JANETTE MANRARA: Losing Out on the Strictly Job Has Changed How I See Rejection

0:00I just went through the biggest rejection of my career. I've sobbed for weeks, I'm not going to even begin to lie. It is probably the biggest job on TV, the host Strictly Come Dancing. I remember coming home and it was a really hard pill to swallow. When you just put it on paper, you assume, okay, I've got a shot because all the pieces were there. When they tell you don't get the job, what did you want to do? I mean... I would be fucked off. Can I ask you about the controversy with Strictly? Which one? Some professionals being too potentially aggressive with their training tactics I'll start by saying this Hi, I'm Jeanette Munrara and I'm in great company The pocket rocket of the ballroom Put your hands together for Jeanette I just knew I wanted to entertain I don't know if I'd be here or doing the things that I'm doing Without the support of my family, my husband What is it like competing against Aliash?

0:54My first year on Strictly, we were in the dance-off every single week. When he won, I was so happy. I screamed. At least one of us brought it home, right? And I'm like, damn it, it wasn't me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You became a mom at 39. I came off contraception and I had this stupid idea in my head that it was going to happen in 2.5 seconds. I started IVF Journey. We're doing this because we want more love in our life, not because we lack love in our life. It's so bizarre because once we started the IVF Journey, Lyra ended up coming naturally. A lot of who you are and who you become in life matters massively on where you're born.

1:29You feel a bit like an imposter. I've experienced American, I've experienced British, but I've not experienced Cuban. Have you gone back to Cuba? No. That is kind of like my biggest goal in life is to go. Yeah. Why does that make you emotional?

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3:41Jeanette Munrara is on the show, guys. We cannot wait. Strictly Come Dancing legend. She's actually just left. She was in the lineup to host the actual Strictly show. She didn't quite get it. And she opens up about that on the episode today, plus so much more. It's a really amazing episode. Now, before we start, as our community, you guys are incredible. We want to hear more from you. So we want to know what you want to see more of. Is it better guests? Is it different parts of the show? Is it more of me? Whatever it is, let us know in the show comments, because we're going to copy that. We're going to follow that.

4:10We're going to use that. Okay. And before we start, just one other quick thing if you can please click that subscribe button it's completely free it does us wonders and you can join our amazing community all right here we go enjoy this incredible episode of great company with Jeanette Marara so your your tiredness levels you're good I'm great you're amazing you always have the best no you know why because I I've just not slept for three years and I'm used to it now so now you just get on with it she still doesn't sleep in the night so it's fine I think I've just cracked on Also Fun fact If you partied hard Before you became a parent It's easier Thank you That's why That's why I think I can take it Actually In my 20s I didn't sleep at all But we're like At least now we wake up And we're not hungover In your eyes What makes a good coffee?

4:57I like creamy coffee So what does your coffee order? At the moment Almond milk Cappuccino Hello Yeah I know Who am I? But I do love A café bustelo Oh I'm getting Cuban now Okay you get Cuban You need to have a proper Cuban coffee someday. I promise. You actually don't need it now that I'm thinking about it. It is so strong. It's like 50 % sugar. So how do you say it in… Café Guano. Café Guano. Café Guano. That's it. And it's that good? And it's that amazing. But I only have those on like the sleepless, sleepless nights that I get with Lyra. Those nights, those mornings, I'll have a Cuban coffee.

5:31So how many do you have in a day? I have two. Maybe three on a bad day. But max, maybe. Yeah, three. Lyra's your daughter? She's my daughter. She just turned three. What the actual F, man. I have a three-year-old child. I sometimes still look at her and I go, how am I a mother? Who gave me that responsibility? What do you think? If you look at Jeanette before your baby and after, what's the difference? I love this question because I do genuinely feel I'm the most version of myself I have ever been. Explain. Before you become a parent, and this is like, I think everybody's journey is totally different.

6:07Sure. This is just mine. Before I became a mom, I was always kind of like, go with the flow, have fun, go on the nights out, do my own things, career, travel, do this, do that. But there was an element of like, but who am I really? Like, who am I? What am I going to bring to the table to this world and to the planet that we live in? You know, or to my relationship with Aliash, my husband, or as a daughter. And you would consciously think that or no? Yeah, I would. I'm a deep thinker. You would really? So you would… Yeah. Because I think that. But I think that's my problem, maybe our problem. I overthink sometimes.

6:39And I would do that a lot before I became a mother. And then after I became a mother, you don't have time to overthink. There's no time. And in a lot of ways, I now feel more like myself than I have ever felt in my life. Because I know, I think I know exactly who I am and what I believe in and where I want to go and where I've been and what I want to raise her like and what I want to teach her about. And all those kind of big conversations of like, well, what is it to be human? You know, and I'm getting to do that with her now. And I can't teach that to someone if I don't know it for myself first.

7:09I think I'm starting to feel the same. You stop caring about the outside world as much. You care about your world, which is here, which is really important. So you basically, in my version and my personal journey, stop caring as much what people think. Yes. Which is a great thing. And you do, you start living more authentically yourself because you're living for yourself rather than for what other people you want to be perceived as. Exactly. Which is kind of a beautiful way that you start to live. You start to be like, oh, you feel happier. Yeah. I mean, exhausted. But happier, exactly that, because you just don't have time to think about who you are.

7:43You only have time to give this precious thing the best version of you to give them the best chance at life. So when you were growing up, what did you want to achieve? What did you want to do? So when I was little, I was very bossy and I would put shows on for my family all the time. I didn't know what I wanted to do specifically. Like I didn't say I want to be a singer. I want to be an actor. I want to be. I just knew I wanted to entertain. I liked putting on shows. Because it was the attention that you got. As well as the kind of art of it. I don't know. I was three. I think maybe at the time attention.

8:18I just liked the attention. But then also I liked kind of picking the costumes. And what's the story we're going to tell today. And then as I got older I fell more and more in love with like the story side of all of it. And then when I was 12 I got a job actually on a TV show called Sabado Gigante. which is Sábado Gigante Giant Saturday it's like a variety show it's like Sunday night the Palladium kind of thing where they just like did a bit of everything and they had a segment where kids would come on and like sit and talk with the host and we'd do like shows and performances and like it was only a segment but it was on every Saturday so I was a part of that show so I've been doing television since I was 12 which is quite wild and I remember just thinking I don't know what I'm gonna do or where it's gonna go but I like this world of, you know, entertaining and singing and dancing and acting.

9:07And I just thought, I didn't want to box myself either. I think as always as a kid, I liked ballet and then I liked jazz and then I liked to sing and then I liked to dance and then I liked to tell stories. And then I was a bit like here, there and everywhere. Maybe some form of ADHD and I didn't know it. But hang on, because I had a rumor that you planned to go into finance first. I did. So, and what I need, what I need, because you went to the University of Florida, right? Yeah, Florida International University. Florida International University. Your parents, were they happy for you to go down a road of this like uncertainty?

