ROB BECKETT: I’m a Chinese Takeaway & a Pint - If You Don’t Like It, Don’t Come Again

0:00I've definitely had that sort of burnout. Went viral and I've never felt sadder. Imposter syndrome, poverty mindset, it was all just done from worry and panic. What happens when you reach your limit? This is, I'll let this one off because you're nice. I cannot stand cameras zoomed in shots crying. Eat shit. Chug a heel, get back on the desk. Just got to review some thumbnails. Ironically, that'll be the thumbnail. Hello, I'm Rob Beckett and I'm in great company. You've got massive teeth, haven't you? Have I? Didn't realise, mate. You never fail to live with the very funny Mr Rob Beckett. I love being stand up.

0:37I'm providing a service. I'm a Chinese takeaway and a pint. Do you know what I mean? It's 30 quid. If they don't like it, don't come again. If they do like it, come back. How do you find your voice? Essentially, your comic voice is you, but without any worry or preconceptions about what you should or shouldn't be doing. But it takes a long time to lose that. At the age of like 15 to 18, I was very insular, very shy, very anxious. If I dropped a glass, I'd cry. Just sort of, I've done something wrong, so a bit like that. You had a stutter? I had to go to speech therapy as a kid. I would just talk with no gaps.

1:06And like that. Like sort of physically. It all just like churned out so they helped me try and slow down and enunciate. Shag Merovoy, Josh Whittakam, Romesh Ranganathan, Tom Davis. Tom Davis is quite a big unit. Yeah, I think I'd shag him. I wouldn't let him shag me. We'd be a missionary. Any way I could get in. Just stepladder and passion. Okay, who are you marrying? Uh, what? I know. Hi, this is Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. Have you ever considered how the smallest details can create real emotion? Lexus does. At Lexus, master craftsmen called Takumi are involved not just in physical craftsmanship, but in sensory details.

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4:58Hey guys, welcome back to Great Company. We've got Rob Beckett on the show. I've been trying to get Rob on the show for about seven years, even though this show isn't seven years old but I've been trying to do a podcast with him for seven years. Rob, one of the biggest comedians in the UK, has his TV show Rob vs. Romesh. Before we start I want to ask a quick thing about you guys' incredible community. What do you want to see more of? Let us know, it could be guests, it could be content, it could be more of me, it could be anything at all. Let us know in the comments because we want to hear what you would like and also if you can click that subscribe button before we start that'd be amazing.

5:30Okay here we go, enjoy this wild episode of a great company with Rob Beckett. I'm just assessing we've got the stiff back chair. Yeah, yeah, nice. To make you uncomfortable. I can see, I know what you're up to. Wait, wait, but your one's professional. What are you talking about? No, it's not. We haven't got this kind of set up. This is basically Stephen Bartlett with a smile. Is that what you put on the top of the tagline? That's our tagline. I can imagine him around a big conference table, candy kittens everywhere. Right, guys, what's next? We've done the wedding one, we've done the kid one, But now I need one that's just me.

6:04Because I need more of me. Anyway, what are we talking about?

6:12That would be all right. Let's be good. Well, you have your new golf channel. And firstly, you do everything. What's that? As in you have a show with you and Romesh. You have your podcast. You do your stand-up. You do a radio show. Yeah, to be fair, I have… You're about to do Traitors. You also just start a new golf channel. Yeah. Yeah, to be fair, I'm truly frightened. You're doing a fucking thing. Stones and Glass House. Is that the same? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, no. Yeah, no, I'm pretty busy. Why did you start the Golf Channel? Golf Channel because I wanted to get better at golf. And I thought, if I do that, I'll be forced to do it because I've got a commitment to put an episode out.

6:51Then also, I thought, well, if I'm going to do it as a hobby, I might as well try and monetize it. Nice. It's quite hard to do that on YouTube. Are you monetizing at the moment? Yeah, but I'm definitely making a loss. Yeah. I need a sponsor. If anyone wants to sponsor it, does Candy Kittens want to sponsor it? Yeah, maybe. Basically, I don't even care if it earns that much money because I just want to play golf. But I can't be making a lot. I can't go from shows that are profitable to make it a terrible business move. That's not a good idea. No, like, okay, Rob, you've spent 15 years being a stand-up comedian.

7:20Do you want to do a tour? No, I want to lose a grand a month on playing golf. But how do you get people on? Because you have to go and play golf with you. Yeah, that's why so far my… That's a lot. Yeah, but so far, the people that have appeared on the show have been my dad and my brother. And Tom Davis. I know, Tom Davis. It's not like I've got, you know, Will Arnett down. So who's going to be, who'd be your top guest to get on? Who would you really love? If they said yes, who would you be like, that's great. Who would you love to play golf with? Stanley Tucci. You'd love that. No. You'd love that.

7:52Can I be honest? Yeah. I like Stanley, but he's a bit everywhere and he always looks like he's got the arm. Do you know what I mean? it's how Stanley comes in slightly with the ump Chowman he was like what do you mean he's slightly he always looks like he's slightly annoyed with everyone but Holly Willoughby wheeled him out in the first one before she spoke to the girl who has loads of sex that was that was that was that was punchy that was punchy the problem is you're doing it for the clicks this whole industry is clicks and views and people get I'm not doing it for the clicks well you know you're doing it because of trauma you can't rest so if you're not going to rest it's much better to do this than drinking drugs this is the thing this is why there was way more drug addicts and alcoholics back in the day in showbiz because they couldn't do their own podcast so they were waiting for the next they were waiting for the next job imagine you if you weren't in control of your own diary imagine you waiting but you're a little bit like me yes I'm very similar to you we get on well we get on really well and also Same energy, different backgrounds.

8:58You have that desperation as well to like, you need to work, you need to do something, you need to keep going, going, going the entire time and you can't stop. And I think you flip flat between wanting to stop but then also keep going. I was giving you a bit of grief because I say a lot myself and you, but I'm in a transitional point of trying to calm down with work. It's just so much. But I can't help it because I sort of get excited about something and then I agree to do it. Before you know it, I'm doing it. But I think I'm trying to make sure that I'm doing it for fun and enjoyment as opposed to must do this because if I don't do something, I'm worthless and it's all going to go wrong.

9:32You know, that sort of fear and worry. So I'm trying to do it through joy and fun as opposed to fear and worry. It's like one of those things that I keep trying to train my mind to do. The reason why I do this is because I genuinely love it. I love sitting and chatting to people. It's the best thing in the world. Like sitting with you today, this is like seven years in the making for me to sit with you on my podcast and like chat to you. Really? Yeah, well, not really. Wow. wow and this is it this is it how's it feel it feels it's a climax fine actually it's actually alright but to be fair because when I first saw you you used to do Made in Chelsea yeah obviously reality show you had to get that sort of version of you out the way out the way and we did bits and bobs together and you used to turn up on stuff but all anyone spoke to you about was money or Chelsea and then so you've done really well with the business of Candy Kittens you've proved you're a good businessman thanks very much and then you've also you're really good at this Am I sitting with my agent?

10:27You've got an agent? Yeah, you're sounding like, it's really good. You've actually, listen, the plan was to do this. We've done quite well with it. On paper, it shouldn't work. This boy from Absolute Privilege in Chelsea now has got his sweet factory in Marlebone. Fuck off. I should hate you. Do you know what I mean? I should really hate, actually, reading, saying more things out loud about you, I can't believe I'm here. In what's that, a gilet? A fleece gilet? I have a new stylist. You've got a new stylist? Yeah, they got me this. I promise. You're wearing a golf top. Yeah, I am actually, yeah.

11:03No, my point is this. I love doing this, right? But I try and separate doing stuff because I'm competitive and I want to be successful. And I want to be driven by the love and joy of stuff. Yes. Rather than looking at the numbers and what's doing well and if that's succeeded. I want to separate those two. So you're sort of powered by a little bit of panic and worry. 100%. Wanting to prove that it's going well and you're a success. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, which is fine. But do you have that? Totally. I have that as well. For me, though, when I started, I was bad at everything. I wasn't good at anything, right?

