NEIL PATRICK HARRIS on How I Met Your Mother, Coming Out & Why Fatherhood is His Greatest Job

0:00When you were shooting How I Met Your Mother, you filmed over 200 episodes. It was kind of a dream job. The whole tear of the chair. No! Unacceptable! And so not Raven! How much of Barney is you, would you say? Can you just once be cool? Oh no, what'd you fight about? Gotcha. Nice. No!

0:22Oh. I think... Hi, I'm Neil Patrick Harris. and I'm in great company. Real Patrick Boy! Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome. If I push you, could you cry on cue? And I'm sorry, it's happening right now. It's okay. He embarrassed me and it made me feel really uncomfortable. Actually getting teary. Is it good? Yeah, that was fine. Thanks. I'm not a great crier. I've cried more in the last three or four years than I've ever cried in my whole life because of being a father. They're teenagers now and they're cunts. I knew that I was gay when I was, you know, in my early teens. And so I never really imagined that as like the probable outcome, being a parent.

1:14Being how famous you were and then coming out as gay. Was it hard for you at the time? I was a little bit offended that more people weren't surprised. I expected a little more, wait, what? Him? he's so mask.

1:57anything you've heard before. Hey, he presents on all your favorite podcast platforms.

2:04Guys, welcome back to Great Company. I'm beyond excited today because we have Neil Patrick Harris. I'm going to say it again. Neil Patrick Harris on Great Company. I mean, we talk about so many amazing things. Get ready for this episode because it goes all over the place. Now, before we start, I would just like to ask one thing, which is if you can subscribe to our show. It takes one second. It's completely free and it makes us keep getting the guests that you want and keep making a better show for you. So join the amazing community that already subscribed already. All right, here we go. Enjoy this wild episode of Great Company with Neil Patrick Harris.

2:38Okay, team, tell me when. How many of these do you do? Every day? Not every day. I would do it every day, but I do it like two, three a week. Nice. Do they come out weekly? They come out weekly. Every week. So this one is coming out next week. Nice. So let's make it a good one. if you can if you could cry at some point that's great for clips will you have my crying voice you have a crying voice what is your crying voice um when i was younger i remember um i was at my episcopal church which is where uh in small town new mexico where we grew up and i'm sorry it's happening right now it's okay um my pastor he embarrassed me and it made me feel really uncomfortable actually getting teary is it good?

3:31yeah that was nice thanks can you do the if I push you could you cry on cue? if I had no you can't do that I'm not a great crier which is when I was younger and I was acting was a real triggering like block because sometimes you'd audition for a job you'd get a job and then you'd be on set and you knew that one of these days they're going to film the scene where you have to cry and when there's a big fucking camera that is like pointing at your face for the close-up and it's like it's this is the time yeah to cry go do it it's hard it's a lot of pressure on that i put on myself so that was really challenging and i don't i can't do the i don't i don't do the stoic faced one tear just dripping like the Denzel Washington good god that's impressive my face contorts like I'm passing a stone I change color it's really not great so if we were going to do some improv now with each other I couldn't make you cry I've cried more in the last three or four years than I've ever cried in my whole life because of being a father and having kids because they're teenagers now and they're cunts.

5:03I can say that. I'm in the UK, right? That's a positive thing. That's a positive thing. They know exactly what to say that will be the most damaging emotionally to themselves, to their siblings, to each other, and to us. And so I find myself like overwhelmed and rattled by just, by myself, you know? Yeah. Like after conflict that I thought would be effective that then ended in very not effective ways and just sitting like, what? God, how did that go so wrong? I've just become a dad. Congratulations. Thank you so much, man. My baby is coming out to eight months old. Wow. It's like you're swimming in a lake and the scenery is like so beautiful and it's like amazing.

5:56You're having the best time. Everything's great. You're waiting for the boat to come back and the boat never comes back. And you look across at my wife and she's like, you better fucking be enjoying this. I'm like, I'm loving it. It's really fun, but I'm a little bit tired here and I feel like I'm drowning. and my emotions now. That's sleep deprivation though, isn't it? I was just with my buddy a second ago, right? And he's a dad. He's a dad too. And we were talking about it. And I said, I'm in this stage now where if I have a conversation which is too deep about being a father, being a parent, it starts to bubble up a little bit.

6:31And I don't know why that happens. Well, I think you're not quite so myopic and selfish, right? There's repercussions and other lives at stake, literally. Before you have kids, you could say, fuck it, I won't do that tonight. Or let's change the plan. But you can't really change big plans. Don't you think too that you have to look at things in larger arcs now that you're a parent? Yeah, totally. And everything changes. Your whole mindset changes towards everything. Did you always want to be a dad? I always thought I'd be a good dad, but I knew that I was gay when I was in my early teens. And so I never really imagined that as the probable outcome, being a parent.

7:26I didn't date until super late. So the whole idea of coupling up enough to then have kids seemed so far away from the story that I was currently telling that I just never imagined it would happen. What do you mean you didn't date anyone? Not really. No, not for a while. What, because you were working so much? Because I was working. I dated some girls. But I was working a lot. And I grew up in a time in Los Angeles where I think LA is also an interesting place to grow up because Los Angeles is filled with these little pockets of the entertainment industry. You get in your car and you drive to a place and then you're with other people and then you all drive to another place.

