In short
A “Heavyweight” update on Brandon, revisiting his senior-year prom story and then checking in on who he has become since the original episode.
Guest backgrounds
Brandon (33) is a former “misfit” who grew up in a deaf community (child of deaf adults), dealt with bullying, and later married Megan. Megan is his wife and an art teacher; Allie is his prom date from senior year, now living in Carmel with two daughters.
Key claims
Allie invited Brandon to prom because she found him funny, liked his smile, and wanted him specifically (not pity or a prank). Brandon’s prom helped him feel like he “finished high school as a person who went to prom.” In the update, Brandon credits qigong/meditation and “no pretending” for becoming less self-conscious and more authentic.
Notable examples
He was bullied for appearance (e.g., shaving a Nike swoosh into his head) and social norms (loudness). He and Allie video-call 15 years later to discuss why she chose him; he later asks about her memories and she recalls planning to “make him go.”
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOSetting Up Brandon's Story
0:22 to 2:16
Discussion about the upcoming story of Brandon, highlighting transformations.
“I don't know why it smells like egg salad in here.”
Heavyweight Podcast Announcement
2:16 to 4:40
Announcement of a potential TV adaptation for the podcast.
“Well, it seems like there's some interest in turning the heavyweight podcast into a TV show.”
Heavyweight Podcast Announcement
4:43 to 4:53
Announcement of a potential TV adaptation for the podcast.
“To listen to more of our American Genius series, listen to business history.”
Brandon's Prom Experience
6:05 to 17:00
Brandon narrates his experiences leading up to prom and his feelings of insecurities.
“Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on.”
Reconnecting with Allie
17:01 to 28:00
Brandon prepares to reach out to Allie about their prom and the feelings it evokes.
“After the break, I chaperone Brandon back to high school.”
Brandon and Allie's High School Memories
28:00 to 29:26
Brandon and Allie reminisce about their high school experiences, especially around prom.
“The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise a family.”
The Prom Invitation
29:26 to 31:34
Allie reveals her thoughts about inviting Brandon to prom and their friendship dynamics.
“And then eventually you were like, you and me can go to prom.”
Reflections on Prom
31:34 to 34:24
Brandon and Allie discuss their feelings and experiences at prom, highlighting the importance of the event.
“I'm sure there were moments where I was like, oh, is this a thing?”
Brandon's Growth and Insecurities
34:24 to 38:27
Brandon shares his journey of self-acceptance and insecurities related to his body image.
“and forget the misfit feelings I was having.”
Comfort in Relationships
38:27 to 39:39
Brandon reflects on his relationship with Megan and the comfort he feels compared to past experiences.
“And I don't think it's weird that you didn't wear underwear.”
Show all 13 chapters
Reflections on Growth and Change
42:05 to 44:33
Brandon discusses personal growth and reflections on past behaviors.
“Have there been any other changes since we last spoke?”
Gratitude for the Past
44:33 to 45:54
Brandon expresses gratitude for insights gained from a past episode.
“Does the Brandon of today wear underwear?”
Closing Remarks and Future Updates
45:54 to 46:30
The hosts discuss the future of the podcast and engage with listeners.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:06Pushkin.
0:11Hello. Hello. Welcome to the studio. Are you going to tell people who I am? Before that even, I was going to apologize for the smell of egg salad. I don't know why it smells like egg salad in here. It's not like I was eating an egg salad sandwich or anything. But what's those little pieces of yolk that are stuck all over your beard? Nothing. That's total circumstantial evidence. You can't hang someone for circumstantial evidence. I did see Malcolm Gladwell exiting the studio strutting around with an egg salad sandwich poking out of his fanny pack like he owned the joint. So there's some circumstantial evidence you might want to investigate, you intrepid reporter you.
0:57um so um hello stevie lane producer yes of the of the episode that we're about to listen to brandon yeah brandon i will say and he doesn't even know this he's not even gonna know this till he listens to this yeah one of my all-time favorite guests i think really um yeah i don't know he just had such a nice attitude and i feel like i feel like the two of you had a really lovely rapport.
1:25Stevie Lane:Yeah. And it was like an example of how sometimes a small question can have like a lot of emotional impact and can just really echo through the years. And, you know, with these updates, a lot of times I start off by saying that the subject of the episode has gone through a lot of changes. But in the case with Brandon, I will say that change seems like too slight a word. I I would say that Brandon has gone through some transformations. Hmm. So here's Brandon. Yeah, it's a fun one. It is a fun one. And after the episode, if you stick around, I'm going to catch up with Brandon and we're going to see who Brandon has become since we last spoke.