11:34At school, really bad. Dyslexic at school, didn't find out until I was older. So when I started in comedy, I realized, oh, you're not bad at this. And if you follow this track, because I used to look at who won all the new act competitions. You know, it's like Russell Howe and Kevin Bridges. I was like, oh, and then I was on a par with them at that age. I was like, if I do that, do that. And then I should do that. and then I thought right well if I just work really hard I can get there and then for about when does that I was 23 I'm 40 now so for the first 12 years I gigged 5-6 nights a week sometimes 2 or 3 times one because I felt it made me feel really good because I was good at something you're getting the validation yeah exactly so I always felt like I was rubbish at stuff all of a sudden I'm good at stuff so that was great because I felt unbelievable because especially at the beginning every gig you got better really and it was like a big like marketing it's like when you start running yeah when you first You're terrible at running, right?

12:23And you can do about a minute. But then after a couple of months, you can sort of run for half an hour. You feel unbelievable. But then it plateaus, isn't it? A little bit. Yeah, no, it's not much fun. So it was like that with comedy. And then I sort of did that. And then I come from no money. So then, oh, hang on, I can get security here that I've never had as a kid. So if I work really hard and do loads of tours, I can get some money in so I feel safe. Then married kids, wow, okay, I need more money to feel safe because there's other people. So you do that, you do that and that. And then you build up.

12:51But my problem was, once I sort of got the money, I still felt scared. But you were going to lose it? Maybe lose it, but maybe it wasn't enough. Or I just don't know, I just felt worried. And I didn't feel good. But then all my self-worth was wrapped up in how the gig went. So if the gig went well, I thought I was amazing. If it went bad, I thought I was crap. Even though there were so many gigs before that went really well, one gig would make you straight away go, well, that's it. Yeah, because it's sort of, you know, because everyone also, So, you know, that kind of thing which I've got into, they're like, just be in the moment.

13:22But like, if you're being booed off stage, right, I'm in that moment. They're all booing and shouting, you're shit. So in this moment, I feel quite shit. So for me, what helped was separating my self-worth from work and normal life. So that helped. And now what I'm trying to do now, I've taken a bit of time off. I've got not much on in the autumn. And I'm trying to float along and enjoy my life without it being so, got to do this, got to do that, I've got to do this. But that's difficult because, you know, I do my golf channel and I'm enjoying it, but it's sort of a little bit of a fun project.

13:56But part of me will still be like, hang on, I've put that out and I've only got 20 ,000 subscribers and Jamie's got loads. And Jamie just interviewed someone and all of a sudden that's 500 ,000 views and he's got all people doing it. So then I have to go, well, no, no, why are you doing it? If there was an extra zero on that view, would it make me feel much better? Obviously the money would go up, but I'm in a position now where that's not as crucial as it was. Yeah, so then what am I after? So what is it I'm chasing here? If I take time off, every morning I'll have a battle with that wolf at the door that says, everyone else is improving, everyone else is being better, everyone else is getting more views or selling more tickets.

14:32And I have to try and process that thought to sort of relax and enjoy the day. So that's where I'm at in the middle because what I used to do was just work, work, work, work, work. And in that way, the voice of coming of like, you're not enough, you're not doing enough. But yeah, I can because I'm doing this now. I'm going to play you something. Is it my own voice? No, you'll know the voice. Because what you're talking about is basically what this person is talking about. Hello, right. Oh, it's my wife. The best thing about Rob, the thing I love most about him is how selfless he is. He will always, always, always, always put the girls and me above himself and what he wants to do or what he wants or needs.

15:12He's got such a commitment to family. and our unit, he has absolutely got us. Go to pause it there. So that's from your wife? Yeah. Lou? So that's the best thing about you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which sounds obvious, but the amount you work, the amount that you do, fearful maybe of losing whatever it is, you do it all because of your family. True, but then that was a detriment at the start because I would over-prioritize that. I've got to do this, kids. I've got to do that. Provide them this shelter, this money or safety. but then that's the switching point is going well that sort of when's enough so that I can actually be there for them.

15:50There's a stage where any sort of extra money or security is great but you being there when they finish school is more important than that. So that's the transition I'm trying to do at the moment. Because then she goes on to say this because we're going to talk about this. The worst thing is... You'll be good at this bit. I mean it kind of goes hand in hand with the best thing actually. He will always put us first and he will, like I say, to his detriment sometimes he's turned down career opportunities before because it would have meant too much time away or you know all of the above at the same time as as that he will sometimes work has been a lot and he's been away quite a lot so then he'll go i'm not going to work for a year i'm going to take a whole year off i'm not going to at all i'm not going to do anything i'm going to be at home we've been repeating this pattern the last 10 years say since the girls have been born and i can see the exact moment that that it starts that kind of need for some sort of creative outlet and if we're being honest attention that just cannot be satisfied by three people in your kitchen and he's like hey guys look at this look at this look at me look at me and we're like girls stop it i'm like do we have to do this again just take some time off give yourself a little break and then when you feel ready or you want to make people laugh just go and do it this is not any sort of retiring from comedy this is not Rebecca leaves comedy anyway I'm rambling this is very long I'm actually losing my voice so yeah I hope you're well I hope this was alright she's amazing yeah I love her she's great but does that resonate with you?

17:30I could never just completely like retire like Lee Evansteed and do nothing I don't think I could ever just pull the drawbridge up because I do I love doing the podcast with John love working Romesh and that kind of stuff and I will always love stand-up and want to do gigs I'm just taking a step back a bit if you look at my diary now there's barely anything in it really like there was last year because I was away for 180 nights that year when I was talking about that which is insane because obviously I do all the stuff in the day in the podcast but then touring in the evening so I'm like a a ball of energy I have to let it out I have to go and do a gig if I did nothing all week I'd be mad but what I need to do is a couple of gigs a week in London not put on a massive tour You know what I mean?

18:08What happens when you reach your limit? Well, I've definitely had that sort of burnout and exhaustion before. I had therapy at the start of lockdown in 2020. Did you? Which really helped. Because I just, I was just so like that. I was just, I was doing all those things we've been talking about, but with no understanding why. I was just getting so ratty when anyone comes to me in public and I had no time for anyone. I just was miserable, basically. And I was working with Romesh. It was an amazing gig. We went over to South Africa to film a show about the cricket and then went on a safari. I flew business class, but it was a problem in my seat, so they put me in first class, staying at a five-star hotel, went to the first day of filming, which was watch the cricket, England versus South Africa.

18:47And then someone gave me a pint. I went on the big screen, downed it. And then basically the whole stadium went mental, went viral. Producers come up to me, brilliant, we've got the opening of the show, right? And I've never felt sadder. And I was like, this should be the perfect, nothing here. This is perfect. This is what you're working on. But it was just because I just said, I was so exhausted because it was all just done from worry and panic. It wasn't, I've done that brilliant. It's all like, oh God, what next, what next? And it was just too long of going 100 miles an hour. So lockdown was quite helpful for me because it enforced my biggest fear, which is what if it all stops?

19:19And it did stop. I had a big tour for the whole year booked in. All the gigs got pulled, nothing in my diary, no money coming in. And at that point, I had, I'd earned well, but I hadn't earned well enough to not work, if you know what I mean. And I had a mortgage and a new house and kids who were young. and to start doing therapy. And that's where I sort of understood a lot more about myself. And it's helped me sort of manage sort of a way forward. Because it was, you know, imposter syndrome, poverty mindset, where you grow up with no money. You think the tap's going to be turned off. But as you know, there's loads of it everywhere if you keep your eyes open.