9:38Or did they want you to go down a road? They said plan A, plan B. Right. Plan A, go for gold. Go for gold. Chase those big dreams. Don't stop. Plan B though, have a backup plan. Because if it doesn't work out, you still got to pay the bills someday in life. That's such great advice. Yeah. So it was plan A, plan B. And plan A was the dream. Plan B was like, okay, what else can I do that'll just give me stability in life? Or that if it doesn't work out, I can come back to it. And that was finance. And that was finance. I was really smart in school. Not smart in life, but I was like math smart, nerdy smart.

10:14So I got a full scholarship. I graduated with a 4.0 GPA, top of my class. Get out of here. Sorry, what? You nerd. That's unbelievable. I was a nerd. I am a nerd because I still like learning. That's unbelievable. But I graduated top of the class, which meant I can go to any public university in the whole southeastern hemisphere of the US, which is cool. But I remember I turned 18. Did you have a boyfriend or anything at the time? Lots. That's a book. Is it really? Ali Ash is very lucky.

10:49When you go to uni, I don't know if it's the same here, you have to kind of put, well, what's your major? What do you want to do? Yeah, sort of, yeah. I got there and I was like, well, I don't know. that's just got really good grades. And I remember thinking, well, I'm really good at math. And then my aunt at the time, two of my aunts were all working, were both working at a bank. So they were like, well, look, if you want to start working and make your own money and you are going to university anyways, why don't you start working at the bank? You can have a bit of a job there and then you can go to university.

11:15And I was like, okay. But then the job that I got ended up being a full-time job. It was eight to five, eight to six, Monday through Friday. And my parents were like, if you're going to do that, than maybe focus on something that is in relation to the job that you have. So I was like, okay, well, if I'm working in finance at a bank, I might as well get a degree in finance. You know, talk about sliding doors. I wonder what that Jeanette would have been like because I didn't finish my bachelor's degree, which is always a big regret of mine that I didn't finish it. But it's only because dancing took off.

11:45So what was the sliding door moment? The sliding door moment was when So You Think You Can Dance came along in the USA and I auditioned and I got it. But I remember - And how old are you? I was 23, which is older. But you started dancing probably when you were 19, right? Yeah. So I was doing musical theater and TV work when I was a kid first. So dancing was like we'd have ballet like one hour a week. And then maybe like movement for actors kind of stuff or whatever we were doing. And then the guy that ran the dance program with the musical theater school opened up a dance school when I was 18.

12:18And he was like, you can really dance. You should really pursue this seriously. And I was like, okay. Because you could just move? No, I could move, but I wasn't very technical. Like I could never do what are called pirouettes or go on my releve or have a good turnout. I wasn't technically great. I just was salsa. But he was like, you can do this if you put yourself to it. And I remember going, gosh, I'm almost 19 now. Like how am I going to make a career out of dancing? Is that late? So I understand. Very late. So what would someone… So Darcy Bustle started dancing ballet, I assume, at the age of like five.

12:57Ali Ash did a frame of ballroom when he was three. You know what I mean? So it's like, I'm a bit of a late bloomer. And I remember going… That's talent. That's natural talent. Yeah. It must be. And lunacy. And drive. It's drive, lunacy. It's all of that combined. So I knew that I wanted to keep doing something. I got the university degree. I got the job at the bank. So I was like, when and how am I going to do this? So I remember from 18 to 23, I had zero life because I was working normal nine to five job at the bank, going to university every evening. I remember I planned it out so I can squish like three hours of classes right after work.

13:38So I had two days in the week at least that I can go to dance. And then on Saturdays, I would spend from like 8 a.m., 9 a.m. in the morning to like 2 or 3 p.m. in the afternoon in the dance studio. Wow. And that was just for me, dancing became more than like what I wanted to do in my life. It became my therapy to cope with exams and work and everything that I had going on in my life at the time. But then when So You Think You Could Dance came to Miami, I was 20. Actually, the first time, I think I was 22. I flew actually to audition somewhere in the East Coast. I can't remember where it was. And I got all the way to the top like 100 and then to the top.

14:15How many people? Thousands. I mean just in the city that I went in there was 1 ,000 people that went to audition. Oh my god. And I got to the top 100 that get flown then to Las Vegas. And then out of those 100 they pick like the top 30. And then out of the top 30 they pick the top 20 that actually get on the show. The first time around I got to top 30. And I thought I had it. And they were filming me so much. And I was like… Yeah. I walked into the room and I was like… It's time to say that. Hey. Don't worry about it. Exactly. I was like, I'm getting this. See you, everybody on TV. I was calling my family going, guys, get ready.

14:54This is going to be the most epic reveal. But then I didn't get it. Bring me back to that moment. What is it? Oh, it was the first hard, hard hitting kind of obvious no of my life. Because at the time, I wasn't really auditioning. I was working. I was dancing. I had big eyes, big dreams. And I was like, this is my moment. And because I got that close to the final like selection of the people that would get on the show, I was optimistic. And I just thought I had it. And you know how the TV world works. They love a bit of drama. So because I had the cameras on me all the time, I assumed it's in the bag.

15:31Because little did I know I was going to be the sob story of the episode. So it was really a big lesson in like what it feels like to go for something and not get it. And also, I imagine you were that little girl performing, your parents loving it. you're the best, you're the best, you're achieving everything in life. Yeah. So everything is like… Everything's been great. Everything's great. I can get this. I can do this. I can date. Everything. Nothing. And then you get bang. That no. Massive no. And it's confusing that. Very hard to swallow. Very difficult to come out of. Because my brain and my ego was so big.

16:07Because everything had been going great. In terms of my career and school and everything. And I was dancing really well. like I was at one of the peak of my dancing career, really. So I just thought I had it in the bag and then it just didn't happen. And I remember feeling really, really depressed, actually, because I had to go back to work at the bank. And like, imagine going from like this dream opportunity to be in LA dancing every day on the TV show to, hey, hi, so how do you want to handle your mortgage this week? It was really hard, really hard. And I remember thinking the only way I can survive how I feel is if I just kept dancing.

16:44So I think I danced more than ever when that no came. But not because I wanted to go anywhere or get a goal. It was my therapy to survive. To survive having to put a brave face on and go back to my normal life and not get the dream that I wanted. It was really tough. You know, I feel so sorry for people who have done X Factor or Pop Idol or The Voice or whatever. And you have that moment of like, this is the dream, here I am. And then boom, and it's back to reality. it's like when you're in that moment, the lights are on and everyone's there. And you're like, this is amazing. Amazing, amazing.

17:21And then when it stops, it's like someone turns the lights off. You're still in the room. Exactly. And no one's really watching you. But no one cares. I think that was the hardest bit because no one cares because they're like, move on. We've got things to do. People have things. We've got show to do, job to do. Like nobody cares. And you're like, but hang on a second. I care. I care. And why does no one care? Because I cared this much. Yeah. But like I said, my saving grace was I just kept dancing. So if someone's listening now and they're dealing with rejection, right? Maybe it's in a relationship or maybe it's in work or maybe it's an opportunity that you missed.