2:15Jackie. Hey, Johnny. I have some good news. Yep. Well, it seems like there's some interest in turning the heavyweight podcast into a TV show. So I was just calling to see who maybe, you know, who you want to play Jackie. I was thinking, you know, maybe Rita Marino. John, John, John, no one's going to watch your show, baby. What'd you just say? You heard me. Wait, I'm confused on two counts. A, that you would say something so cruel. Yeah. And then B, you would punctuate it with babe. You know, a lot of people believe in this project.
2:57Why would you laugh at that? A lot of people believe in this project.
3:12From Gimlet Media, I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and this is Heavyweight. Today's episode, Brandon.
3:26Right after the break.
3:35This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Hey, it's Jacob Goldstein from Business History. In our new series, American Genius, we tell the stories of three great writers who changed the way business works in America. Our first episode is about Benjamin Franklin, who, among many other things, was a best-selling business writer. Take a listen. He's writing this much later in his life. consciously creating this image of himself. And I do want to emphasize how unusual this model is at the time, this self-made man myth, because you don't want to be self-made. It's low class to be self-made. You know, this idea that we have today is the opposite, right?
4:22And it comes from Franklin. Today, there is the derisive term nepo-baity. Well, exactly right. And these days, if you are a billionaire, you had better have a Benjamin Franklin story about starting in a garage, coming up with the idea from nothing. And here is Benjamin Franklin inventing it right before our eyes. This has been brought to you by Odoo. To listen to more of our American Genius series, listen to business history. New episodes release every Wednesday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
4:53Stevie Lane:What's the one thing you've never told anyone? People just like you tell all in a podcast called The Secret Room. If you're a true story fan who can't get enough of people's most intimate dreams, desires, and regrets, check out the podcast The Secret Room. Stories can be tragic, like witnessing the murder of a lover, or hilarious, like hearing the nocturnal adventures of a sleepwalker, or heartwarming, like the woman who found a whole new family in a most unexpected place with a DNA kit. Hear Mila's deathbed confession that her daughter's absent father is a movie star, or about Jen's secret love affair with a man on death row, or how Joey falls in erotic love with inanimate objects.
5:38Stevie Lane:The podcast has been lauded by People, the BBC, BuzzFeed, Elle magazine, and Apple. People all around you carry the most amazing secrets, and you're invited to The Secret Room for a front row seat to stories that may jar and amaze you. Find The Secret Room, a podcast about the stories no one ever tells, anywhere you get your podcasts.
6:05Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on. This is Brandon. He's 33 years old and wearing a suit and string tie. His wife, Megan, is in a sundress. And together, they're about to enter the new Palestine High School prom. We'll mosey on up there then.
6:29Megan is the school's art teacher, but tonight she's chaperoning with Brandon as her date. She introduces him to the other teachers. Hi, Brandon. Hi, everybody. Hi. What a pleasure. At a certain point, they're interrupted by the announcement of prom king and queen. Hey, hey, in-pigure students, we're going to announce the prom king and queen.
6:57While Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with her colleagues, Brandon wanders off and observes the kids. Some are dancing, some are lined up for the photo booth. There are kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves. But then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset, those aimless kids wandering along the margins alone. They remind Brandon of himself when he was a teenager and his own prom. Brandon thinks about his prom a lot and the improbable path that led him to it, which began when he was just a little kid. Through middle school and junior high, I had a lot of bullying problems.
7:41I was kind of an easy target. There were a number of things that made him one. First, I'm like still a big guy now, but I was at my biggest in high school. Heaviest. Second, Brandon tried too hard to fit in. Like the time he shaved a Nike swoosh into the back of his head. I just thought like sports, that's cool. So it made your head look like a running shoe. Exactly. Yeah, I sat in front of this kid named Cyril, and he said it looked like a hockey stick. And that was enough that everyone was like, that's a hockey stick, that is not a Nike swoosh. Finally, Brandon was a coda, a child of deaf adults.
8:22His family attended a deaf church and spent a lot of time in the deaf community. He says he was brought up with different social norms. Like, volume? Like, volume is not a concern around deaf people in a deaf environment. And then, of course, it is around hearing people. So what does that mean? Like, any examples? Yeah, like school, where it's like time to be quiet. I was just constantly talking to myself or just vocalizing my thoughts, you know. Then, in middle school, Brandon's parents divorced. There was less space for him, less attention paid to him. He drew inward. I think I wanted to put off a harder, like, you can't hurt me exterior than I really had on the inside.
