KATHERINE RYAN: HOW I CHANGED MY MINDSET & MADE A LIFE FOR ME & MY DAUGHTER

0:00Coming up in this episode of Great Company. I spoke about my experience with someone. Yeah. I didn't say his name. It has been an open secret in our industry as someone who is predatory. Everybody cared all of a sudden. They were like, who, Catherine, who? I was like... Was that nerve-wracking to talk about it? I certainly think, well... Hello, I'm Catherine Ryan and I am in great company. An actress, writer and podcaster. The hilarious UK-based Canadian comedian. The one and only Catherine Ryan. If you are a woman doing any kind of comedy, there are adjectives used to describe you that they wouldn't use to describe a man.

0:37Like they use quite aggressive language with us. And people have asked me in interviews like, well, how are you going to explain to your children? They look at your material and they see what a dirty mouth you have. I'm like, is anyone asking Frankie Boyle that? So true. Yeah. What do you say to that though? I was 24. I was fearful, like literally fearful for my life. And then I thought I would lose my daughter somehow. It was never a place of comfort. There was never a place of financial security. But no one's ever really been that supportive to me. Really? Bobby's not. This is my first time parenting with a partner.

1:13There is friction and you have no one but each other. But we have perspective and we have empathy. Doing comedy now, do you still have that same buzz, that same excitement? It's different. I don't like when people... You're the greatest. The greatest company? Is that what you're going to call this episode?

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3:13Hello everyone, my name is Jamie Lang, and this is Great Company.

3:20Hi, I'm going to say it first, hi. Hello, Jemima. Hello, Jamie. Welcome back to all you wonderful listeners. It's a great company podcast. Wow! Yeah, very exciting. My little owls, our wonderful listeners. You haven't said this for a while. Hoot hoot. Can I say, we recently did something live. Well, actually, it was a while ago. We did a live show, yeah. And I'm at Wilderness. Thank you to anyone who came. It was really great. A few people have spoken to me about it. They were there. We did not hoot with the audience. No, but I don't think it's a thing. I got home and it annoyed me. I don't think it's a thing.

3:48I know. Look, if we ever do a live tour, then we can possibly bring it in potentially. I'll try it. I'll dip my toe in a hoot. I want to say welcome back to the show. Thank you so much for coming back. Now, today's episode is another... I mean, I feel very lucky that we keep saying this but it is kind of true. We get to chat to so many amazing people and each episode I walk away going, that was great. And if you enjoyed today's episode, remember we have a catalogue of other episodes that you can go and click on and listen to where you can be entertained and inspired and educated throughout. They're all brilliant in their own way.

4:18Today's episode is with Catherine Ryan. And it is a hoot. It's a real hoot. And some people are probably thinking, well, I've heard Catherine on the podcast. This Catherine that you're going to experience today is different to wherever you've seen her before. We talk about parenthood. We talk about comedy. We go into details around when she spoke about, you know, the time that she felt a little bit uneasy with a certain individual in the comedy circuit. Lots of different things happen. and also she talks about her new show which Jampot have created and asked her very kindly to host it which is called Write Me Dirty if you haven't listened to Write Me Dirty Catherine is the host she explains it all in the show today we'll leave a link in the description as well which you go and click on and go and listen to it because it's a fantastic show it's a very good show I'm really excited for this one today remember if you haven't subscribed to our show already please do click that subscribe button it's free and it does us wonders also get in touch via Instagram at greatcompanypodcast or you can send us an email greatcompany at jampotproductions.co dot uk you ready for this joanna i'm very excited about this episode here we go enjoy this episode of great company with katherine ryan hello i'm katherine ryan and i am in great company if you died i plan to and i wasn't at your funeral would you be upset oh i'm not gonna have a funeral my body's just gonna be kicked down the street after being harvested by medicine Like, I don't care at all.

5:44You're not going to have a funeral? I would be livid if people did a funeral for me. What? Or posted about my death on social media. Get out of here. I want a complete blackout. You're just going to go from alive to nothing? Yes. That's it, done? Yeah.

5:58For real. Really? Yeah. You don't think you'll be missed? And you want to be celebrated? No, I just want to disappear slowly into the abyss. Posthumous Catherine Ryan does not exist. because I think I don't like when people die and then everyone posts like, here's my selfie that I got with him one time six years ago where he looks like shit, but I was there. Like I just, I don't think anyone does it justice and I want a dignified silence. If, God forbid. Yeah. But if you died, write me down, it would do really well. Oh yeah, right. It would do really well. Yeah. Just put sad music over the filth.

6:47Look how good you look. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So the last time I came on a podcast with you, I looked so bad that my husband was accused of being an abuser. Because people were like, look at Catherine. She's been crying all night. And I was like, no. I feel great. I'm just over 40 now. And they were like, he's an abuser. Like the comments. I was like, okay, I need to get a facelift just so Bobby doesn't go to jail. We had a problem with our lighting. No, I had come off a flight from New York. Yes, you had. And I was probably pregnant then too. And I had some like lymphatic issue, like whatever. And I did my makeup in the car.

7:29And I used to be young and fresh and I could turn up to places post Heathrow. But no, on this occasion, people jumped straight to assault.

7:42And I don't think that would have happened if I weren't sat so close to Sophie. You know what I mean? Are you abusing Catherine? All the comments were like, yeah, look at her. Look at her. She's been crying for days. And I was like, okay. Oh, God. Do you read the comments sometimes? Obviously you do. Yeah, but they don't bother me. I like them. Yeah, so do I. Yeah, sometimes I'll read them and I just find it interesting. I'm very ambivalent towards like criticism. I think it's all good for the brand. At the moment we're talking you're pregnant. How are you feeling? Like shit around you because of how well your wife is doing.

