Trump’s Toxic Convention, Canada Tariffs, MAGA Split on AI Data Centers: A Closer Look Out of Office

0:02Hey everybody, Seth Meyers here. Please join us for Closer Look Out of Office. It's a weekly podcast series where Sal Gentile, who writes A Closer Look, and I are going to chat about the stories we would have covered if we had shows. It's going to be a lot of fun or not. Let's all find out together. Hey, what's up, Sal? It's Closer Look Out of Office Proof of Life Episode 5? Episode 5, yes. We've switched the title card by now, I think, to Proof of Life and or Out of Office. Gotcha. And I'll just knock it out real quick. Yeah, real quick. There you go. If in case you're listening on audio, Seth just held up a whiteboard where he wrote a live person with an arrow pointing to him.

0:43Because a dead person would not be able to do that. Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Exactly, of course. Yeah. I mean, come on. The only thing that would be more impressive, of course, is if you held up a tiny little corner of a newspaper in the corner of the picture. With my thumb over the date. Yes. Which indicates, of course, as we all know, that you are capable of reading and understanding what's in the newspaper. Yeah. I do want to address a couple things. One, my light is a little, it's not as bright today. the reason is I'm naturally I do my podcast using natural light because there's a lamp behind me and I realize when that's on it like sort of backlights me and I look like AI slop Trump is Jesus so it's a little you are always for some reason also people should know right out of frame you're always holding your hands and with a glowing orb over a sick person over a sick person I do that, but it's always me holding my hands over a writer that I want to be doing better work.

1:50Sal, you made a long list of stuff, but I wanted to jump into something. Also, we should say, because of Labor Day weekend, we're recording this on Thursday, September 3rd. Yes, we had previously said we were trying to get on a schedule. We are immediately off that schedule because of the Labor Day weekend. We're working around that. but there's plenty we haven't got so much to talk about. Yes. There's so much to talk about. There's a, so here's the thing. Trump said a couple of days ago, I think now three days ago about resistance to data centers, which I've been wanting to bring up. Yes. Obviously all communities, it doesn't seem like there's any voting demographic that is behind building a data center in their town.

2:35Is that accurate? Yes. There's a large majority of people across various, even MAGA diehards. Even MAGA. Even Trump's base are opposed to AI guys. And until, I don't know what's going to change, right? Like, you know, the people who are sort of at the forefront of AI, like, if they were capable of running a charm offensive, despite the fact that they are absent of charm, it seems. Yes. As, you know, as sort of being people who can convince an electorate. Intentionally. Because most of the times they talk, it's about how we don't know what AI is going to do, but we're pretty confident it's going to take all the jobs.

3:12Anyway, can't wait to get started. Most of the time that they spend talking about it is advertising how awful it's going to be for you personally and for society. But there's nothing we can do to stop it now, so we should be prepared for it. And we'd like to put it in your town. And also, we don't want any government regulation of it. Yes. Anyway, there's a lot of reasons, I think, that are easy to track as to why there are headwinds in communities against the idea of building data centers. Donald Trump said in a post, the only reason the communities throughout the USA should not want data centers is if they want to end up being backwards and poor.

3:49So I saw somebody, and this happens often when a politician says something like this, and Donald Trump obviously says it more than anybody else, where they're like, if Democrats are smart, they'll just run this on a loop in campaign ads. yeah but it it wouldn't work like one i think it's a you know i i think there's a chance that donald trump will will pay a cost for saying this but the idea that there's any one thing he says that you can sort of hammer him on is impossible because it's not like obama's like uh clinging to religion and guns or oh you know romney's 47 or even like uh hillary's like basket of deplorables Like one of the reasons those things like popped out is they were unique.

4:32Yes. That's absolutely part of Trump's strategy is overwhelming us with the tonnage of awfulness, like the nonstop, relentless wave of obscenities and disparagement. Like we've forgotten all the horrific things he said about individual people. And he said, I don't think about Americans' financial situation. He said, I love the inflation. every time one of these things happens, that exact comment gets made, which is like, oh, they should just put this in a campaign commercial. But you're right, which is that he short circuits our brains by overwhelming us with, so it's impossible. It's like, you know, Waldo's not unique in a book that's all Waldo's.

5:18As we pointed out in our last episode, just in the last week, they've basically just been going on TV, calling people lazy and saying, we need you to live longer so you can work harder. As we have this great economy, we are accelerating away from the rest of the world. There are some malcontents who do not want to work. They want to pull everyone down with them. If we could just get the average American to feel so healthy, so with it, so vibrant, that they want to work just one extra year, that's worth$1 trillion to our GDP every year. That's their explicit policy. And it's a great example of the evolution of reactionary politics and Republican Party politics, which is like this core ideology has always been there.

6:05This idea that there are like makers and takers and that there are some people who are responsible for economic growth and there's other people who just benefit of it. But they used polite or tried to use polite language to mask it. Like Bush famously came up with something, a branding called compassionate conservatism. They constantly find rebranding. And now they're just nakedly out in the open, just on TV saying like, get your lazy ass to work, you loser. It is. It's basically like, oh, I'm sorry. You're I forgot you guys were poor dummies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. And you love it. You love being poor, stupid and poor.

