Katrina Ridley | Extraordinary Life Stories

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0:45Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at windows.com slash student offer. While supplies last, ends June 30th. Terms at aka.ms slash college PC. There's like a pretty bias. So if you're deemed societally attractive, people will see your traits as quirks rather than an issue. So it's like, oh, that's endearing. Then I was watching during rehearsals, I was watching Dermot and I was one of like 20 girls and I was behind take that, you know, dancing around. And then I was looking at Dermot and I was like, I can hold my own.

1:23Like, why am I one of these 20 back here when I could do that? This is what I want to do and I'm going to take the steps in place, which you clearly did. You changed your socials and all the behaviour that you were then practising, if you like, were angling you towards what you're doing now. I was touring with Thriller and every city we went to in the UK, I sort of used it as an opportunity to sort of tour radio stations. We've gone through a journey where we now know we have ADHD. What's that been like for you? Katrina, welcome. Thanks. Thanks for having me. You had loads of time to prepare for this, haven't you?

2:00I know, so much time. Yeah, loads of prep. Fair play to you. And you were saying to me as well, you'd almost sort of, you're relaxed now, you're so used to being a person, asking questions and so on. So you can just chill now and give me all your lived experience, all your knowledge. Yeah, I always find it quite interesting to be like, ah, what will they draw out of me? Let's see. Well, let's find out. But let's start with who is Katrina Ridley? okay so um I suppose my professional spiel um is I'm a presenter and a broadcaster and I like to sort of say an activist or an advocate now because I think I'm being more values driven in recent years um but yeah I've been presenting on heart for the last five six years and um I'm the host of the rethinkers podcast and yeah i guess doing more bits in sort of tv pushing more sustainable narratives and alternative narratives there's a real purpose behind everything you do isn't there there's a why every time i speak i try to actually speak truthfully now because i think i'm so used to wanting to give someone like a one-liner of this is my mission statement like i used to say you know when i was trying to fit in more into like those important rooms that i want to put more alternative and sustainable views into mainstream media but i mean the more i sort of delve into that the more i'm just sort of allowing whatever that becomes you know i don't really want to be able to comprehend the things that i'm going to do and i think it's an interesting time probably for both of us in what we're doing in terms of i guess broadcasting podcast side of things is that there probably was a stricter narrative certainly 10 years ago which would have compromised both of us that natural curiosity that aligns us where you know what is going to happen whereas there would have been a director a producer in our ear saying ask her this and that's a nice time to be a creator i do kind of wish there was a bit more structure because i think like i love chaos and freedom but i guess for media when i was growing up it was very easy to see like oh that person's on t4 oh i'd like to be there how do i get there whereas now it's cool that you know anyone has created freedom and a voice but equally sometimes i'm then sat there you know i'm like totally freelance going right you know what avenue should i push now or you know should i create my own thing or like what is so yeah i think it's great but also a bit overwhelming well i guess it's a wide open creativity if you like rather than going into a niche was there was there a role model for you when you were growing up and obviously going into what you've done how did you get into the kind of the radio side of things I guess I can remember the tipping point um but so I basically trained as a professional dancer well again going into my whole life story originally I was more academic and um I wanted to study neuroscience or psychology and basically I was like if I get into Oxford then I'm going to do psychology or if not then I'm going to go and be a dancer and had my Oxford interview like you know I didn't come from a private school so I like tried to dress all nerdy took my makeup off I was wearing glasses obviously didn't get into Oxford because I was just like so like I just didn't really get what was going on anyway then became a professional dancer instead and then I remember sort of doing a really cool job and everyone was like oh this is like the peak of my career and we were dancing behind take that on x factor and after like day one of rehearsals I just came home and cried because I was like is this it and it was all these you know I was probably one of the youngest dancers I was thinking you're like 10 years my senior this is the highlight of my whole career I can do so much more than this How old were you then?

5:55Maybe like 24, 23. It's a really impressionable time, right? Because that's proper, like you're trying to make the right decisions that set you up for you know, more sort of grown up stuff. I remember being 24 and doing various sales roles and so I was like, I need to really lock in on something. Yeah. And kind of go with it. Well, I think I already knew obviously like dance isn't very much a long term career of, you know by the time you hit 30 you're a bit screwed um but on x factor then i was watching during rehearsals i was watching dermot and i was one of like 20 girls you know i'm also not really a girly girl and i was behind take that you know dancing around and then i was looking at dermot and i was like i can hold my own like why am i one of these 20 back here when i could do that and i remember just spending the whole rehearsal week like watching him like with the auto cue Well, he remembers you.

