JOE MARLER on the Love of His Life | GREAT MOMENTS

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1:01Hello, everyone. I'm Jamie Lang, and this is Great Moments. Hey, everyone. I hope you're well, and welcome back to Great Moments. Now, if you're new here, this is the place where I'm going to bring you a standout moment from one of my favorite great comedy conversations. These are the moments that have stayed with me long after the recording, and I hope you can take something away from them. Now, if today's conversation leaves you wanting more you can find the link to the full episode in the show notes so sit back settle in and here it is

1:35did you have nicknames growing up come on give it to me give it to me come on shubsy wubbsy that was it uh fat boy fat boy fat fat boy fat yeah you don't like fat boy slim but there was no slim just fat boy fat who was calling you that it's just the world the world actually most most of the time it was me you know you get in there first you know you talk about your inverted nipples because you got massive moobs first because then that puts up a barrier of defense like if then anyone attacks me for any of my faults i'm like yeah i've already stated them to you thank you it's easier to deal with you're like eminem in the rap battle what the flying fuck is that that's true in eight miles in eight mile at the end yeah i am a redneck hillbilly yeah i'm a redneck hillbilly what's that bloke who fucked his mum jim did fuck my mom and jim did fuck my clickety clack clack clack clickety clack wiggity whack whack whack sitting back your real name's clarence he went to private school yeah yeah he's got a real nice home and his mum and dad are together what the fuck is everybody in the 313 put your motherfucking hands up and follow me.

2:46Yeah. I'd like to leave. Can we call it? Is that like the quickest episode you've ever done? No, we got a long way to go. How was your childhood? Wow. Because you're one of these people, right? Who I reckon you felt like, like you said before with your insecurities, you would call out your insecurities to begin with because perhaps you were an insecure child. perhaps were you? I don't know what's an insecure child? because I think we all are a little bit insecure as kids so aren't they just children? no no because most children don't have consciousness really like I remember when I was a kid I said this before I remember when I used to be in school I used to get into a queue there was hot food and cold food right at my school so you could have it was a posh school it was a posh school nice you could have a salad or you could have hot food like a lasagna wow alright I don't fucking hell.

3:44I know. And I used to get into - Lasagna. It was normally like a lasagna or something like that. And I used to get into the queue and see who would follow me into the queue. Because I was conscious of like popularity. Wow. For what purpose? Who would follow you in the queue? And then you'd be like, are they my sort of people? Yeah. I should hang around with them more. No, I thought you want, I wanted to gain popularity. So I'd see who would follow me to see who was like part of my gang almost. Did no one follow you? A few people did. and are they still your friends no so the purpose of the validation at that moment all right okay you're quite you're sharp you're really sharp you started this as a kid yeah fuck okay yeah no i was just deciding how many flapjacks i was gonna have usually it was between three and five always always stacked up mate loved a flapjack you would have three to five flapjacks yeah my wife still recalls it now she's like okay now do you remember when you used to have three or five flapjacks at lunchtime like yeah just have a flapjack now please this is daisy daisy my wife yeah you were at school with daisy we went to school together yeah we were first together at school when i was 14 uh we met on 13 14 year eight camp we used to go to and what do you think I went, she's my girl.

5:08At 14? She is my lady and I am her man. She drives me crazy

5:22and I'm not called Dan. Wait, when you saw her, when you saw her, so you're 13, 14 years old, you're feeling like a little bit like whatever it is. What's the first thing you said to her? What was I feeling? Why you were feeling insecure? You were probably feeling, because you call yourself fat, boy fat. Yeah. You had inverted nipples. Yeah, I did. They're not, just checking. So you were - They're starting to go a bit more inverted now. So you were feeling shy, all these things, and then you see Daisy. I was never shy. Well, you must have been a little bit shy. No, I was never shy. Okay. I was always outgoing and sort of narcissistic, make it all about me.

6:00And yeah, Daisy, we were part of the same group of friends. And I was like, that's my LTP. That's my long-term plan. Come on, then you did that. I just loved her. She was great. We got on so well. How much do you love Daisy? Give it to me. I wouldn't be here. Like, no, I don't mean at the Sweet Factory, but I mean, it would be as well, but I wouldn't be in this world without her. Like, she's everything. Like, she's incredible. Like, for me to, if you're going to be a professional, like, athlete, in fact, I was a rugby player, not an athlete. If you're going to be a professional sports person in any sport, you've got to have a level of selfishness, that drive, that commitment.

