Dolph Lundgren: Close to self-destruction before therapy | Forward Progress

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0:44This week, Dolph Lundgren.

0:49There seems to be very clear alignment with when therapy started and when you started becoming more open in media conversations. Yeah, that's true. I started therapy in 2012, and it really started working like 2014 in there somewhere. And, yeah, I mean, all these things I wanted to do, for instance, professionally that I wanted to do before, but it wouldn't work out, started happening, you know, better film roles and so forth. And also, you know, I was very self-destructive when I was younger. I... That means what? Well, it's something called escape behavior. Like for instance, if you're a young kid in Sweden and your dad can come into your room and beat you up anytime he wants to and you can't do anything about it, you can't run away, you can't fight back, and you're called freeze, you freeze, your whole emotions get locked inside you and you try to escape it by alcohol is a good way.

1:49I mean, organized violence is good too, like boxing, martial arts, and that's why I became I'm a fighter and that's why I try to get it out through acting as well. And also drinking too much and kind of abusing my own body. And a lot of that disappeared after I did therapy. The tools that therapy taught you would be what? To be honest with yourself and not to be afraid of examining the dark areas and the pain inside. Because there's a lot of strength in that. Everybody has problems. Everybody has a tough childhood in their own way. I just think if you don't work on yourself, then the older you get, the more it rules your life and the more you become a slave to it.

2:47It takes over and you end up doing things you don't really want to do but you have no choice what do you think spin your single lowest point and how you got through it the single lowest point was probably when i was married i lived in spain my wife didn't want to move back to la i had retired 30 years too early i retired when i was like 35 moved to spain

3:18and financially I wasn't doing well. I wasn't getting the movies anymore because I was too far away and I had to get divorced and I didn't, and I hadn't dealt with the PTSD, I hadn't dealt with my trauma and I was just basically, yeah, I was kind of suicidal and self-destructive and drinking and, you know, having affairs and just being a really bad husband and a really bad dad, you know. I mean, that was a low point in my life. I didn't have the tools to deal with it. I was just almost hoping that I wasn't going to wake up one day after one of these drinking bouts where I would just disappear for a couple of days from my home, and my kids didn't know where I was, and friends are looking for me.

4:11Yeah. Did you ever try taking your own life? Not in the way, you know, like I want to do it because I would have probably succeeded, but because I'm kind of a result-oriented guy. But no, I think I tried to sort of, I was very close, I think, by just, you know, drinking and not taking care of myself. How bad did that get? When it got bad, we'd just end up with some woman who I never met or can't remember anything about, you know, and just be gone with her for, like, maybe a day or two. Just drop my kids up to school and then just go on a bender for a couple of days. to a point where some of my friends would find me finally and pull me out of bed.

5:09And I would stay at their house until I was sober and well enough to go home to my kids. After I did therapy, I went back and I apologized to my kids and my ex-wife too. What did you say? I just said, I'm really sorry for what I did. And I hope you can forgive me. you know, and they started crying immediately. Did they? Yeah.

5:37So I knew that it was good that I did it because they realized that their strong dad can also make mistakes. But the main thing is that you have to owe up to it. My wife started crying before even. I didn't even have to say at the centers. How has it been ever since? Well, it's been my kids. They're very good. They have been in therapy on and off when they have a problem. And they think it's completely normal. And I think it's great. And I've had some issues with one, especially with my younger daughter. And we've been in therapy together. I hear she's more like you. Yeah. We've been in therapy together.

6:28Greta. Greta, and it's perfect. And I love that, the fact that they think it's perfectly okay. The trauma and all of those things that fueled me, but they were also like a devil inside that I couldn't, I didn't know how to deal with it. And these things can end badly for a lot of people. I mean, people self-destruct in this business, and I wouldn't have been the first one. And I was very close. That's it for now. But if you're hungry for more in-depth with Graham Bensinger interviews, head over to youtube.com slash Graham Bensinger. You can dive into our deep library, which includes more than 2 ,000 clips spanning 12-plus years.

7:14Thanks again for listening.