8:11So you're often alone and sort of isolated in this bubble of your car or your house. Yeah, it's a lonely place. Yeah. So it's not conducive to just wandering and meeting someone or like catching eyes with someone or going into a bar and like shooting the shit with someone and flirting. It's not a very flirty town, LA. Is it not? No. And in the gay world back then, there was one strip called West Hollywood, which was like Santa Monica Boulevard. But that was like everyone who was there was very out and loud and proud. And I was very uncertain at that time of like how to stand tall with who I was.

8:57So to go to the Abbey or to go to Rage and just belly up to the bar as a first place to go was terrifying to me at the time. When I moved to New York or when I got to go to New York to do plays and to hang out there, very different experience. Because there's so many places to go and people really don't care because everyone's... Just doing it. Hooking and doing their own thing in their own world. And most people come to New York because they want to live life with a capital L. So then when you're there and you're feeling weird, oh my God, I'm on a date. Is anyone looking at me? I don't know what's happening.

9:44You're like, oh, no one cares at all. No one cares. But in LA, they do care. In my mind, they did. I don't know if they actually did. but maybe they actually did because when I was, times are so different now, you know? Can I ask you a personal question? Feel free not to answer. I'm sure you've been asked it a lot of times. Being in the industry that you were and being how famous you were and then coming out as gay, was it a tough moment?

10:13No, it was an inevitability at the time. I had started dating David, who's now my husband, David Bertka, well before I auditioned for How I Met Your Mother. And when I got the job, everyone on that show knew David, knew that we were a couple. But that was at a time when there were bloggers on the internet that you would go to to read the salacious, try to guess who this actor is that's gay and in the closet kind of comment. And so there was a fear that I would be the next target on that. And David and I would go to movie premieres together, but I would walk the carpet and he would go around the other side of the photographers because we weren't a couple.

11:10we could justify it and and say that's our private life which it was and we don't need to sort of parade stuff around and ask too many questions i'm here for work i have a career so does he which was all very true um but intrinsically makes david potentially feel less than if i'm getting to walk a car while he's like skulking behind right um and then sure enough the the target came towards me in a very weird way. A comment had come out that I had said that I wasn't of that persuasion, which was the quoted phrase. Someone asked a publicist about my sexuality, and the publicist said I was not of that persuasion.

12:02That turned into a, that's weird for him to say because we know that he's gay and he's like what a weird why is he doing that and so then it became i'm gonna have to say something i gotta get ahead of the story you have to control that because i don't want to be coming out in in reaction to um if anyone has any information on neil patrick harrison have you ever slept with him please come forward right you don't want those stories and so we like i crafted uh with the help of my then agent beau shoot and my publicist like we worked really hard to make a statement that was authentic to me um and that was really truthful and so we released that statement then i think at that point i was a little scared that like what would come from that like what kind of stigma would come from that At that time, there were people that would go and plant God hates fags signs on lawns of people.

13:06So it was a potential to be a bad week. And none of that transpired. There was indifference at best. there were a lot of people before my coming out that had a much harder time and that allowed, I guess paved the way for me to be able to come out in a way I was a little bit offended that more people weren't surprised I expected a little more, wait what, him? he's so mask so it was a little bit indifference to me it was a little come on really you didn't imagine me on a private island with jennifer love hewitt no that wasn't your image about me oh but i think you know now that we live in much different times and totally whoever you're thinking about when you're jerking off like that's who you should be proud to try and attract damn straight who in your life throughout your career has really been one of your mentors when i was younger there was a man named steven bochco he uh was a very prolific uh television producer and writer.

14:42He wrote a show called Hill Street Blues. He wrote a show called LA Law. And he wrote Doogie Howser, MD. And he was massively successful. And he gave me a lot of lessons really early on as someone who had never been in the industry at all and sort of kept tabs on me and checked in. He had great things to say. Is he sitting around? He's not. He passed a few years back. He was really smart. He said one great thing that I've said before, but I find it a good lesson. He said the industry of entertainment is a bit like surfing because you have to want to surf and get on a surfboard and paddle out and paddle out and paddle out and paddle out and then be with a bunch of other surfers and then you just like sit there for ages, waiting until a wave comes.

15:44And then you try and you get, and you just go fast and you kick and you kick and you try and you miss the wave. And then you have to turn around and paddle back and wait. And you do this over and over. And eventually you'll catch a wave and the wave is amazing and exhilarating and you take it as far as you can, you know. And eventually the wave ends and you wipe out or not. And then you have to sort of turn around, much like fame or the industry. and then you have to fucking you're right back in it you have to paddle back out get hit by waves that other people are riding and get like nailed by them and try not to drown and then get back up and paddle back out and wait for a whole another set of waves to come back in that's such a great analogy and it is a good analogy because it's really really true at least in the entertainment world and even though you do you still feel that sometimes oh 100 you're serious you know weirdly that's quite refreshing to hear in a way that someone of your caliber, someone with your experience, someone with your, you know, like library stuff you've done, you still feel like you need a paddle and you still feel like you need to surf.