6:41It's like you've got to do everything you can. And I wouldn't have been able to do that if Daisy wasn't by my side. Like half the year, I'm not there. I'm away doing rugby all the time. She's there looking after the kids, looking after everything at home. And just, I wouldn't have been able to do any of that. Although people do say, well, actually, if you didn't have her, you then wouldn't have had kids and you could have done all of that. You just wouldn't have had it. You wouldn't have had as much stress. You wouldn't have had as much stress. So you, yeah. Sometimes people reverse it going, it might've been easier.

7:16I'm like, you piece of shit. That's my response to them. She's every, I love her to pieces, mate. She's, she's been there through everything, ups and downs. And, uh, she's like, she is the reason I wake up in the morning. to go and have an adventure for that day with her and the kids. So I don't think I say it enough publicly because I never had, and she doesn't need that. But you asked the question and you made out we were friends. So I thought I'd tell you the truth. And yet you've put a microphone in front of it to record that. Cut that bit then, Helen. Cheers. No, we're not going to cut that.

7:58Okay. Yeah, but you won't. Okay, that's it. Man, that's amazing. Very lucky. so 2018 you do you you decide to retire again yeah and i remember this like being like i've told you this before but like growing up rugby players you know my heroes you guys were my heroes really not you so much but you're older than me aren't you by a year but wilkinson lucy oh okay tindall that generation yeah the 03 lot yeah yeah Yeah. Mega. World Cup. Mega. So, so growing up, so then I remember seeing you retiring again from a, from a fan point of view. It was confusing. It was like, I don't, why is he retiring again?

8:40Yeah. He just wants more attention. How did he, he just wants another retirement party. I thought that was it, but I was like, enough's enough. I didn't know, again, I didn't know what was going on. And then you hadn't had any therapy, nothing at all. Well, no, because I didn't, I just presumed it was the rugby and it was burnout that I'd fallen out of love with the game. and fuck the game, I'm gone. I'm going to concentrate on family and Quinns a bit more. And then it just carried on after that. It got worse. And I had a proper meltdown the back end of 2018. And Daisy was pregnant with our third, with Felix.

9:22At the time, she was seven months pregnant with Felix. and it was like I'd lost the plot. We'd had a massive argument over a fucking squirrel.

9:36Good. Do you know what I mean? The squirrel was the breaking point. The breaking point. There was something. Because you're just feeling internally just... Yeah. And I'd been communicating any of that. She didn't know what was going on. She didn't... Is she asking you? Yeah, but... She said you were being distant or what's going on? I was distant, mate. I wasn't present at home. like physically and emotionally there i was just like it was shit i was making it like a shit environment for everyone but i wasn't aware of it at the time i was just like going through it all well because the camp is so intense camaraderie everything everything you write it and the scheduling of it all the thing and then you wake up on the money morning at home and you go where is everyone it's great to be home but like why is there no one telling me where i need to be this morning why is there no one telling me what i need to wear i'm not going to see 30 other blokes for the day do you know what i mean it's like what are we going to do so the come down and the the the sort of exhaustion of that just kept i kept spiraling and then it was like right okay get back on the meds get back sorted you're fine then it signed and then i just kept doing that And I'm still doing that where even as recent as a few weeks ago where things have gotten a bit tricky with home life and retirement life or unemployment life where I go, I really underestimated this.

11:02I thought the first three or four months of retirement was great. It was like an extended holiday. I'm just spending all the time with the kids. It's fine. and my body's starting to feel better. I'm not aching every Sunday morning after it came. And I was like, this is great. And then you go, fuck, what am I going to do? What do I do? What's my job? It's just finding that new identity, right? That's the thing. And I had a good chat with a good friend of mine who, he's been five years retired and been through the same, similar issues. issues and he was like it took him about 18 months to sort of get to grips with the lack of schedule uh the lack of camaraderie every day seeing the thing the actual physical nature the physical fitness because you look at yourself and you go well i don't need to do these weights anymore because i don't need to be that big i don't need do you know what i mean what's the what's the purpose of the body do you know what i mean what's what what is my new purpose of it and uh yeah really good chat about the identity piece of whenever someone asks you oh what do you do you play rugby like that's always been the answer for the last 15 17 years now if someone asks you what do you do i go oh i do a podcast which is a great podcast thank you really kind of it is very good yeah but i mean like i do a podcast but is that a real job i'm asking you i don't think so right but look at your setup yeah i but this looks very professional yeah but you how much do you love your podcast oh i love it yeah there you go because you love talking to people as much as you pretend you don't you actually this conversation now no i absolutely love talking to people yeah absolutely love the engagement like hearing different people's stories like the way you can bounce off people the way you can't bounce off people human psychology I fucking obsessed with it.