6:46Trump also posted in that, I think it was the same post where he said, let data reign, which sounds like the villain from a 90s, like the net. It sounds like a villain from a 90s Sandra Bullock, like sci-fi movie. There was a very small window of screenwriting where a villainous thing to say was let data reign. And then by the time the movie came out, it already seemed like it was 100 years old. Yeah, when there was a brief period of time where just kind of the idea of computers was sinister. There's a chance there's like one of those like later Brosnan bonds where someone's like, it's all data now, James.

7:29The days of gold bars are over, James. It's all data. Data I have in this solitary USB. USB. It's time to let data rain, Bond. Yes, exactly. And meanwhile, laser from Watch shoots the USB out of his hand. My USB. A thing, by the way, that we still don't have. We do have artificial intelligence agents that can escape the sandbox on their own and attack other AI agents and hack other companies on their own and can plot how to get around human intervention. We still don't have a watch that can shoot a laser. I know. It's very disappointing. It sucks so much. I'm going to admit something about myself.

8:18A lot has been happening in AI this week about these agents. Agents run wild. Yes. Yeah. I've read so many articles that are like simplifying what's going on with the AI agents. And I'm lost a sentence into that. It's more confusing. Yeah. headlines that are like three civilizations were built in the last one like what you need it we need articles that are simplifying the simplifying the ai i still haven't had a kid explain minecraft to me in a way i can follow it like like what the amount that i'm like but why Why do you like it? Yes. But that is a main reason why people are so opposed to AI data centers in their communities because they're being told to expend all of these precious natural resources to expose themselves to all of these harms that are documented with AI data centers for a thing that nobody can really explain to them what it is.

9:22Right. Like at least electricity, you could say, if we put this pole over here, a bulb in your house will light up. It's also weird to build a coalition that is like based on conspiracies or is at least conspiracy friendly, right? Yes. And like even the Maha movement, right? You know, the fact that they would think that you can talk about all these negative things that technology are doing and then also be like, we're going to build a giant building that hums all day. there's just comes all day sucks up water but it's fine yeah it's fine that like i mean the the fact that you know there's nothing in there you need to worry about and by the way like i don't even right like i don't know i'm not a i don't know if the hum is bad but like i'm not surprised that there are going to be people who are like the hum's bad yes i mean we have a president who says the hum is bad except when it's windmills it's about wind yeah it's like yeah when it's about windmills, he says the hum causes cancer.

10:23If you have a windmill anywhere near your house, congratulations, your house just went down 75 % in value. And they say the noise causes cancer. You tell me that one, okay? But this hum, he's pro-hum. There's lots of, you know, there's lots of different hums people forget. And you can't judge a hum by the humming. You know, they say a hummingbird flaps its wings. 10 times a minute. You're telling people, we can't explain to you exactly what's going on in that building or what it does or why it's important. In fact, the only things that we can tell you about it are that it's almost certainly going to be bad for you personally for the economy.

11:07And but on the other hand, there will be a hum. It will slurp up water. The only thing they can add is like, and there's a little mouth on the side that opens sometimes, swallows a guy. once in a while. There's this weird thing where they're like, you know, and again, it's the constant, like, you know, it's like if, and again, I want somebody to explain it to me, right? Like if an AI center is in your town, like that means so many jobs and you're like, hold up. I thought your whole thing was, you took jobs away. Well, that's what, that's the other thing they've been saying is the oligarch class.

11:41Again, sorry to go on one of my rants about the oligarch class. I mean, I think people are expecting it now. But the thing they've basically explaining is like, yeah, we're going to get rid of basically everything, almost everything AI can do, except you guys can do like manual labor. Yeah. So they're like, yeah, those are the jobs. We'll create manual labor for you guys. You can go into construction, go to HVAC. Yeah. Lynn Nevekman, the secretary of education is talking about teaching kids HVAC in elementary schools. It is like we're opening, we're giving you a job to help us raise people eating monsters.

12:16because when they're babies they need they constantly need to be fed and they need to be rushed and then and they're like wait what what kind of what do they eat and they're like now as a as babies they eat like a soy protein and there's gonna be jobs for you in growing the soy you grow the soy somebody will shovel the manure someone will grow the soy Somebody will put it on a little spoon and feed the soy to the people eating monsters. Sorry, what are you calling them? There'll be jobs building the cages for later. Cages for them? Because the cages don't seem big enough for the monsters. Right, right.

12:57Right. Well, we briefly had some of them in a cage, and they figured out how to get out of it. These cages seem like people's size. We're repurposing the cages. Yeah. So, okay, you're asking a lot of questions. I guess you want to be poor and stupid. Let data reign. Let data reign. Just to kind of like pull it back to like a bunch of other stuff that we're going to talk about. The funniest thing to me about the AI data centers or one of the funniest thing that Trump wholeheartedly, full-throatedly endorsing AI data centers is that the Republican Party, his own advisors are telling Republican candidates don't talk about AI data centers.

13:34Right. Because it's hurting them in campaigns. There was this memo specifically about Ohio in particular, but it applies elsewhere, where they basically said it's hurting the Republican candidate in Ohio to be seen as pro-AI data center and Democrats are successfully using opposition to AI data centers. So they put out this memo that was like, don't seem pro-AI data center. Stop talking about it. They said to the AI companies, like, we have to figure out a way to not be so alienating to voters. And then Trump immediately, like the next day, came out. It was just like. If I were the mayor of a town or the governor of a state and I had a chance to get a big plant in, an AI plant or a data center, I would absolutely want it.