16:49Yeah. But of course, because I think if you feel like everything that you do is going to succeed, um, that hubris is bad karma and it rarely winds up being that way. And there's so much of the creative algorithm that is so random you know you can put all these great actors into a movie and it just doesn't work they don't get along or there's problems like cats like cats the CG is just not where it needs to be at that point the fingers are weird whatever it is but you can also find like a random thing that shouldn't be good that turns out to be great you know what I mean and so all you try and do is like all I try and do is just the best work I can with any of the circumstances and hope.

17:44If you can do work that you're like, you can create work that you think is going to be exciting and it's exciting to create. Say you're writing a play. If you can have fun writing the play and then you can have fun performing the play, then you assume that the people watching it will have fun. And if not, that's sort of out of your control. So I try to find things that I think will be fun to do in all three of those phases when you were shooting how i met your mother and something like that becomes so successful right and so big you filmed over 200 episodes which is wild is that an enjoyable time while you're doing it or is it a bit like struggling because you also want to do other things do you see what i'm trying to say for sure.

18:32I think it was both. But we only filmed for half of the year, really, because you're only doing 22 episodes. So that's 22 weeks out of the year that you're filming. You got every fourth week off while the writers kind of kept writing and tightened things up. It was kind of the dream job. Monday, you'd go in for a table read where you'd sit around a table and you'd read the script so that the network people could hear it, the writers could hear it, they'd know what was landing and wasn't. You'd go home. You'd work for one hour on Monday. Tuesday, you'd go in 10 a.m. You'd rehearse the scenes with the director and just the cast.

19:14And then at lunchtime, 15 people would come in. You'd put it on like a play. People would laugh, whatever. You'd go home. Then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, you'd film. If you weren't in the scenes, you didn't have to be there. And we filmed it like it was a sitcom. Yeah. So we didn't have a studio audience, but we, you know, we had the cameras as if it was a studio audience and then just got to play for three days. Fantastic. It was the best job. So no, I mean, all everyone wants to be doing something that they're not. So you're doing a TV show. That's great. Inevitably you like wish that you could be in a Marvel franchise or something.

19:49I don't know. or like I should be on Broadway, but instead I'm on television. But no, I mean, and I, well, I say all of us. I was about to single myself out because Barney Stinson as a character was so great to play. Oftentimes when you're not the protagonist on a sitcom, you are some singular archetype that sometimes is derogatory in some way. You're like this nerdy guy that's always nerdy and every joke is how nerdy you are right but barney was just like it was the best he was delusional in his enthusiasm for adventure and i was like what a great part to play but it's it's also we were talking about earlier it's one of the best characters ever like and that's your creation that was you that's it's just i like the back and forth with the with the writing staff they'd write crazy shit for me to do and i think in my dream imagination they would write something and think oh i wonder what neil's gonna do with that and then then i'd get to say oh oh you've written this oh what just you wait let me show you what i could do with that just go with it so i would like yeah level up they'd often tell me to you know why don't we just do what was written on the page and you were like that's not good i felt like that was good they're like no that's fraud don't have to chew on the scenery like it's actual scenery No, but they'd write stuff like Barney's sick and he has a sneezing fit unlike any sneezing fit that has ever been seen on television.

21:23So that would be like something written on the page. And I would just smile and be like, I cannot wait. I cannot wait to film that. And then I'd put out my back. But it was worth it. So that was great. How much of Barney is you, would you say? like as a number? Six. I like that. Out of? Yeah. Six out of? A hundred. That's right. Six out of six. No, it was a lot of me. A lot of me. But yeah, and yet also like none of me. It was fun. It was fun to be like the serial womanizer straight guy that was very sort of college frat, you know, let's all go get a car and set something on fire. We got this.

22:21Victoria's Secret Party, let's go, right? That's very much not like me. And yet in certain ways, well, because there's other things I'm super excited about. Yeah, so you find that and you bring it into that space, right? You can ask my friends how excited I get when an escape room is an option. Do you like it that much? Oh my god Do you not? I do When was the last time you went to an escape room? I did it about two years ago I took my team Maybe three years ago Oh, okay, wait, hold on Your team What does that mean? I took the team from here in the building So I took some of these guys And we were working in a different office at that time And I liked it But it was a stressful time Right You need to go with people that aren't your team Oh, you go solo escape rooming?

23:09No, no, no with like friends. Okay. I thought you'd just go, you hang out at escape rooms and go, guys, you want to come in? You guys need a six? No, I think sometimes when it's team building escape rooms, there's like weird pressures that are there because everyone feels obliged to perform and stuff. You take your friends, it makes sense. You take your friends to an escape room, but I get it equally enthusiastic. I did the Traders Live experience recently. Have you done that? Yeah, I did it the other day. and I won don't worry I won too yeah but I think we can probably manipulate in a good way I'm that sounds bad it's a manipulation in a good way was everyone part of the team there was just another team thing it was it was still a team thing yeah I promise you I have friends was everyone at the traders table someone that you knew typically a couple of people we didn't but I knew them from someone else so we yeah everyone we were like half and half oh you went with We went with a group, but they need to fill up the 12, 16 things.

