how much of that, because that wouldn't have been an influence for you going into it you know you there wasn't the money you can make out of it now and so on you so was it a pure passion that you went into and then and then i guess you felt the crowd and had that whole atmosphere and feedback but now the whole thing lives on social media and you can grow that way beyond right i mean this is what this is this is what i keep telling myself i have to be grateful and keep saying because i could get i can get really immersed in that world you were talking about.

11:29And if I do, then I know I wound up beyond all exactly that. That emoji with the blowing head off. That emoji. But yeah, you're right. I mean, just go, oh, I'm not good enough. Why aren't I there? Just gig that, gig blah blah. And you go, stop. Stop. Just, just. So I've taken Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, X, I didn't have TikTok the only thing I have on my phone is WhatsApp I don't have any other social media platform if I need to go on social media I'll wait till the next day go on my laptop if someone's got to share at a certain time I'll go on my laptop at that time do the work, whatever needs to be done so you manage it and then start and turn it off and believe it or not you'll still find yourself with five hours screen time just from random and check in.

12:24So that's, you've got to realise it's not just, I mean, yes, social media has got to be managed, but we're hooked into technology. Yeah. Massively. And this is the whole thing about addiction, right? So it's not, this is my belief and my belief only, right? It's not genetically passed on. Disposition to be addicted. No, we're humans. We like, if we do something we like, we'll do it again. And if we do it again and it works again, we'll do it again and again. Because we like things that make us feel good. And that builds a habit. There's your habit. The only trouble with bad habits, although they do form, is when they become bad for you.

13:07Right? And obsessive. Maybe you're not obsessive because if I go to the gym every day, which I do now because I just like spin class, am I obsessed with it? No, but it's my routine. I've created that routine, which I quite like. Right? Which is good. I like doing it. I wouldn't need to go to bed sleeping, thinking about spin cars in the morning, but I do think about the time and can I get booked on, right? So we're all susceptible to things we like. It's when we get the things we like which are bad for us, and that's when we get stigmatised for it, right? So give a young person, a very young person, four or five years old, an iPad, two or three weeks with games, and then take it away.

13:51and see what happens. There you've created your addict. So there'll be people watching, listening to this, that are either around someone, it could even be themselves that are addicted to something, gambling, playing games, drinking. You said earlier in conversation that you stopped overnight. So that's inspiring. That was through your doctor telling you something that you've then got to implement. You've got to have a desire to change those habits. what did you do? Well, just, you're right, it's a passion. You've got to be, look, and if you're watching, don't, I totally understand the frustration and the difficult, how difficult it is to stop because I think it took me.

14:38You've been there, right? It took me to the edge of the worst place before I did. And I'm literally trying to do away with myself by taking this much blood because I thought I'm not, I'm too scared to stop. I have not you've gone down a slope you have gone down a slope but the the moment of clarity right when I stopped and this is 27 years ago now in I went to detox but it was in in Paddington Lyssen Grove right the first mental hospital in London well theoretically for but I was sitting in the hospital in my local hospital again rocking backwards and forwards on a chair like this going I was asking for benzos I was asking for painkillers I was asking for any sort of changed the way I felt because I was so medicated and I was so wired but I was also very unwell I had lots of illnesses so I was in pain so the whole range of things going on but what happened was I sat there and this one moment of clarity was I came to the realization and my brain I felt my brain drop it's like I let go of every single anxious moment I've had it once before in India on a beach when I was sort of meditating in a way years ago and I just went it was like I'm a different person when every part of anxiety dropped and it happened to me in the hospital right and what I realized from that was what my takeaway was that I let go of the fear of living without drugs that one thing crux that one thing so you just you would be relying on it and then you told just let go of that one thought for that time for that one second split second because it came back like it didn't just go away and stay away because you know it took me I made that decision so the the cog, the CBT had started, right?

