RYLAN CLARK: BLOWING UP MY PERFECT LIFE

0:28Hi, this is Knox from the Popcast with Knox and Jamie. contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

1:00PORK.com. Post a job for free and get started today. Hello, everyone. We're Jamie and Sophie. You may remember us from Nearlyweds and then Newlyweds. But now, guys, things are about to get even wilder as we take on our biggest adventure yet, becoming parents. Yeah, that's right. Newlyweds is now Nearly Parents. And we're bringing you the same honest, heartwarming takes on our journey to parenthood, I guess. Join us as we find out what it really means to become a family while trying not to kill each other. Get ready for Nearly Parents, your favourite new podcast.

1:38Hello everyone, my name is Jamie Lang and this is Great Company.

1:47Well, hello producer Jemima. Good morning. Hello. That's a great start again. I just, I want to say good morning, but I don't know what time someone's listening to this. Yeah, so do not, and it's also not good morning when we're recording this. Very true, it's three in the afternoon. Everything is wrong about that intro. Yeah. I can't do this anymore. You can. I can, I can, I can and I will. Hello, I'm the producer, Jemima, and this here is... I'm your host, Jamie Lang. Welcome back to Great Company. This is our little topic that we like to do where we chat amongst each other because you produce, edit, develop the show.

2:27I'm the host and together we create our show Great Company. It's our baby. It's our baby. By the way, we haven't mentioned this in a while. What? We mentioned on one of the episodes. What? There's a little secret. Oh, right. Go on then. Do we say it? I don't think we should. Ever. I'll give a clue then. There's a secret about the music in the show, but we're not going to say what it is yet. Is that right? Yeah, fine, fine. Okay. Why did that come to mind today? I just quite like, I feel like wanting to let the audience in or something. It's catchy. I've got a question for you. Again, I just want to understand this.

3:04When you cut things out of the show... You're really concerned that I cut things out of the show, aren't you? Well, sometimes, but you want to keep the pace up. Why is it important to have a pacey show? Oh, so basically, when you listen to a show, you shouldn't be like, oh, you've just got to wait until you're 20 minutes in and then that's the funny bit. just put the funny bit at the start wow because I think we have like a mentality of you know when you're little and you have your dinner yeah and say you have a roast dinner there's a lot of different things on that plate correct and the best thing is probably the meat or the potatoes the worst thing the vegetables agreed so your my mum would always be like eat the vegetables first and save the meat for the end but as I've become an adult I've realised I can just eat the meat first and so I think sometimes when you edit you're like oh if you just hold off keep listening keep listening and then you get the funny bit You've got to work for the funny bit.

3:49But I actually think these days immediacy is more important. Like socials, you know, you give it in the first five seconds. I think you've absolutely nailed it. You've got to eat the meat first. Okay. And the gravy. Lick that gravy. Oh, God. Licking that gravy. Do you lick the plate? No, I do. Do you lick a plate? Sometimes. No, Jemima, you do not lick a plate. Yeah, because my dad does and my mum is horrified by it. I can't lick the plate. As a kid, she was like, stop doing that. your children will start doing it and do you know what? You've started doing it. It was good idea, too. At the top of the show when we play the music ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba it goes straight in, boom.

4:28To me and you? Yeah. Because sometimes normally it would play longer but you don't... Oh, give a little bit. Sometimes there's a little bit there's like a bit in the music where it feels like it starts repeating so I bring it down there. Do you want more music? No, I don't. I trust your opinion. We can have more music. No, I trust you. You're the producer. You're the one who creates it. No, but it's important to have other people's. You can't be, you have to be egoless. Yeah, but I like being a passenger host on this show. I have over say on it, but actually it's my show as much as your show. So I can't.

5:01If you think that's right, I trust your judgment. Okay, but I also would trust your ears as well. Okay, well that's good. So we've reached an impasse. So listener, if the music's longer, that's why. Yeah, exactly. Hey, should we talk about today's guest? Yes, I'm excited. Very, very exciting. We have Ryland Clark on the show today. Ryland, you may know from Big Brother. You may know from X Factor. You may know from hosting This Morning. You may know from hosting various award shows. He is amazing. He's incredible. He's so great. And the fact that he's coming on the show today is very, very exciting.

5:37It is very exciting. And he's such a nice, nice man. He's great. He's so great. And we've always had such a good time with each other. As in whenever we see each other, we always make these funny jokes. How do you know each other? You do know each other, right? Yeah, we do know each other. And we know each other kind of well-ish. He does a Radio 2 show. I do a Radio 1 show. Both same management. I have a funny story about when we sang together in a car. Well, he was in another car. Save that. I'm going to save that. Does he know that story? Well, we'll find out. We'll find out. We've done TV shows together.

6:11We've spoken on radio together. So we've never hung out socially. But in the workspace, yeah, I would definitely say we're friends. Yeah. For sure. What are we going to find out? Maybe he doesn't think that about you. Do you think he's going to open up? I think he's a kind of open book kind of guy. I think he says it how it is. Exactly. So I think you're just going to, like, often we'll think about our first question. I think you're just going to roll into it. Okay. I don't think you, I think. I don't know what I'm going to ask first. Well, I don't think you need to worry about that. I think you'll just start chatting.