24:14So there were some people that we decidedly didn't know. And when they saw that Neil Patrick Harris was in there, did they freak out? I don't know about freak out. It made it a unique playing environment. And they're never going to call you out. No, the opposite. They called me out in the most amazing way. This one girl, Natalie, who was sitting next to us. She was fantastic. And we happened to just be sitting next to each other. And at one point I look at her and I say, under my breath, are you a traitor? And she goes, no, are you? And I was like, no. And she goes, good. And then for the rest of the time, she was like, I'm absolutely not a traitor.

24:55And I know that Neil's not either. And we're going to win this whole thing. And so we went and we got down. I was totally a traitor the whole time. And so I was having to look at friends, my friend, Emily, who gives me a look like you can tell me like let's cut the shit you can tell me she gives me a look like are you a traitor like really truthfully and i say no are you a traitor and she goes no and i was like god i was totally lying to her face yeah same and at the very end it was like four of us and natalie was convinced she's like i promise everyone i swear on everything i know i'm not a traitor and i know nil's not either and so it must be you too and you're thinking nally you fucking idiot No, I wasn't thinking fucking idiot.

25:37I was actually thinking, oh, this is going to be so tough to have to look her in the eyes and say I'm a traitor. And she was so gutted and mad. But that was the game. Loved Traitor's Live. I thought that was really well done. It's very good. Can I ask, did you ever worry about being typecast? Yes. but I don't in hindsight know what I was worried about what I was tired of being typecast as right because my first big job was Doogie Howser yeah which was four years on a really like well-received uh medical show so I guess I didn't want to be typecast as that but that was such a weird unicorn of a job.

26:24Like I don't think I would only be super smart doctors for the rest of my life, right? I wasn't worried about being typecast as that, but I was worried that I might only be typecast, only be thought of as that. I think it's really natural. And I think what's so interesting, as you said, is that it doesn't really matter what you're doing. You're kind of always a little bit envious of other people, what they're doing. And everyone seems to be envious because you're in one of the biggest TV shows in the world, but yet there's a, probably feels like a sense of like dissatisfaction because you're not doing, I don't know, Avengers or whatever is it that you're doing.

26:59For sure. And back then when you were on a television show, you were working super hard, but it was, at the time it felt a second tier to like the movie world. Like there were movie people and then there were television people. And so you'd be doing great, great work, but it wasn't valued at the same rate. And when you're 19 and 20 years old, that kind of validation means more to you. Right. And so, uh, especially back then you were declared sort of one or the other, you couldn't really, it wasn't streaming services and stuff where you could do a limited mini series and then go do a movie and then do a play.

27:41You were kind of a TV person. and so uh i was worried about sort of being typecast as that but that has fueled me to go and do um i just continued i'm pretty voracious in wanting to just do totally different weird things yeah and that's what's you know you go from doing something like that to doing like gone girl and all these incredible things and you know the big i have something in life which called a b hack right which is called a big hairy audacious girl you can take that with you if you what? Hairy or Big Hairy Audacious Goal Oh Goal I just said girl I was like very confused I'm a Big Hairy Audacious girl I think you found your drag name Yeah I got it B-Hag B-Hag But I had this thing called a B-Hag right which is in life which I think in life you kind of want to have a North Star in a way and your North Star can kind of be anything that you want it to be My B-Hag is I want to host the Oscars You've done that I have firstly what was it like and secondly is it as magical as i think it is or is it not

28:49to be super honest because i appreciate your candor and your honesty in these conversations i think to spend any time um talking about how it's not magical or fun seem what will be like out of context seem like I'm talking shit about something randomly, right? I was so honored to be asked to be a part of it. It's a very masochistic endeavor. It's a nearly impossible job to succeed in. 100%. Just because... It's impossible. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has opinions. Most people just watch the Oscars in their sweatpants at home, hoping that someone trips on steps and they can point at them and laugh, right?

29:42Or like looking at their office pool or trying to win. You know, no one's really caring about the mecha nations behind it. I was most interested in how it worked. Like that's when I've hosted the Tonys, a much of an easier job in a way because the Tonys is all people that are in shows together that are really excited that a million people are getting to watch them instead of a thousand people. And it's all performance based. So you're like, yay, next up, this amazing performance. Next up, this amazing performance. with the Oscars it was just more challenging because you're dealing with pockets of people who don't know each other who are nominated against each other for movies that they made two years ago they've since made another movie and they're right now filming another movie they've gone through the gauntlet of films so much that they all know who's going to win all of these awards so four out of the five best actress nominees are there still have to like starve themselves, wear a dress that they can't get out of to sit there and lose once again to whomever, right?