19:53And all these different things. But then, you know, and I wrote a book about it called A Class Act, where I spoke about that. And I know it'll give you a lot of grief, but I had those things going on. But in my world, in a working class upbringing, in, like sending your kids to boarding school is child cruelty, essentially. That would be spoken about that. Like dropping your kid off at six or seven to boarding school is the worst possible thing you could do with your child. Whereas the world you came from, it was the best opportunity for your child, toughen you up, give you all these things. So it's a really complicated thing.

20:21And I had a real chip on my shoulder against sort of people from privilege and especially in comedy, because there's a lot of that Oxbridge stuff. But then as I met them all and actually met the person, I realised me and you were not in control over what hand we were dealt. We were only in control over how we deal with it going forward. And it made me understand that these people have got their own problems where I'll be worried about no money, but then you've been dropped off at a boarding school and left to your own devices. And then you get trauma from that, right? Exactly. And then everyone ultimately has got their own little things that happen to them, big or small, that they are trying to work through through life, which helped me be a bit more patient with people because when people argue with me now, I sort of just breathe and go, right.

21:02And I enjoy trying to work out what their problem is rather than me just slagging them off. Do you know what's interesting? The beginning of lockdown for me, mate, was something happened to me where I also, maybe it's because I was like driving forward, forward, forward, but mine was different. Mine was... What stage were you at then? Because you've really blown up in the last five years or so, I'd say, media-wise. Your sweet business was always going great guns. It was always doing well. There was a point, where like, you know, I'd see you on 8 out of 10 cats and stuff like that, but I could feel you were frustrated because you were getting gigs, but they were gigs of being the Made in Chelsea bloke.

21:37A hundred percent. And no one took you serious as a presenter, which is all you wanted to be, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember I did a, it was maybe like, I don't know what it was. It was something, and it was, Jimmy Carr was hosting it, and I remember coming to the show and Jimmy Carr saying, oh, you're still here. Like that. Because it was almost like he was surprised that he was like, oh, it was actually a flattering way. It was actually flattering because he was like, oh, you're still turning up. Well, really, it's a conveyor belt of on those shows, who's the current reality star that we can bring on to…

22:04Have fun with, take the piss out of, and then it gets us views. Have fun with is a loose term, isn't it? Especially back in the day. But I… So I was in a frustrated place. Jamie Lang this week, Jed would next week. Yeah, yeah. And then Gemma Collins. But I was in a space where I had just been to the channel for upfronts. And because when you're in your algorithm, you only experience what you're experiencing. so in my world I was quite top dog because I was doing Made in Chelsea and I was quite top dog in it when you step into the world that you want to become top dog in you realise you're at the bottom of the pile and so I suddenly realised I was at the bottom of the pile not only that I wasn't even you weren't at the bottom of the pile as a presenter you were just I wasn't even respected so that was challenging for me and so going into lockdown when everything stopped it was suddenly like this realisation that I had done Made in Chelsea for a long time I wasn't I had just stopped doing that I just became maybe slowed down maybe driving towards something super anxious and also I became depressed and then I didn't want to admit to myself that I became depressed because I was meant to be this happy-go-lucky like guy and so then for so long I just couldn't admit it and that's when I started going into therapy as well to make it and therapy for me changed my life well yeah so the first time I went was when I first did I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here as a presenter that was years ago the spin-off show yeah yeah so it was with me Laura Whitmore and Joe Swash I took over from Russell Kane who was really popular on it and then it was when Twitter first started and I was getting absolutely hammered on that.

23:28So that sent me mad. So I did therapy for the NHS that time and then I went back in in 2020 and it like totally, and that was, I paid for that privately and I was very fortunate to be able to do that but it massively helped me sort of build a sort of way to deal with it all, you know? When you started comedy, right? Apparently you were, you didn't tell your parents or anyone because you were embarrassed you were doing it. Is that true? Yeah, yeah, because it was, I love my family growing up but it was quite a harsh I've got four brothers South East London working class kind of banter and my dad's older as well so my dad's 82 now so he was like in his mid 40s when he had kids so he was quite an old dad for when I was young so obviously then it's another generation of you know that kind of that level of sort of quite harsh banter so I was like I don't want anyone to know because I'll just get banter for him also as well there was a big thing at the time where you did comedy that do things like competitions where whoever got the loudest cheer won the night and a lot of people took their mates and I didn't want anyone to know because I wanted to know if I was good or not because I thought if I can win that without having a group of people then I know I'm good at it competitive one competitive but also I'm very I've always I'm very quite direct and quite like direct feedback where I don't want my I don't want you to that was great I don't want to fake it I can either do it or I can't if I can do it I'll go full steam ahead but yeah when I was first started I was ruthlessly competitive and ambitious to the point where I would look at that league almost like on Wikipedia what was Russell Howard doing at that age or what was Peter Kay trying to either match or supersede but that was just an egoic way to keep the relentlessness going to create a false narrative of something I want to achieve but actually ultimately I used to do that I used to look at other people's careers I used to but I did I remember looking at like James Corden's career and seeing what he was doing doing in like his 20s yeah to see where he was at as well because it's a competitive thing but the thing is in order to you need to you need that kind of energy whether it's positive or negative to get through that point because it is hard and if you want to be good at comedy you do have to do what I did and gig every single night for 10 years to learn the craft and learn the skill um but you but that that that energy can't last forever because it will burn you out when I started off I needed the I was like a rocket trying to go through you know you know when your rocket takes off it has those burners that go mad don't it yeah and then once it gets through the atmosphere they fall off and you orbit and float yeah I'm trying to get rid of those burners but you need them at the start so I never look back on anything I've done where I go oh you wasted so much time doing all those gigs or working that hard and you know and saying yes to everything because it was necessary to get to the point I'm at now where I'm a very privileged position where I can take my foot off the gas a little bit but it just needs to be balanced out slightly where you can't continue with that.

26:20And you can't use that negative energy of like, I used to be like, I've got to beat them. I've got to do that. It's helpful, but not forever. Can you remember your first ever gig? Yes. Where was it? Up the creek in Greenwich. Nervous? Yeah, so I met my mate for a beer because I was like, I've agreed to do this, but I don't know what I'm doing. So I wrote out. It's the only time I've ever written out a set. It was dreadful, but I typed it out. And I had two pints and went up and did it. And all I can remember is the lights being too bright. But it went fine. it was you know it wasn't awful it takes it takes a different individual to get up on stage just with their mate having had a couple of pints and go and do comedy I was obsessed with comedy and I used to I used to record it off a VHS TV combi onto a mini disc player as his age in me and then listen to it yeah to go to bed so I listened to comedy to go to bed so who were you listening to oh so my parents loved comedy so I had all their Dave Allen and Jimmy Tarbuck and Les Dawson Eddie Azard and then my brother was a bit older so we had all the Eddie Izzard stuff and then Billy Connolly and then I really got into Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor and then it was just all the comedy I could get.

27:26Alan Davis and then Peter Kay come out when I was about 12. So I was obsessed with it and then I went to comedy clubs loads and loads. But it just got to the point where I was watching the gigs and I could work out the punchline from the person and I was like, I can do that. But you were funny. You're naturally funny. You get comedians who would be in a situation and then afterwards go, oh, I should have said that. And that's why they're good at writing, right? So they're great on stage and saying that stuff on stage. But then you get just funny people. You are just funny. Well, look, I totally agree with, not just with me, but in general, there's those types of people like Alan Carr, Tom Allen.