6:43It will just begin. Well, shall we go for it? Yeah. Before we start, there are lots of you who listen to this show. And if you could do one thing for us, which is follow or subscribe to this show. It does us wonders. I cannot tell you. And it really, really makes a difference. So if you enjoy it and you like the show that you're listening to, please, please do that. Okay. Enough begging. Let's get on with it. Enjoy the episode of Great Company with Rylan Clark. By the way, I've given you an intro, so we just go straight in. Oh, there's an intro. There's no intro. I haven't got to hear this, have I?

7:19Yeah, you haven't got to hear it. And also I slagged you off. The whole intro is me just slagging you off. You know I'm here to fuck this podcast up. This will be your last one, you prick. The whole intro is me just slagging you off and then just being really nice to your face. Oh, so your Twitter. Nice to meet you. Hi, guys. I'm Rylan Clark, and allegedly I'm Greg.

7:41There's that scene which is so iconic, is when we actually watched it before you came in. Oh, I'm thrilled. Which is honestly just so... And honestly, it's like, if you think about sort of British television, it's up there. The moment... Yeah, it's definitely... It's so great. The moment when you, Nicole Scherzinger, tells you that you're going through. Yeah. And, you know, if you don't know it, it's the moment she sort of... She tees it up as if she's going to let you down and then says you're through and you start crying. There is a story to this, though. I know, I want to hear it. so we were in dubai dubs as we called it back then and um for your essex listeners um and um it was when i say 50 degrees it was 50 degrees yeah yeah so we fly to dubai we get there as i get off the plane the producer reads me the riot act and goes don't be gay i'm like i was like why like you'll get killed you'll get arrested i'm like happy charges houses could have gone to fucking benedon but whatever don't be gay so i'm like all right all right whatever so we get put in i think it was called the jumeirah's of bill saray from what i remember it's like a seven star it was brand new we were like literally one of the first people to go and use it this is also peak x factor oh pay this is like we're talking like 12 million viewers huge crazy like week after week people are following us so the night i flew to judge's houses we was at heathrow we were about to get on the plane yeah and my phone just went bang bang bang bang bang and then fizzled and overheated and turned off and i was like what the fuck's going on and the producer grabbed my phone and went your audition's just gone out i went what she's like you're on the show tonight we didn't want to tell you your audition's literally on air now and i've gone what what what and then i was pushed onto the plane door shut gone i've got no idea now they kept my phone for the whole of judges houses so i flew to judges houses got there and i'm like my audition's gone out like what do people think like what are people saying i had no idea because Because you don't have anything?

9:35No, because in real time, I'm at judges' houses with no phone. Whoa, what? Yeah, they take all your stuff off you because they want you to just be in the moment. And you're so in the moment because it's so present at that time. Yeah, because there's nothing you can do. So, like, for argument's sake, James, who I was with, James Arthur, his audition had gone out two weeks before mine. Jarmaine's had gone out the week before mine. So we're all there. They know what their reaction is. I don't. I literally am put on the plane as it's playing out and the door's sealed. So I'm fucked. I can't get nothing, right?