8:22It's not though, I swear. I think we're the same pregnant. I think. Like game, recognize game. This is my seventh pregnancy so I know everything. I always think I know everything. This is your seventh pregnancy? Yeah, because I'm old, so they don't all make it past the first trimester, which sounds dark to talk about, but I'm fine about it. It's just part of life. Yeah, yeah. It's tricky to talk like that around young pregnant people because you don't want to sully their experience. Like once you know the math, you don't go into the scan with the same pizzazz. You're a bit like, oh, God. No, I'm with you.

9:00But I'm like you. I'm very honest and open with these things. But I'm sitting from a male point of view, so I find it almost, I can't really say anything. I feel bad what I can say about that because I haven't been in someone's body or experienced that or gone through that. But it is, you know, it happens a lot. Yeah. And people kind of just started talking about it in lockdown, weirdly. And now everyone's very open about it. But I always think of the first timers and you go, oh, you don't want to spoil it for them. Like I see girls, I've worked with girls, runners and production assistants. We're like, good news, I'm six weeks pregnant And I'm like, oh, okay And I'm like, because I don't know how it's going to go I know And I just, and they're so excited And they're like buying things I'm like What do you say to that though?

9:47Because it is, because when people, it is Especially when, when Sophie and I got pregnant I'll be honest with you When Sophie and I got pregnant straight away She phoned her mom, she phoned everyone And I was a bit like I was like, I don't think we should Keep it? I don't know if we should keep this You know the first Just to caveat the first time she thought she was pregnant Yeah We were in a restaurant together And she told me she said I think I'm pregnant And you left And I left I'm a fan of yours Jamie I know what you do in your life Man it was a lot it's a lot to handle And that's because you needed to Decompress and go for a walk Yeah because I was I think it's I think it can be very scary Pregnancy And also from a guy point of view There's no control whatsoever But you're married And you've wanted 10 kids for a while Yeah But it was still a moment Where it's like Wow I wasn't expecting that It's like oh my god Okay this is actually happening And it's your body And I want you to be okay And yada yada yada And all these different things So it was a little bit scary So I walked out But then she wasn't pregnant So we had a little party So he came back And paid the bill I can see that It's a huge shift.

10:59You don't even know. You're being all cute about it. Like, we're having a baby. I know. Yeah, you wait. Just give me the lowdown on it. Because when you had your first baby, expected it was. Yes. Nervous? No, I was 24. I knew I was in the wrong relationship, which was annoying. I got diagnosed with lupus, which is an autoimmune disease that makes your body attack healthy cells and organs. And when you first get diagnosed with lupus, you Google it and it looks really bad. It looks like you could die. Selena Gomez had a kidney transplant. There are a few celebrity lupus people. And I was like, oh my gosh.

11:39There was no Selena Gomez back then. Okay, so who was it? She was not born. Seal. I was like, I could end up like Seal. Who should, I think, be more famous in this country. He's British, but he's more celebrated in America. I love Seal. I love Seal. I love Seal. He's a lovely guy. Have you met him? Yes. What? Because of a lupus meeting? We had a lupus meetup. We did some, the one show together. You did? And then also we did a corporate gig together where he was performing. And do you know, he did not want to record Kiss from a Rose, the song that made him a, because it wasn't his favorite song at the time.

12:23And it was a Batman franchise. I don't know if it was already attached to Batman, but he just was like, I don't know about this song. I don't believe in it. Yeah. And then like, boom, boom. Kiss from a rose on the... Huge. So you did a good... So the one show, did you say... Was that the first time? Yeah. Did you say to him, I also... Yes, I did. Well, you know the one show. They like a bit of whiplash on the one show. They were like, let's talk about your projects and autoimmune disease. And so then one of the things about lupus is fertility. they go you might never have kids and so i just thought oh i better have violet straight away so then i was trying she seems unplanned like it was a bad idea i was poor and with a man who turned out to be a real wild cat was this the one that i know we spoke about the other one but this is the your partner who's also the bodyguard was no not the security man no no he's dead he's long dead, Jamie.

13:20When my current husband and I split up in high school, I was forced to maintain my own dignity to sleep with the prom security guard who was 31. And that's like a complex set of decisions that I can't get into right now, but it worked. I got my husband back didn't I he's jealous I play a long game full of self-harm um so when I had Violet that was with someone else someone totally random who is that you don't know him you'll never know him he's he like he just lives in another country now he's not really being they text do they and he's kind okay but real like not what I would choose if I had a I did have a choice, I suppose, but, you know, isn't like materially important, has never contributed financially, doesn't make sacrifices that I think.

14:18And do you ever say anything? Nope. Wow. So you don't expect and so it doesn't bother you because I've learned this in life, actually. As soon as you're like, as soon as you expect stuff, that's when you always are disappointed. Just never really expect things to happen and you just kind of allow it to happen. That's it. And I think I learned very early and it was a beautiful lesson for me, actually, that I can't control other people and I shouldn't try to. And when I had nothing, I realized I had everything already. And if I try to manipulate people into doing what I think is right, then that's even if I have good intentions, that's a form of almost narcissistic behavior.

15:00That's quite you. So when you had nothing, you realized you had everything. What do you mean? Well, when I was very young and had Violet and I felt really insecure with my career and financially, all my family was 3 ,000 miles away. I was here. Violet was born here. Then that relationship dissolved and I was fearful, like literally fearful for my life for a while just to be like, oh my God. because I had this idea about men that still persists in my material where I kind of think that they're killers. I say men are nature's gun. You're statistically most likely to be killed by the one in your house.

15:35And the facts back it up. So how am I supposed to climb down from that ledge when there's Netflix documentary after Netflix documentary proving me right all the time? So I didn't feel like I could really break up. And then when I broke up with him, I wasn't sure how he was going to react. And then... You were scared? I was really scared. And then I thought I would lose my daughter somehow. Like I just felt very vulnerable and very threatened all around. And you're how old? 25, 26. You're so young. Yeah. And you think you're older than you are then? For sure. You think you know, and looking back at me at 20, you just, you know, I knew nothing.