30:47That weird energy of like, we almost get to go home or get to go to Gaio series after party. It'll be over soon enough. And so you're there. So that's a weird audience. And so you just do your best. And I was just trying to make it entertaining for the the crowd at home, obviously. But then you also have to play The Room at the same time. But then play in The Room at the same time. Which is a hard thing to navigate. I thought I was doing a really good job. You nailed it, man. One of my favorites. I swear to God. Every year, when the Google alert for my name goes off around Oscar week, I'm listed as like a top worst Oscar host of all time.

31:26It's a great thing to read. I just read. See like multitudes of like top 10 worst Oscar hosts ever. and so that's like that's what it is yes you get to say that you hosted the Oscars and then you also get to deal with like the aftermath listen I got a Google alert right which said top 10 best dressed people GQ nice don't worry about it I open the email yeah I go to the site I'm guessing number 7 okay well you top 10 it's David Beckham of course Neil Patrick Harris was probably up there. Really? Yeah, I think so. I don't remember getting that alert. Harry Styles was in there. Of course. All the way down.

32:09I was like, I'm not on the top 10 best dressed. I go to the next page, top 10 worst dressed. I was number two. No. Lumped in with the best dressed. I don't know if you've had an emotion of pure excitement dramatically drop to pure disappointment. That emotion doesn't really happen back to back like that quickly. Did you agree when you saw the picture of yourself? Oh, yeah. I don't wear loafers that look like that. I think I was holding an umbrella. The whole thing was just... I'm so sorry. But yes, the Oscars was great fun.

32:52Hello and welcome to How You Presents, the podcast where reality TV gets the deep dive that it truly deserves. I'm Dean McCarthy. I'm a self-confessed reality TV addict, and you can join me as I sit down with the biggest names in the Hey You universe to uncover the moments that you love, the drama you lived for, and the stories you never got the full picture on. Every week is unfiltered, it's unforgettable, and unlike anything you've heard before. Hey You presents on all your favorite podcast platforms. looking back at your kind of like history and what you've done it's it's it's like insane what you have done from like such a young age oh like it's it's crazy and i like being a child star and becoming famous so young and then growing up especially in that time of hollywood and la where it was a different time.

33:45That would be hard to make friends, to date, to do anything because you were so famous. And that, especially being young, because I feel like when you gain fame from such a young age, you have to grow up quite quickly. You don't get to experience the same things that young kids get to do. You don't really get to go to prom. Or have your life. I don't know. Did you feel that? Some ways. I mean, I went to prom. I spent half of my high school year back in New Mexico going to my public school that I went to from when I first started. But I don't know that there's a singular adolescent track that everyone's supposed to follow.

34:26There's not a script that is like normal childhood growing up, no matter where you are, right? But your one was super different. It was very different. I was required to operate in a very adult scenario. I couldn't really just fuck off and act like a kid. I couldn't be petulant because I was being paid to work around adults who were working. So I witnessed petulance from people and it's just a time suck and a waste of energy. so I got good at knowing how to not waste time. So I guess that was good and effective. And I guess in some ways I regret that there was no chapter of anonymity where I could be and explore random potential versions of the multiplicities of myself.

35:24Do you know what I mean? Because people were sort of watching. Watching, so you couldn't do that. Yeah, so like getting stupid drunk at a bar or deciding to wear all black and mascara and like go goth to see what that feels like. You may not be goth your whole life, but it's fun to have the freedom to do it and live it, to try it. But I got to experience some of those things as a performer. So I don't really regret it like, woe is me, I didn't get to do it. because I played roles where I got to fully live within other characters that other people didn't get to do. So I'm a big firm believer that we are kind of the aggregate of our lives and we all have a handful of stuff that is profoundly challenging and some is of an abusive nature and some is of loneliness, isolation nature.

36:24And I think our life job is to come to terms with what our stuff was and still continue to make knowingly good decisions when we have the opportunity. Yeah, sorry, we all have a boulder that we're pushing up a hill. Every single person has that kind of boulder that we're sort of pushing. and everyone's is different, right? But we have our certain things. Did you always know that you wanted to go into entertainment? I was always unafraid to perform in front of people. But I grew up in a very small town in New Mexico, so I didn't know that I would go into entertainment because that really wasn't an option.

37:02But I was certainly drawn to singing, sang in the adult church choir in our tiny Episcopal church when I was like nine, eight, nine years old. and you were good. I could sing the hallelujah chorus. Get out of here. Like a motherfucker. How does it go? King of kings forever and ever. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Yeah. And it goes higher and higher and higher. It keeps going. But my testicles had not dropped at that point. So I was always kind of the kid in the small town that would be asked to be in plays or to do stuff. And I didn't have much fear about that. So if circumstances hadn't been what they were, I probably would have gone and studied musical theater somewhere or been in one of those theme park review shows where you do a bunch of costumes, do the 50s sock hop number, and then all of a sudden you're tap dancing.

38:08I always think that I would have been great on a cruise Cruise would have been fun. Man, I would have killed that. I would have murdered that and loved it. I always have admiration for the chorus members of shows that do that. They're working harder than the star. 100%. They're changing costumes all the time. They're learning the tracks of the other people. So when someone's sick, they have to do their track. They're incredibly challenging jobs. But I think they're having fun because I think on those ships, everyone gets laid with each other. That's the dream They're young and being paid They don't have to pay rent They're just on a ship And they're just getting laid Who's next?