14:16You have to convince your community how great these things. You can't fight it. You have to go with it. So if I were a community, I would want the data center. They also either lie or don't know. I think it may be a combination of both, but certainly it's at least a large percentage lying. They are either lying or don't know about what AI data centers do or how they function, because the other day, the Commerce Secretary, Howard Lutnick, just straight up said something that is factually, provably untrue about AI data centers. Data centers don't use water. The data centers, this is propaganda. by our adversaries to try to slow us down.

14:59They use water. Yeah. Like, you can't say, like, they don't use evaporative cooling for their machines. Like, that is just the case. They absolutely need it for evaporative cooling. Like, that is 100 % something that water is used for at these giant AI data centers. And again, that's a term they use as opposed to what is the more likely term is the big people-eating machine slurps up water. Slurps up the water that people need. Slurps up the water that people need. It really is something out of Dr. Seussburg. So the one thing about the people-eating monster puppies is they do need a lot of water.

15:38You want them to be big and strong when it comes time for them to feed as adults. Yeah. Now, you don't want to be poor. Or stupid. Yeah, don't be stupid and poor. So let them have your water. Okay, I'll let them have my water. And get in there and shovel the manure that creates the soy that feeds them. Also, I did want to follow up. I was thinking about it because we were talking about how Lutnick basically wanted us all to give Trump the grace to have two full hobbies outside of being president. There are two things that he does for enjoyment. He plays golf on the weekend, and he builds. Also, I feel like at this point, Trump's social media usage is a third hobby.

16:17That's got to be. That's caught in count. His love of AI slop at this point has to be a third hobby. He posts AI slop more than I do whatever my first hobby would be. I have no idea. I have no idea what even. Yeah. Riding a bike. Hobby. Running. Running. If running is a hobby, I still run less than he posts. Your total distance running would still be shorter than the distance of AI data center usage required for the slop. that he posts nonstop. Like geese with his hair guarding Lake America. Yeah. Like islands blowing up. What? Never, he, never, never stop, never slopping. Is that what he? Slop star?

17:03Slop star, never stop, never slopping. That's the slogan for AI data centers. You got to slurp to slop. Don't stop the slurp because you got to slurp to slop. By the way, that sounds like, I just wanted to say that sounds like a tagline for, for like Ghostbusters for, what's his name? Yeah, for Slimer. For Slimer. Sounds like a tagline for Slimer. Like a t-shirt. Don't stop the slurp because you got a slurp to slot. So I want to just jump ahead to a clip that we didn't get to last week. Sure. RFK Jr. Oval Office meeting. Wanted to say a few things. He tried to get in close to the president. Yeah.

17:37Dr. Oz wasn't having it. Now, I know some of you are listening, but go do yourself a favor. We'll show it now for our viewing audience. I can add one thing from the front lines. Trump Rx, what you asked about, is incredibly popular with pharmacists. And the most common thing that they're saying is it's good for them. I mean, it's like, I was trying to think of what it looks like to me. It's like, I don't know, Fonzie. It took Ralph Malfout to, like, hit on girls. And Ralph's coming in way too hot. Fonzie's like, hey, hey. Or like, what's that like that insurance ad where it's like, don't act like your parents.

18:19And it's the guy being like, hey, see what you're doing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To me, it was almost like a good cop, bad cop. Like he was restraining RFK. Oh, yeah. Like pushing away. Like, oh, whoa, whoa. But I think what it, you know, ultimately, though, I think what it really is, is they're like, this is my turn to be in the two shot. They're both jostling to be right next to Donald Trump at all times. Ultimately, they are aware that the only way Donald Trump perceives their presence is through a television lens. Yes, absolutely. To be in a room with Donald Trump does not matter as much as being in the two-shot with Donald Trump.

19:00That is a great point. It's not necessarily, although I think this is also the case, that they want to be seen in the two shot for other people with Donald Trump. Right. But more importantly, as you say, they want to be seen in the two shot with Donald Trump for Donald Trump to see them in the two shot with him when he watches himself on Fox News or he sees it on Truth Social, the clip, wherever it is. That's such a good point. Like that's, it doesn't matter to physically be in the room with him because half the time he can't even sense who's there with him. Well, he nods off. I mean, again, he's like, or, you know, whether he's fully asleep or just like looking down at his desk, getting tired, like, you know, and.

19:42When he catches up on what happened later by re-watching it. But you know he does. You know, you know he's going to watch it on Fox News later. He knows he's going to see that clip. He wants to see who was next to him. Who was next to him and saying nice things about him. And again, they are part of this shrinking coalition of people whose survival is now completely dependent on their proximity to Trump. Because we are seeing as we go into now, obviously, during a primary, Republican primaries closest to Donald Trump still mattered a great deal. Yeah. Yes. But now we're now we're moving on to the general in the midterms.