27:58Just funny. Just funny. Just really funny. Romesh is the same. But then, there's two types of comedians. Funny ones and not funny ones. Yeah, that's it. Who's not funny? What's that? Who's not funny? The ones that spend ages writing it all down. Shouldn't be that hard. Being a comedian, you don't have to be funny to be a comedian. No. You can work out what is funny you can work out a persona you can work out how to put the words together you can work out and you can put that out there and you can be a comedian but some people are just funny and the same way some people are sexy some people walk in a room and you're like oh my god like male or female you just go fucking hell it's like it's unbelievable it's those people those guys who whisper to people in clubs what are they whispering and then suddenly they're putting their what are you whispering there's nothing we can do about that we just have to be us if I whisper hey how are you you look like an extra from Oliver I've got a machine I want to buy a watch but so like and it's the same with being athletic like obviously you can train and do that but I met Dina Asher Smith on Jonathan Ross she walked past it was like fucking like a cheater she every muscle would twitch like she was just like and the way she sat met Usain Bolt and it was like meeting a superhero like they're just different and it's the same with funny some people you can learn to put stuff together it's also some people can try and be sexy with what they wear and they look but you can either have it or you don't and then you hone it in clubs to get better at it.

29:18Yeah, but then the difference is that I think like naivety is our biggest weapon, right? So when you're so tuned into stuff, because you were listening to comedy and you knew about comedy and you knew people and Billy Connick, all these people, how do you find your voice? How do you make sure you're not, because you must have started by copying people because you thought, oh, he's funny or she's funny or what they did is funny. So I'm going to use that. So finding your voice is hard, right? Oh yeah. So they always say you need to find what your comic voice is, but essentially your comic voice is you, but without any worry or preconceptions about what you should or shouldn't be doing.

29:47Explain that because... Well, when you get up on stage, you're worried. You've got an ego. You don't want to look vulnerable. But you can't be a really funny comedian and worry about what people think about you. But it takes a long time to lose that. Because we all do it. And I still do to a degree. But I'm at a stage of not giving a shit now, which is alarming. For some of my... I feel like I should be 85 in an old people zone. The amount I just cannot care. Honestly, an absolute... But not just with randoms. like my own family now because when it was the World Cup I got a ticket to the World Cup final right if England got through I put on my Instagram stories I fly tomorrow morning if we win right I was also supposed to be going to my mum's birthday meal that afternoon right on the Sunday I was also seeing her next Thursday by the way and this meal was with like 20, 30 people and families it weren't just like right anyway we didn't get through get to the meal mum goes was you really going to go to the World Cup final on my birthday meal I went yeah yeah but it's my meal I went, I've seen you Thursday.

30:47But 10 years ago, I'd have been like, oh my God, I'm such a bad son. No, I'm not. I'm a normal human. Yeah, I know. This is insane. You've had loads of birthdays. You're 72. It's the fucking World Cup final. Let me have an afternoon off. Anyway, we had a lovely time at the cafe at the wakeboarding centre. The wakeboarding? Yeah, that's where we went for a birthday meal. You went wakeboarding? No, no, no. We just sat in the cafe, watched the Ned Sheeran tribute act while they wakeboarding around us. My parents have met. I invited them the other day. Who picked that? Your mum? My mum and dad, they're mad.

31:18So they always go. A wakeboard centre. They love going to Spain, right? So they always go to Spain for like six, seven weeks. Nice. Whereabouts? Give me a new location. Near Mercia. Right? Yeah, of course you have. It doesn't matter. My parents are not going on the same holidays as you. You'll never have heard of anywhere they've gone. All right? So I said, well, you want to see the girls? You want to see the girls and all this? I was like, all right, okay. Well, on Friday, the girls are doing like a summer camp where at the end of it, after four days, they do a big show. 4.30, come up and watch.

31:47Now we can't... For me, if I was a grandparent, that's like the ultimate little thing. You just turn up, you see them do a show, bit of Pizza Express after, you're done. Lovely. Now we can't. Well, what are you doing? We're going around Karen and Paul's house for dinner then going to watch an Elvis impersonator at the casino in Margate. These kids are going to be eight and ten once on this trip. It's like a once. They're going to get to 15 and not give a fuck about you.

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34:17You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. And you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. When did you meet Lou? Met Lou when I was 22, I think. Yeah, 22 in an office in London doing an admin at an events company. And what, you straight away fancy that? What's going on here?

35:04Just tell me! Tell me It's sweet You're talking about your wife It's lovely Well you know Look at you closing up Yeah Closing up What's going on here What do you want to know about it I want to know like No so we were friends In an office job And then basically She was leaving to go And study to be a teacher And I left the job To go and be a comedian And then we sort of Started going out Did you Yeah And then when did you propose Can you remember the date Couple of Nah Couple of years after I don't know I love it it's a busy period no I remember when I did propose I proposed to her in the Dorchester in afternoon tea hello in the promenade bit nice and then I booked a room that's quite busy what's that it's quite a busy place to propose fairly but I mean central London just in a room room cupboard how quiet do you want it I cut that on one knee and she went yeah and get up but I packed a bag for her but she still to this day takes the piss out of what I packed in that bag but I thought it was fine because it was a surprise that we were staying over when you proposed when you proposed it's like the most nerve-wracking thing in the world like I yeah I felt I got there way too early felt well sweaty and was well stressed and uh yeah well yeah it is I mean it'd be weird if it wasn't if you didn't care you gotta worry like two things for me that no one prepared me for that were like nerve-wracking one was proposing the other one was when you have your first kid that moment you weren't prepared for that you didn't think that would be a big thing I knew it would be a big thing.

36:35Just our product launch, was it? They released mini watermelon sours. I've dealt with a big event before. I went on GMB. Then we did a live launch at Selfridges. I know pressure. Like that for me was, I didn't realize it was going to be that intense. What they'd be arriving. It is. It's insane. It's insane. Yeah. Like I couldn't believe what was going on. So I was 29 when we had our first kid. and I was like proper like, if you think I work a lot now, back then it was seven days a week, non-stop. So the normal way of working would be like, I'm doing this this morning and I've got interviews all afternoon because I'm promoting a new TV show I'm doing in the process of calming down my workload.

37:19Yeah, yeah. Where I went to Malaysia to film for two weeks for Tempting Fortune, but we'll get into that in a minute. But that's part of me winding down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just pop to Malaysia. I'm winding down just taking on another TV show. I know. But I would normally, like this afternoon, and I'm finished at three, back then I'd be like, right, then book another podcast in the afternoon, then gig in the evening and get, you know, it was like that, nonstop. So I was 29, so we had the baby and then I was back working, stay working, I was doing Taskmaster when the baby was like five days old, rolling around in goose, have you seen that clip of me rolling around in goose poo to a microwave?

37:48That was, the baby was five days old. Yeah, we had a great argument at Christmas because I'd basically come home from work and then be in charge of the baby and we were both saying, oh, it's so intense, we've got like this three month old and there's no time alone, you know, We don't have our own time, you know. And Lee was like, well, you get your own time. I was like, what do you mean? She went, well, you go to Chiswick every day and they give you a car. I was like, yeah. She went, so that's like an hour and a half there, an hour and a half back. So you get free time. I went, it's not free time.

38:13I know I'm alone, but I don't think that should be, you know, filed under social and hobbies. Yeah, but it is quite nice. Well, I mean, it was nice, but it's like, what a mad set of situation is where that is deemed as, well, he's been, you know, he's been in that cab all week. Sophie says the same to me. she's like when I go to work she's like you go to work in the morning but this is easier than having a baby at home so much easier but I don't want to worry you the baby don't move yet don't it comes hard so it's like you know imagine if you've got a sort of like you know this is like a bomb right you've got to try it's a good analogy I like this I've got a bomb you've got a bomb that you need to diffuse so you're concentrating where am I what situation am I in in your house okay and that's the baby right?

38:59And it's just there and you've got all the stuff running. Now, put that bomb on a drone. Let me use another example. It's got quite dark in the current political climate. Put that bomb on a drone. Okay, let's start again. Put that bomb on a dog. Nice. Is that bad? What breed? Just so I get it. Okay, I'll go. Go again. Like a rich back. But put that bomb on a remote-controlled car. Nice. Again. That someone you can't see is in charge of. And they'll defuse it. That's what's it like having a toddler. I think you got it wrong at bomb. Put a baby on a remote-controlled car. But it's like, when they start moving, it's horrendous.