17:50What advice would you give that person? Well, I would say, number one, just take it one day at a time. I know it's like the cliche things to say and do. But, you know, feelings do change, you know. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, especially after becoming a mom, sometimes it's even one hour at a time, you know. Like be gracious with the way that you feel because it's okay to feel like that and not try and everything's fine. That's the worst thing you can do. I say, I'm fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Actually talk about it, embrace it and put it, put all those feelings out because then slowly you start seeing them as a part outside of you and you go, oh, okay, I can get past this slowly and at my own speed, but I can get past it because it then becomes something that is not you.

18:36It's something you've experienced it But it's not who you are Ah man I love it And also it's okay to be in that position It's okay to feel sorry for yourself for a bit It's okay to be upset It's okay to be upset And it's okay to talk about it Yes exactly And you go through those emotions right Because when you get through those layers You process it Fine fine fine fine You don't really process that rejection And rejection is hard Well I just I mean Jamie I just went through the biggest rejection of my career If I'm honest And I had to remind myself Oddly enough of how I felt when that happened when I was 23.

19:08Because obviously with Strictly Come Dancing, I hosted It Takes Two. And there was like a journey there that I thought was going to come for me and come my way. I was in the chemistry tests and I did really well in the chemistry tests. At least that's what I was told. So I assumed I did a great job. And it was fascinating to kind of, obviously didn't get the job and they went elsewhere. But I remember coming home and it was a really hard pill to swallow because I've read recently that in life, you work really hard and you put everything into something and it looks like it should be yours and you feel like you deserve it.

19:43And yes, maybe you feel you deserve it, but no one is owed anything in life. You know, that entitlement does not belong to me to feel like I'm owed a job or a position or a spot in a show or whatever. But the honesty of going through that heartache that I went through when I was 23, I felt it again now at 42. And it just goes to show you that life really does flow like waves. You have ups and downs and you have moments and it's never going to be smooth sailing. And sometimes I felt like I was able to cope with this rejection better because I had felt a level of rejection. And that was when I was 23, but there was lots more after that.

20:21But I was better prepared to cope with it because I understood, okay, I'm going to grieve. I'm going to be sad and I'm going to be absolutely gutted. But eventually I will come out the other side and I will look back and be like, everything happens for a reason. 100%. So this is the host Strictly Come Dancing. So Tess and Claudia said that they were leaving. You know, it's probably the biggest job on TV in a way. Yeah, a Saturday night primetime entertainment show. Saturday night primetime entertainment show, BBC. And look, if I'm honest, I thought you, you know, knowing you and seeing what you had done and hosting the thing felt like you were a frontrunner.

20:59Yeah, and I think I felt like I was a frontrunner. You know, I went from being a professional dancer for eight years on the show. Then I became the host of It Takes Two for five years. And at the same time, hosted the Strictly Live tour for five years. And in the Strictly Live tour, I play both Tess and Claudia with all the judges and the couples. Because, you know, when we go on tours Strictly, we take all the couples that did the live TV show and we go on the road with them with the judges. So you're in essence watching the show. You're just not seeing them with Tess and Claudia. You're seeing it with me hosting it.

21:30So when you just put it on paper, you assume, okay, I've got a shot because all the pieces were there. Unfortunately, they just decided to go elsewhere. And of course, it hit hard. Of course, I was devastated. I remember because Zoe Ball, we've been speaking a lot and Fleur, we've been speaking a lot. And we all feel like we've gone through the seven stages of grief we say about not getting the job. but ultimately I have to understand I'm in an industry that is very very fickle it changes constantly and I can't hold any personal feelings towards decisions that were made that are for the best of the show you know and for the future of the show the only thing I will say that gave me power or a sense of like getting my power back was that I was a professional dancer on Strictly seven years ago.

22:21And in seven years, I have gone from being a dancer on the show to hosting Morning Live, hosting It Takes Two, hosting the Strictly Live tour and putting myself in a room against names like Emma Willis, Rylan Clark, Zoe Ball, like all of them that you've seen that have spoken out about being in the chemistry test. I was one of them. So if I can take anything away from it. It's not that I didn't get the job. What I am taking away from it is that actually, I've done a bloody good job in the last seven years with honing my craft of presenting and understanding the TV world and the business of how things fun.

22:58Another job will come. Something else in the TV world will come. And actually, there's been a lot of things I have wanted to do that I never could do because I just didn't have the time because I was doing strictly. By the way, you're so great. And like that is, it's so good because that's actually your mindset. But it's also like in the way you've been trained. I would be fucked off. I would, those motherfuckers. I'm just going to put it out there. We can sit there and be like, it's great for the show. I would say, you motherfuckers. I know I would kick butt in that. I would be freaking great.

23:39And I was ready for it. And I felt like I was promised some shit. The thing is I was never promised anything. I get you weren't. But you know what I mean. I was never promised anything. And Aliyash is still… You're so sweet and you're amazing. And I love it. And I think you're great. But listen… I'm saying what I would say this is not… I'm not putting words in your mouth. I would be fucked up. And that's the words that I would use in the email. I'll be honest with you. I was super devastated. I was really sad. It was just bizarre. Do you think you did well? I don't know. Clearly not. Yeah, obviously you didn't.

24:12Obviously I did. No, but you would have done because you're so professional. I was really nervous. Can I ask a personal question? You don't have to because I understand. And I understand you… I want to say, Jeanette, you are probably the most professional person I know. Oh, I'm saying a lot about the media. No, but listen. In a great… You're so… Listen, you are the funnest. But you also have an element of like… You're professional, right? So I know you're probably trying to say these things. But when they tell you don't get the job, do they email? Do they speak to you? Do they phone you? Or do you just hear it?

24:44They called everybody's agents. They handled it very professionally. So they called everybody's agents and they said yes or no. Everybody on the same day got the yes or the no. And then they said, you know, we're going to let her sit with it. And if she really wants to speak, we're here. We can speak with her. And I have to say immediately, Monday morning, I had the weekend to sob and cry. And I sobbed for weeks. I'm not going to even begin to lie. Like I was devastated. I called them the next day on the Monday. They were just there for me. and ultimately they said you were brilliant we loved you I can't tell you why I think you know sometimes I would hate to be in that position to pick the next person to host that show I think it's a very very tough choice so I'm very empathetic and kind to and also very aware that it's business you know as much as I love things and I love them and I love the show it's so at the end of the day business they need to make choices that are tough choices and it just didn't go my way you know what and it's hosting is Josh Whittacom Emma Willis and Johannes.