9:10So wearing Hot Topic clothes, spiky things, black clothes, and trying to just, like, keep your hoodie on and get through the day. And for the most part, Brandon succeeded in going unnoticed. until the spring of his senior year. Brandon was sitting at the back of a classroom during a free period, eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room. Some classmates were talking about prom, and among the group was a girl named Allie. She was going on about what a great night it was going to be, how excited she was. She had, like, long blonde hair with highlights, big features, like, big eyes. She had a big smile.
9:51Yeah, like, when she smiled, she looked really happy. And I think she kind of pulled me into the conversation by directing some of those questions at me. Like, are you going to prom? Who are you going to prom with? Brandon had no intention of going. He hadn't a girlfriend or any prospects for a date. And he was confused about why Allie was talking to him. Brandon says they'd barely ever spoken. They were from totally different social worlds. Allie was in student government. She was popular and beautiful. She was just really well put together, clean. And you? No, that's not a word I'd use to describe myself in high school.
10:32I mean, like, I would, like, smell my clothes before I put them on in the morning. You know what I mean? Like, I got dressed from the floor in my bedroom. You know what I mean? Yeah. And yet, Allie kept throwing questions at him. Why wasn't he going? If he did go, who would he take? Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she'd turn back to her friends and leave them alone. But instead, she rose from her seat and began striding towards him. Inside, I was like, like inflamed. Do you know what I mean? Like my heart, my heart rate was rising. With each question, Allie moved closer and closer until she was sitting at the desk in front of him, facing him.
11:14Then she did something that still flummoxes Brandon 15 years later. She just kind of outright said, take me to prom. Like, go to prom, take me. Let's go together.
11:29I immediately had questions. Questions like, why? Why me? What's going on? I guess I was skeptical this was some kind of trick, you know? Why would you be asking me this other than to set me up for a punchline or something like that? But no punchline really came. So I just agreed. On the big night, Brandon met up with Allie and her friends for a pre-dance dinner at her friend Jen's house. He was in the fancier part of town. Brandon showed up wearing his rented suit with a corsage and a bright blue necktie that matched Allie's dress. Before leaving to the dance, everyone lined up for a group picture.
12:09Did you, like, just feel like saying, why the heck am I here? Like, what happened? Was this a mistake? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would have loved an answer to that question, but I would never have thought, couldn't fathom saying it, you know. Do you still have that prom photo that you guys took? No, to be honest, I'm not even sure I ever got it. So I don't think I ever even saw that picture. Hmm. What do you think you would see in that photo? I don't know. I mean, just imagining it makes me laugh. Yeah, why? It would be a line of beautiful high schoolers and me there. It just feels like if your eyes set on me for a little too long, that maybe you'd be able to see that I didn't fit in.
12:58Allie and her friends looked like the girls in those movies about prom. And those girls always had guys who gave them the time of their lives. For Brandon, a sense of duty kicked in. It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like, this is going to be a big deal in Allie's life forever, and I have a big responsibility as her date to make sure that I live up to this position. I was really, really nervous. Did you guys, did you and Allie slow dance? I'm pretty sure. I feel like when I ask these questions, I feel like Hannibal Lecter. Yeah. Like I'm asking these questions from a straitjacket in a cell.
13:38Did you slow dance? Did you slow dance? I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking like, it's funny that in TV shows and in movies, this is such a big deal, but it's just standing. Like you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah. Like that's not hard. Like I was in like a hip hop dance crew and youth group, you know, that was hard. Wait, you were in a, sorry, repeat that. You were in a hip hop dance youth group, what? Yeah. So the church I went to was just like, there were a lot of performances and hip hop dance that happened. Did you ever at any point break out any of your Christian youth group hip hop moves on the dance floor?
14:21Did you do anything like on the floor, like where you spin on your back? Or you didn't want to ruin the rental? You wanted to get your deposit?
14:35At the prom, Brandon popped for the Lord and locked for the Lord. He made Allie's friends laugh. And it was right there on the dance floor, the place one might expect a high school boy to feel the most self-conscious, that Brandon felt most at ease. He was a part of a group, of a group. It kind of felt like a resolution of what all of grade school was like for me. I never felt safe enough to bring my true self into that space. But dancing around at prom with your peers is one of the most vulnerable things you can do. And it came out on the other end of it okay.
