Joanne McNally on her Dating Disasters | GREAT MOMENTS

0:02Hello everyone, I'm Jamie Laing and this is Great Moments.

0:09Hello everyone, this is Great Moments where I share some of my favourite moments from my conversations on Great Company. Something that's made me think, made me laugh or changed my perspective and hopefully, hopefully there's something in it for you too. So are you ready? Let's get into it. When's the worst breakup you've ever had?

0:29Joanne McNally: Well to be fair I've had loads Really? Yeah Because I'm very like When I'm in I'm in Not anymore Now I'm quite out Do you do the dumping Or can you get dumped? Oh I can get dumped It's quite a skill Really? Oh yeah I can get really dumped Yeah No Oh yeah Do you see it coming? Yeah Yeah Oh boy yeah Yeah yeah yeah I'm never one of those women Who's like It came out of nowhere One did One came out of nowhere But like I wasn't that into them It was more of a relief Because when I was sick And I had these string of men When they break up with me Because it was like Three months in The button They were like Oh she's mad Do you know what I mean Like you can get away with it For three months then You're like You're staying over You have to eat dinner Yeah you can keep it together Yeah three months in They're all like They're right You could literally set your watch by it Really?

1:22Joanne McNally: Yeah But it was like a release I was like oh Grant I'll just go back to my eating disorder Now full time Thanks You were kind of holding the whole thing up, to be honest. You were in the way of my weight loss journey. Thank you. Yeah. But no, I have. I used to, like, I remember my first breakup. Oh, how old are you? My God. I'll never forget the pain of it. Oh, my God. I remember breaking up with a guy when I was 10 years of age. Get out of here, Joanne. I swear to God. I'm gamey. I've been gamey a long time, Jamie. I was an early starter. I loved boys. I was boy mad. But you can't be 10 and be broken hearted.

2:00Joanne McNally: Oh my God. Do you remember the song? I swear by the moon and the... My God, pipes are nice. I know because I've listened to it 60 billion times, crying, holding his, not nunchucks, dog tags, which I'd engraved our names in myself with the compass. He didn't even know I had his, not nunchucks, cold tags, dog tags. Nunchucks.

2:26Joanne McNally: just self-flagellating myself just hitting my own back why did he leave it's your fault but then I remember my first serious breakup when I was I don't know I must have been in my 20s I'd say and I like obviously because your first serious relationship you're like I guess this is me now we're going to just get married and have kids which is hilarious in hindsight you know like I have girls coming to my shows now and they're in their early 20s and I'm like are you going to marry them she's like yeah and I was like I'm I just don't know you are I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm to Angela. You're not, this is, you're too fucking young for this shit.

2:57Joanne McNally: But I was so devastated. Oh my God. I remember I like got a train out to his house. I tried to doorstep him basically and his mum was like, he's not here. And I ended up going in sitting and waiting for, I remember, I remember I rang. So I went, I was heartbroken and I was like, I just need to see him. He just needs to see me and then everything will be fine. Like I was quite a needy girlfriend and got the train out to his house. He was living with his mum at the time we were only like young. And his mum was like, he's not here. And she could see that I just wasn't going to go anywhere. And she's like, do you want to come in and wait for him?

3:30Joanne McNally: I said, yeah. So he wasn't answering my calls. I was ringing him off my little pink flip phone. And she said, do you want to ring him off the landline? My eyes lit up because I was like, well, he's never going to know that's me. Yeah, I'll ring him. So he answers what he thinks of his mother. Do you answer? Do you answer? Hiya, it's me. I murdered your mum. Your mum's trapped to a radiator. If you don't come home in the next 10 minutes, I've got a specific set of skills. That is so nuts. You took a bus to the mum's house. Took a train, I got the dirt, yeah. He lived in Shank Hill at the time. You took a train to the mum's house for a month.

4:16Joanne McNally: But that was just a bonus that she let me do that. I could never have anticipated I'd get a hotline straight to his mobile. But I remember sitting on the dark on it. So you know when you're broken, you know when you're heartbroken and it's like, I've learned a lot. Like I fall, I used to say like, I don't fall in love, I fall insane. When I'm in love, I'm so, I have these very like, It's deep, deep, deep, deep. Yeah, these very intense relationships where it's like the worst of times and the best of times and you're breaking up all the time. It's always that kind of, never anything like regular.

4:48Is it because it's the type of person you go for or what?