20:20And this is less the case. Yes. One other thought I had was Oz was holding off RFK like RFK had just seen a bear killed on the side of the road. Yeah. The way he was holding him off. It was like, oh. They're on a hike. They're going on a hike. And they're trying to beat daylight. You know what I mean? Like the sun's going down and they have to hit the camping thing. And RFK is like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dead bear. Hold on. And Oz is just like, we got it. Can we play it one more time? Can we play it one more time? Let's play it one more time. I want to watch this through the lens of RFK Jr. saw a bear.

20:58I can add one thing from the front lines. The front bar wreck that you asked about is incredibly popular with pharmacists. And the most common thing that they're saying is it's good for them. I think it's more like RFK is trying to be slick about the fact that he sees a dead raccoon on the side of the road. And so he's like, because he puts his hands back in his pockets. It's almost like Looney Tunes where he's like, he's like, oh, that looks pretty good. And then Oz is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't think about it. He's like, okay, no, no, no, I'm not. I won't, I won't.

21:28And then like a second later, he tries to sneak back again. Or it's like Oz is like, they're like brothers trying to get a bank loan. He's like, just when we go and remember, let me do the talking. And he's like, dead raccoon. Oz, Oz, do you see that? Do you see? He's like, not now. Not now. This is dead raccoon. Can I go get it? My brother. Now, if you give us a capital rate, you know, they're trying that's right they're trying to be they're trying to look like normal people two normal people and drow's doing a pretty good job being normal and then it's like this jittery it's just like just trying to like change the dude can't stop moving remember when he also it's so funny how much he is constantly moving in the oval office one way or the other Like he's so like adroit.

22:19He either wants to be in the two shot with Trump or remember when the guy fainted and then he just peeled off. He just took off instantly. He's moving. He's constantly dodging. Bad vibes. Such bad vibes. Yes. Anybody who you're in a situation with, you're like a group setting and somebody is like constantly dodging to either be like out of there or back in, like based on exactly what's going on, what's most favorable to them. Because that's what's going on. He's like, is this a good shot for me to be in? Then I need to force my way in. A guy just fainted. I need to get the **** out of here because that looks bad.

22:55To catch an animal in the wild and eat it, you've got to be moving. Although, I guess we've got to. He doesn't even have time to change out of his jeans and put shorts on before a workout. Yeah. He's always, he's always got to be. I mean, how did he, how do you, how else do you think he caught that bird in the airport? Like, he's constantly jazzercising. Jazzercising. He's got to be moving constantly so he can catch snakes and birds.

23:21Talk about Trump's midterm convention. Yeah. So these are pretty much the only Republicans who seem to actually want to be near Donald Trump right now. Because as you're watching this, as you're listening to this, Trump is either preparing to or he's actually holding right now a midterm convention in Texas. So a national convention, like you would normally see for a presidential election, except for the midterms, which in itself is maybe not such an unusual idea, except of course, what's going to make it weird and is making it toxic for lots of Republicans is that Trump is going to be there and make it all about himself.

23:57And they're already, some of them are already calling it Trump a palooza because he's going to be there and he's going to make it all about himself. And that is making it toxic to Republicans in competitive districts or Senate candidates in competitive states who don't want to be near a sitting president with the lowest approval numbers on record. So if you live in a congressional district that is represented by a Republican and you're wondering, are they going to be there or not? Good chance they're not going to be. And their excuses are pretty fun. So let's listen to Republicans talk about why they can't make it to Donald Trump's midterm convention.

24:36Are you going to the midterm convention? No, I'm going to be in my district. We're going to win. OK. Yeah. Is there any reason why you decide not to go? Well, because I'm in a district that I think it's more important to be in my district. We're going for my folks. The Republican midterm convention in Texas next week? I'm working on my plan for next week. Right now, I've got other things scheduled in Nebraska, but we hope to get there. OK. So you hope to get there? I want to get there, but I've got a few things that my son's playing high school football, and I promised him I would not miss any of his games.

25:04I'm still DVD. We actually are trying to work out our schedule right now. My favorite is a guy who's like, you know, I hope to get there. So you hope to get there? I want to get there. I want, but I can't. Unfortunately, there's just no, there's no transportation. There's no public transportation between Nebraska and Texas. So it's very difficult to find. There's no, there's no, there's no routes. There's, there's a. I think roots is it roots or routes. You know what? I'm going to get back to my team to talk about roots or routes. And then we're going to get you an answer. So there's this dynamic that they're all grappling with, which is that Trumpism, the core ideology of Trump and Trumpism and MAGA has always been wildly unpopular.

25:55when represented by anyone other than Donald Trump. Even when it's Donald Trump, it's unpopular, but he has been able to use his base to catapult him into office, as he did in 2024, and conditions, like macroeconomic conditions. So he's been able to, like, and that was even without a majority of the vote. So it's still unpopular, like, broadly, even when it's represented by Donald Trump, But it's even more unpopular when it's, you know, like Dr. Oz running for Senate in Pennsylvania or something like that. And so they're all grappling with that because they're all grappling with the fact that they are attached to this political ideology that is wildly toxic and unpopular.

26:37And also they don't have the benefit of being Donald Trump with his cult of personality and the base that will. by the way the the gradually shrinking and eroding base but nonetheless there is still a base of people that will follow him anywhere and vote for him no matter what and so they are like you know what i want to make this race that i'm in just about myself and about my local issues that guy in the clip was just like just said the word district over and over he was just like i want to be in my district uh why because it's my district and i want to be i gotta be in my district My district is where I'm working to be in my district.