13:03Like, so I love my podcast, but I still have that little bit of like, what am I? Do you know what I mean? What am I? And you go, well, I'm a dad. I'm a husband. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know. So I'm going to put effort in that. But what, what am I? Give me advice on fatherhood. Oh, fuck off. Give it to me. Come on. Advice on fatherhood. Because I just had, Yeah, you just had a 20-week scan. I'm so happy for you, mate. How many of your friends group of confus? Quite a few, yeah. So have you had a little bit of interaction with them and all that lot? But it's not the same. No, it doesn't. As when you've got your own little human.

13:46Is it the best thing ever? When you leave the hospital and you go, oh my God, this is incredible. This elation. When you had Jasper, was it just like? Oh, it was just fucking... That was wild because we were planning to... Because you would have been 24. 23. Quite young. Is it? Well, in these times, I'd say, yeah, quite... Subjective, really, isn't it? Subjective, yeah. But having a kid at 23 is quite young. We just said that we're just adults at 35 and you had a kid at 23. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we do look back on that and go, fucking hell. Yeah, we were young, weren't we? But we wanted to be young, like young parents with the family and all that.

14:32But when Jasper was due, we were prepping to play Italy in the Six Nations. And it was Italy away. And on the Monday, days went into Labour. And I was like, oh, I'm going to have to go. And they're like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. But then there was a couple of complications, but it dragged on a bit. And she ended up being in Labour for like three days. and I was still getting calls from Stuart Lancaster and the England team like, what's the crack then mate? Are you going to come play on Saturday? I was like I'm in the hospital like dealing with this thing and they're like, okay just keep us posted.

15:05And then even when he came I was like so we could get you on a flight out if you want to? I went, no mate, I've got to do this. And I sat and watched it watched the game with it and it was just it's the best feeling in the world mate. Like. Scary? Fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like really scared. I'm a little bit scared about it. You should be scared. Yeah. But that means you care. My advice to you is, are you squeamish? No, I'm all right. Yeah, just go full lower end. I'm going to go full lower end. Yeah, just. Embrace it. Embrace it all. It's like messy as fuck. No, I'm not. Yeah, it is. There'll be shit flying everywhere.

15:49Do you know what I mean? Who was it? was it pixie or was it felix i think it was our fourth our fourth pixie um the midwife was like oh do you want to help like bring her out and stuff i was like yeah fucking yeah and as we're like pulling her out i went to hand her to daisy like skin on skin immediately like that and then she's so slippery i think she's like slipped off her stomach and gone off the edge of the bed and the midwife that side's like oh god like that and then i was like oh fuck even my mom was telling me that when she had it the first time she was like you can't spin on you and she was like oh oh my god like someone clean the fuck it stinks wash it

16:44it was just kissing it you got like brown like what's going on it's incredible mate it'll be it's obvious but it'll completely change your life uh in more ways than you know like the perspective of it all the the fact that you're now responsible for keeping another human being alive like but you just do it do you know i mean you just you work it out and daisy was is a natural she was like born to be a mum absolutely incredible and yeah, you'll just have so much fun. I know. And you'll be great, mate. You'll be great. But do prepare yourself. Do prepare yourself. It's no good giving people advice or getting advice off people because it's always different.

17:35It's always different. But I think you'll love it. You'll really love it.

17:47Do-da-da. Do-da-da. Do-da-da. Do-da-da. Do-da-da. Do-da-da. Do-da-da. Do-da-da. Your team just added its 67th AI tool, and also your 67th security blind spot. The good news? The Vanta agent works like a GRC engineer in the background, finding every app your team uses, scoring the risk, and drafting fixes for you. Vanta is the platform used by over 16 ,000 fast-moving companies like Ramp, Cursor, and Harvey, who are shaping the future with AI and staying ahead of AI risk. Get started at Vanta.com. Still waiting in line? Again? That's time you'll never get back. Save time and money with Stamps.com.

18:34Over 4 million businesses have skipped the line with Stamps.com. Join them to save up to 90 % off carrier rates from your computer or phone right now. Print postage for certified mail, registered mail, and packages in seconds. Then schedule a pickup right from your home or office. For a limited time, go to stamps.com and use code podcast for a free welcome gift. Taxes and fees apply.