Pandora Christie | Extraordinary Life Stories

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1:00Pandora Christie:I know you asked this question and it's such a hard one to answer because we're going to think really about ourselves and go in deep. Who is Pandora Christie? OK, I would say she is a work in progress. I would say she's a overthinker. She's a learner, constantly learning. she's a grower deep down she's someone who just wants to make people feel good about themselves like she wants to put a smile on people's faces it's been in the core of me since I was like little and I think that that's just I've taken that with me since I was in care I think that person that wants to put a smile on someone's face at some point in your life you clearly didn't have a smile on your face so it feels like there's a lot of wanting to give back to someone that at one time was pretty lonely.

1:54I think it was more of, I was a people pleaser because I felt that I had to be. So I was in and out of care from literally a baby. And I think that at the time I didn't obviously know it,

2:09Pandora Christie:but growing up, I wanted people to not just like me, I wanted them to love me. I wanted families to love me. So no matter how often I was going to be spending time with them whether it was going to be a two-week period because my mum was unwell, whether it be because we were homeless, so I'd be with them for six weeks, two months, maybe a year. I had to get them to love me above everything and I kind of worked that out. I think that in my 20s looking back at my personality, the things that I do, the choices that I make, the personality traits that I have and I think it was more that, that if I wanted you to keep me, if I wanted to stay in your family or to invite me back, I had to get you to think of a certain way.

2:50Pandora Christie:So whatever you wanted, I would do. And it's weird, isn't it? Well, this is a proper people-pleasing. Yes. Performing. Yes. But that's for other people rather than yourself. It's exhausting. Well, yeah, because I was kind of moulding myself to whatever you want. So if I'm with you now, okay, what do you want? What do you like? What do you not like? And I'd be trying to work you out and then be that person, if you see what I mean. It's almost like a little chameleon going from family to family. It's a great word for it, actually. Yeah. But actually, there's a lot of skills that come with that. which stands you in amazingly good stead now, communication skills, empathy, pre-empting behavior to then try and work out how to make someone else love you, if you like.

3:28But that's actually now something that you're now doing effortlessly, if you like. I've sort of jumped straight from the beginning to what you're doing right now.

3:35Pandora Christie:But you know what I mean? Do you acknowledge that? I do. Good. I do. Because there's a person that, dare I say, was doing that at a time when you weren't necessarily happy. but it feels like right now there's a very at peace pandora sitting here 100 100 but having you say that has kind of made it more apparent you know i mean so thank you yeah yeah but to get to that point you've you know i'm going to go straight in you know you had your mother die in your arms at nine years old at times you were clearly very insecure you're moving around i want to know how you got to that peaceful state where you had to fight at times to get sort of attention from people and build your own strength up because you must be one resilient girl.

4:23Well that's taken years, lots of years. When my mum died I think that I shut it off, it wasn't I shut down, I shut off. So if we went all the way back to friends at school and neighbours of the families that I was living in at the time that were fostering me, they wouldn't have known that I was fostered because I wouldn't want to talk about my mother dying. Social workers, they tried to make me open up and I just wouldn't, just wouldn't come out of my mouth. So it wasn't as if I went into a depression, it wasn't as if I, well I was hiding something, wasn't it? I was hiding trauma, but it wasn't something that I knowingly did.

5:07You put it in a box.

5:08Pandora Christie:It was almost like a, see this, it's like a black, what is it, like a wall. A screen, just pull the screen across it. It was more like a screen. I went and then that was it. So I didn't go there. So at schools you'd have thought that my foster parents were my birth parents. You would just assume that. And then if you met them, because I had white foster parents at one point. So there'd be times when I wouldn't invite people from schools because I didn't want to go into the fact that I was fostered because then it would be more apparent. And then when I moved into a black family, you could all, because I'm mixed race, so you could probably tell then.

5:41Pandora Christie:So it's having that, if I invite people over or if they see both at the same time, then all of a sudden I'm going to have to talk about it. I'm going to have to talk about, oh, I don't have my mother. My mother died when I was nine and I would not talk about it. so there was a lot going on that I didn't speak about and I wouldn't show people but on the outside everything was fine. So a defense mechanism was that the fact that there's a lot of trauma there right so was that you not wanted to talk about it because it takes you back there and then you haven't processed it or is it more that actually in some way you were trying to face forward as it's happened can't do anything about it I've got to get on with my life.

6:15Pandora Christie:It's hard like it's hard to answer what I what I was thinking or going through at that particular time. Do you know what I mean? So it happened when I was nine and I can't truthfully answer that because I don't know. All I know is that it carried on all up until my 20s because I've only really started speaking about this over the last, what, 10 years maybe? Really? And then I think that it came a certain point. So I spoke to a person in care. This was many, many, many years ago and they had heard me on the radio and somehow they had got the fact that I was fostered. I have no idea. To this day, I don't know.

