ALEX JONES: Having Kids Later In Life, The One Show and Davina McCall Invigilating My University Exams

0:11I'm still an introvert. I'm still shy. One Show presenter, Alex Jones. Welcome to The One Show with Alex Jones. What were you like as a kid? I was incredibly shy, like painfully shy. You couldn't say out loud in South Wales, I want to be a television presenter. You'd get laughed after the welfare hole. I mean, don't be ridiculous, absolutely not. The more it went on into my teens, the more frustrated I was feeling. I was like, I've got to get out of here. Was there a moment where work and career and everything came first? You had kids later in life. I did. I was a dinosaur. You can't choose when you fall in love with a person that will become the father of your children.

0:53He came to me when I was 32. Relationships are never plain sailing. Never. They never are. Your husband has dealt with his own mental health issues. I thought I'd been depressed. But then I saw it and I thought, no, I haven't. I don't know whether I did the right thing. I hadn't understood it. And that's my own failing. But what advice would you give for people who are around someone who is struggling?

1:44And today's episode with Alex Jones is going to totally entertain you in so many different ways. Because for me, do we really know who Alex Jones is? We've seen her on our television for so long. On the one show, working with the BBC, so many different things. But actually getting behind that TV persona and finding out who Alex Jones really is. Today on the episode, we really do. Before we start, I always say this, and I know you don't like it, but I just have to remind you. If you haven't subscribed to our show already, if you can just click that button. It's completely free and it does us wonders.

2:15It keeps allowing me to get the best team of experts that help making the show on so we can keep building the show into what we want it to become. If you can do that one favor for me, that's all I'll ask. Okay, enjoy this episode of Great Company with Alex Jones.

2:33Hi, I'm Alex Jones and I'm in great company.

2:40Alex Fuzzy, thank you for coming on the show. It's such a pleasure, Jamie. Oh my God, are you kidding me? Honestly, I think you are an extraordinary interviewer. Really? Yes. It's such a gift that you've got. Well, why? Explain, what do you think makes a good interviewer? Well, I think somebody who's empathetic. Okay. Somebody who you are not afraid of just kind of listening. And so many people don't listen. Lots of people have a list of questions and they go, there you are, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. And they're not listening, but you listen. Well, you very kindly, you met Jemima, who is sitting across there, who is my wonderful producer, who she was the person who said to me, and you mentioned this, when I first started interviewing, I would feel like I had to fill silences with something.

3:29And she said, don't be afraid of the silence. No, it took me ages to learn that. But you have to sometimes because people are just thinking or they might come with something extra. And the extra bit is kind of the bit that you really want. So, OK, so where did you learn? Because you are an exceptional. I'm not. You are. Let's just get let's get this out of the way. You're an exceptional host. You're an unbelievable interviewer. You are, you know, you are a national treasure pretty much there, I reckon. You're there all past it already. Oh, Jamie. You are. I mean, it's so kind, but that is just ridiculous because I've just been making it up for the last kind of 20 years.

4:13Really? Yeah. But explain that to me because that's what everyone feels like. I remember when I turned 30 years old, I said this before, I was like, I'm going to turn 30, someone's going to open a door and they're going to go, come on inside, here are all the answers. And then I suddenly got to 30 and I was like, wait, everyone's guessing? Where are the answers? I think you just make loads of mistakes and then you gradually learn how to do it. And I think, see, I'm still kind of the conscientious girl I was in school in some ways, because when I started out in telly, I would watch things back and I would make little notes.

4:50And it's really uncomfortable watching yourself back, isn't it? Like people hate the sound of their own voice. You know, like even if you hear yourself on an answer phone, answer phone, who the hell has got answer phones? I know what you mean. On the radio or whatever. And nobody likes the sound of their own voice. And I think you have to push through that to get to the bits that make you look at it and go, oh, it's so awful when I do that. And then you change it. But you've got to confront things face on, I think. And the only way to get better is by listening back to podcasts you may have been a guest on or watching shows back.

5:30That's the only way. But I'm kind of self-taught in a way. I don't know. And I'm still learning. I still don't think I'm good at it. It's like exposure therapy. It's one of those things which I think is really important. So I used to be scared about walking across three drains. I am. I'm so scared about three drains. Yeah, because I don't know, something's going to happen to my family or the world's going to explode. I don't know what. So what I had to try and do is I had to expose myself to the situation. I had to start walking across three drains. You can do it? Not really. I had to say toast every single time I do it.

6:03Why toast? I don't know. Someone told me that once. So I used to be spitting, which was not good. So I'd walk across three drains and then have to spit. Someone told me that. But then I changed it to be toast. But so I had that thing. And then when I was doing Made in Chelsea and everything, and that was all a bit hectic, I got social anxiety for whatever reason. And so I didn't want to go and have one-on-one lunches because it was too intimate. And so I had to force myself into it to go and expose myself to the situation to realize it wasn't that scary. And once you start doing that, you're like, okay, it's all right.

6:37What times in your life have you had to expose yourself to something that you were like, I just don't want to do? Oh, Jamie, I knew you were going to get straight in there. This is the thing about this podcast, right? You have got this knack of kind of unlocking people. I was like, he's not going to unlock me. He's not going to unlock me. the thing is I think you know I'll answer that question in a sec but I think are you gonna answer truthfully do you think I am because there's no point doing these things without being truthful and I I'm one of those people I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve I've got nothing to hide you know um and but I don't think people really know me either which is weird isn't it because I've kind of managed to stay on this kind of surface level where people there you are that's that nice girl on that show and she's you know she's just loves to chat with people people don't really know me and I thought here we go Jamie now is going to get under my skin that's interesting though because that must be down to you as well not wanting to show a lot of your personal life and your personal self or maybe maybe I'm wrong I don't know I'm really open as a person ask me anything and I'll give you the honest answer I just think maybe it's kind of you know I'm synonymous with a show that's really packed full of content and the guests are kind of the main focus.

