EMILY ATACK: I'VE ONLY ENJOYED SEX A HANDFUL OF TIMES

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1:20A world premiere play only at Arena Stage. Performances start October 8th. Tickets at arenastage.org.

1:32Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie Lang, and this is Great Company.

1:41Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Great Company Podcast with my wonderful co-host producer, in a way, it's Jemima. That's how everyone always wants to be introduced. This is my wife, in a way. I'm not his wife, sorry I'm referring to when he introduces Sophie And this is my My Husband Husband in a way My talent in a way It actually is I'm Jemima's Prodigy My name is Jamie I'm the host Of this podcast Great Company Welcome to the show Jemima is the producer And if you've just tuned in She sits with me on all these shows And we talk about The things I've done right I've done wrong We talk about what you maybe Have done right and wrong and you give a little insight to what happens behind the scenes as well.

2:29A little bit, yeah. I mean, if you have any questions, do write them in. That's really interesting. If you do have any questions that you want to know about the producing of the show or hosting of the show, please do write it in. Our email is greatcompanypodcast? Greatcompany. Greatcompany at jampopproductions.co.uk or you can slide into our DMs at greatcompanypodcast. We see them all, which is amazing. I'm very glad that you've just given all that information because I have another request that I would like people to get in touch about. We do eight questions at the end of every episode. And there is one which I don't think either of us are very sure of.

3:03Which is the one where, tell us something that you are embarrassed that you know you like. Yeah, you'd be embarrassed for people to know that you like or want. Lots of people, I feel like we're both, we all yum and are about this one. So, I mean, a little bit of info behind how we came up with those questions is we wanted to kind of touch on different emotions. So there's ones that touch on like joy, fear, sadness, and we don't really have any about anger. We don't have any about anger, but we wanted to touch on all the emotions and they're great questions. But I think what you're asking is if you have a better question we can ask at the end or maybe some ideas or questions that we should ask, please let us know because we would love to hear.

3:45I'm open to changing one of the eight. Yeah. And we will reference you if it's your question that we choose. We'll celebrate you. Okay, today's episode, we have Emily Atak. Oh, lovely Emily Atak. Lovely Emily. I'm friends with Emily. I've been friends with her for a while, quite a long time now. Where did you meet? I met her. She came to my live show when I had another podcast many years ago. The one that you ran naked in? Yes. Emily is incredible. She is not only just giving birth, she's a mama. She also campaigns against sexual harassment. She has done incredible shows like The Inbetweeners and this new Disney show Rivals, which is out now, which you can go and watch on Disney+.

4:28She's an incredible person and is really passionate about certain things. So I'm really excited to talk to her today. I agree. Are you ready for this? I'm very ready. Okay, producer Jemima, let's go. Please welcome to the podcast, Emily Atak.

4:44Hi, I'm Emily Aitak. And do you know what? I am fucking great company, actually.

4:53My Bebo-like status was live fast, die young. Oh, for fuck's sake. It's like the worst. But that was a sort of attitude of the 90s and the early 2000s and that kind of like fast-paced, hectic love. Yeah. My MSN name for ages was M is bad. M is I-Z. M is bad. Like, that was my thing. And then my other MSM was, Barbie is a slut. What does that even mean? Barbie is a slut. When it came to sort of love and things like that, were you quite good at being like, Oh, God, here we go. Here we go. Look at this. Straight in there. Honestly, I was so upset. Right, the issue was, I watched too many Disney films and I was obsessed with Hanson, the band Hanson.

5:42Yeah, Mbop, yeah. Sorry. The Mbop Boys. That's my favourite. They're the best band ever. I was, I fancied them so badly. Like, not just, oh yeah, they were like my crush. I was deeply like, I was, they broke my heart. Sorry, so Hanson. Hanson, yeah. Yes. And I'm very serious about this. I wrote, I wrote them when I was about six or seven. I wrote to their fan club, telling them how much I loved them, and they never responded. so that was my first rejection my the complexities of my attachment styles started there because it was the first time I'd been rejected by three men at once yeah and three brothers three brothers beautiful brothers I was so obsessed that I cannot explain it and I would like cry to my mom saying like I want them all to be my boyfriend like I don't know what to do I was so obsessed with boys in that in that way so boys at school it was like I wasn't interested in playing on the tour with the toys and you know in the sand pits or anything it was playing kiss chase with all the boys like that was my thing from nursery day dot it was like right boys that's i was obsessed so i played kiss chase as well yeah my first kiss eliza the poshest name ever eliza but it's quite a weird game like now i'm thinking about it but i was a bit it's a bit just chasing each other trying to kiss each other but we were six years old so maybe there's forgiveness there but that's where it all starts It's kiss chase.

7:06You're being chased by the boys and the boys love the chase. But as soon as they get you and they go to kiss you, they do a Jamie Lang and go, actually, I really regret this and then run away. It's boys like you that have really killed us our whole lives. But what is the, what is the being obsession with, because I had it as well. What was the obsession with boys growing up? I just, I can't describe it. I think, I can't say this. Yeah, you can. You can say anything you want. I was just really like, I was just very sexually aware from a very young age. Sorry, my sister's face, oh, head in her hands.

7:40I would just, I don't know, like, I just wanted, I didn't want to do anything naughty or gross, like, no sexy things. I was too young for that. It was more like, I wanted to be, like, really looked after by a loving, a lovely man. I know, listen. And I wanted my prince. I was obsessed with having a prince. I wanted my prince and I wanted to go off on a horse into the sunset like they do in the films. I watched too many Disney films. I thought that's the way life was going to be. And then I started fancying all the Disney villains and that's when it all went wrong. I'm with you because I remember when I was a kid.

8:14I don't know how we've got here, but I'm just going to go with it. I was really, I think, sexually aware as a kid. I can't believe I'm going to admit this to you, but I will. I remember one night, I must have been about six years old, and I had seen something that my sister, because my sister was much older, and it must have been like a dominatrix thing. Like it was on television where it was a person, this woman was spanking this man with a sort of paddle. So I went downstairs, stole my mum's wooden spoon and got into bed and thought I should try and spank myself. Oh, you didn't pull it up your bum.

8:53No, I didn't pull it up my bum. But I did do that because I was so, there was this world and this awareness. And same as you, I then became sort of assessed with girlfriends and Disney. Yeah, magazines. Magazines. And my first love was Nala. Yes. Well, my first love was the candle from Beauty and the Beast. So I don't know what's weirder, an animal or a candle. Yeah, but no, I get it. I completely get it. But that was how those films were designed. Like that candle from Beauty and the Beast, the way he gets all like, I remember he used to sort of, you know, slightly have it off with the feather duster.

9:32and I was like so jealous of that feather duster. She'd be like, oh no. And oh yes, oh no. And it was things like that. I'd be like, oh my God, my twinkle feels funny. Why? You know, it's confusing. It's really confusing as a child.