27:15And so that's my district. They're using the word district many times. And they want to just be like, I'm not going to the convention. I don't really, you know, I can't control. Some of them are saying like, I can't really control what the president says. I just, you know, I focus on my constituents and what they want. And they're like, maybe that's a way I can get through this midterm election and survive. And I can cling in this otherwise hostile political environment. And then Trump, just as we said with the AI, his genius political instincts, his masterful political instincts jumps in. They say, don't talk about AI.

27:46He immediately jumps in and says, you're poor and stupid if you don't want AI in your community. And the same way that they're like, you know what? Just focus on your own district. Focus on yourself. Make it about your local needs and your constituents and your community. Trump jumps in and says, pretend I'm on the ballot. But when you go vote, pretend it's Donald Trump. When you go vote in Pennsylvania's 10th congressional district, I know you're going to see a congressman there who you may or may not like or know. Or you may be voting on local issues. But instead, I want you to think about Donald Trump and his trade war with Canada.

28:24so Republicans across the country are all desperately like I just want to make this it right I just want to make this race about myself and my state or my constituency or my community not about national politics and Trump is out there saying this they say that Trump does great when he's on the ballot but when he's not on the ballot his people don't come and they don't vote for senators, congressmen and other Republicans. So what I really want you to do is pretend, please, that I'm on the ballot. Just come and vote. It's so important. It's like, because of course the helpful, the real helpful way to people in your party down ballot would be to actually be running a functioning government.

29:06Yes. And even if you're not, even if you are toxic and you're incapable of running a functioning government, would also then just to be to cede the spotlight. Yes. And also like not make the election about the toxicity of an incompetence and corruption of your government. And instead, he can't help. And that's what Republicans want. They're all behind the scenes. They're all having planning sessions where they're like, OK, so, yeah, I don't think we want the president to campaign with us. You know, I don't think we need him to come to Michigan. I don't think we need him to come to Maine. And he's just like, I'm coming to Michigan.

29:42Here I come. Well, you know, the one thing I will say is he does still have this ability to kind of lock in on the issues that everyday Americans are worried about. And he had a very, I mean, for me, you know, it did pull on my heartstrings when he was talking about a friend of his who had an issue with a, I believe it was a Gulfstream. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And, you know, who among us, right? Yeah. Doesn't have a friend in these economic times who has had to make decisions about their private plane that are influenced by their pocketbook. Difficult, wrenching decisions, kitchen table issues that we're all dealing with.

30:26You know, obviously, you want to believe that you can work hard every day. And when it's time to go get your private plane, you don't have to scrimp together nickels and dimes and be worried about it. Yeah, this is an issue that everyday Americans are struggling with at their kitchen tables every day, sitting down to balance their checkbook and figuring out how do we afford the Gulfstream this year. So let's take a look. I had a case about a week ago where a friend of mine was buying a Gulfstream jet. And he said, you know, it's a crazy thing. We're not able that Canada won't certify Gulfstream.

31:04Won't certify it. Gulfstream is the best private jet, considered the best of the best. And they won't certify it in Canada because they make a competitor, Bombardier Global Express. And so their competitor didn't want them to have competition. So for approximately nine years, this has been going on. They won't certify Gulfstream. Wow. I mean, because imagine, like, I mean, imagine just, like, going to meet some friends, and, you know, you land at the airport in your Bombardier, and just, you know. Global Express. Global Express. And you know the way they're just snickering behind your back. You know, the way they're, you know, poking fun at you, because the only thing you could get certified was a Bombardier.

32:00global express global express by the way this is him justifying his trade war with canada right that is imposing 50 tariffs and retaliatory dollar for dollar 50 tariffs by canada against american products against our closest neighbor and ally this is him justifying it by saying he had a friend who couldn't get a gulf stream and had to fly a bombardier had to fly a bombardier

32:28No wonder, I can't imagine why Republicans don't want to campaign with him this fall Also, Sal, while we're talking about a man who has two and a half, if not three hobbies Yes You have a child and a job I have children and a job When's the last time you talked to a friend?

32:53You know what I mean? The amount of time he has to talk to a friend. Like, put that on the list of stuff I don't have time for. It's true. He has his commerce secretary out there saying, please let him have at least two hobbies. Please. He's got to have two hobbies during the week, by the way. Like, during the work week. The other day, I was waiting outside the Oval Office to meet with him, and I heard him on the phone with one of his friends saying how hard his life is right now because he only has two hobbies. Yeah, the amount of anecdotes that he says that start with, I spoke to a friend. It's either one of two things and they're both bad.

33:32Either he's completely making it up and imagining it. And it's a psychosis. It's a symptom of his psychosis. The friend is a voice inside his head or it's a manifestation of himself. Like he tried to get a Gulfstream and he could only get a Bombardier. or he really was talking to a guy for an hour plus or whatever about how he couldn't get a Gulfstream. It's probably both. I think it's the latter. I think it's, I think he, he talked to a guy who complained about this. I definitely think he talks to be, no doubt. It's been reported that he spends a lot of time just like with people on the phone.