39:51Because you've got to stop them from hurting themselves. You know. My brother's at that stage. He's six foot four. The man's back is an absolute. You'll be all right. but his back where he's crouching down is an absolute bit was it hard to go what is the jump going from one to two I think one's more intense first of all because it's totally new and then the second one we had two under two which was quite hardcore the actual baby stuff was easier with the second one because you're used to it but it's just two to deal with so if one wakes up and then goes back to sleep the other one wakes up it's like you're saying to me that your baby was up till three last night but then the other one can just wake up at four and then you're up all night now mine are eight and ten and like because they're so close in age, it's brilliant.

40:31They really get on, they play and it's so much. Now I'm just going out with a little mate. But I was scared to have kids, right? I was like terrified for loads of reasons. But then I'm so happy. What reasons? Oh man. Well, prone to anxiety. So I thought it would make me anxious for whatever reason because I was in control of my own destiny because then I had something to look after. So I'd feel trapped. I went to boarding school. I think that made me feel trapped. So whenever I feel trapped, I'm a bit like, oh God, let me out. that didn't know if I could achieve what I wanted to achieve because it would hold me back.

41:00All the things that… What do you want to achieve? Well, I have two goals in life. Go on. You want to hear them? Yeah. I want to buy back my vetties. I'm going to tell you now how hollow that will feel. No, no. This is… This is… Sorry, this is… You will not give a shit. Yeah. Oh, my granddaddy made the fucking biscuit leave off, mate. Right, listen. These are professional dreams. These are professional dreams. Okay. You can see me out. How much is McVitie's? It's a lot. How much? Probably 300 million. 253 million. Is there an argument that if you are showing your hand this early, they're going to just increase the price because they know that there's a personal…

41:39Yeah, but whatever. They're not even going to see this. I'm just trying to help you do it. Okay. Second one. If I were you, I'd start slagging them off. Drive the price down. Second one. Yeah. Hosting the Oscars. Those are my two professional things that I want to do, right? so before when I was having a kid I thought all of that would stop straight away but having a kid is for me has been the greatest like door opening to life ever it's made me realise what life is really about it's made me kinder do you have a cliche Bill here what's it done to you I still want to talk about you actually no come on and these dreams come on tell me what's it done to me what is it actually come on truthfully what is it done to you I think so the biggest thing that I think all those things are true yeah that you've said.

42:24But I think everyone half expects that because, you know, you expect to be a bit kinder because you have to think about other people other than yourself. They're all quite, you know, common things that happen. For me, I didn't expect, it was a bit of a surprise at how much it holds a mirror up to your own childhood. Ooh, here we go. So I found that, like, I would, it made me evaluate my childhood more by having children because when my kids were having any sort of issue, not even issues, but stuff was going on. like holidays or problems at school or this or that, I'd go, well, hang on. You automatically go, well, what happened?

42:59What was going on for me at that age? Yeah. And also like, because I get to 10 and go, can I have YouTube or can I walk to the shop? I'm like, hang on. So what did I do at that age? And then it's really interesting because when you marry up, and it's not always negative. It's not always positive, but you do self, and it gives you a chance for self-reflection because ultimately what happens as you as a kid, you know, formulates into what you become as an adult. Yeah, totally. You know, so that for me was the biggest sort of surprise. Oh, wow. And it sort of made me sort of reflect on myself a lot more.

43:27So what did it make you realize about your own childhood? I'm quite hyper-vigilant. Yeah. Quite hyper-vigilant, aware, looking around for light. And one, just because that's my nature. Two, also, I'm sort of looking around for threats kind of thing. Where I had a lovely childhood, but there wasn't loads of money. There was definitely people much more worse off than us. Yeah. But there was definitely people that had it much more comfortable and there wasn't a worry about money at the end of the month and stuff like that. But then it wasn't just money. There was other stuff that went on. I don't want to go into, but there's a lot of grief and stuff like that.

43:57It's a hard thing. So if stuff happens to you like that as a kid, where it's a bit not as smooth sailing, you are looking out for threats all the time. And then also I had dyslexia at school, but didn't get diagnosed about two years ago. So I didn't know I had it. Did you know you had it at school? No. I was told like you I was stupid. I didn't. I've never said I was told I was stupid. You'll just assume that. No, I'm joking. But yeah, I was told I was stupid and I thought I was stupid but I wasn't. I've just got a different way of working. So again, that makes you hyper aware because I'm like, all right, I can't connect with this teacher here so I need to take in everything else to try and work out how to get through this lesson and also how to work with other people and sort of pick up on stuff.

44:39But did you, what I did is that when I remember my English teacher said to me, I said, why can't I spell? And he said, I think I've got dyslexia with this thing. he said no you're just stupid that's what he said to me so and it was kind of a jokey thing but it stuck with me right and but I I had the same my first primary school teachers parents evening thing I remember them saying to my mum and also my mum fed it back to me or to people but in a way of dismissing it and they said this about him that's not true and she moved my school so she practically protected me from that but hearing it out loud still made me feel like an important person thought that way said oh Rob's never going to be a high flyer that would be in my head.

45:18It's funny because when I was told that, I remember in the lesson, like at the beginning, you're just like, you ignore it. But slowly by slowly, when you're not getting the grades, you know, you slowly by slowly start to believe it. So I generally thought by the end that I just wasn't smart. I wasn't good. Then when I came out of school, it was like, same as you trying to figure out what I was good at because I thought I was bad at everything. That's why I did Made in Chelsea because I was like, oh, this is going to be a route that I think I would be okay at. I don't really, I'm not going to be good at it.

45:42Also, it gave you an identity that wasn't the sort of loud, energetic, dyslexic kid at school. You were just a posh boy on the TV that's really good company. And then you can go down that route. But yeah, I found it very challenging because I was told I was no good at anything. And I tried my best at all the exams and just got deeply averaged like Cs and Ds. But I was grafting on that. You were working hard? Really hard to try and keep up and try and get grades and stuff like that. Were you popular? I was very good. That's what a teacher said at school. but I was very good at being friends with everyone, but never too far in.

46:18So like, I'd be pally with the naughty kids and can chat to them, but I'd never end up being naughty with them. And then also I was chatting with the nerdy kids or I could chat to everyone quite comfortably, but never be too far in one group and sort of float around. But then from the ages of like 15 to 18, I was very insular, very shy. Like I was very anxious. Like if I dropped a glass, I'd like cry. Really? Just sort of, I've done something wrong. So a bit like that. Because you're hyper aware of like, you're being hyper alert. Yeah, I remember stuff as well. Like, I'd feel bad. I'd always drink water because I felt if I ordered like a Coke at a restaurant, that would be expensive.

46:53And then my dad would have to work more. Because I knew my dad was a cab driver. So he had to work. He'd get X amount an hour. And he used to come home with cash. He would count the cash. And I remember looking at it going, oh, hang on. So if that Coke's three quid or two quid, and my dad come home with like, he'll have to work an extra hour or so to do that. so I felt a real response and that pressure wasn't put on me by my parents but I just felt that you know what I mean I was sort of aware of that kind of stuff so that stressed me out I think a little bit so I wasn't very confident also South East London is very geysery very like it was the garage scene as well at the time which I went really into so I was quite sheltered for like three or four years and then when I went to university in Canterbury that's when I went out a bit more and started socialising and drinking and that I really got my confidence up there than I did in South East London because because you were you found your people, right?