9:51Was there a moment when suddenly you had in your career, you've done Inbetweeners, you're suddenly shot to this fame, which, and it was, it's the biggest comedy of the decade. in between is. Like, it really was. It was so huge. Do you suddenly then, was there a moment that you suddenly felt insecure? You suddenly grew awareness and you suddenly went, oh shit, what's happened here? Do you know what? It all started with my weight because I, at first, I'd never had a complexity, a complex about my weight, ever. I'd never thought I was overweight. I was always fine with my body. I've always had such a healthy relationship with eating that I've never, ever had an issue with it.

10:32And then when I got the role of Charlotte in the Inbetweeners, everybody started commenting on my way. And I remember this was like before Facebook had only just started happening. It was like more chat forums rather than, you know, I think it was like, I think Instagram was only just breaking into, I didn't have Instagram, you know, it was literally just pages. There'd be Facebook pages about whatever you were doing. So like, I remember there was a whole Facebook page dedicated to me, very nice, to Charlotte Inchcliffe. But I just couldn't believe how awful it was. People talking about my weight, saying, but then people would sort of, you know, then try and be positive and go, but at least, you know, we're seeing curvier girls now playing sexier roles on television.

11:20I'm like, I didn't even know I was curvy. I was like a size eight or something. I was like the tiniest, the tiny little body. But to some people, this was like the first time people had seen a girl that wasn't really, really skinny. I hate that word skinny, but really, really slim. Like, what word could I use? I know what you mean. Yeah, really. Like, actresses, you know, they were so used to seeing very, very, very, very underweight actresses playing the lead sexy girls, the fit girls. it's weird talking about yourself in this way I would do because it's honestly I promise you and this is like it will help so many people so just talk it through well and I started seeing I started seeing online like people talking about my weight and saying you know oh my god this girl is so overweight how is she even cast in this role and some people go no it's actually really healthy to see a curvier actress in this role but I didn't even know I was curvy so I was kind of going well hang on a minute I've been asked to play the fit girl at school So I was like, hey, yeah, great.

12:23I must be really pretty then. I must be really attractive. But then I'm being told that I'm a fat, ugly piece of shit. So it's like, but then I'm still doing, I was still the poster girl for the in-between. So I was still doing all these lads mags and posing in my underwear. People saying I was sexy and beautiful, but then some people saying I was fat and ugly. So it's so confusing because it's just, I was like, well, I don't really know who I am anymore. I don't really know. You know, at 17 years old, that's so tricky. That is a rough road to go down. Luckily, I've never, ever had any kind of, any unhealthy eating habits or dieting.

12:58Well, that's really lucky. I'm so fucking lucky. That is really lucky. Honestly, I am so lucky that I have never, ever in my life, I don't go on diets. I don't go on diets. There have been times in my life where I go, right, I've got to lay off the wine for a bit and get in shape for this new role. Or for my mental health, I go to the gym a little bit more. But I've never, ever given into that. I've never ever become thinner because of being called fat and overweight because I've had to really, really train my brain over and over again. You're not fat. You're not fat. You're not fat. You're not fat.

13:33And that's, yeah, that's really, really tough. What does that do to someone's mental state? Because if you have, it's, God, I... I'm doing it now. I'm conscious now. I'm conscious now about my... What did I say to you when I came in? And I said, can we film me from the right hand side? Because for some reason, when I get filmed on this side, I've got a load of chins there, but I don't have chins on this side. I know for a fact that when this goes out, I've just had a baby. I know people are going to, I'm going to get an onslaught of people saying that I look massive and that I haven't lost the baby weight yet.

14:06And oh Christ, get her on a Zen pic. You know, it's for some reason with women and men get this too, of course, but it is harder for women. There is something about weight. And actually I'm going to exclude men from this. Yeah, do it. for a while, for a second, because there's a certain love, a toxic love language that we've created as women. This is how we communicate. We talk about our weight constantly. It's how we greet each other. We go, oh my God, hi, skinny mini. You look nice. Oh my God. Oh my God, have you lost weight? Have you lost weight? It's just verbal diarrhea that comes out. I do it.

14:37I see friends and the first thing I say is, oh, you look slim. I don't know what, I might not even think it, but it's the first thing that comes out my mouth. I comment on my girlfriend's weight. It's what we do. It's what we talk about. We talk about the diets that we're on. And I know that sounds so stereotypical, but it is what we talk about. And it's become this, I call it this toxic love language that we've created amongst each other. I don't know if that's because of the ridiculous beauty standards that we have for the male gaze that we think that we have to uphold. I don't know if it's that.

15:08I don't know if it's competitiveness between each other as women. I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's this awful thing that hasn't changed where we can't stop talking about weight. It drives me mental and especially, I'm going off a little bit. No, but do it because this is really important. Yeah, especially since having a baby. There is something quite liberating about having a baby that you... What is liberating about it? Well, your body goes through so much and you genuinely look at your body as a completely different vessel. My whole life, my body was used for something completely different.

15:42It was to be to be sexualized and to sell a show and to, you know, my body has been something my whole life that has always been that. And having it being pregnant and kind of being kind of being desexualized in a way. I mean, let me tell you now, when you're pregnant, you ain't being wolf whistled at anymore. You know, you're not. You're not at all. You're completely desexualized. And so being pregnant and looking at your body in such a different way, your body goes through all these changes. You create a human inside you. You are fucking exhausted. You're keeping them alive. It's mad. Yes. And then you have to, then you give birth to that child, which, by the way, is mental.

16:24No one actually tells you how mental it is giving birth. It's mental. No, it's mental for 24 hours trying to push a human out of you, only to be told last minute, we're going to have to cut you open. Oh, great. Cheers. Excellent. So you've just seen my arsehole. You've seen my entirety. You've seen all my insides. You've gone right up there, hand right up there. You've checked my dilation for the last 24 hours, told me how big my vagina was getting so that the baby was coming out in order to tell me last minute, sorry, love, we're going to have to cut you open. Are you fucking kidding me? Great.

17:05Great. So not only have you seen my bum hole and my vagina, you are now seeing my intestines, my insides, my rib cage. I don't know what's worse. Oh, my God. Oh, anyway, I digress. Is it? Yeah, go, go. So then you go through all of that, and then you come out with this beautiful baby. You're a mother. You get home. You are recovering from a C-section, which is absolutely horrendous. You can't walk for weeks on end. you go through everything it's horrendous I couldn't walk for weeks couldn't walk but they just the hospital just go right bye here's your baby and you just you just have to deal with it and you get home and the first thing people say to you is when are you going to get back in the gym are you I have literally what do you mean when am I going to get back in the gym I've just created a human I am exhausted I've just tried to push a human out of me and had it ripped out my stomach the last thing I want to do is go to the gym.