16:13And especially to be like paycheck to paycheck in this country, I'm glad I experienced that. I know how scary it is. And you just go, what can happen I don't even own this baby the council owns this baby as far as I'm concerned I don't know what they can do what can happen like I have to make a life for us somehow and I realized pretty quickly I was going to be the one who would do that I wasn't obviously going to get help from anywhere and then um I just instead of being fearful all the time and anxious I was like well she's healthy and she's safe and I decided in that moment that's all that matters and we don't need.

16:47Wow. Yeah. And then. That's quite a freeing moment. It was. That's cool. But what happened was as soon as I lent into gratitude and I had this mindset of abundance, I was like, I have everything. I have mental health, which I always did. Yeah. I have like youth on my side. I have this beautiful, healthy child. Not everybody has that. She's safe. I'm safe. Yeah. I have everything. Then all of these things and opportunities started coming into my life. Do you know what? I'm not even kidding you. I say this the whole time, but I've started praying every night and every morning. Yeah. So I get, and I don't know who I'm praying to.

17:27I'm not really religious, but I just give thanks. I thank for everything that's in my life. And I always thank that Sophie and our unborn baby are happy, healthy, and content. And when I started doing that, things sort of fall into place a bit better. I don't even know if I believe in that, but it feels like I am now believing it. It's, I think, a form of manifesting. I think that you can attract things into your life. And it's hard for you to give people that advice because they will turn around in this country and say, it's easy for you to be grateful, blah, blah, blah. But when I was really on the breadline, I discovered that same gratitude.

18:07And it does work. It's better than not having it. Yeah. When you're on the breadline Yeah And you are going from paycheck to paycheck That is a really pretty scary time Yeah Because you don't know how you're going to eat You don't know how you're going to pay your rent You don't know how you're going to do That's a You're just pure survival really But I always had faith that I would figure it out And I always did Just figure it out But it was never a place of comfort I could never like kick back I was always hustling Which again was good at 25 26 but um no there was never a place of financial security i was always like there i was such a good accountant at that time now i have no idea what my end goings and outgoings are i just don't know the mx bell comes in i'm like well but then i was like meticulous everything that was good what makes a great parent honestly in your opinion because because you've gone from being a single mom yep to then being in a relationship and having to like manage that because the thing that keeps i'm keep saying to sophie it's going to be great we're going to do this together and she keeps saying no no this is going to be a lot for us and we may not be the same but we'll find our way back to it i'm like what are you kidding me that feels like a lot to handle yeah so so give it to me so so how do you navigate parenthood i don't know what makes a great partner this is my first time parenting with a partner um and bobby and i do fall out slightly not really like we really get along quite well but we do have resentment back and forth we do keep score back and forth sometimes which is annoying yeah that's a bad thing because as a single mother you don't have to keep score with anyone because you just know it's all you but it's very difficult just as a mammal not to notice when like one monkey's getting more treats than you got and you're working hard they've done like actual lab studies about this so when you're really tired and the other person you think is not doing exactly what you're doing there is friction and you have no one but each other to offload on because your adversary is a baby it's a lot isn't it it's fine it's fine it is fine like we're fine we have almost four kids now and it's okay man that is like a lot but we have perspective and we have empathy and we have patience and i've always treated my kids from birth like people not babies so i think a lot so important you got to do that yeah don't talk to them like babies talk to them like humans yeah and i think a lot about their own autonomy like that's why i potty train them really young because i thought i wouldn't want to go to the bathroom in my nappy like friends don't let friends shit themselves at lunch is my motto.

20:53So what age did you potty train at? Three months I started. Are you serious? All my kids are potty trained under a year old, fully, no nappies. That is wild. I know. It's not, though. I was like, there's a video of me at like four, and I'm like... That doesn't surprise me. Strapped. They had to strap me to a potty. But you know why? It's because in Western culture, post-industrial revolution, whatever, and like women started going out to work, we had to put children in institutions like daycares and we couldn't look at them as much as we used to. And nappies became a necessity for capitalism. And most of the world look at their kids and spend time with their kids and the kids do want to be clean.

21:39And if you wait until they're 18 months to potty train them or whatever most people are doing here, then that is a child who's really stubborn. And that child goes, actually, I've already been trained to go in my nappy and I'm going to keep doing that. And that's why it's hard to potty train them. But if they never know a life with a nappy, so my kids always had a nappy, but it was a fail safe. I was not training them to go in the nappy. I would often take it off and just put them on the potty and read them a story. When they woke up, I would take it off, put them on the potty, hold them if they can't sit up themselves by six months, especially when they start solids.

22:09You can tell when they need the lube. You read them a story, they go to the bathroom and then you don't put the nappy on for like 40 minutes and they get the feeling of being not in a nappy. This is insane. I love this. It works. It actually works. I thought my first daughter was a genius. And then my son was potty trained before a year. A boy. And I thought, okay, this just works. And then my daughter that I had after, Fred Fena, she was potty trained under a year. She was probably like 10 months potty trained. And I just said, oh, it just works. It does.

22:42Can I ask a terrible question? And I'm going to ask this because I don't know how this is going to last. I'm just going to try and say it. And I'm trying to navigate it in the right way, and you just tell me how wrong it is. Do you think it's easier as a woman to talk about everything and anything than it is for a man to do it, or is it the opposite way around? I don't know. That's not a terrible question. I certainly think, well, because it's both. Because if you are a woman doing any kind of comedy, then there are adjectives used to describe you that they wouldn't use to describe a man. Agreed.

23:22They'll call you, yeah. They'll say you're vulgar or crass or caustic. Or anytime I speak, it'll be like, Catherine Ryan slams this. Catherine Ryan, meh. Like they use quite aggressive language with us where, you know, you wouldn't be like, oh, Jimmy Carr is so crass. and people have asked me in interviews like well how are you going to explain to your children you know when they look at your material and they see what a dirty mouth you have i'm like is anyone asking frankie boyle that so it's so true yeah in a way though i get what you're saying about women because for me a lot of comedy is about surprise yeah which is why give me an example of that what do you mean so like i mean that's hard off the top of your head i know well i just think the pullback and reveal of a punchline, it might be, well, it's hopefully not what the audience are expecting you to say.