10:03so we're in Dubai waiting for Nicole she comes around on a boat like giving it and I'm like oh it's Nicole we all knew we knew it was fucking Nicole because we all had a WhatsApp group we were the last ones to go and I've got like Carolyn and like Kai going we've got Gary and we're in like fucking Norwich and then like the Union J boys are like we're in Vegas with Louis so I'm like right we've got Nicole where are we going where are we going and we know we're going to Dubai yeah it's absolutely fine because the other day where are we you have to go open the envelope it's Dubai and then nicole comes around on the boat we've got to go oh my god it's nicole i'm so sure and we also knew because we overheard the production talking about on the plane that the guest star was neo so then neo comes off the boat and we're like oh my god it's neo oh my god i believe it so we're there neo is actual neo like just for a laugh so yeah we do all that anyway so you're going to rehearsals and stuff like that and i'm looking around and I'm thinking look I'm pretty certain this is where my journey ends on X Factor so I'm just going to enjoy it and god bless Caroline Flack like one of my good mates I love her to bits she was obviously doing Extra Factor at the time and the night the day of the performances we all go and perform one by one for Nicole and Neo and um I performed and she was like how are you my baby and i was like i don't know nick like you know me like boiling anyway once i've done the performance i thought that's it i'm done now and i know i'm going to be going home like great like i've had a good time so that night we went back to my villa so there was me james weirdly enough me james and jarmaine in one villa yeah and um adam nathan and jake now quickenden jake quickenden were in another villa so he was actually part of my ex-factor here as well and um in the royal villas you had your own pool you had the beach right out the front your own butler it was beautiful you asked for a vodka and coke and the butler would bring you a bottle of absolute and a bottle of coke like it was massive and we're like just bring us the straw um so we're sort of thinking fuck it let's let our hair down like we've got the results tomorrow at midday we've got to be we ain't got to sing no more let's just enjoy it so like caroline come and joined we just had the best night ever at six in the morning another producer has woke up heard that we're still going has come to my villa and went you need to fucking go to bed you've got to be up for the results in an hour and i'm like okay so we go i go up to bed have like 30 minutes sleep then i'm like being dragged out of a bed by another producer going you need to get ready it's time and i'm like oh i can't breathe so i still don't realize at this point because i'm in the beautiful aircon villa already dressed like batman barefoot whatever i've got this cape on a knitted cape knitted cape so heavy and hot did you put it on and go yeah I look badass I was like fuck I look good for 30 minutes deep fine with it I'm wearing a cape it's time to walk over to the main hotel we're going to go and do the result the doors opened I walked out and have you seen the film The Witches you know when Angelica Houston takes her face off and peels it off that was me my face literally slipped from my actual skull down my top and I just went oh my god i can't breathe and it was like someone had stuffed wool in my mouth like cotton wool balls just down my throat i was like and then the hangover hits right so in the walk which is 400 meters from my villa to the hotel where we've got like a holding area i can't breathe i'm dripping wet my mouth is like the dry it's like the sahara anxiety through the room anxiety through the room so the first person i see is caroline right and i'm like oh thank god like friendly face so just before i'm going in caroline i'm standing by the door ready to receive my fate and obviously me and caroline got a bit of a relationship at this point so i'm like you know the cameras are over there are not on us and i'm like she's like you're right i was like you're right she's like i've got such a thing i was listen i'm going home right i'm going home she's like just like nods her head so like smiles closes her eyes and just nods in like yeah babe and i remember grabbing her by the her waist and going and squeezing and going thanks babe but i really appreciate you letting me know so i've not got to go in there and be like could it happen at that last minute i know i'm going home so i'll walk in go into the room nicole's like hey baby i'm not behind you you're right by this point the hangover's really kicking in so i can just feel myself getting emotional i'm thinking oh it's the end of the journey i've had a lovely time it's been so fun so she does the whole spiel when she tells me it's such a big risk that i have to take everyone thought my reaction was fake but i genuinely the cotton wall just expanded and i was like what what and then just the floodgates i cried vodka i cried pure vodka into her lap honestly we could have opened a bar it was it was awful and i kept looking around and you should never when you're on telly like break the fourth wall where there's cameras and i just couldn't breathe and i kept looking at all the camera boys everyone going you're lying is it a joke was it is it you like i couldn't speak i couldn't breathe this went on for 23 minutes they timed it the medic had to be called in because they thought i was gonna have a pass out like a seizure something like that even then i've walked out of the room i'm still going i know i'm going through but my brain can't comprehend it i then see derma i hit derma telling him he's out of order because i thought it was caroline because my brain's not fucking thinking and then the next thing i know i get taken away to obviously a villa without the three boys that haven't got through and i'm putting that villa and we then have to go and do extra factor and i see caroline and the words i said to her off camera she was pissing herself but i was like you wait you wait and then that was it and then on the plane home the that's when i knew things had changed because we got on the plane at dubai airport and the air stewards were like oh my god you're rylan from x factor because three days previous my audition had gone out that i still haven't seen and i was like what they were like have you got are you at judges houses i was like yeah and they went you got through i went yeah i thought fuck it i won't let's tell anyone but they've got the alcohol and then for the rest of the flight i was in the crew mess at the back just drinking bottles of wine with him we had a lovely time yeah man that moment when also so you get through it's like this huge moment it's also real it doesn't feel real also this is like i said this is peak like like peak this is life and death this is peak, X Factor, fame, everything.

16:58You know, you get through to the live show, even if you have one week, you know you're going to earn money. You're going to get those guaranteed, like, gigs in clubs, all the gay clubs, rah, rah, rah. Is that what everyone was going for? You just knew you were going to get through that? No, you get one week. If you do one week of X Factor live shows, that's set. It's in the contract. It's like, right, your first gig's at GAY next Saturday night. This then happens. Then you go to this club. It's like a run. You do a run. All the clubs book you up back then. But you must have had a vision as well.

17:23Because I feel like with you, you had this sort of, like putting the Big Brother stamp on your bag, you have this vision, you sort of manifest things. You must have thought, okay, I'm through now. I have this plan. I'm going to do this. Then I'm going to talk. When did that dream go, right, I want to become a presenter. I want to go down that route. So I would say, so it was week three of X Factor. I'm still doing well. I lasted eight weeks in the end. Week fifth? Yeah. Unbelievable. I mean, people's fault, something. But yeah, I think it was week three. After every X Factor live show, you then go into like the bar at fountain studios and it would be pressed you never get pissed of course we did you mad um it would be pressing there all your friends and family like all the contestant friends and family and the production friends and guests and um i can say this now i don't care yeah he won't mind remember jamie east yes i love jamie east he was there and at the time jamie east was presenting bit on the side big brothers bit on the side with alice levine and he he went can I talk to you I went yeah he went they want you to go and celebrate big brother I said what because obviously big brother is like my dream yeah and he went they want you to go and celebrate big brother and they've asked me to put a word in your ear um are you joking he went no I'm serious he went take my number if you want to do it text me like Monday tomorrow Monday and let me know and we'll sort it out so bearing in mind I'm on X Factor and I've just been told by the host of another show they want me to go into big brother celebrity big brother in January I'm like this is my fucking dream if i go next week don't matter like i'm going to big brother fuck the lot of you you know i've had a lovely time so anyway at the time jamie stevens he was like the x-factor hairdresser i came up with this like elaborate plan week five of x-factor because i thought i'm gonna go this week it'll be fine so week five of x-factor i'm at rehearsals i've said i need to go to jamie's salon to get my hair done and there was someone that worked in jamie's salon that i thought quite a good friendship with i text them and i said i'm gonna come to the salon i'm gonna to come in the front door i'm going to go out of the back door into the restaurant next door someone's going to be waiting there for me so because there's always paps following us everywhere really everywhere you went there was so i had my celebrity big brother interview week five of x factor when x factor thought i was at the salon having my hair done and they were like yeah we want you and i was like okay fine they were like right so just the second you're out call us and we'll get all sorted i was like great week six i never went get a message from the book as a big brother going you need to go because if you last any longer it's like tough for us to put you in because you're gonna have more work week seven i don't go and they're like you need to fucking leave to get out and then week eight i went which was bang on and i knew i was going to celebrity big brother and like four three or four weeks after that hang on this is this is wild yeah i heard also is this right they paid you a hundred thousand to go and do it and the big brother the big brother and that time coming from essex i would have done it for free yeah because i loved Big Brother.