18:06But the first thing you're expected to do is get back into shape, is you have to be slim again. I watched Oti Mabusi said this on a podcast the other day, and I was like, hallelujah, someone's saying it. Why should we? We have to snap back into shape. We have to go back. We have to go back to being slim again, especially in this industry. But actually, it's not just this industry. It's just, it's the ridiculous beauty standard we have as women, full stop, whether you're in the industry or not. For some reason, after you have a baby, you have to get rid of this baby weight you go back in the gym I'm sorry but I have just I've I've literally where's the congratulations for growing a human and for being a mother and and having to squeeze your nipples so hard into your baby's mouth so it can get milk and then not being able to get the milk out and then getting mastitis and being in bed for two weeks and having all these smells and liquids coming out of your body out of orifices that you didn't know existed where's the little pat on the back you get for that instead it's when you're getting back in the gym when are you going to get the baby weight off fuck you man i mean by the way you're amazing for telling us because no i i really dying to say that no and you i can say i think so many women out there will just be going thank you thank you thank you it's horrific that standard and you know i'm not back in the gym at the minute i've actually put on more weight since giving birth because...

19:27And good on you. Yeah, I'm just enjoying this bit. My body has been through enough. The last thing I want to do is go to the gym. Let's face it, the gym is hell. The gym is awful. Yeah, you don't like it. You put yourself through hell for an hour. I've just put myself through hell for the last year of creating a baby. Pregnancy is very tough, by the way. Yes, yes, it's all roses. Oh, lovely, lovely. It's fucking hard. It's also awful. And I've just, my body has just been through that. Why would I put myself through the gym right now? No. and I'm enjoying having that Chinese takeaway on a Sunday evening and not feeling like a horrible slob on a Monday going, oh, but I need to, oh God, yeah, but I didn't count calories over the weekend.

20:06I don't care at the minute. Good on you. I'm giving myself a little bit of time off that. I'm being a mother and I'm, you know, I'm looking after my baby and I'm feeding my baby, making sure my baby is happy and alive and I'm a good mum. and you know that for me at the moment is that's what I want to be applauded on not getting back in the gym quickly fuck that tell me about what it's like to be a mum oh my god I want the ups and the downs the lefts and the rights it's the hardest thing in the world and it's it's not no being a mum isn't awful but there are moments where it feels unbearable it feels awful sometimes like not the love you have for your child but the pressures of it instantly like well like i just said you know the pressures that you feel to be a good mum to be the perfect mum should i be doing this oh god should i you know the breastfeeding thing for me was very very difficult i i tried everything i could i couldn't breastfeed that has been a really really difficult process yeah and the baby just would not latch he did it first and then and then he just and then he stopped and he was getting thinner and thinner by the day and i just i've got to feed my baby got to feed my child and you know I got very ill I got so so ill with with something called mastitis which happens when the milk gets all kind of blocked up and you know I was lying there my baby was not being fed I was like I've got to feed my child I've got to feed my child and that so moments like that at that point it is so difficult because I'm I'm going yeah but everyone's gonna think I'm a shit mom because I can't breastfeed every I've failed at the first hurdle first thing that I was meant to do was breastfeed my child and I can't even do that you feel like you've fallen at the first bit and you feel like you need to justify yourself as well and of course you don't and I know for a fact even saying this now I'll get backlash going breast is best but the irony that my tits have got me through my life and now they're not fucking working for me yeah cheers when I really needed you when I really fucking needed you twats um but yeah like i'm watching and i'll never forget this like i remember i just bought barney home and i was trying so hard to get into latch i couldn't do it and he was just screaming he was trying he was trying and my mother i literally had my mum my partner my cousin squeezing there is a certain you have to get like a certain angle for the nipple to go in the mouth and at one point I had six people on my boob like this, like squeezing it in a certain angle.

22:39I was screaming in pain, like trying to get just one tiny bit of milk out in the baby's mouth. And it was just, and everyone was like discussing, going, right, you hold that end, you hold this end. And at the time they were like massive, so they were, you know, it took an army. And they were all, and I had my partner squeezing my nipple like that, I had my cousin squeezing the side of my boob, my mum squeezing. my mum hasn't touched my body like that since I was a baby and yet all of a sudden people are there trying to get you to you know trying to feed this baby and yeah and it was it was the most and I remember sort of thinking and I and they were all sort of discussing like right how should we you know how should we make this work how you try that and you try and I just thought wow how lucky am I that I've got a family like this and a partner like this and all this help around me and you know and but I still felt like I was failing I couldn't feed my baby and it's just horrific and then you have to go to the and then you have to be in the public eye oh hey oh this is you know it's all so great and happy yeah yeah and I you know and and you're sort of you know your people are people are constantly watching your your behavior like oh is she coping you know is she okay I was so scared I didn't leave my house for the first six weeks because I was so scared that a pap was going to, because I knew they were waiting for me at the end of the road.

24:00Yeah. On my private road. They love you because they know with you they can sell those headlines. Is it love? Is it love? I don't know. But they can sell. I tell you what, they know that you sell for them. Yeah. And they were waiting. They were waiting. I knew they were waiting at the end of the road. They were waiting for that shot. They were waiting for me to look knackered and be looking overweight and go, oh, is she coping? You know, it sparks off this conversation. And I didn't leave my house for six weeks. So I was just at home with the baby, trying so desperately to enjoy these beautiful moments, which I was, you know, that God, he is just unbelievable.

24:32But the pressures are just so difficult. And then throw in the fact that you're in the public eye on top of that. That is, most people don't have to worry about being photographed when they leave the house after they've just had a baby, you know. And that is, that was really horrible.

24:51We've known each other for quite a long time now. There is so much that you've done in your career, but just what I didn't realize is you were doing, when you did Inbetweeners and you became really famous, you were doing this sort of lads mags when you were 17 years old. You were doing these magazines. I didn't realize you were so young when that was happening. Yeah. And it's, but it was confusing because I was very happy to do those photo shoots, you know, like for example, FHM, the FHM days, right, of being on the cover of FHM. I was so proud of that. And I would go to those photo shoots and have the best day.

25:27My mum would come with me. I'd given a lovely lunch. I worked with all these amazing photographers, had these lovely people around me. Honestly, those photo shoots were so fun. Some people didn't have, you know, great experiences, but I can only speak from personal experience. I was so happy just like living my best life going oh my god celebrating my youth my body my you know I'm never gonna look like that again you know and I I did I was I was happy to celebrate that and at the time that was the normal thing to do you have a show coming out you promote your work you get your kit off and you do a front page of FHM that is that that was how it was and I was fine with that it was it's the behavior and the it's what spirals out of that it's it's the kind of negative the negative domino effect but break that down what happens so I genuinely so and everybody also thinks as well that when you do stuff like this it's for the male gaze right it's your floor the language that's used in the tabloids the tabloid the articles that come out after those shoots that are then saying that you're parading you're flaunting you're this but even then I was like well yeah I mean I'm promoting my show this is what I'm doing you know but it's the narrative that narrative of parading and flaunting for the male gaze then has drip fed throughout my life into my real life.