7:00And she said to me, you know I've always looked up to you. I've read about you. I've heard about you. I know you were fostered. I know that your mum passed away and look at you now. And I was so taken aback.

7:17Pandora Christie:I couldn't understand where this had come from. I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to lie. So I just gave him a hug and I said, oh, thank you so much. This really means a lot to me. And I walked away because I wasn't ready to deal with that. And to this day, I don't know who that person is. I don't know how they knew because I hadn't been public about it. Because that opened up, that pulled the screen back, right? Because I could, with my story, with what I've been through, with the job that I do now, from being homeless to having a home to having an incredible job and incredible opportunities if i can help and inspire other people what am i doing what what is my platform for why am i here with you why are we here why are you doing what you do do you know what i mean and i i really want to thank that person but i have i still to this day don't know who they are or how they got that they must have known someone that knew me they must have i love that and when we were talking out there just minutes ago you know you were saying you are talking all the time on the radio and you get to meet all sorts of different people and you're talking about them and we're having this chat about it's going to be about you and how much of a privilege that is for me and how much I'm looking forward to that but you almost had a sort of imposter syndrome about it I feel like although you had that to a point here right now you own it you've got to that sort of maturity stop it not in an arrogant way not in an arrogant way but you get it because that 10 year journey you've been on from someone that drew that screen to then the screens moved back that vulnerability you brought that in to be someone that clearly resonates with so many people that's where i think you know your clear popularity comes from that authenticity how hard was it from the minute that conversation happened it's clearly life-changing to then build that back into conversation did you feel that kind of vulnerability as a strength no I I kind of saw that that vulnerability as something it was almost like I wanted it to still be hidden it took a lot so even after that and even after I went home and I processed it I processed it I was thinking what am I doing what can I do how can I help I still thought but if I have to talk about it then it's almost as if like I'm opening up another can of worms and then you know watching my mother die there's always going to be a part of guilt I mean you know I'm nine years old I couldn't have done anything more but in my head now as an adult I'm like why didn't I call 999 quicker why did I think that she was joking because you know she was having a heart attack in front of me I didn't know what was happening I thought that she was she was playing because we had a very playful relationship.

9:56Pandora Christie:She was always mucking around and making me smile. And I thought that's what she was doing. So if I was quicker, could I have saved her life? Do you understand what I mean? So it's all of those things. If I start talking about it, I personally have to go down that journey. Do you see what I mean? So I was very still quite guarded about telling my story, being open, because to tell it, you have to be able to tell everything and your whole personality your whole life your whole insecurities are just laid bare and that is terrifying terrifying you're a stronger person you've been through so much and tim who's sitting out of out of our line here quite quietly could not stop talking about how strong you are how much energy you've got and obviously i can feel that coming off you.

10:45Stop it. Thank you. No, it's powerful. And that's the bit I love is that there's clearly a part of you that was locked up that is now allowed to, I'll use that word again, flourish. You can be your true self. And I think there's a hugely powerful message there for anyone that dare I say is locking up part of themselves. And I think that's what makes you a role model. And we were having that chat about role models in the day as well, right? Yeah, we were. Do you see yourself as a role model?

11:10Pandora Christie:No, because that's because I'm thinking about me. So we all put ourselves down and we all like, I'm not perfect. I'm really not. So you've still got those voices in the head. See, it's there, isn't it? But for me to call myself a role model, if someone else calls me, oh, God, that'd be amazing. That'd be an honour. I just did. Stop it. Well, it is an honour, though. It is. But for me to say it, it almost feels weird because then I feel like I should have been helping from a long time ago. I know, but that's how I feel. I think there's, you know, I've got two daughters, 14 and 15. So, you know, a woman that is ultimately at the top of your game now and, you know, huge numbers on the heart radio, clearly super popular.

11:54That's put you in a public space where other girls can aspire to do that. And I just wonder where you sat where to get to where you got to now. Was there a role model for you that you sort of looked up to? Because that's that's me telling you now you are to my daughters to a Gen Z coming through. Yeah. And then you've got your story to go to go with it. But, you know, how did you sort of get to where you get to now? And was there anyone you looked up to that was a role model to you?

12:19Pandora Christie:Well, I remember looking up to Margarita Taylor, incredible broadcaster. She was on the TV as well. Now, bear in mind, I'm mixed race. And back in the day, day, day, you'd never even see someone of my colour on the screen, let alone a female. And also the fact that she was doing radio. So I just looked at her and just thought, wow, that's someone like me who is absolutely smashing it on all kinds of areas that I want to get involved in. You could identify with that, right? Exactly. And do you know what? I think that's very important, isn't it? When you're growing up, no matter what ethnic background you're from, you do need personable role models because it hits harder.