24:11They shouldn't be able to finish your joke for you. It also should maybe have a juxtaposition to what you look like. Sometimes the surprise is that it's shocking and they wouldn't expect it to come from you. You've also spoken in the industry and like how toxic it has been in certain people, right? Was that nerve wracking to talk about it? I didn't think anyone would care because I was speaking about, so culture again moves so quickly that all I can do is give my perspective from my experience. I spoke about my experience with someone whom I was not abused by, but I believe very strongly has been an open secret in our industry as someone who is predatory.

25:00And no one's ever cared. Everybody's always spoken about it. People know or people allegedly feel that they know. And no one's ever cared. So I thought, well, if I talk about it now, I didn't say his name. I thought no one's going to care. And then all of a sudden, just the time, the timing of culture. Weird, isn't it? Everybody cared all of a sudden. They were like, who, Catherine, who? I was like, what do you mean who? Everybody knows who. Everybody's always known who. Why do you care now that I've said it? I was describing an event that happened eight years ago anyway. no one's cared that whole time and that event was very public i was in front of loads of people just basically being a dick to the sky for fun and um no one cared and then all of a sudden everyone did care so i think that is also what confuses some of these predatory men as they go what everyone was doing it it was fine now you're mad especially the really older ones who like would grab ass at the office christmas party they're like what's wrong with that now not in my you know no but i know what you mean probably had my ass grabbed probably i've been to the playboy mansion i worked at hooters it's probably happened but it was a different time jamie it didn't bother me but but i also think like yeah so so okay because you're such like an open book with so many things what does upset you oh i do get upset about genuinely upset what actually genuinely upsets you there's a song on sesame street that will i am sings and i can't even listen to it and you wait until your baby is born.

26:29My God, what is it? It's awful. So he, well, when you have the baby, you'll be very emotional anyway. Yeah. And it's Will.i.am, you know, and Sesame Street, if you know the backstory. Tell me the backstory. It's like puppeteers making one of the first educational shows for the latchkey kid generation because these children were kind of home after school. and instead of just, you know, Roadrunner and Coyote killing each other, they were like, let's make television that enriches their lives and makes them feel special and teaches them letters and educates them. So it was really like high-value TV.

27:08And then I thought about kids who aren't told that they're special and why this song has to exist. And Will.i.am goes, What I am is what's in me. I'll be strong, that's who I'll be. And I will always be the best me that I can be There's only one me, I am it Have a dream, I'll follow it It's up to me to try And then all the other Muppets are in it Oh, get out of here And they're like This sounds great It's funny, it's Will.i.am Yeah And then they say nice things He goes, um Yeah There's like an interlude What is the part that really makes me cry? Oh This upsets you or makes you cry? I am special Yeah What I am is musical.

27:51What I am is strong. And the Muppets are bouncing up. What I am is brave. What I am is special. And you cry at this? I always do. And then he goes, there's nothing I can achieve because of myself. I believe in no. And I just, if I actually see the Muppets doing it, I'm getting slightly upset now. I can see, yeah. I just feel like I watch that song and Will.i.am has to give these affirmations to kids and be like, what I am is brave because no one's telling them that and so they have to get it from Sesame Street and then they listen at home and they're all alone on the floor watching Sesame Street after school because their parents are like scoring crack I don't know and they're like I can do it and they and that really moves me a lot and then of course yeah world issues oh yeah which is why I don't talk about them because I don't know how to find the light in that dark okay talk to me about this because this is one thing.

28:45We spoke about this last time we were on, but the whole intimacy. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I've gotten better at that. Obviously. You're struggling. Because I think during pregnancy, sex is off the cards. And last time we spoke about the fact that Sophie was like resistant to it. So when we were, you know, this is where I get awkward. It's okay. I already know this because I follow your journey. Your wife doesn't want to have sex. So, does that always happen in relationships when someone feels pregnant? No, I don't know. Okay. I think it ebbs and flows anyway. How long have you been together now total?

29:30Six years nearly. Like, how often do you want to be having sex? Not that often. How often, please? Well, I could. I could do it all the time. All the time. Yeah. Even all the time. Not all the time. Okay, because you kind of have a business to run. I can do it all the time. But like once a week, twice a week. You should at least be doing it twice a week, I think. Whoa. Is the national advice. Get out of here. Yeah. Because... Twice a week? Well, when we were really up against it and the kids were very small and I was touring and working and we were doing it twice a month. Yeah. And I only knew that because I always log it just out of habit.

30:09No, you don't. Yeah, because we were always... You log it? so wait sorry you put it in a little like book you you write or just a little tick it's an app oh okay and it's my like trying to conceive app so that's why i got in the habit of logging it when we were trying to have fred and then throughout our marriage we've never not been trying to conceive so i put it in and that way every time i get pregnant i kind of can backtrack my data and i know when i got pregnant but we don't schedule it or we just retroactively log it as force of habit. I like data. I don't know what to tell you. And actually, I will say it's good for the marriage because I look back and I go, oh, we had sex six times this month.

30:49We had sex five. We have sex about five or six times now a month, which is a - I think we were stud. I know that. That is freaking unbelievable. That is unbelievable with kids in it. Well, but it used to be like twice a month, so it got low. Yeah, but that's because you were touring. Yeah. Yeah. What? I do think it is important to make an effort. I think that you're meant to have three kinds of sex. This is through everything I've heard and read. Okay, give it to me. I think you are supposed to have scheduled sex, which is not the most exciting one. But when your lives get busy and when you have children, sometimes you do have to go, look, there's a gap here.

31:27We should meet up and have sex. You should have spontaneous sex as well. And then I forget what the other one was, but you can look that up for yourself. I don't know I'm quite busy Jamie I have sex six times a month okay but um yeah you have to keep doing because the longer you leave it like I hear women since I've spoken quite openly about our sex life people reach out to me and they'll be like what do they say? oh my god some people think it's disgusting like I have to fuck my wife every day or I will explode I'm like okay that's not that can't be real it is real for some people and that's fine it's about being compatible who is that person who has to do that I don't know.