7:56And I'm just there to facilitate the chat. So maybe that's it. What would you like people to know about you? Gosh, that's a really good question. You're brilliant at this. Because this is like a therapy session already. We've only been sat down for literally four minutes. I know. Don't want we have lights and shade. Lights and shade. Do you know, I think, I mean it's what my friends know about me really um I hope I'm an empathetic person I hope um I'm a really good friend all of those things I mean I'm not very good at being kind to myself I think um if somebody says what's your best quality oh oh I don't know and it's not because I don't want to be big-headed and say it I I literally don't know um but I know I'm those things I hope I can say those things.

8:44And I know that that's true. I'm a good friend. I'm empathetic. I love a bit of a laugh and I love life. I'm a happy person. I mean, I think that comes across probably my day-to-day job, but that's, yeah, I'm not a big worrier. I don't have much anxiety, weirdly. I kind of get on with it and that's probably the way I've been brought up. For someone listening right now, right, who is finding it tricky to get into any industry, they're finding it hard, they feel like giving up, maybe it's the TV industry, and they're thinking, I just don't know how I'm going to do it. Maybe they're living in Wales, and they're thinking, I can never reach that.

9:23What advice would you give them? I think you have to be quite tenacious, but there is always a way. And I'm a big believer in that. And this is what I already have started telling the children. And to be honest, Jamie, it's going nowhere. I mean, they're four, six and eight. They don't care. But there's always a way through. And if one door is closed, there's always going to be a fire exit. That's slightly ajar. Always. Always. And, you know, I wrote so many letters to all these different people. And then it was really hard to find people's email address, but I'd look up the company. I'd spend days looking at companies, going through who work there, finding the person that I needed to connect with, typing out letters, sending pictures, sending a CV, which I'd bugger all on it.

10:15But, you know, and eventually things started unlocking. If it's what you want, you cannot stop. And you cannot give up. Cannot stop. You cannot give up. And I think these days, maybe because of social media, I think people tend to think it's easier. Because you can connect easier. And we've lost our resilience. But the thing is about that, the sea now is just saturated with people who can get to you quickly. you've got to stand out and resilience as you say is key who was the first letter you wrote to i think it was children's bbc um what did it say and it said look i have no experience but i'm really willing to learn um and of course you didn't do a tape then did you you know now you just get on your phone and you do a tape um and i'd done little bits and pieces and i'd been a contestant on this on this dating game show which was filmed in Magaluf Davina was the host for Julian Clary and I did a little taste of telly and I thought this is fun what's it this is beyond the mountain it was called prickly heat and they were like uh I can't remember something like 40 people between the ages of say 19 and 23 in Magaluf everybody was having sex with everybody And it was just really good fun.

11:41And we were out there and it was kind of like, it's a knockout on the beach. And then it was Wales, England, Northern Ireland and Scotland all against each other. And I just thought, this is excellent. I want to be Davina. And that was the start. Did you speak, does Davina remember this? Oh my God, completely. Really? Yeah. Have you said Davina, do you remember Prickly Heat? Because I was. I mean, we often go, isn't it weird? because I did my A-levels. Not my A-levels. I did my finals for my degree in Magaluf because I took part in this programme. And that's a long story. Like the university were like, absolutely not.

12:22You're not doing your finals in Magaluf. And I was like, please let me go and do this. So they flew my papers out. And Davina was the invigilator. You're lying. No, that's what happened. Sorry, hang on a second. Davina was the invigilator for your exam. Yeah. So you sat in front of me while you were doing these. She was like, 10 minutes left. Come on. Okay. Pens down. Yeah. And they filmed it all. So that was the beginning of the madness, you see. That is wild. I know. And so then I thought, right, well, I like this. Maybe I can do this. And I used to watch Davina on Street Mate back in the day.

13:02She was so brilliant. Still excellent. And I have to say about her, at the end of that series, She sent all the girls a little card. It's a Hello Sunshine, you know, Little Miss, like a Hello Sunshine one. And she wrote a lovely message, a personal message, which I still have. And I just thought, and we know she's an incredible sort of human, and she's an incredible presenter. But those things go a long way, don't they? Well, you remember them. We just did our Candy Kittens away day, which is the sweet company that I have. And what I wanted to do is I wanted to get everyone. I was finding a way for everyone to speak about something.

13:42Right. And I was like, how am I going to get everyone up to say something without them feeling nervous or scared or whatever? So I said, right, I would love everyone to stand up and say one core memory they have with Candy Kittens and one personal thing you've overcome this year. And it got quite emotional. It was quite amazing. and one person said um i have a core memory which is where i was having a tricky time leading up to christmas and i spoke to someone on the phone and i went oh that was me and she didn't say who it was so i spoke to someone on the phone and they said don't worry it's going to be okay you've got to take time yourself i don't want you to work over christmas and on christmas day that person then messaged me asking if i was okay it always makes me like emotional now like thinking about it and she said for me that was such a core memory and it made me realize that those little things in life, replying to writing a little note, saying thank you, saying a thank you letter, doing, people remember it.

14:36They never forget it. And you getting that little note or those little notes, you just would never forget it. But it's made me a better person in terms of, because I remember that. So now when young people come into the studio or when we film with them and they, you know, they ask me to sign something for, I always try and do the best I can because it's a real, it is a memory for people, isn't it? You know, I have that little card still. And it's in a box of, you know, just sort of different memories that I keep. And I always go back to that and say, you know, that little card, it meant the world.

15:17So when you were younger, living in Wales, what were you like as a kid? I was incredibly shy, like painfully shy. Really? To the point when my parents thought there's something wrong with her. So they, but they were very much, they had me when they were really young, which I'm so grateful for now. How old are we talking? So mum was 23, nearly 24 when she had me, which of course, you know, in this day and age, that is so young, isn't it? And dad was, I think, 25. And they really didn't know how to parent. I mean, they were kids themselves, really. And they kind of just looked at their parents and used the same tactics, which were, OK, kids should be seen and not heard.

