Espresso: Will Storr, The Status Game Author: Why Your Food & Drink Brand Is Ruining Your Identity?!

0:00how to separate your status and worth from your work. do you see what I mean? I don't know how to do that this book's maybe been thinking a lot I've been doing a lot of walks is my only identity this fucking podcast these deeper questions but how did you navigate that? Well I mean so I guess just sort of contextually to explain kind of how it works and how how being a human works and you know humans like every other animal are in we live in we live in a realm of pure survival where we are programmed to seek food and water and shelter and um defend ourselves when we're attacked and in this way we're like every other animal that's ever existed and then we're also like the plants we're not particularly special but what makes us special is that we also live in this story world.

1:01We live in a narrative world, a world in which we are not flesh and bud, but we're an identity. We're a concept that exists in our mind and in the minds of the people that we share our lives with. And that's our identity. And for human beings, your identity is pretty much everything. Once you've taken care of survival, our identity is the most valuable thing we own. identity is worth more than gold i mean our identity is worth more than life people kill themselves when their identity is destroyed people kill themselves when their identity is starved of the it's essential nutrients which is basically connection to other people and status in the world so so you know especially in this individualist neoliberal western environment which is sort of based a lot around success based status part of your identity is always going to be what you do for a living if you if you if you do something for a living and especially if it's something you care about if it's something that you get status from it is going to be a component part of your identity uh which of course you know as you kind of hint towards it puts you at a risk because if the if your podcast something goes wrong with it or if you know like if it stops being successful then you stop being successful as a person and and and that's just a reality you know that that that that's just how your identity works you know the more connection and status that your job provides you the more centrally it is to your identity and i think the way to protect yourself from that is to play multiple status games so so to have more than one important source of status in your life now you know you're a young man at your age i don't i don't know if i would even recommend that too strongly because i think in your 20s and 30s you you know you're building the rest of your life you know if you if you nail it in your 20s and 30s your 40s and 50s and 60s are going to be much easier um because because you'll have because by the time you're 40 you'll you'll be someone in the world um you know even more than you are now so so so i would say that you're you're probably doing it all right at the moment you know you've got a successful podcast you're making a success of it you're learning how to how to do something so but but i think is when you when you hit 40 and 50 that's when you need to start hedging you need to start playing you know different status games so that would be my recommendation you need to have sort of multiple parts of your identity rather than just one quick one guys espresso's got a brand new sponsor unleashed unleashes inventory management software that talks directly to your finance and econ software we use unleashed daily islands i bloody love it we've got our admin time in half saving approximately 30k a year why use it save money save headaches save stress get granular clarity on your margins know where your stock is, don't miss availability look, your favourite brands literally use Unleashed as their backbone, Candy Kiddens Tiny Rebel, Trip, always religiously look, there's a link in the show notes please feel free to book a call with Josh and his wonderful sales team at Unleashed they're amazing, even nothing comes of it and even better news, you'll get your first month free if you reference Hungry thank you so yeah, because we talked about you were saying like a big part of my status and identity is is will store the writer what are some of the other games you've put in place to kind of detach uh or put all your eggs in the will store writer basket if that makes sense the big one is i joined the samaritans so so like i volunteer for the samaritans now you know the the charity the the crisis hotline so people who phone up when they're in distress they're often suicidal so so um so that that's the major thing i did i realized that that you know i'm just playing these success games and there's no you know another the other big way that humans humans earn status with success and competence but also with virtue with with offering something um virtuous to the world so i thought i should try and play a virtue game too so i joined the samaritans a couple of years ago um and yeah so so that's so that's now become another part of my identity that's that's something you know when i'm at the samaritans i'm not a writer i don't feel like a writer i feel like a different version of me so so that's that's something else that i do which is which is which has now become a big part of my life i mean i have to you have to do sort of four hours a week minimum at the samaritans so it's a so it's a big investment of time is there anything else you anything else you do because i'm just thinking people listening to this who basically see their brand or their business as them to the to the point where as we said it becomes corruptive or unhealthy that ambition is there anything else you've implemented well i think the other thing the other important thing is is connection i mean you know i've written a whole book about status but but equally important is that we feel connected to other people and actually that that's surprisingly what i've found also with with samaritans when you're on a call with somebody that there are lots of strict rules in place you're not allowed to talk about yourself they call it self-disclosure you know you're there for the call and not for you um so So you'll have to send your name if you want to, but that's about it.

6:12But even despite that, I find that you have these extremely profound conversations with people. You know, you're there by their side, really going into their kind of story world, some of the worst points in their life. And before I joined the Samaritans, despite the fact I'm happily married, you know, I felt quite lonely. You know, I didn't have much of a social life and I don't feel lonely anymore. You know, when I when I when I've had a shift, I feel connected. I feel connected into the human world in some sort of profound and important way. So that's one thing. I mean, another thing which is a bit more facile is I've joined CrossFit.

6:51So, you know, you know, and again, I found that is, you know, that was partly just for vanity because, you know, when you get to my age, you start getting a middle age spread and it's just horrifying. I didn't want that. But again, I found that the unexpected gift of CrossFit. And actually, the thing that keeps me going there is that I really enjoy the communal aspect of it, just sort of being there and going through almost like a shift of a kitchen, going through hell together. It has an incredibly kind of bonding effect. Yeah, I think it's what I love what you said there is there can be I think I don't know what I've listened to a lot of your podcast, mate.

7:29but there's one when you said there's almost infinite status games which is really reassuring for type a neurotic hyper ambitious people is you can create either something deep and meaningful i.e the samaritans or something kind of which i still think is pretty profound as the uh is the crossfit but any kind of connection i think uh you know a lot of people now are kind of running joining these running clubs there's there are these other games you can play that isn't your your main thing you talked about the mission of the mission of chefs get involved with stupid running and that they become super athletic and do 18 marathons and that's something it's something that they're so competitive that they have to thank you so much for listening to that espresso i hope you enjoyed your morning coffee and are ready for the day let's be having your boy and please do subscribe, follow the podcast, share this espresso on WhatsApp if you liked it and also there's a link to our newsletter in the show description.

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