6:48He'd be like, I remember you. You didn't stop staring at me. Yeah, exactly. Now, actually, we used to be with the same agent and I really wanted to tell him. You should. It's flattering. Maybe that'll be a DM. So that goes back to role model, actually, if you think about it. So that's someone that you locked on and thought, I can do that. And you learned by watching him. And did that then take you to ultimately being at heart? My mum said to me years ago, like, I think you'd be a really good presenter. I don't know why. um but whilst I was at dance college there was a local radio station and they did traffic and travel and I'm just I'm just quite spontaneous anyway I was like oh yeah I'll give that a go um but after the x-factor thing I just decided that I was going to be a presenter so I just changed my social media bios and started telling people that I was a presenter and when people were asked of what i just said well nothing yet but that's what i do now so you manifested it yeah i i feel so i get so triggered by that word but like i yeah i get why really well for me it's visualization yeah so you i mean because manifestation could be interpreted that that's where i want to be and then and you don't actually know how you're going to get there yeah visualization for me is um this is this is what i'm this is what i want to do and i'm going which you clearly did you changed your socials and all the behavior that you were then practicing if you like were angling you towards what you're doing now at that time I was still working as a dancer and a model but trying to you know earn some money whilst trying to pivot multitasking to to do what you actually now really enjoy yeah and every uh I was touring with Thriller and every city we went to in the UK I sort of used it as an opportunity to sort of tour radio stations so I'd use the theatre to get in touch with like the PR teams at different places so I basically did a tour of different heart stations capital stations contacted each one so whilst I was on tour as a dancer coming in just like sitting watching learning um and then yeah it was someone who I sat with and sort of took a chance on me and went oh actually she's kind of interesting she's not our generic sort of love the radio but like radio nerd you hear like a lot of the same voices and demographics and then it just went a bit better than I thought to be honest I love that do you think that war authenticity backed up with clearly a load of drive like you can see it in your eyes right you know you're you're locking onto something you're going to see it through you're going to smash it and I can see why you know that that that probably works really well But do you think that just being yourself was sort of almost sort of perfect timing where a stereotypical type radio presenter had been what we've all got kind of bored of over time?

9:40Do you know what I mean? I feel like that's the thing I have to offer. The crossover of, you know, being a highly skilled broadcaster, but also not fitting the stereotypical box. You know, not that. I sort of hate that sometimes when people are like, oh, different. But I think it depends who you speak to. Like the guy, especially from Heart, who really gave me so much time and took a chance on me. He clearly saw that and appreciated it. But then I don't know. Sometimes I was like I was saying, I just feel like I'm the weird one. You know, everyone everyone leads quite like stereotypical lives and very commercial naturally.

10:22Whereas, you know, I don't think anyone else on a radio show talks about like foraging and. just random birds I think sometimes people love it but then sometimes people are like where did we get this girl from like why why is she on national radio but it's working for you yeah I mean like I just think now I actually I think I've spent so much of my life like pretending or trying to fit in and now I just think well like this is who I am and this is the truth so now it's kind of I'm just going places like if you want that that's what I have to offer I love that and I think that puts it back to the people's choice.

10:58Well, that's up to them if they listen to you or not. There's all sorts of other people on the radio they can listen to and they've chosen to. Because I'm craving authenticity. I was looking forward to this. And also, part of what you just described there, that relentless kind of drive to go around and tap into every radio station wherever you went on that tour. You're researching, ultimately. You're learning. You're seeing how they all work. You're gaining so much knowledge. And it's properly entrepreneurial. And you've got Rethinkers podcast. that's your own podcast yeah so we did two seasons of it and I'm hoping to do a third but I think yeah that was the first time I used my own creative judgment and authentic voice and I think it really screwed me over because I realized like how thrilling that is and like cathartic to just go oh this is actually what I believe in and what I'm interested in rather than I suppose me looking at sort of like big shiny things going oh how do I fit into your narrative and and um yeah do well in sort of your eyes whereas with the re-thinkers I was trying to get it commissioned for so long so in my mind I was like I don't care if one person listens to it or if you know if a million people listen to it like it it was I just felt so strongly about what I was talking about and exploring those topics.