16:02So we'd go to people's houses and they were like, be quiet. And I think they say this now, mum's like, I'm so sorry that I did that because actually you just shrank and you became smaller and smaller to the point where I was really struggling to speak at all, even in school. Really? So I was just, yeah, I was so shy, really painfully shy. I still am. If you think back to then, what were you shy? What were you worried about? What do you think was going to happen if you spoke out? Oh God, I just couldn't even find my voice at all. You know, even in assembly or in class and they'd say, you know, they'd ask a question and I'd know the answer, but there was no way I was going to put my hand up.

16:45I mean, the thought of speaking out loud was, oh, terrifying. Do you remember a moment where you did finally speak out? Yeah, I mean, I changed when I became sort of 16, 17. Found boys, that helped. Grooves and boobs, that helped. And I was so small. I was like the skinniest and the shortest in my class and the quietest. And then I suppose, you know, puberty happens and everything kind of changed. But really, Jamie, I'm still like, I'm still an introvert. I'm still shy. I'm kind of like, I don't know, I'm like a high functioning introvert. Introvert, extrovert. Yeah. Yeah. My wife is the same.

17:27I think I'm an extrovert. I actually get energy from people. And that's when I have to go and do an event or have to do something, even if I'm exhausted, it feeds me for whatever reason. If I'm around friends, it feeds me. But my wife is the opposite. She actually is introverted. but in an extroverted world. And that was quite difficult for me to understand. I couldn't understand why she didn't want to go and meet all these people or have people around the house the whole time or be the centre of attention. She said, no, I don't want any of that. I just want to do my work and be this and entertain and have fun and be a kind person.

18:00But I don't need that attention. I think I needed all of that because I thought that was going to fill my cup in a way. I think my husband's like that. He loves, he's like, well let's just get people over and i'm like oh my god here we go it's just a sunday though can't we just sit here on our own and he loves people he loves parties even now if we go anywhere together i'll be like you go first and he's like this is your job what are you talking about it is i'll hold his hand and he'll go all right then and then he'll walk in start chatting and then then I'll be okay. But actually you're the most warm, open person.

18:39And so you, I would say if I, I would say you were like a lantern. Like you were like, people like to come to you and they feel comfortable around you and you draw them in, but actually you're the opposite inside. You're saying, I don't, I don't want that. But actually. Well, I love people. I love friends. I love people who I feel comfortable with. But if you, if you say, oh, do you want to go to this party or this premiere or this? No, thank you. I mean, it's just hell, I think. I'd rather be in the kitchen having a glass of wine with my friends. Really good friends. So when you're 15, 16, 17, who was the first person you kissed?

19:17His name was Gary. Okay. Which, Jamie, I mean, even when I say that out loud, you know, Gary wasn't a name that little boys had, was it? No. Who looks at a baby and goes, Gary? I know, I know. But maybe there are a few Garys out there, Gary Neville. So Gary was maybe a popular name back then. It was, but then it was still too old for Gary, even then. And I remember he was a lovely boy. He was in primary school with me as well. And he bought me a perfume for Christmas. You know, one of these sets where you had the shower gel and the perfume. And I just thought, this is it. I love boys. They buy you stuff, make you feel nice and pretty.

20:09But it was really funny because I think, you know, when you think, oh, what sort of child was I? Because I knew this question was going to come up. And I was kind of this painfully shy child. But yet I remember using dad's calculator and pretended it was a phone by my bed. And when I went to bed, I'd pretend I was in a hotel and I'd order room service with this phone that was a calculator. So I think I had ideas of like, I knew there must be more to life. You know, I had these ideas. I mean, I loved watching films. And I just think I was kind of stuck in this kind of little West Whalian town. But I always thought, hmm, there's more out there than this.

20:52So quietly kind of, I guess, ambitious. And then when you were thinking that, when you're in, did you, because I spoke to Luke Evans. Oh, we love Luke. Luke Evans is amazing. And he also grew up in sort of a little town. And he realized there was something more out there, but not really understanding how to get to it. And you felt the same way. You knew there was something bigger, there was better out there. Because what did you want to do? Well, I wanted, I mean... Because you were a ballet dancer. Well, I did ballet. I wasn't brilliant at it. It was all right. But I loved performing, which then doesn't go with your personality.

21:31And that's really hard. So I wanted to be an actress. I was like desperate to be an actress. I thought that's going to be my ticket out of here. Every day I'd open the curtains and I could see the Black Mountains, right? And the Black Mountains to some people are beautiful, but to me, they're dark and foreboding and like overbearing. And it was like it was a wall and I couldn't see past the Black Mountains to what was beyond it. And I always used to think there's something over there and I want to get there. and I used to the more it went on into my teens the more frustrated I was feeling I was like I've got to get out of here the the fact that your parents were so young you know having kids now that is so young to like early 20s to bring up kids I look back to myself when I was 21 22 23 24 I didn't even know myself no idea what I was doing I mean I was in like in a minibus having being in Ritzy's and, you know, this was three in the morning, having been for chips with curry sauce and, you know, in a minibus with like 12 other people from the small town where we were that were sharing the cost of, you know, going out to Swansea, which was like the mecca of all things fun at that point.

22:52And mum and dad, and I look back now as a parent and I think I'm so in awe of what you did for us, how you navigated us as small children, and them as well, navigating their relationship with two young girls. That's so hard. I mean, we struggle now sometimes, and we're both in our 40s, you know, with a lot of sort of hindsight and experience, and they were doing it as really young people. But obviously, the payoff is that I'll be in a care home by the time my children are in uni but you know they are young grandparents you know and can be really kind of active with our kids but I think they were amazing are you close to them really close yeah like now I speak to them every day um after the show it's kind of our routine you know I'll yeah and mum she's sort of a no-nonsense woman okay and uh I mean they don't care who the guest is.

23:54They don't care. They're like, yeah, it's a nice show. He didn't have enough blusher on though. He looked quite tired tonight. I mean, that's mum all over. It's like my mum. You know? Your hair looks bad. Yeah. And then dad, Alan, never gets to actually speak on the phone. He's just in the background. What did you think, Alan? Yeah. Yeah. Mary. No, you're right. She looked a bit washed out, didn't she? Yeah. A bit washed out. Right. But they very, you know, they've, they're very good at, it's not that they do it on purpose, I say, but you know, my feet would never leave the ground anyway. I'm not that kind of person, but they definitely wouldn't with them.