34:05His fourth, his third or fourth hobby at this point. It's nuts. And, but if I was, if my wife came in with the kids and I was on the phone and she's like, who are you talking to? And I said, a friend. She'd slap the phone out of my hand and she'd have every right to do so. But would you have your name printed on the phone to indicate that it is yours? Because Donald Trump did that recently. On his Oval Office phone? We'll show the photo real quick, yeah. Somebody snapped a photo where the same way that he has put all of this, sort of all of these like gold details and put his name on everything, he's now put his name on the Oval Office phone.

34:45with all of these gold trim. And somebody snapped a photo in the Oval Office the other day and realized that the Oval Office phone now says Donald J. Trump on it with a bunch of gold details. I mean, I would say that whoever comes in next should do two things. The first would be just bring in Gallagher and just sledgehammer all this and do it on TV. The other thing is I would think of the next administration should be in like, just go, I'm writing a presidential order, rescinding all the dumb s***. Yeah. And just like, it's not even like, we're not even going to itemize it. Yeah. If you, if it's dumb, you can stop now.

35:30I'd like, it'd be like, I'm not going to tell Apple Maps what to do right now. Yeah. But let's just say if it was dumb, you can stop.

35:42an anti-dumb anti-dumb platform anti-dumb platform just the dumb would be very yes time to put an end to the dumb would be a nice plank for a democrat to run on in 2028 but um we're talking about but yeah trump has all this time has a lot of friends and he talked to another one and you know we had our fun about the gulf stream guy obviously that was you know i don't actually have any empathy for the guy who couldn't get his Gulfstream certified and instead had to fly a Bombardier. I sometimes like to go to one of those, you know, bespoke cocktail bars in New York City and get a Bombardier. Right after work.

36:20A Global Express. Global Express. Global Express means two olives.

36:27So he's got another friend and, you know, and this is not a laughing matter because this is a health issue. And I don't want to poke fun at Donald Trump. And he was taking it seriously. Yes, we want to give the president credit. He was taking this very seriously. He was talking about it in a very sober way. Yeah. And so we want to hear this heartfelt plea by the president of the United States to consider the plight of another one of his dear friends that he spoke with on the phone. A friend of mine, very, very heavy. He's a very obese person. I said, you're an extremely obese person, but he's a brilliant guy.

37:07He's a Wall Street guy. He's a brutal man, but smart as hell, but he's got a serious weight problem. And he called me up, and he's from New York. He's one of the top guys on Wall Street. He's begging me, because I've told the story a couple of times, not to mention his name, because I'll destroy his reputation. But he's tough as hell, and he's smart, vicious, wild. But he said, you know, Mr. President, I was in London and I paid$86 for Ozempic. And in New York, I pay$1 ,300 for the same thing. I said, are you taking this stuff? Yeah. I said, it's not working. You look like ****. It's like he's playing a game.

37:53The amount he wants to maintain his friend's anonymity while also giving clues like it's a game of celebrity yeah every everything is like nobody wants to know him new york city wall street top of his name very smart also brutal vicious don't like i was just writing down descriptions of the guy fat brutal smart new york wall street and here's the thing yeah i don't know who that guy is you don't know who that guy is i guarantee that guy knows he was talking about him yeah and And so do that guy's thousand closest friends. Yes. Yeah. Like we may not know the exact identity of that person, but there are a lot of people who listen to that story and they're like, oh, I know who.

38:41Oh, I know a brutal, obese Wall Street Titan who's friends with Donald Trump. A vicious wild man. Who wouldn't want people to know his name. Yeah. I love, I love all. Yeah. By the way, again, in case you couldn't see, in case you're listening only to the audio of this, Seth wrote down a bunch of words from Trump's description on a whiteboard that you could play. It's like an at-home game you can play. Yeah. Fat, brutal, smart, vicious, New York, Wall Street. Then, by the way, again, the rest of the clip is complaining about the cost of Ozempic, basically. Yes. He's upset about not the fact that it's expensive here.

39:19He's upset about the fact that it's inexpensive abroad. odd. He's been doing, he's been going, he's been ranting about how he wants other countries to raise their drug prices. Yes. To match ours so that it's fair. Where of course, as opposed to, as opposed to the other solution, which would be to simply negotiate drug prices to bring them down here and make healthcare universal and free for all at the point of access. But instead, he's decided the solution to make it fair is Ozempic should be way more expensive in London. Yeah. And so, you know, I had called the prime minister of the UK and I said, you got to make your fat pills more expensive.

40:05My friend flew over to London in his Gulfstream jumbo, obviously. And they had to retrofit his plane to make it. His big Bombardier. Bombardier. He could barely fit his Bombardier through the door of his Gulfstream. That's the noise it made as he went up the stairs. Bum, bum, bum, bum, party. Anyway, that's my time. That's my time. Yes, exactly. My friends are fat. That's my time.

40:40That's exactly it. It's an 80s stand-up bit. It should have a brick wall behind him. Hey, can I clean something up? Yeah. I feel like I was a little snarky about MapQuest, but it does seem like they're actually genuinely having a moment here. um, yeah, so like a million downloads of, uh, yes. So I want to get back to this. So yeah, we were, what got us onto this tangent talking about Trump's friends was the, the ongoing trade war with Canada, which of course is another thing dragging him down in the midterm. So we're talking about why Republicans don't want to be near him in the midterms. There's this midterm convention going on probably as you're watching or listening to this.

