EKIN-SU: I KEPT THE REAL ME LOCKED UP

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2:12Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie Lang, and this is Great Company.

2:21Well, hello, Jemima. Hello, Jamie Ling. You are the producer of this show. And you are the presenter of this show. That's very true. How are you today? I'm well. I'm very well. You are well. The sun's been shining. It has. I can feel the breath of summer on the back of my neck. What's that feel like? Hot and sticky? No, just a bit like, ooh. Ooh. That's not quite winter. That's more spring. Maybe it's the breath of spring. Maybe it's the breath of spring. Might be a bit premature for the summer's breath. What is your favourite month or favourite season? Honestly, I can find a reason why I like all of them.

2:59No. But I will say... You like it? No, no, no. I'm going to have this on record. I hate March. Your March is not a good one. I'm sorry, March is my least favourite month. Kind of with you on that. March... I'm indifferent. Just take me straight to April. I'm not a big fan of March, and I'm not a huge fan of, I mean, October, I'm not. Excuse me, that's my birthday. That's your wife's birthday. I don't like, so I would take January over March any day. Yeah, yeah, I'd take January. January knows what it is. Yeah. Dark, it's kind of cosy. Yeah. March, you're like, fucking hell. Yeah, what the hell is this?

3:38It's spring. Don't love August either. I love August. August is just a big old Sunday. It is a big old Sunday. That is so true. That's so interesting. I read that somewhere. I was like, that is the perfect discussion. August is a big old Sunday. Speaking of Sundays and speaking of March, we are here to cheer you up though because we have an amazing podcast today with the lovely... Ekinsu. Ekinsu. If you don't know who Ekinsu is, Ekinsu appeared on Love Island. She's appeared on The Traitors in the US. She's appeared on the recent series of Love Island All-Stars and she also did Big Brother. She is a sort of cult figure within that Love Island tribe.

4:11She's one of the greatest contestants there has been. but as much as she's been loved and she's had so many amazing things she's also had some tough times in Big Brother she had a really tough time where people thought she was fake and she was booed and she had a really terrible time with it she's very open with all of her emotions and feelings she had a public relationship that didn't end too well that must be so I mean you've experienced that it must be so hard having a breakdown not as big as that you meet these people on Love Island and they fall in love and so you kind of represent them together.

4:44And so then you become matched. And are you as strong without each other? So then lots of that plays into your mind. That must just be such a difficult thing. It's heavy. So I'm really excited to come on. She doesn't do that many podcasts from what we understand. So are you ready for this? I'm so excited. A lot of people are coming to the office today in the hope of getting a little glance, glimpse of Ekansu. She's pretty iconic. Yeah, she is iconic. And I think she's going to go on to do amazing things. If you haven't subscribed to our show already, please do just click that subscribe button and you can check out our social media channels at Great Company Podcasts on TikTok and Instagram.

5:22And of course, we're on YouTube. Are you ready for this? I sure am. Okay, enjoy this episode of Great Company with Ekansu. Hi, I'm Ekansu and I'm in Great Company.

5:35At the time, I was working in finance. Actually, weirdly, don't ask why. Yeah, tax return. and did you enjoy that? I enjoyed Fridays because Fridays was the day when we'd finish early and go to the pub with all the other old people in the office and talk about tax but yeah you know I was always I was always the one in the office that all the men did fancy I'm not going to lie any office romances? a few but we're not going to talk about the names

6:11A few, a few Really? Yeah Kissing in the office? Yeah One One? No, two, I lie Two But we're not going to name who they were But yeah, I mean, listen I was living the life at the time Of course you were You know When you're working in an office Where do you go and kiss? So there was a staircase, right? That there was no cameras on And after when everyone disappears and goes home, it was around five, six o 'clock, we went for drinks, all of us. And I said to him, well, let's go back to the office. And there was this one room where the staircases were that goes up and down the whole building. And just there, you know, casually just kissing the guy on the stairway.

6:55Got a bit heated, but then I thought, right, this is going to get me in trouble. I could be fired if anyone catches us. But listen, a man in a suit working in finance. Yeah. Yeah. Back in the day. And there's a song about it, isn't it? Six foot, was it three or two? Blue eyes. Six foot five blue eyes finance. There you go. That is naughty. I said that's so weird. That just icked me out. That is naughty. I've never changed, Jamie. I've always been like that. A hundred percent. So when you saw that heart rate challenge on Love Island, that is the PG version of that, guys. What? Should have seen it in person.

7:29It was mad. Are you serious? Yeah. It's great. It's confidence and I love it. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. Do what I am If Curtis said, will you marry me? What, now? Now, yeah. If Curtis came bursting through here and this was all a set-up and it was actually just fake and he did it, he asked me to set up your... Why do I feel like this is real and I'm getting excited? Curtis, come in. You actually look... No, I've got goosebumps. bumps um no i'm a lover girl so i need to relax but would you say yes i feel like there's no time frame for this you know if someone is the one and you feel like that is your person then yeah what's the worst that can happen you're gonna get divorced exactly you're not gonna die are you that's a great way to look at life yeah i like that i have one of my great uh one of my best girlfriends she was best woman at my um wedding she called georgie her parents they met and then three weeks later they got engaged and they've been together for 40 odd years.

8:35There you go. That is true love there, Jamie. That is true. And it exists. Do you believe in it? Do you know what? I do. And I feel like there's always that negative 60 % of the public that go, oh, it doesn't exist. You know, we've got Tinder and all these apps and Instagram. Yes, that's true. But I feel like you can definitely still fall in love more than once, more than twice. I have six times I've been in love. Six? Six times. I think I've been in love It does happen and that's okay You have to allow it as well Yeah And you can't let these outsider voices like Make your dream become ordinary Do you know what I mean?

9:11There's always outside noises telling you it doesn't exist Or it's just lust or Or it's a six month relationship Or this person's better looking It's like meh So what do you like when you're in love? I love how I feel when I'm in love as well Give it to me, explain it to me I've been in love six times, right Jamie? and the six men that have been in my life have all made me feel a different way. One particularly was very toxic. One was average, one very good. But I noticed right now I'm the best version of myself, which means I'm in a healthy relationship. When you love yourself, you can love someone and give them 100 % of yourself.

9:49So I feel like different people bring out different sides of you. It's just how I've seen it. I think you're totally right. So when you're saying with Curtis at the moment that you're the best version of yourself How do you know you're the best version of yourself? What does that make you feel? Do you know how I know? It's when you know that you're not walking on eggshells every morning And you know that you can just be this thing that you are, this quirkiness without feeling judged Or without feeling like you have to be something else that you're not I just feel me And I couldn't care what anyone thinks And that's when you know and you feel happy every single day Even when things go wrong, you're like, you know what?