20:12But how insane is that? But then... All I wanted was a husband and a Range Rover. That's all I wanted growing up. I mean, I've had one, lost one, and still got the range. So I'm happy.

20:23And it's a defender now.

20:29I remember so vividly when you were hosting Big Brother's Bill on the Side and you were nailing it. And I went, oh, I think I can do that. So I think I can do that. And they asked me to go on the show. Yeah. And I said, I'm only going to... I asked you to go on the show. asked me to go on the show and I said the only reason I'm going on the show is if I can trial out you know didn't I get you doing an item you know you I got to present like a practice present that was it you did a run through I did a run through yeah that's right because they were looking for people if I was ill it was the worst thing I've ever done they were looking for people if I was ill I remember that mate it was the worst thing I totally remember because they asked me they were like would you be offended I was like absolutely not bring him in he'll be shit I'm joking I was so shit I was so shit like honestly do you remember this I totally remember this so you you were doing and I was like I reckon I can do that yeah it looks easy it looks easy it looks easy I was like I'm just going to read this little screen that's there with words and I'm just going to and anyway they went okay alright Jamie Ryan's out there Jamie you're going to come to your run through and I was like what they were like you're going to come to your run through as I was they were micing me up putting these things on they're like stand at the top of the stairs right okay here we go three two one and this camera comes towards me and it has writing on it and I'm go So I honestly, it was like I was in a hostage situation.

21:44Hello. Well, it is to be naturally free flowing to present is a complete skill. It is a complete skill. I don't think people appreciate how much of a skill it is. But you have that naturally. You, I came on your show that you hosted when you did your talk show. Yeah, I've been on your big brother show. I've seen you this morning. I'm a stalker. I know, just following you wherever you go, chasing you in cars. Man, you have that within you. You have that relaxed nature to be able to present. Do you know what? I don't even like doing a rehearsal, James. So when I did Big Brother for the first, I'd say my first series, they made us do two rehearsals.

22:22So you do the first rehearsal, then you get dressed and made up and do a rehearsal before the real show, then you do the real show. And as time went on, I was like, this ain't working for me because I'd naturally say something in rehearsals that everyone laughed at, but I wouldn't say it then in the main show because I'm not a comedian. I've not planned to say it. It's not like I've written it. See what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just throw it off the car. By the end of Big Brother, my rehearsals were probably 10 minutes and me going, no, no, no, no, it's fine. We'll come back to Big Brother.

22:49Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. There's this, in life, right, we're meant to follow this traditional route of anything. Yeah. You don't follow that route. No. But then, so how do you conquer the imposter syndrome? How do you get on stage and act so confident? I didn't. I did for 10 years, and then i hit a speed bump and then boom it all hit me i was like what's happened what do you mean well obviously i went through like a difficult divorce and it triggered this whole domino effect of stopping for the very first time i've not stopped for 10 years since the day i walked onto x factor since the day that trigger happened i'd not stopped i'd never stopped once to think how am i in this house how am i in a position where i can choose what i do day to day how how am i famous why do these people know who i am why do these people want a photo with me i've never stopped and thought this is crazy i just went yep mm-hmm yeah yeah this is normal this is normal this is not it's not fucking normal it's none of it's normal and that just felt like every wall falling down on me going oh my god what happened to my life because just yesterday I was up colours in Basildon on a Friday night scrambling together three quid for a sman of ice so what the fuck happened and all of that just sort of piled on top of me to the point where I'd obviously like a bad breakdown I've got the sort of the end of my marriage to deal with on one side then starting to realize fuck what's happened to my life I can't do this I can't do this job I lost my speech I lost I lost my vision for a little bit like it was all really just it was like having a really bad stroke it was just so bizarre and yeah it took me months to go back to work I think I was off for like four or five months and I rarely would have like four hours off let alone fucking four months so yeah it was I mean I needed to do it and I needed to start again and I needed to reset myself but the only regret I've got from that is that I wish I'd never stopped and i just dealt with it in a different way but i didn't and then it was out of my control what would you have dealt in a different way are you kidding me i don't know i don't know how would you i don't know i don't know i don't know it's just you know how long did it take you to even stop because i because uh instantaneously really it was it was a button that button was pressed and that was it and that's when i stopped talk it i just need to understand so what is it literally it was like a button the only way i want to relate it to myself is when i had a it's not simply had a panic attack and it was like a button was pressed and suddenly my whole world turned upside down that was literally it that was literally it so you almost had some sort of panic attack that sent you spiraling and then it just went i see it as like a self-destruct button something in my mind was going up your seemingly perfect life it up press this button and blow it all up and I went yeah and what then unfolded was months of me thinking but why would I do that why would anyone want to blow up their perfect life if you like and it took me months to realize that my life wasn't perfect and that things weren't right or as I thought or this or that so So when I started to understand that's why I pressed the button, that's when I started to get better.

