DANI DYER on Confidence Struggles, Dad's Addictions & Why I Never Visited My Son's Father In Prison

0:00Coming up in this episode of Great Company. Your dad went through a tricky time. He was in such a dark place of himself and he couldn't get out of that. You rely on drink and drugs. We always say if he didn't go rehab, he probably wouldn't be here now. You wrote a letter to your dad once. What was the letter you wrote him? Hi, I'm Danny Dyer and I'm in great company.

0:22You decided to go and do love on you? I was 21. My dad obviously was fuming about it and he did not speak to me until literally the day I was going to the villa. He went, see you in a couple of weeks. It was a protective thing? Yeah, he was worried about me. Would you let your kids do it? Oh. But then you come out and there was like a spotlight on your relationship. I genuinely thought, I've met the one. Jack was just on a completely different page to what I wanted. So he just wasn't compatible on the outside world. And then you have your son. Yes. Because some people go back to their exes and it is the most successful relationship.

0:54Every decision you make, good or bad, leads you to the path you're meant to go on. and having Santi changed me as a person. Your ex-partner went to prison, right? He did. And that was a really hard time. I felt like I'd done the crime. When he went to prison, everyone sort of blamed me. You know, the press were recusing me and I just really loved the wrong person. Did you ever visit him in prison? No, I always speak openly. Firming's on fire. And he's shagging, Danny's on fire. Do you know my little boy says kissing? He sings it in the back of my car sometimes, Santi. I'm like, that's your mother you're speaking about.

1:31My dad sings it. He thinks it's brilliant. Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie Lang, and this is Great Company.

1:43Hi, guys. Welcome back to Great Company. Very, very excited for this episode with Danny Dye. It is just amazing for so many reasons. Now, before we start the show, I just want to ask one favour, which is if you haven't subscribed to our channel yet, please do. It does us wonders, it's completely for free, and I will love you forever. That's the only thing I'll ever ask. Okay, here we go. Enjoy this episode of Great Company. I cannot wait with Dani Dyer. Hi, I'm Dani Dyer and I'm in great company.

2:16You're a wag though now. I hate that word, Dani. Okay, well. I don't understand why because it's just wives and girlfriends. I just think it's the way it's said, like she's a wag. Okay, well, Jared plays football for West Ham. Yeah. What are some of the chants that the fans... Oh, what? Whoever made that chant, they need to DM me and let me know who it is because I want to know. What is the chant? Put Bowen's on fire and he's shagging down his eye. Do you know my little boy says kissing, he sings it in the back of my car sometimes, Santy. Bowen's on fire and he's kissing Danny Dyer. I'm like, that's your mother you're speaking about.

2:52I can't even ground him. He's too small. That is a lie. And he's shagging Danny Dyer. Yeah, shagging. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. My dad sings it. He thinks it's brilliant. Thinks it's brilliant. He says he starts to chant off sometimes. I'm like, yeah, all right, mate.

3:10But do you live close to your dad? My mum and my dad, yeah. How close do you live to them? Seven minutes away. Seven minutes? Yeah. Driving or walking? Driving, yeah. walking is a bit dangerous where we are. Do you think you'll ever move away too far away from your parents? I don't know. If we had to, I would, but I do like having them around. Because obviously Gerard's family is so far away, like so far away from us. So they're my only little comfort blanket. So I like having them near me. I've always been very near. I was 20 minutes before and that felt far. Really? It's ridiculous. How close are you to your family?

3:46So close. I think because they had me so young. Like they were 18 when they had me, my mum and dad. That is crazy. Yeah, they were babies. Like babies. So I think that's why they've sort of brought me up. I mean, they were kind of like still teenagers in a sense. You know what I mean? Like, so they're like my friends. Really? Yeah, it's great. But explain that to me. So what does it mean? Because I find this weird. When I married Sophie, right? Yeah. When you marry someone, you forget that you're marrying the whole family as well. you think you're just marrying that same person and i got very lucky i married like into like her family which are amazing but she's very like she's my parents are my parents yeah i definitely seen them as parents yeah and i i probably wouldn't i can now but i i wouldn't like smoke around my parents i wouldn't swear on my parents and i would yeah i had this sort of relationship that where sophie they're like mates yeah but also parents but also like mates and i found that like it was like this really close i'm close with my family yeah there's a different sort of close is when you feel like your mates were there.

4:47Yeah, yeah. So you have that. Yeah, very. See, my mum was always a lot stricter than my dad. And it used to annoy me when I was a teenager because I was always first home. They always, always had to be the first one in and they'd always catch me. Because obviously at 14, 15, you want to go over the fields and drink a bottle of Glens. I said, oh, I weren't arming anyone. We used to have Glens and a bottle of Boost and just swigging it backwards and forwards. And then I used to watch a trailer of a film and then tell them the film that I've definitely not watched. and they'd always catch me and they would ground me.

5:18So my phone was taken off me every night until I was 16. Like I used to try and swap SIMs out and put SIM into another phone and they'd still catch me. So they were strict. But as I've got older, I've always told them everything, which did always shoot me in the foot a little bit growing up. But yeah, we are real close. What was it like growing up in the household, in the Dyer household? You know, it was great. I had a really good upbringing, like a really good upbringing. And obviously I always remember like, obviously my mum and dad weren't together for the first few years of my life. And then they would sort of, it's funny because I used to know on a Friday night whether my dad was staying or not.

5:53Because I'd be like, are you staying over tonight, dad? And now I kind of get it. It makes me feel really sick. But because he used to like. What were they doing, do you think? I don't want to go into that. But he used to always read me like on a Friday night. He'd come over and read like the Roald Dahl books. He was so great at the actors. You ever read the book, The Twits? Yeah, I loved it. I loved that. So he was always over on a Friday night. So yeah, the first few years, I was very off and on. But I had a great childhood. You can remember that as well? I can remember that. What age did you at that point?

6:25Maybe like four or five. Really? I can remember little segments of them. Like I always remember he bought me a dressing up box and I had all the fancy dress outfits in it. And my mum's like, she's not having that. And she left it outside. This is when we lived in Canning Town. She left it outside and then when he walked away, she went, you can have it, darling. She brought me in the fancy dress box. Honestly, they were so toxic at a young age. But they've been together since they were 14, my mum and dad. Yeah, it's crazy. So they have been through it all together. Do you know what I mean? But what does that do as a young kid when you see your parents fighting with each other and having arguments because they're young, right?

7:03Yeah. And they always say having a, and I'm going to talk about this with you, but they say having a child is like having a crisis in a relationship. Yeah. It throws up everything. I mean, from feeling lonely to feeling anxious and not knowing what to do to having sleepless nights, to having arguments. And when you're 18, 19 years old, you don't even know who you are. Of course you don't. So then throwing that crisis into a relationship is a nightmare. And I think my mum as well was, like my dad has always been an amazing dad. Like he is phenomenal and so is my mum. But obviously my dad, I don't think was ever ready to have a baby so young.

7:36Do you know what I mean? Whereas my mum, we'd go everywhere with her. Like I'd literally go everywhere with my mum. And it'd be like, even if you went to a pub, you know what I mean? You put the two chairs together, I'd have a nap on the chair. Do you know what I mean? Like it was, I was so close. Like we did everything together, do you know? And as we grew up, I think with my dad, he was always working a lot. You know, he was sort of trying to make it out and trying to obviously become an actor. And he's obviously smashed it now. But yeah, there was years of obviously when they weren't together.

8:02But I always remember them being together. Like, because they wasn't, but they was. Do you know what I mean? But they're a couple that could never not be together. but they explain that to me they just love each other so much like you walk into a room and they you just know they're in love and i love that these they do like you always catch them kissing cuddling and like when i was young i'd be like that's so gross but growing up now i'm like no i like that i love her in love they are there's a i always think i got told something by someone about relationships which is where um you if you can see yourself spending 10 000 hours with that person you want to go forget what they look like forget all these different things like can you spend 10 ,000 hours with that person yeah if you look at your parents it's I mean it's it's well over that yeah oh my god since 14 years old to being now yeah it's it's incredible the journey they've had but yeah you can just see in a room that they're meant to be but when you're growing up and your parents aren't together what does that make you does that make you feel a certain way because were you did you have to grow up quicker in a way I think so because I was an only child as well for a long time obviously my sister's 18 so I was like 11 when she was born So it was really me and my mum for a very, very long time.