25:42Brilliant, by the way. Yeah, amazing. Those three… I messaged Johannes when it got announced. And I remember saying to him, listen, I am so damn happy for you because this guy has worked so hard his whole life. He's a beautiful human. And he's such an amazing human being. And I think the idea that we have someone like Johannes hosting Saturday night primetime television is so powerful and so beautiful. Do you know what's incredible what people don't realize about dancers like you and like Johannes? You know, I'm sure he went, but Johannes, his story growing up in a township in South Africa and the hardship that he had and then doing what he is doing now.

26:26People see shiny dancers on stage. They don't realize. They don't realize the hard work. The hard work. Which is exactly what Johannes wrote back to me. He just said to me, I just want to thank you. And, you know, I can't remember exactly. But he said, I just want to thank you for paving the way to show that dancers are more than dancers on Strictly. It was a tough moment, but I'm on the other side, which is great.

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27:29You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. That sound could mean a lot of things.

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29:21You became a mom at 39, right? 39, yeah. 39 years old, which is like later in life, right? And part me, you know, I'm 37, right? And I had Ziggy 37 years old. There is something about having kids younger because you're less, you're more naive. You're not stuck in your routine as much. And when I had Ziggy, my baby at like 37, I was a bit like, oh my god, this is like a shock because I can't go to the gym. My routines change. Did you have that? No, because I had no routine. I literally just talked about this with a friend of mine recently about the difference between like my mother, for example, she had me when she was 18 years old.

29:56She's very, very young. And I saw the hardship and everything that she went through in so many ways. And my dad, they were both only 18. So I kind of had this thing in my head like, that's not what I want. I want to live my life. I want to see the world. I want to be everywhere and do everything. And I want to like really follow my career passions and just do the things that I love. And children and family will come just later. I wasn't even thinking about them at that point. and I have to say I feel personally for me like I made the right choice in that because now as a mother I have zero resentment of my life before her you know I did everything that I wanted to do I went to all the nightclubs I traveled the world with Ali actually went on a world tour together we would never be able to do that as parents it's very I mean possible but harder and now if I have to stay in or if I'm missing a dinner if I'm missing a weekend with the girls or if I don't really care it's fine That is so refreshing to hear.

30:53It's so amazing. And you should sing that from the rooftops because I think women feel a real sense of pressure, especially when they hit their 30s maybe. Yeah, it's just the biological clock, you know. Totally. And every woman's body is different, you know. I was at a certain physical level at 39 that might be very different to another woman at 39. So I did a lot of tests. I checked myself to make sure that I could wait and do the things that I needed to do in my life before I wanted to have children. But then in saying that, I started trying to get pregnant when I was 37. And I remember because I came off contraception and I had this stupid idea in my head that it was going to happen in 2.5 seconds.

31:30Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because you're so scared of falling pregnant your whole life. And they're like, oh, take this thing out. It'll be fine. The baby's going to come tomorrow. Can we bring it back? And it was two years and I still wasn't pregnant. And I started IVF journey and it's so bizarre because once we started the IVF journey, Lyra ended up coming naturally so it's like you can't plan you really can't plan anything you can only be cautious and make smart choices to kind of prepare you for whatever that future might look like for you but I do think that there is something to be said about experiencing life in your 20s in your 30s and going for gold and just living your life the best that you can so that when your child comes you are ready to be the best possible person for that child because you're happy For me, what got me through it is just that feeling of I want to be a mother and I want to have a child and I want to raise a little human.

32:27But if I can't, then I will do everything in my power to make sure that whatever I do on this earth is of value to other people in some shape or form. To give service back somehow. Because for me, having Lyra and bringing her into the world and raising her to become what I hope or I think is a good person is leaving behind something wonderful for the world, you know? If you can't do that through your own child and your own experience, I kept telling myself, I'll find another way to do something wonderful to help and create magic in the world that we live in. Aliash and I, to be honest, just in general in life, he is my best friend.

33:03So I think both of us just being really conscious of each other's emotions and being sensible to that and having really open and honest conversations. You know, there were many times when he said, baby, you're going to be fine. This is all going to work out one way or another. Don't put pressure on yourself. It'll all work out. And then vice versa. Me to him, I would say, look, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. We have each other and it's not the end of the world. We're doing this because we want more love in our life, not because we lack love in our life. And it is what it is, you know?

33:32That was for us The kind of saving grace That we wanted to be parents But if we could not become parents It wasn't the end all of our life You know We still had each other Are you close to your parents? Extremely close Like almost Embarrassingly close to my parents They're kind of my best friends After Aliash I call them for anything Mom and dad? Mom and dad For different reasons And then both of them at the same time We're just so so close My mom and my dad were very young Like I said They were 18 when I was born. So I've always kind of had this more like older brother and sister relationship with them than I did like parent relationship with them.

34:09They went through such a hard time to… But like what? What struggles did they have? So they're Cuban. They were born in Cuba. My dad and his sister and his brother, same with my mom and their siblings. They had the most… I mean, I feel like you could write a movie on what happened to them to leave Cuba. So my dad left Cuba through a very similar system than my mom did. At the time, the government was giving these kind of visas to families if they wanted to leave Cuba. You could leave Cuba, but you had to turn over your land and your house and your belongings to the government, and you can take all your clothes with you.

34:45But furniture, the house, the land, anything that you owned equity-wise, the government kept, and you were free to go if you wanted to, just with the clothes in your bag. So my mom and dad both did it separately. My dad went to Spain, and in Spain, the Catholic Church at the time had a really incredible system to help refugee families from Cuba come over and stay there. And my dad and his brother and my grandfather were selling cardboard boxes that they would just buy from behind. They would just steal them from behind the supermarket and sell them for like 25 pence or whatever it was to just kind of have some money to get stuff within the refugee camp that they were in in Spain.

35:24Wow. And then my mom, this is the wilder one, mom went to Costa Rica. And in Costa Rica, they stayed there in some family friend's house that they had all in one room. But my mom is my mom and three siblings and my grandparents. So it was, my math is six of them in the one room. And then my mom and her two brothers and her sister, the four of them, I can't believe I'm saying this. They went on a speedboat that was trafficking drugs into the state of Florida at the time. So basically, they started then human trafficking. They started taking these refugees and they just started taking all their money and sending them into the USA and just like dropping them off in the water.

36:04But at the time, if you landed in the USA and you were Cuban, you had freedom to stay. Now it's very different. As soon as your feet touched the sand in the 1980s, you were allowed to stay. You could stay. But now it's obviously changed a lot. So my mom and her siblings, without their parents, went on this crazy speedboat to Miami. Ended up landing in Miami. They had one quarter and one paper with a number on it that my grandmother said, call this number as soon as you get there from any payphone. And they had to just find a payphone from the beach to call that number. With one quarter? With one quarter, yeah.

36:36That's all they had? All they had, I swear. One quarter. And who did they… They found the telephone. Who did they ring? My grandmother had a family friend who was already in Miami who had come before her. And they obviously kept in touch. And she said, if you ever want to come, just let me know and I'll look after you guys when you come. And then my grandmother and her husband ended up coming over the same on another bead boat that came over. How does it make you feel? Oh, I mean, you know, talk about pressure to deliver in life. When your parents have gone through something like that to give you the opportunity to chase your dreams and have a free life and just do what you want and follow your heart's desire, you know?