16:20So the big cog or the little cog had went, dink, and clicked into place. Like, right, there's that thought that's been holding you in this place for the last four or five years, right? That's clicked. Then the slightly bigger one clicked. What do I do? Who do I go and see? Where do I find the help? But that's curiosity. That's asking questions. That's now, if I've described it as a slippery slope, now you're coming up. Because if you're curious and you're looking for help, then you're ultimately... Of course, and there was no, because in 96, there was no help. You couldn't scream on the street that I've just stopped and go getting someone to help me.

16:51Was there no one around you? Obviously the doctors. There was the doctors, but there was the recovery, the 12-step fellowship were there, the meetings. And I went to meetings for a period of time. I found a few of the stuff I was a bit hard to swallow. So I backed off a bit and went on my own white knuckle journey, let's say. It was night knuckling. Because I sat in a room with my anxiety for about a year. I mean I went out but I went back in the room and I went in the corner of the room I sat there like this working through all my what they say is and there's a lot of stuff they say is really good when you get addicted to drugs you don't mature mentally because while that time you're addicted you're obsessed with what's going on that so around you the world is existing you're not or you are existing in your own little world so when you come out of that little world and you've got the big world everything that's thrown at you is like I've never done that, I've never done that, without the help of drugs.

17:45So you have to rewire all the stuff you've done. So, and I didn't choose to do it, I didn't distance myself, I went straight back into my beaver, I went straight back and saw my mates, I went straight back to DJing, and I was like, I just went and did it. I just went through the anxiety, felt it come over me in waves of fear. Did you get a lot of support from those people? Were they supportive of what you were doing? Were you telling them? So what I mean by that is, were you putting it out there that I'm not going there again? This is a different version of me. Well, I told you, everyone sort of went, culture, right?

18:17It was a culture, right? Of course. This was like 1996. It was party time. And I was the maddest party animal out there on the front page of magazines for being... Which also became part of your identity. Yes. That's why I was asking you whether... So Brandon said, it's going to be awesome. Then you're there going, I'm on the water, mate. Yeah, yeah. Did you have a bit of that where they were like, of course. Where are you going? I'm leaving. I've stopped. Of course you haven't. It takes a lot of willpower to remove yourself from what was that identity to then be like, this is where I need to go.

18:49You obviously manage that well. I think what you said earlier about what was the catalyst or the changing moment, I think, and you said it as well, it's about having the passion or the purpose or the vision, whatever you want to call it, whatever that moment is, it's that change. You say, right, I've made a decision which I do not want to go back on. So you can battle that, which we do every day. 100%. I mean, our biggest challenge is our voices in our head, right? Isn't it? It's the antagonism. But if you... So if it's important enough for you and it means enough to you, then the battle will be easier because you've...

19:31That decision I made was so strong. I can't describe it. I've never felt like this talking about it. It was so strong. I imagine my head dropped. and I went, I'm going to live. Hope. But you gave yourself it as well. Yeah, I said to myself. You took control. I found it myself. I didn't, no one said, because I didn't take it in. Everyone's going, don't tell me when I've had enough. Don't tell me I'll stop. What I realised was, I'm thinking, I'm clever. I lived this life, entrenched in this life, right? I had a list of where I'd go and see, right? Every week. so I drop off go to the I wouldn't go to the first three part of the week because they think I'm doing too much I go to the next three then go back to them back to them everyone's talking have you seen him have you seen him have you seen him and they all go of course we've seen him we've seen him we've seen him and like they haven't seen me they haven't seen me and you're in your own I'm in my own little world but that's also part of you protecting yourself right you knew that if you put yourself in that environment for long enough there may have been temptation or someone convincing to go back to a place that you don't want to go to so I think that's That's a deliberate visualization and behavior.

20:43It's the shame. It's the shame. I was shameful of what I was... I knew I was doing something which was so completely... I don't know how to describe it. It was just crazy, but not good. Not in a good way. I wasn't feeling good about it at any point, not in the last three years. It all stopped getting... It was really not great. Just listening to you, it's awful and painful to hear that you were sort of riddled with pain and kind of rocking in the chair and so on. So you've made that decision to come out of that. You do the steps that have kept you in a place that's just only built a habit and steps to be a brand and sat here now.