38:48Let's go My cruise ship experience is only on Disney cruises Which are fantastic What happens? Well I'm a gigantic Disney fan I like the movies I like the princesses fine But the theme parks They're so next level They're so great the way that they can navigate everyone's enjoyment. And I love it so much. And so the cruise ship is no different. Like they have figured out how to provide entertainment for everyone, whether you're three, whether you're 93. And to see the machinations and how it works, I just love it. I can't wait for the moment when I tell my baby's called Ziggy, he's a boy. And I can't wait to have that moment where I say to him, we're going to Disneyland.

39:36and he's gonna freak out I can't wait for it I just went to Disneyland Paris it's quite shit do you think so? a little bit I love it what was the last time you went? I went like 10 years ago oh you gotta go back there's a second part now is it really? oh there is? yeah it's good good stuff there Phantom Manor is there oh good stuff it's great so getting back to your early career okay when you get your first role with Whoopi Goldberg, right? And you're so young, you're 13 years old, 15 years old. Younger, 12. You were 12? That's kind of wild to be thrown into something like that from such a young age and navigating that whole experience.

40:20Like, who's teaching you to navigate life? Who's with you? Your parents? How does it even work? Yeah, one of my parents, my parents were both attorneys at the time. So my dad, I think, stayed back. We filmed that in a state called Maryland in a town outside of Baltimore called St. Michael's. And it was just like a weird field trip. You know, it didn't feel like life was changing. It was just so weird to get a movie script FedExed to you in small town New Mexico that was from Warner Brothers. You know, that was just felt so strange because we would go visit Universal Studios every year. Yeah. And so that was Hollywood to us, was a tram tour and like King Kong shaking things up and being asked to be, you know, like driving in the tram past the set of a show.

41:16So it was all so removed. So suddenly to be auditioning for a thing and then all of a sudden getting it and going was just all new information. It was so great. Whoopi Goldberg is... Phenomenal, right? Have you ever interviewed her? I've never interviewed her. I've never met her, but I grew up with her films. She's great. Right. And the Whoopi that you see on camera is very much the same Whoopi that you see in real life. She's super authentic. She's super chill. And she was incredibly gracious with educating me about how things worked. I mean, that was a really stellar first movie to do. Because you have like a mentor almost.

41:56And you said that you were treated like an adult. For sure. Well, I had to be because I was the lead in the movie. so everyone had to treat me very like had everyone made sure that i was behaving like an adult because we had a lot of work to do right so you had uh robert mulligan who was the director you know he directed uh to kill a mockingbird uh you have freddie francis was the director of photography you know he's one of the best in he was one of the best in the whole world and then you have Goldberg, who is really, really talented and skilled. So I got to witness how a Dolly track worked and what marks were under the tutelage of people who were making big movies.

42:41It felt really great. I know that a lot of people don't have that experience. Sometimes you work with a A-list star and you never see them and they only show up and they're always kind of cranky and and you, you know, you, you, it's not a great, I've been around people who are being paid really well to do a really great project. And then it seems as they're doing it, that they wish that they were doing anything but the project. And that's fine because a movie's a different beast. It's an editor's medium. You film a bunch of things and you hope that the end result is good. That's how a lot of movies are made, I think.

43:20Weirdly, Sunny Dancer, the reason that I'm here in London talking about stuff, was kind of the opposite of that experience because it was a small group of actors and a great writer-director in George Jakes that was all excited to be together. So we're making this movie. It was kind of the opposite of the Hollywood movie style. And that I'm more drawn to now that I'm older. So elaborate on that. So Sunny Dancer, why are you really drawn to something like this? Well, I'm drawn to two things, authenticity and creativity. Those are my two sort of pillars. And explain those two for me. I've always been a creative person.

44:04So the creativity sort of is something that I'm more interested in fiction books than nonfiction books. I didn't go to college, so I don't have a lot of education as far as business management and things like that. So I'm just more interested in the creative things. They turn me on more. So anything that's creative in its base is something that I follow.

44:31Authenticity, I don't know, through lots of reason and circumstance, I guess, in life, I'm just drawn to something that seems legit that doesn't have a lot of agenda. And so I'm quick to suss out if someone has an agenda or if something's inauthentic. It's sort of like why I like the Disney theme park to go back to that, not to harp on it, but like it's super creative and it's authentic in the world that it's creating. Now, granted, super corporate, right? Like designed to have you buy the merch and watch the sequels and whatnot. but in like the theme park world of it all it's like really authentically designed by imagineers to make you feel like you're in a star wars land of batu and everyone speaks this new language and you really feel like you're completely immersed immersion i love punch drunk sleep no more like drunk is amazing unbelievable right unbelievable and what a great combination of the venn diagram of creativity and authenticity yeah it's so good um going back to your film sunny dancer what What can people expect from the film?