37:16Because they weren't going to be able to do that with Cube at the time. So my dad ended up coming over to New York. he had a little bit more of a peaceful transfer. He came from Spain to New York. My grandfather's cousin had a place in New York City. And then from New York, they both ended up in Miami. And throughout all, that's the most beautiful part of the story though, is that throughout all of that, my mom and my dad had already started dating. And they were writing each other love letters. And my mom has all the love letters from my dad still at home. And I'm like, gosh, I remember because when I started dating, my mom thought everybody was the guy I was going to marry.

37:50I was like, slow down. It's a different journey for me than you. But yeah, they met when they were 14 and they've been together ever since. But I think when your parents… Wow. When they go through something like that and you hear the stories. And then as I got older, I also met family cousins. My dad's cousins came over on a raft straight from Cuba, 90 miles, three days with no food and water. And I remember picking them up and their faces were just fully burnt and they were like skeletal from not having… You went and picked them up? Yeah, with my parents and my grandparents. because we all wanted to be there to bring them to us.

38:22And, you know, when you grow up seeing hardship and a level of stress that like you just don't comprehend, I can't comprehend what it would have been like for my grandmother to send her four children on a speedboat and just wish for the best. Like that is desperation for something better in life that I just, I don't have the capacity to understand. So I think that has shaped me. It's the courage and strength. to leave everything behind in search of something better for your family. For your family, yeah. So what does that make you feel? Well, I feel immensely grateful because, you know, you are, I think a lot of who you are and who you become in life matters massively on where you're born.

39:06And I don't know what my life would have been like if I would have been born in Cuba. You know, I don't know. It would have been a totally different thing for me. But I was born in Miami. me I spoke English before because my parents they didn't speak English so I went into school only speaking Spanish and I had to learn English at school because nobody at home spoke English when I was born and you kind of just I don't know it's it's strange because I think they taught me inadvertently without knowing resilience yeah to just kind of like you know if it doesn't work out it will work out you know to just make it work out one way or another and also gave me an immense sense of the importance of family unity like how much your family or your loved ones whatever family can come in lots of different shapes and sizes but those people that you love and matter the most to you to protect and love and be there for each other to the level that they were there for each other man do you know what i find so amazing about that is the sort of resilience and discipline of your parents because i think you you see like that that's a pretty turbulent upbringing, right?

40:10And like lots of things could go wrong. And to stay on the right path and to teach the right morals and to have the strength and discipline, even though internally you're probably dealing with your own things, but to keep on the, you don't give up. We keep going. This is how you need to be a good person, kind person, all that kind of stuff. That is amazing to give us, to have that from 14 years old. Yeah. So they met when they were 14 and they stayed together. And then when I came into the picture. And then having kids at 18. Yeah. But here's an interesting fact. My parents don't drink at all.

40:39They never have. My grandparents never drank at all. He smoked a Cuban cigar every single day of his life and he smoked cigarettes. But he didn't drink alcohol. They just didn't like it. They just didn't. And my dad never did. He just never liked it. Never did. And I think my dad and I had a really… I talk a lot with my parents. But I ask them, how did you cope then? Because for me, personally, I'd put my hands up. If I'm having a tough day, going for a glass of wine or going for a drink is like… And sometimes the easiest way for me to go like, I just need a debrief and like let go for a second.

41:11But for my dad, he would say, no, because I didn't drink, I was forced to cope with my problems, with my mind and with my thoughts and with conversation. And because he did that from such a young age, even though he was a young father, I think both of them, mom and dad, just felt an innate understanding of like, look, we'll be fine. We'll figure this out, you know? So do you consider yourself American or Cuban? See, I love this question. I'm international. That's good. And I think the world is moving more international anyway. I think with how much people are connecting with each other anywhere in the world at any point in time in any way, you don't need to kind of block yourself to just being one thing.

41:52I think ultimately, my biggest roots are Cuban. I was raised by a Cuban family. I listened to Cuban music. I spoke their language before I spoke American or English. and like, so I feel innately more Cuban than I do American. But then at the same time, I was born in the USA and I had the most amazing upbringing in the USA. So a huge part of me is also super American. But now, I've been living in the UK for almost 15 years and I'm on the brink of getting my citizenship. So I'm like, I'm from all over, Jamie. I'm here to please all. But I feel like Cuban is a little bit funner than being British.

42:30I feel like there's a little bit more party in it. But the Cuban in me, I don't think you can get rid of. And I think as a mother now to Lyra, I'm leaning more and more and more into that side of me because… Because you go back to your roots. Well, because obviously Lyra was born here. She's British. She has a British passport. Her father, Alias, is from Slovenia. And then I'm American, but I come from a Cuban family. So this girl is going to go, who am I? What is going on? So I kind of want her to really embrace and be British. That's like step one because she was born here. She's going to go to the Sunday roast, have the afternoon teas, do all of that.

43:06But then I want her to know a lot about her Cuban culture because it's a part of who she is and where I came from and where her mother came from. So interestingly enough, now more than ever, I'm really tuning into that part of my life that maybe… Not that I ignored it, but now I'm really obvious to it. Have you gone back to Cuba? No. So that is kind of like my biggest goal in life is to go. Yeah. Why does that make you emotional? Oh, sorry. It's okay. I think because it's like if you were born, you're Jamie, and all you hear is about British culture, British food, all the pub life, all the music, the bands that came out of here.

43:50Oh my gosh. And like on the Sundays we do the roast, and then at Christmas time we do this. And you know, and you hear, and you speak English, and you understand it, and you know it. And your parents talk about it all the time, and your aunts and uncles talk about it all the time. And then you grow up in that world. And it's like you've never stepped foot in Great Britain. It's the weirdest feeling. It's like there's the last piece of the puzzle to complete who I feel I am as a person. And that last little piece of the puzzle is to finally go and just see where it is that the language that I spoke first came from.

44:24like the music that I listened to, the stories that I heard, the beaches that my dad and my mom met and fell in love. And like, it's just like a part of me that I think I really, really want to just close the chapter on and be like, wow, I've been there. In a weird way, we all need to have a home, right? We needed like, and you've got your homes everywhere, right? But that little door that you haven't opened and visited, that little home that you want to go and see, you want to go and see it, right? Yeah. And I would really love to go with Aliash and Lyra as a family. What is stopping you? What has stopped you?

44:58What is stopping me is the government in Cuba is a very, very complicated government. And because I still have an American passport, the legality around me going is not just as easy as if I had a British passport and I can go and visit. So I'm just not able to go as easily as a British citizen is. So maybe when I get my British passport, I will hopefully be able to go and visit and just see it and explore it. But yeah, that is like probably the biggest, biggest wish in my heart to complete someday in my life. Wow, that moment when that happens. Oh, I'm going to cry my eyes out because it's just, like I said, it's like feeling like you're from this place, connecting to it on so many levels.