15:15At the end of the prom, Allie and all her friends headed to one of their classmates' houses for the after party. But having never been to a house party, Brandon decided not to go. Do you remember saying goodbye to Allie? No. And then what happened after that? Do you recall speaking with her, seeing her in school after that night? I had to have because we both went back to school, but I don't have any specific memories of talking to her again. Prom is supposed to stay with you for the rest of your life, and for Brandon, it has. But eclipsing the dancing, the music, the last night out with his peers is a lingering question.
15:55Which was like, why me out of all the people that you could be going with? Maybe it was one of those situations where all of these people out there are thinking, well, Allie's taken. She's totally going to prom with somebody already. I'll have to ask somebody else, you know, and then leaves her without a prom date. If that was what was going on, maybe she just had a breakup. Maybe I was part of a charity case. So you want to ask her why? Why did she pick you? Yeah, exactly. I want to know that. Yeah, without her, I wouldn't have gone to prom. It would have just been another thing on my list of things I regret from high school, you know.
16:36But it's not on that list. It's on the shorter list of things that I feel went okay. Yeah, I'd like to thank her. I'm just nervous. Which is why Brandon has reached out to me. If you get nervous, I mean, I can always jump in. Sure. I've just assumed I'm going to be coming along to chaperone. After the break, I chaperone Brandon back to high school.
17:33Stevie Lane:The End Juggling it all can be tough, and many worry they're wasting the days of sunshine. Kalila Holt. I love summer, but I do think there is a real FOMO of like, am I doing the best possible thing? Yeah. Sometimes I just got to remind myself to open up the window, put on a bathing suit while I'm working, even if I'm not going to the pool. Just sit around your house. Just for fun, you know? You know, I encourage everyone to have the best summer that you can. And sometimes that begins with knowing your own needs. Looking inward before you can go outward. And therapy can help with that. With over 30 ,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally, with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews.
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20:20Stevie Lane:What's the one thing you've never told anyone? People just like you tell all in a podcast called The Secret Room. If you're a true story fan who can't get enough of people's most intimate dreams, desires, and regrets, check out the podcast The Secret Room. Stories can be tragic, like witnessing the murder of a lover. Or hilarious, like hearing the nocturnal adventures of a sleepwalker. Or heartwarming, like the woman who found a whole new family in a most unexpected place with a DNA kit. Hear Mila's deathbed confession that her daughter's absent father is a movie star. Or about Jen's secret love affair with a man on death row.
21:02Stevie Lane:Or how Joey falls in erotic love with inanimate objects. The podcast has been lauded by People, the BBC, BuzzFeed, Elle magazine, and Apple. People all around you carry the most amazing secrets, and you're invited to The Secret Room for a front-row seat to stories that may jar and amaze you. Find The Secret Room, a podcast about the stories no one ever tells, anywhere you get your podcasts. Before Brandon can ask Ali the question that's been on his mind since senior year, we first need to track her down. Her last name is Schmutz. I'm just making that up. Brandon's part of a Facebook group for his high school graduating class, and Ali is a member of the group as well.
21:50Does that mean that you can have a better chance of messaging her through that group? I mean, like, if I were going to use the group, it would be making a post for my whole graduating class to say. Might as well go big. Like, say, hey, I'm just going to put this out there to everybody. Yeah, if you're not Allie, please don't read this. But Allie, I just want to say, hey, hit me up. Here are my digits. Everybody else just lose this number. Maybe Facebook friend her. I could do that. Yeah, I'd have to change my name on Facebook. My name hasn't been my real name for a long time. What's the name that you operate under?
22:30Oaktree. Just Oaktree? Just Oaktree. I can't even find you as Brandon. I'd have to look up Oaktree? That's right. I was kind of playing with what kinds of words it lets me have as a name. Can you change your name from Oaktree to Brandon? Probably a good idea. Then you don't have to start with a whole rigmarole about how, like, my name's not really Oaktree. This is Brandon, by the way. You remember from high school? And so the mighty Oaktree sheds his leaves and his name. And the mighty Brandon sends Allie a friend request.
23:09A week later, Brandon texts with an update. Allie has accepted his friendship. Now he just needs to send her a message. Okay, so you've crafted something already? Yeah. Could you read it? Sure, yeah. Hi, Allie. Good so far? Good. Casual? Okay, cool. Go ahead. Yeah. Hi, Allie. Maybe you'll remember me. We were prom dates our senior year. As Brandon reads me his draft, I focus my keen podcast producer's ear. By my recollection, it was your idea for us to go to prom together. Now, let me hit pause there. Yeah. Like the way that you're underlining your idea, you're not actually underlining that, though.