9:12And obviously my mum took ages to get pregnant with my sister. It just took her a very long time. So then when my sister come along, it was a massive adjustment then for me because obviously there was a new baby in the house. But I think have I grown up quicker? I don't know. But I do think, you know, with my mum and dad, we've always been very close, no matter what. I've always been able to tell my mum everything, tell my dad everything. Sometimes I tell my mum things and my dad other things because my dad's more, a little bit softer than my mum. she's a little bit more stricter were you a popular kid I don't was I so when I started so I was in school I we we lived in Canningtown and I went to a school there it was like in East London so we moved from East London to Essex and I was 12 and that was a jump like I know it's only half hour up the road but it was a massive cultural shock why because in East London I can't expect no one really had anything so like no you know you'd turn up in your Primark pumps and your Primark bags.

10:10No one batted an eyelid. And you moved to Essex and it was very like, we had to wear Prada shoes. So we started school. Get out of here. Yeah, so you started the school and I mean, they banned it when my sister started that school, which I'm really happy about. So yeah, you go in and you have to wear Prada shoes and at the time it was Paul's Boutique bags and your skirt had to be rolled up a certain way and perfect foundation. It was a massive jump. That's pressure. It was pressure. And I remember crying to my mum going, you've got to get me out of this school, mum. She was like, just give it to the end of the summer, see how you get along.

10:40And if not, I will take you back to your old school. Because that was just do it bags and I could wear trousers. And it was so different. It came in town to, yeah. That is so funny that geographically, not even that far, it's a completely different change. Completely different. Because in East London, no, it wasn't really, it's not really about money or status or anything. But Essex is quite like that, I think personally. Yeah, but I think you're probably right. Yeah, the first six months was really hard. But then, you know, you lead your way up. That's almost hard as well for your parents because with your kids, right, you want them to stay as naive as possible.

11:19You want them to stay young. And you don't want them to be obsessed with materialistic things. No, but it is like, people probably hate me saying it, but I do think Essex is very materialistic. I think the world is materialistic. Yeah, it's become a lot more like that. Who was your first boyfriend at school? My first boyfriend. I was trying to think about my first boyfriend the other day. I don't know why. My first, I'm trying to think of my proper one. Well, who was your first kiss? Right. He was called Charlie. Okay. He was called Charlie. He was my first kiss. And we was on, he had like a little brick wall.

11:53And I remember we. He had a little brick wall that carried around with him. A little brick wall. He was outside his house. He had a brick wall. and I was drinking a Cadbury Sun. Yeah, there we go. And he took the Cadbury Sun out of my mouth and kissed me. Absolute stud. Stud. Yeah, he was my first proper. I would say, I mean, we were so young, like very, very young, but I really did adore him actually. Were you doing drama at school? I loved drama. Like I really did. There was a part of my life where I really wanted to do acting. Like I loved it. Like that's the only A star I got actually, GCSE.

12:30We never made it to A-levels, but that's okay. GCSE A-star, I will always hold that. Really? I worked hard for that A-star. I made sure as well to the teacher because she'd put out groups who was going to be doing, obviously, the GCSE drama. And I said to you, you better give me a good group. Because there's some kids in here that have took this for fun and it ain't fun, okay? This is hardcore. And I did get all the good ones and we smashed it. Why didn't you take acting further? I just don't think I had enough confidence. I lack so much confidence. I'm terrible for it. I just didn't have that.

13:04And I always thought, I'm not really good with rejection. So it was like you'd go for auditions and it'd be no, no, no, no. And I felt like I can't stop crying. This is just not good for me. This is not good for me at all. And my dad used to be like, you just have to keep going, keep going. For him, he even wanted to do acting or be an artist because he loves to draw. But he just kept pushing and pushing. Whereas me, I just didn't, I never thought I was going to be good enough at it. So in the end, I just was like, I'm just going to stop it. Wait, tell me that you feel like you lack confidence.

13:36Oh, massively. I've always been, I've always been the sort of person if like, if something's really good is happening, then I'm like, oh, something bad's going to happen. And I know it's, that's what I would now. But you know, like that whole thing of like, yeah, I just lacked confidence, especially in my teenage years. so I think when it was like being 16 I remember when I left to be fair I started college and I went to this little college and it was um like musical theater and I wanted to do musical theater and then um it didn't really it was no one really ended up doing musical theater to be honest we was out and doing god knows what do you know what I mean so and then I did get um it was random because my dad was filming a show and it was Vendetta, a movie.

14:20Yeah, I love that. And the girl was pregnant and she's meant to be dragged out of a car. And because she was pregnant, they was like, we can't use her. And my dad was like, oh, my daughter might do it. And then he wronged me. He was like, do you want to fill in this next week? I was like, absolutely. And I did it and I loved it. And then I did another film called We Still Kill the Old Way. And I loved that. Like they were like British gangsta, you know, that kind of movie thing. And I did love it. Like I enjoyed it so much. But then I think... I was always going to be compared to my dad and I can't bear that.

14:49Always, always going to be, I'll get it all, Nepo baby, all that sort of stuff. And I found it really hard. Like I did a little stint on EastEnders. Like I did during COVID, there was like an EastEnders and the woman was pregnant and my dad had to do like a scene with her. And during COVID, they wasn't allowed to be like close with anyone. So my dad was like, do you want to do it, babe? I was like, go on then. And again, I loved it, but I got so many hate comments. So I was like, I just can't put myself through it. And it was always, yeah, yeah, I'm a nightmare. But the first thing I want to say, that's not being a nightmare.

15:21That's like, it's understandable that it's hard because having, you know, Danny Dyer seen it like as your dad, who is sort of an icon in the British film industry. It is hard because anyone, whatever you do, you're going to be compared. And whatever you do, people are going to say it's because of your surname. and whatever you do. And if you lack the confidence then, which you're saying you do, it's quite hard to push through that. Yes. Because you don't want to deal with those comments. No. It's just like, I don't care. I'd rather just not do that to have to face up to that. Yeah, because I think you're either going to ignore them and move on from it or let them kind of win.

15:58And in a sense, I just never really... I can't... I'm terrible with it. I'm so bad. I know you're meant to have this whole thick skin thing, but I don't have it. I'm like... They were good on you for saying that. Yeah. Because so many people right now listening and watching will be agreeing with you so much. Yeah. When do you remember that confidence started to drop? What age was it? I would say probably them sort of teenager-y age. You know, like when you're in like secondary school and stuff. But why? What happened? I don't know. I really can't put my finger on why I'm like it. Like I remember at school when I was, what was it called?

16:30I think I was like year seven, year eight at the time. And this boy always used to pick on me for my nose. I did have a nose job actually, but I did. I loved it. Best thing I've ever done. Everyone has a nose job. so that's the best thing I've ever done. Best thing I've ever done. And don't worry, a lot of people have had nose jobs as well. I would go for a nose job, honestly. You don't need a nose job. Maybe I would. No, but I loved it. But in school, he always used to call me carrot nose. It was so horrible to me, like bullied me for my nose. I remember thinking I'm getting a nose job. I was like 12 and no.

17:00I don't know. I just think you're either confident or you're not. And I've just never really had that ever. But I think, yeah, when it got to, when I was about 16, 17, maybe 17, I did, obviously, see them films and then I did um Vendetta and then I did We Still Kill the Old Way and then kind of turned 18 I was still auditioning and nothing ever really was happening and then obviously a few years later that's when I went on Love Island so you know. But it's one of those things right which is where you're you're 18 years old and you've done a few films and it is that thing what your dad said where you have to keep doing it.

17:33You have to keep going because I imagine you know your dad as well would have been in the same position where he had some films then didn't have some films where you had to keep pushing for it and that it's that resilience that you have to keep doing to keep going and I have zero patience really zero because I remember then I was training I was a dental nurse so I did dental nursing in between because my mum was like you've got to get a job done you know come on got your national insurance number let's get you working and I loved being a dental nurse that was fun so I had something to keep me going but I think where I just lacked it and thought there's so many people out there that want to be an actor I just never really pushed through it never really, I just sort of left it a bit.