24:32Was there a period, because when you move from Wales and you start into this world and into this career and into this sort of limelight and doing different things, was there a moment where, which I had, I think, with my family, is that work and career and everything came first. and so what happens is I kind of didn't forget but I thought I'm just going to not speak to my family as much because I they weren't as important and so I was just focusing on these and I remember my mum saying to me I never see you I never speak to you I don't know who you are anymore and I remember thinking and there was one point even when she she got my face and said who are you she couldn't remember who I was because I was so distant that makes me really sad as a mum now I was so distant did you ever go through a period of that yeah I think you know the 20s I think they like your lost years, aren't they?

25:17And I, going back to the thing that I was so desperate to get out, I was, I didn't really like school, if I'm honest. School to me was just rain, wet, going on buses to places I didn't want to go, being forced to do orchestra, which I hated. And I couldn't even, I mean, I played the violin, but I didn't, I couldn't follow the music. I just wasn't good enough. So I spent an hour every week in some god-awful comprehensive school that wasn't mine in Carmarthen on a Monday in wet weather miming violin because I didn't know what was going on. I mean, what a waste of time. And all of this kind of added to the whole pot of, you know, I'm sure there must be something more fun than this.

26:07so as soon as I got out of school and I had good friends and a lot of school I did like the social aspects but actually school's a bit like jail isn't it yeah it is I mean you know especially if you're not into it you've got to get up really early you've got to wear an outfit you don't like um you know there's a lot of doing stuff that you don't want to be doing I get it it's the system and you know that's what we all do um but afterwards I was just like this is amazing but I was so desperate to get going with life and be the adult I'd wanted to be since I was talking into the calculator and pretending it was, you know, the phone to room service that I just, yeah, I think me and mum and dad maybe did lose a bit of connection at that point because I was just like, see you later, I'm off.

26:53And I did all these ridiculous jobs. Like what? Oh, you can imagine. I signed up to an agency to do promo work. Classic, Jamie. so uh on a weekend i would be dressed in 70s gear and my job was to hand out uh hairspray okay and uh in a shopping center you know and after a couple of hours i'd take the hairspray and ditch them in a skip around the corner you know this was you know i mean i think a lot of people did that sort of job um but you were hustling but you were hustling you you you wanted to earn money you wanted to get out there you wanted to you wanted to become an adult and I wanted to be independent.

27:35You know, I think we're all very influenced by what we watch on TV. And I guess this was the 90s and it was all kind of friends, sex in the city. And I was like, I want one of those flats, one of those apartments. So I just need to work, you know. And then you get frustrated because that apartment's not happening. You're thinking, what am I doing wrong here? I wrote letters to everybody you can think of in television. Get out of here. Oh, yeah. Everybody. And I've still got all those replies. And some people did reply. Wait, hang on a second. So you wanted to get into TV because you thought this is going to be fun.

28:13This is going to be exciting. This glamour. And this is so glamorous. This is past the mountains. This is exciting. This is fun. So I need to find a way of getting into this. So I'm going to reach out by, I have to do it myself. Because that's amazing that you knew you had to try and do it yourself. There was no one going to do it for you. Well, look, mum and dad, I mean, mum worked in a bank. Dad was kind of a sales exec. They didn't know the first thing about telly. And you couldn't say out loud in South Wales, I want to be a television presenter. Well, because people would just be like... after the welfare hall.

28:46I mean, don't be ridiculous. Absolutely not. Just because, not that they weren't supportive, but it was just, it was too far from, you know, anything anybody could imagine. What does that do to a young person when you, when you're not, when something feels so unattainable? Yeah. Does that then make you go, well, does that lose that confidence that you should be, should have as a kid? Because as a kid, you want to sort of say, you can do anything, you can achieve anything. But it feels like because it was so unattainable, family, friends, everyone, you're never going to do that. You're going to work here.

29:21You're going to go and work in the school. I feel like that happened to a lot of the generation. I think I was really lucky that mum and dad were those people who said, do something you love. Great. So mum had lost her mum when she was 16. And mum's an amazing person who could have done anything. But actually, she had to run the house. Her sister had already gone to medical school. Her little brother was eight years old and her dad was running his own business and she had to become essentially the housewife. So she didn't get to do what she wanted. So she went to work in a bank. She was offered a job as a buyer for House of Fraser and she was only like 18 and she would have been amazing.

30:06She's got impeccable taste. She would have been amazing, but she said, I couldn't do because it meant being away from home. So I got a job as a cashier in a bank and then she worked her way up to become manager. And so she said, Al, I didn't have a choice. You've got to choice. Dad and I are here. Do something you love. And I think that was probably the biggest gift that I had was parents who just went, yeah, go for it.

30:40You know, one of the big things you've spoken of, which I find, and I'm going to tread carefully here, right? You had kids later in life. I did. I was a dinosaur. Like a T-Rex giving birth. You're not a dinosaur in any way whatsoever. But you did have kids in later life. And what I find interesting about that, right, is this, is that as a woman, it feels like if you decide to not have kids, people look, you get a strange reaction. Well, you don't have kids. Well, why wouldn't you want to have kids? And so then when you decide to have kids, even though it's later in life, people also go, well, you're having kids later in life.

31:18Well, that's a bit. So it's a weird balance. You can't win. You can't win. No, you can't win. The thing is, it just didn't crop up before it cropped up. Explain that to me. So, you know, you don't. OK, you go through life and you might have a plan. You might have sort of a vague idea of. I mean, I remember thinking, oh yeah, by 26, I'll have, probably have my first child. And then you get to 26, you don't know who you are. You're dating the wrong people. Who are we dating?

31:54Some people that you may know. But, you know, I mean, in Wales, there was kind of like three really handsome boys. So I dated them all.