23:54I did italicize it. It was your idea for us to go to prom together. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, it sounds accusatory out loud. So maybe we'll de-italicize that part. Okay, keep going. Brandon tells Ali that he still thinks about their prom. He says he wants to talk to her about it. Would she be up for that? Okay, okay. Let's take a look at this here. Okay, so maybe you'll remember. As Brandon and I pour over the message, a worry suddenly pops into my head. I wonder if there's a way to work in the fact that you're married, you know? How about just, I'm married, but I'll just start with it.
Read the full transcript
24:33Hey, listen, I'm taking... Speaking as a married man, me and my wife were wondering, that is, my wife and I, we were wondering the other night after making love. Yeah.
24:47You seem to be doing good work, and I hope you're well. All the best. Once we've crafted the perfect message, Brandon readies himself to hit send. Should I go ahead and do it? Yeah, let's do it. Go ahead. Hit send. Enter. Hit sent. Congratulations. Thank you.
25:09A week later, Allie writes back. She's willing to talk. So that's good. It's a positive response.
25:20Look at you. You're giddy. You're giddy with expectation. Yeah. Can you tell? Because I keep wiping my face and touching my eyes. Would it be fun to do it on a video call? Sure. Sure. Yeah. Do you still have the suit that you wore to your prom? I'll be like, I never took it off.
25:46Any things that you want me to bring up, just kind of like conversationally, awards, or any upcoming projects that you want to promote? No, keep it organic, whatever. Cool, cool. I can keep it organic. Cool.
26:13Stevie Lane:What's the one thing you've never told anyone? People just like you tell all in a podcast called The Secret Room. If you're a true story fan who can't get enough of people's most intimate dreams, desires, and regrets, check out the podcast, The Secret Room. Stories can be tragic, like witnessing the murder of a lover, or hilarious, like hearing the nocturnal adventures of a sleepwalker, or heartwarming, like the woman who found a whole new family in a most unexpected place with a DNA kit. Hear Mila's deathbed confession that her daughter's absent father is a movie star. Or about Jen's secret love affair with a man on death row.
26:54Stevie Lane:Or how Joey falls in erotic love with inanimate objects. The podcast has been lauded by People, the BBC, BuzzFeed, Elle magazine, and Apple. People all around you carry the most amazing secrets and you're invited to the secret room for a front row seat to stories that may jar and amaze you. Find The Secret Room, a podcast about the stories no one ever tells, anywhere you get your podcasts. Hello. Hello. I'm getting a little bit of static on your end. Yeah, hello. Better? Yeah. On the day of the video call with Allie, Brandon and I get on early and wait. It feels like I'm getting back into the psyche of my high school self.
27:40like I'm... Hi. Hi, Allie. Hi. How are you? Good. Allie smiles a big smile full of big white teeth. She's wearing a blue pattern blouse that matches the blue of her nails. I'll just tell you what I've seen on your profile. You live in Carmel and you have a baby? I have two daughters, a three-year-old and a two-year-old. Awesome. They're right here on my wall. Brandon and Allie catch up. The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise a family. It's recruiting. But there's like a sales element. And then, of course, the grandparents are here. Yeah, I figured that was part of it, being close to family.
28:16It's a huge resource. They're always willing to help. Brandon's question hasn't gotten any easier to ask since high school. In fact, it's gotten harder. After a pause of a few minutes or even a few days, one can feign casualness. By the way, why'd you choose me? But to ask after 15 years, there's no way to buy the way your way through it. But eventually... So can I ask you some questions? Absolutely. I guess, first, what are your memories of me in high school? Yeah, so I was trying to think of this. Did we ever have any classes together? Probably not. Yeah, so we met senior year, right? I think so.
29:03Allie doesn't remember much. But one thing she does remember is that day in the back of the classroom. We were talking about prom, you know, as seniors do. And I think you were like not into going to prom, right? You're like, no, I'm not going to go. Yeah, I remember like you had to really spell it out. You were like, are you going to prom? You're not. Okay, like if you were, would you be going with someone? No, okay. And then eventually you were like, you and me can go to prom. Like, why don't we go to prom? That's funny. And then Brandon asks this question, sort of. Like, at any point, did you consider having someone else as a date?