10:25I'm still happy I've not felt that in years Jamie like have you not no no I've been kind of like covering my my happiness a little bit with you know in the industry you have to always put on a front and you have to always come and be like professional and you know when you've been with the wrong person in the past you lose yourself yeah you do and and it's funny you say that because then you don't realize you're losing yourself until you you come back out and then suddenly you start smelling things and seeing things you go wait oh the sky is blue the sun it's is it yellow or orange i don't know but you know name it what you want isn't that crazy that happens yeah so talk me through your first love then when when did you first fall in love so when i fell when i first fell in love he actually looks like curtis the guy fell in love he was called george jones and we met at university he was a golfer he was a northern boy from cheshire yeah but went to uni up north and um very speaks like my curtis as well it's really weird and um i was so in love with him i thought i was going to marry him i was obsessed with him i you know at the time you lose your um it was to him so it was age age 19 talking about your virginity yeah I don't know if we're allowed to talk about these things You can talk about anything you want So you lost your To him To George Jones He's now married with a kid God bless them I was just so My whole life was him at uni for the first year Until Until I experienced the feeling of Betrayal It was new to me and I didn't know how to react or what to do but I remember it was like the world collapsed.

12:13You know, your first heartbreak. Took me two years to get over the guy, but... When someone... When you feel betrayal for the first time and you don't know how to... Because you don't understand how to handle love. You don't... These emotions are all coming in. How do you handle that? I think fairy tales and, you know, when you're young Cinderella and all these, like, stories we've been fed of what love is, the prince coming in on a white horse. I thought that was love when I was young but now it's that's just a fairy tale it's not non-existent let's be real there's cheating there's affairs there's lying there's the world is a dark place and I feel like love is what you make of it you know there's no such thing as this is what love is and everyone should feel that way it comes in different shapes and sizes and how you feel and how it makes you feel and I always felt like back then love for me was more like a yeah it was a fair it was like a movie i exaggerated my boyfriend at the time what examples of love did you have throughout your life i had were your parents madly in love my parents were madly in love but unfortunately a divorce now it happens doesn't it oh i'm sorry to hear about that i'm sorry but it's so common now right isn't it but um they were very in love and um my dad did art and acting at uni, my mum studied French and they both met together at university.

13:40They were really both performative people and artistic people. My dad used to paint my mum naked. Yeah, that's how romantic they were. There's pictures of my mum fully. That's beautiful. Yeah. I mean, it was a bit disturbing when I saw it and I was like, four, these paintings of my mum, but it kind of traumatised me. But no, they were very, very passionate. And then obviously you know sometimes you can fall out in love out of love and that's what happened when i was 21 they divorced and had my brother me and my brother have 10 years between us so i was 10 years old when my mom was born pregnant my brother yeah i'm speaking so fast so much to talk about no it's fine don't worry i love it i love it by the way i'm loving every single second but yeah so so so your parents got divorced when you were 21 but until then they were just madly love so and it really taught you then what love probably is 100 um you know my mom and dad were always very respectful towards each other and um obviously there was always arguing that's normal my mom always says she's a psychologist she says if there's no arguments in the relationship it's not healthy really there has to be arguments to keep the fire because if your relationship's always monotone then there's something a bit off there that's interesting because my parents never argued and they got divorced yeah but but they but they are my mom always says because they never argued they never they never on they never hashed things out that's the one yeah they never spoke about things they just basically it became let it go then maybe let it go of things in relation it's hard right people do different things if you don't argue about them or whatever then you you hold them hold them hold them hold them and it becomes bigger when you were 21 and your parents divorced.

15:18Did that hit you hard? Yeah. I think I had to be like a, I had to be the strong one in the family because my brother was so young and I had to be sort of like pretending like everything's fine. But I didn't want my brother to be traumatized from it. I knew I'd be fine, but I was protecting my little brother from that. You know, we went through everything at the time, but I had to tell my brother, this is life. That's still your mum. That's still your dad. Like, It's never going to change. They both love you. They both love us. But they are happy on their own this way. And it's okay if mum meets someone else.

15:55It's okay if dad meets someone else. But they're still our parents. That's never going to change. And I think that helped my little brother, Arda, realize that it's actually okay and it's common for people to divorce. It's just a part of life. It doesn't mean anything. No. It goes back to what you said at the beginning that actually if you marry someone, you get divorced. It's only divorce. But divorce feels like a lot of weight, though. sometimes. I don't know why it does. It feels... The word divorce sounds awful. You know, some words just are what it sounds like. Yeah. I think... Like death begins with D.

16:29Do you know what I mean? Divorce. Why is it so dark? D, dark. Are we onto something here? I don't know. Maybe we're not. Maybe we are. Who knows? And look, it's hard to talk about parents, right? Because I know how tricky it is and stuff like that. But did the divorce feel like a bit of betrayal or no? It did, I guess, but I never knew that until a few years later because it came out in my relationships. I guess it affected the way I was with men. And I feel like because they divorced, I felt like I wanted my family to be the happily ever after. But then I think when you have your boyfriend and you break up with your own partner, it almost becomes normal it's like oh we're breaking up well it was fine because my mom and dad's divorced so you kind of think that's a normal thing but yeah it did feel like betrayal and I had to um be strong and pretend it didn't for a few years just to protect my my brother it's funny you say that because um I spoke to a great friend of mine whose parents are together and she was saying divorce is the last thing it's it's the last thing you ever do and I think for you and I or for people potentially who've been through divorce you're like oh it's just divorce it's kind of a flippant thing almost that's thrown around oh you can just get divorced yeah but actually it sort of shouldn't be marriage and relations should be sacred you should try and fight for it you shouldn't just break up you shouldn't have divorces you should fight for that 100 % and I think it's easier nowadays to to not work on things we think the grass is always greener on the other side that's the thing of society we always think that and then we don't realize what we have if we water the plant you know it's going to grow but instead we go well that plant's a bit rusty now it's a bit dead got dead leaves let's go and go to another florist and pick up this new plant that needs watering no no stay there and work on it i want to go right back to the beginning with you okay um so what was akinsu like when you were growing up who was she what was she doing what was she loving um i was always a performer Jamie um I used to really yeah there's like cassette cassette tape yeah yeah yeah cassettes back in the day where my dad would film me and I used to be like different characters when I was like 10 and make up a script and perform in the living room really weird I used to like be different characters I used to be three people in one play and perform to my family crazy um I used to yeah though it's it's it's crazy yeah and um i used to always pretend i was in a music video like i'd put a song on and and and i'd pretend i'm being filmed in the music video just weird what songs would you be playing just like you know titanic my heart will always go on you know what was it about that what was it about that industry what was about performing that you loved so much as a kid um i think i just enjoyed the not normal life like i liked being someone else i liked sort of i didn't like just being normal i wanted to experience different emotions and understand different people's minds like when i grew up i wanted to like really study about like for instance serial killers it's quite fucked up but why is that person a serial killer let's go into their mind what trauma have they been through can I experience that too can I act a serial killer probably not but I'm going to try not in real life guys but like the role of it like it's just interesting I feel like being a happy girl next door is boring it is I want to feel something I want to be affected by something.