32:36Quickies. Quickies are great. Quickies are all we do. Yeah. To be very honest with you. That's it. It's easy. And once it's done, you go, thank God we did that. It's important. Sophie, I'm on her side just because of my commitment to my gender. But she, I think, would be happier. Because don't you feel like if you haven't had sex, you're in a fight? Yeah, you need the release, I think. You do have to be having sex. But I tell you what pregnancy with Sophie has taught me, and I've said this before, has taught me patience. I become way more patient Okay Like because I love it that I'm using you like my therapist But it's true Because you realize that Whatever your wife, your partner Or whoever you're Is going through pregnancy You realize how insane it is And how like Their body is changing And their hormones are changing And so much is going on And so you kind of What you do is you You sort of give them A sort of Hall pass to everything You're feeling tired Totally fine You're feeling Totally fine And then you realize that actually being that way in life, being much more what I used to do in relationships, right?

33:41Here we go. Is I would be a, I would reflect. So if you were angry at me, I'd be angry. If you were happy, I'd be happy. I'd allow your emotions to affect my emotions. Yeah. And now because I don't do that at all. And I've learned that you don't have to reflect emotions. So you're like backing out of what sounds like it used to be codependency. Yeah. yeah you think that's what it is it sounds codependent to mirror someone's emotions and to make it about you like i'm only happy if you're happy and if you're cross i'm cross with you it's a codependent relationship but that's okay i'm codependent i'm pretty codependent too you have to be aware of it it can be a fun thing but um you sound like a really nice husband and a really good partner no i think i am it's great and i'm very excited to become a dad i'm like beyond excited i know you are and i'm really excited for you i'm beyond excited if you knew the gender which you don't have to tell you're not telling people what do you think it is i i know what it is

34:43but we're not telling anyone but you do know but i do know oh it's kind of fun not to know maybe next time don't find out okay and i wanted to go down this route of like not knowing and the reason sophie you just really want to i said absolutely fine but i think the next one is quite fun because then you have this whole surprise when you don't really know it's really fun we never know i don't know now. I feel like it's a boy just because I'm a fucking mutant walrus. And that's my pattern with boys. I just get like fat and I get pregnant in the face. With Fred, I gained four stone all in my neck for some reason.

35:21I was pregnant in my throat like a tropical frog.

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36:05And Zen is the one product it seems like everyone is talking about. Because there are many good reasons to make a change to Zen nicotine pouches. Reasons like Zen nicotine pouches are still America's number one choice for smoke-free, hands-free nicotine satisfaction. And you can choose between 10 varieties, each variety available in either 3 or 6 milligrams. Check out zen.com slash find to find Zen at a store near you. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. You're invited to spend an evening on Fremont Avenue. For generations, this house has been home to soulful music, good food, and cutthroat card games.

36:42Saints and sinners. Unexpected laughs and unspoken truths. Good times, hard times, and of course, family. Always family. So pull up a chair and join us at Fremont Avenue, a world premiere play only at Arena Stage. Performances start October 8th. Tickets at arenastage.org.

37:07You do your reality show. Yes. Is it intrusive? Yes. Are you excited? No, we're... we're doing a reality show. Yeah. It's intrusive. I've done a reality show before, but it's different style when it's just done. Is this one more intrusive than what you've done before? Yeah. Yeah. They're with you. So our schedule was, the only criticism I would have of our reality show that I would tweak is there was stopping and starting and cameras like visibly around. and they'd, it was very true to what was happening, but they would take us out and go, how do you feel about that? You know how they do it. And I think going into it, I assumed that it would be a lot more fly on the wall, like just kind of big brother.

37:55Like I'd be fine with cameras kind of just everywhere. I think you'd get the best of us, certainly my children. Yes. If you didn't have like a boom. And they kept kicking my cat out. And they'd be like, or like they go, she's making noise. So she has to leave. I'd be like, well, she lives here. You finally. Yeah, and they'd go, could you get Fred to come in and say that again? I'd go, no, he's two years old. I don't think we can get that again from Fred. You try to give him notes. He's an asshole. Good luck. But yours... Oh, God. Wait, wait. Are you going to film the birth? No, I don't know. No, I'm not going to film the birth.

38:39The cameras aren't going to be in, I don't know. The cameras aren't going to be in the birth. We can film it if we wanted to film it We have a choice But it's a lot Because pregnancy is a lot Then throw cameras into it It's a lot It's a lot It's a lot Oh Well it's cool I think I look forward to watching your show I can't wait On Disney But This is what's making Sophie This is what's putting her off the sex There are cameras in your house Jamie This is what she doesn't want She's not an OnlyFans If you want to fuck your wife Send the cameras home I think She's not that kind of girl Okay do you have any advice before you go about pregnancy about all of that what do i do what do i say how do i act uh do i just rub the back and say it's all going to be okay i don't know that's not very good is it i no one's ever really been that supportive to me really bobby's not really are you serious yeah he's fine but he's quite laid back bobby as well he's laid back and I'm extremely hyper-competent.

39:38So I don't complain. I don't ask for much. I do like foot massages. I love that, but I don't get many of them. I don't want to set up with Soda Sophie. Yeah, because your legs and your feet, really. You could do that. Okay. I don't know. Just don't complain about your own, you know, Bobby hurt his back golfing the other day. Oh, yeah. And he was like, and I was like, all right. But, you know. I was a bit sick the other day, and I was like, and she was like, shut up. I think that you're having a harder time than Bobby because Sophie's prettier than I am. No, she's not. So you just have to allow it.

40:14Like it's your choice to have a hot wife. That's on you. You know the DHL? Is it DHL? Yeah. The DHL guy came to my door the other day. And I came back as Sophie was at the door and he was handing it to her. Anyway, as I went, oh, don't worry, I'll take it. So I took the package and he went to me. He turned to me and said, who do you think is punching out of you and your wife? Yeah. I went, what? And he went, who do you think is? And then just walked off like it was some sort of statement. Really? Excuse me, delivery man. Let me just get a bank statement.