21:20Have you had any after effects and sort of things you carry with you now that are on the back of just how bad you got, you know, or have you managed to sort of remove all that you're clear and you're living a healthy, good life? It's a great question because I've thought about that a lot and I used to say to my psychiatrist, even back then, have I done permanent damage? You know what you were doing and how you were living, which was destroying your body and your mind, but you wouldn't know that now. So fair play and then is there anything that you have found out? There's one thing and it's probably a positive Northern look wow you know I was asking that you've made you the only person who asked me that and I've thought about it I've thought about a lot through my life since then right and I he said he said to me you've took nearly an ounce of cocaine every day for the last two months what do you think is gonna happen And I'm like, am I 95 % going to get back?

22:29And he was like, see how you get on? And I was like, I can't guarantee you're going to get back to any sort of... But what I've noticed, and it's taken a long, long time, more recently, and it's not, it's not, it doesn't have that. For me, it wasn't those light bulb moments, oh, I've come out of the... Oh, it wasn't like that. It was a painful learning journey. but what I've noticed recently is until talking about today I've forgotten it. Yeah. It's not something I remember as... That's brilliant mentally right and also maybe that overrides anything physical because there's a huge correlation to that and you've got spin classes and so on, you're looking after yourself now.

23:09Yeah but more so than I have done, but you know late on I'm 57 now so I started sort of like this is what 35 year olds do and I'm doing it now. But I've noticed that people talk about my old days and I'm struggling to remember the... I mean, I could if I went back and thought, well, I've got to think about that feeling, but it doesn't come into my head like, oh, I remember that moment. It's like a... You know, that's sort of something I used to do in my life. Like, I can't remember playing football for the Cubs, but I know I did. I know I scored a lot of goals in one season, but I can't recall any of them specifically.

23:43But like that, I can't recall... not unless I sit and think wholeheartedly about one particular bit, it's a level now. It's leveled out. I've moved into a new, rewired it all. That's brilliant. I mean, you're a success story. You're bouncing with energy. Thank you. And just trying to even imagine you rocking in a chair in a place where, you know, but you sort of say how much you've changed. The DJing world has changed massively, right? So is there still a culture there of drugs, drinking, addiction? And the other thing is lack of sleep, right? I mean, you know, and you're still DJing. So it's this whole, like, how does a youngster looking into this see the landscape now?

24:28Is there any pressure to be part of the nightlife scene that goes hand in hand with drinking? Because it feels like that's changing. Non-alcoholic beers, people are out there. They're embracing the movement and the music itself. They don't seem to need the... I could be so wrong. No, you know what? I think about this often as well, mate, because...

24:52I'm not... You know what? Because I'm like you now. Honestly, I don't know the full story. People assume that I do because I knew it. I don't know now is the answer. I get that. At a certain point, you were the king of it. You were immersed in it. But then at that time, you were probably absolutely smashed off. But you know what? One thing I do know, or a couple of things I do know is now that, yes, peer pressure, yes, be part of it. I get that, but you're right. There's a lot more non-alcoholic drinks being drunk. A lot of the young people are embracing disco music and soulful disco music and house music generally.

25:33but also a lot of that and not just any old school I'm sort of about tasteful music you know stuff that we would we used to immerse ourselves in because it's all carrying through so there's there's a lot of cultural changes I think in in that world yes I'm sure there's lots of drugs I've heard there's I've heard horror stories about ketamine and um you know uh lots of other these manufactured drugs which are you know impure and I'm sure there's lots to go on and and you I worked in the Drug and Alcohol Service, so I'm aware of, although it's not been a while and things have changed, but I'm also aware of the underbelly of what goes on in social life.

26:17It's probably worse because we don't know what went on. We still don't know what the full impact of the pandemic was. Not many people have said that to me actually, Because it's very insightful. Because it was only when I was working, I was doing outreach during the pandemic. I was an essential worker, right, for the Hep C Trust. So I was delivering medication to people who can cure themselves of Hep C, by the way. But when I sat down, I spoke to someone and I thought, just one area of life, which let's say there's a treatment system, for instance, like the NHS, and moving forward with... So you forget who was impacted by that.