26:44So now every time I walk down the street, I'm parading and flaunting my ample assets. You know, what really made me laugh was when I was pregnant, I thought naively, well, I think the headlines will kind of start changing now. Surely there'll be a shift. I'm a mother now, you know. They can't write about me in a salacious kind of way. and the the first the first time they they pat me walking down the road um with a pregnant bump it said emily atat flaunts baby bump so it's like you've got so one minute i'm walking down the road flaunting my chest my floor at my ample assets and parading my curves and you know figure hugging dress and the next thing i'm flaunting my baby bump so it's kind of like the narrative no matter what you do and so people constantly say to me oh so um yeah but it's you're it's you're kind of saying look at me don't look at me look at me don't look at me it's like well no whatever happens no matter even if I cover up and I'm literally I'm walking down the road with a baby bump that narrative of you're flaunting it you're parading it is always there that narrative for a woman is always written if you've done things like lads mags and stuff in the past so the problem now when people when men kind of go well hang on a minute you're playing uh you're playing all these kind of sexy roles you're playing naked tennis in Jilly Cooper's new show Rivals you're but then you're saying you're saying but don't look at me but don't but don't sexualize me but it's really tricky because I in my mind I'm at work I'm doing my job I'm playing a role that requires nudity that requires me to get my clothes off and do that and it's not for I'm at work.

28:30I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And yet somehow that turns into me. It's drifted across. Yeah. And it's kind of like the confusion. I'm not confused. I think men are confused because their whole lives they've been drip-fed headlines to say that we're flaunting, to say that we're doing this for the male gaze. So that when we turn around and say, please don't pinch my ass, please don't wolf-whistle at me, they're confused and they go but I thought you were public property I thought you were for public consumption I thought that because and you know and also people say don't believe anything you read people believe everything they read and everything they consume so if men their whole lives have had that drip fed to them that we are flaunting for the male gaze of course they're going to be confused when we turn around and say but don't but don't touch me don't don't uh don't overly sexualize me you know this is where men get very confused you're treated like a commodity Yes.

29:26I went to the Women of the Year Awards. Glamour, Glamour Women of the Year, yeah. Because I was not accepting an award. Sophie was invited. I went with her. And Catherine Brown was hosting it. She was amazing. And quickly it made me realise in this room, and to be honest, I was going, I was like, oh God, I've got to go to this thing. And actually I had an amazing time. I'm so glad that you said that. Because I suddenly realised, and I don't want to seem like I'm sunny because you're here, I'm stuck out to him. But I swear to God, I'm really honest on the show. I realised what arseholes men are.

30:00Yes. And I realised it from a female gaze. And I was like, oh shit, maybe I've been a bit flirty with someone or whatever. But that is exactly the good thing. Men are getting so angry that they now have to think about their behaviour. And they go, well, I don't know. Oh God, I'm too scared to even say someone looks nice anymore. The fact that you have to think about your behaviour, or past behavior, maybe regret some of the things and some of the choices you've made. That's a good thing. Women, every single day of their lives have to go out there and think about what we're wearing. Is this going to attract negative attention?

30:33We have to constantly second guess everything we're doing and everything we're putting out there in case it sends the wrong message. So the fact that we've had to do that from day one. So the fact that men are now only just having to maybe look inward a tiny little bit and go, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Or shit, maybe I shouldn't say that. That's a good thing. Just take it on the chin. take it on the fucking chin we've been doing this since day one the least you can do for us is slightly look inward and go do you know what maybe i'm not gonna pinch her ass maybe i'm not maybe maybe i won't say that misogynistic thing like the fact that you just have to think about it a little bit can only be a good thing well fucking said thank you yeah i'm very hot now But it's so true.

31:19People don't like change. No. They don't like change. Men have been promised this world that is now changing. They've been promised something different. Look at all the Andrew Tate fans. It's a certain type of boy, a certain type of guy that were promised a very different world where women don't have as much say as they do now. They don't have as much equality. You know, it's not, they were promised a world where it was more about the men. It was more of a man's world. And they panic because they go, well, this isn't what I was promised. This isn't, you know, women having more of a say, having equal pay, equal rights.

31:55This is not the world I was promised. And they panic. It's funny, right? They feel alone. You know, Sophie and I think about kids, right? And I, again, I've said this before, but there was this one, I was walking down the street, right? And there was this dad. and he was walking down it was a summer evening and he had his arm around his two daughters one side and another daughter that side and they were so happy and I was like holy shit that's what I want so I would boys would be amazing but I really would just love girls and I grew up with sisters and things like that you're a girl dad and I'm also because I'm just really like alpha I'm just you know I'm really alpha male so I think I think I'll do the opposite because I'll have I can't too much alpha otherwise But I then, like, want...

32:44So because I'm thinking about them all, then I'm thinking about this women's world and the safety of it and all these different things and the fact that, you know, Catherine Ryan said, women find it scary to go jogging at night. Yes. That is so mad to me. Because as a man... Well, congratulations. I would never think about that. Of course I can go running at night. That must be lovely. That must be really nice. And it makes me realise. But then the tricky thing is, is that I look at my sister's generation, who my sister's older than me, you know, and our generation, especially for women, grew up that you, women were on the front of lads mags and you had to be sexy to be attractive.

33:24It wasn't particularly about how smart or charming, how funny. You know, as a young kid, it was, oh, are they sexy? That's what it is. And that's such a bad representation. It is. And it's also, you're either sexy and gorgeous or you're funny and smart. you can't be both. And it was kind of, I've always really tried to push this message that yes, you can be both. And also celebrating sexiness isn't, it doesn't have to be such a seedy, awful thing. You can celebrate sexiness in a really empowering, uplifting, positive way without being a fucking pervert. Do you know what I mean? It's like, you're allowed to appreciate a sexy woman.

34:00And also sexiness, it's about showing the message too that sexiness shouldn't just be about, you know, being in a bikini. It's about who you are as a person and, you know, being kind, being nice, being funny. There's sexy things too. We've been sort of sold this thing that sexiness only means nipples through your shirt and, you know, just in your pants with no cellulite on your ass. Like the sexiest thing surely in the world is being able to, I don't know, grow a child inside you and then afterwards have the scars to prove it and be like, I did this. I'm a fucking boss bitch. Like that's sexy.

34:38And the confidence to be able to do that and the confidence to be a mother and still go out there, still work and still feel confident and sexy in yourself. That's sexy. You know, you're allowed to celebrate sexiness. It's just, it's what we've been drip fed our whole lives into thinking what sexiness means.

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36:18Forgive me if I'm wrong here, but I remember when I noticed you were pregnant because you were suddenly put on social media. And you put this beautiful picture of you on social media. And I sent you, I don't know if you remember, I sent you a message saying, God, I'm just so happy for you. But I think for you, you hid it. yes for a long time well well no i was forced to tell everybody because the papers got hold of the information like they do i don't know how they do it they know they know everything we all know this don't we like sometimes the stuff that they know you're like how how do you know that how would you know that so they found out and they they said they were going to run the story and so i had to i wanted to get in there first and tell everyone so i had to tell everyone i was pregnant within i I was only like a few weeks gone.