47:43Found my people also. I was just a bit scared of going out. There was always fights. And, you know, I remember my car got nicked when I was 17. And so it's like, there was a lot of worry of like nights out and drinking and fighting and being a bit rough and ready. And I just stayed in. But also it was fun staying at night. My family were all funny. My brothers, mum and dad. We had like a nice unit. Because I remember mates would go down the park and try and stay in the park overnight all night. When they were like 15, I was like, no, I don't want to do that. What is like a challenge? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

48:11So if they were going to get like… But then I suppose if their parents were out a lot and that, but my parents were always in and we watched TV and had a laugh. So it was quite a warm place to be. I think as well, I'm quite good at reading the energies of people, which I think is something that I've naturally got and I've sort of honed that in comedy clubs where I can walk into a room of people and I can… I can't explain, but I'll be aware of what that kind of vibe is in that room. Try and explain that to me. If I meet a group of people, I'll be able to hone in pretty soon what the dynamic is between the group, what would need to be said for me to slip in fine and just be part of it, but also how I can manipulate that in either to tell stories and be funny.

48:50And then I've honed that on a wider scale. So if I do a comedy club, I can walk out. That's why I don't really have a set routine of jokes. I've got an arsenal of ideas and jokes that then I'll position and put in the right places dependent on what that room needs. But I can go out in the first few lines from hearing the reactions and asking a few questions and a few things, I'll be able to work out what's going to work for that room and then I'll adapt my material to it. But that is exhausted if you carry that on into your personal life because then every dinner I can be sat there and I can work.

49:22I'll be able to pick up on a couple that have had an argument. Get out of here. Earlier on and stuff like that, slightly. But I've always been able to do that. I thought most people could do that. But after a while, it gets a bit wearing because then what I'll do is know that, oh God, I'll try and subconsciously sometimes repair that or try and bring the mood up. Because you're feeling the energy, so you're like an empath in a way, so you understand people's emotions. And then if it has an impact on me, so I will try and then resolve that and change the energy, but then that's quite tiring. I've never heard empath before.

49:50Is that a thing? It is a thing. Is that a buzzword? Oh, that's going to be all over this. I can see it now. Rob Beckett talked on empath. I've just found out what an empath is. And that's going to be written all over it, isn't it? Me like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rob Beckett unleashes on being an empath. But that, because before you said to me, you're a bit stressed. Because I am stressed at the moment. But you could read that straight away on me. Which is quite unique. I'm pretty good at reading people. But that's going the step deeper to actually knowing I am stressed. And you're not saying it because you know I have a kid, maybe.

50:21Or that I've got a lot going on. No, I know how busy you are. I know we're very similar as well, which helps, makes it a bit easier. But I just think I've been through that, of having two kids. And like you say, it is a bit of a cliche. and I said it earlier, but like my kids and Lou are so much more fun, important, impactful, and nothing I do, and I love doing stand-up, but nothing compares to that feeling. So, for example, one of my daughters was really scared of sleepovers and I really was helping her try and Lou was as well, like coaching her through going on the first ever school sleepover thing.

50:52She was petrified of it and was working through it. I spoke about it on my podcast and then she came out and she did it because we reframed it as a challenge. she was scared I went do you want to do it or not because if you don't want to do it don't do it if you do want to do it then you're going to have to just sort of bite down and get on with it because if you want to do it it's a challenge well anyways we had a chat about it she did do it she came out and like hugged me and was like I did it I did it and that feeling for me it was like another doorway open to like yeah it's great you go out you do a few jokes you get around and applause and laugh but you know ultimately I love doing stand up I'm providing a service I'm a Chinese takeaway and a pint do you know what I mean it's 30 quid if they don't like it don't come again if they do like it come back most of them won't even fucking register it it'll just be something that happened that night with a lot of I'm a form of entertainment I'm a distraction from the fact that we're all gonna die and everyone we've ever known is gonna die but let's not worry about that let's go watch the geezer with a big teeth for an hour you know what I mean your good mates Romesh, Tom Davis Josh Willicom like what I love I think about comedy as well is I see it the whole time is that you find your gang and it's one of the only industries that it feels like people really look out for each other even though you're competitive.

52:02You're all selling tickets but you're their future. I'd say that's more of a unique thing to our generation of comedians. Really? So we came through quite a nice time where basically we came through when there was loads of panel shows. So the generation before us, the sort of Frankie Boyle, Mock the Week generation were a bit more... There was a reputation on those panel shows being really harsh, everyone talking over each other but that's because in their defence there was only a couple of shows, Have I Got News For You, Mock the Week, Live at the Apollo and then if you got on there you blew up so everyone was desperate to get there and desperate to stay there when we came through like me, James Acaster Joe Lycett, Romesh Catherine Ryan that kind of group there was loads of stuff where we could like practice and go on all the different panel shows and come up together and we've been a really supportive group it's just it's really great to see if you talk to like a Joel Domit or Catherine Ryan they're so always so nice like complimentary of course they would be but like you're all selling tickets so it should be competitive but it's just not yeah but then the way I look at it is like we're all doing the same thing and if one of us does well we all do well kind of thing you know what I mean because if people love comedy and see really good comedy they want to watch more really good comedy my favourite thing is laughing and being funny and being with funny people because I think if you're with someone really funny you add a bit they add a bit but when me and Romesh go and do our filming and stuff it's probably funnier off camera than just us floating about and it's like I want to be around more people like that.

53:28I don't want to do the Rob Beckett show, which is just me talking to other people. I like collaborating. I like doing the thing with Josh. I love that. I've worked with Tom Allen quite a lot. I've done golf stuff with Tom Davis, doing Romesh. I love being with other people and collaborating. Because then I'm like, why have access to the funniest people in the world but not be with them to work? Out of all your friends, if you had to pick the funniest, who would you say is like, you're just like, they're the funniest? I mean, they're all at a top, top level, but it's just in certain moments everyone like there's a you know Tom Davis there's a clip of Tom Davis playing golf where he keeps missing it and he goes mental that kills me Tom Allen is one of the funniest people that's ever lived on but when he's had a drink Tom Allen is so funny but once he's had a couple of wines because he's so lovely but once he's had a couple of wines and he's got the um and he goes on someone it's so funny because you're not used to it but Alan Carr just walks around he's like are you even real you're that funny Romesh like a cagey pick on something just absolutely Lloyd Griffith is hilarious Griffith is so funny.

54:25So they're all like little moments but I love it. I love being around them and hanging out with them. You've got your new Channel 4 show. Yes. Thank you. Tempting Fortune. Here we go. September 22nd. Let's go mate. Shot in Malaysia? Shot in Langkawi, Malaysia. Lovely. Very nice. Very nice. Nice little gig that was. Oh my God. Two weeks in Malaysia. So tell us what it's about. So it's basically like a venture reality show where you can win money. Okay. 12 people dropped on this island, Langkawi, Malaysia. 300 grand in the prize pot let's freaking go they split it 12 ways they've just got to do these treks through this forest and beaches and the water but along the way are temptations so like what?

55:05I'm going to tell you I can't wait imagine if I left it there and that's the show I'm not going to watch it oh that's a good idea yeah so it'll be like so they're in basic camp with just like rice and beans and rations it's a terrible camp and then all of a sudden they go past like a shop that sells camping equipment but to get a nice bed it's like 2 grand The money goes down. Yeah. What a clever format. Some people do it, some people don't. They all argue. Oh, I'm hungry. What's that? Greg's built in the jungle. Yeah. Sausage roll? Yeah. 250 quid. I'm making these prices up, but you get the gist.

55:34So they're really overpriced items. So we've got like a drive-thru KFC. But they're all done on stuff that they know that the contestants like. What would you be tempted for? To be fair, the food, you need the energy. But it'd probably be like a cold, sugary drink. Because you're so dehydrated and you're dying. where, look, I can't do a KFC above 28 degrees. No. Can you? You can't be eating fried chicken with the sun on your head. You don't. But they were starving, so they were doing it. So there was also, they built a shop, like a 99-pound store rather than 99p. And I was in there, and they were coming in there, but they're just so dirty and smelly.