45:43I think people can expect from Sonny Dancer, like a proper British coming of age, horny, vibrant ensemble film of like the Guy Ritchie sort. Bella Ramsey, James Blunt, James Norton. I love James Norton. He's amazing. He is amazing. Jess Gunning. Amazing. Fantastic. The whole crew is great. What makes, I think, Saint-Anthor unique is that the premise is predicated on the fact that the location is a camp for cancer survivors, for kids who are in sort of remission from cancer. They've gone year after year. And Bella Ramsey's character, Ivy, goes under duress because her parents say, you need to get out of the house.

46:31You should go to this camp. And so she goes and has no interest in hanging out with a bunch of chemo kids who are being heartfelt. And she ends up finding her tribe and her family and falls in love. And they party and drink and sneak off and get in fights. And I play Patrick, who's the head of the camp, the president and founder of the camp. so it's a really vibrant really um kinetic film with these young this cast of young performers that are just really great in it really winning and as i spoke to before they all hung out with each other between takes and everyone really coexisted not in an inauthentic way in a authentic way about in a creative way uh together in scotland in glasgow like making this movie going on hikes on weekends.

47:32Like everyone knew each, it was very small. Between takes, everyone would just sit and talk to each other. It was kind of amazing. But do you think you lead that because you've done theater as well and because you love theater, theater is very much like an ensemble piece, right? You, because my experience right at theaters where you basically become a family. I haven't done that many movies or films or TV, but that feels like, so do you bring that energy onto set with you where you're like, maybe, do you lead that subconsciously where you create this ensemble? cost no i don't lead that at all that's just alchemy that's just randomness you can't there's a lot of that that you just can't dictate i mean theater does that but it only does that for the performers right because the people who design the sets the costumes that are um adjusting the sound and the lights they're at the back of the theater they're in the wings like you get to know some people on set of the theater.

48:25But it's hard to find a job where everyone is kind of united together. And it's really the small independent movie that does that best, right? TV shows, you can't really do that. It's wonderful factory work. Because the writing staff is coming out with new scripts while you're performing the one that you're currently performing. Sometimes there's an audience, there's a crew, they come and go, there's 50 of them. When you're doing a small independent film like Sunny Dancer, Like everyone is got to be committed to what it is. And we were in, you know, Glasgow, it could rain any day. So we had backup scenes for in case it rained, we would pivot suddenly be having umbrellas if we were supposed to.

49:05And it never rained, which I think speaks well for the film. But everyone like trusted each other, cared for each other, had each other's back. And I think it shows when you watch the movie because you're watching this group of kids live their best life for these two weeks of camp. And you realize whilst watching it, like, oh, wow, they're having to deal with life as a concept in a way that most people don't that are their age. so the fragility of time and the possibility of not seeing these same people next year hits really hard when you get to know and care about these characters and I think George did that so well in this film it's great to watch the six films that changed your life I'm going to read them to you apparently this is what you said Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back sure love that movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off great movie unbelievable unbelievable one of the greats it made adolescence seem so cool like to be so smart and and such a wise ass was great it's a wonderful life yeah it's a wonderful life it's a fantastic movie Clue Clue one of the best movies of all time I've never seen it really I've never seen it it's based on Cluedo I heard this but I've never seen it oh it's so funny okay Tim Curry Madeline Kahn it's a stacked cast it's all super funny rapid fire verbal comedy blazing saddles funny The Goonies?

50:52Goonies, fantastic movie and Annie yeah, Annie I knew every song from Annie at a very young age loved the Eileen Quinn movie, I would also add The Game David Fincher's The Game I might swap out one of the others for that with Michael Douglas I love that. That's great. I used to have a recurring nightmare about that. Really? Yeah, that I was in a game. I wasn't. That's my dream. I swear to God. Skate room addicts. You just want to be in that. If there's ever a scenario where someone can pay and you're like never sure of what, like if you're eating lunch and then all of a sudden someone hands you an envelope and then they leave and you don't know who they were.

51:32You would like that? Oh my God. And then you open up the envelope and it's like, you have to put the words together and realize like go downstairs and in the bucket will be a key oh that's i could do that forever and ever annie for me the song i think i'm gonna give it to you ready okay give it to me because this was my childhood okay tomorrow

52:00Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow. You're only a gay away. You're doing good. Annie's unbelievable. Annie's great. That was a great movie. I remember Annie was the first musical I ever saw on stage. We were in small town New Mexico. So there wasn't really much theater. Theater was done at the gymnasium at the high school. But there was a town far away, Alamogordo, New Mexico, where they have white sands and the space rockets take off there. And we drove to Alamogordo to see sort of the bus and truck tour of Annie. And I remember sitting in a stage, and it was so small that when they did the musical numbers, they just pressed play on the Broadway recording, and then the people lip-synced with the orchestra.

52:56there was no orchestra it was just a thing and i remember being so overwhelmed with how awesome that was so annie had a real indelible mark two things what do you still want to achieve and what's one piece of advice that you'd wish you'd known when you were younger i still want to achieve two things i want to um i want to have a life both personally and professionally in London. I'm a big Anglophile. I think the work here is great. We can go for dinner. I think the work here is great. And I think watching the long careers of people that continue to work here, they just work on everything. Comedy, Shakespeare, stage, film, and there's a reverence and an indifference for the arts here that I think is just fantastic.