29:44Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself. So I don't have any memories of thinking, like, I'm going to ask Brandon. And then if that doesn't work, I'm going to ask so-and-so. They're just kind of like, I'm going to ask Brandon. Hmm. That is surprising. I guess because I thought that it was spur of the moment, like your friends were hearing this for the first time, too. No, no. I was very obsessed with my friends, so I'm sure that I ran it by them. So you passed the friend test.
30:15Brandon grows quiet. It wasn't a prank. It wasn't pity. Allie planned to ask him. What's more, she wasn't going to take no for an answer. I do remember, like, you did say no. I remember you saying no, and I'm like, oh, yeah. Give him a day. I'm going to make him go. He's going to go with me.
30:36But yeah, you were just surprised by the fact that I asked you. I mean, yeah, definitely.
30:48Allie pauses, trying to find the right words. You made me laugh a lot. And I remember that you were just, you know, fun to be around and goofy. And you smiled at me a lot. I remember that, you know. I liked being around you. And if I made a joke, you would laugh at it. It made me feel like I was funny, which is a great quality.
31:16You got me a corsage. I remember that. I remember not expecting you to get me a corsage. I'm thinking that was really nice. I do remember that. Isn't that silly? I don't remember a lot, but I remember that. so you know i'm gonna be a little blunt here because uh sure was there anything else to it like what was there an element of something romantic so we probably flirted right but i i don't know i mean friendship is really just the main the main feeling that i can recall um I'm not saying that there wasn't, you know, I mean, I don't know. You're a teenager. You're feeling all kinds of things. I'm sure there were moments where I was like, oh, is this a thing?
32:04You know, is this turning into this? Yeah. That I think that I would have found that really hard to believe as a kid, you know, that would have gone against the narrative of school and what people thought of me that I had. I don't know. I guess to some extent, I knew that we were, I want to be honest, I knew that some people were surprised by the fact that we were going together, right? I do remember one time when I told some dude in my physics class, I can't remember, that I was going with Brandon and they're like, wait, what? And I was like, yeah. And they're like, that's weird. And I'm like, you're weird.
32:48While Brandon remembers himself as a misfit, Allie remembers someone who was different than a lot of the other guys in high school. Brandon made wry jokes. He was sweet and self-deprecating. She remembers things that Brandon doesn't. She says there was one time Brandon did a whole monologue about how he found it hard to drive because of his fear of hitting birds. In other words, Allie asked him to prom for the one reason Brandon never considered. She just wanted to go with him. Did you have a good time at prom? Because I really wanted that for you. I spent a lot of time thinking like, that's my role.
33:23I'm the date. Here I go. You know? Yeah. Allie grows thoughtful. I guess I didn't even think that because I mean, I talked you into it, right? So then here you are kind of not stuck, but like, yeah, feeling like you wanted to make it special for me because I was the one that was all about it. yeah, I guess I never even thought about that. I just think, Brandon, you're just so much more thoughtful, you know, just thoughtful about the whole experience. And I do want to thank you because that's so nice that you were thinking it was your duty to try to make sure I had the prom I wanted to have. Yeah.
34:05I honestly didn't even expect to be thanked from you for anything. I feel like I have to thank you because there's something really simple and superficial about this, but it felt really real that I finished high school as a person who went to prom. I got to go, I got to have a fun time and forget the misfit feelings I was having. That's awesome. That's so awesome to hear you say that. That's really nice.
34:43My life started to really just like blossom and grow, I guess from like the moment high school was over. And I guess I can't say for certain what that part of my life would have looked like had I not had the prom experience, but I can't say it was totally irrelevant. Was it out of that and kind of like into that period that you ended up meeting your wife, Megan? Yeah, it was like that phase of life when Megan and I met. Her dress is so cute. She looks beautiful. This is Megan, Brandon's wife, looking at a photo of Allie from prom night. She looks amazing. She looks great. After getting off the video call, Allie sent the group photo from prom.
35:26Megan studies it while seated beside Brandon. It's also, like, so cute to see you flanked by these, like, I mean, I'm sorry they're in high school. I don't really feel like I should be calling them hot babes, but you know what I mean, like, from the high school perspective. You lucky, lucky man. But as Brandon looks at the photo, I imagine it isn't his date or the other kids that he's focused on, so much as he's focused on the big guy in the middle and all the baggage that guy was carrying. There's a lot of weird stuff about my weight and growing up, like dieting and my mom putting me on a scale.