13:04Pandora Christie:Do you know what I mean? We can all look at anyone. But if you see someone that looks like you, has a similar background to you or a similar story, you just think oh my god if they're doing it and so can i and that's where the real power comes from i love that and the journey to getting onto the radio yeah and i'm going to learn this real time rather than reading or kind of listening um did you go on sort of get trained for it or did you just put yourself forward in true kind of entrepreneurial style and just say this is what i want to do i'm going to work out how to get there well it's definitely perseverance i can tell you that okay and it wasn't easy so i am someone i think the word would be relentless okay if i have something on my mind and i know that i can do it i will it might take me years and years but i will do it okay to prove to myself that i can so i wanted to be an actress right before i wanted to be a presenter and i had a good few years of where i was doing film roles I was doing documentaries, music videos, and I had a few kind of like life changing moments, like sliding doors.

14:11So this is going back now. Do you remember the credit crunch? Yeah. Right. So before 10 ,000 BC, there was a film that was going to be made as a prequel, and it was called Neo, the last Neanderthal. And I had basically auditioned for this film, and we were going to be sent to Malaysia, Brazil, like all these amazing places to film. And I didn't make the main character, but I got into the film. They were like writing me a part because there was, I think it was about six of us that they wanted in their like little group. And I was like, this is amazing. Oh my God, I'm a real actress now. Credit crunch happened, film never happened.

14:50And then from then on, I had two years of bad luck where everything I went for, and I'm not even like embellishing this, every single thing that I went for, I didn't get. I can't tell you what that was. I was still me. I was still going and trying to smash these auditions. And every time I walk out there around, I'll be like,

15:08Pandora Christie:did I do it or did I not? Did I do that? And then I'll try and do loads of training. Never got it. Oh, we love it. But no, sorry, not this time. And it happened for two years. And it's a long time as well. Yeah, it's a long time to keep pushing and be relentless. This is what I'm saying. You've got to be relentless. And I remember I sat down in a coffee shop on my own. And I do, so I still do this now. So if I have a decision to make or I'm unsure about something or I'm confused, I have to write things down. So I know that we're in an age now where we don't use paper, but I still use pen and paper and post-it notes.

15:39And I write down, what do I want to do? What makes me happy? And why have I not got something? Is it because of, is it my mental health? Do you know what I mean? I really have to see it and think about what it is. And analyze what is going on here. And then what I got from these notes was I was really good at being me. I probably was never that much good actress at all. I'm not being mean to myself. I'm being true. I enjoyed it, but I think I got the parts where I was literally just me, just a different version of me. And I thought, what am I doing? I need to be a presenter because then that's what you're getting.

16:18You're getting the real version of me. So that's where radio came in. And because I was doing TV auditions and film auditions, I wanted something different. And that's where radio happened. Music has been a part of my life. I mean, it's part of all of our lives, isn't it? We use it when we're happy. We use it when we're sad. We use it to bring ourselves up. We use it to bring ourselves down sometimes. Or calm the mood or whatever, yeah. Do you know what I mean? So I had a look around. You're going to know something now. And it was a bit naughty. But I had a look around and I was looking at radio stations.

16:52that I could work with, right? And I thought, I need a way in. And I saw that Heart were looking for ground patrol members, which is basically, you can call them Heart Angels. It's like their promotion team, their indoor promotion team. And one of the requirements was you have to be able to drive. I lied. Okay. I was like, I am not letting that not get me this job. I thought, let me get in the door and we'll deal with it. There'll be a way that we could deal with this. So I did that. the form. Obviously, it's held a few fibs. I got the audition. It was one of those auditions. Fake it to make it.

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18:18So that word confidence is what I wanted to come to. Oh. Because I know you've done stage and Juliette. Yes. I went to that show. Stop it. With my whole family and we loved it. Oh my. Loved it. I had so much fun. Yeah, it looked fun. It was fun as an audience and it's just the most amazing show. Loved it. You're putting yourself out there in roles, in radio as well, where you've got to have confidence. Yes. And I'm so glad you, Because that was literally spinning in my head that I wanted to be like, Where did you get that from? Where's that self-belief come from? That comes from me having a turning point in my life where I thought, I'm not going to let my past determine my future.

18:56I refuse. So I had the confidence and the ability that I can do anything. I can do anything. We can do anything. And I think if you have that, once you've locked that into yourself, you'll be unstoppable. And I think that that's one of the most amazing things. It's such powerful messages. And what I love is within minutes of saying you're two years, and you can either give up or you can just keep digging deep. Are you ADHD? Yeah. Rejection. Yeah. It's a big thing, right? So that goes back to the people-pleasing, trying to fit in. Yeah. Use the word chameleon. And then being... So how have you dealt with that?