41:13Um, and Republicans don't want to be there. They don't want to be associated with Donald Trump. He's forcing his way into the election to make it all about him and his trade war with Canada, which is wildly unpopular. And And he's justifying it because he has a rich friend who can't get his Gulfstream certified in Canada, whatever that means. And we've been talking about how, of course, the only retaliatory move that he could think of other than to continue raising tariffs, which are wildly unpopular with American consumers and going to make their lives more difficult and prices higher, the only other move he could think of was to rename a lake.

41:43And so he renamed Lake Ontario, Lake America, which polls show everybody hates. And the only people who have gone along with it are Google Maps and Apple Maps. And I actually wanted to, before we get to MapQuest, I just wanted to read what Trump had to say about this because he was really happy that Google and Apple had gone along with it. He's renaming the lake, but nobody gives a s**t. Nobody's going to call it Lake America. Right. Except for these companies that two American consumers will show it as labeled as Lake America. And so Trump posted, Apple Maps has just announced that it has changed the name of Lake Ontario to Lake America.

42:25So now that very important change of names between Google Maps and Apple Maps is complete, ratified, and binding. So what made it ratified and binding is that Apple Maps finally changed it from Lake Ontario to Lake America? You need two maps to change it, and then it's ratified. Yeah, that's in the Constitution. The second map. That's an article too. The elusive second map. It's hard. You can get one map easily. So I was not giving enough credit to, one, MapQuest for holding the line. Yeah, so last episode we talked about how MapQuest decided. They said, we're not changing it. It seems like they're actually being rewarded for having a little backbone here.

43:08And a shout out to MapQuest. So, yeah, MapQuest, as you say, is legitimately having a moment. This is from New York Magazine. The most downloaded free apps on the Apple App Store are pretty predictable. Claude, ChatGPT, and TikTok currently rank in the top 10. But this week there's been a surprise guest in first MapQuest. Around 1 million people have downloaded the app since Thursday, their general manager said. The million new users mark a huge opportunity for MapQuest and its 50 employees. And not just because of the chance to become a household name again. This is a pretty surreal moment, he says.

43:48People are talking about geography again. That's great. Also, sorry, is he, he's a general manager? I think that already speaks to maybe the level MapQuest was at. That's what, that's how they identified him in the. Like, I feel like you're thinking these other ones, you're thinking about CEOs and they're like, yeah, yeah. One of the reasons to go back to MapQuest is you can still talk to the manager. I was just, that's the only friend you can have an hour long phone call with is the general manager of MapQuest. your wife comes in who are you talking to? oh I'm talking to the manager at MapQuest yeah he's helped me figure out where remember I missed that exit last week?

44:24he's helped me with that hey since Apple Maps changed the name I'm going to start referring to Apple Maps as Apple D Maps as what? Apple D Maps like Apple D App from Black Eyed Peas oh I completely I'm sorry completely completely no i don't i don't worry it's okay you missed it everybody listening got it fine it's just bad luck for me only one person didn't get it and it was the guy i do the podcast with but everybody at home listening got it i think i still don't i think i still don't get it i think i need somebody at i think i need somebody at home to explain it to me and that's another fun game you know who you can call who can i call the gm over at map uh map quest quest that's my life yeah oh my what are you doing sorry i'm on my third hobby right now i'm talking to my friend at map quest that's my third hobby about what about geography about geography well because i hear you saying apple de maps what is that i don't know nobody else is saying what is that everybody else remembers that apple the app was in black eyed peas you're hearing it more and more people they're saying apple maps that's what they call it in french apple de maps Bombardier My friend couldn't get a Gulfstream so he had to get an Apple Demaps It's a subsidiary of Bombardier Global Express Bombardier, my friend He flies first class On Bombardier fatty Bombardier XL My friend has a Bombardier XL Double XL Double XL Big old isle giant isle

46:14bombardier is a big and tall section I'll tell you he boards that plane and you're like there's no way it's getting off the ground thanks to the jets it gets up there it's a little bit like the plane in the rescuers we all remember the bird the albatross in the rescuers you never thought it would take off but it took off that's what it's like when it's bombardier the way the butt hit the tarmac It's the same thing with Bombardier. How big is his Bombardier? They say when his Bombardier sits around the house, it sits around the house. Just doing your mama jokes. That's his friend. That's his friend.

46:50That's his dear friend. He doesn't want me to say his name. It starts with a J, last initial M. He's a great guy. I don't want to ruin his reputation. He's brutal and nasty. Brutal and nasty, lives on the Upper West Side, black hair.

47:06has a house in Greenwich has another place in Palm Beach three daughters and a son two in college one out of college one about to go doesn't want me to say his name his wife Wendy zip code is 10001 that's not where he's paying his taxes Delaware he's gonna be mad about that too He's incorporated in Delaware. I don't want to tell you too much more, but he's incorporated in Delaware. But if you're looking for him, IRS, you're not going to find him in Delaware. You're just going to find him in Delaware. It's ironic because Delaware is one of the smallest states, but this is my biggest friend. Biggest friend?