18:12How's your confidence now? I'm up and down, I think. Like, I mean, I'm so happy where I'm at. Do you know what I mean? Like, currently I'm in a really good place. But I think you know what this industry is like. You have your good and your bad. But I mean, as a person, I will all, I think that's just who I am. I don't think, I think I could have therapy every single day. I would just always lack it. That is my most, yeah. Would it take an anxious thing? Yeah, definitely. definitely i've always i think my anxiety i think now it's good because people speak about anxiety so much but when i was like real when i was again the teenagers 18 19 i went for a terrible breakup like that was my first proper boyfriend and i think that's when i understanded what anxiety was do you know what i mean like i was like oh my god this is bad and i went to the doctors and they give me like anxiety medication but that made me feel so much worse really yeah because when you take i didn't realize when you take something like an antidepressant or an anti-anxiety medit actually makes you feel worse before you feel better wow yeah so a lot of people that take it you think you're gonna wake up and feel like amazing and skipping but it takes a long time for you to a couple weeks yeah work and it's do you remember what they gave you sertraline so they gave me sertraline yeah and because my mum was like because i was so low i couldn't i couldn't believe how bad heartache felt i was like i'd rather break my arm because it's so painful you're like how am I gonna go on now will I ever love again it was so painful because the others I loved him so much but now looking back I'm like I definitely didn't and you went on these antidepressants to help you through them yeah how long did you stay on them for I think I was on them for like a good year a good year I was on them for yeah and I did feel better to be fair you just feel a bit lighter yeah because I know people in my family that have had to, they've gone through a little bit of troubles.

20:00And I've said to them, like, if you can have things to help you, like help yourself. And you know what I mean? It has completely changed and transformed their lives. And it really did help me. But then what I'd done was I was on them and then just stopped taking them and then make you feel really crap. Like you have to wean yourself off them. Like I just woke up one day and was like, yeah, I'm fine. I'm happy. And then I'd like a month of just feeling really sick and disgusted. And yeah, but I do think I'm really glad I did it because it did really get me out of that. just that not wanting to leave the house and feeling really rubbish, not wanting to go to work, you know, that whole tunnel of like, just sobbing, listening to Adele over and over, you know.

20:38You had this struggling with your confidence, but then you decided to go and do Love Hunt. Yeah, I know. Because that feels like a juxtaposition. That feels like something that like counters each other because you're going, you're exposing, you're putting yourself on screen, which is typically all about the way that you look because the first kind of scene is like, am I going to date that person? Am I going to date that person? And so normally someone with lacking confidence wouldn't go and do that. No, I know. But I wasn't, Love Island was never really meant to happen. So before Love Island, I basically, my dad did Celebrity Juice and we knew a producer there called Lizzie.

21:11Great, yeah. And she basically said that there was a show going on in the January called Survival of the Fittest. And I was like, it's a new show, new format, Like, Boys Against Girls, like, challenges, you know, that sort of stuff. Now I realise that it was a bit of a love show, but it was more like Boys Against Girls, Who's the Fittest, right? So I was like, do you want to do it, blah, blah, blah. Come and have a little meeting. And I was like, yeah, that sounds pretty fun. Like, why not? So obviously went for the meetings, went to South Africa, and then ended up doing the show. However, the show didn't go great because within 24 hours, I dislocated my shoulder.

21:50This is like a common theme. 24 hours I don't know why I don't know why this has happened to me these injuries this is hell so within 24 hours and it was really annoying because that week do you remember the book The Secret yeah I read the book The Secret and I was like looking at the mountains and finding myself it's all about manifesting all about if you speak it it can happen yeah right so yeah just got my shoulder for 24 hours and then I remember being in the hotel room but it's the same producers of Love Island and Lewis come and sat with me and I adore Lewis. And he was like, oh, it's fine.

22:23We've got Love Island in the summer. And I was like, I am not doing Love Island, Lewis. He was like, yeah. I'm going to sling by now. He's like, we're going to get you on Love Island. And I was like, not going to happen. And got to say April. Yeah. And he contacted me again, Lewis. And was like, come and meet me. Come and meet me for a little bit of lunch and stuff. Like, so I met him and he was like, well, come on. Why don't you want to come on Love Island? And I was like, because my date in history is a disaster. And I was on and off with someone at this point as well. very on and off for like a year just toxic and um this is this fire that we thought this is the fire we wanted and then um he was like but what have you got to lose like just have a go spoke to my mum my mum was like oh yeah go on love island what else you're gonna do this summer what else you're gonna do like my mum was all for it my nan went oh they've got their water bottles and now i'll get us the water so my mum and nan were very like go and do it um i just thought why not Why not?

23:17Because I sort of left my dental nursing job at this point and I was working in a pub and I was a bit just lost. I didn't really know what I was doing. I got to a certain, I was 21 and I just didn't know. Tricky age. Tricky age. And I just didn't really know where I fit or what I wanted to do really. So I thought, well, why not then? Like, let's have a go. And then there we go. We entered the Love Island Villa. Did you enjoy it? Loved it. I loved it. It was amazing. that series was incredible. Oh, it was so great. And people, they still are, but they fell in love with you immediately. Oh, thank you.

23:55They did though, because I think it's because, like speaking to you now, it's so authentic and so real and people go on shows like that, there's an element of playing up to the cameras and I don't think you can really play up to the cameras. I think you have to be yourself. Yeah, and I think for us, like Love Island, was we series five? I don't even know what series we were. I can't remember. It was quite early on. Series four. Series four. We was quite early on. So like Love Island, I think the year before, you know, when like Olivia and Amber, that series came, then it got kind of big, didn't it?

24:26And then our year after obviously got bigger, but obviously we didn't know because we was just in the villa. You know what I mean? And when you're in there, I know you have cameras, but you're so easy to forget about the cameras. Like, and we all just, we had a great group. We all really got on real quickly, you know. it was it we had a laugh together but when you come out and you experienced that fame is it the fame that excites you or you're just like no this is what i've seen this before i don't really think i knew what i was doing because even just before i went in to the villa my dad obviously was fuming about it he didn't want me to do that yeah he was very upset what's the conversation you have with your dad about it well i only really told him a week before that i was when i was going on and he literally we sat there and we was having i remember the dinner it was me me my nan was there my dad was there and it'd been kind of leaked to the press and i am out of order because i just didn't want to tell him and then i was like oh yeah i'm gonna do love island then and he put his fork the knife down and he went outside and had a fag and then my nan went oh he took that well then like that and he did not speak to me until literally the day i went going was going to the villa my dad put the suitcases in the car and he went see you in a couple of weeks storm bag it he was fuming with me because he's like it's a love show you know what I mean you can potentially be having sex on the TV and he knew that my again dating issue was a disaster he was like oh you're gonna have a terrible time in there you're gonna have an absolute terrible time it was a protective thing yeah he was worried about me he was really worried about me and I get it now I do totally get it because if one of my twins wanted to do it I'd probably be a bit like oh are you sure so I do get it whereas my mum was like oh she's alright she's in Spain she's gonna have a great time Would you let your kids do it?

26:07Honestly, they said, yeah, I want to go and do the Love Island. You've done it. I want them to do whatever they want to do, but I feel like now it's a little bit harder. I don't know how it's going to be like social media and all that by the time they're older. So it's if they can like handle it. You know what I mean? I don't know. Yeah. But we didn't have TikTok and all that. So when we kind of left, social media was a thing, but like social media really is a thing now. so I just don't know. Do people have sex in the villa they do? Yeah, people have sex. But I don't, I used to go, I used to sleep so well in there, like really well.

26:44I used to put my eye mask on and be gone. But yeah, people are having a great time and good on them. Why not? I just knew if I would have had sex in there, then I would have literally had my bags at the door. So I thought, well, I need a home. But yeah, I used to be like, go on, have a good time. Really? Yeah. Because you dated Jack Fincham, right? Yes, I did. I did. And I imagine he was probably like, everyone else is doing it. But you know what? He was understanding, I think. I think he totally got it. Like, that I was just like, it's just, I just don't want to, I didn't have a problem with anyone else doing it.

27:22But just for my personal reasons, I was just like, my nan's watching this. And it's something you can't change. I don't. Once that's happened, it's like, sex, sex, I'm very liberal, whatever. But it's one of those things that, you know, once you do that, I suppose. Yeah, and it was like, as soon as you'd start kissing in bed, you'd hear the camera go. Really? Yeah. Because sometimes you just want to have a little kiss and then they'd call you up to the room the next day, the beach out, and they'd be like, what happened last night, Dan? And I was like, I was just having a snog. I wasn't doing anything wrong.

27:52And I was like, well, I was like, I wasn't doing anything. Like, I told me, what was you doing? But literally, because of course, when you're in a relationship, that's the course you do when you fancy someone you know what I mean? But then you come out and there was like a spotlight on your relationship and that's hard. What does that feel like? It was because your relationship is so fast it's like it's speed in there like obviously we was in there eight weeks and you are like in love with one another, you are obsessed and then when you come out people are like are you getting engaged? Are you moving in together?