20:12So, okay, so you're growing up and you grew up in Islington, right? Yes. And then you moved to Essex. Essex when I was 10. Okay. And then what was that like growing up there? What was school like? This is when things changed. I went in very, year six I went into, I remember having a very long skirt in primary school. My name was very obviously foreign at the time, mech ensued jill jill all the very long and it was a very sort of like it wasn't a multicultural school because when i went to school in tottenham it was you know different you know backgrounds and stuff so i went from that to going to literally me and everyone basically i felt like an alien and almost like i had i had quite hairy legs at the time you're only young you're a child and then you had all the other girls of prada bags and prada shoes and fake tan and mascara on and i'm I'm like, wow, I idolized that, but I was never fitting in that.

21:12I was kind of the dork, I guess, teacher's pet at school. I loved the teachers. And I used to eat my school lunch in the toilets a lot. Then the extreme bullying happened from year seven to year nine. How old were you at that point? 12, 13. I was quite big when I was in year seven, chubby. Got pushed down the stairs, being caught. fat being called ugly racism um yeah had a quite a tough time at school i'm sorry that's it's just it's yeah i i chatted to um luke evans the actor amazing so he yeah he's amazing he grew up in wales and he was really badly bullied and he said he had a mentality though he said um he he knew it was going to end he said if i get through school it's going to stop.

22:07It's going to be okay. I'm just going to get through this. And I said, that's a unique way. Because lots of people don't have that. When you're in the thick of it like that, you're in the tornado. Yeah. It's hard. You think that your life's going to end. You think, this is what I deserve. Until I fancied a guy at school who wouldn't even look at me. And I thought, you know what? I'm a bit fat here. I need to lose weight. So I Googled how to lose weight. Some stupid diet came up called the green apple diet, right? You're young. You're a kid at this point how you know morning afternoon night i was just munching on this apple and skipping rope are you serious yeah i obviously couldn't afford a gym at the time you were a child but like didn't have iphones then oh did we can't remember and um yeah and i lost weight and all of a sudden people started looking at me and and fancying me and then i did the beauty pageant after that which was wild because i was like 17 going to south korea i know to compete wait wait wait wait whoa whoa whoa hang on a second so much to say wait oh my god this is so you're at school you're having this really tricky time you're saying there's racism you're being pushed down the stairs are you telling your parents about that no you're not because my mum was pregnant to my brother at the time I didn't want to stress them out so you internalised everything yeah and actually my best friend funny enough was chocolate I used to eat a lot as comfort I would snack a lot because I felt happiness and comforting.

23:38It was like a weird bond we had. What does that do to you as a young person? Because I know so many people will be listening to this episode and so many people you inspire and they love. And the fact that you're able to talk about that and say, I went through this really shit time. People go, God, that's what's happening to me right now. What would you say to someone listening who's going through something like that? I would say, please speak to someone. whether that's a teacher a friend or someone don't bottle it in and I would definitely say that it's going to make you a stronger person and those bullies at school are going to end up below you because that is what happened and I'm going to definitely say that it's going to pass and never hold everything in and if anyone needs help seek help therapy whatever it needs even if you're you know young person there's always help out there free help there's loads of websites that you can talk to someone too have you ever seen any of the bullies again yeah oh 100 i didn't even they didn't even deserve my my uh blink i saw them on the high street one of them looked absolutely ridiculous honestly like literally did this i was like and one of them was like can i have a picture of you i went do i know you oh you're the you're that guy from school and i just passed and i walked off and I was like yeah it was the best feeling ever Jamie it was when I won Love Island 2022 and uh felt good I um I chatted to and I'm sure she won't mind me say Scarlett Moffat okay who's amazing and I haven't seen in a few years but I was friendly with her and she said one of the most empowering moments for her ever she was in a supermarket and she saw one of her bullies and she and she went straight back into being this little girl like scared like oh my god freaking out oh my god there she is and the bully ran up to her and she was with her daughter and she said oh my god scarlet i haven't seen you since school you're doing so well all these kind of things yeah and she said oh i've been telling my little daughter how we were best friends at school and scarlet said she said oh can i have a photo she said um i want to say one thing to you i hope your little girl never goes through what you made me feel at school.

25:53And she dropped her basket and walked out the supermarket and she had never felt more alive that she had confronted her bully. Yeah. Unbelievable. That's giving me goosebumps. Good for her for saying that. Yeah, because it is. Brilliant. That's all you need to say and walk off. Because I think this, especially with something like bullying, it's such a, firstly, it's so awful. It's horrendous to do that to people. It's such a short-term sort of thing to do to someone. People don't realise that in later life you're going to see each other or walk past each other. The world is small. The world is small.

26:24It's so small. And be nice to everyone on the way out because you never know who you meet on the way down. Never, ever step on the little people. Never be rude. Never bully. Never do anything like that because you'll meet them in the future. And like you did, you'll flick your hair and walk on. Exactly. And do you know what, Jamie? I never understand bullying at a young age. I understand bullies as an adult. I feel like it's a reflection of who they are because they hate themselves. They want to make you feel bad. But I feel like when you're young, when you're not fully developed, how are you a...

26:48I don't understand what goes through that child's mind. How can you be nasty to someone? Is it bad parenting? Is that a question? Do you know what I mean? I've always thought about it. I think it's probably they are making themselves feel better. So they've probably gone through some sort of trauma. 100%. Or something like that. That's what I think. How do you stop the bullying? You can't. This is the sad thing. you can change and you can control yourself in the situation because bullying happens even now right it happens in everyday work there's always a manager or a boss or a colleague that just doesn't like you but you just have to accept it and when you know that that's life you can move on even now there's probably people hate me for no reason that's fine hate is an emotion you've got to worry when no one has no feelings towards you jamie come on come on there we go okay so So you then go on this diet, you start eating apples, you're skipping.