26:16So something in the back of my mind must have just always been underlying. And it just got bigger and bigger and bigger. I went, press the fucking button. And I just slammed it without even hesitating because it was in my own head. I just went, bang, hit that button. And then for months, I was like, why would I press that fucking button? Why would I pull the trigger? Like, that's how it felt. and then one day it's almost like a letter appeared in the post explaining exactly why i pressed that button and my brain went oh fuck that's why i pressed the button what was the what was just just realization just understanding things learning new things and just realizing that i'm not fucking mad basically yeah and that that was the do you think you're going mad i thought i was i thought i was crazy yeah you do like i thought i was well i was because the only the only explanation is going through that i've lost my mind so when you stop believing something oh you you you become it so i was like well clearly i'm mad clearly i'm unwell clearly i'm not right clearly i'm this clearly i'm that and then sort of obviously that's an analogy i didn't get a letter but yeah i know when the letter came through and i read everything in that letter i went oh that's why i hit the button and i would it's almost like a gratefulness where you go cheers for letting me know thank you send the letter back and then you tell your brain well done like well done you like you needed to do that reset and now i get it and then from that moment on that's when i started making these steps and i described it before i remember really really well i was living with my mum at the time because i didn't want to be in my own house i didn't want to do nothing i couldn't be trusted to be perfectly honest really yeah it was bad i'm so sorry man no no it's fine like it's not though but but also do you know i just want to say it's so i honestly it's it's it's insane someone like you talking about it because i swear to god like so you're this larger than life character tv all the time it's it's that but even admitting to have that yeah period in your life that you but james i just have to be honest because it's something that i've learned you're playing a character and then i can't do guilt i can't do none of that it just doesn't work it's it's too much on your shoulders and I remember my mum you know she's 70 odd years old and all she wants is her son to get better and she used to go no you make me a tea you make me a tea and I physically couldn't I couldn't I couldn't move I couldn't do this and I remember one day I walked to the kettle and pressed the button walked away forgot about it then the next day I pressed the button watched it boil it boiled then I run away then the next day it'd be press the button watch it boil put the tea bag in the cup and so on and so on and so on until i got to that point where i could make a cup of tea and walk it over to my mom genuinely that's true that's not an analogy that genuinely is what happened and that's what i always remember every single day even now when i think i can't do this or i'm i'm too busy or i'm i need this or i there's no way i could do that job or i can't sing that song or i can't do when i sit there and go well you couldn't make a fucking cup of tea and now you could be a fucking barista if you want so you can learn anything you need to learn and you can do anything you want to do you might not make the best job of it on day one you might only press the button on day three you might only get to it boiling on day four you might pour the water by day fucking 20 you'll have your own coffee shop like that's how I try and look at things now and that's from going through that and when you're going through shit like that the last thing you want to hear from people is it will get better it will get better you need to learn to be on your own before you're fully happy with someone else and all this all of these things you think fuck off that's the last thing you ain't got a clue you ain't going through it from someone who's been through it i hate to say but the bullet it's true you do need time time does help you do need to slow down you do need to spend a bit of time on your own to actually love yourself and things like it's important like self-care is important it's not just the moisturizer and the serum you use you've got to look after the inside like diet and all that which i never do because i'm terrible but mainly up here you just need to look after yourself what do you think about love i think when you find it you really will know it you really will know i definitely will know but i think we can see other things in disguise as love that maybe if you're naive or young or never been right, you just think certain things are normal when actually they're not.

30:46So what is your dating situation at the moment? Fucking hell horrendous. Have you seen the fucking state of me? Let's go out with fucking Mr. Ed. Go away. Size of these teeth. Were you always, because I don't think you remember this, but I remember this. When we slept together. Yeah, do you remember that? Not really. Okay, well, my memory's a bit hazy. Yeah. It's a little bit hazy. You weren't the only one. Do you remember this moment when we were in the car together? We weren't in the car together. I was in the car, and I was singing a song. I think I do remember this. Do you remember this? We were singing a song, and I think it was like a Britney Spears song or whatever it was, and I was singing along like this, and it was something like, hit me baby one more time oh my god sorry I thought Britney was here I know she is and I look to my right and I pull up to you and you're singing exactly the same song with me and I was like oh my god was that you I've been looking for you for years I never realised I thought I was meant to be and you're going hit me baby no I swear to god and you look at me and went and just and I was like I hate myself honestly I remember this you don't remember this This definitely sounds like me, yeah.

32:00I swear to God. Have you always been this kind of charismatic, kind of larger-than-life character? I mean, I've always been the same person, but there's definitely like two of me. Like, I think I'm pretty boring. Really? Yeah. I think I'm a bit of a bore. You're not a bit of a bore. I am. Our agent is over there nodding his head. I'm not this, like, party boy that everyone thinks I am. But I don't think you're a party boy, but, like, I would say this. Like I definitely, there are, there are, there are so many sides to everybody, right? Like people always say there's one side with your family. There's one side with your friends.