32:06somebody else with a jones surname okay um but and actually a lovely boy you know yeah i get it like not marriage material right and so um and you know i've got a certain look you know i like an eyebrow i do i like you like dark hair exactly right tall good looking but we were the wrong people right and we're having a lot of fun but it's not time to have a baby but did you know that at the time. Because when you're in a relationship, sometimes when you're in a relationship and you're in love, and it's hectic and chaotic, sometimes you just think, well, maybe this is what every relationship is.

32:42Well, I was head over heels. It wasn't reciprocated. I think that's the nice way of putting it. But I was also having a lot of fun building this career, you know. And your mum had told you you need to build a career and do it. And you realised your mum hadn't done that. Yes. So I felt, so to be independent, I wanted to be financially independent. I thought, I've got a lot of work to do here before I can think about having a family. It kind of just wasn't on my radar at that point. Then you hit 30 and you think, surely at 30, I'll have a child. But then looking back, I mean, I was still a child at 30, you know?

33:21We went to New York as a group of girls. I just, you know, it was like sex in the city dream, you know and I still wasn't ready but I was kind of thinking I need to crack on with this but that's what I find interesting is that you're not ready but for for biological reasons and other reasons yeah if you want women get to a place where they think well I feel like I need to now because this is which I feel like is a lot of unneeded pressure it's sort of societal pressure at that age yeah Yeah. But I think also I'd looked at mum and dad and I still admire their relationship. You know, they recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.

34:02They are still in love. Mary and Alan. Let's go. They are like, you know, they are the rock that holds us all together. And I wanted that and I couldn't find that. And I was like, well, where's my Alan? You know, and also you're kind of still busy doing, building a career. And then I got the job that I still do today on the one show. I was like, oh my God, I'm in London now. This is amazing. You know, I wasn't ready to have a husband and children. And the thing is, you can't choose because you can't choose when you fall in love with a person that will become the father of your children. That person isn't necessarily there for you at 27, at 31.

34:55You know, he came to me when I was 32. And then, he won't mind me saying, he's very indecisive. So it took him a while to commit, Jamie. This is the thing. I had no hesitation. We had our first date. Yeah, where? Set the scene. Well, so it's called The Swan. It's a pub in London. And it's where we ended up living for 12 years. Not in the pub, but on the same road. Okay. So we had our first date there. and I knew by drink number three, I was like, here he is. Get out of here. I knew. No, but Alex, explain why. What did you feel? Because when I saw him, and you know what, we'd met in a fancy dress party.

35:44Okay. Right. You were dressed as? A cowboy. And a friend of mine was dating one of his housemates. Okay. And she said, come to this house party with me. So off I went and there he was, holding court as he does in the middle of the kitchen in this ridiculous poncho and hat and i thought what a dick who is this right super confident everything i'm not in a party situation um and we had a chat and i thought yeah all right he's handsome but um and there were actually a lot of handsome men in that house party it was ideal as a single girl um and i came away with a few options um however a couple of weeks later i saw him again in my friend's birthday party and uh he said um i'm sorry we didn't really you know i didn't introduce myself properly i'm charles he's very formal um not really but he sounded formal he said i'm charles i've never called him charles i know it sounds like it'd be a good idea to say hi and he said would you like to go for dinner and I said all right then um and so we didn't go for dinner in fact we never ate on our sort of early dates I don't think we ate for the first 20 days because you're just going to have drinks together because we just had so much fun but on this first date I saw him from a distance and I thought god he's so handsome and he he knew me immediately I sat down and up until that point, I'd never been a hundred percent myself.

37:24You know, I'd always kind of said what I thought I should say in order for them to like me. There was always a bit of myself, but not entirely myself. And he, he just went, that's not the right answer. That's not what you mean. What do you really mean? And I said, ah, and he just, he just knew he, he has got a big bullshit filter. Wow. Yeah. And he just knew and he didn't care about what I did. He had his own thing going on. You know, he loved traveling. He was this confident person and I was excited to be with him and I still am, you know, and I just knew he's the one. And now he says, shit, why didn't we get married sooner?

38:13Because the conclusion would have been the same. Because he was indecisive, that's why he was indecisive and of course actually you know he's from Auckland and even though his parents were English so technically he's English and he'd been here for a long time but he was due to go back because he was like okay I need to start settling down and I'm going back and then we met and I think it it was kind of a bit of a spanner in the works for him um but eventually he relented and in morocco he proposed and yeah i mean you know what it's like relationships are never plain say never they're never you know and and it wouldn't be fun if they were you know you need a bit of push and pull sometimes i think in a relationship but he's you know he's he's my life partner but he didn't come to me until i was 32 and then the indecisiveness us and then we ended up having our first child when I was 38 and but I wouldn't change it no it's just how life happened you know and by then I felt secure in my job I mean obviously I still absolutely had a meltdown when I went off for maternity thinking did you really of course I thought someone was going to take it I love my job and I really respect it and I appreciate it and I'm grateful for it.

39:33And I thought, oh my God, they're going to get somebody in and I'll be it. I'll never be seen again. It was a hard thing to step away. Wow. And I was only off. You worried you were going to be forgotten? Yes. And replaced, you know. I mean, I still feel replaceable all the time, even though, bless them, they go to great lengths all the time to say, but you're not. You're not replaceable. I always feel like I have to be on top of it and, you know, bring a game all the time. That's a good thing though at the same time. I think it is. Because if you become, if you start treading water in any job that you do, then that's when you kind of start to become lazy.

40:16You need to leave. And the fact that you're constantly doing that and that almost fear of being replaced keeps you driving forward and becoming a better version of you as a presenter the whole time. And I think that's the thing people ask, why are you still there? And I'm like, well, I'm not bored. I still feel like I need to prove myself. And you only need to leave when you feel like you're done. 15 years. I know. Congratulations. Thank you. That is amazing. It is amazing. And, you know, I've grown up in front of our audience. I mean, literally from being in a bloody cowboy costume at 32, you know, looking for a husband in house parties in kind of West London, to becoming a wife, to becoming a mum.