27:47Guys, kids, do not do this at home. It's not advised. Very unhealthy. Yeah. And I suppose that maybe came, and I don't want to put words in your mouth, but it probably became a bit of an obsession, maybe. Oh, 100%. And that's when I started to become obsessed with what I looked like. So it was like, okay, what is the meaning of beauty? Okay, it must be the way I look. Actually, it's internal. It's about how you are, your soul. but I learned that later on in life. So these pageants I did were very all about what you look like. The perfect person, beauty, very wrong message by the way. But when you're young, unfortunately I got influenced by that.

28:27So you saw this pageant, you thought this is what I want to do. Because I thought I needed the confidence where I lost it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I didn't know who I was, but I liked the attention I got. So let me go into this and then somehow won the pageant in England and then went to South Korea for Miss Asia Pacific, 2020, 12, and became 15th out of 75 countries, represented Ireland, although I'm not Irish. I don't know why I did that because I had to represent something from the UK, which is Northern Ireland. Yeah. Interesting times. And so you represented... Miss Ireland. I don't even look Irish, but...

29:09don't oh no i'm really there's two things here i would say firstly um it's it's very entrepreneurial of you in certain ways because you knew what you wanted to get we all lie about different things not really lying you just knew what you wanted to get but also you're going into this it's also about competition and it's about holding yourself that demands a lot of confidence yes so going from someone who was lacking that confidence to then getting confidence to go and do that that's a massive shift it is and I don't understand how that happened it was like almost like I wanted to compete I wanted to be better so I was like you know there was a talent show in actually one of the pageants and I was singing in it so all of a sudden this confidence came out and my performative side again came out and that's when I think confidence happened such a young age and it went on forever almost like I've done the bullies if I can do the bullies come at me what's the worst that can happen in life really i've had hate i've had bullying just love life you know it's amazing it is mad but i prefer being real i prefer you know this the mind being the heart being beautiful than focusing on the the look i feel like it's hard though right it is hard it is so hard it's really hard it takes time it takes a lot of time because it's and that's such a great message to because we live in this world because of social media and what we look like and things like that that we kind of forget that actually it does come from the inside and all of the outer shell doesn't matter anyone can be beautiful jamie anyone there's loads of people that are handsome beautiful there's someone better looking than you better like it's okay but there's only one of you but how do you change that and be honest because that takes that is a lot of unlearning to do yeah yeah and that's hard really hard especially as we're talking about the industry that we're in especially being a woman in the industry so how does that change when does that change for you and be totally be totally honest with that change for me it changes for me when you hit rock bottom and you realize how there was a moment in my life I was very depressed and I just looked at myself and I was like I looked at Instagram and I was like oh it just seemed really something didn't feel right it looked like an illusion I felt like I was in a video game like what what is this we We take a picture, we put it on Instagram, we wait for people to like it.

31:29We edit our pictures. Why? I went to a walk in a park after and I took off my shoes and I walked barefoot on the grass. I sat there, closed my phone, just meditating. And I was like, and I went back to like, it was really weird, but where we came from, Adam and Eve, like for instance, we're humans. Like this social media is all new. It's toxic. It's not natural. We're all living a lie, I feel like. It is. How do you know this Instagram is what is right? It's not. Living in the moment, realizing what's important, family, morals, happiness, being healthy. We're breathing right now. There's people in hospital that cannot breathe.

32:12They've broken a leg or an arm. We still are here right now. But then there's someone that's moaning about the weather being rainy. Do you get it? It takes time. There was a big moment for me, which I had, which is my mum sent me an article once. And she said, and I was going through a really tricky time. Sorry to hear about that. No, it's okay. I went through a tricky time in my 20s, I just did. And because I didn't really understand myself. And it was just interesting. Oh my God. Is that when you were like the maiden? That was maiden Chelsea time. Maiden Chelsea time for me was amazing. By the way, I loved you on there.

32:45Oh, thank you so much. You and Spencer were my favorites. We had an unbelievably fun time. I'm fancying him, by the way. Yeah, a lot of people did. Sorry. But I was, I had, we all, to be honest, had a really tricky time because we didn't really understand ourselves. And I went through a really big batch of anxiety and things like that. And my mum sent me an article and said, you should read this article. And I said, okay, I'll read it. So you've never striped me if someone that would have gone through anxiety because you are so... I went through terrible. Did you? Crippling. Crippling. I like crippling.

33:17But I never told anyone. I didn't tell anyone. I just kept it inside just never told anyone never spoke about it didn't want to speak about it so I didn't until I spoke to a friend of mine and then it kind of came out but my mum sent me an article about this woman who she was a horse rider she was amazing she was an athlete and she was walking outside her front door and she slipped on some ice and she broke her neck and she could never walk again she was paralyzed from the neck down and she sent this article this woman had written in hospital and the article was amazing quite uplifting in so many ways but the main point was this is that she said when I could walk and I could move and I could do those things I cared about what my legs looked like and I cared if they were fat or if they were too thin or they were this or they were that and now I just wish I had legs you see and and it for me it was a turning point where I went what am I exactly worrying about this nonsense that's going on what this person I've got great friends I've got a great family I've I'm so lucky you got a roof over your head.

34:15I've got to move over your head. Yeah, like, it's true. And I feel like until you see that or you've experienced it, you will never know. Like, until you, like you've experienced that moment. Yeah. Or you've sort of, someone's told you it, it clicks. You said you were feeling really good in yourself right now. Yeah. You look amazing, by the way. Thank you. Very kind of you. And I, I'm going to be totally honest with you. I hadn't watched any of the All Star Love Islands. And then this one had me ripped It was unbelievable It's actually some of the best TV I think I've ever seen Really? Oh, I'm so happy you watched it Just brought joy into the household It was just amazing You said you're feeling good to yourself right now What have you been feeling the last few years?

35:05Very good question And try and be as honest as you can I'm going to be really honest Okay In the last especially two years, I felt like I was a product, a brand of Ekansu. And I felt like there was a lot of, it was like there was a heavy weight here, full, like kept of the reality of my relationship, how I felt, who I was locked up. So it was almost like a, imagine like a migraine hitting your brain all the time, but you have to numb it all the time by practicing and kind of in interviews and putting on a smile and it felt so draining. I was drained for two years that I never made the most of the moments I was in.

35:51I never went out. I never socialized. I had no confidence much. I was very defensive as well. If you've seen like Prince's big brother, completely defensive. Like I look at myself now, I'm like, who was that person? Oh, it was a person that was broken. It was a person that was in a, in a traumatic relationship. But again, I was lying to everyone. I didn't tell the truth of why I felt that way. I was like, yeah, we're fine. We broke up. But really there was so much more to it that I had to live with that affected me for a good time. Do you think you, it's funny, it's a protective mechanism, isn't it?