37:00And as a woman, you don't want to tell anyone yet because so much can happen. And, you know, there are so many complications that can happen. You can miscarry. You know, it's such a... And again, that's another pressure. Another pressure is that you're not supposed to tell anyone that you're pregnant until you have that 12-week scan. So I was forced into having to tell everyone really, really early. I didn't want to do that at all, but I had to because the papers had it. So that's another pressure. And then it's like, oh God. And then the whole time I was just going, well, if I lose the baby now, I've told everyone now.

37:33I've told everybody. Because you can't, it's the chance of miscarriage are very, very high. You know, you can miscarry before 12 weeks very, very easily. And every day I would wake up so terrified. I would just, I would check, I would check my underwear constantly that I wasn't bleeding every second of the day. Because I was so scared that I, I now, I was like forced to tell everybody that I was pregnant. I didn't look, which I didn't want to. I only wanted to keep it very, very good. But I told everybody now. So I was just kind of like, oh my God, if I miscarry now, that's having to tell millions of people that I miscarry.

38:05And you're meant to be nesting. I'm meant to be nesting, eating peanut butter sandwiches. And your cortisol is going up and up and up. And then you're stressed about being stressed, about being stressed. Yeah, that was a really, really, I haven't spoke about my pregnancy much really, but that was a really difficult, really difficult thing. And my pregnancy was really tough. I found it really, really tough. Just all of those. Mentally? So, so difficult. Mentally and physically. So, so difficult. I think because physically it was so tough. Yeah, it had an effect on my mental health. I couldn't walk.

38:38I couldn't do anything. I had pelvic dysfunction. Yeah, it was awful. It was really awful. And don't get me wrong, you know, I know how lucky I am. Emily, don't try and justify. You don't need to. It's really hard. You do not need to try and justify yourself. you had it's shit and it's okay and also for you just want like it's okay for it to be shit it was and it's okay to feel down and anxious and depressed and those things well paloma faith she said she wrote an article saying how difficult she found her pregnancies and that they were bloody awful and i really really appreciated that i read that at a moment where i really needed that because i was kind of going why aren't i enjoying this everyone said that i was going to have this glow up and that I was going to be doing Pilates and have this really amazing feeling.

39:25I didn't have that glow. Some people do. Some people have this second trimester where everything feels amazing and you get this new lease of life and loads of energy. I did not have that at all throughout. I was so poorly. I was sick every single day. I felt so ill. I was, I was, it was awful. It was really, really tough. Um, but yeah, so I was going, why, why aren't I, why aren't I doing Pilates. I just watched Downton Abbey every single day and did bugger all and ate whatever I wanted. Actually, it was great. Now I'm looking at the rosacea. I watched Downton Abbey every single day. I ate nothing but peanut butter sandwiches and pancakes and takeaways.

40:05I now say that if I was to do Mastermind, my special subject would be North London takeaways because I know every single item North that's very good North London takeaways I like that yeah and I I just did that because I just felt like shit and yeah but it is funny how when you look back and you do sort of see it then with rose cinches at the time it was awful but now I kind of go eh wasn't so bad yeah but also I want you to know your experience is your experience and it's so fair to be that way and I think sometimes as individuals we always I do it a lot of the time when I'm feeling anxious or whatever, I go, oh yeah, but it's okay.

40:43But it's actually to accept that it was just fucking awful. Yeah. I remember there was this one night, and I haven't told anybody this yet, but there was a, and just going back to what I was saying about the pressure of, you know, now that I told everybody and I was forced to tell everyone that I was pregnant. And then a couple of days after I made the announcement, I had a really big bleed. I had a, I went to the, and what we're told that if you see blood, it's a really bad, it's bad. so I saw there was like blood in the toilet and I was like oh my god I'm miscarrying I'm miscarrying and I my sister was there with me and I was just it was just coming out of me coming out of me coming and I was like oh my god I'm miscarrying and I thought that's it that's it there we go biggest fear realized I'm having a miscarriage and uh we blessed my sister we she bundled me into the car went to the nearest hospital I kind of ran in there I was just bleeding bleeding I was like someone help me I don't know what to do and then they advised that we go to a private thing.

41:38So we went to a private thing, got it done really quickly, had a scan. And he said, so the baby's fine. He said, you've had a hemorrhage, a hematoma, but the baby is okay. I couldn't believe it. I thought, I thought there's no way. I was like, I've definitely lost the baby. There's no way I can bleed that much and not lose the baby. And I was fine. And the baby was fine. But there was that moment where I was just like, I thought, I thought it was all over. And I thought, but having to tell everybody and like, you feel like you've let everyone down it's really fucking awful so you know women that go through yeah it does it really does so like and you know anyone that's listening to this i don't know upset anybody who's been through you know baby loss miscarriage it's all of that it's the most horrific thing ever and i'm telling you a lot of that pain comes from feeling like you have to let everybody down because you've told everybody you're going to have this baby and everything's going to be wonderful and then you're having to kind of take that away it's it's the pressure is ridiculous you shouldn't have to worry about those things it's funny because i uh what a really very close friend of mine and i won't say she's but a close friend of mine has had a miscarriage and she told me god and um and she just said i just feel like something's wrong with me and i don't really know and and as a as her guy friend i i'm sort of trying to understand what that feels like and trying to help her through that but it and as well you know miss the word miscarriage it's so dismissed as like this casual thing it's so like oh yeah so I know this I know this girl yeah she had a miscarriage because it is calm it's technically seen as common but what is so awful like I get really angry even when doctors say it you know in the early days of your pregnancy and they talk about miscarriage like it is such a common thing that is so flippant and so throwaway you know they say yeah well you know in the first bit uh it's 30 percent of miscarriage hit um in these times and then they talk about it like it is so common.

43:34But to that person who has just lost that baby, it is the most devastating thing you could ever imagine. And you've lost your child, but people don't, for some reason there's this really casual kind of narrative around miscarriage. Like it's so common that it's just something that, you know, yeah, that you kind of sometimes have to go through. Like I cannot even imagine the agony, imagine that pain. And again, it's just something as women that we are just told to get on with. You just have to get on with it. And it's the same as having a cesarean, same as, you know, complications at birth. It's just kind of like, yeah, yeah.

44:14So, yeah, they cut me open and then I just had to go home and just kind of deal with it. I couldn't feed my baby for fuck's sake because I couldn't walk. I couldn't change his nappies. It's like it's just all these things that we're just as women. We're meant to just get on with, shut up and get on with it, you know. And it's hard for men. It's hard for men to understand. Why would you? Why would you understand it? It's a physical thing you've never had to think about. But I think also sometimes men, and again, I feel like I'm bashing dudes today, but I think also with men, some men don't feel like they need to understand.