40:59They've seen it all. The one thing I do want to talk about is we have a lot of people on the show who speak about their mental health and it's about anxiety and depression and what they've been through. And a lot of the time, we often don't have people who talk about supporting people with mental health. And you very bravely and openly, and I know it's his story and his thing, so I don't know how much you want to share, but your husband dealt with his own, has dealt with his own mental health issues. How have you found that experience as someone who's trying to support someone in that position?

41:33I think, you know, when I was growing up and we've talked about mum and dad, amazing people, but there wasn't a lot of understanding about mental health. And when you look back at your own life, there are periods where you can see that you would have been going through something, You know, the attitude in our house very much has been get on with it. You know, that's kind of, that's very, get on with it. Don't talk about it. Move on. Yeah. Move on. It's just a bad day. Move on. But there've been periods now where I can look back, kind of mid-twenties, early thirties, and sometimes triggered by a breakup, sometimes triggered by disappointment at work.

42:20where there's been quite a dark period. You felt depressed? And I don't know. I don't want to say depressed because I've seen it in other people and I feel like my disposition is quite happy. And I'm quite good at dealing with things internally and moving on and moving through it. And I think some people aren't lucky and they can't do that, you know? I know. And I think sometimes the truth of it is it, you have to sometimes witness it close up to really understand what depression is. Because when it gets a grip on them. You know, I think a lot of people say, oh, I feel a bit depressed. And it's difficult because a lot of people really do.

43:15but I didn't understand it and I can only speak from my perspective I didn't really I thought I'd been depressed but then I saw it and I thought no I haven't that is really profound Alex because I think a lot of us feel like we are depressed or anxious but we can keep doing lots of different things and at work I feel a bit depressed it's that when you truly see it when you see someone who is really suffering, you go, wow, no, that is, that is it. And, you know, I mean, I've seen it in friends. I've seen it in work colleagues. And so my relationship with how I perceive depression has changed a lot because, you know, I love listening to lots of different podcasts and of course it's brought up a lot, isn't it?

44:03And anxiety and all the rest of it. And I think we have to be really careful about making light of it. Because sometimes I think when people are able to be on a podcast and talk about it, if they're talking about it in hindsight, that's okay. But in the present moment, I find that hard because actually, if you've seen it in action, you know that there's no way that somebody can get themselves together to get in a cab, to get to a recording studio and be comfortable to talk about it on a podcast. I don't know. So I've got a very odd relationship with it. I've seen it and now I feel like I understand it.

44:44When you're seeing it and you're experiencing it, by the way, I'm in total agreement with you. When someone is in that darkness, they can't get themselves out of it and they can't do anything. No. But what advice would you give for people who are around someone who is struggling? Gosh, I mean, that's hard because I don't know whether I did the right thing. But I think all you can do is, see, people say don't judge, but we all judge. We're always judging. We are judging constantly, but you have to let go of judgment at that point. Completely. And I found it really hard. I had to bite my tongue so hard from saying, come on, but.

45:28Just come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on, let's go for a walk. Come on. Oh my God, I was doing it so wrong. I know, I know, I know. It's so hard. I have a family member who was experiencing it. I just said, come on, let's go. And I said to a friend, come on, we can go. Let's go for a drink. Come on, let's go for a drink. Have a chat. Don't be so ridiculous. This person could not get out of bed. let alone put some clothes on and go for a drink you know i hadn't understood it and that's my own failing yeah and it's not your failing i know it's not understand it's very hard to understand what someone else is going through i what happens is also as i think when it's in that situation when someone is so close to you it almost feeds into you as well and so then what happens is their emotions become your emotions you start to mirror them and that's not helpful as well no and then it becomes hard and you didn't run away and a lot of people but Alex a lot of people a lot of people in experiences like that would run away and that means so much the fact that you stood there that you helped that you were there as the solid the whole time that speaks a thousand words but I think the thing is though you know you know also we all know that But, I mean, for me anyway, I mean, I'd never run because we've made a deal and we don't run from each other.

46:59You know, we face it all head on. Love that. And we have faced a lot of fun stuff and we'll face really hard stuff. And, you know, this will be life. That is life, you know, it's up and down. But I don't run. We're not a family of runners. We stick and we dig in and we do it. But I think the other thing is, if you know that person, you know that it's an illness. Yes. It's not them. Yes. You know, and I've been blessed to have kind of a pretty sunny disposition, really. You know, yeah, okay, there are bad days, but I really love life. Like, I love life. I love the mundane shit about life. Like, happy.

47:48and not everybody's like that but you know it's also it can be a phase you know everything is a phase life is a bloody phase you know this too shall pass and it does but you've just got to dig in for that for that time and that is exactly one foot in front of the other just keep going yeah keep going don't give up keep going i still don't know if i saw it again in a family member a friend I still don't know whether I do the right thing but I now understand it better than I did you know I was kind of in mum and dad's mentality of right come on should we can we move this on and it's not that but it's so honest and beautiful that you that you sort of recognize that in a way and actually you're just I think I think sometimes also that is quite good advice you okay we're going to get through this you've got to help yourself we've got to go we've got to go we've got it and it is a disease and it is illness but that support and constant returning factor we've got to get through this push people they pushes people to a sort of more positive place sometimes yeah and i think you know with our experience i mean you know i mean charlie's great now and it was kind of a it was quite fleeting really you know again blown up by the press you know of course but it was definitely a taste of of something that I hadn't seen before and changed my perception and it just made me think of all the people that are paralyzed by it you know all the time and can't get out of it and I think sometimes we all make light of it a little bit and talk about it and think oh we're talking about it so there we are it's fine we're talking about I've had a good chat about anxiety.

49:37And I'm like, oh, really? It's, you know, they paralysed by it. And you've experienced that. It's a horrible, horrible illness.

49:52Do you feel in your career, in your time, 15 years in the one show and doing all the stuff you're doing, do you still feel like it's just beginning? I'm just starting. Oh, my God. A hundred percent. Isn't that amazing? I'm so excited by life. Like I prefer being in my 40s than any other decade so far. Panic for the best decade. Well, so far, so good. Okay, good. Because I understand who I am. I didn't know who I was. I was trying to please other people all the time. And now I know what my job is. First of all, mum of three. That like fills a lot of my time and I like being busy. So that suits my personality.