4:50Joanne McNally: I'd say it's a bit of me and a bit of them. It's always, you can't remove yourself from all accountability. I know myself that it's probably that dopamine thing, you know, that kind of ADHD brain vibe. It's like the highs. And the drama. And also when something's still, it feels boring. Exactly. And so you want it to feel exciting the whole time. It's quite a juvenile way of going about things as well. I hope that I don't behave like that anymore. I've had some very boring relationships since, so hopefully that's a good sign that I've evolved. Bored off my tits This must be what it's like But I remember sitting on the dark Going out to his house And Feeling like At peace Because I was going to see him So it's They say it's like a drug And you've just gone Your drug's just been Ripped off you It's cold turkey So you felt calm That you knew you were going there I was there grinning Like an absolute fruit loop On the train I never remember I was in a Lonsdale top And a denim skirt And my furry boots Wow Yeah Do you think there's a He didn't It didn't work out.

5:51Joanne McNally: Would you believe that? Can you believe I didn't marry that man? Not shocking. Do you, would you like to get married? No. Really? I wouldn't. So if I met someone tomorrow and I was, again, mad about them, because I do have it in me. Yeah, yeah. I do have it in me to go, to go mad, to get mad about them. And I think I've hardened up in the last couple of years. I don't think I'm the way I was. Like, I think it's, I'm more for men I'm way more I'm not I don't fall the way I used to fall as often as I used to fall I think you're quite tough I am quite tough until I have three rides and I'm like would you love me if I was a worm but like at the start I'm very tough I'm too tough actually I've kind of hardened up a bit too much I think with the job as well the job became I realised pretty pretty quickly the job is a bit of a cock block really why because you have to be married to it no No man is going to walk out of my show and be like, I'll slip into her DMs.

6:54Joanne McNally: I disagree. You're a different beast. I disagree. I think because we know each other. And also you kind of dabbled in a bit of comedy at one point. But like the average person, I was doing a show in Plymouth recently. And there was three straight men in the front row. And the whole show I was like, why the fuck are they there? and then after I was like maybe one of them fancied me from like a TV show or something and he came and I was like and I was saying it to my tour manager and she was like oh why didn't you see and I was like no no no because I know now he will leave cured he's not going to be like he'll be leaving now and be like I'm not taking that on even Vogue Vogue our mutual friend she was trying to set me up with someone before and he asked my Instagram and she's like no no you're not having it and I was like why and she goes you're hostile you're hostile but I think the job has kind of toughened me up and I think there's a certain amount of resilience required and I feel like I'm very independent now and I'm financially independent and I'm not willing to like you don't need you only need it for for the accident which is love you don't need it for financial support anything you don't you'll find out I'm on my own my own little beast now but I would and also like I've actually do you know what I I went I actually downloaded a date nap last night for the first time I mean, I don't know how long.

8:12Which one was it?

8:14Joanne McNally: Hinge. And then five minutes in, I was like,

8:23Joanne McNally: I was like, Joanne, this is not the energy to bring to Hinge. You've rolled your eyes 19 times. You've been on it 30 seconds. I also think there's a weird thing, which the question is always asked women, always. It's always about kids. And I don't know why they always ask that. I know. And when we get to a certain age And it's like Well wouldn't you want to have them Would you want to have them I'd love to have kids You would like to have kids Yeah I'd love to have kids I might adopt kids I might just pay it back Yeah But like my problem is I forget Like I'm 42 And like Life just sneaks up on you And because it didn't happen for me With a man Because I think I'm way more self aware now And I realise now I was never going to be the type of I just was never going to be the person Who got married at 25 That was just never what I was going to do Yeah And now I've gotten to 42 I I think I call myself a little problematically independent at this point so the kids thing I assume it'll be something I'll probably do on my own or my friend Ross he's gay we were trying to maybe we'd kind of genetically collab Really?

9:27Joanne McNally: Maybe yeah but like then I'm like I'm fully I'm touring until next Christmas Yeah and there's a tricky thing which especially with being a comedian it's like where do you put the baby? Out of any job I think that's The hardest Because the way you make Your living is touring You have to go around The country And meet different people So then where do you Put the baby Well then you have to Prioritise That's the thing It's like well If you're gonna do it You need to prioritise Putting time aside To raise the baby You can't just have the baby And pick it up when it's 18 But you're not in a relationship No Oh No Hence the download Of the dating apps Yeah What is your type For anyone listening Oh Great question You need funny Yeah criminal criminal isn't necessary but it seems to be a little bit of time somewhere along the line seems to be a thing for me white collar it's always white collar which barely counts maybe an old addiction issue but they've recovered but they're probably maybe one sausage away from a relapse kind of vibe I stay away from spiritual vegans now because I always feel like they're trying to hold a lot of shit behind them.

10:38Do you know what I mean? But you like a little bit of trauma?