44:45And I think it's really important to understand these things. Well, I always say these baby books that are written for women, for new mums, they should be written for the blokes in the situation. Honestly, it should be for blokes. Luckily, my partner loves reading. So he, I didn't read any of the baby books. He read every single one. So he was way more kind of equipped and he understood. I mean, it talks more about the kind of physical processes of a lot of things. But I honestly think that in order to, you know, for the men to be able to navigate the fourth trimester or any of it, I think they should read the books.

45:18It should be written for the men. The men should have the baby books, not the women. We know, we're like, well, yeah, this is what we're designed to do, apparently. So we can just get, men should read those books. I might read them. Yeah. What does it, becoming a mama, what does it change your view on life? Oh my God. Give it to me because I want to know because I'm desperate to know that it's. Well, it's because everything I now, everything I do is now for him. It used to be for me or sometimes I didn't know why I did the things that I did, you know. But now it's kind of like when I, when I, it just gives me personally, not for everyone.

45:52Some people choose not to have children and get way better sleeps and way better freedom and better holidays. honestly if you choose that too fucking amazing yeah well trust me absolutely fine um but yeah personally for me you know when I I realized that all the the campaign work I've been doing recently about affirmative consent I've been trying to get another law changed and I I I now I want I want my son to grow up in a world where women are treated better so it used to be that you know I did everything for did everything for the women I did everything for the 16 year old me who didn't have you know kind of all these things put in place but now it's because I mean it's all those things too but it's now a lot of it is for my son I want my son to grow up in a world where where women are treated better and he can treat women better you know and yeah I think it's just everything now has become more about, yeah, more about this person that you've made and that you have to send off into the world with their little bag and their little apple on their first day at school.

46:57And, you know, it's up to you to kind of pave the way for them a little bit.

47:04I think people don't realize about, not only do they know you as this actor, this person, this comedian who, you know, you perform a lot of doing, you're now a mum, but also you you are a campaigner against sexual harassment and you and I have spoken about that before and you did the amazing documentary about it where I mean the amount of messages that you were getting from these just perverts sending their penises and things the whole time what is this new law you're trying to get changed? So this is the affirmative consent law What does that mean? So and this is why it's so difficult because people start going oh right so we now have to sign a contract before it's basically saying that the two parties that are involved in the sexual act have to confirm that they want to go ahead with it.

47:50And that sounds quite heavy, but it can be a simple case of, at the moment, right, men are having sex with women. This happens way too often. Women are waking up in the morning after, this is just one example. Women are waking up after a party, having had quite a lot to drink and going, he had sex with me and I didn't even know it was happening. I was passed out. I was passed out in a room. He came in and he had sex with me. Men are getting away with that because in the, a court of law says that it's so difficult to prove a negative. So they're, so they're saying they, they, at the moment, the law is you are able to say, well, she didn't say no.

48:28What I'm trying to have changed is yes, but did she say yes? And that is a, that would create a huge difference because at the moment men are getting away with, I'm not being funny, you know, having sex with a woman who is, say, passed out from being too drunk. Alcohol is always involved in these grey area, these stories. And they're scurrying off, pulling their kecks up, running off and kind of going, yeah, she didn't say no. They're getting away with that. And it's also, but it's also not just to completely vilify these men. It's to also, in a scenario where it's for both parties to confirm that they want to do this.

49:06To protect both sides. Yes, to protect both sides. And also, and people keep saying to me, right, and I was having a conversation with a guy, with a guy friend about this the other night. He was like, yeah, but it's your word against theirs. And I said, but that is such a privileged male position to come at it and go, but if it's your word against theirs. It's like, it's also, to change the attitudes is also really important. So like, at the moment, men do just get away with the fact that the abitians didn't say no. if it changes to yes but did she say yes it would hopefully make you go into that scenario sexual scenario differently thinking differently thinking well i had i'm gonna have to think about this a bit a bit more intelligently a bit harder because and also people it protects yeah it does and it's sort of at the moment this narrative that's pushed about women is that we're making it up all the time and that we're bullshitting so 3.2 percent of rape cases go to court and 1.3 percent of charges get convicted.

50:04It's something that low. Yeah, it's that low. But it is happening. It is happening. But isn't it funny how we immediately go to say that the woman is lying. It's like, yeah, but she's probably lying. She's probably lying. No, she probably isn't. It's very rare that women lie about this. It's just we've had it rammed down our throats that the women are making it up because of the law, because the men are getting away with it. If the law changes to be in more favor of the victim, then that completely, that doesn't just change the law. That changes people's attitudes towards it. Hopefully a male will go into that situation and go, do you know what?

50:38She's too pissed. I'm not, I can't do that. Or, or, and people keep saying, yeah, but it's going to, it will spoil the moment having to have that conversation. I'm like, hun, if it's with the right person, it won't spoil the moment. It will make sex better. Surely it'll make sex better. Nothing worse than waking up and going, oh my fucking God, I wish I didn't do that. Having, being in a situation, sex should be fun and good and enjoyed between two people and then wake up and go, great, do you want to do that again? Yes. You know, it's a change of... It's not just so that the affirmative consent law, it wouldn't just change the law.

51:13It would change people's attitudes and change this rhetoric that women are making it up. And can I ask you a personal question? And feel free not to answer, but have you ever been in situations which you have felt uncomfortable? Oh, my situations have only been uncomfortable. Really? Yeah, literally. Like, I honestly, I can only count on one hand probably where I've actually enjoyed sex. Really? Yeah. No fucking words? Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. And growing up, I'm sorry, but like growing up, like as a teenager, it was, it was, it was awful. Like, there were no barriers. There were no boundaries. There were no, nobody knew.

51:53Men, boys didn't know how to be with girls. Girls didn't know how to deal with those situations. It was, it was a mess. and I went through life thinking, you know, if you wake up after a night out and something has happened but you don't really remember it, you just have to suck it up and get on with it. It's like, there's no way anyone's going to, it's just not even worth going down that road of, but I don't remember. I don't remember any of that. I don't, you know, yeah, awful. I've woken up so many times and been like, I definitely didn't say yes to that. I've worked up, it's happened. And what do you feel?

52:24Do you feel shameful? Do you feel upset? Do you feel angry? But it's been so repressed for so long. We were taught for such a long time that that was kind of a normal way to have sex, that you wake up after a party and go, Jesus Christ, I don't really remember that. Anyway, and then you just kind of carry on. We're sort of taught that that was like normal. And so I've really sort of tried to, yeah, over the years, like I've tried to sort of go, because the problem is now, now we're all having the conversation more. People are coming out and going, oh, right, well, I was raped then. And it's very difficult to have to admit it to you.

52:59But also the reason why it's difficult as well for the men, men are getting angry because they're scared because so many men will listen to this sort of thing and go, I've done that before. There'll be men that are getting their kids' uniforms ready for school and they will listen to something like this and stop in their tracks and go, oh, fuck, I've done that before. And they probably regret it and feel really terrible about it. But to be told now that that was wrong and that actually that's now seen as rape, that's hard for people to digest because they know that they've done that somewhere in their lives.