40:51Doing comedy now. Do you still have that same buzz, that same excitement, that same like, oh my God, when you go on stage that you did when you were first doing it? Or is it a different kind of buzz? It's different. And my tour promoter, Ian Coburn at Live Nation, he said to me, he was driving me from a show once, maybe 2015. And he said, you should remember this feeling because it only happens once, this ascension. It's really exciting and you're going to do new things and it's so magical. and then you kind of plateau almost for the rest of your career. And you might have other little bumps, you know, like it ebbs and flows, but it's never, ever going to be as exciting as it is now.

41:33And I thought, oh, no, I'll always be really excited. And then he was right. But I held on. Great advice. Yeah. It was nice. Like when I did Conan, O 'Brien in America, or when I did the James Corden show, like those American chat shows being behind the curtain and then the dry ice comes and you're like, those are quite scary experiences and you do feel sparkly yeah yeah I like to feel I don't feel much otherwise I'm very even um so you only get that dopamine maybe once or twice and then you're like well yeah and I still feel very I still feel very grateful and excited and I enjoy what I do and I it always very seriously and there is a buzz that I still get but it's not like shit your pants like it used to be and I miss that feeling if you did SNL if I did have you done no you would be amazing no but if you did SNL would that be nerve-wracking yeah because I'd be like I'm not a sketch comic I'm not an improv comic and I'm also not Travis Kelsey like to do SNL in America you have to be you know like a huge star to host it or a sketch come and they're good at their own thing I can't do improv like I can't do characters and you'll see even in the project that I'm doing with you write me dirty with your company rather anytime props were involved or I had to be a bit of an actress I was fucking livid let's talk about write me dirty yeah so this is the show that you're doing so kindly for Jam Pot, our company, which is an erotic fiction show, which sounds quite weird, right?

43:15But you can describe it. So I know that we tell people a lot about the erotic side of it. But for me, the intrigue, outside of working with you, for you, rather. No, I can only ever think that I'm working for you. No, I wouldn't have done it. If my agent was like, Sam Thompson would like for you to come in and execute his idea, I would not do that. No offense. Like, I don't have a problem with him. I don't know why that's the name that popped into my head. Will you bleep it? Is it? It's better that he knows now I'm not going to collaborate with him. Because I did hear that he was going. I am very fond of you And I love what you do But why did you say yes?

44:04Because I want to give the birth of it I phoned you up And I said I had this idea for a show Which is about erotic fiction Where I really would love you to host it Where we get your comedian friends on To write erotic fiction about each other And read it to each other And I was expecting you to say no Oh Was I actually? I actually wasn't I was expecting us to have a debate over it But you very kindly said Oh no, I actually don't mind this idea and you are very busy. You are asked to do everything. You're hosting the new Real Housewives, which we got again. I can't wait. You are going to knock that shit out the park.

44:39I'm excited. I'm so excited for you for that, which is amazing. But you got so much on. So why did you say yes to me? Well, I said, because I really like you. But then I did think the best demonstration of like who comedians are and I think the best lens to see how funny they are is when they're off foot. Yeah. So people really enjoy Taskmaster because it's comedians not really doing stand-up. They're out of their comfort zone. And people really liked LOL on Amazon Prime because it was comedians off stage being themselves. And I think... Are you in the next series? No, I'm not allowed, I don't think, because I'm not British.

45:17It's a weird thing. What is that rule? They're all British. Sorry? That's the weirdest rule I've ever heard. You voted Brexit, not me. Oh my God, what? Well. Okay, well you'd be amazing, yeah. So I loved the idea because comedians are weirdly prudish. We'll talk about sex if we have a punchline and we're ready to talk about it. Yeah. But I thought this would be so destabilizing and awkward for the comedians to face one another and have to read aloud the erotic fiction that they have composed about their opposite subject. I thought they were going to be so, so off foot with that, that it's going to be hilarious.

45:58And I couldn't wait to be part of that because that is when you get comedians at their best. And they're so funny. And do you know what? You're so right. And the thing for me is this, is that I grew up, right, on like eight out of 10 cats and like mock the week. And these amazing like comedy shows that I just love more than anything. And slowly by slowly, just because of the landscape, those have disappeared. Yeah. Because there's no funding. Shows have changed. TV is in a tricky place and so I'm desperate to kind of bring that sort of comedy shows back to the sphere and allow people to see comedians doing funny things because we don't get to see comedians you have to either go to a show or you have to see a standout special or you have to see you on a podcast you can't see comedians being comedians and this is that show that kind of does it I feel they're so funny because they can't help it and you don't also see them writing erotic fiction I mean, it's a real fish out of water thing for comedians, but they managed to make it so authentic to their own style.

46:56We've had people really go for the filth. Do they really? Who went for the real filth? Felicity Ward has got a real future, I think, in erotic fiction. Some of them are very kinky in their real lives and they're happy to talk about that. You have loads of sexual orientations and genders, and I try not to judge. There are people who really go there, and then people who really don't, but it's still funny, and they're so embarrassed. It's just great. It's a new side to everyone's favorite comedians. I love it. It's very, and also, the idea is, is like, this is, these type of shows need to happen more.

47:38Yeah. Like 100%. We need to bring that kind of like fun entertainment shows back to TV, back to this landscape. We got to make it happen. And people say with LOL, with Last One Laughing, that's a prime example that there's an appetite. You know what I mean? There's a total appetite for watching funny people do funny things. So why are we creating more of that? I think they're trying to. I think commissioners really were shaken up by the success of Last One Laughing on Amazon. They really were. They were like, oh, hang on, we still need to invest in comedy because people really do need that release now.