45:41Even like you say, yeah, but the Cuban in you, and you're like, yeah, it is who I am. but then just never having been there. You feel a bit like an imposter, you know? Because you're like, I am from this place, but I'm not from this place. But then I also live in the UK. And then I'm also… It's a very strange feeling, which is why when people ask me where you're from, I like saying I'm international because it takes the pressure off a little bit of like… I can understand now. Explaining like, oh, I'm one thing because I'm not one thing. But that one thing that I'm also not, I still have an experience.

46:15I've experienced American. I've experienced British. But I've not experienced Cuban. And so you… It's in a way… It's sort of like… Not in a negative… But it's like a defense mechanism. Because you… It's emotional. It's emotional. It's emotional. So you want to be like… Well, I'm international. It's okay. And like… Listen, it will happen. It will happen. It will happen. 100%. And it's going to be the most… I mean, I can't even… It's going to be the most amazing thing in the world. Yeah. Stepping off that plane and putting your feet in the ground. And be like, oh my god. Yeah. No. Oh. It's going to be amazing.

46:45Yeah, I think so.

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48:42you know Strictly is an amazing show we did 2020 together yeah you were brilliant you really were I remember I know this is going to sound awful but the was it the semi-final or something that you got through yeah and we screamed and we screamed because I was I was doing the salsa and everyone was watching it and I got every move right it was in I was in the dance and I got it all right and as I can read it everyone just got up on the side. We were so happy for you. Everyone was like, let's go! Let's go! Because I was such the underdog. Yeah, but I think that's the beauty of Strictly and I'm excited to see what's going to happen with everything that's new.

49:21Obviously, It Takes Two is also new and everything's new. But I think ultimately what people like more than anything about the show is the people like you that come on and you just see, you fell in love with it. I can tell you did. Doing Strictly is the scariest thing I've ever, like that was, going on the stage and being like half knowing what I have to dance and what I have to do. Like this is what happens in the week. And you know, Monday you get given what you're meant to do. I love that you're telling me as if I didn't do it for me. I'm telling you. Okay? But we're telling the listeners. We're telling the listeners.

49:53Monday you get given this, the cha-cha, whatever it is. The cha-cha. As a non-professional, it's like learning a new language. It is, yeah. Literally like learning, it's like learning Spanish. That's what it is. And you can't even understand what they're telling you. Tuesday, you're like, what? Wednesday, you're like, I think I maybe get this. Thursday, you've understood how to do a Cuban break. You don't need to walk again. You don't need to walk again. And then Friday, you're practicing and Saturday's the live show. Yes. When you go out on the live show, you don't know if you're going to vomit or shit yourself.

50:22Or both. Or both. And there was one time when I dressed up as Hercules and I thought, thank God I'm wearing fake tan because if I'm going to shit myself right now… At least it'll match the outfit. No one's going to know. No one's going to know. It is that I take my hat off to any celebrity that does the show because I did the math with Aliash. We sat down and we did the math. All together, you get three and a half days to learn an entire routine and then perform it in front of millions and millions of people. And you have on the side of that, the judges and the judging of not just the judges that are on the tables, they're the judging of people at home, obviously giving opinions as well.

50:57So for me, you are very brave and every celebrity that does Strictly is immensely brave. And I want to say this because I think it's super, super important. Strictly is just an example of that. But we have to remember that the words that we put, you know that old saying that goes, sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That could not be further from the truth. And now that Strictly is about to start again, I think people need to remember that what you say, what you write online, what your opinions are, what you think or don't think, remember there's another person on the side of that that's going to read it and feel what you're saying.

51:34If you can't say it to their face, don't put it down. Because you have no idea. You just said it. How hard Strictly is. How vulnerable you feel. How nervous you are. How you just want to feel accepted and liked and appreciated. And then you get these online trolls and press and people just attacking, attacking, attacking, attacking. And it's like, I think we all need to take a second. And remember, we are human beings. And we're here to entertain, for fun. for lightness. What's your experience with trolls and online abuse? Well, actually, when I went back to work because I couldn't wait to go back to work.

52:14I was really excited. I remember I was six weeks postpartum and Morning Live called me and asked me if I could come in to host and I was so excited and I was like, yes. And then I went and had an amazing time. I felt like a person again, you know, I wasn't at home and with the baby all day and not that it wasn't lovely. I mean, it was a beautiful bubble that I was in with Lyra. But I just was so excited to go back to work. And it's, by the way, it's okay. It's okay to feel… Excited about that. Excited. And it's okay to feel cooped up as a mom with just your baby. And especially if you're ambitious and driven.

52:49And yes, being a mom is hard and wonderful. But it's okay. You don't have to… It's okay. And I remember putting up on my Instagram this, like, post, like, how happy I was to be back at work and back on Morning Live. and to just think, oh, I can't believe you're leaving your child. I can't believe this is the type of mother that is setting the wrong example from mothers everywhere. Mothers that don't love them. And I was like, are you kidding me? Like, where is the girl power, female support if the first person to dodge me when I'm doing something is a woman out of all people? That's, I think, what hits hardest.

53:25Like, I could take a man being stupid because you don't know me. But as a woman, To do that to each other, I was just so baffled. I was angry, actually. I wasn't sad. I was more angry. I'm not going to tell you this. I didn't get any comments about going back to work. Because you're a man. And I went back after three weeks. Exactly. But even the system here in the UK, men get, what is it, two or three weeks paternity leave? And the mother gets a year? Because in society, we just assume and think the mother has to be home and the father has to be the one that goes off from work. And Aliash and I have such an opposite view to that.

54:00Like, you know, last year I did Roxy Hart in Chicago and I was on tour for six months. And a lot of people, again, were like, how can you leave your child for six months? And I was like, I saw her once a week on The Worst Case. A lot of times she was with me on the road and then Aliash had to step back from work so that I can do Chicago and he can be with Lyra. And again, what's wrong with that? That is a couple working together to raise a child. But also, Janette, also, you haven't won the lottery. No. You have to earn… I have to work. You have to work. You have to earn money. But also, it's not just earn money.

54:33It's who I am. And it's okay to be happy doing both. There's days that I'm like, I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be with Lyra. And that balance is my balance to deal with. Can I ask you about the controversy with Strictly? Which one?

54:53Because there's been a little bit, right? There's been a little bit with maybe… It's not even maybe. some professionals being too potentially aggressive with their training tactics. Firstly, how that sits with you. And I don't know. I just want to talk about it a little bit if you can. Yeah, of course. I think I'll start by saying this. Becoming a professional in Strictly Come Dancing, you have most of the professionals have just come from a competitive, remember this, a competitive background. All they've ever known is selfishness to win because that is how they've been trained since they were three and five years old.