47:45He barely found him? A little bit of him, when he goes back to Delaware, a little bit of him is still in Pennsylvania.

47:56Again, this is all the president talking about his own friend. Yeah, this is not how we talk about people.

48:07Oh, there is one more thing I think that is very much worth getting to. Please. Which is, speaking about the midterm elections, like, we've talked so much about how the Trump agenda has been toxic and wildly unpopular, and Republicans don't want to be associated with it. And so Trump, of course, is resorting now to the only other way that he can think to try to win. And so there was this huge whistleblower complaint that came out within the last week about the plan at the United States Postal Service to reject ballots based on whether essentially Trump thinks they should be legitimate or not to reject mail-in ballots.

48:51Leading up to the midterm elections, an anonymous whistleblower calls President Trump's handling of mail-in ballots potentially catastrophic. The warning, new rules could delay or even reject large numbers of ballots ahead of the November midterms. The disclosure also alleges that USPS is moving forward with that system despite court rulings blocking parts of President Trump's election executive order. So there's a couple of things about this. So this is all going through the courts right now. But this whistleblower complaint, first of all, the idea that we're living in a timeline where there is a whistleblower, an anonymous whistleblower from inside the Postal Service about what the president of the United States is trying to do.

49:34The most haunting thing is, according to this whistleblower, if 10 ,000 ballots are delivered in bulk and one of the 10 ,000 ballots has an error, they can reject all 10 ,000. Let me read that whole, I'm going to read that so people can see that. This is from the complaint because it's like, it's one of the most stunning, mind-blowing details to me. So when a whistleblower says this is potentially catastrophic, this is what they're talking about. Not only is the system astonishingly untested, USPS has simultaneously implemented an impracticable 0 % failure rate. When ballots are submitted to USPS in large volume batches, if any one ballot in the batch cannot be verified against the portal, all ballots in that batch will be rejected.

50:19For example, if a state election official brings a batch of 10 ,000 ballots to USPS and USPS is unable to match just one of those ballots against the portal because, for example, someone has recently changed their name after marriage or they're moved, then USPS would refuse to mail the remaining 9 ,999 ballots as well. That's insane. Also insane is the idea that in order to even find that one error ballot, a USPS employee has to check 10 ,000 ballots against a portal. Like it's never, it's already, it's built to fail. Yes. A portal that I'm sure will be one of the most dysfunctional, least competent portals.

51:08First of all, anytime you hear the word portal, period. Period. Have you ever encountered a portal that you want to? The federal government does not crush portals. I mean, they're not portal crushers. No. I've never encountered a portal, period, that I wanted to use. I mean, portals are only ever associated with bad things. Like you have to go through a health insurance portal to file your reimbursement claim or whatever. Yeah, you never want to be in the portal. The DMV portal. The DMV has a portal where you can renew your license. You never want to be in a portal. Now, thankfully, the people who are fighting this in court are very confident that they'll be able to stop it in court.

51:48And obviously, I'm hopeful that they are right. So there is ongoing litigation to stop this. But it's crazy, again, that they're even trying. They're trying to use the Postal Service to reject mail-in ballots en masse. Unless, of course, you're Donald Trump, in which case you're allowed to vote by mail because it's convenient for you. Oh, no. Uh-oh. What's that coming through the cloud? It's a bombardier. You can't hold the weight. I bet I know who's in there.

52:26Clear the cornfield. You know, these mail-in ballots, they put them on planes. and you would think all these ballots are heavy, but they're not as heavy as my friend on his plane. First name starts with J. Same as an actor named Nicholson. If you're thinking of him, it's very close, but he wants to remain anonymous. He said it would ruin his life. He said if people found out who I was talking about, he'd buy one ticket to Paris, go right up the arc to Triomphe. Didn't say what he'd do when he got to the top, but I think we know. I think we know. And that's why we're building a trampoline right below the Arctic Trail.

53:06Hard to build one big enough for him. But we're doing it. We're doing it. We're doing it very strongly. We're doing it very strongly. So I won't say who he is. He plays pickleball every Wednesday. Plays pickleball. Not anymore, actually. Tore his ACL last Tuesday. So if you see somebody in a cast, a pickleball cast, probably him.

53:34might be dark when you see him because he's blocking out the sun

53:41alright well this is episode 5 hey happy well we hope you had a happy Labor Day we hope you had a happy Labor Day but I hope you have a happy one Sal and I hope you had a happy Labor Day as well thanks bud good luck with your bombardier I'll be on my Gulfstream hopefully I'll try to get my captain to do that thing where they tilt the wing to wave as I pass you. All right. Yeah. Is that a real thing that they do? I mean, it feels like they should be able to. Not rocket science. That's why Gulfstream is the best. Because Gulfstream can wave. Bombardier can't wave. It can only do like a French. It's like a snooty.

54:21It can only say it's a snooty little French. All right, buddy. All right. See you. Bye, everybody.

54:36Late Night with Seth Meyers airs weeknights on NBC at 1235, 1135 Central. Original music on the Late Night Podcast is by the HE Band. Don't forget to follow the handle LateNightSeth on social media and tell your friends to subscribe to the Late Night Podcast wherever they get their podcasts.

55:00Thank you.