28:22Are you having babies? So I think you feel like you need to like rush and do all of that instantly and obviously like as soon as we come out we're like looking for flats so it was very it's very very quick and in a normal relationship you would not do that no do you know what i mean so it was very and i remember we would you go on like you know your morning slots and do interviews and things like you become a little bit of a pr you know i mean instantly when really you need to just come out and get to know one another but you don't do that that's really hard to deal with yeah that's a lot to deal with so how do you even like manage all of that i don't think well i mean that's why i think that's why we probably didn't work Like, because it was just so quick.

29:01Like, honestly, when I was in that villa and I always say about it, I genuinely thought, I've met the one. Like, I've actually met him. Woo-hoo. Like, Jack was so lovely in that villa. Like, we bonded instantly. Like, that first week of being in love, I know I found it really hard. Because I remember I was in there and you've got to talk about how you feel when you're in bed with someone. And he was really good at comforting me. I'm like, it's okay, Dan. Like, it's chill. Like, take it as it comes. And you know what I mean? I found the adjustment and I miss my family. So I found them first two weeks really difficult, but he was really good for me in there.

29:33Do you know what I mean? He never led us, like, Java's like, you played it safe. I'm like, I didn't play it safe, actually. I really liked him. So I did. I genuinely really did. So yeah, then just when we come out, it was just... But then there's pressure. Spotlight. And there's pressure, right? Pressure. Because I suppose when you do a show like Love Island and then you come out and then you're seen as this couple, there's a pressure to kind of... Be a good couple. Be a couple. Mm-hmm. And being young and being in the industry you're thinking well if we aren't this couple then what are we yeah and that means everything's going to go yeah so we might and a lot of people just stay together because they think that's what people want yes yes and i think as well for us people really loved us and jack was very insecure as well and i know it's a weird thing to say but i used to think why do they love what do they love us for what have we done and then you start thinking like you need to change yourself a little bit because you're like people love you and then you're scared that you're going to do something wrong and like i can't explain what i mean but you you become a little bit like you become a character of yourself yeah and you panic don't you like just in case you meet someone and then they're not what you thought they thought you were or you know it becomes a little bit like that for a little while because all of a sudden you go from being no one and then you're out and people know you and it's scary it's quite daunting what is it sounds really odd but you basically because i've experienced it you um you you basically become like a like a heightened up version of yourself yes so in my case everyone used to say oh you're really energetic energetic and funny yeah so everywhere I went I had to do that yes and if I wasn't doing that I was worried people were going to be let down yeah be let down and then I didn't really know how to act any anytime because I was have to be this upbeat.

31:19And if I was silent or quiet or whatever, oh, then that's not who he is. Yes, yes. And so I imagine that's exactly what happened with you. Yeah, completely. When you had to be that, oh, Danny, this really nice, kind, lovely person. Wherever you went, you had to just be the same person the whole time. Yeah, and I was just so worried, like what you said, just about letting people down. And I think in our relationship, we were just, I think when we come off Love Island, I think you realise you're just very different. You're very, very different. What do you mean? I think we both just wanted completely different things.

31:50Like, you know, what I wanted. I've always, I always thought in my head, I was only 21, so I was so young. Do you know what I mean? But like, I like, you know, my boyfriend coming home and cooking dinners and watching films together. And when I'm in a relationship, I'm in a relationship. You know, I really like that, like, tight unit thing. And I think Jack was just on a completely different page to what I wanted. He's suddenly famous. And he's young. And he's good looking. Good looking. Wants to go out. and I don't blame him for that. Do you know what I mean? So he just wasn't compatible on the outside world, which was a shame because when we was in the villa, you are so compatible.

32:26But I think you can be compatible with anyone in a villa because there's no outside noise, is there? And when people say that they're in that villa, they're faking it. You cannot fake it in there because you are together 24 hours a day. So if you don't fancy someone, you're around them, they become quite irritating, don't they? So all of us, as far as we got, we all just loved each other so much it's it's intense but I don't know that's real I don't know can I ask you a big question yeah you know with all reality shows and I've experienced it what happens is there feels that you know especially with Love Island there's a lot of mental health that comes out of it and you know we the awful statistics some people have been on the show right why do you think that happens I think it's because when you can come off a show like Love Island, you are so big.

33:15And then all of a sudden people can easily just forget about you. I think you are. And I think it can be really hard for people. Do you know what I mean? Like mentally and like everyone knows you and everyone, people don't really sympathize as well. You know, like the industry we're in, a lot of people hate us. Do you know what I mean? You do get a lot of crap, talentless, this and that, you know, people just like to, people just like to be mean so I don't know if if you are having a real low moment and you've got people attacking you and the press are on you and you're having a bit of a wobble in life and it's so advertised then you just feel like there's no way out do you know what I mean because we all make mistakes in life we all do things but when it's advertised and you've got everyone having an opinion on you I think that's when you can just completely do the wrong turn you know what I mean like Caroline breaks my heart because obviously caroline was um our host and i loved caroline she always had the sweetest soul like she was amazing and i remember she was going through a little bit of um she i think she split up with her partner at the time and um i remember she was in the villa and she was really really sad about it but the way she could turn on being a host i've never known like she was fantastic wow so you could see her being sad she would be sad and she'd have her makeup party it's like sorting her face out and doing all of her hair and she'd be really sad and then And the lights would come on and she would perform.

34:35And I was like, wow. But Caroline was like, again, wore her heart on her sleeve. And she loved Love Island. Like Caroline loved that show so, so much. So yeah, that was just the worst thing ever, what happened to Caroline.

34:56When did you suddenly realise that your dad was famous? I would say probably when I started my new school. when I moved to Essex because everyone in London, they just, no one really battered an eyelid. Like no one really battered an eyelid. And then when I started that new school, then it started being like the whole daddy dies, your dad thing. And I was like, oh, is he? Because he doesn't act like that. You'd come home and that was it. Do you know what I mean? I knew he was starting to get a little bit more bigger because the house we lived in, he'd come home with the biggest sofas and the biggest tellies.

35:27We're living in this tiny little house. That's my daddy always needs the biggest of everything. You know what I mean? the biggest lamps and my mum in the end. And where are you living? You're living in a small apartment? Yeah, we had a small little two-bedroom house in Custom House. And so that's where we lived. We lived like my nan was the other side of the road. There was a school in the middle. My nan was there and then we loved that house. So my mum's like, I wish I'd kept that house. We loved it. And then obviously he was doing more stuff and all that. And then that's when we moved to Essex.

35:58So I think that's when I started understanding it more because it was mentioned to me more. but I didn't understand why it was being mentioned so much. Is that exciting or not exciting? Are you embarrassed? Yeah, because I was a bit like, why does it matter? You know what I mean? It's just my dad. Wow. He's just my dad, isn't he? You know, like people have their dads and their mums. I looked at my dad as just my dad, not as an actor, you know? Yeah, because that's interesting because fame was so attractive because I used to watch people on television and think, oh my God, they had the funnest time where it's exciting, all this and that.

36:31but you saw it within your dad and you were just like why does everyone even care about that that's just my dad yeah stop completely just didn't yeah it was just like can we stop talking about like i get it like because he's just not like that he's the most simple man loves an antique shop you know he's so simple so for me when people were on and on and on about it it was just like oh can we just shut up about it sometimes the girls would be like oh your dad's well fit and i didn't know how to respond to that I'm not going to go yeah or no he isn't like what do I say whatever I say is going to be wrong here you know you're I heard in a you wrote a letter to your dad once didn't you or you said to your dad I think your dad your dad went through a tricky time yes yes and and I think he's spoken about it right and like you know he I listened to him on a podcast where he basically said you know he went through a tricky time and you know alcohol and drugs and all these things and you wrote a letter when he was in rehab yeah because he went rehab twice and the first time he went I think he was trading cream eggs with with um diazepam so there was a woman in there obviously that was in there for overeating because it was for every single thing overeating and obviously he's was for drug addiction and he was trading things with us so he'd give her a cream egg she'd give him something.

37:56So it was never going to work. I think he'd come home for a week and was like, fine, and then back to normal. And I mean, he always, he's very open about it. But then I think... Was he open about it with you as a family as well? Not at that time. With me, like my mum and dad kept it. I sort of knew my dad was going away, but I don't know if they just didn't really want to... It's quite hard to articulate, right? Yeah, how do they explain to me what's going on? And you're how old at this time? I don't know how old I was. I was still in school. Wow. So I was still in secondary school. Hadn't left then.