55:31So they don't know a world of team and, you know, capacity to put on a… It's a different, different element and a different machine all in itself, right? So let's start with that because just on that basis, it is very, very hard to train people this is not a real competition. This is not an actual… You're not going to win a trophy and become world champion if you get the Strickly Come Dancing glitter ball. That's not what this is. But some people are very good at doing that. I.e. Aliash, my husband, he's brilliant and understanding. It's an entertainment TV show for the celebrity. This is the only time they will ever do Strickly.

56:12They are the most excited. Their family is super excited. I'm going to make this experience for them the best experience ever because I will come back and do it again. They will not. So I need them to enjoy this process. That's why I say being a professional on Strickly is one of the toughest jobs in the entire show. Because you have to be a creator. You have to choreograph. You have to be a good teacher. Mind you, people become professionals in either or. But on Strictly, you have to be both. You have to teach and you have to choreograph. And then you have to dance it. So you're also a dancer.

56:42And then on top of that, you have to have a personality because you can't be forgettable because you want to win the votes and you want to do things that matter. And then on top of that, you have to be a therapist because you need to guide your celebrity. Make sure they're okay. Make sure they're having a good time. Make sure they're having a good experience. So you're wearing so many hats as a professional that I don't think people realize how many hats pros on Strictly actually do have to wear. 100%. What is it like competing against Aliash? And what is it like dancing with him? No, competing with Aliash, we never competed, I'll be honest.

57:17Because come on, I remember my first year on Strictly. Because you're way better. Oh, obviously. My first year on Strictly, I had Julian McDonald. He's a British fashion designer. And he had Abby Clancy, a model. So we're like different parts of the same, really. Because I had the fashion designer and he had the model. And I remember me and Julian, my first year on Strictly, we were in the dance-off every single week for four weeks straight. I had eight. I know, I know. This is my first year on the show. I'm trying to be, you know, impressed. Aliash went on to win on his first Strictly Come Dancing and I remember when he won when he came home we obviously I was celebrating I was so happy I screamed and everything and then I remember when we kind of debriefed everything I was like well at least one of us brought it home right and I'm like damn it it wasn't me but it's nice because we always choreograph together so even if it was for Julian or for Abby every single dance that he did with Abby him and I choreographed together.

58:22So in a way, I was part of the win. You know, we did feel a little bit like the home one. You know, because he choreographed my numbers with me for Julian and I choreographed his numbers with him for Abby all the way up until the final. You guys are married? Yeah. Did you have a first dance? We did not. Get? No. That's a mischance. You didn't have a… Let me explain it to you. You're getting married. You're getting married. I want you to do a podcast talking about how much you love her on the night of the wedding I did a podcast about my wedding leading up to it you did about it but not on the day I would have done no it just felt a little bit like we'd be working we'd be putting on a show and I kind of wanted to just be lost in his eyes look my dad sings right and my dad I didn't know but he recorded our wedding song and sang it for us so I'm like there was no way in the world I was going to remember choreography and be in the moment of a performance piece when my dad is singing my wedding song and I'm dancing with my brand new gorgeous husband I just really wanted to be in the moment and so did Aliash also I couldn't move in my dress it was like I literally had to get in the car lying down because it was so tight Julian McDonald designed it by the way he made the dress for me and he gave it to me as a wedding present which was phenomenal So I had a Julian McDonald wedding dress.

59:49I mean, that is like… The real perks are strictly. That's the perks are strictly, yeah. What was your wedding song? We danced to Michael, we'll blaze you and I. Originally sung by Stevie Wonder. We are the most unromantic couple, by the way. I think the most romantic thing we do is we dance together. Because when we dance together, it really feels like I'm not on this realm. It's a very strange feeling. Because dancing includes a form of meditative state. because you're lost in the music, lost in the moment, lost in the space and time, which is similar to meditation. It's when you lose sense of time and you're just hyper-focused on something.

1:00:25And when you do that when you dance, but then you do that when you dance with someone you love and you're both doing it. It's like another level of existence that I can't really put into words. Very, very special, actually. And I remember thinking when we do tours together, we do shows together, we're like any other couple. we argue all the time. But if we have to go on stage and do a beautiful romantic dance, it's our therapy. Because then I have to look into his eyes and make pretend I'm in love with him again when we've just shouted at each other backstage about a wardrobe malfunction or something.

1:00:59And then I'm looking at him from across the stage angry and then we come on and I'm like, oh, but I love you really. What else if he puts a foot wrong? I have to follow. Get out of here. Yeah, because he's… You have to shift that quickly. I have to shift quickly. He's also a big guy, Jamie. I mean, he's six foot and I'm five foot. If he goes wrong, I gotta go. You have to go. I gotta try and fix it because it's not going to go anywhere. So I just gotta go. But I think we've gotten better because we never danced together. Because he's so much taller than me. So he used to compete with somebody else.

1:01:29We only started dancing together when we got on Strictly. And I remember that was a journey to figure out how we can make it work. And with his height and my height being so opposite. But we made it work. What do you love most about him? Oh… He is the kindest, most thoughtful person I know. He's the guy that will like pass a shop and see something and be like, Oh, I remember that so-and-so really liked that shirt. So he just buys things just because. He's that guy that doesn't get me flowers on Valentine's Day. But if he feels like it on the day, he goes, I was thinking of you so I got you some flowers.

1:02:05And that is like, for me, magic. Because that matters more than a Valentine's Day, a birthday present, a thing. And he also… I mean this is a tough question because I love a lot about him. But he also fully, fully, fully accepts me. With no kind of sugar coating. You know? The madness, the excitement, the resilience, the annoyingness, the overexcitedness, the… Overthinkiness. Overthinker. The person that a lot of times always felt like I wasn't enough for a lot of things. And he's just my rock. He's the one that goes, no you are. and you're brilliant and you're amazing and I love you and you need to remember that.

1:02:45When I went up for the chemistry test for Strictly, he knew how bad I wanted it. He knew how bad I wanted that job. And he came home with this huge bouquet of flowers and a card. And in the card, it literally said, remember, you've already done enough. Brucie would be proud. And I was just like, it broke down. Because he just thinks of things like that. Like, you know, I remember, you know, when Tess and Claudia announced they were leaving, he thought like Bruce would be so proud of what they've done for Strictly. I didn't even clock things like that. And then when that kind of moment came, just to know exactly what to say, to just bring me around and make me feel like even if it doesn't happen, you've done yourself proud.

1:03:29Like, he's just a goldmine of a human being, really. Do you feel proud of yourself? I feel proud of myself now. because I think a few weeks ago, I would have probably had a different answer because I was in a different place. But now I'm really proud of overcoming and moving forward and getting excited for what's next and the next part of my life. So I'm proud of myself right now because I think I'm doing the things that Jeanette would do outside of the world of Strictly. And Jeanette is doing the things for her daughter outside of the world of what people think is the best or the worst for raising a child.