36:28When you go through something like that and you're right, when people become defensive, there's normally something going on behind. 100%. It's tough. It's hard. No one really understands it as well. They're like, oh, this person's being rude. It's like, no, this person's going through something. We're human. No one's always perfect. You know what I mean? I think, and I don't want to generalize here, but I am going to, so I apologize. I think it's much harder for women in the industry. It is. Okay, good. I agree. It really is. I don't want to be sexist, but it is. I see it with Sophie, my wife.

37:04Like, honestly, okay, let's take the Brits, for example. I can just turn up to the Brits. I wear a suit and it's all fine. Sophie has to go through this glam. She has to get up there. She'll photos. It's like a lot. It's a lot going on. It's a lot of pressure. To look the certain way, to be a certain way, to hold a certain way. And I feel like as well in the media, when a woman does something wrong, I feel like we get a lot more scrutinized for it. I feel like, you know, when you have to be more careful. but you know I feel like when men do something I feel like if it is for instance they get caught doing something illegal I feel like they can still carry on working but if it was to be a woman I feel like their whole life is over they're deleted out the industry why can't we make mistakes too you know what I mean it should be equal but by the way Sophie looks amazing just all the time so shout out to her glam team you hit rock bottom what was that moment when were you where were you what was happening uh it was a few times actually it was after i broke up with my ex because it was very hard to break up with my ex at the time because you still love i still loved him is this david yeah and um i didn't speak about it my family knew but i didn't speak about it buried that in me then i went on to well i did the traitor's us and then i flew from LA to the Big Brother house.

38:26Wrong show, wrong time, you know. I was gone at the time mentally. I don't think I was myself. Came back from Big Brother. Obviously, there was a lot of hate going on. It was a very low point. I felt, because I already felt worthless going in the house, coming out to a lot of hate and death threats and people saying, you know, like, you don't deserve to be alive. I'm going to come and find you and kill you. Like, all these really nasty of things like you should be ashamed to be who you are you deserve to be bullied it is triggering it triggers things and I was in my flat and I was just sitting on the floor and I just burst into tears for a good three hours just crying and I just I just felt like I didn't know I was like touching myself thinking is this real am I is is this fake like it was a really weird mind thing I was going through felt like this whole thing wasn't real it's disassociation yeah and I and I just felt like what happens if I just went away like surely that would be a good thing maybe I'd you know I had just weird things going through my head but then I remember having this phone call and someone said I can please speak to the therapist I'm shaking talking about it but uh I said no and they were like no you need to speak to a therapist I don't think you're okay you've not left your flat you're not eating you're not you're not yourself I had my therapy session and after that one session I kind of they were like right you need you need to take yourself away for a week self-care you need to switch off your phone and realize that I can you're you haven't done anything wrong.

40:07Like the feeling is temporary. It's not real. This depression, it's not real. It's not who you are. It took me a while to get out of it. The therapist recommended I speak the truth because if you don't tell the truth, then you'll always have that anxiety in you. So I eventually did. And that felt like a weight off my shoulders. But it's hard because people look at you, Jamie, especially in the industry and think you're this amazing person. You have everything that's going for you. But is that the reality of it? It's not. Very brave of you. We're all human. It's really brave of you to talk about it though as well.

40:43Because especially when you're in that place. It's horrible. It's awful. I never thought I'd be in that place. I always thought, oh my God, like when people feel this low, surely they can get back up. Until it happens to you, it is a very dark place and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Anyone. whoever you are, you know. It is triggering though, because when you go into something like Big Brother and then you come out and you haven't been yourself, as you said, and I can really feel it on you that you're being so honest about it. You're just saying you're not yourself and you did this experience and it was so hard.

41:20And when people are booing you for someone that you know that's not you, that's a really hard thing to deal with. it was that's when I actually believed it I believed that I deserved the booing and it took me a while to even do Love Island or Stars, I was very 50-50 on it you know, after you've just done a show, that was my last show I was like so I just took the sort of risk and thought you know what, just do it go back to something that you were from, that you were yourself on so when and I don't and you don't have to when you get that low and you're having those thoughts um that you don't want to be here did you speak to your parents or anyone no no no one uh just the therapist because I couldn't even when I was having my session with her I I couldn't say I didn't want to be here but I think she gathered from how I was saying it was quite worrying yeah you know have you spoken to your parents since about it yeah 100 % and uh yeah they were they were obviously worried about me even doing big um love island or stars mental can she take it will she be okay yeah i feel like if you don't hit rock bottom in life and you can't get back up you'll always be that low i think when you can get back up especially when you've been through your anxieties as well.

42:54Like, it does make you a stronger person. You know what the lows feel like. Do you know what I mean? Totally. So when you know what that feels like, you actually, you try not to get there again.

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44:42Beloved on All-Stars, Curtis and you were amazing. the crawling on the floor scene for the heart beat challenge my lord that was one of the greatest seats i've ever seen i needed shin pads i'm old now back in 2022 i could crawl easily should have worn them but yeah i had a few cuts on my legs but listen so did curtis listen i'm a very passionate woman and if no one was on that fire pit if there was no cameras i would have done on a Fifty Shades of Grey scene. But, you know, it's what it is. Heck, and I love it! Because you're confident in yourself, right? Listen, I don't care. It's a game, whatever challenge.

45:29You know, the Elmer thing was carried on for days. But, listen, I live in the moment. I let my hair down. I don't care. I'm having fun, whether it's a show or not. It's who I am. I'll do it in private too, you know? Curtis, after that little challenge, must have been, Literally on heat. Well, I wanted to go in the hideaway that night and they wouldn't let us. But listen, we were very, very, what's the word? Respectful. Respectfully, we were frustrated, both of us. And it was like, we just wanted to get out because, honey, I would not be doing anything in there because it was just. I get that. Come on, you can hear the cameras zooming into you and stuff, you know.

46:07But then can I ask you, sorry, this is getting so personal. but I need to ask you. But then when you leave, what happens then? All I can say is 10 seconds.