53:57I also want to direct more. I think that's kind of my North Star would probably be directing. So film work would be great. Theater work would be great too. It was really fun to watch and to interact with George, Jake's sunny dancer director because he wrote this thing five years ago and he has directed another movie before that and he's just young and he's a finisher. You know, some people have big dreams and they talk a lot about all the things that they want to do and what shots they want to make. And Fool just does it, makes it, films it, makes it, is the loveliest. Everyone supports him, backs him, and you can see it, you know.

54:37It's palpable. It's tactile. And it was very inspiring. Yeah. And what piece of advice would you give to your younger self who was still trying to figure it out? I think in life we're the aggregate of the decisions that we make of knowingly good and bad decisions and options all the time. I think throughout our days, hours, lives, we can opt to make good choices or bad choices. And I see at 53 now that with intention, when you make better choices with no real agenda, that it pays itself back in a good way. I think that is a good way to exist. That's karma. Yeah, I love that. And also, no one really gives a shit.

55:33You work really, really hard to maintain a good attitude, a good reputation, a good thing, and then no one really cares. That was kind of like my hardest lesson to learn. I think my biggest insecurity was that I wanted everyone to love me the whole time, but actually no one really cares. They're worrying about themselves, which actually was kind of refreshing in a way. and suddenly I got to like my age which is you know late 30s now where I'm just like you get I don't know if you had this you suddenly get to an age where you sort of let go you stop worrying about stuff as much and I'm kind of in that period now which is maybe that's becoming a dad I don't know you start to not really care about stuff as much and I think you kind of have to have both of the things I said because if you just if if you just think nobody really cares nobody really gives a shit then there's not a lot of urgency to make good choices because if no one cares who cares right but i think being a parent certainly changes that game like you just you just watch people that you love and you just hope that they make a good choice instead of a bad choice what do you think your greatest achievement is and that can be as a former or in life life i want you to pick life i think being an effective father i've never i've never had a role that um that demanded so much so often that didn't just end you know every job as an actor that you do finishes you finish the run of the show and you leave you finish 200 episodes of How I Met Your Mother and then you split.

57:16But being a parent to kids where the things that you learn and the mistakes that you make and the adventures that you have together last. And so that breadth and to see how amazing Harper and Gideon our kids are, this makes me really happy. And it's sort of as a role that continues. I also have a really good OnlyFans account and I can do some nasty things I'm really proud of that I wasn't going to bring it up PR said you can't bring that up but I'm glad you spoke about it thank you I didn't know sounding was so popular but you can stick a lot of things inside your sorry wait what was your next question?

58:13Honestly, can I just say, I'm a huge fan. And I know a lot of people in the room are huge fans and you coming in and spending your time with us today. We really appreciate it. My pleasure. You are a total gent. I know you have to wrap. I have eight quick fire questions and you just have to farm them off really quick. Are you ready for this? Here we go. Okay. Saying a phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up? Rapid fire? I know. A phrase that really picks me up. You got this. Love that. Number two best compliment anyone's ever given you. Nice dick. There we go. Love that. What scares you most about yourself?

58:49My inability to stop myself when I'm really down on myself. When was the last time you cried? Oh, gosh. Three days ago. Yeah. What's something you can't let go of? when people put the toilet paper so that it's going underneath and around the back. The toilet paper goes in the front. And anyone who thinks the opposite is dumb, think about it. If you need to wipe your butt, you need to grab the toilet paper from where you're looking at it. I get it, man. I get it. I don't understand why people turn it the other way. Then you're rolling it like a cat at a scratching post trying to find the toilet paper.

59:34You know what I started doing on the toilet? Yeah, what's that? Pooping? Yeah, I poop. I pee sitting down at the moment. Do you? Yeah, because I'm a little bit tired. Weird. A little bit weird. But now what I do sometimes is I straddle it. And on the cistern, I have a little tea party. So I go backwards. I reverse cowgirl. You reverse cowgirl your pee. I get a little wine. I get a little dips. And I have a great time. What are your thoughts on a bidet? Are you pro bidet? Are you kidding me? I want to get one in our house my wife won't let me but I love it yeah the days are great and that's why I like to go to Japan because they have that little laser go on the water just hits right in that spot do you need a laser for that?

1:00:15my one's really small what's your guilty pleasure? the reality show Survivor nice one which is your biggest turn on?

1:00:30blowjobs turn on? what's your biggest turn off uh uh halitosis and what do you like most about yourself um I like my wit I agree Sunny Dancer comes out this Friday everyone should go and see it Neil Patrick Harris you are beyond great company thank you so much thank you

1:01:11Hello and welcome to Hey You Presents, the podcast where reality TV gets the deep dive that it truly deserves. I'm Dean McCarthy. I'm a self-confessed reality TV addict, and you can join me as I sit down with the biggest names in the Hey You universe to uncover the moments that you love, the drama you lived for, and the stories you never got the full picture on. Every week is unfiltered, it's unforgettable, and unlike anything you've heard before. HeyU presents on all your favorite podcast platforms.