38:24but then the second time he went in I knew it was serious like because that's like he was like we always say if he didn't go rehab he probably wouldn't be here now because he was terrible absolutely terrible and obviously he always says like EastEnders did save him in a sense because he was in I think he was in such a dark place of himself and he couldn't get out of that and then you rely on drink and drugs and then obviously you know he was going to EastEnders and you know for him he knew he had to like sort himself out like I think he said he woke up one morning And he was just like, this is it now.

38:56Like I've got to do something for myself. And it's the best thing you'd ever done. I have very close people to me who have struggled with addiction. Yeah. And without a doubt, it's a disease. Oh, it is. It's the worst thing ever. It's the most upsetting thing in the world. It takes over your brain. Absolutely. And to watch people go through it and not understand it, it's really hard. And you just want them to get better. And you want them to help themselves. and you don't know what to say to them or you don't know what to do and you almost want to shake them. Come on, what are you doing? Life is this, what's going on here?

39:30And I think it was hard for my mum as well because obviously my mum has always been the like force in the house. She's the most strongest woman I know, my mum. I think my mum, she's trying to look after us but obviously now looking at it, she was going through the hardest time of her life. You know what I mean? Like her husband, you know, is in a really bad, bad way but she's trying to keep everything really strong and tighten it in the house. so yeah my dad blessed him he he went for a terrible it was a really hard time I don't want to I just want to say because well and also what we talk about so much drink though it was just more no it's just the the chaos yeah the chaos of it all the and he was around the wrong people my dad so the first time he come out and then he meets out of all the mates that he shouldn't be mates with you know what I mean and then the second time he had to cut I'd say 70 % of people out of his life what does it make you feel because normally what happens is that we talk about we always talk about the addict or the person who's going through it and a lot of the time we don't talk about the stories of the people who were the ones at home yeah or the family or the friends and especially as a daughter you know and what does that do to you do you think it was so hard it was really hard because obviously I've always I love my dad I've always been like a bit of a daddy's girl you know what I mean so when he'd ring me it'd be really hard because you'd want to cry but then you also want to be really strong like when they're ringing you and they give because I think he could ring us like you could bring us like once a week and then you'd have a little bit of a chat with him and then you could just see like the progression of him which was amazing because your family like your world you know what I mean and I was I was we was worried about him we was worried about him and then when he sort of come out you don't want to do anything to upset him and you want him what I wanted to just bubble wrap him because I didn't want him to leave the outside world and then go down that terrible route again and I think my mum was like with the second time was the time that he really had to like up his game because obviously and he did like the AA meetings and all that sort of stuff but I think for him like the first time he had a go but the second time I think he knew that there was no way back he had to stick to it and obviously you really think he wouldn't be here yeah I think you do your 20 % say in rehab but it's 80 % at home because as soon as you're in a bubble and then as soon as you come out you've got numbers you can ring or people you can meet so for him his massive thing was being at home I think and he stayed at home I mean he's a hermit anyway he loves being at home but yeah that's when he really but he says now he's in such a good place with himself so he'd be an idiot to ever want to go down that route again you know what I mean what was the letter you wrote him so the thing is we spoke about this letter recently me and my dad and I say I must have been numb because I don't remember anything I wrote in that letter because he spoke to me about the letter and he was like do you not remember I was like I don't remember a thing that I put and he really remembers it.

42:12Wow. I just don't know because I remember my mum was telling me to write letters because you had to do that but I don't remember anything and I don't know if that's really bad that I don't remember a thing. If someone very close to me I had to write them a letter. Yeah. When they were in rehab. Yeah. And I I can't even remember what I wrote. Yeah I just can't remember that. It's really hard. Because you know when you're like maybe you're in pain and everything floods out and then it's like you close it and then never want to reopen it again. I don't know if it's that. Like my brain's just blocked that out.

42:44But I don't, because we recently spoke about the letter and I was like, oh my God, yeah, the letter. Do you think you shut it out? Maybe. Because I mean, it was a long time ago now, 12 years ago. But yeah, but I knew that letter meant a lot to him because he likes letters. He likes his cards on Father's Day. Do you know what's amazing about you is that I can sort of see it in your whole demeanor. how old were you when you were going through it? You must have been pretty young, right? Maybe, yeah, 15, 16. 15, 16, okay. So you're living your own life. You're out, you're having boyfriends, you're wanting to drink in the park, having fun.

43:19You want to focus on boys, all these different things. But yet you have the mentality to realise that you want to cry, which most kids would do, but you also have to stay strong. And you have this sort of maturity to understand that. That's really unique. Like no one would, no one. I don't think I would be doing that I'd be crying what the hell's wrong with you I'm so upset but you knew you had to be strong for your dad yeah I wanted to be but I think my mum is very strong so I don't know if I'd get that trait from her but you took on a parenting role yeah and I wanted as well because my mum she's amazing my mum she's nutty she's like literally nuts but we love her there's only one Jo we say but yeah there's only one Jo but yeah she's great she always holds the fault we say my mum like she holds the house together.

44:07What's the best thing about your mum? She's charming and she's very, you know what my mum, if something has gone wrong, she will always make you laugh about it. Like, so she's always got the little twist. Like, if I ring her up and I'm like, this is wrong or blah, blah, blah. She's always like, come on. Like, and she'll make me laugh. Whereas my dad I'd ring and he'd go, come give me a cuddle. We'll have a cuddle about it, you know? So yeah, she's very witty. What's your relationship like with alcohol? I'm not really a big drinker, really. But when I go out to the girls... Okay. Oh, yeah. We're having a good time.

44:39What are we drinking? I like a little gin and tonic. I'm scarred from... Sorry, calling me. I like a bit of... And it has to be in the right glass. I'm sorry. You know when you get a horrible glass... Okay, give it to you. Describe it to you. What is it? I like the ones that are like... You like the big round one? Yeah, I like a big round one. Loads of ice, some limes, some cucumbers. And I don't like pink gin. I want a little bit. What is it? Hendrix. Hendrix. You like that one? I like a bit of Hendrix, yeah. Bit of tonic, slimline. We're feeling good that night. And I do like a little tequila sometimes.

45:10Oh, yeah. You can't go wrong. A shot? A shot of tequila. Yeah, yeah. We're having a good time. As soon as I start ordering espresso martinis. Oh, yeah, but then I'll be up all night. I know. Why? This Matt. Why would you do that? I'm drinking coffee before I go to bed. I would never, ever do that. Ever. Talking about your confidence and how you lacked confidence. and then you know being worried about being called a nepo baby which i totally understand which is which i often think is really unfair and hard because you're born into a family where someone has a certain name and then you're expected to just be like well i mean sorry what am i supposed to do yeah yeah and and doubling down on that you have the same name as your dad it's very he always says that if he would have known i would have followed in his footsteps he want to call me Danny?

46:00Because my name was Charlotte for a while and it was Rosie. But then for some reason it's fun back to Danny. So, it is. And it's funny as well because when people now are on TV they'll say Danny Dye they have to go, oh no, the little Danny. Everyone gets themselves in a bit of a like puzzle. Because I went Danny Dye Senior? I didn't know what to say. Danny Dye Senior? I assume I got a bit red and they don't know what to do. And like little Danny Dye. We can say big Dan and little Dan. That's what we do now.

46:34So you break up with Jack. Yes. And then you have your son. Yes. Santiago. Little Santi. Oh, he's lovely. He's so naughty though. He's really got me right around his finger. How old is he? He's five in January. Really? And he loves to cuddle me, but he also loves to wind me up. Oh yeah. Very cheeky. And this was with your partner who was before Love Island? The one that was just hell. So realistically, when I, it's really, I always think openly, before Love Island, he never really wanted to settle down with me. He was a massive player, just massive. And then when I come off Love Island, obviously me and Jack split up, we sort of reunited again.