32:34There's one side you're at work and there's one side maybe you're in a relationship. Yeah. And you definitely sort of, you know, especially. You're like Big Ben, four faces. Yeah, exactly. But also in this like life of like presenting in TV, you kind of have to have two sides. Yeah, like Rylan is a bit of a character. Really? Definitely. Yeah. But it's a lot of Ross, but like Ross on crack. Yeah. But as a kid though, growing up. Oh, I was that like ginger kid that was like feisty little bastard. Yeah, I'd be the one at like family parties, like getting up on the chair and doing a little routine to Spice Girls.

33:06While my aunts and while my brother's sitting there going, oh, fucking hell, I wish you liked football. So you're young, you're living in Essex and you go to this school, which is apparently one of the best schools. At the time, it was the top school in the country. It was the top school in the country. I was like this really bright kid. Were you? Yeah. did you know what you wanted to do and i always wanted to be a pop star and then i i i knew i was gonna be famous but i didn't know what for get out of here yeah no i know like in even in my yearbooks i remember in the yearbook for boys yeah i won most likely to be famous and in the yearbook for the girls i was in that one as well obviously and i can't remember what it was i think was most likely to end up on tv or something like that do you know i i for some reasons because we're the same age like fame was like the most like exciting thing you because of the era we grew up in so like why is that so when we were at secondary school which was like 2000 to 2005 that era is when things like reality tv really kicked off yeah so things like big brother um i'm a celebrity even things like that and it just showed you especially big brother that anyone could become a superstar you know we'd grown up previous to that with people like uh film stars like arnold schwarzenegger tom hanks yeah yeah yeah like celebrities we didn't have social media we didn't have none of that and then the spice girls come along and they were british girls that had taken over the world and you're like wow like they're celebrities then all of a sudden you've got like the likes of jade goody and people like that this reality star that come through and all of a sudden you look at as an absolute celebrity they are in your head at that age on the same level as someone like the spice girls or tom hanks because they are everywhere they're earning so much money they're celebrities and there was this thing in my head like i was always obsessed with my brother and that whole concept of a world within a world like this artificial bubble that's been created like i used to love the truman show the film like all of that and it's all these like little drip feeds at our age that started making me go well i could do that and i remember it was year so it would have been big brother four so 2003 so it would have been year nine year nine we went on a school trip to the isle of wight and at that point big brother four had just started and i printed the big brother four eye off in the it lab and stuck it on my suitcase and i remember getting on the train to go to school such a weird thing to stick i am i am weird but it was almost like i was like crafting my future yeah yeah so like physically doing it and obviously i did ended up going in big brother i've got those suitcases and won i'm gonna get into that but it's just this fascination with fame i'm so i'm so glad you i don't know why it was our age like i remember seeing britney spears yeah on tv and just being obsessed with like maybe for different reasons for different reasons but i but i was obsessed Yes, and I also, like, I used to go to bed at night.

36:13Where are you going with it? Yeah, thinking of Britney Spears. No, but I used to go to bed at night, and I remember I used to, like, dream about, like, being on stage and performing. And so many of the guys that I knew were thinking this, we had this obsession with being famous. But there is... Because it was, like, untouchable. Yeah, there's a group now, though. There is a group of us, and we're all at a very similar age, that are doing not the same things, but we're all in it in some respect. and whether people i'm just very honest but whether people want to admit that it's thinking back to those times that childhood that we had and then teenage years which are the years that shape you yeah don't get me wrong people later on in life they could be in their 40s 50s 60s 70s might have a massive career change or change the path of their life because of circumstance but there is a lot of us in the industry that we both work in now that are of a very similar age that are all doing the best way to describe it is an event let's say there's an event that everyone wants to go to there is a group of our age people that are standing there all together and it's because we all grew up in that era of i could do that like all that this is showing me is that that could be me and that's when you had these new avenues to be who you wanted to be you know you found fame on a reality show yeah yeah i found fame on a reality show yeah but i was i was I at the beginning of it was I didn't want people to think that I was doing it because I wanted to be famous you didn't want people to think that yeah but I did think it right of course yeah of course I did a reality show about being posh because I thought it would be fun to be famous exactly but I tried to make every excuse under the sun to be like no it was because of this and because of that well of course because you know you see someone on TV it's like I just want to be famous you think prick yeah but you were never you never tried I don't think you ever tried to make an excuse no I was like I know what I want to do and I'm going to do it and yeah you always were just like no that's what i want to be i was like i want to be famous i mean don't get me wrong it's a very different story now but when i was on x factor i had a job x factor was a job to me 100 and i knew am i the best singer in the world no can i do as good as other people on here yeah i can and when the process started happening and i started going through and i saw the way they were treating me different to this guy here and that girl there i was like okay and it's i just started playing the game early and you realize in especially in reality tv as much as people don't like to go on about stereotypes bullshit there is a box for absolutely everyone if i'm the producer i'm the exec i'm the head of the channel i've got a chart it's a little bit like when you see on these reality shows the pictures and the polaroid that's what it is and you want the gay one you want the hamlet the joe cack you want the good looking guy you want the sweet innocent girl you want that it's actually that yeah you're completely right and i knew well i'm not the good looking guy i'm not come on the boy band boy come on no like i knew what i was i knew what my box was i think you were feeling quite a lot of those boxes i think i'm good looking but but yeah i knew what my job was and i thought i can either stand here and sing and last two or three weeks of the live shows or i give give the machine exactly what it needs to be fed and hopefully last a little bit longer and eight weeks later that right there i was yeah but that's amazing that you realize that yeah when i did main chelsea i did not realize like how much of a game it was i was the joke but i knew i was the joke so i was in on it that's the difference whereas looking before me you know not mention any names but especially on x factor there are people that get that far or actually not as far as me i was the one that got the fan but there were people that got to those live shows that we'd all perceive as the public as the joke act but they didn't believe they were the joke act they thought they were the next lady gaga or they thought they were the next madonna when in fact from day one i was like i'm not the next lady gaga i know i'm the joke well let's let's play where does that self-awareness come from because that's the era we grew up in the era we grew up in i just got there earlier than a lot of other people that self-awareness realizing that because it's it's every bit of your emotion wants to typically as humans we'll just go i'm not the joke act this is i'm good i'm great i'm this and that but you kind of lent into it and like no this is what it's going to be because i knew i wasn't as good as dave three three people along i knew i wasn't as good as that you know i was on there with like james arthur i was on there with ella henderson i was there with lucy spraggan union and jay jay i mean all of these people that were incredibly talented singers i knew i wasn't as good technically a singer as them i knew i was better than what i was doing on a saturday night on x factor and so did all of they so when you watch x factor back and week one obviously i'm in the bottom two and get saved week two when i got saved by the public for the first time on them live shows just look at every single other contestants reaction because they were more happier for me than i was because they were like brilliant like because they knew they were all in with me they knew i could sing i shared a bed with james for like six weeks did you really yeah we used to sing in bed like pretty much every night like he made up this song about me called rylander and we all even now whenever we speak he's like rylander and i'm like right like it's just like piss take and it's like you and james are the shared events yeah we were like romance central i love that man you know he's like a brother to me and so is jarmaine like We have the Shazzy boys.