56:10And they're all like, argons. And they all kick off slightly, and then they work out who's done what. So it's a really good show. They don't know what's coming up, and then some of them really do take the piss. You could do a candy kitten store in the next series. I might do that. That would be great. you could come out and do it I would love that that would be good wouldn't it we'd get Jamie Lange I would love that yeah let's do that squeeze that into your diary please do because I do get a bit bored out there you're kidding me I'd love that I would love that that would be good we'd do a graze stand yeah anyone want it no they'd love it they would love it yeah we would yeah well that is the danger imagine you're up there with all your sweets no I'm alright I'm alright just unloading your suitcase fuck oh fuck it what's that about but it's a really good show it's on channel 4 22nd of September and I'm the host so I just sort of go in and wind them up looking all fresh faced and clean this is I'll let this one off because you're nice okay no self improvement high performance or Stephen Bartlett optimising podcast eat shit I don't want to be optimised I want to do as little as possible for as much money as possible and go on holiday that's all I want to do is that too much that's my goal so you'd never get up at 5am and have an ice bath no no you wouldn't get up at 5am and have an ice bath you don't eat a whoop in the morning eat a whoop in the morning chug a heel get back on the desk just got to review some thumbnails ironically that'll be the thumbnail isn't it well that's the thing we do our podcast I can't be bothered with all the fucking but do you think that's the success of your podcast the fact that that actually you don't care.

57:52Well, I do care. You do care. I care about the audience. I care about having fun. I care about what we talk about. But I can't be bothered to get into an arms race of cameras, zoomed in shots, crying. You know what I mean? I just, I find it exhausting and I just think it's too much. And also your podcast is still one of the top ones. It does all right. It does really well. It does all right. 250 million downloads. I think it's more than that now. Fuck. Someone's counting. I know. Whoa Someone's counting We had to do it for the Press release Okay Rich is it Rich By the end of the year 500 million Get the Yeah To be serious That podcast I love it Me and Josh I actually look One of the only things I would properly look forward to Of catching up with Josh And the audience Are so good It's a proper little Community And they do these Small business shout outs That we do at the end And then They do really well And stuff like that But it's been so nice Because it You see, one of the only things I've done that purely came out of truth organically, where sometimes you go, that would be a good idea for a show.

58:56We just were doing it because we needed to talk to someone about having kids that were young during lockdown. But also, you must have been during that time where you're having a bit of a tricky moment as well where it came out. Yeah, so I enjoyed it because it gave me a way to sort of not do therapy, but be honest with an audience where before I was giving everyone the Rob Beckett of like on TV and people used to think I was a bit dim and a bit South East London because I was on Mock the Week not knowing all the politicians were. but it enabled me to show look maybe I'm not academically smart but I do have opinions and I care about my family and kids I'm not just like oi oi you know that kind of thing so I love it and the way we can talk to each other really honestly and because we're so different I feel like other people that listen can connect with it but I love it and I just love the audience are incredible what's the best thing about working with Josh?

59:35one is he's genuinely a really kind and caring person and so funny and really collaboratively funny so he's not desperately trying to outdo each other. We sort of collaborate and, you know, he has a go at me. Sometimes I'll have a go at him, but we're proper friends and it's not, there's no edge to it. And he's also really hardworking and commits to it. And we've both really put the effort in because with anything like this, it's consistency. We've done two episodes a week now for six years, nonstop pumping that out. And I think you have to, and then because the audience rely on it and like they get the ump if he's not there.

1:00:12But yeah, he's just, he's just, it's just easy. it's a bit like a working relationship it's a bit like an actual relationship with a partner it just needs to be easy when you're young you feel like it needs to be crazy and volatile and this and that and dramatic no it's just ag it just needs to be easy and everyone's relaxed and comfortable and can do it and like that I love doing it with them it's great you know what people may not understand that it's when you comedians who are generous with their laughter when I used to do panel shows used to go on used to know the comedians that would allow you to have space they would make you funny and then there are other comedians who just want to be funny themselves and you're a bit like you can't join in on the joke because they're just being funny but that's an insecurity from them because they're panicking right you know so they're just like oh I've got they feel like what they're doing is not enough so it's like and then it comes from a place of panic and like oh I'm not getting nothing not a but it presents as like listen to me I'm more important than you but yeah you get that a lot in the panel that doesn't just happen to like people that have come from you know reality shows it's like as comedians there's a lot of that going on who's the hardest person you have to interview George Foreman was an absolute legend but I'd say no do you know what Connor Benn was quite difficult 40 minutes in he asked if we had kids and I felt like what kind of perverts would have a parenting podcast without children

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1:02:53You just pay per session. Grow connects you with thousands of high-quality, licensed therapists across the U.S., offering both virtual and in-person sessions, nights and weekends. You can search by what matters, like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability, and you can book a therapy session in minutes and begin in as little as two days, not the national 48-day average. See if you could pay as little as$0 for therapy in seconds at growtherapy.com slash ACAST. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST. growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. I want to play a quick game with you before we stop.

1:03:38Yeah, no worries. Are you ready for this? It's called How Well Does Rob Beckett Know Rob Beckett? Yeah. You ready? I'll be honest with you. I'm not really across much of my own career. Okay. Where was your first stand-up show? Up the Creek in Greenwich. There you go. What was your first ever job? I've worked at a flower market in Columbia Road flower market. 14. Really? Do you have to call out to people? Yeah, so it was my brother had a stall up there Yeah, and then I was selling compost on a separate bit. Nice. How much are we earning? I think about 30 quid a day. Not bad. Well, you're getting picked up at 4am to go to a flower market to sell fucking horse shit.

1:04:16What was your first job? No, I did my first job. What was your first job? I worked in a bar and restaurant. A bar and restaurant? No, a bar and restaurant. A burger bar. Yeah, a burger thing. And I was front of house. Ah, okay. Nice. Maitre d 'e. Where was that store? On Kensington High Street Of course it was What is the full title of your memoir?

1:04:41Memoir

1:04:44A class act Yeah There's a longer bit There's a longer bit Something like working class Living in a middle class world or something Class act Life as a working class man In a middle class world There you go I've not read it Where do you have your secret? I have read it and I wrote it Fully actually Have you got a book out? Yeah Did you write it? Yeah Properly? Yeah yeah yeah Look at me in the eye I am I'm trying to see it behind you I can't see it It's not up there I did I wrote it I hate celebrities That don't write their own books Well I wrote it I wrote them The chapters And then someone Re-edited it To make it sound nicer Okay I'll let you off with that You can have an editor I had an editor You didn't just go for four coffees And then they put a book in?

1:05:29No no I was like writing it and then sending it and then coming back. Are you a big reader? You've read many of Anton de Bec's wartime dance books. Or Walked in the Blitz, I'll say like that. Walked in the Blitz. Where did you have your 16th birthday? Crave for Dog Track. Who came? The dog first. No, all my family. No, yeah, so have you ever been to the Greyhound Ration? I have, but Swindon. Swindon, yeah. Yeah, I've been there. I don't know why but it was yeah because you couldn't even bet or drink but it was quite good fun actually but yeah it was a bit of a mad place for Ever16 how many competitions did you win in 2009?

1:06:11oh I've won a Muse one called a Muse Moose one Red didn't do that to the year four three or four? yeah four four unbelievable what was the name of your second stand-up tour? I had one called Rob Beckett Live I bet everyone used to call it Rob Beckett Live it's Rob Beckett Live why would you name that why would you do that? for a bit of fun in PR just for this then everyone talks about it because if you've got a new tour out you throw it away but now all of a sudden we're in deep we're in deep yeah hence I wore a giraffe costume to the Brits sold out the tour in a week fuck off yeah because it was front page news all the Brits coverage sorry you're marketing genius that's marketing genius that's marketing genius yeah but basically no one cares about a 40 year old bloke going to the Brits but if you're in a draft suit they will look is it called Wallop?

1:06:59no Mouth of the South Mouth of the South Was it? What year did you marry Your wife Lou?