50:28I know what my job is on the show and I still love it and still really respect it and try hard at it. And I want to be a good wife and I want to be a good friend and I want to be a good daughter. And really, then you're kind of at capacity. You're busy then. And I love being busy, but it's busy with all the good stuff. You know, I mean, there'll be times in the show like when Michael Bublé said to me, right, come on, Alex, come and sing this one with me. And I love Michael Bublé. but Jamie I didn't love Michael Bublé enough because in the moment I was like shit I don't know the verse I only know the chorus so I was doing like was it at home was like yeah yeah I was doing like club singing next to him and this was live on television I was like this is awful um but you know and there'd be moments like that but that's all the fun that's like the tapestry of life you know sometimes I'll be like with the kids in the morning, they'll be really, I mean, you're about to experience all this.

51:29It's amazing, right? It's amazing. But it's hard as hell, right? And you're like, this is like an endurance test. What is going on? Like, I've told this story before, but there was, I took my middle son to Ikea and he threw a walk down the escalator, right? And I don't know whether you've ever heard a walk go down an escalator, but fuck, it's loud. Right. And, and I was there and all these people like, her kids are out of control. And they judge you. They judge. Look at that terrible parent. And then the next minute you're in the one show and then you've got like, you know, a sofa of people that you're like, wow.

52:11I mean, you know, but I'm sort of not starstruck as well. And I think you can't be starstruck to do the job. I'm just interested. and people and I like a conversation yeah but then you know so you'll go from that in the morning to like a sofa full of people and then you know but then home to do mundane stuff you know empty the dishwasher get the school bags ready I like the variety you like that busyness and the busyness and then and being useful being a mum being the presenter you are being that is what life is is yeah can I can I ask you something about the one show yeah and you you you probably you can dance around it and move away but there's it has been a role revolving door of presenters it has and more recently there's been a bit of a um there was a sort of issue that came up with one of the presenters being supposedly inappropriate yeah as a presenter as a colleague as probably a friend how do you handle that so i think it's good to talk about these things as well because you know it was a situation where and i'll i'll tell you the honest truth from my perspective and this is with jimane genus it is and uh jj and i had become good friends he'd started presenting and i didn't know him at all i don't know anything i'm sorry to say about football and i actually asked him so have you ever played professionally i mean imagine poor boy germane genus okay and he was so polite and he went oh you know i've done a bit i was like oh so like you know like what and he went well i played for spurs and i was like oh no oh no england oh no um but he was very nice about it.

54:03But on this particular occasion, I was the last to know, I think. I mean, we didn't know. So the team had no idea. We'd been off on a summer break and this had all been done and dusted by the time we came back. And I thought he was taking extended holidays. I was like, where's JJ? And they were like, oh, you know, he's going to take an extra week. Nobody really new and actually the BBC dealt with it and I think if people feel uncomfortable they have to deal with it 100 % I agree you know if it was my daughter Jamie and I mean Annie's only just turned four but if it was my daughter and she was at work in whatever industry and she felt uncomfortable I would hope to God that I'd given her the tools to be able to speak up and if she was brave enough to speak up because it is a brave thing to do i would hope that that company corporation whoever would deal with it and that's what happened and i think that is the only way forward these days as you you put that amazingly well and it's true and it has to be like that because i think and especially especially in the world of television where we've seen it numerous times where people have a lot of weight in the industry because they bring in views or they bring in audiences and it hasn't really been dealt with and perhaps people have been inappropriate or said the wrong thing or behaved the wrong way and it's kind of been swept under the carpet because, well, they bring in the audience.

55:41They do this, they do that. And actually, people have to be held accountable. They have to be. I think it's right. You know, I mean, I've always had to behave. appropriately. I mean, not that I would never not behave appropriately, but you know what I mean? It comes with responsibility. Like, you know, if you are a public figure, which we all are, to all intents and purposes, if you're in a position to influence at all, if you've been given a platform, your responsibility is to be careful with that platform. 100%. And I think it's that clear cut. And this is a bit, you know, growing up in that television world and being in the time and you've always, everyone's always behaved respectfully towards you and everyone's been great towards you.

56:31And that's an amazing experience. I mean, I can't, you know, lots of journalists in the wake of this, you know, I've asked, have you ever had experiences that are uncomfortable? I mean, if you go back to kind of the 90s, early 2000s, there were stuff and there were ways that things were said that weren't great. But nothing has stuck with me. Nothing has kind of, nothing makes me shudder. Nothing, you know. And that's important. It's really important. And I know the type of girl I was then and I wouldn't have handled it, you know. I mean, I was green. I was really naive. And yeah, I think it would have had a really profound effect on me.

57:21So I was lucky not to have had that. And you were driven and you, and it's one of those things that if you were worried that your job would be on the line, you wouldn't have said anything. No, I wouldn't have. No. And do you know what, even being, I cannot even position myself in that, but just knowing my mentality and thinking maybe if I, if I was a woman in that position, I wouldn't have said it I know I definitely wouldn't have and so I've got a lot of respect for the girls that did because I think it is an incredibly brave thing to do really brave because it's very scary when you're in that position

58:02honestly I'm such a fan of yours I truly am watching the one show and growing up and doing 15 years is just incredible and I really appreciate giving your time to come on here. We like to end the podcast with quick fire, eight questions. You ready for this? Yeah. What's a saying or phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up? Oh God, right. So bear with, okay. But I was thinking about this and I think, so they're two Welsh ones, right? Yeah. So one is drosben chestry, which when translated, it literally means over the dishes and it means when somebody's gone too far. The other one is senen i daten, which is, I wouldn't shock a potato.

58:42Like, they make no sense, Jamie, but they make me really smile because they are so ridiculous. And it's home. It's home. Best compliment anyone's ever given you. Without a doubt, my six-year-old son said the other night, we were off to the National Television Awards, which to me is like hell on earth. And he said, Mama, you look so pretty. And it doesn't, nobody could say it for the rest of my life. but the fact that Kit said it, that will stick with me forever. That's amazing. He's a lovely little boy, even though he's got a tendency to throw walks. Even though he's throwing walks on escalator.