47:18And realistically, that should have not been, like I shouldn't have gone back there. You know what I mean? Why did you go back? Because people are talking again. the advice is that I want to give the advice so Lucy or another Danny or Tom are sitting there thinking okay I'm in the same situation there's someone who I let go but now they're knocking on the door should I go back to them shouldn't I go back to them I'm confused what do I do I mean I think it depends what situation you're in because some people go back to their exes and it is the most successful relationship do you know what I mean like and it really works for them but I think like my friend said I think I went back there because he was someone that I know and someone you wanted familiarity yeah that familiarity of like and i mean you just i was again at 21 and i was a bit like oh that didn't work out with jack so kind of know him like it's not we'll probably just have a bit of fun or do you know what i mean it's not going to be anything and obviously i don't regret anything i don't i always say now like i never regret anything because i think every decision you make good or bad leads you to the path you're meant to go on and having santi changed me as a person massively so I'm so glad I had my sense so I think I had to go through a kind of tricky relationship to get my little boy to change me to move forward that's how I look at that relationship now because it god it changed me it really did how did it change you because I think I was always looking for the fire I never really looked at my future I was always very present and I would do things that my friends was always like you never really think about like my best friend Kayleigh she's like I think I drove her mad because she was always so sensible and then I was the naughty little mate do you know what I mean she's the sensible one always in relationships and I'd ring her up and go okay look what I've done now and do you know what I mean she needed a bit of that though so I think when I when I got went back to that relationship I think I was just still going through that kind of and I mean I was who am I what am I what am I doing and I didn't really think um but yeah I think it changed me because I kind of really once I had Santi I was like right I'm an adult now and I've got to look after a child so all these stupid little things that I'm doing and being like just not care I can't explain what I mean but I just think I never really thought about anything so when I had my little boy I was like every decision I make is for my little boy now and I want to give him the best future ever I can't be giving him a toxic environment were you maybe did you plan santi no no i don't because just before just before santi i got pregnant and then that didn't work out and then i got pregnant literally i think so the first right so before i got pregnant with santi i got pregnant and then that didn't work out but then i wanted a baby then because that didn't work out because i was like well i want a baby so this month I'm going to be not careful.

50:08Do you know what I mean? Because it didn't work out. Because I think that happens with people. They either really want to have a baby or then they don't want to have a baby for a little while. And I think for me, I was like, no, I'm having a baby. And my mum and dad were fuming at the time. So I think we kind of... What did they say? How did... So you... Yeah. You fall pregnant. Yeah. I reckon you tell your mum first. You always tell your mum. You always tell your mum. I think I always, as soon as I get the line on my pregnancy test, they're like, you ring your mum or your best friend. Do you know what I mean?

50:43Like straight away. Like the way you steal with the toilet. You're like, mum. It's Sophie. When Julie's Sophie honestly showed it to me and I was like, oh my God. And then on the phone and I was like, whoa, is this like, I thought we were meant to whack. I was the best feeling ever. It's an amazing feeling. But so you then phone your mum, nervous to tell your mum? Yeah, I was nervous to tell my mum. And to be honest, they were so... they was happy for me with the baby. Like they were so happy that I was, they knew kind of what I went through. Do you know what I mean? So they was like, when obviously I got pregnant with Santi, they was like happy for me for that.

51:15But they was obviously, they knew that relationship that I was in was never going to work. So I think for them, they was like knowing that, right, she's going to have this baby, but she's probably not going to be with this person. And they obviously didn't want that for me. And I get it now because now I'm a parent, I totally get it. And I've said sorry to them so many times. I'm like, I'm so sorry what I put you through. Yeah. you know like you know when you're a teenager and you're really mean to them and I look back and I'm like god I've got so much karma coming but yeah I just feel like I get what they were saying now because I was like you're not gonna you're probably not gonna be with him why are you having a baby it's so stupid do you know what a baby does it locks you in yeah like what are you doing and I was like I'm fine I can do what I want and all that sort of stuff so I think we had a little bit of that but then obviously as we progressed they were so happy because that was their little grandson or granddaughter you know what I mean so they ended up putting their emotions at bay and then just sort of getting me through my pregnancy can i the the pregnancy before was it a miscarriage yeah it was a miscarriage but it was but it was it was a very early miscarriage but i think it just when i got pregnant again i mean i don't know how many scans i had i was up there all the time i was literally knocking at the door like can you check again can you check again they're like daddy come on i had a portfolio of santi honestly he wasn't even born and he's got a hole literally i just thought i need to see him one more time no one talks about that no one talks about the anxiety that you feel because all you want to have is a healthy happy baby everything else is a bonus absolutely and it's so scary pregnancy is so scary so scary because it is like you're looking you're growing a baby like it's a miracle in a sense isn't it like looking after them and making sure you're doing the right things and don't eat this, don't eat that.

52:58It was scary for me. What's your relationship like with Santi's dad now? I would say we're very civil and I will always be really civil to him because obviously that's Santi's dad. Do you know what I mean? Like there's got to be times, you know, with Santi in school plays and his birthdays and I would never want Santi to feel uncomfortable. Like Santi's never going to know his mum and dad being together, which I kind of, I actually prefer that more because he's never going to know what he's missing in that sense. because you always feel guilty. Do you? Always. I do. I always feel so, because you know like when Jared walks through the door and the twins are like, Daddy, Daddy, I fear that Santi, does he feel, I know he doesn't because he's four, but like does he feel that that's not his daddy?

53:41I always have them feelings, but it's good because one of my twins, Santi calls Jared JJ and Summer keeps calling Jared JJ. She keeps calling him JJ and I'm like, that's Daddy. So yeah, I do, I always feel guilty for Santi and I probably do overcompensate with Santi a little bit like I mollycoddle him a lot because I'm like it's me and Santi against the world because I think there was a time where it was me and him against the world and we was on our own together so I just you know if Santi goes I'm going too. But Dani the um you know it's um it's also it's a little bit like your own relationship with your mum.

54:21Yeah. In a little bit and you know especially if your you know your dad maybe was coming on the friday but it was like you and your mum yeah it's like we're against the world here and that's an amazing thing but your your ex-partner went to prison he did and that was a really hard time i think for me as well like we sort of got together and um it was like it's a lot it was a lot do you know what i mean and you know what it is as well i think for me i never really thought about what he was doing or i don't know i don't know was i a little bit naive i don't know i just wasn't really ever paying attention when i should have and no you shouldn't by the way take no yeah take no accountability it was a hard time because i think for me you're young and you're you're you don't think do you know what i mean you're pregnant and i think for me as well then obviously going through the pregnancy and then it was all leaked to the press and then people really were hating on me like they were the the stuff i was getting and I never really, then when he went to prison, obviously everyone sort of blamed me and I was a bit like, I felt like I'd done the crime.

55:27Like I genuinely felt like I had done it and committed it because people, you know, the press were accusing me and there was a lot, a lot going on. And I remember sitting there and I was like, I don't know how to comment on this. I don't know what to say because anything I say is going to be manipulated or twisted and I just loved the wrong person. Do you know what I mean? And I didn't want to ever say anything that was going to, Santi was going to see when he was older or I didn't want to go on YouTube and start crying it's just not my I just didn't know what to do so I just stayed silent and I stayed silent about it for years I didn't speak about it for a very long time like I think only the past year now that I can actually speak about it almost like a PTSD thing yeah because I just didn't want to speak about it I'm so worried what people are going to say you don't want to bring up all those comments again and everything and I totally get it like I totally get it and I now and again now get the odd comment but I mean but you know it's not your decision yeah it wasn't my but you do know that Yeah, no, I know.

56:18But I think it's when you get with someone, people just automatically think that you're condoning, you're accepting it and you're with it. And I think for me, it was like, I just really loved the wrong person and just didn't really think about what he was doing. Do you know what I mean? Because I loved him and I was like, you know when the person is so wrong for you, but you're like, no, but I want to be with him. I want to prove everyone wrong. And you see the best. Prove my friends wrong, prove my family wrong. A hundred percent. And when you're in love, you're blinded by everything. And I was.

56:47I totally agree that love is blind in that sense. So I think him going to prison was like the worst time of my life, but the best time of my life. And the fact that I was like, this is my time now. I had my little boy and I was like, this is it now. He went away for scamming people, right? And did you ever visit him in prison? No. You didn't? No, I never ever wanted to. I think for me, because we was never right for one another. and as soon as I had Santi I knew what love was I had my little boy and I was like I love this little boy so much and I am it's really weird it was like a switch for me really yeah it was like a switch and I was like he's my baby and I no so I never I never went and visited him at all the strength of a mother you become a lioness yeah you are oh my god but we're looking after your little cubs you know what I mean like and that's how I was do you know what's been really brave about you as well Dani is that you've spoken about the loneliness the anxiety, the emotions that you feel during pregnancy and after pregnancy.