1:04:09I'm just doing me in every way possible. And I'm so excited for this reinvention phase of my life because I'm going into it with such a different mindset to where I was in my past. So clear with, I know what I want to do. For example, I'm really, really, really buzzing because I'm doing this play. And it's a straightforward play. I'm not singing, I'm not dancing. It's called Affluenza. And I'm playing an attorney and I'm playing like, It's quite a serious thing. So I'm buzzing because I think… It's a real challenge. It's a massive challenge. For me, I haven't lost Jeanette. My thing is to entertain, to tell stories, to connect with people through the realm of theater or television or film, whatever that is.

1:04:55I will always do that and I will always continue to do that. But you have to trust that whatever avenue comes, you just take it when it comes and you go with it. But as long as you keep doing you, what you're passionate about, what makes you curious, what makes you excited, it will eventually lead. That thing will lead to that thing. And then that thing leads to that thing. And you just got to go with it. And having the courage to do it, right? Exactly. Where can we go and see the play? You can go and see the play at Riverside Hub. It's eight shows a week. So you've got loads of options. Eight shows a week.

1:05:28Yes, because it's Theatreville. So it's eight shows a week. It's a matinee, isn't it? Yeah, so I've got matinees on Thursday, matinees on Saturdays. I mean, I don't take myself easy because then from that, I'm going straight into my first ever pantomime. Oh my God. I'm playing Tinkerbell at Marlowe Theatre in Canterbury. Wow. But again, I've always wanted to do panto, but you know, Strictly's always kind of… Stopped it. Stopped it. So now I can do panto. And Tinkerbell, I mean, come on. Unbelievable. Disney fanatic number one in my first role is Tinkerbell. So I'm like buzzing. But yeah, the play actually I'm really, really excited about because in life, you've got to challenge yourself.

1:06:04You've got to do things that make you uncomfortable because that's the only way that you grow. When I joined Strictly, I had never competed in Boromilatin. Never. And I had to teach a quick step. Yes. So I had to teach a quick step and I'd never competed in that world to teach a quick step. But I was like, you know what? I'd rather be thrown in the deep end and figure it out than be afraid or wait for the perfect moment to go for the perfect opportunity and the perfect time. sometimes you've just gotta go Jeanette can I say you're magical stop it you're magical I really appreciate you coming on and being open and making me laugh and just being amazing and truthfully but my time was strictly was so great because you were part of that journey as well and like I had the fondest memories of doing that in 2020 we bonded because you said you're a Scorpio and I was like me too what is it about Scorpio is that when you say you're a Scorpio people go oh I get it I get it and we're thick Scorpios still to this day can I say I still with Ali Ash when we finished show we had a couple drinks and I banged a pitcher on his head he was not happy he was not happy I was overexcited and the studio wasn't happy about it yeah I didn't think we were meant to be doing that at the time anyway that's in the past whatever listen thank you so much no thank you for having me you're amazing in every single way we'd like to end the conversation with eight quick fire questions.

1:07:32Oh my gosh. Are you ready for this? I don't know how quick I'll be but go for it. It's okay. You take as long as you want. What's a saying or phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up? Be kind. I love that. Being kind is cool. Best compliment anyone's ever given you? I heard once that they said you're such a healer. You're such a healer you know. If I'm around you I just feel like I'm better immediately after leaving your side. I was like wow deep but I'll take it. Yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna ditto that as in I can feel that on you 100%. What scares you most about yourself? My mind The overthinking Overanalyzing Overstressing I'm working on it all the time Apart from today When was the last time you cried?

1:08:10Seriously I cried When I had to Put Lyra to bed Knowing that I wasn't going to see her For two weeks Because of work And Those are tough Tough nights When you've got to You know Put your big girl pants on And just Get on with it Yeah but she will know Her mama especially as she grows up she'll know that her mama is just like a rock star and she was doing everything for her. Even now I still have time before the play kicks off in October where I can still put her to bed in the evenings but just the thought of I'm not going to put her to bed at night for quite some time while I'm doing shows just thinking of that makes me tear up because you know I'm still a mother and I'm still a human.

1:08:51I have listened. It's crazy what it does to you. That love. That's crazy. The only way I can describe it now is I want to climb inside my baby and get to his heart and say, I love you. And I can't do it. But I just keep looking at her. And I'm like, at this point, I'm like, can you stop growing? Yeah, yeah. Just stay like that. Just don't move. Just stay like that. What's something you can't let go of? Lyra, obviously. Aliash, Lyra, my family. I think the people in my life. If I didn't have them, I don't know if I'd be here or doing the things that I'm doing without the support of my family, My husband, I just…

1:09:28I would never imagine a world without them. What's your guilty pleasure? Ooh, chocolate. What type? Milk. Just milk chocolate. Straight up in the fridge? Straight up dairy milk. Dairy milk, whole nut. O-M-G. Do you put it in the fridge? No. I like it creamy. Okay, there we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's freaking go. What's your biggest turn off? Laziness. Get up and go. I like it. Get up and go. Come on. 100%. what's your biggest turn on? Power. But not in the way that you think. Okay. Like for example and talent. Power and talent. Which is why I fell in love with Aliash. Yeah talents. Yeah. It's because I remember watching him on stage dancing the first time and going okay.

1:10:14Do you know that we were friends for a whole year? Before we actually started dating. He was literally trying to get me to date him for a whole year and I kept saying no and no and no and no and no and then finally a year later I went for it and we went on the date. But you had a date You kissed? What happened? He said to me, a friend of ours was going through a bad breakup. He's like, he's really going through a tough time. I think you and I should take him for dinner. And that's where I went, are you using his breakup to try and take me to dinner? World-class tactic. And I thought, you know what?

1:10:42I'm going to bite because he's so creative. All right, let's go. Then I sat down at the dinner. Poor guy was going through a breakup and me and Ariash are falling in love with each other like on the same table. But he started talking about relationships and love and family. and I was just like gobsmacked that we had such similar approaches to the real serious things in life. And then when I say power, I don't mean powers in financial power. I mean powers in like knowing his worth, walking into the room and being magnetizing and everybody… When Aliash walks in the room, you can't help but want to say hello.

1:11:16You know, there's something about him. You know what I mean? A hundred percent. What do you like most about yourself? That I'm resilient. You know, I'm like that thing that comes back fighting. No matter what happens, there'll be a way around it. I'll make it work. And I do it with positive approach. Positivity. And it's not happiness all the time. I would be an absolute liar if I said that I was always happy. But I try and approach life, even the tough times, with as much positivity as I can. I love that. Bonus. Snog, marry, avoid. Craig, revel, forward. Bruno Tognoli or Anton Debec? I'm Mary Anton Mary Anton yeah he's quite the gentleman so you have to shag or snog Craig or Bruno it's not great options yeah you got a big one I'm Mary Anton I will I will I think I'll snog Craig because we're really close he's a good friend of mine yeah oh my gosh sorry where's it Bruno I can't believe it you were wonderful you were magical you were beautiful thank you so much for going on great company you were the best company ever brilliant thank you yay

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