46:21Maybe five, but yeah. Not for you, I imagine. No, not for me. I could go for hours, but you know. Cheers to that. H2O. No one thought we'd be, like... No ways. So let me tell you a secret, right? Okay, go. You know I might as well say something So The week before I went in Was in South Africa The week the holding So the producer The producers came in And visited each one of us In our holding With our chaperone So the producer went to me Went How you feeling You know You're going to go in night one I was like Yeah I'm excited And I went to him Are you sure There's someone in there for me Because You know It's quite a risk I'm going back in You didn't know anyone You didn't know I didn't know who They were Okay One thing he said to me Was like I can't speak to every single guy get to know them there's one person in there we think that is going to be a perfect match but it's not your type i was like huh and the night i walked in i was looking at him i was thinking who are they talking about because i was attracted to curtis do you know what i mean good looking guy like when i saw him very tall yeah and charismatic and i was thinking well he's my type because i'm attracted so i'm looking at but then i spoke to everyone i thought hang on I'm really like getting a vibe from I'm really getting along with Curtis like he's bringing out such a unique side to me I couldn't stop being around him and then actually I realized we spoke now that was that that's what he meant all along what do you think what do you think it worked because you said that the Love Island crew kind of knew they knew what do you think why does it fit with you two everything is very similar the way we think is very similar the way we act is very similar the way we we bounce off each other's humour it's weird I can't I can't I don't feel judged by Curtis you know what I mean you know sometimes you feel a bit judged by your partner when you say things he hypes me up all the time when I say quirky things I just find him really attractive as well I don't know what it is yeah that's a big thing it's when you unexpectedly I'm shocked that I actually found someone again it's a bonus you know Did you think you wouldn't for a long time?

48:34Yeah. God, yeah. You know, when you've been hurt and broken, you can't trust again. It takes time. And also, by the way, I think it's funny with TV shows like this is that when Sophie and I met on our TV show. Oh, you did, didn't you? Yeah, we met on the TV show. And I had made a promise to myself that I would never fall in love properly. And I never really did. And that's probably why I was a bit promiscuous and things like that. But when we then started dating properly And then when we got engaged I didn't want that to be my story I didn't want to be like Oh, we met on a TV show I thought that was lame So I used to almost lie about it I used to say that we had met before I love that And then actually now I embrace it Because people meet at work They meet in the street Meeting in an intense environment like that Is actually an amazing way to meet And it's forever on TV And then you can watch it back.

49:30I'm sorry, which lucky couple has that? You're lucky. You know what I mean? It's amazing. It's rare. Why did you decide to go back in? Because I come from reality and whatever anyone says, you know, the world is, there's sort of this. By the way, you smashed it, by the way. You've done so well, Jamie. I look up to you, man. You've done so well. I think you've, listen, straight back out. I think you are beyond, I really do i really do um but i you know and i i understand it because we get boxed in yeah and there are there's a weird tier system which you kind of go and i sort of see it in myself so if i'm totally honest uh when tiktok started and things like that and you saw these tiktok stars coming up i was like well they're not is that talent yeah is that like what is that what is that yeah but it is and content creating is a huge talent i can't do it knowing what you're like knowing how driven you are, then why would you feel like going back into doing something that may box you in too much into the reality TV place?

50:29So I said to myself, I'm not going to do reality TV after Big Brother ever again. I was like, I'm not doing it again. I was very like, no, I'm not going to go, but I would never do Love Island. But actually, I was only saying that because Love Island reminds me of my ex. So it was defensive because of that. No one understood that. So when I went back in, they were like, but she said she would never do Love Island again. Yeah, it's because I didn't want to be reminded of my ex because I was in pain, not because I was against the show. And the reason I wanted to go back onto All Stars is because I felt like I want to rewrite my love story.

50:58I said I wanted to go have fun and let all this barriers down. Okay? Stop being so scared of TV again. Go back to something and take a risk. Like, what's going to happen again? The worse, you're going to get dumped. I've done that. I've experienced my lows. It's only onwards and upwards from here. and look I met someone so I'm so grateful and I always say just because you want a show doesn't make you any better than anyone else you can always go back because there's always a thing well she won the show she's done this you can go back we're all we all came from the same show we're all born from love island doesn't matter if you're a Molly May or it doesn't matter you can go back you were really I know this is separate now but you were really in love with your ex I can hear it because you wouldn't even want to go back and show because it reminded you so much and i just think sometimes people doubt people on shows if they fall in love or not they do and and it's normal because it's tv so people are always that real give it a month or give it the copy there's a contract thing that people talk about isn't there there's no contract i'm sorry what what is this contract thing people say i've not signed a disclosure about all in the years i'm going to break up my my partner that's just what people say and even in real life jamie whether you're in the public eye or not relationships don't always work but because you're not in the public eye it's not been spoken about it's not a big deal it's easy to amplify something when you're on a show and people have followed your journey it's like oh they didn't last well they did last it just didn't work out when you go through a breakup how do you deal with it I definitely don't go under someone to get over someone I I I Watch YouTube videos about how to get over a man

52:52Cringe Yeah I read books I What did they say? Just things like you know Time Is a healer And you need to do things you love Hobbies spend time with friends, family, people that love you and it's okay to cry it's okay to grieve, it's okay to miss but understand that you can't change things and what is broken once won't be fixed Because of the Big Brother experience and the things you had there and people you know you've admitted that but I think people wrongly saying you were fake and things like this going back into a show like that were you nervous to see the outcome because you don't have access to social media.

53:35You don't know what's going on. Your brain must have been playing tricks on you. Oh, it did. I was very nervous. I had, so me and Curtis will have private chats sometimes, like at night, under the sheets. And actually, the first time Curtis ever told me he had feelings for me was under the sheets. Not on camera, which felt real to me. That's when I said to mum a bit anxious. I said, I had, this talk's on camera too, actually. and I spoke to the psych in Love Island and I said, I feel really anxious. I feel really not. Because at the time, there was a lot of things going on with the whole Elmer thing.

54:09I felt like I was in the wrong for a while. So I said, am I a bad person? I was thinking, am I a bad person? I just felt guilty because I thought I deserved that. So in my head, I was like, I'm scared to get out of here, Kurt. I'm scared. Am I going to be okay? And he was like, Ekin, stop overthinking. You're an overthinker. You're here now. You wouldn't be this far if people didn't love you. He kept saying that to me, reminding me of who I was. You're Ekansu. Forget Big Brother. Forget Davide. Remember who you are. And I think that really helped me.

54:49How was acting for you? So acting, did a degree in at a university. And finished finance, broke up with a boyfriend. And I was like, you know what? The boyfriend cheated. Yes. And then I thought to myself, you know what, I'm going to go to Turkey, where I'm from, get on my flight. I went to watch this theatre performance, Jamie, right? And this is when everything changed. I was sitting there front row watching it, beautiful performance. And then the director of the play saw me and went, can you come to the back dressing room? And I went, me? God, is he going to do something to me? I thought, I got scared.