57:50Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you did a documentary about it. Yes, I did. What emotions did you feel? I think it's not really spoken. I mean, I think it's got a lot better now. I think women are speaking about anxiety and loneliness. You know, I think women are now, because I don't think women support women. I think a lot of women like to attack women. If a woman is moaning or they're a little bit down or they're a little bit lost, you know and they and they speak about it they always get someone come stop moaning stop complaining you're lucky to have a baby you do still get quite a lot of that and I feel like women understand should understand women we all have to have a period every month we have moments when we feel a bit bloated and the first time you're bloated you notice a woman going you look fat there's still that whole concept of like women just don't like to support other women and I think for me when I did this documentary I just really wanted like women to just sort of come together and sort of see their stories and be like you know not every pregnancy you know is successful and you have this baby and when you have a baby you all of a sudden you're like oh my god I have a baby what do I do like you get sent home with this baby and you've got to look after the baby and I'm like like my mum come and live with me for a little while and she left and I was like you've got to come back mum you've got to come back you're a single parent yes and my mum used to like come over and fill up my fridge and all that sort of stuff because the dog you did is called Danny Dar is this anxiety because it's there's a difference between anxiety and loneliness yes anxiety for me and I don't know if it's like this heightened like adrenaline feeling where it's just so uncomfortable but loneliness is one that no one really talks about because you're so isolated as a parent so isolated because you're sort of like living on a it's really hard to like get out of the door and like you're sort of living on a clock you know feed times changing times and you know you do have that and you haven't got that thing of like just being able to get up and go and your freedom goes.

59:41You know, like if you think, I'm just going to get up and walk up to the shop and that postpartum thing of like, you don't feel great in yourself. Because obviously like, women all get it differently. Like some of my friends didn't get it. Some I did, like the baby blues. Like you have them weeks where you just cry over nothing. Like literally your toast will burn and you're sobbing over the toast. Like, but my mum was really good. Feeling low. Really low? You can get, because like, but my mum, I remember the first four days, It's like when your milk comes in and then like your boobs, I'm sorry, you've got this to come.

1:00:13You're going to love the boobs. I can't wait. The boobs at the moment. The boobs are great. The boobs and the butt. It's like unbelievable. I don't get to go near it, but like there's no. That will come. It does it? That will come. You've got to. I'm a born again virgin, but that's fine. What is it? Celibate. Yeah, I'm celibate now. I'm celibate. That's fine. But yeah, so when your milk comes, but my mum was good because she warned me. She's like, when your milk comes in, you just get really, really teary. And like you cry over absolutely everything and anything. So I think you just, you just want to sit indoors a little bit more.

1:00:45You know what I mean? Like you just don't feel like, right, I can get up and do things. So I think it's always really good to find a little community of mums. Did you find it hard to talk about? Or were you quite open? Did you say to other mums, to friends, look, I'm feeling really down here. I'm feeling lonely. I'm feeling anxious. I think I did because I had friends that had, I had my best friend Kaylee who had a baby who was one year older. so she was always at my ass and I was always at her she was like come on come to mine so I was really lucky that I had her and my mum was great my mum like come and lived with me and if I'd have a cry she'd let me have a cry but sometimes I'd be so embarrassed I'd go in the toilet and cry but when I had the twins I had terrible baby blues but some people do and some people don't but I'm such an emotional person it's great to be emotional I would sit in the toilet and cry I'd move her fingers I didn't want anyone to see me I just need to sob and then I'd feel so much better so that's why like when my friends now have babies i really like to just give them a care package of like this is how you may feel or if you've had a c-section or like you do that yeah i like to write a list of how they're potentially gonna feel because i want them to know it's normal because it's normal i want them to know that it's okay because when we had you have a c-section you get really windy and no one told me this right like they fill your body up obviously with like gas and then all of a sudden they're like tell you to like fart and stuff and I was like, I am not doing that.

1:02:04I've never done that in front of my boyfriend. I'm not doing it now. And then Jamad had to leave the room. The woman said, Danny, you really need to release some gas. And I was like, I am not doing that. I was like, he's going home later and then I'll do it. And then you're like on all fours, like trying to get this gas out. You sound like honestly a brass band. It's insane. So I remember telling my friend that you're going, and she was like, Dan, I really needed that advice. Because you don't think it's normal. You're all fours just letting it all out. It's so unclaverous the whole thing, isn't it?

1:02:39Honestly. So I like them to know that this is how you could potentially feel. You might not feel like this, but if you do, it's like normal. I think it's so important to support your friends. I love this. What advice would you give to someone who's about to be a parent? I would say to enjoy the newborn bubble as much as possible. Like, don't feel like you need to get out. you like and also just sit in your pajamas especially with your first baby yeah like sit in your pajamas watch netflix like don't try and do anything don't try and do anything because housework you're always gonna have housework do you know i mean go to cook and get them frozen meals as well they're great i do some little deals as well little vouchers i love a voucher but um and also like reach out to people if you need help but if you don't want visitors don't have visitors do you know what i mean don't feel the pressure don't feel the pressure just have the people your nearest and dearest around you do you know what i mean and just don't feel pressure to get up and get back on your feet again you know what i mean and avoid every all the noise that do this do that do what you want to do and if someone is struggling and they don't and when someone is struggling with the blues or anxiety or loneliness that you felt it's quite hard to realize there's an end to it because you don't really know if there's going to be an end so what would you say to that person to speak to someone i think because sometimes people don't always have family and friends so i feel like even like if you go and like speak to like say your doctor because they can always advise you because you have to be careful that the baby blues doesn't turn into like postnatal depression do you know what i mean because it can go down that route and you sometimes don't know if it is postnatal depression so i do sometimes do think if you can't speak to a family member or some friends then speak to a doctor what is the difference just to educate me what is the difference between baby blues and postnatal depression so i think post i think postnatal depression it just i would say i mean i'm not an expert but you know what i mean but i think you depression because baby blues can last a few weeks like it does it's not like a day thing it can last a few weeks a month six weeks but i think the postnatal depression it just carries on carries on and then you just feel really really low and like you can't get out of that and having to look after your kid and having to look after a baby when you don't want to look after yourself then you feel really like you we have mum guilt honestly mum guilt was the worst thing ever explain that to me you just feel guilty over everything like it's like you go on a night out and you feel bad for leaving your child but then you're at home and you want a night out and you feel bad that you want a night out because you should probably just be with your child you go to work you feel bad you're at home but I want to work it's like constant and then what happens with your partner is that you're annoying your partner for not feeling guilty because you're like I'm feeling guilty why are you not feeling guilty about this as well especially because when we had the twins me and Jared he was like I had to go back to football like pretty much straight away he was in Australia then he was in Prague and it was really annoying because obviously I couldn't go I wanted to go and like support him and I couldn't go and I was annoyed at myself I was like my twins are like two weeks old I can't physically go so yeah you do have that a little bit of their life carries on and then you're like at home and you feel a bit like you're a bit wobbly your boobs are leaking you know it's all a little bit unattractive for a while you're farting everywhere constipated probably but yeah it's great that postpartum twins compared to having one da da da da wow is it wild because a lot of people say to me like oh I found my second really easy I'm like I did not find twins easy at all because I just think like feeding like I mean how on earth yeah it was hell how it was hard I knew it was going to be hard but I thought god this is even harder than I even thought it was going to be it was brutal best advice for the partner best advice for me to do during it to be what do i need to do just be patient i would say yeah yeah patient coffees you know and obviously just ride the emotions because i think it's hard as well because like you don't it's hard you know that's how you if you get a headache you can understand what a headache feels like but obviously you don't understand what postpartum feels like so it can be hard for you to understand them emotions you know what I mean but I think it's just be chill let her feel how she wants to feel but also do the night feeds and all jam I'm going to Jessie J said to me um she said be one you might lose your mate for a bit yeah absolutely and I was like what do you mean she goes well that she's your best mate and just for a bit she'll come back but maybe for a bit it'll be just she'll have a tough time at certain points just remember that it was such good advice so true because you look at when I look at Sophie and I look at women and firstly I salute all women now having like seen whatever they go and I always I think you do when you become a dad as well but patience is everything honestly you just have to ride the wave 100 % do you know what I mean if she wants to cry let her cry angry it's just like not really retaliating you know what I mean because you can be hot headed one minute and then loving the next it's sort of accepting that a little bit stock up the fridge do some night feeds run her a nice bath do all of that rub her back I know this is the big thing them sort of things hot water bottles everything just pure love and you and it's really weird you fall in love with your partner so much more like when they do all them things like the nicest little cutie things like just little twinkie things like just getting her a nice coffee and you know what I mean

1:07:59you guys just got married we did that was lovely isn't it the best getting married isn't it the best day of your life It's the most, it's the best thing. Everyone roots for you. You get to have the most amazing time in front of your friends and family. It's amazing. It's like the most amazing thing in the world. It's like heaven, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I felt like I died and went to heaven for a day. It was beautiful. I loved it. How did he propose to you? We was in Ibiza and we was on a boat and it was lovely, literally. Were you expecting it? The morning that, because when we went out there, my friends would be like, oh, do you think he's going to propose to you?