26:54Staying in, not getting out of services. So it's not just about people being unwell. Children at home who are not in great home situations. One lot, social services, adult social services, mental health services, drug services, police, ambulance.

27:16It's the whole world impact. And that doesn't just go away. so you yes financially I get the work that's recovered, they can do that they're quite good at that, you know making more money again but it's the other people the people who live in the realm of normal let's say or everyday life who struggle and I'm probably struggling now, on the back of that still a lot of them are still masking or they haven't actually understood the unravelling because of the habit forming so I totally get that Yeah, you've explained that really well. Scary. I asked you about that aspiration element of DJing, someone coming through and so on.

28:02Oh, sorry, yes. No, no, no. I want to go back to you because it's all linked to mental health, aspiration or something. Is it a career that you would encourage seeing it as it is now? Because I guess you did it and you thrived in it, but you also nearly died. right now it feels like something that um creative people can create a massive following social media it's uh incredibly rewarding traveling you know it just it i can see the attraction yeah i'm just trying to see if there's if there is a negative and how hard it is into breaking as well right so but let's this at each point so it's easier but i say that isn't it wrong because as you said earlier, many people want to do it.

28:47Loads of people, you know, it's, I suppose as a, look, this is about, let's go back to the mental health, this is about addiction again, right, so fame, right? YouTube started, right? One of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which you know Maslow, Abraham Maslow? So one of them is significance. We need significance in our lives, right, to be someone. So YouTube gave that opportunity to everyone to be someone by sharing whatever. You know, whatever you do, you just put a video up. Because before that, it was literally the channels on TV, right? And that's it. That's why you became famous. So fame became addictive.

29:24How many likes? How many dislikes? How many... This is where the men went, oh, no one likes me. And it affected people. People took their own lives because of this stuff, right? So moving forward, it's... If you can create that, But is it underlying? What's it causing? Yes, I get you can create your own channels. You can be an influencer. You can put your music out. It's very easy to get your music out. But it's about, what's the word? Continuity. You'd be very lucky to get a one-hit record. If you do, good luck to you. But you've got to have a backup. So if you continually put music out, you'll get recognition.

30:08You'll get, because it then becomes on the internet. You've got like track source beatport who will once you see 10 12 13 you put a record out a week it becomes Part of the be consistent Consistency is key Passion is key, right and then also being aware of Your interaction and is it affecting you? I would say because I know that if I was doing it now I would probably be going got be on social media got be on social media got be sharing got to be sharing, got to be sharing my tunes, got to be sharing my music, how do I get it out there, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it would be constant. So you've got to be aware that you take time out to be good to yourself, do some stuff which is good for you, calm down, let your mind rest.

30:56Remove yourself from it. You remove yourself and you can then come back to it any time. Because it is a creative process, right? It is. And if you're immersed in it too much. It's creative. You don't get creative by getting overwhelmed and burnt out, which is what is I can imagine I'm not saying I know it's the case at all but you know you've got an organization here which deals with exactly what we're talking about and it's wonderful but you know again we get so quick nowadays to get immersed in that having to be having to be that's just a great line I've got to be I've got to be what you got to be I've got to be I've just got to be and relating this to you now it's conscious of time yes Brandon Block there's so much that anyone will know about you in your 57 years what is random being now what is your kind of mission what is it that you're wanting to achieve to be honest i was i was uh and this is gonna be it's quite profound but until i walked in here today i was being i was being just do my gear go home go to sleep go to the speed class I'm in a place in my life at a moment where I'm looking for something again and I didn't know what that was so lacking purpose yeah I suppose a little bit of lacking purpose but I've had some people recently come and contact me again about you know talking about coaching not coaching wrong word helping them mentoring good word you'd be good at that yeah so I like doing that it turns out I do and because I don't do it for any particular gain I do it because I enjoy doing it and if I can help impart something which triggers something in someone else then my job's done sort of thing but walking in here today you have now lit the spark in the in the in the love that honestly mate you really have and I love it and speaking to the you know Dan and the young lot earlier about just life and how they manage it because I really do I I get overwhelmed thinking about what they have to...