59:24What scares you most about yourself? Oh, I think it's this constant need to be moving and doing things. It's a good thing. I mean, I cannot watch a television programme. I'll have to be doing something else on the side. drives my husband mad yeah but it drives you for it's a good thing when was the last time you cried um I think it was a week ago when my four-year-old started school oh Jamie you'd be ready for it I fell apart I was good I managed to get her in through the door and the minute I turned my back it was like my world just caved in it was the last one going into school and we sat in the car oh my gosh it makes me cry now Charlie and I sat in the car and we just I mean he wasn't sobbing quite like me but he did definitely have a tear in his eye and he said you know well we've got time now we can go and have a walk and a coffee together which of course is lovely but it's my last baby I know I'm so jealous of you starting really yeah I mean I mean, I can't.

1:00:34Yeah, I love being a parent. It's absolutely the best. Because you have so much love to give and you can feel it coming from you. Oh, I mean, those three. Honestly, I'm already having anxiety about them being bigger. So I look at them in the night and I'll be looking at them and I'm like, I think Kit's grown. shit Charlie I think he's grown and he's like it's a good thing Al it means we're feeding them the right food you know they move in through life as they go I don't want them to move through life I want them to stay with me yeah what's something you can't let go of oh so much stuff I mean I'm not a hoarder my husband is a hoarder terrible do you know we've got his uncle's dog blanket in the loft that's disgusting Austin, donk blanket.

1:01:32His uncle's. His uncle's donk blanket. That's awful. So I'm not that level. But things I can't let go of are, I could never get rid of any photographs because they, you know, they just so, I think I don't have printed out photographs anymore, but the ones I have of kind of the 90s, I really want to keep hold of them. The other things I can't get rid of are the children's baby clothes. I mean, you'd have to, like, fight me to the death for them. No charity shop is having them. And you're not a hoarder. But I'm not a hoarder. Okay, okay, sure. Some things I can't. Okay. Yeah. What's your guilty pleasure?

1:02:12Oh, so many. Love is Blind, currently. So good. Love is Blind UK. So good. That is the programme that I don't have to do anything else that I can watch. It's so good. It's won me over. It's so good. What turns you off? Oh, rude people. Yeah. People with a chip on their shoulder. Don't want to be here, leave. What turns you on? Oh, I love people that want to have a good conversation and like go, forget the surfacy stuff, want to go deep. So good. What do you like most about yourself? Oh, see this goes back to the beginning. I know. I like that I'm easily pleased in terms of it doesn't have to be fancy holidays, fancy hotels.

1:03:03I am happy with the people I love doing something super boring. Like if I'm on a Sunday making an apple crumble and I'm not Mary Berry, right? I'm a shit cook. But if I'm making an apple crumble with the kids in the kitchen and they are fighting with a little wooden swords, for me, that is perfect. It would give other people a headache, but that's where I feel happiest. Bonus one. Teach me a Welsh swear word. And make it rude. I was going to say fuck off, but obviously that's English. Okay. Oh, this is good. So. The word for a jellyfish in Welsh is contemor. Say contemor. Contemor. Okay. That means cunt of the sea.

1:03:59Alex Jones, you're amazing. We love you to miss. Thank you so much. Alex, you're amazing. That was so good. I can give you a hug. I hope you enjoyed the episode today. Wow. Alex Jones is incredible. She, it's a real, the only way to describe this is that um you know we always talk about having uh radiators and drains in our life right the drains are the one that pull you down the radiators that really warm you up alex jones is a complete radiator she makes you feel good she has an energy about her and again what i always find from all of our guests the people who are successful are the ones who have grinded it and worked hard to get there alex came from a small town in wales and And has now been hosting the one show for 15 years.

1:04:41That's through graft and hard work and talent. And she's really thankful of her career. I think we forget when we become successful in whatever job we're doing, doesn't matter what it is, the success becomes the norm. And if we could speak to our younger self and say, imagine if you could speak to your younger self and say, this is what you're going to achieve in 10, 15, 20 years. It would blow your mind. So we've always got to resort back to our younger self and think, what would your younger self be thinking if you were in this situation right now? And we forget that because life is too quick.

1:05:15And Alex is one of those people who is always thankful for her success. Alex, thank you for coming on. Thank you for sharing. This episode reminded me when I sat down with Ryland, another icon in the TV world. And Ryland spoke about his career. He spoke about X Factor, which he just wasn't ashamed of. And Ryland is one of those people who is so excited to be doing what he does in life. It's a real breath of fresh air. So if you like this episode with Alex Jones, you'll love the episode of Ryland. You can go and click on the show description where the episode is and it'll take you to that episode.

1:05:48And to give you a little teaser, here is what you can expect from the episode with Ryland. Have you always been this kind of charismatic, kind of larger than life character? I mean, I've always been the same person, but there's definitely like two of me. Like, I think I'm pretty boring. Really? Yeah, I think I'm a bit of a bore. You're not a bit of a bore. I am. Our agent is over there nodding his head. I'm not this like party boy that everyone thinks I am. Yeah, but I don't think you're a party boy, but like, I would say this, like I definitely, there are so many sides to everybody, right? Like people always say there's one side with your family, there's one side with your friends, there's one side you're at work, and there's one side maybe in your relationship.

1:06:30Yeah. And you definitely sort of, you know, especially... You've got bent, four faces. Yeah, exactly. But also in this like life of like presenting in TV, you kind of have to have two sides. Yeah, like Rylan is a bit of a character. Really? Definitely, yeah. But it's a lot of Ross, but like Ross on crap. Yeah. But as a kid though, growing up... Oh, I was that like ginger kid that was like feisty little bastard. Yeah, I'd be the one at like family parties, like getting up on the chair and doing a little routine. Spice Girls while my aunts and while my brother's sitting there going oh fucking hell I wish you liked football okay we'll see you next week for another episode on Wednesday of Great Company