41:38We always will be.

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43:19I didn't realise that your real name is Ross. Who fucking told you that? Yeah, my real name's Ross. Ross Richard Clarke. Yeah, dick in the middle. born 25th of october same year that i was born but we're not going to say that year 88 yeah you said it fine 88 someone's been on wikipedia haven't they nice to see the researchers in here when did you change your name to rylan well i never legally changed it did you not i'm still ross um but yeah it was when i was about 16 17 i was working in river island yeah and at the same time i was modeling because i've always been like 40 foot tall and i did a modeling job for this like concierge company at canary wolf and it was basically the most naff photo shoot of like me with a bunch of flowers knocking on a door here you go madam like that awful style of like muggy picture and my modeling agency at the time said our ross is a boring name we're going to call you keelan i went all right yeah fine whatever sorry they said they were going to call you keelan keelan was my name k-e-e-l-a-n yeah yeah yeah and uh so i did this job all day everyone's calling me keelan and at the end of the day back then it's how old we are they paid you by check but the check wasn't a written check it was a printed check from like a company and it was made out to mr k clark and i was so embarrassed to go up to this woman who'd handed me this check and say i'm really sorry can you change this check because my name's not keelan it's ross i never ended up cashing the check shut up yeah because i was that embarrassed and back then it was like 200 quid a lot of money yeah it still is now and the next day i was back at river island on my lunch break opposite was wh myth i went in picked up a baby book went straight to r because i thought it's gonna have to be the same initial as as my name if i get paid by check again and i saw rylan and i went oh that sounds like keelan shut the book and then get out of here there's no ways true you literally opened up and that said that's why i think it was like a thousand and one baby names yeah you have your new show as well how to be in the spotlight oh yeah yeah that's been interesting talk to me i'm being you being mr podcast what do you find about when you have to You know.