12:19I just want to do those things that sort of set me on fire that I really care about. There's an invaluable message buried in that as well. There are a lot of people that do not have what is I guess confidence and the sort of self-awareness if you like to be their complete authentic self. Like you there I don't care if anyone listens to it this is what I want to do and I'm going to make it happen. There are countless other people that won't put themselves in that place of judgment it could be to put themselves on social media put themselves forward for a job interview because that's that's for someone else even though they'd love to do it what advice would you give because it feels like it comes so naturally to you but you know you just see any kind of blocker like that as an obstacle you just go around it or through it but for someone that's watching listening to inspired by you what advice would you give me i think firstly it's important that i am representative of you know i'm not just all the time this like brave I think I still have so many anxieties and like hesitations about things even sometimes when I'm posting on social media I'll think like oh is this too much or but I think my advice to someone is I don't know I'm kind of driven by I don't want to have any regrets and if you've got an opportunity to be brave then why wouldn't you you know and it and And it doesn't mean that I'm not scared or I'm not worried about how people perceive me.

13:47But it sounds a bit cringe, but sort of like feeling those things and just doing it anyway. Because yeah, I think definitely in the last few years, I've become very aware of like mortality and impermanence. And you know, what's the other option? You only live once, right? Yeah, exactly. Without being reckless. Yeah. But I get it. I have that same mentality and I've got years on you, but it's a constant for me. It's like, actually, I don't want to have that regret where what if I tried? What if I'd given that a go? And I think that's invaluable information there. You mentioned the word chaos earlier.

14:21ADHD. We had the chat. You've got a bottle filled up with some ADHD meds. I've been diagnosed literally like two and a half months ago. So within a very short space of time, we've gone through a journey where we now know we have ADHD. What's that been like for you? Totally like just mad. of yeah I think explaining so many things from again I think I really feel strongly about having regrets and now understanding how my brain works and going oh that's why that relationship broke down you know it wasn't just because I was rubbish it was because that was how my brain worked and I understand or yeah even now sort of trying to make better decisions whilst also embracing all those things about my adhd brain that i think are great but i mean like i'm so sort of against the idea of me taking meds before i was like oh you know even if i've got a headache i'm like oh maybe a tea will fix it i'm still like that okay so i'm really interested in this yeah i haven't gone the meds and just sorry to interrupt you but i've almost not wanted to lose what i now embrace as some kind of crazy supercharged relentless energy in me and i don't want to be calmed down and not having the output and so on it's like i'm and i don't take a paracetam when i've got a headache and stuff i just try and get through it drink more water yeah yeah yeah i i was worried about that but then i thought i want to make an educated decision i don't want to say no to the meds and then be like oh but what what could it have been like um now I'm like give me all the drugs this is great um but it's I don't feel like it's gotten rid of my creativity or chaos and maybe that's because I'm still in the titration process and the dosage is working but I sort of been finding like I hosted a big event on Sunday and normally I just get into this like energy of I will just give you my entire soul and energy until I'm just like a little raisin and I can't help myself and I can't stop it and then I'll get to the end of the day and I'm just like I'm so burnt out and depleted.