1:08:34And I was like, I don't know, because it had just been the Euros. So I thought, what time has he had to like go out and get a ring? And Jared's not good with surprises. I know my Christmas present before I opened it. Like he tells me everything. So I was a bit like unsure. But then the morning he wore like a nice blue shirt and I like him in a blue shirt. I do. So then I was a bit like... You were like, that's a sign of something. That's hot. That's hot. We like this. We like this. And then obviously, but then when we got on the boat, I thought, I just don't know if Jared would know how to get a ring.

1:09:05and I just didn't know. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, when it happened, it was the best thing ever. It was like, yeah, it was just so romantic, bless him. He went on one knee though and I was like, did you say will you marry me? I don't even know if you said that. He went, yeah, I think I did. I was like, I don't know if you did. I don't know if you just went like, I think it was - It's like a blur, isn't it? It was such a blur. It was just, yeah, it was so special though, bless him. He's a sweetheart. And having kids there as well and just at the wedding and stuff. Oh, I know. Do you know what?

1:09:34We only really had close family kids and I'm really glad we did that because we just wanted all my friends and stuff to have a good time. Have a good time and party. But yeah, it was, to be fair, the kids did walk down the aisle because I was a bit like, like, Santy's got a mind of his own. Like, if he don't want to do something, he ain't going to do it. Like, doesn't matter how many dairy milks I give him, he ain't going to do it. But he did walk down the aisle and so did the twins. Did you cry? Oh, I was giggling, really giggling all day. But I put all candles, We had all candles out, which was dangerous for the kids because they're all dreading.

1:10:06I'm like, the candles, the candles, like the flowers. They're going to set it all light. But it was so special. And I buried a sausage the night before of our wedding. It was like 25 degrees. It was boiling. I told you, it's the weather. I live by that. Bury a sausage the night before, you have good weather the next day. My friend brought the Richmond sausage from her house as well. She turned it up to my house when I got the sausages. Did you plant it raw? It was raw. It was raw. Yeah, it was a raw sausage and I dug deep. I was like, we're burying this. And it was boiling. It was perfect.

1:10:45You were doing Strictly recently. Oh, James. Do you know, it's actually the sweetest phone call I've ever got. Oh, James, I needed you. I was like, I've actually rung you, didn't I? You rung me. It was the sweetest phone call I ever got. And you got injured. you did anything strictly you got injured I saw the message you put up on Instagram and you fractured your foot yeah so it's it's such a weird injury because it I don't feel as much pain as I probably should what was the moment it happened? we was we was practicing our quick step nice and we did like a jump and fell and my foot it rolled and it made a noise and I was like no it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's that crunch and then Nikita blessing we come and looked at my foot and stuff and he was like, no, no, no, like, it's fine.

1:11:34You've just rolled your ankle and you know when you think, why did I hear a noise? Like, why did I hear a noise? And then that day he was like, listen, we spoke to the physio and this physio was like, just go home. Like, just go home, have the weekend. He seen me on the Friday, the physio and had a little look at it and he was touching it all because it was like, it was really swollen on like a certain point of my foot and then I was a bit like, he was like, just keep icing it. Jared brought me home like a game ready machine, like an ice machine from football and I was just icing. He was on me every 20 minutes, every hour on the dog.

1:12:03Ice, ice, ice, ice. I was like on the sofa for like 48 hours just icing it. And then because I was like, I'm going in on Monday and I really want it to like the sweating to go down. And then I went in on the Monday, the physio like looked at it and stuff. And he was like, well, listen, we're going for the MRI. He was like, because I was doing like hops and stuff on it and doing the right thing. So I thought surely I wouldn't be able to do that if it was really bad. Do you know what I mean? And then the physio sent me for the MRI right and then the Tuesday morning the phone call oh my god it was like someone had died I know that sounds really dramatic but it was like it's the worst thing I'm really sorry I was like what she was like it's a fracture I was like but how is it a fracture I was like inject it there's got to be something you've got out there and obviously they just said to me like they are amazing though like all the Strictly team like they have rung me text me like they've been so supportive and then I remember speaking to them and they was just like we're gonna have to withdraw you and I was like but I don't want it I'll be fine it's alright it don't matter we'll go barefoot you know like I just really didn't want it to end there's got to be something we can do when I did mine I felt like I was in a nightmare I'm so glad I felt like I was in a nightmare during it and it's unfair because you feel like something's out of your control that's happened same as you it's like what the hell like why this has never happened like why does this happen now yeah like jumping is so silly isn't it I think you would have done really well as well oh Jame I feel so embarrassed about that I'm so embarrassed Dani can I say just thank you for doing this like honestly I want everyone to go and listen to your podcast Live and Let Dies you host it with your dad but also with your mum yes it's amazing thank you it's really you're just you're just a lovely amazing soul you really like truly you are and so I don't want comments all that kind of stuff I just I hope you don't you hope you ignore all that crap well you're good at outing them so Yeah, 100%.

1:13:57No, you're the greatest. I really appreciate it. Listen, we'd like to end the podcast with eight questions. Are you ready for this? Okay, let's go. What's a saying or phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up? Oh my God. Why is my brain gone? No, I don't. That cheers you up? Yeah, what's a saying or phrase that someone says to you that you go, yeah, I like that? Jared's mum says this. She goes, dream, believe, achieve. Let's freaking go. Best compliment anyone's ever given you? I don't know what's my best compliment it's terrible that I don't know how to answer this one isn't it some people can't some people find it hard I find it really hard I've been told I've got a good bum and I know I do so I'm gonna lose that one

1:14:45what scares you most about yourself my negativity why do you think you have that because you're such a bright soul I don't know what to do about it, babe. I'm trying. Switch it in your head or try to, even though you trick yourself sometimes. It's like meditation, maybe. Yeah. When was the last time you cried? Oh, last week. Really? What was it about? Strictly. What's something you can't let go of? Oh, chocolate. Yeah, favourite. Which one? Dairy milk, fruit or nut. Always. In the fridge? Out the fridge? In the fridge. Yeah, yeah. I don't like soggy chocolate. No, cold in the cup of tea? I like a cup of coffee or tea with a nice chocolate.

1:15:28What's your guilty pleasure? My guilty pleasure, like any reality TV. Like I love reality TV so much. Married at first sight, always. Real Housewives? I've never seen Real Housewives. Have you not? No. Sophie, just honestly, she's obsessed. What turns you off? Bad teeth. What turns you on? No. Like acts of, what's it, acts of service? You know, like when I get home and like the house is, like the dishwasher's unloaded. That's your love language. Like, thank you. Do you know what I mean? Things like that. So you come to Jara's, he's cleaned everything. I adore him so much. Really? Is that like, let's fricking go?

1:16:08Yeah, let's come on. When it's eight o 'clock, the kids are in bed. He'd rather play PlayStation. What do you like most about yourself? That I like to have a laugh. you 100 % do bonus favourite swear word probably fuck Danny you're the greatest thank you so much for coming on

1:16:37firstly I want to say a big thank you for Danny for coming on the episode that was incredible I know that so many people are going to resonate with that so many mums out there are going to resonate with the loneliness the anxiety the baby blues that comes with being a new mum And dads as well. I know that I'm constantly thinking about how I'm going to feel after my wife Sophie gives birth. One of the big things that I picked up from the episode was the inner confidence. We all suffer with confidence the whole time. We're constantly worried what people are thinking about us, how we're going to represent ourselves, whether we can achieve something, and we all suffer with it.

1:17:09And I really hope that a lot of you resonate with Dani, who you may see Dani on the TV or on social media and think she's such a confident person. But underneath it all, we realize that we all have the same worries and concerns and insecurities and anxieties. And I hope you feel comfort in that. I really hope you enjoyed this episode. If you haven't subscribed to our show already, please do. It's completely for free. And if you like the content, it will do us wonders. And we cannot wait to see you next week for another episode. See you then.

1:17:48Thank you.