48:15And this is two kinds of release. Wanking and laughing and crying. Three kinds of release. We're going to leave the link to the show in the show description. So go and check it out. Write Me Daddy. it is because it is sexy as well it's sexy and it's so funny it's so good and you're it's just it's honestly I'm extremely proud like it's just brilliant in every single way so I'm just so excited for people to listen to it your team have done a really good job talked about hosting the Real Housewives of London yeah come on do you know a lot of these ladies I know none of these ladies what I don't know any of these ladies but Sophie watches these shows yeah Like it's on repeat?

48:59I'm a real fan of the Real Housewives franchise. Okay. And some cities hit better with me than others. There are so many that I haven't watched them all. Do you like Atlanta? I like Atlanta. I fell off Atlanta a little bit. It became a bit love and hip hop for me, and I had that one as well. Yeah. You had love and hip hop? Yeah. Where Cardi B was discovered. Are you serious? Yes. Okay. Uh-huh. I love Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I really liked the Orange County one for a time. But I am told by the producers, and I've yet to see an episode yet, but they're like, London will blow people's socks off.

49:39Get out of here. And they've purposely chosen. Are you serious? Yeah. London? Well, yes, because these women are very international. They have access to the world. They also have a huge amount of wealth, which is obviously important for the show. Totally. But they're unknown. I think they've cast it really well. A lot of people in the beginning when the cast was announced, they were like, we were expecting like famous London housewives. But it's like, no, no. You want to break stars on these shows sometimes because they are so much more authentic if they're not media trained. Yeah, because then you get it because they don't know what they're doing almost.

50:12It's true though. When you're not media trained, you kind of just go like, well, I'm just going to go into it like it's just me and I'm going to just do and say whatever it is. As soon as someone comes media trained, you lose that kind of authenticity it's the thing that Sophie and I are so drawn to and when you have like a fuck off amount of money you're just like here I am I don't give a shit would you ever do it? be a housewife I don't know that I would qualify to be a housewife I don't think I'm home enough do you have to be Do you have to be a home housewife to become a housewife? I think it has evolved, hasn't it?

50:56I think it's evolved. A lot of them have companies and they're really busy. They all go to jail. Like, why is everyone in jail? Like, one I saw, the guy was being arrested, like, on the show. That's right. I don't know. Would you guys ever do it? Because presumably you'll get to an age. Where I become. And it's also the only place you can see women over 40 and over 50 on primetime television. Like, there aren't that many spaces for glamorous over 40s, over 50s women, and Housewives is it.

51:34You're the greatest. And you really are. The greatest company? Is that what you're going to call this episode? Yeah, this is the greatest company. Oh, Kathy, you're the best. I've got eight questions to end on. Quickfire, you ready for this? Yes. What's a saying or phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up? I like when Jimmy Carr says, never complain, never explain. Love that. Best compliment anyone's ever given you? Someone in a comedy review called me tiny in 2012. I was tiny. That's during the whole like split era. I was really... Was that it? Yeah. That's really good. Breakups kind of. This is the break.

52:13Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was the revenge body. Yeah, 100%. What scares you most about yourself?

52:21What scares me about myself? Yeah, maybe nothing. Yeah, I think I do always move forward and I will just do. I will like act. You're a doer. I'm a doer and sometimes I think I could take that too far. Like you never know what I'm going to do, but I'm going to do something always. And usually that's just like, you know, order too many boxes. I'll tell you what scares me about myself is I keep saying to everybody, you watch 2026. You wait because I'm planning on getting plastic surgery. And I just don't know how far that's going to go because I'm done having babies after this one. So that plastic surgery, you know, definitely a facelift.

53:04I wanted to go to the guy who did Kris Jenner, but he's very expensive now because everyone knows he did Kris Jenner. How much does he cost? I had a consult with him. he said 175 and then everyone thousand us dollars sorry okay 175 000 us dollars to have a facelift yeah but it's that it's the guy it's good okay so brad pitt's gone there allegedly allegedly um then everyone found out about him doing chris jenner and now it's 240 already and i was like please i just have to have a baby can you wait and his secretary's like it's gonna to be higher so he is 240 000 but i respect him because if you could do 150 facelifts a year or 75 facelifts a year for the same price you're gonna do 75 and he's an artiste like he is the best you know what you're getting so no i'm probably not gonna go to him now unless you've got another podcast idea in the works unless this one blows up really smashes it we can freaking go okay i don't think you need a facelift um but also by the way i'm always about if people want to go and do it i'm gonna be like michael douglas when i pick my kids up i'm gonna be so stretched back yeah man it's gonna look great nobody needs a facelift and i think that's the saving grace of my mental health is that i it's not like i look in the mirror every day i go oh no i just think i'm done having babies wouldn't it be nice to have a facelift yeah because it does take a lot out of you i've been pregnant for five years when was the last time you cried almost now singing about Sesame Street.

54:29But overall, I don't really cry. What about you? Oh, when I watch military people coming home to their families. After mowing down innocent civilians. You know, they've been tricked by their government to go there. And they will suffer a lifetime of unattended mental health issues. that's what gets me but their dog's excited to see them you're right

55:07what's something you can't let go of anything like i i remember i've never taken classes i remember everything in my life not everything yeah pretty much and bobby any indiscretion you remember i'll never let go of it and i'm not hold it i will forever and i'm not cross about it day to day but he cannot uh anticipate me forgetting anytime soon when's your birthday june 30th i'm cancer cancer okay again it's like savi she doesn't forget it but holds on to remember them yeah and then like sometimes in therapy they'll be like just let that go i'm like oh sorry i haven't had like a traumatic brain injury like i just remember and i'll hold on to i'm not mad about it but is that and i get in trouble sometimes because people will go, do you trust your husband?

55:51I say, no, I don't. I love him, but I don't, I remember what he did to me when we were 16. One of the best things you ever say, I always think is how men can leave the house with the best intentions. What are you, what did you say? You say you can leave the house with best intentions and they can blow their lives up. Yeah. You're one stupid mistake away from exploding your whole lives every day. And I've seen it. A respectable husband and father leaves the house with good intentions, finishes the day on a bag of cocaine face first in a sex worker's asshole. You want to tell me why that happens.