36:00And it was like, you're over this line, you know, you're unattractive. And what does it make you feel like, Megan, to hear that? It makes me feel very protective, for sure. I think if we don't, we rarely really get into squabbles, but if ever we do, what really disarms me is like thinking about that, like little, like young Brandon. I feel like that happened not even that long ago. Do you remember we were like standing at the kitchen and I started crying? And I was just like, I had been so resentful and mad at you for a minute. And then I just was imagining you being a little kid and having adults in his life not really tend to the difficulties of that as well as they should have.
36:45I think about him just having to navigate those insecurities alone.
36:54But Brandon no longer has to navigate them alone. A few weeks ago, before chaperoning the prom with Megan, Brandon went to the tailor. He wanted to wear his wedding suit and needed her to let it out. She was like down on her knees, like looking at it, pulling the pants in different ways, and then said, okay, go ahead and open the pants up so I can see how much we can let out. And I don't know why, but I wasn't wearing underwear. I didn't wear underwear to the tailor. I guess I didn't think that she was going to be asking that. so yeah she asked me to open the pants and I was like right now and she was like yep go ahead and I just said I can't do that right now if you know what I mean wow I know and I don't think I'm honestly not sure if she knew what I meant but she dropped it and said, okay, I think we'll just let it out all the way, and that'll probably be enough.
38:02It was awful. It was awful. Brandon was spiraling. So as soon as he left, he sent Megan a text at school, asking her to call him. When she called me, I was fixing a flat. I got a flat tire on the way home. It was just like a shitty afternoon. So I was fixing a flat and telling her what it was like at the tailor. And then we hung up, and then she texted me later and just said, like, I love you and I love the way your body looks.
38:34And I don't think it's weird that you didn't wear underwear. I don't wear underwear either. It was just like a, you know what I mean? She was supportive. That fixed it almost immediately for me. Hmm. Well, I taught him to go commando, so I feel partially responsible.
38:58What did you make of Brandon's question that he's had through the years? Why did Allie invite him to the prom in the first place? It didn't have to be a mystery. It makes perfect sense to me. But somebody who looks like Allie could like the person who she's standing next to? You.
39:22Brandon says the biggest difference between his two proms was that with Megan, he didn't spend the whole night wondering why the person by his side had chosen him. He's just happy she did. I was comfortable the whole time. How could you not be comfortable? I mean, you weren't wearing underpants. The ultimate comfort.
39:50Thank you.
40:21Now that the furniture's returning to its goodwill home Now that the last month's rent is scheming with the damaged deposit Take this moment to decide If we meant it, if we tried Or felt around for far too long From things that accidentally touch Brandon? Hey! Hello! Hi! I can't believe it's been, um, over four years? Last time I spoke to you, you were speaking to me from, uh, what did you call it? Your man cave? Your... I didn't remember telling you, but it was called the Chill Zone. The Chill Zone, that's right. It's right there. Wait, so you're not in the Chill Zone? No, I'm in the office. Okay, because the Chill Zone is for chilling.
41:22It's not for recording. Well, it's changing its purpose. Now it's for the bedtime routine with the new baby. Boy, you really buried the lead on that one. So you have a baby. Yeah, we have a baby. Wow. Yeah, it's so exciting. She's growing and learning so fast. She's noticing things. Is she like pulling on your mustache? She hasn't found my mustache in that way yet. But she's really into containers, just putting containers in containers, taking something out of a container, putting in a different one. And she can do that for like an hour. And I can just sit there and watch her and try not to help if she's trying to put something too big in too small a container, you know.
42:04I'm just watching her. Yeah. It's so exciting. Wonderful. That's so nice to hear. Well, that's the headline. Have there been any other changes since we last spoke? Hmm. I actually listened to the Brandon episode of Heavyweight yesterday, just to have it be fresh in my mind. Yeah, and what was that like? It's fun. I feel like when I was first hearing it, I cringe, and I cringed a lot less yesterday. Well, why do you think that is? Time, I think. I mean, I feel a lot different than I did four years ago. How and what ways? about a year before robin was born meg and i started going to this um meeting it's like we'd get together with these people and do something called qigong which is like breathing and moving it's kind of like tai chi but kind of exercisey and then there's a meditation portion and um there's this concept called no pretending we would be like are we pretending with ourselves in our minds?