16:36You're giving everything. Yeah whereas it was kind of fun to notice on Sunday I still had that like electric energy and but I was kind of just fine and more comfortable with some silences like even if that's with a big crowd whereas before it was like all these overthinking thoughts and going like oh you know what are they thinking this are they thinking this am i being awkward now is it this and it was kind of like just being able to have peace peace and a bit more clarity that's interesting because i was going to ask you about the kind of i call them the voices in my head yeah i could be so awful to myself like that you know if anyone could hear the voices in my head out loud they'd be like do not talk to him like they wouldn't talk to anyone like that and i wondered if that's calmed down because without taking any meds that has worked for me there's a forgiveness there's an element of okay i understand this whole neurodivergent element of it i'm i'm getting information from you and other people i'm talking to all the time now where there's elements of understanding yourself better reflecting on things that you know you can sort of see why you did behave a certain way to then being more forgiving moving forward have you got that yeah i think in a in an imperfect sense yes and i did i before i got my diagnosis and meds i'd been seeing an ADHD coach for quite a few months so I think all of those stories and things um I had been like learning and unlearning and I think definitely the meds have made it a bit better but then this weekend was the first time I sort of noticed that voice come back of you know I just got an email from the person who booked me on the job saying oh thanks Katrina for your help this weekend send us your invoice blah blah blah and because she didn't say you did such a good job this weekend i just look at that email i'm going oh my god she hates me looking for validation yeah like i must have done so badly um so i think it's easier to notice those thoughts and go okay i see why and even chatting to other people who have adhd and i think especially women in that space and just seeing sort of like almost how much of a cliche that horrible voices definitely gives it less weight since you mentioned women adhd and women wasn't even a thing until very recently my point being it wasn't the social doctors years ago decided it was just boys and so there's counter stories of women that find out much later in life than you and then it's you know not too late but it's just so much of life is gone yeah i was going to say there's also a big um i found like there's a two bias biases that exist in adhd diagnosis and i think autism as well but there's a racial bias of i guess because you've got this idea of like oh a hyper little white boy running around being chaotic at school so a lot of people of mixed heritage don't get diagnosed and equally there's like a pretty bias so if you're deemed societally attractive people will see your traits as quirks rather than an issue so it's like oh that's endearing um so yeah it's i read it in um in a girl called ellie mid's book and yeah i was like oh this also makes a lot of sense yeah there's a lot of work that needs to be done there right yeah and that's actually interesting you said that i know who you mean with ellie as well i need to read the book clearly so good you you mentioned um oh sorry not that you mentioned i've i feel like i've met you at a really interesting time where you've you've come through the last sort of six seven years of all sorts of new things and trying what have you not tried yet that you've kind of almost got as your north star or is it just a journey that's evolving I think it's evolving but I think my decision making is less like from a young age I just my goal in anything whether it was academia dance I just wanted to be the best at everything so you're proper competitive yeah I was like whatever the best is like I you know I think at one point I was like I want to be a CEO you know I don't know what it was about that whereas I think now my decisions definitely feel more like feeling and intuition led so yeah at the moment sort of the things that I'm even whether it's like people like oh you know am I getting a good sort of vibe or energy from them because I think we have so much more knowledge in our animal bodies than our intellect it's not what we're saying it's how we're interacting and body language right yeah it's huge yeah so I guess I'm sort of just like following feelings at the moment I'm really enjoying writing I guess because from a young age I sort of told myself I hated English at school and I hate writing even though I'd get good grades and yeah just anything I feel skeptical of or I'm scared to do I know I'm like oh I need to do that.

21:46So you changed the whole narrative from something that you didn't enjoy because you're a natural creative so I'm surprised to hear you say that because you're enjoying writing now that's you putting ideas on paper that allows you to express your feelings right yeah i think what sort of writing are you doing a lot of um i'd say sort of short essays and like memoir kind of things and where are these going to end up well are we going to see these are they going to end up in a book yeah maybe again like i think at the moment i'm loving using substack because it just feels so it feels really like vloggy and like a bit retro and that concept of i don't care if one person or one million people read it but this is what's true to me um so i don't know i'm kind of trying to take the pressure off of you know this has to be the biggest and best thing otherwise it's a failure it's worked for you before right that's twice in the sort of 20 minutes you've been talking where you said i don't know that's worked because actually that's a really interesting mindset doing it you're doing what feels right what's authentic I think that's what everyone's craving rather than someone critiquing it or someone saying I'll just put that in or don't do that it's just raw yeah I think so and I would like to possibly well even get to the point where I have enough self-confidence or belief or know how it works a bit more to go like okay well now I write a column here or do you know actually I'm gonna this is good enough and I'm good enough so I'm gonna you know put this forward in a book proposal um but yeah i'm just kind of like not forcing i love that so i i sit very much in a kind of entrepreneur founder hub and you may already know this but less than two percent of vc funding goes to female founders and there's all sorts of different reasons why that might be but just just picking up on that um one of the things that i've found sits at the heart of that is actually a lack of self-belief and confidence in women to come through and start their own business and you were just questioning your own self-belief and confidence there where do you sit with that I think deep down I think I have I don't know this like inner knowing of I feel like I have so much to offer and again I don't want that to sound egotistical but I feel it feels like I don't know if it feels big you know it feels like what I've done so far is just it's great but it still feel like it feels like there's a lot more to unfold yeah so I think deep down there's like a big confidence but then I think you know learning more about myself now I've always been that person who's like going against the grain doesn't quite fit in there's always felt like a bit weird socially and so I think it like then takes a huge amount of persistence and confidence and conviction to sort of try and progress your different opinion or approach in rooms where I mean like everyone is often quite similar or following society's norms so I think yeah I do have a huge amount of self-belief but then it's like very much tested when sort of a lot of big decision makers are from the same demographic I find yeah I get that but you're getting validation even even from how we've been connected um and i'll name him tim ferris lovely guy and he knows his black books phenomenal and so for me to have a chat with him and say hey you know um you know lots of different people you know i love talking to people about proper authentic have a proper authentic conversation and he says you have to meet katrina i hope that kind of alongside everything else it's going well for you.