53:34A lot of people. Loads of people. And that's why it's so difficult to go there. Yeah, when Catherine Rahn was on stage hosting this award, she said, you know, she spoke about in the Louis III documentary that someone in the world of comedy was inappropriate towards her. And she made very funny jokes about who it was. But then she said after that came out, she just got a whole bunch of messages from loads of guys saying, hey, Catherine, how are you? And she said, I handed it to my husband, Bobby, to ask what they wanted. And he just said, oh, they just want to know if they're okay. Yes, that's 100 % it.

54:08And, you know, there's this whole thing, like I said in the beginning, I said about how men are getting really angry and go, yeah, but I'm not a rapist. Why should I sort of all of a sudden have to feel worried about the things that I'm saying and the things that I'm doing? and it's like well first of all if you're not a pervert you're you know you're not a pervert you're all right you're you're a good guy but also if you just have to look inward a bit at your behaviors and and make some apologies and make some adjustments and and think about how you move forward that's that's that's good that's that's character building you know that we should have to look inward we've as women we've had to do it our entire lives as I said in the beginning so the fact that men are having to they just can't stand the fact that they they've been promised this whole, this world where they have all the power and now all of a sudden that power is being kind of shifted and removed and kind of saying, well, no, you can't behave like this.

55:00This is not right. This is not okay. And they're getting extremely defensive.

55:08Rivals is your new show that's out at the moment. It's based on a Jilly Cooper novel. And all I keep saying is that Apparently you're playing tennis naked. Yes. So, and do you know what's so funny is that when I read the script, I was like, oh my God, no. I was like, Mom, do you know what I have to do? I have to learn how to play tennis. That genuinely was what I was worried about. I read the script. I was like, yeah, she's playing naked tennis. No. Genuinely. I was like, oh my God, I'm going to have to play tennis. Luckily, I don't. Can I just say, what's so amazing, what is amazing about you is that you you have this sort of juxtaposing sort of criticism that you said throughout your life that people find you really hot and sexy and all these different things and people are saying these different things but you're still confident and you're okay to be naked and you're okay to talk about these that's brilliant.

56:02Yeah because I think there's just a point where you have to kind of take it back, take back what's been taken from you and kind of own it and you know my sexuality has been owned by everyone else for years and to be able to take that back and take ownership again of that is really liberating and powerful. So to run around a tennis court to feel, you know, I'm at work. I'm exactly where I should be. I'm playing a role. I've learnt my lines, sort of. You know, I'm there. I'm at work. I'm safe. We've got intimacy coordinators now making us feel better. I'm with Alex Hassel playing Rupert Campbell Black, who was the most lovely, gorgeous person ever.

56:39You know, the crew were amazing. We're all getting on. We're having a nice time. I'm exactly where I need to be doing what I should be doing. So it's other people's behaviors that need to be looked at, not mine. I will run around that tennis court with my baps out for as long as they will have me doing it. That take after take after take until it is right, because it's an integral part to the story. It's such an important scene. It's very famous scene in the book. And, you know, all these, we're not just getting our kit off for no reason. These are integral. Yeah, they're integral to the stories and they segue into other things, into other parts of the story it's it's really important to get it right and so it's not me going oh look at me I've got my tits out on a tennis court it's look at me I'm in a Disney Jilly Cooper amazing show with David Tennant and Aidan Turner and Danny Dyer look at me it's not the other thing you know your energy is always amazing and being around you is so fun and you've always been generous and you've always just been kind and just just a great laugh as well you really are and I'm so happy that you're happy and you've got your baby and you've got your partner and you're working and you look so beautiful.

57:42Thank you. All right, you pervert. I know, sorry. Shit. But I really am and you're just amazing. Thank you. We like to finish the episode with eight questions. Yes. Are you ready for this? Yeah. Are they quick fire or no? You can do whatever you want. Okay, okay. You can make them quick fire, you can make them longer. All right. What's a saying or phrase that always makes you smile or cheers you up? If you love someone, let them sleep. It's actually unbelievable. do you know what I mean there's two types of people in life there's the partner that comes in and tries to fucking wake you up and rustles around and bangs things and bangs drawers and going are you going to get up now are you going to get up now or there's the partner that just lets you fucking sleep until 11 and go you just go back to sleep and that is the person you should stay with best compliment anyone's ever given you I like it when people compliment my cooking I'm a good cook I get really favourite dish you like cooking at the moment I do this really nice it sounds really boring it's butter beans you really like it don't you Mar she just gave a nod she's giving a real good nod butter beans with like lemon olive oil loads of parsley and then you put a piece of fish on top but you sort of marinate the fish I see butter beans everywhere at the moment and they come in a jar you look like a little butter bean I know but I see them everywhere they come in like a big jar they're really nice and they fill you up alright I might chill them out what scares you most about yourself my high constitution for alcohol Nothing will get me down.

59:09Honestly. Can you take it? Can you take it? There could be someone with a tranquilizer gun full of booze and I will not, and I could have been boozing all day at a bottomless brunch and you couldn't take me down. I would, you're never. Martha, can you confirm? Yeah. It makes drinking habits worse. If you have a high constitution, you're better off having a really, you're being a lightweight and going, oh, I can't, no, because I can't. Everyone's always like, do you want one more? Yes. I can take it. I will never say no. brilliant when was the last time you cried and why I cry every single day looking at my child I literally cry every day as soon as his gummy little face smiles at me I'm like and he had his jabs the other day and I nearly had a breakdown apparently that's awful oh my god no apparently it's really really bad I kicked I ended up kicking the car because the car why because you're so angry yeah no because so he was like he just had his jabs and I was like oh my god my baby my baby and he was in the car and then I had to get out of the car and hold him for something.

1:00:07And then the radio came on really loudly and it like woke him up and I kicked the fucking car. So angry, isn't it? Yeah, I was so angry and I've dented the Tesla. Sorry, Al. What's something you can't let go of? Do you know, I was thinking about this. I still can't let go of the fact that Christmas isn't what it was when you were a kid. I keep thinking about this. It's brilliant. That's my favourite answer. Yeah, like I can't let it go. And I think I've been thinking about it so much because I've just had a baby so I'm hoping it comes back. But I'm a bit traumatised by Christmas because I keep thinking about how amazing it was when you're little and that feeling, that nostalgia feeling.

1:00:42And then it goes away when you get older and you're just hungover throughout the whole of Christmas and everything's all a bit colder and it's just not as warm and fuzzy and lovely anymore. And it's stressful and shit. And yeah, I just can't let it go. I'm like, and there's a reason why every year as adults, the same with birthdays, we'll put a party hat on and open presents because we all want to feel like those children again. And this year I'm really hoping that Christmas is like, I get that nostalgia back because I've now got a little baby that I can dress up as a pudding. Trigger warning for anyone who has little kids in the car right now or someone that's listening to it.