10:40Joanne McNally: I seem to, yes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. There seems to be, that seems to be my jam. Yeah. Where are your wounds? Yeah. Let's rub wounds together. Yeah. I actually think for the moment I'm actually, I would, my concern for myself would be that I'd close down shop completely because I am quite content. Really? And you have to be open. So no sex forever? Well, no, I'd have sex. Yeah. I'm willing You're willing to have sex Yeah To let a man have sex with me Yes Yeah I am willing Yeah I leave my doors open Every Saturday afternoon Between two and three Any delivery drivers I'm like come on in I'm not going to give you the code I'll give you the code after Come on I'll tip you I interviewed Lou Saunders Lou Saunders The funniest thing she ever told me She said she once had a One night stand With a guy And he didn't take his anorak off the whole time.

11:38He just wore his jacket.

11:40Joanne McNally: Oh my God, that is so lazy. Like, talk about, just get a wank sleeve. Why am I even here? I know one of my mates, Rodolady, kept his hat on the whole time. But I was like... What, like a truby? No, like... That'd be hot. That's very Justin Timberlake, isn't it? And just one white glove. He kept his hat on. I was like, yeah, because he's bald. She was like, oh. I was like oh come on It's classic 101 Have you ever had a strange One night stand? I mean they're all strange I remember one guy I went on a date with them And I was Again I was in the aftermath Of a breakup Yeah yeah And I fancied this guy And it was probably the first guy I fancied after the last guy And you know when you've kind of Broken through that wall You're like oh amazing And I just moved to London And I was like Gonna you know I'm gonna be like Carrie Bradshaw well you know living my London life and I'm just going to date because I was never particularly promiscuous I was very much like I'm not giving you this my flower yeah I'm just going to ruin it tell your macy you took it I was always like that so but I was like I'm just going to like you know I'm going to be going to have that like really promiscuous date I don't think I'm really equipped for that but anyway I went to the date with this guy and I really fancied him and I was like thank God so I was like I'll go home with you and he was like oh okay so I was sitting in the black cab with him because I just assumed all men wanted to go home with him I never thought that he didn't never crossed my mind and I was sitting in the taxi but then I realised his attitude toward I was like oh you're you're like a little you're a little sexist actually because he was like well look I'm assuming you don't do this a lot and I was like oh what the hell yeah he was judging me for going home with him Are you swat?

13:35Yeah

13:35Joanne McNally: Oh Jamie come on Let's not be surprised I am surprised by that And I think I In my heightened state Of like my new London life And I fancy someone Was like Surely this man would be Absolutely thrilled And of course he was like I'm obviously going to have sex with you But I'm just hoping This isn't like How you normally behave So you then have a weird Like argument In like the text I just remember Very clearly That stuck in my mind And I was like Oh he's judging me Followed through anyway obviously Because I was like I'm new to London. I don't know where I live.

14:07Joanne McNally: Having a clue what shoe blind I'm on. I'm stuck in this taxi now. And I went back. And the next morning was ice cold. What? I mean, had his back to me. And I remember saying to him, he was on his phone. And I went, are you back on Hinge? I said, are you on Hinge? And he went, no man's through my mouth. And I was like, I was taking the piss. And then I obviously hadn't a clue where I was. So I said, listen, I don't know where I am. And he told me I was in like wherever, you know, like Wolfordshire or something. And he said, I said, can I, I said, is there a train station nearby? And he goes, yeah, it's down the road.

14:42Joanne McNally: And I said, do you drive? And he said, yeah. And he goes, and he looked at me like as in I was going to do something really cheeky. And he goes, I'm not, Joanne, I'm not giving you a lift. And I said, oh, okay. And he said, I said, why? Just out of interest. He goes, because that would be, I'll never forget it. Unimprecedented act of chivalry. and I just don't think I feel that way about you yet. Welcome to London, Joanne. And I started laughing. And he's like, what's so funny? Because I was like, you're like, you're... You're too much. Yeah, this is ridiculous. So I was like, I'm going to go now.

15:17And he's like, how are you being like that?

15:19Joanne McNally: And I was like, I... You? Yeah, exactly. I was like, I know you're grand. Yes, that's the end. I thought I was like giving this gift to this man. Me. For 12 hours. You lucky bastard. Yeah. But men are like, I call the ejaculate. Explain. They ejaculate, they hate. Really? Ah, come on now, Jamie. I can see it in your eyes. You know exactly what I mean. They get what they want. Not all of them now. Not all men, hashtag blah, blah, blah. But like, there's a pursuit there. And there is that post-not clarity of like, oh, you're still here. Don't rob anything on your way out. You're like, wow, you were all over me last night.

15:56Joanne McNally: Yeah. That post-not clarity. The ejaculate.

16:13I'm Johnuring.