56:23We can't trust you guys. And even you're disappointed when it happens. The men are like, oh no, I love my family. But it's like, you just go rogue sometimes. And I'm ready for that. Oh no, I love my family. Yeah, these guys, you know these guys. I know these guys. They're not happy about it. They love their wives. They're like, oh my God. Yeah. Having a dick 20 years from now will qualify you for disability insurance. What's your guilty pleasure? Real housewives. Of course. What's your biggest turnoff?

57:04Smoking, I think. Yeah. And I know you smoked around Sophie recently at the wedding. I had one cigarette. Okay. One. And it wasn't even near her. You tell that to your child with the iron lung. I only had one Bobby smokes Seven or eight cigarettes every day It's really like Just not It's not of Like where I'm vibrating You know what I mean I think it's like What do you say to him when he does it? Nothing I'm very easy to get along with Yeah you are very easy to get along with But I will come here and say I come off On a public forum And you don't forget it I don't forget it You don't forget that shit What turns you on?

57:49I don't know. I do like a sense of humor. I think my husband is really, really, really funny. He's so funny. And he turns me on for a variety of reasons. He's traditionally a hunk. He is a really good dad. He's really patient and gentle. That is sexy as well. Yeah, it's really sexy. But historically, not all of the men I've dated have been even passable in terms of looks. But if they're funny I do get turned on by them Wait, so the people that you dated weren't hot? I've not dated anyone Like traditionally I had like one secret hot romance But like really hot Like famous hot, hot Like a hot guy Come on, who?

58:31I can't tell you Get out of here Because if I want to fuck famous hot guys, Jamie I have to be discreet What? You're not gonna What? I can't Can I just say a couple names And you can just like I'll say no. I'll say no because I want to fuck a famous hot guy again. And they're smart if I start saying it. When you were fucking the famous hot guy, were you like, I'm fucking the famous hot guy? He wasn't that famous yet. But I knew he was hot. Like, I knew. And he's still alive? Yes. Thanks. I was thinking Gene Hackman. It was Gene Hackman, yes. You got it in one. You got it in one. I can't believe you shagged Gene Hackman.

59:10I know. That's how he died. but everyone else like has been pretty ugly why? because you're so good you're hot I know that I certainly was like the uglier the hotter I was I was dating the ugliest why is that? I don't know I don't know Bobby just happens to be very good looking but that's not my usual type but those guys must have been like what the hell? yeah probably you made them very very happy Do you think they talk Do you think they say I used to hook up with Catherine No I'm friends with one of my ex-boyfriends We're very close friends Everyone else was also like a psychotic narcissist Probably thinks I'm a monster Like they've spun it to be like She left me and she But they shouldn't have been with me in the first place They don't have nice things to say about me I would presume If anyone was listening Which they're not They're not listening What do you like most about yourself?

1:00:10I like my hyper independence, even though it causes problems and is officially a toxic trait. You're meant to be able to ask for help. But I really like it. I look at myself and I go, good for you. Anyone can do whatever they want and you've got it. I love that. Come on. I love that too. Last one. Favorite swear word. Oh, Jamie. Get in there. I went to a meeting in Soho. Oh, yeah? I am a white woman over 40 with this accent. So this receptionist who was in a place of work took a huge risk. She looked at me and she said, I love your bob and haircut. She goes, I love your bob. It's giving. Cunt.

1:00:53And I went, thank you. Like she knew that I was in the queer enough sphere to understand that that was a compliment. And I said, young lady, you just took a risk today. and I want you to know that it is paid off. Gerdin, you're the best. I want everyone to go and listen to Write Me Daddy. You're amazing on it. You're the best thing in the world. We love you. Thank you, Jamie. Oh, man. Gerdin, you're the greatest. You're the greatest. You're the greatest. Oh, that was just solidly good. Normally, when I listen, I'm like, oh, that's a really good moment. I'm going to start with that. They're just loads.

1:01:33Like, really tough because it's just like a foghorn. of like everything was really good. It's not a negative of Foghorn. Foghorn is a positive. I mean it in a positive. I don't know whether... Foghorn's positive, I think. Yeah, but you know, if you imagine like waveforms, like it's quiet and then big and like that, like a journey. It's a constant. It's just constantly like every part of it was just strong. Well, if you enjoyed that episode, remember we have a catalogue of other episodes which you can go back to and listen to and be entertained in your own right. A whole wardrobe full. And we hope you like them and we hope you enjoyed it.

1:02:07so much that you'll come back next week as well because we love it when you come back. If you haven't subscribed to the show already, please do click that subscribe button. Also, Write Me Dirty, the show that Catherine Ryan is hosting is out. It's live. It's hilarious. It's wonderful. Very, very, very funny. We're going to leave a link in the show description which you can click on and go to that. Remember, get in touch via Instagram at greatcompanypodcast or send us an email greatcompany at jampoproductions.co.uk and we'll see you next week for another episode of Great Company.

1:02:51Hi, this is Knox from the Popcast with Knox and Jamie. And maybe like us at the Popcast, you also know people who have been smokers or vapors. And Zen is the one product it seems like everyone is talking about. Because there are many good reasons to make a change to Zen nicotine pouches. Reasons like Zen nicotine pouches are still America's number one choice for smoke-free, hands-free nicotine satisfaction. And you can choose between 10 varieties, each variety available in either 3 or 6 milligrams. Check out zen.com slash find to find Zen at a store near you. Warning, this product contains nicotine.

1:03:22Nicotine is an addictive chemical. You're invited to spend an evening on Fremont Avenue. For generations, this house has been home to soulful music, good food, and cutthroat card games, saints and sinners, unexpected laughs and unspoken truths, good times, hard times, and of course, family. Always family. So pull up a chair and join us at Fremont Avenue, a world premiere play only at Arena Stage. Performances start October 8th. Tickets at arenastage.org.