25:28There's a validation that being, use your word, weird and out there and so on. It's what we all want. You know, that whole stereotypical whatever it is that's sort of stayed in a lane. People are trying to get out of that. There's a mental health conversation there that sits outside that whole like being nice to yourself in your head and so on. How do you prioritize it? What works? Because you've got a busy schedule, right? You've got the radio, you've got the different business interests that you've got and trying to also make time to keep both physically being mentally fit. What do you do? When you need to build up your team to handle the growing chaos at work, use Indeed Sponsored Jobs.

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26:43Plus, guided learning paths with content designed to fit your unique interests. No sifting to find exactly what you need so you can spend your time learning to trade brilliantly. learn more at schwab.com slash trading um i think i'm really good at appearing like i'm very busy which i love because i feel like that's how like more jobs happen you know it's everyone's like i know you're so busy but like the reality is is like i spend so much time doing different hobbies and like literally sing at home on my boat with my cat um hey on your boat yeah i feel like i should know this yeah so i live on a narrow boat i did not know that yeah i feel like i should make a pdf to be like here are all the generic boat i'd much rather find out real time i love that yeah so um how do i prioritize that i think well to be honest maybe a year and a half ago two years ago i've never been depressed before and just like oh my gosh i now understand what depression feels like and I think it was a combination of not having enough self-worth some family things happening but I was also working night shifts for heart and I sort of wanted to progress so bad that I was continuing doing something that made me feel awful burning yourself out yeah and also now I know that sort of sleep cycle people who are neurodiverse are way more sensitive to that which makes sense so now I'm like oh it's not because I'm weak it's actually which goes back to being more forgiving and understanding but yeah you've got to go on the journey to learn right yeah so I guess from I'm kind of glad I I sort of got to that rock bottom what got you through it

28:35um sort of getting into my body like I remember the only thing when I was feeling very depressed was like I had to get myself into cold water whether that was I'd go to my local sauna and ice bath or like the Lido or just like going to the sea and it was sort of like shocking myself back into my body um so a lot of that and then a lot of therapy and just like learning the basics of like you know sleep a normal sleeping pattern prioritizing it yeah I'm really bad at that yeah because I just you know literally talking to Troy Troy Deeney earlier he was up till 3 30 last night just trying to get something done for business he's trying to I'm like I just need to get this done I just need to finish that and then it's just late really late yeah I think it genuinely is for me now that maybe a lot of my self-worth before came from achievements and external things and now I'm so deep into communities where I'm so valued for me and it doesn't matter like half the time a lot of my friends don't even know what my what my job is or what I'm interested in but it's like having that being seen and valued and understood now I'm like oh no I come as number one not not all of these things that I want to do and yeah I think it's just being very feeling led that's kind of like the priority i love that the people you spend spend time with and surround yourself with your tribe is so important i've been picking up on that through this conversation of course we know how we've connected to someone that champions you sees you for being the talent that you are if you like and and can probably pick you up when you need it as well which you know dare i say you don't but we all do don't we even that email you got at the weekend someone like me can turn around and say I'm sure they absolutely thought you were brilliant yeah I sent it to my boyfriend and he was like that seems a dramatic response and I was like yeah and he's like hyper logical so it's quite nice to put my like very emotional brain to him and he's like yeah like the facts are they told you you did a good job on the day so probably it's fine one of the reasons why I was really looking forward to talking with you is I've got two daughters two teenage daughters so i'm going to kind of use that that role model scenario you will be and are a role model to a lot of people and whether you feel that or not and i think one of the key parts of that is just being your authentic self which so many people either feel they can't or are trying to be so aspiring to be exactly what you're doing with that sort of maturity perspective you've got to get to where you are now and again reflecting looking back what advice would you give to a younger version of yourself um be patient and be kind and yeah I think just trust yourself more because I think I'm so easily swayed by other people and like now I'm sort of realizing yeah you're just one of those people who's meant to be I'm meant to kick start things I'm meant to go against the grain and that's fine um so yeah sort of just not don't try and fit in just like allow allow yourself to come out and look how well it's working for you right you're glowing from it i'm excited i feel like i've met you at a time where yeah there's there's almost like a whole period of of your life that's built to something that we don't know what that is yet that i i will call i'll play this clip one day when you're just absolutely smashing it being your authentic self but you've made time to film with me today on a day with tube strikes and at short notice as well so thank you katrina i hope you've enjoyed it yeah you enjoyed being on this side yeah i love i just i'd love to just be on this side all the time just chilling well i've loved being on this side for this jack because you're you are an inspiration i hope you take that from me i've loved to talk to me thank you thank you it's very formal thank you you're awesome

32:41Thank you.