43:06Do we pretend when we talk to other people? And I realized that I do pretend to other people thinking about how I want to come across and drawing awareness to that helped me to do it less. Were there certain things that you feel like were that you were pretending at? I'm trying to think of a good way to explain that. Oh, you know, one day I realized I was like, if I'm walking up to the door of a gas station, we're going into the gas station, and there's a stranger walking in at the same time, and it seems like we might arrive at more or less the same time, I was fast to jump out of the way. You know, you first, you first.
43:41And I don't do that sort of thing as much. You feel less apologetic for just being around? Existing. Yeah. Yeah. Less about finding a place where I can fit to disturb other people as little as possible, and more now feeling like I'm actually here. I'm not just smoke. I exist here and I'm moving around and I can do and say what I want and other people will react however they will react. And that doesn't mean I should have said or done something different. Yeah. So I feel more confident, more, I guess, just in tune with what I actually think and what I'm actually feeling. And I feel like a much different person than I did four years ago.
44:31In a good way. Yeah. Do you think the Brandon of today would have pursued that story? Yeah, I do think so. Yeah. Yeah. Does the Brandon of today wear underwear? I've got a couple pairs for special occasions Is this a special occasion? No, it's not It isn't? No Okay No You have a 20-year high school reunion coming up? This is the year for my 20th reunion, yeah, if it's happening Are you going to go? I would love to go Have you been in touch with Allie? No, I have not But I wondered if I might see her at this reunion And, you know, I wanted to say before we go, when I was listening to the episode yesterday, I felt grateful.
45:15It brought me kind of an outside perspective on that period of my life, which I wouldn't have had without that, or, you know, I don't think I would have reached out to Allie on my own. And it was a good lesson to learn that despite what I was going through as a teenager, that I was still me. That's the big takeaway I had from listening to it. But, you know, when she said, you were sweet and you smiled at me and you laughed at my jokes, that's a good quality. That's some of the things I remember her saying from when I listened. But I don't know how that hit me at the time. I can't remember. But listening to it now, I thought, that sounds like me.
45:50The real me was still there. It was still coming out. Yeah. So, thank you. well thank you thank you for for saying that and for lending yourself to it so wholeheartedly uh will you say hi to to meg for me i will brandon it was really nice to see you thank you have a good day you too you too enjoy your baby i will i will
46:29Stevie Lane:Thanks to everyone who originally put this episode together. We'll be back with another update in two weeks time. And if you want, you can sign up for our free newsletter. It's absolutely free and it's available at patreon.com slash heavyweight. Stevie. Yeah. What do we have in store in the newsletter? We got some recommendations, things that we've liked and there's hyperlinks. Yes, parenthetically. I don't know that I've been hyperlinking properly in the newsletter. Like you can actually like hyperlink from a word, right? Yeah. But I put the full URL. I'm old school. That's all right. It's only recently that I've started pronouncing it URL.
47:12I used to just pronounce it as Earl. Do you know what URL stands for? Ooh. You really love our newsletter. URL, our newsletter. And speaking of, the URL for the newsletter is...
47:27Stevie Lane:It's at patreon.com slash heavyweight.
47:53Stevie Lane:Or hilarious, like hearing the nocturnal adventures of a sleepwalker. Or heartwarming, like the woman who found a whole new family in a most unexpected place with a DNA kit. Hear Mila's deathbed confession that her daughter's absent father is a movie star. Or about Jen's secret love affair with a man on death row. Or how Joey falls in erotic love with inanimate objects. The podcast has been lauded by People, the BBC, BuzzFeed, Elle magazine, and Apple. People all around you carry the most amazing secrets, and you're invited to The Secret Room for a front-row seat to stories that may jar and amaze you.
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From the publisher
Throughout high school, Brandon was a misfit. Then one day, out of the blue, one of the school’s prettiest, most popular girls asked him to prom. Fifteen years later, Brandon wants to know: why him?
Four years after the release of his episode, we check back in with Brandon to learn what's changed and get an update on his underwear situation.
You can sign up for our free newsletter at patreon.com/heavyweight
This episode was produced by Stevie Lane and Mohini Madgavkar. The senior producer is Kalila Holt. Special thanks to Emily Condon, Alex Blumberg, Sharon Mashihi, Mimi O’Donnell, Jessica Yung, and Jackie Cohen. The show was mixed by Bobby Lord. Music by Christine Fellows, John K Samson, Michael Hearst, the Jacobi Family Band, Podington Bear, and Bobby Lord. Our theme song is by The Weakerthans courtesy of Epitaph Records. Mixing on this update by Sarah Bruguiere, with production by Lisa Wang.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