55:22Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm on my own here. It's quite weird, that. My life is weird, Jamie. I think it's so weird. Nothing is normal in my life. and give it to me all give it to me all so he brings you backstage he brings us backstage I go to the you know he's an older man you know I'm going in the mirrors and stuff you know all the people on the play were there and he goes to me do you want to be in the play and I go to him huh like literally I was like huh literally my reaction was what he went you can be in my play starting next week and I went do you even like he didn't ask me who I was if I'm an actor nothing nothing nothing I said to him, is this real?

56:01I had to fly back to England. He went, it's fine. We'll sort, you know, make sure you stay here for six months. And I was like, okay. He was like, tell me about yourself. I went, well, weirdly, I'm an actress. And I don't have any plans. I'm not committed to work back in the UK. And he was like, perfect. You're in. This is your role. Bring my family. They think I'm crazy. They think, no, this is a trap. Is it real? Is it authentic? Is it a perp? You know what's going on? You know what I mean? Is it an actual play? Like, do you know what I mean? So I sent all the details. And this director is really well known in Turkey.

56:36He's huge. What was the play about? It was just like a... You still don't know now. It was just like a play about this famous story about this couple, like Turkish Ottoman Empire play. Yeah. And I went in... In Turkish? In Turkish. My role wasn't huge, but it was something. I had an accent, though, a Turkish accent that didn't sound... You could tell I was not Turkish fully. And he went to me, you need to work on your accent. So he sent me to his schools, his schools, where they, like an RP for Turkish lessons. He funded it. I went. And then when my Turkish got better, and then he went, well, we're going to put you in a soap.

57:15My dad was like, you sure this man's not like, grooming you? And I went, no, dad, like, he's really not. Like, it's nothing. And then I got a role in a, it's a really, my acting's really bad this it's like a doctor's Turkish version of doctor's right and I'm like doing an operation on someone and it's really bad acting started off from that then to another one and then to another one where it was a huge one and that was when I was in it for like a year just before COVID and it's when I had the bandana on yeah so my dad was intrigued he was like I want to meet you know he's really well known so my dad comes to Turkey we all have like dinner he sees everything's you know professional legit and no the man just wants me to do well like there's nothing underneath it he sees the star quality he's like you know she needs to shine then weirdly you're gonna laugh at this we had a dinner right with the director guy it was like an end of year performance dinner there was like this Turkish drink called Raki I don't know if you've had it it's like grey we were all drinking that and then there was a they went to me I can go on stage and sing so I went I'll sing I took the mic I sang I Will Always Love You and in the audience there was a geezer on his phone recording it and he was Sony Music from Turkey recording it, sent it to the director and he went, who's that?

58:32And then after the dinner, they came up to me and went, we need to talk to you. And I went, yeah, I'm really drunk. They go, do you want a record label? And I went, what? You're what? I'm thinking it's a joke. So I'm going, yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever. Drunk. And he went, here's my card. We'll start recording in two weeks. Didn't ring the card because I thought it was a fraud. for a while and then somehow they found my details told my family they said this is crazy you sure this is real we had to look into it again all real went into the studios they sponsored the song i didn't pay or anything for the track shot the music video with this other girl it's it's on youtube and uh it's me and this blonde girl singing the song and it went viral so yeah it's mental what yeah I've done everything can you can you can you sing the chorus

59:31maybe after a few shots maybe I will after a few shots how does the chorus how does it how does it hum it how does it

59:47it's just a Turkish song that was beautiful No, it wasn't. No, thank you. That was beautiful. Okay, wait, hang on. So then you get seen by someone in Love Island. Someone reaches out to you for Love Island. Oh, Love Island's another weird one. No, no, that's really crazy. So... Ekin, your life. My life is... This is wild. Yeah. But you must be a natural manifester. You must... Oh, I believe in it. Yeah, for sure. 100%. Do you believe in it? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, a million, trillion percent. Guys, you need to manifest your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But really believe in it. you gotta work hard you gotta go for it but you really gotta you gotta visualise it yeah it does nothing can get in the way you gotta but no so the Love Island thing was the flip of a coin and it was a weird one because so the manager I have now I'd known for like 11 years we met Neil Force One Management at a PA event at my uni he brought Mark Wright and I was a fan of Mark Wright and we met so we stayed in Friends for like 11 years then when I was in Turkey I got an offer for a role for a movie it was huge at this This is just before Love Island.

1:00:50I was like, yeah, my God, this is my big time to really, you know, make it big in Turkey and stuff. Then I had a really, really weird dream that I won Love Island. But it was there was like fireworks. I didn't even think of Love Island. I won it. I'm standing at the final. Man's face is blurred. I don't know who the hell he was at the time. A blonde presenter. And the winner is Ekansu. I rang my manager the next day and I said, Neil, I've just had this dream. and he laughed for a good 30 minutes on the phone. He went, you wish, and hung up. And then I said to him, should we do, I want to apply.

1:01:27And he went to him, okay, fine. Didn't think I'd even get through because my answers were bonkers, like weird. Like, what's your talent? I can twist my arm all the way back, whatever. What do you believe in, aliens? It wasn't, I was doing it for banter. And then put my application through. Time went on. The movie script came and I was learning my lines. I had a call one day. I was in the hairdresser in Turkey getting my hair blonde. This is before I went in. I was blonde back then. And they were like, right, Ekin, this is ITV. We, you know, production of Love Island. We really want you. Can you do Love Island?

1:02:02Let's just throw you in the deep end. And I was like, just one second. They were bleaching my hair and I put the phone down and I just need to get out the hairdresser. And I was like, this is what? Because I'm preparing myself for the role, bear in mind. there's like a month left until I have to film we did something really crazy that night I had to flip a coin heads or tails heads would be I'm doing Love Island tails would be I'm doing the film I did it twice and guess what it landed on Love Island? yeah and then things changed you did Love Island on a flip of a coin? a flip of a coin I left it to the universe the gods to decide because I didn't know.

1:02:47I thought if I do Love Island, my acting career's gone. Because there's such a, you know, there's a saying if you do reality TV, it's hard to go back into something like that. Yeah. Had you seen previous Love Island series? Probably Molly May's one. That's all I saw. That's all you saw. Yeah. What was it about it? Because you're in this act, you're doing acting, it's in Turkey, you've got this career going on, but then you have this opportunity to do Love Island and yeah, it's a huge global show. Why do you pick it? I know it's a flip of coin, but the sort of non-risky sort of safe one would say, oh, I'm just going to stay doing this.