1:07:062017? No 16 No 14 15 Fuck Shit Do you know we both forgot Our wedding anniversary Last year 10 years I remember at 9pm Luckily we went Happy anniversary Lou Which celebrity did you film With in your first episode Of Robin Rommash? Usain No Anthony Joshua Usain Bolt You said it You went on Mock the Week in 2013 who are we on the team with Andy Parsons nope Hugh Dennis yes and Ed Byrne nope Chris Addison you performed a stand-up gig at Rommish's dad's pub what was the name of the pub I don't know but it was a shithole cages above the cistern also before we last before we last thing yeah before we last thing before the last thing right okay because Lou sent us a message yes can you say the best thing about Lou we've done that we always ask this on our show and it's hard when you put someone on the spot on it.

1:07:59Best thing about Lou is when she's like fully herself or like fully embracing herself without worrying of anything, which she does a lot now. Because like she's so fun, bit weird, bit odd, but commits 100%. So I love the way she commits 100 % to everything. So if she's being the mum at home, she's into that. She's writing her books. She's into that. If we're going to Disney, she's into that. We went to see Taylor Swift. She handmade outfits for the girls. and just put stones on all parts because she's just in. My daughter wanted a guitar and a glittery one, so if she hand put the gems on. So when she commits something, she is all in.

1:08:39I love that energy and that sort of relentlessness and that sort of like, and she's so much fun. The thing that we really connect over is we are a proper unit all going for the same thing together and we communicate well and agree on that. But yeah, when she's all in, it's great fun. Outfits for Disney, the lot. Rob, can I just say, man, we've had a joke you're man you're the best oh thanks man I've really enjoyed this mate I've loved every second we have eight quick fire questions you ready? oh yeah absolutely okay what's the saying or phrase that makes you smile that cheers you up? Rob they've cancelled the corporate but because it's last minute you're getting full pay thank you very much Rich

1:09:18no but any job like if you got phoned up by someone who said you don't have to go work today but you're getting the full pay great yeah That really makes me smile. Best compliment anyone's ever given you? Dan Nightingale gave me a comment. You know, a guy from Have a Word podcast. Brilliant comedian. I was very new. I'd just done 10 minutes at a gig. I was like, open spot. And he said to me, you're really good. You'll be a professional. This will be your job. And to hear someone that I respected say that, I was like, because that felt like a whole another dimension opened where, oh my God, I'm going to do this as my job.

1:09:51So that was the best compliment anyone's ever given me, I'd say. Because it meant most of the time, especially. I loved that. What scares you most about yourself? My energy can sometimes lead me to saying yes to too many things, which then leads to being a bit exhausted. So I have to keep an eye on that. When was the last time you cried? I cry a lot. Do you? I nearly cried yesterday. Not yesterday, the day before. I was at a mini-girl for my kids. And there was a nine-year-old girl that come over with her mum. And they would say, oh, she really likes you. I shouldn't have let her watch you at the last one laughing.

1:10:20She was a bit young for it. But she was your favourite. She wanted to say hello. And then the girl sort of got a bit panicked. and then started like, oh yeah, and then because she couldn't get her words out, she got a bit upset. She made me upset because I had to go to speech therapy as a kid. And I had that sometimes. So when I saw her doing it, so that made me well up a bit. Sorry, can we start the podcast again? We haven't even spoken about... What's that? We haven't spoken about speech therapy. Yeah. You had a stutter? It was a bit stutter, but also too many words at once. And my mum used to say, it sounded Welsh.

1:10:49Different generation. But I would just talk with no gaps. and like that like sort of physically and like it's all just like churned out so they help me like try and slow down and enunciate that's made me feel emotional that sweet little girl because you felt what you yeah and that happens a lot with young kids that I feel like I feel a bit vulnerable I'm gone so it's good actually because if I do get upset it's an indication that I'm in a good place that is awesome because I'm connecting to that emotion not batting down the atches let's focus what do you say that little girl The problem is I have to try and not completely burst into tears because that's even more embarrassing and stressful for the child.

1:11:27So do you get that lump? Because then she's made me cry. Do you get the lump in your throat? Yeah, like that. A little bit, and my eyes could well up a bit, and I just sort of said, oh, don't worry. And then I started talking a bit more, like, what's your name? What are you doing? Speaking to the mum. And I said, oh, it's okay. When I was younger, I had to go to speech room because sometimes I couldn't get my words out and get a bit embarrassed, but it's totally normal. And then I had a photo, and I'm just like, both welled up. Quite overwhelming. for a nine roll to see Rob Becker crying. My daughter met Rob Becker.

1:11:58What's something you can't let go of? I've still got a little bit inside of me of if someone tells me you can't do something, I'll have to prove them wrong. Love that. So there's a little bit of that toxicity in me with the gulf because I'm rubbish at gulf at the moment. Part of me is like, I can't wait. I can't wait. Make them internet comments. He's shit. But I know I don't really actually care, but it sometimes creeps up. What's your guilty pleasure? The doom scrolling has to stop. Oh, man. I'm so addicted. And it's not even a guilty pleasure. It's not even a pleasure. It's just sort of a zona.

1:12:28It's like drugs. I don't know. I'm the same. But let's contribute another clip to it. Is it TikTok? Yes, I've deleted that. But then I just end up on like, it's sort of like drugs, isn't it? You start on TikTok, which is your main dealer, but then all of a sudden you're on YouTube shorts down a back alley of some bloke you've just met at a festival. So I need to get off that because my kids are getting to the age where they need phones, me and Lou are going to make a conscious decision. You've got to. Yeah, because we can't give them a phone and go, don't do that, and then we do that. So that's got to get sorted.

1:12:58Biggest turn off? What in like... Life. Just life in general. People making other people feel small in whatever way that is, whether it's like bully boy old school ways or that when they try and... I just can't. Can't do it. I can't. It just makes me rear. And I'll get defensive on other people as well. And then you would go for them. Yeah, just that thing of... that when people got a bit of power and they willed it I was just like no it's horrible but unfortunately from doing therapy now I understand why they do it and I have to feel sorry for them and it really was the fun of slagging them off there's no fun slagging them off anymore because you can understand their trauma well you just want to go aren't they a wanker and list all the reasons why they're a wanker because that is still fun yeah and you can still be a nice person yes true what's your biggest turn on?

1:13:49honesty, just people just being straight up, I don't mind if it's good news, bad news, I can't deal with anyone. Just tell me what it is. Boom. Just tell me what it is and let's move on. Any of that, you know, it's not for me. Can't do it. And I'll call it out quick and then, yeah. What do you like most about yourself? Most about myself is the effort I've put in to trying to fix things about me that I find challenging and committing to that. That's a great answer. It's a great way to end. Oh, bonus one. Shag me. You won't. Bonus. bonus shag marry avoid shag okay so you're nicking off Holly Willoughby now yeah does she do that well she did that and no one wanted to shag me did they not Romesh and Josh Ridicum imagine that really I don't mind if it's like David Gandy and David Beckham but imagine no one wanted to shag you and the options are Romesh and Josh who didn't who did she ask fucking hell who did she ask oh Catherine Ryan was asking her and she didn't want to shag you don't think so no shag marry avoid Josh Ridicum Romesh Ranganathan Tom Davis Tom Davis is quite a big unit.

1:14:49Yeah, I think I'd shag him. I wouldn't let him shag me. Would he be missionary? Any way I could get in. Just stepladder and passion. Would there be foreplay before there would be? No, I'd just have to get that done. That would very much, let's just get that done and move on with our day. Who are you marrying? I'd probably marry Romesh and avoid Josh because I think if we were married and did the podcast, that's too much. It's too much. So I'll marry Rom, avoid Josh because I'm already seeing him a lot and then I'll take Tom. Rob Beckett, you're a fucking legend. Rob Beckett, man! Thanks, guys.

1:15:27I can give you a hug, man. Cheers, mate. It was all right.

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