45:29I've had one person walk out already. Get out of here. Yeah, I'm not going to say who, but yeah, I've had to lose the episode. Why? Just got difficult. Really? Yeah, they walked out. What's the concept of the show? The concept of the show is how to be in the spotlight. So I did How to Be a Man. Yeah, yeah, which is amazing. We were just talking about masculinity. And I love putting it out on Twitter going, Ryland's going to do a podcast on how to be a man. And you get the fucking lot. Who the fuck's he know about being a man? I love it. I love it. And it's done really well. and so that was all about masculinity this one's called how to be in the spotlight so it's talking to people from all walks of this industry who have either had it and lost it had always had it from birth basically stereotypes i love a stereotype so i've got you know uh daisy may cooper you know comes from a very normal background all of a sudden working fucking hard working fucking hard and then all of a sudden this country happens and she's massive how does she deal with that you know she didn't deal with it well no she didn't she didn't and you you hear that on on the pod and talking about her breakup as well so wow a lot of the things that the guests throughout the series there's a lot of resonating things that has happened in my sort of path as well which makes the interviewer at the interviewee feel a lot more comfortable as well charlotte church she was a great chat jamila jamil we spoke to lee frances about playing that character how does it feel to be famous but not as lee does he open up yeah he opened up really a lot well done because i imagine he's hard to open up everyone i think to a certain extent is is hard but a bit like you i know you're not here to set me up yeah i know you know i'm not there to set you up and i think that's actually the way forward because there's so many people out there that are there to get a headline let's be honest we all want our things to get press and people know about it but i don't want to make someone feel so uncomfortable just to get something out of them that's that's not my style it never has been and i think that's why people are actually a lot more open when i talk to a bit like you because you're doing the same you know you asked me about my divorce if you were a prick or if i knew you were trying to get something out of me i would have just gone i'm not talking about my divorce let's talk about my podcast like i wouldn't have done that so it's you're so right it's that yeah when you're just nice and and you and also i think it's so right you hit back with your own sort of story your own emotions and what you've been through and i'll tell you a good one actually that we did recently was andy colson he was the editor of the news of the world during the phone hacking scandal fucking hell yeah that was a really interesting it yeah did someone gasp yeah yeah i did annie colson and um shit that was the fuck is your booker that's unbelievable no it's really good and it was very uh very interesting because i wasn't going to go into the inquiry i don't need to go into it we all know it's fucking well documented what happened there he obviously got found guilty he was sent to prison um but i wanted to know who the man was i wanted to know who he was and how he dealt with it you know let's look at everything else whether you sit there and go you don't want to give him the time of day or you do i wanted to know about him i wanted to know how did he deal with being in the spotlight when he was the one actually controlling who was in the spotlight for many a year it's up to him who was on the front page of the paper and then all of a sudden he was it's just really interesting chat so yeah it's this really broad set of 12 guests are you comfortable now with being famous rylan is yeah ross still can't be fucking bothered ross hates it ross at home his voice goes really low i mean because i forget the phone to my manager every morning he's like what's the matter and i'm like what are you going on about i forget fuck b rylan can I say buddy this is this has been so great I've loved it honestly man like and I know how busy you are and I know how much you have going on and so to sit down with you and talk about stuff because also I kind of you know in a non-cheesy way I sort of look up to what you you sort of done well you're five foot I'm six foot that's why I look up that's the only reason I look up but I do because you know I appreciate that you know but listen we're the same yeah we're the same in that we've done it sort of similar times, similar things.

49:40And we've, we've both been really, really lucky. You know, I admire what you've done, especially with business. I think you've been fucking incredible. Thanks. I have, um, I have eight questions for you. Okay, here we go. You ready for this? Yes. Gotta be honest. You always are. I like it. What's a saying or phrase that always makes you smile or cheers you up? You'll be all right, babe. Great answer. Best compliment anyone's ever given you? You're not that arse off the telly. What scares you most about yourself? How I can be two different people. These are great answers. When was the last time you cried and why?

50:15I got back from a wedding Sunday and just had a little moment because I was like the only single gay there. No willy for me. It weren't the willy, I was just wanting to cuddle. Oh, sweet. I just had a little tear because it was just so beautiful. What's something you can't let go of? Regret. I like holding on to my regrets. Really? Yeah, I think he keeps me on my toes. Wow Yeah there's a lot of things I regret But I like holding on to them Because I think Don't fucking do it again You don't need to go deeper I get it What's something that you'd be embarrassed For people to know you like or want?

50:50I really like a tube carriage And I'm trying to buy the Spice bus From the movie The company's gone into liquidation R.I.P. But I'm swooping It's on the Isle of Wight And if anyone's got that VS5 Which they're trying to fucking find And please get in touch. It's so good. They can't find the person who owns the VS5. Because it's a real bus. I want the fucking bus. That's almost a show in itself. I'm up for it. Put it on like Dave or TLC or something. Quest Red.

51:25What turns you off? Dishonesty. What turns you on? Honesty. And cock. No, a nice ass. same as me what sound weird I knew it fucking knew it email us yeah all right say that now took it a while no there's no edit there no that's going straight in the promo

51:57what do you like most about yourself that I could have changed but I didn't come on Ryan that's unbelievable bonus question favourite swear word cunt gotta be right yeah absolutely I say that a lot in a nice way there's two ways to say that there's like you know I'll shout you cunt or see you you fucking cunt it's just the way you put it Ryan and thank you for coming on Great Company we love you love you Toby

52:31I felt that was great that was so fun such good energy ah just storytelling is what we want going back and forward telling those amazing things he's so funny as well yeah that was really really good um I want to say a big thank you to everyone who listened to the episode yes if you enjoyed it please share it with others please do really would be amazing if you could share it um and if you haven't followed us already just click the follow button because it does wonders for us we're also on social media so you can ever heard of it yeah ever heard of it you can follow us on TikTok, Instagram at Great Company Podcast and you can send us direct messages there.

53:06We'd love to hear from you. Anyway, we hope you enjoyed it. We hope you have an amazing day, whatever you're doing. And we're going to see you next week for another episode on Wednesdays of Great Company. That's good, Jemona. Thank you. Yes.

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54:09Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Shameless is the pop culture podcast for smart people who love dumb stuff. I'm Mish and every Monday and Thursday I'm joined by my co-host Sarah. Hello, I am Sarah. Every Monday we go deep on a big culture story like why you love the summer I turn pretty so much or why you keep seeing so many celebrities announcing they have Lyme disease. On Thursdays, we welcome you to the Quick and Dirty, also known as the biggest sugary headlines of the week. Our episodes have been listened to over 100 million times. Search for Shameless in your favourite podcast platform to see why.