19:31And when were you diagnosed? Well, I haven't officially... I've just done all the online things. I haven't officially done it. But you associate... Yes. You look at the characteristics and the things that you're like, that's me. How were you diagnosed? So have you done it the proper way? So I was where you were at until seven weeks ago. And now I have actually had a diagnosis. So I was like talking to fellow entrepreneurs, talking to all sorts of different people that had it. Or I was so drawn to, like we are, the natural energy, the whole kind of you can make things happen, relentless. Go, go, go.

20:02And I was like, so it's pretty clear to me. You've got ADHD, but I'm not someone that can diagnose it. But then you wouldn't get a shock if you were diagnosed tomorrow. So I do a TV program called ADHD Beyond the Label. And I film with a doctor who has got a huge practice that diagnoses ADHD. So I had a route straight in to turn it. But I actually only two and a half months ago had the whole conversation. I was like, I really think I should actually get diagnosed because I'm now identifying with, I'm having conversations in the same way I've just done that. You can see it. Yeah. Back to that whole rejection thing to then cope with that.

20:37did you have, you know, you've been through so much, did you have any times where you doubted yourself, where you kind of ultimately had to drag yourself through it? And the reason why I ask that is there are a lot of people watching and listening to this that will be super inspired by you, me included. And what gets you through that? And if I'm having that tough time right now and I'm like, I want to be like, I want to bottle up some of that confidence. What advice would you give them? I think you have to look at all of the things that you have accomplished up to that point. So when, for instance, I get rejection from, it could be a job opportunity, it could be even a friendship, it could be doing something online and you get the dreaded email, you haven't been selected, anything like that.

21:19You have to then take a moment to yourself and look at all of the things that you have done and why you have smashed it up until this point and think, oh, okay, that's just a no from you. Right, okay, let me assess why I think that that could have happened. So what I'll do is I'll try and analyse, okay, so you said no because of this, this, this and this. Try and get an answer as to how I can improve and then come back because I will try again. I've just got that in me. Or I'll go a different route and I'll come round from the other side and get you from that point. That's brilliant. It's not a wall, it's an obstacle and I'm going to work out how to get round it.

21:58That's how I see life. Life is an obstacle. We're not meant to live up here. Everything's great. We're all happy all the time. I mean, everyone thinks that I'm like literally like walking down the road, like swinging like this every single day. Of course I have sad days.

22:12Pandora Christie:I had to put my dog down like over Christmas. Like, you know, you mentioned like Tim being here. I have been in bits. I'm still not okay, but it's okay not to be okay. And I only became aware of that. I think like, probably on my hand five years ago, where it's okay to let people see your vulnerability. It's okay to let people know, do you know what, today I'm sad. I'm really sad because of this, this, and this. I looked at an old lady the other day, and she had an old dog, and they were just walking down the road, and I burst into tears thinking, what's wrong with me? And that was the problem.

22:45Pandora Christie:What's wrong with me? That's what I felt like. I was like, well, no, it was a sweet moment. I saw it was just an old dog and an old lady just doing their little, their daily routine. and I felt sad for them, but also quite happy that they had each other. And I was like, but that's okay. Do you know what I mean? So I was almost having an inner turmoil, like, why am I getting upset? Then why am I getting angry at myself? Actually, no, it's okay to be happy or sad about that because it was a beautiful moment between them two. They were just waiting for each other to cross the road, you know? Yeah, I love the fact that you're...

23:14But I do get emotional. But you got emotional because you got present in the moment. And that's something, I love this. You've used that word analysis and analysed twice now. That's a really key part to you, isn't it? So you'll look at something and you'll reel back and you'll give yourself that time. And the same way you notice the old lady and the dog, you'll analyse yourself. This hasn't worked. Why has this not worked? And that's also working for you with the things that are working. And right now you're flying. Tim was telling me crazy numbers and stats. Stop it! I love heart. It's my happy place.

23:45And they clearly love you, right? And the listeners love you. So using that analysis side of things, where's your North Star? is that is this a journey because you've come so far you know but is there still that whole like you know relentless ambition to like this is where I want to get to and what does that look like well I want to do documentaries that's what I want to do um what you might not know is that I've also got a mentorship certificate as well I mean it's very basic level but I need to do more and develop that because I want to work with the homeless I don't think I've done enough to help um I was homeless for many many years and I still think that this country needs to do more there are women children husbands sons daughters there's so many people that are made homeless that you would not even believe it's not just oh they want to be so they're just there it could be you and me that's the scary thing about homelessness the way that you know everything's going at the moment to do with money, people's jobs, people's relationships that break down, they go into a depression and then they become homeless.

24:51So there's a whole AI storm coming, isn't there? Where not in terms of putting any fear out there, but it's heavily talked about that AI will place a lot of jobs and we'll have to see how that pans out. Everyone's worried about it. But people that are in a job right now that it would have been a secure job 20 years ago could not be a job in five years time. So I think what you're saying is super relevant.