1:01:15So press pause right now. Yeah, I know what you're going to say. When I found out that Santa wasn't real. You can't say that anymore apparently. Oh, you can't? Apparently you're really not allowed to. Why not? Because he is real. Okay, fine. When I found out Santa was real, I was going to Toys R Us. so I was in a real excitement mode and I said to my mum I went oh do you think Santa's gonna get me and she looked a bit weird at me and I went wait is Santa real and she went and then you knew and then everything is fucked from then on that's when my childhood ended yeah it does I grew a beard the next day my balls dropped I became a man I went to go to a job yeah exactly and then you start drinking at Christmas Start the drinking, smoking at Christmas.

1:02:01Yeah, exactly. And so with Barney now, I'm just going to feed him that beautiful, beautiful lie for as long as he will believe it. Because you're so good at impressions, would you ever dress up as Santa and pretend you're Santa? Oh God, I don't think anyone needs to see that. Honestly, my body at the moment does look like Santa's body. No, you look beautiful. No, it does. I always say I look like Mrs. Doubtfire in the rubber suit. You know, like, I do. I keep saying it and I've got to stop saying it because now everyone... Yes. You know that bit where he's got the thing on and those kids are laughing at the window and then he turns around and he's got it on.

1:02:33That is literally what my body looks like right now. What's something you'd be embarrassed for people to know you like or want? I, on nights out, oh God, we were laughing about this the other day. So I had a dinner party recently and we all ended up singing around the piano. And it's one of those things I always end up full, top of my lungs fucking singing. I love singing, right? I'm a good singer. it's a little party trick of mine but the next day after I do a bit of a singing sesh around the piano and I've been pissed the embarrassment I may as well have woken up and had a one night stand that's how I feel I feel so embarrassed that I have and I know at the time I know at the time when I'm really like going for it I know that it's going to make me feel horrendous the next day but it just spurs me on and I'm just like What are you singing?

1:03:23What aren't I singing? I sing everything it's the Céleines it's the Whitley and at the time oh you go for the big ones yeah but I always I always say to everyone I'm always pissed I'm like phones away phones away no no phones away and like when people start feeling I'm like no no because I know it's going to sound really shit on the phone I know and then I wake up the next day and I said to Al my partner I looked at him the other day when I woke up and I was like oh my god oh no oh no and he was like what's happened I was like I was singing last night it was night and he was like yeah no it was really good and I was like no no Honestly, I actually wish that I'd woken up and done something really horrendous.

1:04:00Yeah, because that's how it felt, the embarrassment. It's like when you go in the shower and you remember it and you try and wash it off. Oh my God, it's just... And people go, oh, you got a set of lungs on you. And you're like, no, no, no, no. Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it. What turns you off? Just like shit crack and just like, just like shit, shit comments. And vibes. Yeah, just shit vibes. Like if you're going to, you know, if you're going to bring something to the table, like just, yeah. Bring that energy. Bring that fun. Bring that positivity. Be nice. Don't be a twat. Love that.

1:04:35Yeah. What turns you on? Well, it used to be, you know, kind of, actually, no, I am going to say it. Magic Mike, the show. And I'm just going to say, my idea of the perfect evening is going to watch Magic Mike on my own. I want to watch Magic Mike by myself. I don't want screaming, shouting, oh my God. Like, I want to watch it like I'm watching Les Mis. I want to really study it and really watch it. Like every year on my birthday, like the clock's ticking. I'm like, why isn't a stripper come yet? I get the stripper. I'm sorry. I'm one of those people. I get the stripper thing. I get it. It's like, I really get it.

1:05:17Some girls on Hendrix, they're like mortified. They can't believe a stripper. I'm waiting every year. I'm waiting, I'm like, guys, it's nearly not my birth, it's nearly not my birthday anymore, it's nearly the next, why haven't I had a stripper yet? No luck. So good. What do you like most about yourself? The fact that I can now say I'm a really good mother, and I never thought, there was a time in my life I never thought I'd get to say those words, and I think I'm a good mum, whatever that means. I mean, I love my child more than anything in the world, and I just give, I will give him the best life possible and I'll do my best.

1:05:56Yeah. And I think I've really sort of surprised myself there. I like that about myself. And it makes you, God, it makes you look at yourself so differently. And you know in your heart, you're like, no, I'm good at this. Yeah. And I look at my Mrs. Doubtfire roly-poly body and I'm just like, yeah, but it birthed him. That was Barney's house. I can never look in the mirror again and go, I fucking hate him. Oh, God, I'm so fat. I'm so gross. That's Barney's house. It's his house. It's his house. He grew. That's a wonderment. That's how he grew. Oh, God, he's so cute. He stinks of cheese. You said he stinks.

1:06:30He does. He smells like derrily triangles at the minute. You said that in his throat, you think it curdles or something? Yeah, the milk dribbles out of his mouth, and then it gets stuck in the cracks of his neck and sort of caramelizes a bit. And then, yeah, he stinks of baked camembert. Bonus one. Favorite swear word?

1:06:53I can't say cunt can I I'm one of those I'm one of those I just nothing can offend me really no sorry I'm a feminist I shouldn't say cunt no I like a good one nowadays I like just oh shut up you tosser I like calling someone a tosser you know and they're not quite they're not because to be a cunt you've got to be a real fucking cunt but if you're just a bit of a tosser I think that's worse it's like it's like you're not even worth that grand word like you're not even worth it's like you're just a bit of a tosser and thank you so much what a word to end on thank you so much thank you

1:07:35that was so good I loved every second really? yeah so good I loved all her rants I was clicking in the background yes Listen, I think giving space for women to discuss whatever they want in those areas that men have no clue about I think is brilliant I don't know about these things I don't understand it I don't understand what it's like to breastfeed or to be wolf-whistled in the street I don't get these things and so to express and make me understand is an amazing thing to be able to do Yeah, and she's very articulate and puts her point across very, very well and in a very entertaining way She's very funny as well She's really funny Talking about some quite serious things, but always, I don't know, a joy to listen to.

1:08:19Really enjoyed that. Any notes? No, I think you were brilliant. I love that you lent into the silliness. That is, well, from you, producer, by the way. So thank you very much for allowing me to do that. Well, thank you for getting back in touch with your silly side. There you go. Hey, listen, if you would like to get in touch about anything, we'd love to hear from you at Great Company Podcast on Instagram. Or you can send us an email, greatcompany at jampaproductions.co.uk. Everything is in the show description. you can also please if you could follow or subscribe to the show it does us absolute wonders and we're also on YouTube please go and check us out what?

1:08:51Listener when Jamie was doing that he had his eyes closed I did I know I don't know why he was imagining you all subscribing and what joy he would have it made me feel so much better okay listen we're going to leave you there but we're going to be back next week for another episode of Great Company Great Company

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