1:03:22100%, yeah, yeah. But you saw it maybe as an opportunity. I went to a tarot reader after. It called me crazy. No, I like it. Crazy, I am crazy. And the tarot reader that said, it swayed me to Love Island. It said, your future's bright. Just trust the coin. I was like, it's like a movie, my life's a movie, Jamie. I knew that it was a risk, of course. Like, who wouldn't want to do the movie? I thought I was going to leave in week one. So I didn't deep Love Island too much. I thought I could always go back to Turkey. Do you know what I mean? So I thought, what's the worst? You know, I'll just go home in a week or two, have a laugh on the show, maybe find someone and then go home.

1:04:04And also, you're right, you could always go back to Turkey. Always, yeah. That was going to be there, so it's fine. Yeah. What was the experience like? when you first were in there? Love Island? Yeah. I was just, I wasn't there for friends. I wasn't there for seasonal girlfriends. I was like, this is not friendship show. This is Love Island. And I knew, I said to producers, when I want something, I'll go and get it. I'm not afraid of stepping on toes. I was like, I'm brutal like that. I said, those girls better watch out. And hey, who? It was a ride. It was a ride. Because obviously I met Davide at the time and there was a lot of highs and lows.

1:04:43I remember just feeling like I was on a ride and it was just always like rocking back and forth. But you fell in love? I did. I know you haven't spoken about it publicly, so I understand you may not want to. I get it. I totally understand. But it is going into that show and then leaving in such a public relationship. Oh. That's a lot. Listen. That's a lot, dude. Being with a bloke in a relationship is hard enough. It is. Like, come on. And then being public for being globally hyped up and everyone wanted a bit of us. So much pressure to be this thing called Ekin Day. That's what our name was like.

1:05:19There was like so much like obsession with both of us that almost like we had to be that perfect couple. But was it perfect is the question. Because then you have the pressure, you get an ITV show afterwards. Yeah. And then that's a lot. So then you're becoming like a couple together on a show and it's like, oh God, so then what is if we break up is that all going to go exactly and that was always in my head because when things weren't going well there was always an element of oh if we break up that's going to be another thing it's going to be like well what have people going to start yeah it's hard it's hard it really is hard then you've got to talk about it you know in every single interview I just felt like I wanted my private life back at that moment because I didn't want the whole world to know the real reasons you know and you've never spoken about the real reasons half dead still stuff that I've not spoken about which I feel like it's private and he knows he knows but yeah it will always stay like that good on you by the way thank you and I do wish him well I genuinely wish him well like he's got a girlfriend now from what I've heard he's in LA living his life and he deserves happiness too like we had a relationship that was in the past.

1:06:37Wonderful memories. I'll always treasure them. But, you know, I'm happy too. And isn't that nice when exes can move on and find people that can be happy with?

1:06:50Egan, you've been absolutely amazing. No, I've... Listen, I feel like I've been speaking to a best friend. Oh, man. I really do. You've made me feel so honest and ease and comfortable. So I thank you for this. No, you're incredible. And I... Yeah, you're brilliant. You really, really are. and I'm just excited to see where you go and I hope you and Curtis get married because honestly... You guys will be... Front row seats. A hundred percent. All I just can't get over Curtis is like sayings. You're like an onion. Oh my God, have you seen those TikToks? Hello, darling. You look like an onion. Just want to peel your layers off, darling.

1:07:29Squidward from SpongeBob. can we like to end the conversation with eight questions are you ready for it yes what's a saying or phrase that always makes you smile or cheers you up where there is life there is love that's a good one best compliment anyone's ever given you um probably how i don't um i see everyone equal that's amazing yeah 100 that's the way to do life 100 without a doubt I love that thank you what scares you most about yourself? probably being repulsive you know acting on when I you vomit straight away yeah can be yeah it can be I'm working on it reactive when was the last time you cried?

1:08:14it was probably in Love Island you know I was hurt I felt like betrayal it felt like cheating at the time yeah some people said it was crocodile tears but hey I'll take that but it was real tears that moment actually in Love Island where you grabbed him and kissed him in the most passionate way it was unbelievable watching back see it's so funny I don't know why but it felt really intense at the time I loved it it was amazing that's how me and Kurt Sarr are indoors as well we're very like that passionate yeah like you're theatrical he's theatrical it's passion everywhere

1:08:54it's unbelievable what's something you can't let go of? I don't know. It could be anything. I can't let go of, I feel like, well, I can't let go of someone when people misunderstand me and I get misjudged. I think that kind of still sticks on to me. It's like, please get to know me. I'm not what you think of me. You know? It's annoying when that happens. And I can't let it go sometimes. That's fair. You know. That's very fair. What's your guilty pleasure? Chocolate. Every day I have stacks of it in my chocolate, in my chocolate box. I have it all the time. It's my guilty pleasure. I also regret it when I eat it.

1:09:32But yeah. What turns you off? What turns me off is people who are very judgmental. I have very like opinionated, two-faced, not authentic. Turns me off. What turns you on? Intelligence. When someone's smart, it really, really turns me on. What do you like most about yourself? I treat everyone the same. I'm humble in my ways. I make people feel comfortable. I just treat everyone with respect. I mean, I can't explain. I just love everyone. And I love that. There's no sort of ego about myself. Yeah, that's a great way. And that's just something I recognize. Yeah, amazing. Yeah. Bonus, favorite swear word?

1:10:22Can I say it here? Yeah, you can. See you next Tuesday. Well, what is that? cunt

1:10:31sorry not to you you know you are a queen thank you so much no thank you you are the best thank you so much for coming on thank you Jamie I loved it that was so good

1:10:48wasn't that great I loved it she was very honest very honest I like her a lot I feel like I get her a bit more as well yeah I do And I think she's hungry and driven, but also kind and caring. I liked her energy. Her energy was good. I like that she's just also like a bit of a weirdo. Yeah, she's a bit of a nerd. Bit of a nerd, but like a really, really good looking one. Yeah, she's a really hot nerd. When she sat down and the camera was on her, I was looking at the monitor. I was like, I actually don't think I've ever seen anyone sit down and immediately glow in that way. Yeah, she was amazing.

1:11:22And Ecken, if you're listening, we absolutely adore you. You were brilliant in every single way. we hope you guys enjoyed listening to it as well our wonderful owls there we go PJ producer Jemima saying that PJ producer Jamie and we hope that you enjoy these shows if you do enjoy these shows please please please keep subscribing to the show and keep listening to it and keep supporting it in lots of different ways and write in the comments section who our next guest should be maybe that's on YouTube or just where you're listening to this you can also email us greatcompany at jampopproductions.co.uk or you can sign to our DMs at greatcompanypodcast let us know what you think of the show That's been wonderful.

1:11:56That's been wonderful. It's been wonderful. And we're going to see you next week for another episode of Great Company.

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